a faire riddance of this Calidonian Bore Eud. O most prodigious audaciousnesse Thar. True Madam O fie vpon am they are intollerable And I can not but admire your singular vertue of patience not common in your sexe and must therefore carrie with it some rare indowment of other Masculine and Heroicall vertues To heare á rude Spartane court so ingenuous a Ladie with dull newes from Athens or the Vicerois court how many dogs were spoil'd at the last Bull-baiting what Ladies dub'd their husbands Knights and so forth Eud. But hast thou no shame No sense of what disdain I shew'd thee in my last entertainment chacing thee from my presence and charging thy dutie not to attempt the like intrusion for thy life and dar'st thou yet approch mee in this vnmannerly manner No question this desperate boldnesse can not choose but goe accompanied with other infinite rudenesses Thar. Good Madam giue not the Child an vnfit name terme it not boldnes which the Sages call true confidence founded on the most infallible Rocke of a womans constancie Eud. If shame can not restraine thee tell mee yet if any brainlesse foole would haue tempted the danger attending thy approch Thar. No Madam that proues I am no Foole Then had I been here a Foole and a base low-sprited Spartan if for a Ladies froune or a Lords threates or for a Guard of Groomes I should haue shrunke in the wetting and suffer'd such a delicious flower to perish in the stalke or to be sauadgely pluckt by a prophane finger No Madam First let me be made a Subiect for disgrace let your remorselesse Guard seaze on my despised bodie bind me hand and foot and hurle me into your Ladiships bed Eud. O Gods I protest thou dost more and more make me admire thee Thar. Madam ignorance is the mother of admiration know me better and you le admire me lesse Eud. What would'st thou haue mee know what seekes thy comming why dost thou hant me thus Thar. Only Madam that the Aetna of my sighes and Nilus of my teares pour'd forth in your presence might witnesse to your Honor the hot and moist affection of my hart and worke me some measure of fauour from your sweete tongue or your sweeter lips or what else your good Ladiship shall esteeme more conducible to your diuine contentment Eud. Pen and Inck-horne I thanke thee This you learn'd when you were a Seruing-man Thar. Madam I am still the same creature and I will so tie my whole fortunes to that stile as were it my happinesse as I know it will be to mount into my Lords succession yet vow I neuer to assume other Title or State then your seruants Not approching your boord but bidden Not pressing to your bed but your pleasure shall be first known if you will command me any seruice Eud. Thy vowes are as vaine as a Ruffins othes as common as the aire and as cheape as the dust How many of the light huswiues thy Muses hath thy loue promist this seruice besides I pray thee Thar. Compare shadowes to bodies Madam Pictures to the life and such are they to you in my valuation Eud. I see wordes will neuer free me of thy boldnesse and will therefore now vse blowes and those of the mortallest enforcement Let it suffice Sir that all this time and to this place you enioy your safetie keepe backe No one foote follow mee further for I protest to thee the next threshold past le ts passe a prepar'd Ambush to thy latest breath Exit Eud. Thar. This for your Ambush He drawes Dare my loue with death Clin. Slight follow an t please your Honour Arg. Not I by this light Clin. I hope Gentle-women you will Sthe. Not we Sir we are no parters of fraies Clin. Faith nor I le be any breaker of customes Exeunt Finis Actus Secundi Actus Tertij Scoena Prima Enter Lysander and Lycus booted Lyc. WOuld any heart of Adamant for satisfaction of an vngrounded humour racke a poore Ladies innocencie as you intend to doe It was a strange curiositie in that Emperour that ript his Mothers wombe to see the place he lay in Lys. Come do not lode me with volumes of perswasion I am resolu'd if shee be gold shee may abide the tast le ts away I wonder where this wild brother is Enter Cynthia Hylus and Ero. Cynth. SIr Lysand. I pray thee wife shew but thy selfe a woman and be silent question no more the reason of my iourney which our great Viceroies charge vrg'd in this letter doth enforce me to Cynth. Let me but see that letter there is somthing in this presaging bloud of mine tells me this sodaine iourney can portend no good resolue me sweet haue not I giuen you cause of discontent by some misprision or want of fit obseruance let mee know that I may wreake my selfe vpon my selfe Lysand. Come wife our loue is not growne old and staid And must not wanton it in tricks of Court Nor enterchang'd delights of melting louers Hanging on sleeues fighting loth to depart These toies are past with vs our true loues substance Hath worne out all the shew let it suffice I hold thee deare and thinke some cause of weight With no excuse to be dispendst with all Compells me from thy most desir'd embraces I stay but for my Brother came he not in last night Hyl. For certaine no sir which gaue vs cause of wonder what accident kept him abrode Cynth. Pray heauen it proue not some wild resolution bred in him by his second repulse from the Countesse Lysand. Trust me I something feare it this insatiate spirit of aspiring being so dangerous and fatall desire mounted on the wings of it descends not but headlong Enter Thars. Hyl. Sir sir here 's my Vncle Lysand. What wrapt in carelesse cloake face hid in hat vnbanded these are the ditches brother in which outraging colts plunge both themselues and their riders Thar. Well wee must get out as well as wee may if not there 's the making of a graue sau'd Cynth. That 's desperately spoken brother had it not been happier the colt had beene better broken and his rider not fallen in Thar. True sister but wee must ride colts before wee can breake them you know Lysand. This is your blind Goddesse Confidence Thar. Alas brother our house is decaid my honest ambition to restore it I hope be pardonable My comfort is the Poet that pens the storie wil write ore my head magnis tamen excidit ausis which in our natiue Idiome lets you know His mind was high though Fortune was his Foe Lysand. A good resolue brother to out-iest disgrace come I had been on my iourney but for some priuate speech with you le ts in Thar. Good brother stay a little helpe out this ragged colt out of the ditch Lysand. How now Thar. Now I confesse my ouersight this haue I purchas'd by my confidence Lysand. I like you brother 't is the true Garb you know What wants in
Pandresse Arg. What shall we doe Sthe. Goe to Let vs alone Arsace Ars. I Ladie Sthe. You must pardon vs we can not obtaine your accesse Ars. Mistris Sthenio tell her Honour if I get not accesse to her and that instantly shee 's vndone Sthe. This is some-thing of importance Madam shee sweares your Honour is vndone if she speake not with you instantly Eud. Vndone Ars. Pray her for her Honours sake to giue mee instant accesse to her Sthe. Shee makes her businesse your Honour Madame and entreates for the good of that her instant speech with you Eud. How comes my Honour in question Bring her to mee Enter Arsace Ars. OVr Cypriane Goddesse saue your good Honor Eud. Stand you off I pray How dare you Mistris importune accesse to me thus considering the last warning I gaue for your absence Ars. Because Madam I haue been mou'd by your Honours last most chast admonition to leaue the offensiue life I led before Eud. I haue you left it then Ars. I I assure your Honour vnlesse it be for the pleasure of two or three poore Ladies that haue prodigall Knights to their husbands Eud. Out on thee Impudent Ars. Alas Madam wee would all bee glad to liue in our callings Eud. Is this the reform'd life thou talk'st on Ars. I beseech your good Honour mistake me not I boast of nothing but my charitie that 's the worst Eud. You get these iewels with charitie no doubt But what 's the point in which my Honour stands endanger'd I pray Ars. In care of that Madam I haue presum'd to offend your chast eies with my presence Hearing it reported for truth and generally that your Honor will take to husband a yong Gentleman of this Citie called Tharsalio Eud. I take him to husband Ars. If your Honour does you are vtterly vndone for hee 's the most incontinent and insatiate Man of Women that euer VENVS blest with abilitie to please them Eud. Let him be the Deuill I abhorre his thought and could I be inform'd particularly of any of these slanderers of mine Honour he should as dearely dare it as any thing wherein his life were endanger'd Ars. Madam the report of it is so strongly confident that I feare the strong destinie of marriage is at worke in it But if it bee Madam Let your Honours knowne vertue resist and defie it for him for not a hundred will serue his one turne I protest to your Honour When VENVS pardon mee I winckt at my vnmaidenly exercise I haue knowne nine in a Night made mad with his loue Eud. What tell'st thou mee of his loue I tell thee I abhorre him and destinie must haue an other mould for my thoughts then Nature or mine Honour and a Witchcraft aboue both to transforme mee to another shape as soone as to an other conceipt of him Ars. Then is your good Honour iust as I pray for you and good Madam euen for your vertues sake and comfort of all your Dignities and Possessions fixe your whole Woman-hood against him Hee will so inchant you as neuer man did woman Nay a Goddesse say his light huswiues is not worthie of his sweetnesse Eud. Goe to be gone Ars. Deare Madam your Honours most perfect admonitions haue brought mee to such a hate of these imperfections that I could not but attend you with my dutie and vrge his vnreasonable manhood to the fill Eud. Man-hood quoth you Ars. Nay Beastly-hood I might say indeede Madam but for sauing your Honour Nine in a night said I Eud. Goe to no more Ars. No more Madame that 's enough one would thinke Eud. Well be gone I bid thee Ars. Alas Madam your Honour is the chiefe of our Citie and to whom shall I complaine of these inchastities being your Ladiships reform'd Tennant but to you that are chastest Eud. I pray thee goe thy waies and let me see this reformation you pretend continued Ars. I humbly thanke your good Honour that was first cause of it Eud. Here 's a complaint as strange as my Suiter Ars. I beseech your good Honour thinke vpon him make him an example Eud. Yet againe Ars. All my dutie to your Excellence Exit Ars. Eud. These sorts of licentious persons when they are once reclaim'd are most vehement against licence But it is the course of the world to dispraise faults vse them that so we may vse them the safer What might a wise Widdow resolue vpon this point now Contentment is the end of all wordly beings Beshrow her would shee had spared her newes Exit Reb. See if shee take not a contrarie way to free her selfe of vs Hiar. You must complaine to his Altitude Psor. All this for triall is you must indure That will haue wiues nought else with them is sure Exit Tharsalio Arsace Thar. HAst thou beene admitted then Ars. Admitted I into her heart I le able it neuer was man so prais'd with a dispraise nor so spoken for in being rail'd on I le giue you my word I haue set her hart vpon as tickle a pin as the needle of a Diall that will neuer let it rest till it be in the right position Thar, Why dost thou imagine this Ars. Because I saw Cupid shoot in my wordes and open his wounds in her lookes Her bloud went and came of errands betwixt her face and her heart and these changes I can tell you are shrewd tell-tales Thar. Thou speak'st like a Doctrisse in thy facultie but howsoeuer for all this foile I le retriue the game once againe hee 's a shallow gamster that for one displeasing cast giues vp so faire a game for lost Ars. Well 't was a villanous inuention of thine and had a swift operation it tooke like sulphure And yet this vertuous Countesse hath to my eare spun out many a tedious lecture of pure sisters thred against concupiscence But euer with such an affected zeale as my minde gaue me shee had a kinde of secret titillation to grace my poore house sometimes but that shee fear'd a spice of the Sciatica which as you know euer runs in the bloud Thar. And as you know sokes into the bones But to say truth these angrie heates that breake out at the lips of these streight lac't Ladies are but as symptoms of a lustfull feuer that boiles within them For wherefore rage wiues at their husbands so when they flie out for zeale against the sinne Ars. No but because they did not purge that sinne Thar. Th' art a notable Syren and I sweare to thee if I prosper not only to giue thee thy mannor-house gratis but to marrie thee to some one Knight or other and burie thy trade in thy Ladiship Goe be gone Exit Ars. Enter Lycus Thar. WHat newes Lycus where 's the Ladie Lyc. Retir'd into her Orchard Thar. A pregnant badge of loue shee 's melancholy Lyc. 'T is with the sight of her Spartane wooer But howsoeuer t is with her you haue practis'd strangely vpon your Brother Thar. Why so Lyc.
You had almost lifted his wit off the hinges That sparke ielousie falling into his drie melancholy braines had well neare set the whole house on fire Thar. No matter let it worke I did but pay him in 's owne coine Sfoot hee plied me with such a volley of vnseason'd scoffs as would haue made Patience it selfe turne Ruffine attiring it selfe in wounds and bloud but is his humour better qualified then Lyc. Yes but with a medicine ten parts more dangerous then the sicknesse how know you strange his dotage euer was on his wife taking speciall glorie to haue her loue and loialtie to him so renowm'd abrode To whom shee oftentimes hath vow'd constancie after life till her owne death had brought forsooth her widdow-troth to bed This he ioi'd in strangely and was therein of infallible beliefe till your surmise began to shake it which hath loos'd it so as now there 's nought can settle it but a triall which hee 's resolu'd vpon Thar. As how man as how Lyc. Hee is resolu'd to follow your aduise to die and make triall of her stablenesse and you must lend your hand to it Thar. What to cut 's throat Lyc. To forge a rumour of his death to vphold it by circumstance maintaine a publike face of mourning and all thinges appertaining Thar. I but the meanes man what time what probabilitie Lyc. Nay I thinke he has not lickt his Whelpe into full shape yet but you shall shortly heare an t Thar. And when shall this strange conception see light Lyc. Forthwith there 's nothing staies him but some odde businesse of import which hee must winde vp least perhaps his absence by occasion of his intended triall bee prolonged aboue his aimes Thar. Thankes for this newes i' faith This may perhaps proue happie to my Nephew Truth is I loue my sister well and must acknowledge her more then ordinarie vertues But shee hath so possest my brothers heart with vowes and disauowings seal'd with oathes of second nuptialls as in that confidence hee hath inuested her in all his state the ancient inheritance of our Familie and left my Nephew and the rest to hang vpon her pure deuotion so as he dead and shee matching as I am resolu'd shee will with some yong Prodigall what must ensue but her post-issue beggerd and our house alreadie sinking buried quick in ruin But this triall may remoue it and since t is come to this marke but the issue Lycus for all these solemne vowes if I doe not make her proue in the handling as weake as a wafer say I lost my time in trauaile This resolution then has set his wits in ioynt againe hee 's quiet Lyc. Yes and talkes of you againe in the fairest manner listens after your speede Thar. Nay hee 's passing kinde but I am glad of this triall for all that Lyc. Which he thinkes to be a flight beyond your wing Thar. But hee will change that thought ere long My Bird you saw euen now sings me good newes and makes hopefull signes to me Lyc. Somewhat can I say too since your messengers departure her Ladiship hath beene something alter'd more pensiue then before and tooke occasion to question of you what your addictions were of what tast your humor was of what cut you wore your wit and all this in a kind of disdainefull scorne Thar. Good Callenders Lycus Well I le pawne this iewell with thee my next encounter shall quite alter my brothers iudgement Come le ts in he shall commend it for a discreet and honourable attempt Mens iudgments sway on that side fortune leanes Thy wishes shall assist me Lyc. And my meanes Exeunt Argus Clinias Sthenio Ianthe Arg. I Must confesse I was ignorant what 't was to court a Ladie till now Sthe. And I pray you what is it now Arg. To court her I perceiue is to woo her with letters from Court for so this Spartane Lords Court discipline teacheth Sth. His Lordship hath procur'd a new Pacquet from his Altitude Clin. If he bring no better ware then letters in 's pacquet I shall greatly doubt of his good speede Ian. If his Lordship did but know how gracious his Aspect is to my Ladie in this solitarie humour Clin. Well these retir'd walkes of hers are not vsuall and bode some alteration in her thoughts What may bee the cause Sthenio Sthe. Nay t would trouble Argus with his hundred eies to descrie the cause Ian. Venus keepe her vpright that shee fall not from the state of her honour my feare is that some of these Serpentine suiters will tempt her from her constant vow of widdow-hood If they doe good night to our good daies Sthe. 'T were a sinne to suspect her I haue been witnesse to so many of her fearfull protestations to our late Lord against that course to her infinite oathes imprinted on his lips and seal'd in his heart with such imprecations to her bed if euer it should receiue a second impression to her open and often detestations of that incestuous life as shee term'd it of widdowes marriages as being but a kinde of lawfull adulterie like vsurie permitted by the law not approu'd That to wed a second was no better then to cuckold the first That women should entertaine wedlock as one bodie as one life beyond which there were no desire no thought no repentance from it no restitution to it So as if the conscience of her vowes should not restraine her yet the worlds shame to breake such a constant resolution should represse any such motion in her Arg. Well for her vowes they are gone to heauen with her husband they binde not vpon earth And as for Womens resolutions I must tell you The Planets as Ptolomie saies the windes haue a great stroke in them Trust not my learning if her late strangenesse and exorbitant solitude be not hatching some new Monster Ian. Well applied Argus Make you husbands Monsters Arg. I spoke of no husbands but you Wenches haue the pregnant wits to turne Monsters into husbands as you turne husbands into monsters Sthe. Well Ianthe 't were high time we made in to part our Ladie and her Spartane wooer Ian. We shall appeare to her like the two fortunate Stars in a tempest to saue the shipwrack of her patience Sthe. I and to him to I beleeue For by this time he hath spent the last dramme of his newes Arg. That is of his wit Sth. Iust good wittals Ian. If not that my Ladie be not too deep in her new dumps we shall heare from his Lordship what such a Lord said of his wife the first night hee embrac't her To what Gentleman such a Count was beholding for his fiue children What yong Ladie such an old Count should marrie what Reuells what presentments are towards and who penn'd the Pegmas and so forth and yet for all this I know her harsh Suiter hath tir'd her to the vttermost scruple of her forbearances and will doe more vnlesse we two like
newest stamp Know you what t is to forsake your stand There 's one of the bodies in your charge stolne away how answere you that See here comes the Gouernour Enter a Guard bare after the Gouernour Tharsalio Argus Clinias before Eudora Cynthia Laodice Sthenio Ianthe Ero c. Guard STand aside there Cap. Roome for a strange Gouernour The perfect draught of a most brainelesse imperious vpstart O desert where wert thou when this woodden dagger was guilded ouer with the Title of Gouernour Guard Peace Masters heare my Lord Thar. All wisedome be silent Now speakes Authoritie Gouer. I am come in person to discharge Iustice Thar. Of his office Gouer. The cause you shall know hereafter and it is this A villaine whose very sight I abhorre where is he Let mee see him Cap. Is 't Lycus you meane my Lord Gouer. Goe to sirrha y' are too malipert I haue heard of your Sentinells escape looke too 't Cap. My Lord this is the Sentinell you speake of Gouer. How now Sir what time a day i st Arg. I can not shew you precisely an t please your Honour Gouer. What shall we haue replications Reioinders Thar. Such a creature Foole is when hee bestrides the back of Authoritie Gouer. Sirrha stand you forth It is supposed thou hast committed a most inconuenient murther vpon the body of Lysander Lyc. My good Lord I haue not Gouer. Peace varlet dost chop with me I say it is imagined thou hast murther'd Lysander How it will be prou'd I know not Thou shalt therefore presently bee had to execution as iustice in such cases requireth Souldiers take him away bring forth the Sentinell Lyc. Your Lordship will first let my defence be heard Gouer. Sirrha I le no fending nor prouing For my part I am satisfied it is so that 's enough for thee I had euer a Sympathy in my minde against him Let him be had away Thar. A most excellent apprehension Hee 's able yee see to iudge of a cause at first sight and heare but two parties Here 's a second Solon Eud. Heare him my Lord presumptions oftentimes Though likely grounded reach not to the truth And Truth is oft abus'd by likelyhood Let him be heard my Lord Gouer. Madam content your selfe I will doe iustice I will not heare him Your late Lord was my Honourable Predecessour But your Ladiship must pardon me In matters of iustice I am blinde Thar. That 's true Gouer. I know no persons If a Court fauourite write to mee in a case of iustice I will pocket his letter and proceede If a Suiter in a case of iustice thrusts a bribe into my hand I will pocket his bribe and proceede Therefore Madam set your heart at rest I am seated in the Throne of iustice and I will doe iustice I will not heare him Eud. Not heare him my Lord Gouer. No my Ladie and moreouer put you in mind in whose presence you stand if you Parrat to me long goe to Thar. Nay the Vice must snap his Authoritie at all he meetes how shalt else be knowne what part he plaies Gouer. Your husband was a Noble Gentleman but Alas hee came short hee was no Statesman Hee has left a foule Citie behinde him Thar. I and I can tell you t will trouble his Lordship and all his Honorable assistants of Seauingers to sweepe it cleane Gouer. It 's full of vices and great ones too Thar. And thou none of the meanest Gouer. But I le turne all topsie turuie and set vp a new discipline amongst you I le cut of all perisht members Thar. That 's the Surgeons office Gouer. Cast out these rotten stinking carcases for infecting the whole Citie Arg. Rotten they may be but their wenches vse to pepper them and their Surgeons to perboile them and that preserues them from stinking an t please your Honour Gouer. Peace Sirrha peace and yet t is well said too A good pregnant fellow yfaith But to proceede I will spew drunkennesse out ath ' Citie Thar. In to th' Countrie Gouer. Shifters shall cheate and sterue And no man shall doe good but where there is no neede Braggarts shall liue at the head and the tumult that hant Tauernes Asses shall beare good qualities and wise men shall vse them I will whip lecherie out ath ' Citie there shall be no more Cuckolds They that heretofore were errand Cornutos shall now bee honest shop-keepers and iustice shall take place I will hunt ielousie out of my Dominion Thar. Doe heare Brother Gouer. It shall be the only note of loue to the husband to loue the wife And none shall be more kindly welcome to him then he that cuckolds him Thar. Beleeue it a wholsome reformation Gouer. I le haue no more Beggers Fooles shall haue wealth and the learned shall liue by their wits I le haue no more Banckrouts They that owe money shall pay it at their best leisure And the rest shall make a vertue of imprisonment and their wiues shall helpe to pay their debts I le haue all yong widdowes spaded for marrying againe For the old and wither'd they shall be confiscate to vnthriftie Gallants and decai'd Knights If they bee poore they shall bee burnt to make sope ashes or giuen to Surgeons Hall to bee stampt to salue for the French mesells To conclude I will Cart pride out ath ' Towne Arg. An t please your Honour Pride an t be nere so beggarly will looke for a Coch Gouer. Well said a mine Honour A good significant fellow yfaith What is he he talkes much does he follow your Ladiship Arg. No an t please your Honour I goe before her Gouer, A good vndertaking presence A well-promising fore head your Gentleman Vsher Madam Eud. Yours if you please my Lord Gouer. Borne i th' Citie Arg. I an t please your Honour but begot i th' Court Gouer. Tressellegg'd Arg. I an t please your Honour Gouer. The better it beares a bredth makes roome a both sides Might I not see his pace Argus stalkes Arg. Yes an t please your Honour Gouer. T is well t is very well Giue me thy hand Madame I will accept this propertie at your hand and wil weare it thred-bare for your sake Fall in there sirrha And for the matter of Lycus Madam I must tell you you are shallow there 's a State point in 't hearke you The Viceroy has giuen him and wee must vphold correspondence Hee must walke say one man goes wrongfully out ath ' world there are hundreds to one come wrongfully into th' world Eud. Your Lordship will giue me but a word in priuate Thar. Come brother we know you well what meanes this habite why staid you not at Dipolis as you resolu'd to take aduertisement for vs of your wiues bearing Lys. O brother this iealous phrensie has borne mee headlong to ruine Thar. Go to be comforted vncase your selfe and discharge your friend Gouer. Is that Lysander say you And is all his storie true Berladie Madam this iealousie will cost him deare he vndertooke the person of a Souldier and as a Souldier must haue iustice Madam his Altitude in this case can not dispence Lycus this Souldier hath acquited you Thar. And that acquitall I le for him requite the body lost is by this time restor'd to his place Soul It is my Lord Thar. These are State points in which your Lordships time has not yet train'd your Lordship please your Lordships graces Nuptiall we haue now in hand Hylus and Laodice stand together Twixt this yong Ladie and this Gentleman Your Lordship there shall care the ample storie And how the Asse wrapt in a Lyons skin Fearefully rord but his large eares appeard And made him laught at that before was feard Gouer. I le goe with you For my part I am at a non plus Eudora whispers with Cynthia Thar. Come brother Thanke the Countesse shee hath suet to make your peace Sister give me your hand So Brother let your lips compound the strife And thinke you haue the only constant Wife Exeunt FINIS