lump of Ice before the warm Sun By the Sense and Perception I had of the Love of God vouchsafed to such a base and deformed Sinner as God knows I was and still am I felt the Servile and Mercenary Frame and Disposition of my Spirit take Wing and that Filial Child like Frame and Disposition of Spirit which is suited to a Gospel Dispensation Succeed in its Room And looking up to Heaven with the Tears flowing from me so extreamly fast that I heard them drop drop upon drop on the Floor where I stood continuing so long that I sensibly felt my Cheeks to Burn and Scald me My Soul in a strange Extasy running over those Particulars which the Holy Ghost had assured me of Here 's the Second Rapture of Joy What Joy like to this I now feel Who can possibly Relate or express it What! Hath God Elected me even me Sinful and Vile me And hath he done it before time And notwithstanding he perfectly knew what I should prove in time Oh! Wonderful Love Why me Lord Why me And not one of the Reprobates in Hell who never Sinned against thee to that Degree that I have And hath God laid mine Iniquities even all my Iniquities on the Back of Christ and Charged them to his Score as my Surety Oh! Amazing Mistery of Divine Love and Grace Who is able to know whether the Father or the Son Loves me Most The Father in Laying my Sins on his own and only Son tho Innocent and Harmless Or the Son in Condescending to Bear them as his own Sins And are all those Sins of mine Discharg'd and satisfied for by the Active and Passive Obedience of Christ my Surety who hath kept the Law for me Oh! Wonderful Condescention both of Father and Son Is it so as I feel it is That God the Father is fully Satisfi'd with that his Sons Obedience And that I am now Justifi'd in his Sight by the Virtue thereof Oh my Soul What Cause hast thou to Rejoyce and Adore God for ever And was the Love of God set on me Even when in a State of Vnregeneracy Who but a Mercenary Legalist will not be hence Convinced of the Orthodoxy and Soundness of that Distinction Which differenceth between the Person of an Elect Sinner and the Sinful Pravity of Nature which Cleaves to him Surely my Soul If God had really hated thee and had he been Wrath with thee as he is with all the wicked Reprobates who have no share in the Redemption of his Son Even then when thou wast un-called he might have sent thee to Hell Who could have hindred him And were the Reasons wherefore he handled thee so roughly by the Spirit of Bondage as have been discovered by the Holy Ghost And not because he hated thee or any way design'd to satisfy his Vindicative Justice for thy Sins What Cause hast thou to Reflect on and Abhor thy self for all thy hard Thoughts and unbecoming Apprehensions which were lodg'd in thee of God and his Dealing with thee And is it certain as most certainly it is seeing God cannot Lye That I Poor Sinful I shall be made to Persevere and hold out in a State of Grace and continue in Gods Favour for ever Oh! What unspeakable cause hast thou to Adore Love and Praise Jehovah to all Eternity And what little Reason hast thou to be discouraged to think of what the Powers of Darkness can do to hinder thy Perseverance And will the Eye of Divine Providence be on me and the Right Hand of God's Righteousness kept under me to Secure me for ever from finally Miscarrying or Perishing How great Encouragement is this to thee my Soul to have the Eye of Faith and Hope Dependingly fixt on the Faithfulness and Almightiness of God seeing the End and the Means are ever Inseparable And hath God that cannot Lye Promised and Engaged that the very Being of Indwelling Corruption with all the Out-breaking thereof in my Conversation As also the many Afflictions attending the same shall infallibly Work for my Eternal Good What Reason have I to Cry out and say with astonishment of Soul Who is a God like unto thee who Pardonest Iniquity and Passeth by the Trasgression of the Remnant of thine Heritage Who out of Darkness producest Light and out of the greatest Evil canst bring the greatest Good And is it so That notwithstanding the many and great Oppositions and Tribulations I am to meet with in the World I shall through Christ accompanying and strengthening me be brought through them and made a Compleat Conqueror in the End How greatly Zealous ought I to be in Loving and Lauding the True and Living God Father Son and Holy Ghost whose Tremendous and Glorious Name is Infinitely Transcending all Praises which Saints or Angels are Capable of giving And seeing that from henceforth till I come to Heaven the special Providence of God will be with me in every Change of Condition so as nothing shall be able to do me Harm What unspeakable Cause have I to fear with a Reverential Holy and Filial Fear the Glorious Name and Infinite Majesty of the Great God And how unbecoming me for whom God hath done so many and wonderful things will it be to Fear either Devils or Men who set themselves against God and his Sons Interest O my Soul Rejoyce now in God who is become thy Salvation and Fear nothing but what may any way grieve his Holy and Tender Spirit Marvelous and unutterable were those Manifestations of Gods Love let out upon me his poor nothing Creature in that Moment of his Spirits Sealing me in Believing and by the Sense whereof the Holy Ghost fill'd up those Vallys and Bottoms in my Soul and Conscience occasioned by the sharp and terrible Workings of the Spirit of Bondage And as the Manifestations but now Mentioned were in themselves Marvelous and Astonishing so were also the Sensible Effects they Produced in me Wonderful and Ravishing Those Effects I Reduce for Orders sake to Six Heads First The Horrour and Guilt of my Conscience was gon which was Succeeded by the Answer of a good Conscience towards God which did inwardly Suggest and Dictate to me That my State and Condition Godward is truely Safe and most Happy Secondly The Spiritual Vail which Covered my Heart and Mind and which kept me from seeing into the Mistery of the Gospel was taken off like Scales or a Web off the Eyes of a Blind Man Whereon I was enabled to See and Behold who and what Jesus held forth in the Gospel is to me Thirdly The Affrighting Distractions and Overwhelming Hurricanes of my Despairing Soul occasioned by my continual expectation of being sent to Hell were turned into an unexpected and Soul surprizing Calm and Sedate Frame of Spirit Fourthly The Spirit of Slavish Fear which on every occasion Tormented and Rackt me vanisht and the Spirit of Power of Love and of a sound Mind was given me Fifthly The Joy and Comforts of the Holy Ghost
A REVIVING CORDIAL FOR A Sin-sick Despairing SOUL In the Time of TEMPTATION THE Same being an Extract of the unworthy Authors Experience of the Particular following I. The miraculous Preservation of his Bodily Life from the many Deaths and eminent dangers which threatned it while in a state of Nature II. The Method God took with him in awakening him to look into and to mind Soul concerns when about Fourteen Years of Age. III. How the Spirit of Bondage took him and what fearful Work it made in his Soul IV. How the Spirit of Adoption succeeded the Spirit of Bondage healing and binding up the deep Wounds Caused in his Soul thereby Câ—â—â— and hear all ye that fear God and I will declare that he hath done for my Soul Psal 66. 16. I will Praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made marvelous are thy Works and that my Soul knoweth right well Psal 139. 14. By Ja. Barry an unworthy Minister of the Gospel London Printed for the Author 1699. To his very much Respected and highly Honoured Friend Mr. Nicholas Skinner Merchant of London Worthy and Honored Sir THE laudable Character given you by some Ministers of Christ and other good Souls now I Charitably hope and believe Praising God in Glory Especially the experimental tast I my self have had of your goodness since Providence made me so happy in your Acquaintance hath Encouraged me to prefix your worthy and deserving Name to this small Tract whose design and chief tendency is to encourage poor dejected Souls under the hidings of God's Face to cast themselves on that never failing goodnss of God in Christ untill God's set time for Deliverance comes And also to stir up experienced and grown Believers to a becoming Adoration and Praising of that Adorable Name and Wonder working Providence of the Glorious and Tremendous Jehovah which hath so conspicuously appear'd in the Deliverance wrought for me his poor nothing Creature both for Soul and Body and who am to this very Day kept alive and upheld by that Divine Manutenency of his own to the great Admiration both of my self and those godly Souls who know my present Circumstances and Gods dealing with me I have been for several Years past more than ordinarily Importun'd both by godly Divines and such Zealous working Christians as your self to Publish what now I have presumed to Dedicate to so dear and well deserving a Friend as you are well known to be both to God's Truth and such as in any measure bear the Blessed Image of his Son The principal Motive of their importuning me to Publish this was the strange Influence the Relation hereof from my own Mouth had upon their own Spirits the effects whereof they were not able to hide the Tears of Joy gushing out surprizingly from their Eyes with both Eyes and Hands lifted up to Heaven wondering at and Adoreing the Wonders of God in my Case Professing and declaring that in all their time they had neither heard nor known so much of the goodness and Grace of God vouchsased to a poor lost and undon sinner as was shewn and vouchsafed to unworthy me Which occasioned several of the godly Ministers especially Mr. Noah Bryan Mr. Timothy Taylor Mr. Samuel Mather and the dear Mr. Nathaniel Mather all now with Christ to profess that they never heard of or knew any Sinner come so near to Paul as touching God's method and way of Working upon and dealing with him in and after his Conversion as I did And therefore they unanimously agreed in Judging that to Publish the same was my Duty The which they doubted not would be greatly useful and that both to Saints and Sinners on sundry accounts The sincere and upright Hearted Nathaniel Mather late of Pinners-Hall hath several times chid me for my backwardness to so necessary and useful a Work and a little before his Death he at me again about it examining into the Grounds of my backwardness herein To whom I reply'd Sir There are two things which hitherto have kept me back from Publishing this my experience and how much of Satan there may be in it I cannot determin The First is The difficulty which attends my setting down in Writing the working of the Spirit of Adoption in doscovering and applying Christ unto me the Remembrance whereof doth so swallow me up and melt me that I am not able to see my Paper for the Tears of Joy which obstruct my Visive Faculty To which he Reply'd that it was pitty any thing should hinder me in so good and useful a Work The Second is the fear Lodg'd within me of Peoples not Crediting the Relation I shall give hereof in case it were Printed For said I the greatest part of Professors are so great strangers to the nature of true Regeneration especially when wrought in a Sinner in the way and method God took with me that they will rather suspect and question the truth of what I relate than Praise God or improve the same for their own good or Spiritual advantage for the same To which Reply was made That Satan was always ready to obstruct any good Work which hath the least tendency to God's Praise or the good of Souls Since his departure the fresh Remembrance of the Importunities of the Worthies above Named together with the repeated Solicitations of several godly zealous Christians yet living have prevailed with me to beat my way through those Difficulties which lay before me leaving the Issue of my present undertaking to the powerful Providence of God to make the same successful in what it is designed for And begging most heartily your Pardon for the method I have taken in acknowledging the great Kindness and Respect shewen by your Religious and truly Generous self to the meanest and most unworthy of Christ's Dispised Ambassadours the which I doubt not you will find Recorded in Heaven by my Lord and Master as an evident proof of your Faith in and unfeigned Love to Him and his Cause and Interest here on Earth Let not Dear Sir the disadvantages under which I lye on account of the slanderous Reproaches heaped on me by malicious Spirits lessen your hope of the glorious Recompence of Reward promised by him that cannot lye to all your Works and Labours of Love exprest to me and others of Gods Children for the Sake of Christ He that will take notice of a cup of Cold Water given to a Disciple in the Name of his Disciple will I question not Record in Heaven the refreshing Wine I have drank at your Table more than once and the Silver and Gold sent me and given me by your self whereby both I and my distressed Family have been kept from sinking into the Dust And albeit I should at the great day of Judgment appear to be a Cast away from Christ of which through Infinite Grace I am no more afraid than I am afraid that God can cease to be what he is Yet your Integrity and Uprightness in what you
Achilles I am uncertain but in this of the Wounding and Healing of my Soul I am not more certain of any thing in Nature than I am that the Spirit of Christ which Wounded me by the Law did also Heal me by the Gospel Job 5. 18. For he maketh Sore and Bindeth up He Woundeth and his Hands make whole OBSERVATION IV. See and Learn hence How stedfast and faithful God is to his Word of Promise When for Christ and the Gospel was forsaken and cast off by my Father and all other Fleshly Relations being turn'd out empty handed to the wide World and not knowing whether to go or what to do God took care of me and provided a Lodging and Friends for me which with the Peace of my Conscience gave me more satisfaction and comfortable content than all the Gallantry and Greatness of my Fleshly Relations Those sweet Promises Recorded in the Scriptures and made good by the Providence of God have oftentimes Refreshed and Ravish'd my pensive and weary Soul Psal 27. 10. When my Father and my Mother forsake me then the Lord will take me up Mat. 19 29. And every one that hath forsaken Houses or Brethren or Sisters or Father or Mother or Wife or Children or Lands for my Name 's sake shall Receive an Hundred fold and shall Inherit Everlasting Life Heb. 13. 5. Let your Conversation be without Covetousness and be content with such things as ye have For he hath said I will never never never never never leave thee nor forsake thee The Greek hath no less than five Negatives in this one Scripture to assure the true Believer that God will in no wise forget or forsake him I have been forsaken of my Nurse when but three Months old but I was taken into the Nursery of God's Providential Care which causes in me often to think with Comfort of that in Psal 22. 10. I was cast upon thee from the Womb thou art my God from my Mothers Belly The same Providence which took Care of the Head takes Care also of the Members I was forsaken of my Bodily Physitians But the Great Physitian of Soul and Body Cur'd me by poor Contemptible Snails I was forsaken of my Earthly Father and all Fleshly Relations But God is become by Grace and Free Adoption my Father who will never forske me Totally or Finally I was forsaken by my Brethren and Sisters But those who are the Sons and Daughters of God they are become my Brethren and Sisters And albeit many of them who know me not are on Malicious Reports prejudiced against me yet others of them who know me and Gods dealing with me they Love me dearly I have been forsaken by several of my Church Members in Ireland and England Christ my Lord and Master hath been so before me Jo. 6. 66. From that time many of his Disciples went back and walked no more with him Yet God is my God still I have been forsaken of My Brethren in the Sacred Office and left to stand alone when Popery and Quakerism were coming in like a Floud None stepping in to help or Encourage me against those Adversaries of Gods Religion But he that stood by Paul when all other Preachers in his day forsook him stood by me and emboldned me against their Threats and Malice I had Thoughts of Printing the most material Objections brought in by Satan to distress and distract a poor Sinner to keep him from Christ And how the Spirit of Grace Taught and Enabled me to Answer them all But my intended Brevity hath Prevented me therein All Glory Honour and Eternal Praise to the only Wise and Glorious God Father Son and Holy Ghost Amen Amen Postscript LEst Satan should get an Advantage by this Relation of God's strange and wonderful dealing with me in bringing me Home to Christ in such an unusual manner and his Handling me so sharply by the Spirit of Bondage As also his Bountiful dealing with me in making my Soul the Receptacle of such Ravishing Joy and unutterable Consolation upon Believing in Christ in Effectual Calling I thought it may be seasonable to give the present Caution to the Poor Doubting Tempted Believer who through Satans Subtilty Tempting will find him or her self wretchedly Prone to Conclude from what they read of my Conversion That the Work of true Conversion was never yet effectually wrought in themselves And that because they were never under such Terrible Bondage of Soul Neither ever yet were lifted up so near Heaven as I was Such Poor Tempted Believers are to consider the Particulars following for their help and relief against the Tempter in this Case First Consider That as in Nature there is a vast disparity or difference between Persons in the Natural Birth so there is as vast a difference in the Spiritual Birth Some Women go through abundantly more and sharper Pains and Throws in Travel than others meet with Some Babes meet with greater difficulties and dangers in the Birth than do others The causes whereof in Nature tho they appear not to us yet it is most certain that so it is So in Conversion some Souls pass through greater Horror and Bondage in the Consciences than others do Some are brought as it were through the very Jaws of Hell and desparation as I was others are dealt more easily and gently with Being sweetly allured and as it were insensibly Transplanted into Christ they not well knowing what is done to them Paul and the rugged Jaylor were handled more roughly their Conscience were more deeply Wounded with the frightning Terrors of God's Law set Home by the Spirit of Bondage than Lydia whose Heart the Lord opened with more gentle Touches of his Spirit Acts 9. 6. Acts 16. 15 29. That Woman who is safely Delivered without any danger or great difficulty to herself or her Babe hath no reason to question whether she be indeed Delivered because she went not through such danger and difficulty as her Neighbour did who narrowly escaped with her Life neither hath she any Cause of being Jealous with her Neighbour because her case or condition was more dangerous and desperate in Travel than was her own Thou who art brought to Christ by the gentle Drawings of the spirit of Grace and not brought so nigh to the affrightning sight of Hell And to such a Sense and feeling of the Pains of the Damned As have caused some to think themselves actually in Hell Admire at and Bless God for his Condescention towards thee in bringing thee through the New Birth so easily Secondly Consider That albeit the truth of thy Conversion be not so sensibly discern'd as the Conversion of that Person is who is brought Home in the way of Legal Terror Yet thou art bound to Bless God for the smallest measure of Grace bestowed on thee as the smallest Spark of Fire tho' it be hid under a great heap of Ashes is as truly Fire as the greatest Fire in Nature So thy small Grace which in comparison of some others Grace may be so weak and little that it can scarcely be discerned yet Grace it is tho' thou know it not to be so And he who bestowed it on thee and wrought it in thee he will never reject or neglect thee because of thy little Grace while he sees thee Constant and Diligent in the use of means Labouring to grow in Grace Esa 42. 3. Mat. 5. 6. Esa 41. 17. Phil. 1. 6. Oh! But I do not find that I am brought to Christ and which is far worse I fear I never shall To this I Answer in Two Particulars First Thy very fear about this greatest of Concerns is an Argument of thy Translation from the First Adam to the Second Adam Christ Jesus the Lord. If the Spirit of Grace had not given thee some Sight and Taste of the Excellency and Sweetness of Christ thou couldest never prize or desire after him 'T is only the Child that hath Tasted the Hony or Sugar that Longs and Crys for more Secondly If thou findest a fixt Resolution in thy Soul in going on to seek the Lord. And his Strength by Prayer and Supplication and other means of Grace not resting in or depending upon them but on Christ alone for Life and Salvation My Life for thine come Death when God Pleaseth to send it it will end all thy fears and put thee beyond the reach of all thine Enemies Thy frequent Crying to God in Prayer for Christ and Saving Grace is the Eccho of Christ Praying for thea at the Throne of Grace And thy going on and continuing to Watch at Wisdoms Gates could not possibly be without invisible Supplies of Spiritual Strength Communicated to thy Soul by the Spirit of Christ THE END