not bee without love But ah wretch that I am I finde mine affection is weak toward God strong to vanity Those wee love do wee not love to bee present with them If they bee absent do wee not think long till they return again Are wee not grieved to hear them wronged by word or deed whom wee esteem dearly of are wee not desirous to give them content doth it not cut us if wee do them any harm Are wee not with them in thought though absent in body glad of a letter that comes from them is not the messenger welcome that can bring us tidings of their welfare But I finde little joy in coming publickly or privately into Gods house or presence I think little of him and that but overly I speak little to him and that not without weariness and distraction Nay I am like those children who can play abroad all the day long and never care to look unto their Parents When did my heart long to return home and to bee with Christ Though God through sundry troubles do even smoak mee out of this world yet I will not come away in mine affection When I see Gods name blasphemed and all wickedness committed do mine eyes gush out with tears or do not I offend daily and pass it over taking too light penance of my self It is irksome to mee to do his will I do not long for his presence nor bewail his absence I do not study to please him in all things nor can I rejoyce in the prosperity of his Saints when I my self am in misery and distress I cannot prize his favour am not cheared with his promises do not delight in his statutes above all things His Word is his Letter sent unto mee but I am not glad and diligent with care and conscience to read it vanity hath stollen away my heart and the transitory bewitching pleasures of the world which cannot profit have taken up my thoughts This hath been mine impudent behaviour against thee my God which I cannot with any words of indignation sufficiently discover If a woman should bee dead in the nest when her husband were before her but should bee affectionate to every stranger if shee should not care how long shee were absent from him but think her self best while they were asunder if shee cared little how her loving husband were offended casting that at her heels which hee takes to heart were not this shameless behaviour in her And shall I not bee ashamed to shew no more love to thee to whom my soul is married in Christ Oh my soul what canst thou finde in the world why thou dost affect it it hath bred much vexation and sorrow thou hast been crossed and molested with it the more thou lovest it the greater trouble discontentment thou findest therein and wilt thou still take pleasure in thy pain what canst thou not finde in God and that above all thought and conceit why thou shouldest intirely cleave unto him what occasion couldest thou finde at any time to draw thy affection from him wilt thou leave the fatness and marrow that is in the house of God to feed upon the refuse and scraps that this world affords Ah wretch that I am who shall deliver mee from this bondage of sin I am full of uncharitable and false love I can love my self I have affection enough to the things of this world to the gifts of God and those the meanest more than to the giver as harlots to rings gold bracelets more than to the sender But I have not power to raise my soul to the love of God in Christ here my affections lye dead and will not mount aloft Oh that the love of God did possess my reins in such sort that in thought I might bee still with him rejoyce in his presence and walk before him in dutiful obedience Oh that my heart did burn with love that is strong as death hot as coals of Juniper that hath a vehement flame that no waters can quench no floods can drown no allurements can draw aside Why art thou so dead Oh my soul why dost thou not lift up thy self to the love of God whom hast thou in Heaven but him and who in earth is to bee desired in comparison of him for whom dost thou reserve thy prime affection for the world sin vanity Oh adulteress knowest thou not that the amity of the world is enmity with God thou hast gone astray and deeply defiled thy self with the love of sin return now unto the Lord and embrace him with most intire and dear affection what thou hast bestowed upon the world pleasure lusts carnal delights to thy great discomfort now set it wholly upon things above that it may finde rest and comfort Oh Lord I beseech thee who art only able to purge my heart of all filthy prophane love and to fill it with the pure love of thy holy Majesty this is thy promise I will circumcise your hearts and make you love mee with all your hearts therefore I am bold to make this prayer and will confidently wait upon thee for this mercy Quest How should a man proceed to meditate on the Fall of our first Parents Answ Hee must consider the subject causes and end of that act aimed at but not obtained the degrees properties and effects of it By the Fall of our first Parents wee understand the first sin of Adam and Eve whereby they transgressed the Commandement of God in eating the forbidden fruit this is fitly so called because as an heavy body falling upon some hard and sharp rock is greatly bruised and hurt so man after hee had received so many and great gifts from God sinning wickedly against his express charge and commandement did grievously wound himself The subject of this transgression was our first Parents Adam and Eve made after the Image of God perfect in stature of body and strength of mind enriched with excellent prerogatives of liberty and dominion planted in a garden of delights that they might dress it and keep it favoured of God and admitted into near fellowship with him The principal outward cause of mans disobedience was Satan the Prince of darkness that old murtherer who being fallen from God and shut up under condemnation did with incredible fury and malice seek the dishonour of God and the destruction of mankind This envious one spying his opportunity set upon the woman as the fitter to be made his prey when shee was alone and by his subtilty beguiled her The Serpent the most subtil of beasts which the Lord had made was the instrument that hee used to seduce the woman and the woman her self being first in the transgression was made the willing instrument of her husbands destruction The quality of the fruit as it was good for meat and pleasant to the eye was by accident a cause that moved them to eat which yet they might and ought to have forborn having liberty to eat of all the trees
of the mind bee not diminished Although for want of proof wee count all afflictions hard yet when wee have experience of the fruit and benefit that comes by them confidence in God will make them easie if our cause bee good Wee shall never want somewhat to exercise us sin or trouble we shall have neither is it unprofitable for us to the end wee may bee ever in the combate for our life is a warfare Fifthly Wee seldome keep unlawful commodities or rejoyce too much in lawful but the Lord doth cross us in them The things of this world are too sweet and pleasant to our corrupt taste but the Lord doth season them with bitterness vain liberties breed much sorrow and unchearfulness Sixthly The most vexations in our life become annoyances unto us through our own fault in that wee either prevent them not when wee may or bear them not as wee ought or make not use of them as wee might do Seventhly When matters of more importance than our salvation come into place let us bee occupied with more fervency in them than in that but not before Prov. 3.14 The practice of godliness is a rich and gainful trade but if it bee not well followed it will bring no great profit Eighthly To have a willing mind to bee well occupied and matter about which wee may and time to bestow therein and freedome from lets therefrom is an estate to bee much made of and yet for the most part they which have most outward incouragements cannot tell what to do with them Ninthly Whatsoever measure of graces wee have gotten yet it is certain that God hath much more than wee can think of if those bee the matters which we have in greatest price but being set light by and the means neglected which preserve them they dye That is a good state when wee have not onely joy in heavenly things at the first hearing of them but increasing in joy as our knowledge and experience increaseth and when wee are not onely delighted in the present duties of Gods service but also as joyful to think of them that are to come accounting that the more they bee the better they are The flesh is apt to take the smallest occasions that may bee to favour it self but our study must bee to increase in goodness and to delight more in walking with God in a Christian course Tenthly Love of the world makes death terrible and surfetting in pleasure lulleth us asleep Seeing it pleaseth the Lord to let us know that wee have this precious liberty all the day long to bee with him to enjoy his presence by Faith and solace our selves in bold affiance in him and that for all good things and to bee free from the fear terrour and anguish which haunteth the ungodly It were pity wee should for some deceivable folly deprive our selves of such happiness and peace as hee alloweth us even here to be partakers of Eleventhly The more sure thou art of Gods favour by Faith Mat. 15.27 the more humble thou art also One special point of profiting is to know our own vileness and misery better daily that so wee may come to know the inestimable bounty of God the better and what wee are beholding to him for as receiving increase from him multiplied pardons of sin and daily increase of grace Twelfthly They are worthy of great punishment who set light by the plenty of grace the crumms whereof Gods hungry servants do set great store by Look what care conscience zeal love and reverent estimation of good things thou hadst when first thou embracedst the Gospel the same at least retain and bee sure thou keepest still afterwards The more knowledge that thou hast take heed thou beest not more secure for thus it is with many at this day who therefore do smart for it wee shall not injoy the grace we had at first except wee bee as careful now to keep it as wee were then to come by it Thirteenthly When wee are afflicted and the wicked spared our estate seems to them most vile when wee are both in prosperity they seem more happy when they and wee bee both afflicted then they account our estate happier than their own but especially when they bee afflicted Exod. 14.25 and wee spared Wee may not assign the Lord in what place and state in what condition and company we should live but as strangers wait on him even as the handmaid on her Mistress for whatsoever hee will allow us wee are ready most commonly to bee called away by death before wee have learned how to live Fourteenthly Keep down carnal liberty and the spiritual liberty shall bee great rest on God and it shall make thee overcome the hardest things If thou wilt finde Christ sweet thou must ever finde sin bitter Fear ever to offend God and thou a Psal 32.7 91.11 needest not to fear any other peril No good thing abideth long with us in its strength and beauty without new quickning When wee feel any weariness in a godly course by what occasions or weighty dealings soever it bee the Devil hath met with us therefore wee must speedily take shame and sorrow and turn unto the Lord. Fifteenthly Wee must remember to serve and walk with God Psa 90.12 by daies not by weeks and months onely A great difference there is betwixt the observing and viewing of our life from day to day and the doing of it by fits now and then in the one wee are safe chearful and fruitful in the other rash offensive and often unquiet for it walking in fear and with little comfort Sixteenthly As husbandmen wait for their fruit so should wee for that which wee pray and hope for and that would make us joyful when wee obtain it If a man can rejoyce at the conversion of a sinner Luke 15.6 then is hee the friend of Christ Seventeenthly It is a folly yea a madness to bee heavy to the death for any earthly thing when yet a man desireth nothing more than life They who can neglect and set meanly by a little vain glory and credit with men may gain and injoy much peace with God All our life ought to bee a providing for a good end and a keeping away of woe which cometh by sin fear not the pain of death for God can make it easie or tollerable Eighteenthly The flesh would fain please it self in some unlawful liberty when we have pleased God in some duties but a wise man will keep him well while hee is well Nineteenthly Where there is wilfulness in sinning there is great difficulty in relenting and also no power nor boldness in beleeving many beginning well in godliness have fainted and quailed or been justly reproached before their end that others may the more fear their own weakness where new knowledge is not sought there is the less savour in the old and when men make not good use of the old the seeking of the new is
in the garden besides and being strictly charged upon pain of death not to taste of it The just and good Law of God was a blameless occasion of mans sin as it did forbid an act in it self indifferent that it could not bee done without sin The Law and Sin as well as the Law and Obedience work together though in a distinct manner for of Obedience the Law is a principal cause but of sin an accidental as working besides his own scope and main drift which is to savour nothing but life and also as a contrary to sin The Lord in his wise providence did work in the fall of man as the Law by accident was occasion of it but hee is not the author of his sin hee did not constrain him to offend not withhold from him any grace that by Covenant or otherwise hee was bound to give him The principal inward cause of this transgression was the will of man freely turning from the Commandement of God which hee might and ought to have obeyed but would not and willingly hearkening to the suggestion of Satan which hee should have resisted but did not The sin of man was the eating of the forbidden fruit not absolutely considered in it self but in respect of the Commandement and charge whereby God had severely forbidden the tasting of the fruit of that tree and had threatned punishment to them that should transgress In evil actions no end can properly bee assigned for the end is of a good thing and to be desired But Satan in that temptation aimed at the dishonour of God and the damnation of Man Man being deceived by the old Serpent proposed this end to himself but obtained it not that hee might satisfie his superiour affection to the Image of God and his inferiour to the fruit of the tree The Lord who bringeth light out of darkness out of his infinite wisdome did order this evil to the setting forth of his mercy and justice and the utter confusion of Satan contrary to his purpose and intendment In this their disobedience wee may observe these degrees The impression of the suggestion obscuration of their thoughts concerning the excellency of God forgetfulness of what was done before and what God commanded doubting of the truth of God tickling of ambition whereby the woman affected great power dignity credit to the flatteries and allurements of Satan and familiarity with him and inclination of will to the forbidden fruit First This was the first sin committed by man in it self most hainous the fountain of all other evils both of sin and punishment Many things do shew the greatness of this sin 1 It was the transgression of that precept which God had given for the trial of mans obedience and so was an absolute denial of subjection and renouncing of obedience As the performance of it had been an open profession of submission and due obedience It was not a breach of some particular Commandement but an universal denial of all the branches of obedience 2 It was intollerable that man being inriched with so many graces priviledges and blessings should presently forget God being so much indebted and bound unto him in love for his inestimable favours 3 Amongst so many trees in the Garden it was easie for man to forbear the pursute of one and being made after the Image of God hee might have resisted the temptation of Satan Wherefore to suffer himself to bee drawn away in that manner was an hainous offence 4 This sin was committed in Paradise where the tree of life stood in their sight and God had manifested himself unto them familiarly In respect of God the Law the Offender this sin was hateful and notorious Secondly This sin was not the proper sin of our first Parents but the common sin of all their posterity who were in their loins when they did offend and afterwards by natural propagation descended from them for they did represent all mankind which was propagated from them as the root Thirdly The effects of this sin stayed not in the first authors of it but spread and stretched themselves over all mankind For if they whose Parents are infected with any disease their children do possess it by inheritance how is it possible that our first Parents being deprived of the Image of God wee their posterity should spring of them perfect and without maim For the beginnings of all things are all that in power which doth spring from those beginnings for the virtue that is in the beginnings is communicated to the things which receive beginning from them Like egg like bird what is in the root will bee in the branches and the vice or fault that is in the beginning is common to the thing begun The punishment of this sin doth degenerate into sin As the want of holiness and proneness to evil is not only a judgement inflicted for sin but it is sin and the cause of sin One sin begets another and the second is an effect of the former both properly and accidentally The effects of this first sin are bitterness it self to wit in respect of mankind in general wrath blame guilt deprivation of Gods Image corruption of nature spiritual bondage subjection to death temporal and eternal God is offended in that his Commandement is despised to the derogation of his soveraignty sin is vile and naught deserving blame man is guilty and tied to punishment whence issueth griping of conscience fear of the angry Judge and dread of punishment The loss of original Justice followed the act of sin in whose room succeeded corruption of the whole man in every power and faculty Thus the liberty of man was turned into miserable servitude and hee became bondslave to sin-revenging justice as his principal Lord to the Devil and his Angels and to the power of his accusing and condemning conscience as the Lords Ministers Moreover the natural man hath no spiritual liberty to do any thing spiritually good as hee did before sin entred but is led as a slave by lusts by passions by objects which please him So that hee is in a brutish bondage And death entred into the world by sin Rom. 5.12 and is gone over all men for as much as all men have sinned In respect of Adam and Eve the effects are common to both or particular to either 1 The common are sense of nakedness shame fear of the angry Judge slight and desire to hide themselves from the presence of the Lord ejection out of Paradise into the cursed Earth and stopping the way that they might not enter to eat of the tree of life 2 The particular effects in respect of Adam are that the Earth is accursed to bring forth briars and thorns that he should till the ground in labour and eat his bread in the sweat of his brows till hee return unto the dust The woman was sentenced to conceive and bring forth in forrow and to bee in painful subjection to her husband Satan intended the dishonour