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cause_n faith_n good_a love_n 2,550 5 5.7551 4 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A27945 The Batchellors banquet, or, A banquet for batchellors wherein is prepared sundry dainty dishes to furnish their tables curiously drest and seriously served in : [p]leasantly discoursing the variable humours of women, their quickness of wits and unsearchable deceits. 1677 (1677) Wing B259; ESTC R25901 61,402 71

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I muse what you mean to use me thus I know not how to live with you Then she replies saying Now God for his mercy and I so troublesome Got wot I am every day poor soul troubled with keeping the hogs your Geese your chickens I must card I must spin and continually keep the house look to the servants and never fit still but toyling up and down to shorten my days and make me dye before my time and yet I cannot have one hours rest or quietness with you but you are always brawling and do nothing your self but spend and waste your goods and mine with odde companions What odde companions saith he as though you know not that these are such men as can either much further or much hinder me It is a signe that you deal very well that you must stand in distress of such persons Hereupon she takes occasion to rail and scold all the day long the man being wearied with her wawardness and age being hasted with grief and sorrow doth unawares overtake him Briefly he is in every respect wretched but such is his folly that he reckons his pains pleasure and would not though he might be again at liberty out of Lobs pound or if he would it is now too late for he must of force continue there in care thought and misery till death make an end of him and them together CHAP. VII The humour of a covetous minded Woman THe next humour belonging to a woman is when the Husband is matched to a modest civil woman who is nothing given to that thwarting and crossing humour whereof I spake before But be she good or bad this is a general rule many wives hold and stedfastly believe that their own Husbands are worst of all others It oft happens that when they match together they are both young and entertain each other with mutual delights so much as may be for a year or two or longer till the vigour of youth grow cold But the woman droops not so soon as the man the reason whereof is because she takes no care thought nor grief breaks not her sleep and troubles not her head as he doth but doth wholly addict her thoughts to pleasure and solace I deny not that when a woman is with child she bides many times great pains and is often very ill at ease and at the time of her deliverance she is for the most part not onely in exceeding pain but also in no less danger of death But all this is nothing to the husbands troubles on whose hands alone doth rest the whole charge and weight of maintaining the house and dispatching all matters which is oftentimes intangled so with controversies and so thwarted with cross fortune that the poor man is tormented with all vexations of mind Being thus wearyed and as it were worn away with continual grief troublous cogitations toyl and travel he hath no mind on any other pleasure whereas she on the other side is as lusty as ever she was mean while his stock decays and his state grows worse and worse and as that diminisheth so he must perforce shorten her allowance and maintenance which is almost as great a Corrosive to her as the former You may be well assured that this change in him makes her also change her countenance from mirth and cheerfulness to lowring melancholy seeking occasions of disagreements and use them in such sort that their former love and kindness was not so great as are now their brawls jars and discords It doth also oftentimes happen that the Woman by this means wasis and consumes all giving lewdly away her husbands goods which he with great pains and cares hath gotten The good man he goes every way as near as he can and wearily contains himself within his bounds casting up what his yearly revenues are or what his gains is by his profession be it merchandise or other and then what his expences be which he finding greater then his comings in begins to bite the lip and becomes very pensive his wife and he being afterwards private together in their chamber he speaks thereof unto her in this manner In faith wife I much marvel how it comes to pass that our goods go away thus I know not how I am sure I am as carefull as man can be I cannot find in my heart to bestow a new cloak on my self and all to save money By my troth Husband saith she I do as much marvel at it as you I am sure for mine own part that I go as near in house-keeping every day as I can To be short the poor man not doubting his wife nor suspecting her ill carriage after long care and thought concludes that the cause thereof is his own ill fortune which keeps him down and crosseth all his actions with contrary successe but it may be that in processe of time some friend of his being more clear fighted in the matter perceiving all goes not will doth privily inform him thereof who being astonished at his report gets him home with a beavy countenance which the wife seeing and knowing her self guilty begins presently to doubt the worst and perhaps ghesseth shrewdly at the author thereof but howsoever she will take such an order that she will be sure to escape the brunt well enough The good man will not presently make any words hereof unto her but defer it a while and try in the mean time whether he can of himselfe gather any further likelihood for which purpose he will tell her that he must needs ride some ten or twelve miles out of Town about some earnest businesse Good faith husband saith she I had rather you would send your man and stay at home your self Not so wife saith he but I will be at home again my self within these three or four days Having told her this tale he makes as though he took his journey but doth privily lie in ambush in such a place where he may know whatsoever is done in the house But she smelling his drift sends word to her sweet-heart that he doe not come in any case and all the time of his desembled absence she carries her self so that it gives no likelihood of suspition which the silly man seeing comes out of his ambush enters his house making as if then he were returned from his journey And whereas before he lowred now shews a cheerful countenance being verily perswaded that his friends report is a meer lye and that he thinks so much the rather because she doth at his coming run to meet him with such a shew of love and doth so imbrace and kisse him that it seems impossible so kind a creature should play false But long after being in bed together he thus speaks to her Wife I have heard reported certain words that like me not Good faith husband saith she I know not what is the cause thereof I have noted this great while that you have bin very pensive was afraid that you had