is plain that the Immorality of Murther does not consist in meer killing for then every Executioner or Soldier would be guilty of Murther but it is the evil malicious intention of the mind that is all in all Now if Mr. Subtleman bear no malice to his Father but does that Work in a spirit of Love and Charity for the good of the Catholick Cause there can be no evil in it provided he gives all the Estate that accrues thereby to the Church to shew that therein he was not acted by a spirit of Covetousness Subt. What an unconscionable Fellow is this Could not one half serve his turn Aside 2 Cas My Brother speaks well but I must add this That as to kill a man yea a Parent with a charitable intention is certainly lawful so to kill an Heretick an inveterate obstinate Heretick is more than lawful it is highly meritorious They are condemn'd by the Laws Ecclesiastical and Civil and any man may be their Executioner 3 Cas What my Reverend Brethren have said in this Case is undoubtedly true but for the Gentleman's satisfaction I will prove the lawfulness of the Fact by an infallible Demonstration Suppose it thus Young Mr. Subtleman takes up an Hammer and knocks out the Brains of his aged Parent Quaere If this Action be in it self unlawful I answer No For if there be no unlawfulness in any part of this Action then there is none in the whole But there is no unlawfulness either in taking up the Hammer or lifting the Hammer or letting down the Hammer Ergo There is none in knocking out the old man's Brains Subt. This fellow is more Dunce than Villain Big But what say you to the point Brother Cautious Cau. Why look ye Brethren ye have left me little to say but only this If there be any evil in such a Murther it consists in the Injury that is done to the murdered person and an Injury is some part of Injustice done to man against his will Volenti non fit injuria If therefore there could be a way found to send the Gentleman into another world with his own consent there could be no scruple in it 1 Cas Then the best way is to knock out 's Brains with 100l Bag. If he be a truly covetous man he can never think that money can do him any harm 2 Cas Or pour down his Throat a spoonful of melted Gold when he sleeps with his mouth open 3 Cas Or dispatch him with a good Dose of Quicksilver he must needs have a veneration for That it is the Mother of Gold and all other Metals Subt. What a pleasant Story this will be to tell the old man Aside Enter Sir George from the Closet with two Papers in his hand They all start and are amaz'd Sir Geo. Gentlemen I understand that I am a dying man and therefore I beseech ye all to be witnesses to my last Will and Testament Subt. My Father what cursed luck brought him hither If he o'r-heard our discourse he will think that I was in earnest Aside Sir Geo. Come pray Gentlemen be Witnesses to my Will 't is soon done and human life is uncertain Subt. My honoured Father what good Genius brought you hither Sir Geo. O thou best of Sons I am glad to see thee in so good company Goes to salute them they are sneaking away Nay pray Gentlemen stay I have strange presages of my Death and fear it will be sudden I have given 40s to my only Son So much Vertue should not go unrewarded The rest of my Estate shall be given to my virtuous Niece Leucasia Pray stay and seal presently for I have a great many Money-bags and do often sleep with my mouth open 1 Cas Sir we cannot stay 2 Cas Sir you must excuse us we have business 3 Cas Here are witnesses enough beside us Farewell Exeunt Bigot is going out but is stopt by Sir Geo. Sir Geo. Nay Sir you shall stay and be witness with my Son to a Bond. A Candle here A Candle brought the Bond seal'd and given to Cautious Subt. But pray Sir hear me Sir Geo. Good Son avoid impertinencies What needst thou speak when the thing is done Subt. But one word Sir Geo. There is never a word in the world that can make to thy purpose I heard enough Subt. But Sir you are mistaken in me Sir Geo. But Son you are mistaken in me I know how to keep out of your Clutches Subt. But by all that 's good and sacred Sir Geo. That is by just nothing How canst thou think any thing good or sacred that couldst design and contrive the Death of a Parent Subt. You cannot think so Sir Geo. Yes Son I can must and will think so Big But pray Sir consider his motive was Zeal pure flaming Zeal I say you should excuse it Cau. Mr. Subtleman I am sorry for your misfortune but cannot relieve you Sir Geo. I wish you much joy of living by your Wits Exeunt all but young Subt. Cau. drops a Paper Subt. Hell Death and Confusion What a damn'd Praemunire have these Rogues Priests and Casuists brought me into I am betray'd else it is impossible my Father should be in Leucasia's Closet But the Traytor I know not But stay here 's a Paper I 'll read it Takes up the Paper and reads The Condition of this Obligation is such That if the above-bounden Sir George Subtleman Knight and Baronet do pay or cause to be paid to Robert Cautious c. the Sum of 1000l in consideration of the discovery of his Son's Villany c. Then this Obligation c. So then 't is out The revengeful covetous Dog Cautious has done me this Injury tho contrary to his Oath But by heavens I shall make him and his Punk in man's Cloaths pay dearly for it And yet it is no wonder for He that a Secret to a Priest does trust Or is so foolish as to hope him Just May he become Partaker of my Fate And see his Error when it is too late Exit ACT. IV. SCEN. I. Enter Cautious Jon. Simper crying and Servant to Leucasia Cau. to Serv. IF your Lady be at leisure present her with this Paper from her Unkle Sir George Subtleman and tell her I have a farther message by word of mouth Serv. My Lady will wait upon you presently Exit Cau. Nay it is vain to cry for part we must Young Subtleman knows your Sex and will divulge that secret as confidently as Grubstreet-News and as speedily as a false Alarm Jon. And can you be so cruel as to thrust me from you who have been so faithful Did you not often tell me That simple Fornication was no Sin and sometimes a Duty Did not you cite many of your most famous Authors to prove that it was an Act of Charity pure and flaming Charity to relieve the natural Necessities of a languishing Brother excluded from the Joys of Matrimony Did you not make me believe all this else I
whether Custom has made that Yoke to be easie or whether that servile disposition is deriv'd from Father to Son by some unperceivable manner of Tradition the Cause is uncertain but the Effect is plain But to think English-men to be easily kept in subjection because foreigners can is as good Logick as to conclude a Lion dares not fight because a Sheep is a timorous Creature Pol. I perceive your Lordship is not skill'd in the Politicks I can give you several reasons why there is no danger in the dreaded number of the Hereticks For first they want an Head and what alas is Body without an Head There 's one for you L. Britt Your Argument is Metaphorical but not conclusive It is true these popular Insurrections that are rais'd by the Power or Interest of one particular Man are soon quell'd when the Head is once remov'd for the Cause taken away the Effect ceases But where the cause of discontent is general an Head is never wanting for many hands make light work Pol. Then again ' The Hereticks want Councel and Conduct Alas all their Great Men are bred in the English Court and know nothing of the French and Italian Finesses There are no men in the world excepting those of my Order that understand the true Methods and Principles of Government Alas your English Lords are troubled with scruples of Conscience and pretend to tenderness and good nature and think themselves always oblig'd to stick to the immutable Rules of Honour and talk of Just and Unjust and I know not what whimseys They don't consider that it is impossible for a States-man to accomplish any great Designs that boggles at any sort of means that are conducing to his End tho never so unjust and cruel L. Britt I wish you do not find those Lords which you so much despise to be Masters of more Policy than is consistent with the good of the Catholick Cause Pol. Pshaw Pshaw never fear it When all 's done we have an Army to defend us L. Britt An Army sympathizes with the major part of the Nation out of which they are taken and what raises Jealousies in the One is sure to raise Discontents in the Other Heaven send we may never stand in need of that Pol. Pshaw pshaw your Lordship is too timorous L. Britt angry No man but what 's defended by a Gown dares tell me so Once more farewell And when you see all England in a flame your selves pursued to the water-side and offering all your Treasure for a Boat when Catholicks are driven from their Houses and made the Object of a publick scorn remember then I had no hand in this Pol. And when you see the Triumphs of our Cause all bending low unto the See of Rome the Hereticks or forced to comply or roving up and down the world for Bread but finding none when this you live to see remember well that mine is the contrivance 't is I propos'd the End and found the Means shap'd the Tools and perfected the Work and mine 's the Honour L. Britt May it be so I leave the Honour and the Danger unto you Farewell I 've done my best Exit Pol. Well this Lord is honest but Master of extreme wrong Notions in Policy as if he had been bred under some Calvinistical Pedant that never read Machiavel But I must now lay aside thoughts of State-affairs and mind the grand Concerns of softer Love Leucasia's eyes have shot a fire into my breast which nothing but her self can extinguish If I can enjoy her in the person of a discarded Officer I shall look upon it as my greatest finess For as there is greater art in making a Chain for a Flea than an Elephant so there is something more skill in subduing the heart of a Woman than in subverting a Kingdom Enter Mrs. Counterfeit O Mrs. Counterfeit you 're welcome most heartily welcome What news Count. O the most obliging News in the World Leucasia is yours your Plots take to admiration I vow you don't act fairly to outwit a Woman in her own Profession Read this Gives him a Letter he reads The account you give of that Noble Person and his suffering in so good a Cause will not permit me to be cruel I honour such Noble Patriots and if it is his desire to make known to me any part of his grievances he shall find an honourable and kind reception from Yours Leucasia Pol. Why look you Mrs. Counterfeit did not I tell you that nothing could resist my Policy Here 's a Lady that hates our Religion and in particular my Order and Person Now who but my self could extract good out of so much evil and make her aversion a step to enjoy her Count. If you are as quick in Execution as fine in Projection that will soon be done Or if you should be put to the trouble to ravish or so if opportunity favours your disguise is your security Pol. There thou hitt'st the Nail on the head my disguise is ready you shall go in and see it fitted Count. I wait your Commands but you must go incognito without any Equipage Pol. Pray Mrs. Counterfeit leave the contriving part to me I think I am Master of that Count. And you must be sure to aggravate the Ingratitude of Priests and Jesuits Pol. What still moving beyond your station must the Spring rise higher than the Fountain-head have you not learn'd all this from me and do you pretend to teach Count. No indeed I have not learn'd all from you my Mother and my good Grandmother and my Aunt and my great Aunt taught me a great deal and I have had 50 years experience so that you might trust a little to my Judgment Pol. Then you will pretend to direct me Count. No an 't please your Reverence I will not pretend to that You do excel me and all mankind in the mysterious arts of Love I must most humbly acknowledge it to be so Pol. Then follow me and remember the contriving part is mine the executive we must share between us Exeunt Scene changes to Leucasia's Lodgings Enter Leucasia and Turnabout Leu. You see how far I have condescended to cure your capricious humour tho I must confess your carriage to me and your hair-brain'd Jealousie does deserve my scorn or rather is below it Turn I confess my error and am ready to redeem your lost favour with my Sword What is it you will command Leu. A certain pretended Lord is pleas'd to think me a very fit person to be his Whore Now what would you do in vindication of my Honour Turn Oh very little Perhaps I might only cut his Throat or whip him through the Lungs or some such trifle Neither more nor less Leu. No that 's too much But I suppose that if he should refuse to draw you would grudge him the pains to kick him or assist my Servants in tossing him in a Blanket Turn No by heavens I would not Good Madam tell me
hast something in thee of the Fool and that 's enough for my purpose To Foot Carry him away Pol. You will repent of it Oh! Murther Murther They carry him off by Force Enter Leucasia Betty Sir Geo. Bigot Cautious and Mackdonnel Leu. Gentlemen I sent for you hither to make known the shame of the fam'd Politico who came hither in disguise to rob me of my Honour and I hope I have given you such ocular demonstration as has left no room for doubt Sir Geo. Thou art a brave Girl I faith I love revenge and mischief when it is to the purpose Mack Yesh by my shoul and I do love mischief wid all my heart when dere is no hearme in in it Big It cannot be that Politico should be guilty of such a crime who has labour'd so abundantly in the propagation of the Catholick Cause It must be the delusion of some evil spirit that has put on the shape and habit of Politico to bring this disgrace on our Cause and Order Let me come near him with my Exorcisms and I will make him confess as much Leu. If he should confess himself a Devil he would confess the truth Sir Geo Superstition is incurable and blind Zeal does seldom recover its sight Has not my Neece shewed you the Jewels sent by his own Hand Cau. A good Man may sometimes be taken in a fault but to be so very prodigal as to give away Jewels of that value is a wickedness that I think to be unpardonable Big Come Brother let 's go and comfort Politico under this disgrace Cau. Ay that 's better than to stay here to become spectators of our own Besides I 've Money to receive Big Farewell and remember none ever provok'd our Order unreveng'd Cau. And don't think the World will believe this scandal for we will swear it is false Mack Yesh it ish falsh very falsh Leu. What is false Mack What is falsh by my shoul I 've forgat vat ish dat vas falsh but I 'm sure it vas someting Leu. Ha ha ha ha Cau. Come let 's repair to Politico it is vain to stay here Exeunt Three Priests Enter Turnabout Turn Now Madam I hope my business is quite done I 've gain'd my own ends by Politico who seems to be all melted into Love with my charming conversation and I 've helped your Ladiship in distress which gives me some pretensions unto your favour Leu. It is natural for Men to err and I perceive you are not altogether free from that human frailty you build much upon your friendship with Politico which is now at an end you must expect nothing from him but Revenge and Malice for he is the very person in disguise whom you have so plentifully kick'd and toss'd in a Blanket Turn A Pox on 't 't is impossible Sir Geo. Good Mr. Turnabout speak not impertinently I do know it is so Turn ' Ounds this is a Trick I never thought on Leu. Since you doubt follow me and I 'le soon convince you Turn I 'le wait on you but I am all amazement Exeunt Sir Geo. And I will go and try one Plot as old as I am Here Jack Knocks Enter Servant Serv. Sir Sir Geo. Go immediately to Kensington and turn my Horse loose with Bridle and Saddle raise a report that I am missing and as you believe Murthered and to be sure you Dog be secret Or Serv. Lord Sir How shall I tell such a Lie I never told a Lie in my Life an 't please your Honour Sir Geo. You Dog you can tell nothing else Do it or I 'll cut your Throat Serv. Since your Honour will have it so I 'll try Exit Sir Geo. By this device I hope to understand how far my Son is infected with Jesuitical Principles For if he is far gone I shall discard him for ever Youth quickly learns the Vices of the Town Swiftly they come and swiftly pass away But crimes infus'd by the more sober Gown Are much more black and make a longer stay Exit ACT V. The Scene changes to Politico's Lodgings Enter Politico Bigot Cautious Mackdonnel Pol. ARe ye sure then Leucasia knew me Big She call'd us to be spectators of your shame Pol. Was ever man thus baffled in Amour by the sole malignity of Fortune for you must needs grant that the Plot was well laid Big Be not dejected this Blanketting is a lively representation of Great mens Fortunes sometimes up and sometimes down There is never any great Exaltation but there is danger of a sudden Depression this you knew before to be true by Speculation and now receive a confirmation from palpable Experience Cau. Ay but to be kick'd up and down like a Football that was rude Big The Poets and Philosophers compare the Life of Man to a Game at Tennis The World is the Tennis-court and men are the Balls which the Fates toss up and down with Rackets But great men like great Foot-balls are kicked up and down with greater violence The stock was rude but the emblem is good and useful Pol. Alas I don't value a little Blanketing or Kicking But to have a Plot disappointed that grieves me Mack By my shoul my dear Joy de dishappointment ish not so great for tho thow didst not get into the Lady's Bed thou didst get possession of the Blanket and that is something Ha ha Pol. And do you think that Turnabout knew me Cau. Not then but now I presume he does Pol. Then will I be reveng'd on him Big But how Pol. By giving him good words raising his hopes making him spend the remainder of his small fortune in expectation of great things and then doing for him just nothing at all And then for Leucasia Big Ay prethee what canst contrive against that pestilent Heretick Pol. I have one of the finest Plots in the World if thou wilt but assist me Big To be reveng'd on Leucasia is to do good to the publick and I will refuse no labour to accomplish that Pol. Then this it is You hear the Rabble are in some violent commotions against the Men of our Persuasion and Order Cau. So great that I have hid all my Trunks in your dark Cellar Pol. You Bigot shall put on a Porters Frock and excite them to all manner of Indignities Big Against whom Pol. Against all Romanists and especially against my self Big And what then Pol. Why I will repair under pretence of shelter to Leucasia's Lodgings And there will scatter Books and Pictures that are peculiar to our way then you shall bring down the Rabble to search for me precisely at Nine of the Clock I will be gone before that time and so you with your wonted Eloquence shall make the whole storm light upon Leucasia Big Brother you must excuse me it is not for the good of the Cause Pol. Brother you are mistaken I can demonstrate it to be the surest and securest way to promote it Big You are the Oracle of Policy I will