cheekes which seemed before like roses or shining Carbuncles conteyned nothing at all of their former and naturall beawty Like act did many wise well learned Damosels and holy virgines of the Primitiue church of whom especiall memory is made among Christians at this day What say ye of our Courtezans whom God by his especiall grace hauing not giuen the gift to bee the fairest of all other howe daily they cease not to inuent newe and strange manners of paintinges to counterfeit and disguise their age and first naturall shape with false haires Spanish white Pomâ—des Targon distilled waters braied drugs Oyles Powders and others follies too long to be recounted Oftentimes they shaue or burne their artificiall haire and then againe rub slick chafe and washe themselues only to seeme faire yet notwithstanding looke on them at night or in the morning and ye shall finde them more deformed than before but what ensueth soone after vppon this goodly industry Sinne Death and the anger of God Now then desire this feigned faire beawty whoe will and such as best thinke themselues worthy of it for I hold most firmely that it is better to hate flie it then to wish or affect it seeing nothing procedeth thereof but pride ouer-weening and vaine-glorie as also the moste mishapen horned creatures of the world Neuer was I of any other minde since the time I had power of reason to discerne and knowe truth from falshood but that deformed people deserued more praise then the beawtifull nor is it without cause or disagreeing with best sense considering such as are hard fauoured are commonly chast humble ingenious holy and haue euer some sweete appearance of most commendable grace But for them that boast of beautie I leaue to you the consideration of their behauiour which is often times so counterfeit as nothing can be saide to agree lesse with nature You shall see them of lofty countenance inconstant demeanour wandring lookes bold pace and like language nowe iudge at your pleasure what ye conceiue of them Conclude then will I that it is much better to be fowle than faire let no aduersary party intrude himselfe to replie against my speeches for I am both stoutlie determined and sufficientlie furnished to make him answer Had I no more but the testimony of Theophrastus who hath left vs in writing that bodily beawtye is nothing else but secret deceit And he that will not heere with content himselfe to him let me produce the aduise of Theocritus that beawty is an vnknown detriment Shall we then be so vnwise and sottish that euen at the first sight wee will pursue our owne euils and misfortunes more easilie embracing most perillous and damageable beawtie then deformitie ten times more auailing and profitable Would God that foolish minde might not abide in any one but rather that we all would hate what is so vnfit for vs from which commeth no goodnes or felicitie For the ignorant Declamation 3. That ignorance is better than knowledge THe more I thinke heereon the more I resolue and rest in this opinion that it is better to haue no knowledge in letters then to be expert or skilfull therein considering that such as haue consumed the more part of their age in the study of sciences haue in the ende repented themselues thereof and haue oftentimes found very euill successe thereby Valerius the great writing of Cicero who by good right deserued to be called not only the father of eloquence but euen the fountaine of all excellent lerning saith that in his latter years he conceiued such an hatred against letters as if they had beene the cause of his so many greefes and trauailes The Emperour Licinius Valentinianus Heraclides Licianus and Philonides of Malta haue openlie tearmed the skill in letters sometime to be a publique plague sometime a common poison to men And I haue found written in many good Authors that hee which couets knowledge couets vexation that from great experience ensueth oftentimes the greatest daunger Likewise it is certaine that all heresies as well ancient as moderne came from men of knowledge coÌ„trariwise that in people esteemed idiots or men of little knowledge haue beene vsuallye noted expresse signes of vertuous workes and good examples I highly commend the order among the Lucanes that no one professing capacity of letters or esteemed learned may obtaine any office or sit as a Magistrate in their parlement for they stande in feare least these lettered men by their great knowledge which makes them presume so much on their persons should trouble the good order and tranquillity of their common wealth Nor may this be reckoned but to very good purpose if we would well consider their insolencie who vnder shaddow of probation in a colledge would haue euery one stand bounden or be holding to them and thinke vnder colour of their faire allegations with interpretations God wots crooked enough sometime to ouerthrow the best naturall sence in the worlde and they of dutie ought to be aboue all onely heard and listened to Some of them there be that like to Mydas confound in their obstinate opinions and stiffe-necked conceits all things whatsoeuer they take in hand I cannot imagine to what ende are auaileable these men so highly learned who in honor of their followers are called fine polished curious and ingenious wits For if they might serue to gouerne any publique cause how many nations are seene without the knowledge of lawes imperiall or of Stoical or Peripatetical philosophy so to gouerne entertaine themselues that they out-goe al auncient CoÌ„mon weales To thinke that they may serue for the art military I dare boldly witnesse thus much vnto ye that I haue knowne more then one or two Gentlemen and captains wel lettered who by the helpe of their books haue laboured and busied themselues to point out a field leuy an armie put men in arraie and furnishe their squadrons which practise neuer returned them any honor For in truth in matter of warre we daily behold to happen incident nouelties and vnaccustomed stratagems which neuer before were registred or put in vse by the very skilfullest writers in times past Howe can wee then with reason affirme the bookes of Frontinus or Vegetius to be profitable for the art of warre In my conceit the good iudgment of a Captaine ioyned with his long vse and experience in these matters is sufficient enough for him without troubling him to turne ouer bookes of the Art militarie That these lettered people are meet to guide a house or gouerne a houshold which the Philosophers called Oeconomia howe can I agree thereto when at this day is to be noted both heere and elsewhere how many good and honest mothers of families who neuer in their liues studied in any Vniuersitie yet both haue and doe well order their houses guide their houshold yea aboue one or two hundred women for example whoe no displeasure to Aristotle or Xenophon may learnedly reade them
The Defence of Contraries Paradoxes against common opinion debated in forme of declamations in place of publike censure only to exercise yong wittes in difficult matters Wherein is no offence to Gods honour the estate of Princes or priuate mens honest actions but pleasant recreation to beguile the iniquity of time Translated out of French by A. M. one of the Messengers of her Maiesties Chamber Patere aut abstine Imprinted at London by Iohn Windeâ— for Simon Waterson 1593. To the King SIr after you had heard the censures of diuers learned Gentlemen on the seuerall Paradoxes which you pleased to propound and were therein as I imagined fully satisfied yet you would needes make triall of my meane iudgement in such matters and thervpon commanded me to set down mine opinion How simple soeuer they be doone they are and now in all humblenes presented to your Maiestie who doubtlesse will allow them gratious countenance because it was a taske imposed by your selfe and beside requireth labour and good wit to defend such contraries Let no manne thinke then that I or any other would be so sencelesse as to holde directly any of these vaine reasons but what for argumentes sake may be said that set I downe and no otherwise Your Highnesse knowes that the simplest conceit can maintaine It is better to be rich then poore better for a Woman to be faire then foule better for a man to be wise then a foole c. But to defend the contraries to these so farre as modestie and reason wil allow deserueth no hard coniecture among the learned because they are onely but exercise of wit to make proofe of a mans habilitie in such difficult occasions Cornelius Agrippa deserued good report for his Vanitas Scientiarum and I hope to passe the pikes with my Paradox'apologia how euer it fall out so your Maiesty buckler me with wonted fauour I am of Caesars mind Iactaest alea. Your Maiesties most humble subiect and seruaunt R. G. S. D. M. To the friendly Reader GEntle Reader euen as contrarie thinges compared one with another do giue the better euidence of their value and vertue so the truth of any matter whatsoeuer appeareth most cleerely when the different reasons against the same is equalled or neighboured therewith Beside whosoeuer woulde prepare a Knight to the field must first exercise himselfe in the most common and vulgare actes of Armes that cunning stratagems may seeme the lesse laboursome to him In like manner for him that woulde be a good Lawyer after he hath long listened at the barre he must aduenture to defend such a cause as they that are most imployed refuse to maintaine therby to make himselfe more apt and ready against common pleaders in ordinarie causes of processe For this intent I haue vndertaken in this book to debate on certaine matters which our Elders were wont to cal Paradoxes that is to say things contrary to most mens present opinions to the end that by such discourse as is helde in them opposed truth might appeare more cleere and apparant Likewise to exercise thy witte in proofe of such occasions as shall enforce thee to seeke diligentlie and laboriously for sound reasons proofes authorities histories and very darke or hidden memories Notwithstanding in this conceits I would not haue thee so much deceiued as that eyther my sayings or conclusions should make thee credit otherwise then common and sensible iudgement requireth and yet withall remember that diuersitie of things doth more comfort mens spirites then daily and continually to behold whatsoeuer is common and frequent to our iudgements Farewell For Pouertie Declamation 1. That it is better to be poore than Rich. COnsidering for what and against whome I am to speake in your presence I haue great occasion to feare and withal to request that credit and fauour shoulde haue no more meanes to blemish and obscure truth on your partes then may innocencie and simplicitie on my behalfe by bringing and conducting ye into the apparant light For minding to commend such things as are blamed and hated by most part of men it will be almost impossible for me to escape displeasure in the matters themselues which of each one and at all times haue beene loued esteemed and cherished aboued all other things But one thing that heerin giueth me some comfort is that among the wise and vertuous the number whereof are dailye without comparison farre lesse albeit much more esteemed then the bad and ignorant I shall escape vnblamed Wherefore I need not be dismaied if I find few protectors and friends for praising matters so good and honest when my aduersarie findeth greater aduantage for extolling such things as are euill and pernitious Nowe because the principall point of my cause consisteth in letting ye vnderstand the estate and valew of such matters as I stand for I desire ye to wish him who would turne ye from the knowledge heerof as pretending not to know that the well skilde in letters haue for the most part been poore and needie persons To cal to memorie the life of Valerius Publicola Menenius Agrippa as also the good Aristiâ—es who died all so poore as they were faine by almes to be buried Hee may remember likewise Epaminondas king of Thebes in whose rich houses Pallaces after so many faire victories and noble deedes of armes by him perfourmed was found but one poore straw-bed or base mattresse for to put in his Inuentory He may bee mindfull also of Paulus Aemillius Attillius Regulus Quintus Cincinnatus Cato Elius and Marcus Manlius whose noble hartes were more coÌ„manded by want then the height of worldly fortunes And who knowes not that loue of pouertie had such power ouer the good Abdolominus that to be ruled thereby hee refused the most riche and abounding kingdome of Sydonia he being elected by the people of the Countrey to be gouernor thereof Heerein appeareth sufficiently the great number of molestations and trauailes hidden vnder the vaine splendor of riches and the aboundance of honours hidden in the beautiful bosome of pouertie honors well knowne and vnderstood by the Poet Anacreon to whom it happened that hauing been two whole nights togither without any rest troubled with continuall deuisings how he might keepe from theeues and imploy the fiue talents of golde which Polycrates had giuen him at length to deliuer himselfe from this perpetuall molestation and returne to his former happinesse he brought backe the faire Talentes to the Tyrant with such wordes as one of his sorte might very well vse and notwithstanding hee was poore and indigent yet he refused those thinges so highly accounted on It is certaine that hee whoe hath alwaies liued poor in this world hath no greefe or sorrowe when he departeth from it for it is to bee considered that hee leaueth this earthlie life more contented and ioyfullie then he that by the meanes of riches hath therin endured long time of pleasure As for my selfe I neuer saw one that was poore indeed who
at his death desired to be better stored O chaste and humble pouertie wheron as on a most firme rocke was builded of olde the Churche of God Pouertie architectrix of great citties towns inuentresse of all Artes and faire sciences alone without any fault or reproch Triumphant in very great excellence and worthy of all honour and commendation By thee was the Philosopher Plato esteemed so deuine Socrates so wise and good Homer so eloquent By thy meanes was erected the Empire of the great Romaine people and to be briefe how much for other things thou art to be loued singularlie yet for this one respect art thou highlie to be praised because apparantlie thou makest knowne who among friends are the feigned and counterfeit Wherfore I say that such as forsake and reiect thee ought to be shunned as a sauage beast chased from euery one considering that in refusing thee he repulseth the mistresse of all goods excellence of the spirit of man That this is true howe many persons haue beene seene by the meanes of honest want to be brought to all modesty humility chastitie prouidence and lastlie to ioy in that which false phylosophy by long time and continuall studie could hardly at any time bring to memorie If mine oath might vrge ye to beleefe I durst affirme before ye that I haue seen some in their worldly felicities more furious than euer was Orestes more proud then Athamantis more voluptuous libidinous then Verres or Clodius who soone after by some inconueniences being brought to pouerty became in one instant chast courteous and so debonaire as not so much as the very shadow of their bodies but appeered to be affable and gratious And neuer did so much the gainesaiers of this vertue no not in the honesties of morall philosophy for it is a thing very certaine that shee could neuer performe like worthy deedes as our good pouertie hath doone I beseech ye consider what a mistresse in her house she hath alwaies beene to forbid that where she soiourneth sloth prodigalitie gouttinesse luxurie with such like mishapen and detestable matrones should haue any harbour Whersoeuer she sheweth her selfe it behoueth pride to bee gone with all diligence neuer must enuy haue any place there such trumperies and abuses she scattereth from her abroades But may it please ye to vnderstand Gentlemen whereon they so much affected to riches and couetousnesse of money doe ground themselues which in all seasons hath beene held for the greatest ruine and destruction of men They say that such is the inclination of our spirit I would demand of them what societie haue the spirits of men being of their owne nature diuine and celestial with earthly superfluities because nothing else is gold or siluer then the very excrement of the earth where finde they that any one of them who were highly wise would euer place riches in the number of those thinges that truely ought to bee called goods Vnhappy thornes which brings ye such greefe in the gathering which with so many warme teares and ouer-bitter sighs ye leaue lost and dissipated and with such paines and anguishes ye cause to be guarded and tended Seneca an author of great reputation saide That the man is greatly to be commended whoe prizeth earthen vessels as much as if they were of siluer but much more praise deserueth he that esteemeth vesselles of golde or siluer no more then if they were of earth So in truth if we consider well the condition of these so highly beloued riches we shall find them naturally to be such as in dispending or employing them they cause nothing else but trouble and torment And thinking to keepe them safe and sure vnder key neuer the more easie benefite is receiued thereby but oppressions of such care as we cannot but repute our selues simple subiects and seruants to them For this it is that our God of infinite wisdom and bountie calleth the poore most blessed who euer gaue so much fauor to pouertie as he in imitation of whom many I thinke by him inspired haue buried their goods fearing least themselues shoulde be buried in them And brieflye to discouer the pleasure of these riches If we desire them to haue a sumptuous stable of horses double and single Courtals ambling and trotting Geldings Iennets Hungarian Barbarian Turkish and other horsses of excellence let vs consider that the horsse by nature is a fantasticall beaste night and day eating the goods of his maister yet for all that neuer satisfied a lofty and a couragious beast bread and nourished vppe for warre to whom somtimes their needes but a wispe of strawe to affright him with a shadow which endagers the ouerthrow of his maister A beast that oft times will not obey the bridle or the spurre and without the meanes of well ordering and managing will fall into a thousand bogges or quag-mires How many daungerous alarmes and spoile of Countries caused by the vnhappie incursions of the Gotthique Vandalian Hunnes Danish horses haue the noble kingdoms of France Italie and Spaine receiued whoe but for this helpe had neuer beene enterprized vppon by those barbarous Nations What damage yeerely doe the poste horses not only to riders for offices and benefices but likewise to Princes and Lords who somtime for their pleasure desire to winne ground in hast I neuer looke on them that so boldly place their affection in horses and who without any reasonable cause so affect and keepe them but I say to my selfe betweene him that loueth and the thing beloued it behoueth there should be some similitude and resemblance otherwise such an appetite should neuer bee ingendred nor could these two so well agree togyther Seeing then that rich men are so immesureably affected to their horsses as they can thinke on no other pastimes in the world but to send to buy them at Naples in Turkie in Almaigne and Spaine it must needes be esteemed that they holde some disposition agreeing with the horsses participating with some strange and brutishe nature And not to be silent in other discommodities which horsses bringeth as well in the field as the Citty first of all if they trot they will breake their reynes and if they amble they are ready to stumble and fall hazarding thy ouerthrow or perishing some member of thy body Beside this as saith the great Alfirtocus and many good Authors of Escuyrie the horsse is subiect to more diseases then a man So let me leaue ye to bethinke on such other greefes and vexations which horsses daily bring vnto ye If we see into the pleasure of the rich concerning the beawtie of their Cabinets garnished amonge other iewels with pointed diamonds Rubies Topazses Emeraldes or other beautifull stones wee may at this day perceiue by proofe that the price and valew of pretious stones consisteth only in the affection of very wealthy persons or in the smooth language of the abusers that sell them the reputation and esteem of them being subiect to
a Lecture and turne them confusedly out of theyr houshold catalogue so good and right a course doe they carry in these causes And I doe not doubt but if those Philosophers or Oeconomikes of times past were at this daie present to see how these huswiues gouerne and content each one themselues would auouch that they might learne of them new precepts instructions that better would become their faire bookes and volumes May it please ye that I shew ye how these expert fellowes in letters euen as by another Cyrces are transformed and depriued of the greater part of their naturall power Finde me out a yong man lustie and brauely disposed of person affable endued and garnished with all such things as are best beseeming his age let him follow the studie of letters ye shall find him in short time vnlusty louttish vnapt to al things and as little while for conference can he tarry from his booke as can the fish out of the water I pray ye note the lookes of poore Students how sad they are melancholy grim dreadfull languishing humorous and heauie in breefe the very neerest portrait to a deadly counterfeit or a long dried anatomie And as for their complexions they are the hardest in choise that can bee amongst men euer they are suspitious of some euill so bad they are thēselues proud presumptuous despising all honest companies mortall enimies to the so noble sweete sexe feminine vaunters to the vttermost and frantique inuenters of tales trifles inuentions Which Saint Paule diuinely foreseeing admonished vs not to be wise but soberly minded fearing least by ouer-plunging our selues in the depth of humane doctrines we should fall into farre greater perils dangers therefore he counsels vs not to seeke after high and difficult matters but to abide in feare without passing the bounds of obedience Likewise did not he shew himselfe to haue lefte and despised all litterature and worldly knowledge after hee had gotten the true knowledge of GOD when he said nothing was more to be desired then well to know his maister crucified That he was not come to preach garnished with humane wisdome or rhethoricall cunning And that the wisdome of this world was nothing else but follie before God And that it did nothing else but puffe vppe the heartes of men And that whosoeuer sought after things ouer high should finde themselues shut quite out of glorie And these words agree with the saying of Ecclesiasticus that wee should seeke after nothing which surmounteth the capacity of our spirit To proue the same hath not God menaced by the mouth of his Prophet to destroy the wisedome of the wise and to reproue the prudence of the skilfull What shall let me from beleeuing that the wisedome of this world was the inuention of the enimy whom our elders called Daemon seeing the word Daemon signifieth wise and learned This was hee that promised to poore Adam so easie to be deceiued the knowledge of good and euill if he woulde but taste of the fruit which God had forbidden him Plato rehearseth to this purpose that an euill spirit named Theudas was the first inuenter of Sciences hence it followeth as I thinke that we see so fewe learned men but some of them are wicked seditious enuying the glory one of another lurking deceiuers and cruell reuengers which though it be not doone by armes in field like men yet haue they the meanes of performing the same in Comedies beastly Satyres too sharpe and biting verses cruell Iambicks furious Epigrames I woulde willinglie demaund of such as make doubt of the disprofit and slender value of letters if they were of such price and esteeme as they make them to be our great Lords who are as euery one perceiueth very curious of the most faire and pretious things in the worlde woulde they endure such dearth in their houses Why doth not learning make them so rich magnificent as other temporal goods doe And were it so greatly profitable for youth as also such an honest recreation for age I am ashamed to see that in our great Citties and Townes the professors thereof goe from house to house like such as begge bread with empty wallets For in truth this is the end of letters followers and fauourers in these vnhappy and accursed times not onely to bee beggers but beyond al other to be most miserable and male-content That this is true doe but note the very first figure character or letter which wee teache our children in their infancie is it not the Crosse beginning with all pouertie going on with anguishe trouble and greefe and ending with like dolorous death For example see what was the ende of Socrates Anaxagoras who by sentence and decree of the Senate of their countreys were both miserablie poisoned Thales likewise who died with thirst Zeno who was slaine by commandement of the Tyrant Phalaris Anaxarchus who was detestably murdered by the commandement of Nicocreon The great Philosopher and most singular Mathematician Archimides who was slaine by the souldiers of Marcellus And Pythagoras likewise whoe was slaine in companie of three score of his Schollers Thinke on the glorious recompence made to the Philosopher Plato when after his long trauaile for the cause publike he was in the end sold as a slaue by Dionisius the Tyrant Anacharsis died suddenlie Diodorus died in despight because he coulde not resolue a question which was proposed to him by the Philosopher Stilpo Aristotle when he saw himselfe out of credit with Alexander he drowned himselfe in Chalcide in the riuer Eurypus and Calisthenes his scholler was cast forth of the windowes Cicero had his hed and handes cut off and his toong pulled out hauing beene before banished from Rome where he sawe his house ruined his so deerly beloued daughter ded before his face and his wife in the armes of his vtter aduersary Seneca died a violent and outragious death Auerroes the great commenter of Aristotle was broken with a wheele that passed ouer his bodie Iohannes Scotus making his Lecture in England was stabbed to death by his schollers with their penkniues But leauing these auncient matters and to speake of them of our time let vs consider the death of Hermolaus Barbarus who was banished from the Signorie of Venice because without the consent of them he had accepted the Patriarches authority of Aquilea he died by a cole that tooke holde vnder one of his toes Domitius Calderinus died also of the plague The learned counceller or peace-maker was burned after he was dead because they coulde not catch him in his life time Angelus Politianus ended his daies beating his head against the walles Sauanarola was burned at Florence by the commandment of Pope Alexander Peter Lion of Spoleta was throwne into a well Iohannes Tissierus died in an hospitall Erasmus in exile The French Poet in like manner by the miserable and implacable sute of the court euen in his oldest yeares The Lord Iohn Fraunces Pica Mirandula
to affirme that this worlde is a very Cage or mine of such people And if all they which holde of that race would suffer themselues to be written in the rowle or paper belonging to the Prince of fooles or bee registred in the Abbey of these happy people there should not neede so much strife and lawe for calling one another sot or foole For in sooth it is a name that may beseeme the very greatest and wisest in the worlde yea were it to the great king Salomon who albeit he only among the Hebrewes bare the title of wise yet beside that hee well deserued the name of a foole when he sacrifised to Idols and entertained so long such a great number of Concubines Also of this name were capable the seuen Sages whom ambitious and lying Greece vaunted to bring forth and nourish their actions and behauior Cicero affirmeth that whosoeuer will lightly runne ouer and cull them out shall finde them to be more full of follie then wit How many haue beene seene since the Creation of the worlde that haue escaped infinite daungers only by counterfeiting folly What might they more haue doone if they had beene fooles indeed when the onlye shaddowe was to them the cause of such good How many haue we knowne and heard of that haue beene absolued of theftes murders and other misdeeds by supposition that they indeed were fooles Thinke yee that heauen dooth customablye giue so faire and excellent priuiledges to others as to people diuine and celestiall The farther I wade in contemplation of follie the more pleasing I finde it and garnished with all faire commodities See howe a foole troubles him selfe with a kingdomes affaires or fortifiyng of a Cittye See what paine he puts himselfe to in gouerning an housholde or pertaking with one Prince or other yet notwithstanding we see such as are esteemed the wisest to iniury themselues heereby and wexe very olde with such molestations of the minde May it please ye to vnderstand the difference which I finde betweene the foole and wise man Regard the passions and affections in them both First of all the foole is not any thing curious in his meate or drinke neyther cares for fine decking and clothing himselfe they whom we call wise neuer haue enough and neuer are satisfied with the goods of this world neither can all humane industry or the very goddesse aboūdance with hir great Cornet suffice their insatiable desires Now iudge hereby which of these two come neerest the obseruation of Gods commandement who forbiddeth vs in his Gospell not to be carefull for our food or raiment Beside the foole makes no esteeme of honours and worldly dignities he contemns great preheminences refusing the places and seates honourable in magnificent companies Contrariwise they that holde themselues so wise seeke nothing at this day but worldly honour And to attaine superiour dignities they feare not to endure heat or cold they forget the discommoditie of great trauaile as also losse of rest by day and night to the hazard oftentimes of their liues so deerely beloued and by them held in such pretious account The foole feeles not himselfe prouoked with so many pricks of Fortune he meddles not with sights or combats he hath no Lawe-pleadings nor quarrels wherby to get or defend his goods he hath not such paine in attending on the Court as others haue to be entertained by one or other he yeelds not him self for the miserable requital of two or thre crowns a buckler to ten thousand bullets of shot musquets or harguebuzes he breaks not his neck in riding post after offices benefices or confiscations he languishes not in pursuing the loue or fauour of Ladies hee paies no taxe or tribute lastly he is not subiect to any one but liueth in perfect franchise and liberty He is permitted and licensed to speake what himselfe thinks good touching the dealings of Princes priuate persons without encurring thereby any danger of imprisonment or corporall punishment He hath no need of Rhethoricall cunning to make him selfe attentiuely listened vnto but bestowes on each one the ioyous pastimes of his meriments I stand in need of a whole sourse of eloquence wherewith I might thorowlie paint foorth and discipher the honest vertues of most pretious follie the contrary whereof hath beene cause of the punishing of an hundred thousand iniuries and of ouerthrowing the intelligence and actions of many great personages I find that Fortune hath euermore beene very carefull in bestowing perticular aide vpon fooles and defended them as her most deere children frō infinite perils and dangers Likewise wee see by experience that the greater part of fooles liue longer and more happily then the wise doe Wherefore should we thinke this to be so but because they giue not themselues to any melancholie neuer meddle with Lawe-causes debates or quarrels neither mollest themselues with matters publique or priuate which makes me say and affirm vnto ye that folly euen as Poesie is somewhat celestiall and filleth the hartes of her children with a certaine spirite of prophesie and diuine furie by meanes wherof they seeme agreeable to euery one and purchase very great esteeme and fauour in the eies of Princes You shall finde by experience that many great wealthy Lords turne their faces from company and conference with wise men yea such as are saide to haue the greatest learning that they may intertaine pleasure with a foole and commune familiarlie with him yea sometimes they will leaue their best and most auncient seruantes or fauorites to delight and bestow countenance on the first foole that comes before them Is it not maruellous that we shall neuer see a man of great knowledge indeede but hath some part of this pretious folly in him Though ye woulde produce neuer so many learned men or of what profession else so euerye please be they Philosophers Orators Painters Statuaries Musitians Builders yet they haue some tast heereof and generally all people of learning whatsoeuer Where shall yee finde one singular Poet at this day that doth not participate in this folly Euery one knoweth that the Poet deepest skild therein is accounted most excellent And if the greate Philosopher Plato had not had more then a reasonable portion of this diuine folly thinke yee that he had deliuered so many faire excellent matters which we haue at this day after his maner And yet you are ashamed to be accounted or called fools The inuenter of the Italian Cardes whereat they haue a play or pastime called Tarault did in my cōceit very ingeniouslie when he put the Deniers or monyes and Bastons or clubs in combate togither as the very encountring of force and iustice But yet he deserued more praise for giuing in this play the most honourable place to the foole as we do to the Ace which we should rather call Nars that in dutch signifieth a Foole. This deuiser well noted the great seruitude whereto they most commonly are subiect that couet a place
among the very wisest for it behoues them to haue so many discretions so manye respects so many considerations wherwith the happie foole neuer troubleth himselfe so that they are constrained oftentimes to submit themselues and continue like countenance and daily against theyr natures to seeme graue and seuere The Foole doth not repose any confidence in his owne wisedome neither hath recourse to the subtletie and deceits of this world He neuer rests himselfe on the support and fauour of other whereby anye harme may happen to him for God hath him in his custodie and safegarde Which is a worde whereat our Catoes at this day will easily enter into choller But they must lightly passe it ouer and by constraint of verity confesse it true if they will giue but neuer so little regarde to the holy Scriptures there they shall finde that the wisedome of this world hath byn more sharpely taxed and with more greeuous arrests condemned then folly And yet our bold ouer-weeners will goe contrary to this diuine word to take part with that which God the Creator not onelye hath reproued among men but likewise greatly hateth I finde that the very greatest and most renowmed Nations in Europe haue long while since gotten some title or marke of folly To beginne with the Gaules did not Saint Paule call them foolish Gallathians Albeit the prowesse and strength which they haue daily shewen in deedes of Armes may sufficientlie testifie from East to West yea euen to the Antipodes at the ende and limits of which regions hath their Ensignes beene most brauely displaied The Portugals by their haughtie enterprise who notwithstanding haue beene reputed foolish passed so farre as the Indiaes where with losse and damage of their men they conquered many places in those Countryes and got by these meanes the commoditie to traffique with many places before not inhabited This is it which makes them so proud in the trade of merchandise and brag of the excellencie of their Lishbone enritched with so faire a port of the sea also two so wel proportioned mountaines at the entrāce and the floud with golden sandes As for the Germaines it is well knowne that they haue a large share heerein especially they who in imitation of women or children so often change into many opinions and maisters seruices For this it may be saide that Caesar in his Commentaries did them not so much honour as to call them valiant champions or prudent in affaires of warre If we will passe so farre as into Italie we shall finde many goodly and noble Citties among the rest that serue as great or very faire Cages to fooles of all fashions and that they are in fauour of such an esteemed matter the most honourably scituated in al the Countrey and by the great number of fooles contained in them they are diuinely embellished and inritched with the very cheefest excellencies and noble priuileges that can be desired That this is true let vs consider the excellent scituation of auncient Sienna for the honest libertie wherof the King not many daies past so earnestlie trauailed You shall there beholde as a matter of antiquity to preserue fooles in health erected a pleasant beautiful building enuironed with the most sweet and gratious aire in the world garnished with rich and honourable lodgings villages neere hand of great receit naturall Bathes very pure and healthfull Moreouer as with men so is it well furnished adorned with Ladies gentle and courteous young people so well disposed as may be good musitians and Rhetoricians as any cittie else thereabout except the ancient Vniuersitie adioyning and the newe Academie of the Intronati who by the meanes of their so highlie fauoured folly do in time of peace thinges of incomparable pleasure and recreation What shall I say to ye of Parma where to maintaine fooles in pastimes is a very faire plaine of grasse rounded neighboured with many pleasant mountaines How fertile is it likewise of noble and puissant families and couragious souldiours whoe by vertue of their singular follye beeing assisted with the aide and succour of the French are redoubted and feared of all their neighbour countries I will hold my peace of the Parmesane cheese whereof notwithstanding that I haue tasted yet I cannot forbeare but say in my hart that if for that meate our Father Adam had transgressed in my conceit hee had beene somewhat excuseable nor should I after taste thereof haue any desire to the Nectar and Ambrosia of great Iupiter O how they of Verona Brescia and Venice were beholding to worthy folly when they made answere to K. Lewes the twelfth that they were wise inough whereby they constrained him to send them so many French-men as were accounted fooles because their wisedome and magnificence knew not how to resist th' others forse prowesse So were the fools of the saide king Regentes and maisters ouer the wise Venetians as before they had been ouer the Genewaies Millaineses as long time before that the fools that were led by the great Frenche Captaine were maisters ouer the mighty and wise Romaines Too long woulde the rehearsall be of fooles and Arch fooles that are to be found enclosed within the Citties of Italie Wherefore to finishe this discourse I will thus frame my conclusion that fooles ought to be singularlie esteemed and commended bicause God doth them so much fauour as hee hath chosen by them to confound and ouerthrow the wisdome of this world withall that the most noble Citties puissant Nations ought to be esteemed much more for folly then wisedome For him that hath lost his worldly Honours and Preferments Declamation 6. That a man ought not to be greeued though he be despoiled of his goods and honours I Am not a little abashed for what cause the noble men of our time make so much adoo and mooue such quarrell and contention for the losse of their fraile and slippery estats seeing it followeth vpon necessitie that one day they must needes be dispossessed and taken from them if not by force yet by the meanes of death who of his owne nature imposeth an ende on all things And I see no cause or reason why they being subiect to so many humaine passions and fortunes as euen the very poorest basest condition in the world shoulde presume and hazard themselues before so manye persons of greater valour perhaps then themselues for aduancement and superiority and yet they take scorn to be made of like mettall as they are to whom by right of nature they are altogither equall semblable An excellent Philosopher and of very great reputation in his time maintained that the rich hadde euer some occasion to contend with their riches and temporall goods as also beautifull persons with their bodilie graces But the greatest and most excellent contention that men ought indeed to haue among themselues were to striue who should surmount ech other in gentlenesse and honestie and the very highest preheminence that should bee
conclusion great folly in any Lord to be displeased or offended at the losse of his honors and liuings but rather with such fortunes he ought to reioice and be glad as being by so good occasion discharged of a burden so greeuous and heauy For this is my opinion that it were better for him to lose his worldly estate and dignitie then himselfe to be thereby lost and destroied for euer For Drinkers Declamation 7. That Drunkennesse is better than Sobrietie I Did heeretofore so breefely as I could deliuer vnto ye the great excellence and noble nature of wine that I might afterward inferre in what great honour reputation he ought to bee that especiallie loues it and longest continueth in delight thereof And albeit it seemeth to many a verie hard and laborious enterprise by reason of the abundance of good wordes and well conuaied language wherewith it is necessary they should bee thorowlie furnished in such a cause yet neuerthelesse will I boldly deliuer my opinion though I am vnfurnished of that diuine furie which ordinarilie worketh maruellous matters in our spirits whereof in this need might I receiue neuer so little fauour I should farre better satisfie your desires that are bent with attention to heare what I can say in this matter To proceed in our discourse I finde that the great vertue and excellence of wine hath beene of our elders so intirely known and approued that the highly esteemed Asclepiades did it so much honour as to couple the faculties and vertues thereof with them of the very cheefest Gods Which is agreeable with the consent of holy scripture whereby was autenticallie pronounced that wine was sent to men as by the especiall grace and immortall gift of God therewith oftentimes to refresh and recreate their spirites ouer much weakened and trauailed with long cares which they suffer continuallie in this worlde And heerewith altogither agreeth the opinion of good Homer in many places of his diuine Poesie And whosoeuer shal require of me greater proofe assurance I pray them to consider how that truth it selfe which is the thing that hath and yet at this day doth ouer-rule the greatest case in the world from all antiquitie holdeth principall consent with wine This is it which made place for the auncient prouerbe knowne sufficiently of euery one that in Wine is truth to be found wherein fooles children and drunken men are most accustomed to display it Wherefore I cannot sufficiently maruell at the great fault of learned Democritus who would sometimes maintaine that truth lodgeth her selfe in the bottome of a well this is greatly against the aduise and opinion of all the Greekes which euermore defended that her lodging continually was in VVine VVhereto very well consenteth Horace one of the most excellent Latine Poets who so soundly confirmed this matter in his learned verses made and composed by the helpe of this sweet liquor wherewith his stomach so plentifully abounded as hee coulde deliuer it backe againe forth at his eies To the same purpose the great Philosopher Plato would prooue and maintaine that wine was a very firme and sure foundation of mens spirites by the fauour and vertue whereof I may easilie coniecture that he founde the inuention of his goodly Ideas of his numbers and of his lawes so magnificent also that with the aide of this sweet drinke he spake so deepelie on the gratious argument of loue and likewise disposed his so well ordered Common-wealth VVithall he defended that the Muses flourished farre and neere in the very smell of Bacchus liquor and the Poet that drunke not profoundly therof could frame no verse excellent high-reaching or of good measure But leauing verse and Poesie let vs come to the kind drinkers of cleere water I would willingly demaund of them what good they can receiue in this world by vsing such an vnsauorie drinke In the first place how can a drinker of water well accomplishe housholde dutie when the naturall seede is more moist then any thing else and lesse strong for the procreation of children VVhich is the cause such people are alwaies weake feeble sicke and colour-lesse Likewise ye neuer sawe a drinker of water but was depriued of the true strength of all his members and hardie courage of hart He hath so little stomach so weake an appetite to digest his meates as commonly his life is short or else vnhealthfull For this cause it was that Saint Paule knowing Timothie albeit he was very yong in the strength of his age to take delight in drinking nothing but water admonished him to vse therewith a little wine if it were but for the onely health of his stomach and preuention of such diseases whereto by his complexion he was ouermuch subiect I await vpon this point the reply of some opiniatiue person who will tell me that such was not the aduise of Cistus Bullengerus nor yet of Nouellus Tricongius who dranke three measures of wine daily called Congii which contained three gallons and three pintes of our measure for which the Emperour Tiberius promoted him to honour and at the last made him Consull of Rome I againe replie on the contrarie that such was the opinion of the most wise and prudent king of all auncient memorie who saide in his Prouerbes that wine comforteth and refresheth the hartes of men likewise it is witnessed by the cōsent and testimonie of all Phisitians as the most singular remedy to chase greefe from the mind of man But if peraduenture some misbeleeuing humanist will not giue so much credit to the worde of so great a wise man as to the precepts of auncient Phisitians let him then consider and note well what at this day is to be found written by Hippocrates Galen Oribasus that wine serueth for a medicine to the cold and dulled sinewes giueth comfort to the weary and trauailed eies bestoweth an appetite on the tast-lesse stomach reioyceth the sad and afflicted spirites banisheth the imbecillity of the members giueth warmth to the body prouoketh vrine restraineth casting moueth sleepe taketh away ill digestion consumeth moist humors and maketh a kindly consent in the bodie Galen saith moreouer that wine greatly auaileth against wearisome complexion of age moueth the harts of men to force and prowesse recreateth naturall heate and giueth vigor to the spirits O how well did that good Lady Hecuba of whom Homer speaketh so honourablie knowe the pretious nature of wine when aboue all things she exhorted her valiant sonne Hector to cheere vp and reuiue his members wearied by continuall trauaile he endured in Armes with drinking of this diuine liquor The vertue whereof learned Pindarus knew well enough which made him a peerelesse heroycall Poet neuer could he haue accomplished his so highe and excellent Poeme by the vertue and goodnes of water but changing his stile into the great praise noble description of the vertue of wine the chiefest most notable men in the worlde made likewise such price and
minding such matters For the poore sicke man considering that he is weake and diseased will preserue himselfe very dilligentlie from al manner of excesse and liue more soberly then can the stiffest and strongest composed bodies These kind of men are such to whom oftentimes it happeneth thorow the ouer-much fiercenesse of their good disposition and strength that boldlie or carelesly they oppose themselues againste a thousand greefes perils and daungers vsing meates prohibited for the health of man taking the corrupted ayre in the euening or else without any need will wander into tempests raine snow winde stormes and thus aduenture themselues from morning to night And the worse is their successe thorowe the confidence which they repose in their bodies which they feeling to be strong and lustie feare not without any discretion to fight heere with one there to smite an other spoile outrage and commit a thousand euils Then what recompence haue they for al these They fall into the rightfull hande of Iustice who without any regard of valour strength dexteritie parents or riches makes them miserablie and shamefully to finish their daies before their expected time It is then great folly to desire strength and health of body so earnestlie seeing it is the cause of so many mishaps were it not onely but in regarde of the warres which we should neuer beholde so cruell or fierce but by the confidence that men suppose to be in their health and bodily strength wherewith great and wise Lordes vse to iest at each other and make as small account thereof as of balles running along the pent-house of a Tennis court For Teares Declamation 11. That it is better to weepe often then to laugh at any time NOt without great occasion is it that I must assuredlie by good right confesse the mourner to bee in better estate then the laugher seeing Salomon in his most holy Prouerbes hath lefte vs in writing that it is better to sleepe and repose in the house of sorrowe then in that of ioy and pleasure By laughter many soules haue beene seuered from their bodies to the infinite greefe of their good friends but by sadnesse not one only which I euer heard of at any time departed but well pleased Laughter hath euermore beene perticularlie proper to fooles mouthes or people without sence And it is not read in any one place of the holye Scripture that our blessed Sauiour euer laughed at any time but that he wept and sorrowed is to be found in sundry passages of the good and faithfull Euangelistes For this cause hath he promised eternall felicity to such as mourne and them that laugh he hath menaced with death To weepe is a signe of penitence and compunction whereto we are often inuited and exhorted by the voices of the holy Prophets but laughter hath beene the cause of mocking it selfe as the euident signe of ouermuch boldnes If we would make regard of the commodities ensuyng by teares howe many disdaines and howe many rages haue beene qualified by one little teare of the eie How manie poore louers haue they vnited and confirmed together that before liued not but in langour distresse How many storming hearts fierce and cruell one against another haue they brideled softened made gentle How many great and honest recompences haue beene obtained and measured by the waight of teares I am of this opinion that all the force and puissance of men assembled together cannot so soon winne or compasse what it would haue as one only teare can yea oftentimes it hath conqueringly obtained grace euen from obstinate and moste pittilesse persons For proofe heereof Heraclitus was alwaies more esteemed for his weeping then euer was Democritus for his laughing See how many thinges worthy of eternall memorie Crassus by this vertue accomplished purchasing the name of a scorner of vanities If we should need to produce the profit of teares often weeping Let vs consider that while our bodies are but young and tender they make them to grow and encrease Wherefore many Nursses in regard heereof are not very hastie to quiet their infantes when they lie criyng in the Cradle but by these meanes suffer them to dilate and stretch forth their members for so they come to the suddener growth And if proofes should faile me against laughter I would content my selfe with this only of good Hyppocrates who hath left written that the diseases which ensue by accident of laughter without any manifest cause are the most difficult to be healed Let vs then set laughing apart seeing it bringeth such offence to man and agreeth not with his honestie and grauitie beside we finde not at this daie among so many lamentable ruines where any place or oportunity for laughing indeed may be graunted or suffered And let vs conclude that laughter wrinkles and makes olde the face counterfeits the person makes the heart ake woundeth the lungs inwards of the bellie so that after long laughing many greefs doe follow whereof we neuer make doubt till wee feele them So that if laughter bee not refrained it makes the pallat of the mouth to fall the throte sore the voice hoarse and oft times shakes the body verie greeuously VVherfore very excellently said the wise man that the end of laughter was greefe and teares which ordinarilie endureth more space of time hath a longer taile behinde it than euer had mourning But the end of continuall teares after this mortall life is ioy and perpetual delectation which neuer hath ending and such as are promised by him who is onely truth it selfe For Dearth Declamation 12. That Scarsitie is better than aboundance ANy man of common sence and opinion will assure yee that for the ease and better estate of his person as also continuance of his pleasures aboundance or earthly goods ought well to be had in request But for one voluptuous man ye shall finde of this opinion I will furnish yee with an hundred of very singular spirit and perfect iudgement that liberally will maintaine the fertillitie and aboundance of goodes in this worlde is the mother and nursse of all euils enemie to all modesty and honestie and cheefe aduersarie to sobrietie The good Lady of Henault bemoned the great Dearth which the turbulence of the warres had caused and among other thinges she wept for the fertillitie of the former yeares past when as she called to minde what store of corne and wines she had and that before a weeke would be past both shee and all hir house shoulde scant tell where to gette foode or drinke once a day But the sober and frugal Solon-nist saith well to the contrarie that the lesse store of victuals are in a contrey the lesse is the insolence of the inhabitāts who in time of aboundance disdain the seruice of their superiors then hath a man greater paine to get a seruant how poore soeuer or bad disposed he be then a man of wisedome well skilde in good letters Moreouer what else