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A09678 The praise of the gout, or, The gouts apologie A paradox, both pleasant and profitable. Written first in the Latine tongue, by that famous and noble gentleman Bilibaldus Pirckheimerus councellor vnto two emperours, Maximilian the first, and Charles the fift: and now Englished by William Est, Master of Arts.; Apologia seu podagrae laus. English Pirckheimer, Willibald, 1470-1530.; Est, William, 1546 or 7-1625. 1617 (1617) STC 19947; ESTC S114730 29,358 44

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reason enfeeble truth vanquish whatsoeuer sinister opinion malicious censure and false cauillation they shall forge against mee Truth for a time may be oppressed God so disposing for our punishment or tryall but finally suppressed it cannot be Truth is stronger then all falshood it is temporis filia the daughter of time and will at length preuaile Truth is simplex et nuda sed efficax et magna simple and naked but powerfull and strong splendet cum obscuratur vincit cùm opprimitur it shineth when it is darkned and ouercommeth when it is oppressed It was well said of that Father that Truth hath a double effect it is dulcis amara sweet and bitter quando dulcis est parcit quando amara curat when it is sweet it spareth when it is bitter it cureth And as wisely Aristotle Eos qui errant ad pauca respicere They that do erre haue an insight but into few things but that wee bee not deceiued euery circumstance which concerneth any matter is diligently to bee looked into and considered which if it be I doubt not but truth shall be of more validitie with you then the malice enuie and taunts of all men For I trust plainely to vnfold that all the blame and euils how many and how great soeuer which light vpon my aduersaries are not so much to bee ascribed vnto mee as to their owne licenciousnesse and vices Secondly That these euils if they be euils are not so grieuous but farre more tolerable then either they will or imagine And thirdly that I am the cause of much good and do bring many and great commodities vnto men Bee you not therefore O Iudges bee you not I say perturbed in mind or carried away with passions but quietly as you haue begun heare me I pray you with patience For if I proue not plainely what I haue promised it lieth in your power to condemne mee so shall you acquit your selues of all partiality and blame and for my part if I bee conuicted I will contentedly vndergoe whatsoeuer punishment you shall inflict vpon me But if I make good all that I haue spoken I desire that you will not so much respect me as be mindfull of your place and office that I may receiue such vpright sentence as the equity of my cause by law and right requireth But before I addresse my selfe to dissolue my aduersaries obiections I thinke it fit to answere first to euill report and rumor of the people For if thou be good will my enemies say and the cause of so much good vnto men what then is the cause that all men so egerly hate detest and abhorre thee For though Fame doth very often yet is it not wont alwaies to erre especially beeing so inueterate and euery where so frequent in the world And I againe would aske these iolly fellowes mine accusers Why doe Children hate their Schoole-masters though neuer so wise and learned Why doe wicked men contemne good Lawes Is it not because the Schoole-master laboureth to furnish the minds of his Schollers with good Arts and discipline that they may hereafter become the better men And Lawes are a bridle to curbe the insolencie of badde men to restraine them within the limits of their duty that they dare not commit what villanie they would Epictetus was wont to say Aegrisernator est medieus iniuriam passi lex The Physicion is a preseruer of the sick and the refuge for the wronged is the Law Except the Lawes as Anacharsis once said may bee compared to the Spiders webbe which catch and insnare onely the little weake flies when the great Drones and strong ones break the net and escape a thing much to bee lamented But to returne from whence I haue digressed it followeth not that the Schoole-master should be euill because hee is hated of Children neither that the Lawes should be blamed and reiected because they are abhord of lewd Luskes and vaine Varlets euen the worst kind of men but wee must hold that children want iudgement and do censure of Discipline and good Institution as they whose Palate is corrupt and infected with a feuer are wont to doe of their meat and drinke and vicious men polluted with all filthinesse wish that there were no Lawes that there might bee no hinderance to with-hold them from running boldly in their execrable and desperate courses Hee is not therefore to be reputed euill which of a multitude but he that is iustly and that of good men condemned neither is he presently to be counted a good man who by many voices is extolled but he that deserueth praise from the mouth of honest and wise men And the witnesse of Conscience is more comfortable then the vulgar breath but herein I rest satisfied with this saying of the Reuerend Seneca Malè de me loquuntur sed mal● mouerer si de me Marcus Cato si Lalius sapiens si duo Scipienes ista loquerentur nunc malis displicere laudari est They speake euill of me but they are euill men if Marcus Cato Wise Lalius the two Scipt●●s should speake this of me I should be moued but to be dispraised of the wicked is a praise to a man For seeing the number of wicked men doth euery where exceed none by their iudgement shall be good for they will commend none but such as are like themselues but so far off should wise men be from accounting the iudgement of the insulse vulgar sort to be of any moment that in their estimate they should bee of the best men of whom the multitude speake worst and traduce most as contrariwise they the vilest men and of basest esteeme for the most part whom popular applause extolleth to the clouds as the wise Plato rightly iudged Whoso pleaseth euery humor is worthy suspition yea though he maketh a faire shew of Vertue Let mine aduersaries therefore cease to obiect vnto mee these frantick rumors and rather blame themselues which are the cause of such paine and torments to themselues as worthily they suffer For they so liue nay they so drinke they so plunge themselues in riot and wallow in deliciousnesse that they draw compell and hasten mee to come into their company and to dwell with them euen against my will For seldome come I of mine owne accord but most commonly by constraint as enforced I attend vpon them If then I were the plague of man-kind as they would haue it I should not afflict certaine men but all without difference but so farre am I from hurting all men that I willingly decline from many for I take no pleasure in those hard rough rusticke agresticke kind of people which neuer are at rest but alwaies exercise their bodie with hard labours are euer moyling and toyling which seldome or neuer giue themselues to pleasure which endure hunger which are content with a slender diet the Water often quencheth their thirst haue bad cloathing and worse lodging fare hard
THE PRAISE OF the GOVT Or The GOVTS Apologie A Paradox both pleasant and profitable Written first in the Latine tongue by that famous and noble Gentleman Bilibaldus Pirckheimerus Councellor vnto two Emperours Maximilian the first and Charles the fift And now Englished by William Est Master of Arts. Omne tulit punctum qui miscuit vtile dulci Lectorem delectando pariterque monendo Hor. de art Poet. LONDON Printed by G. P. for Iohn Budge and are to be sold at his shop in Pauls Church-yard at the signe of the greene Dragon 1617. TO THE RIGHT Worshipfull Sir BERNARD GRENVILE Knight my very good Patron sauing health in CHRIST IESVS * ⁎ * Right Worshipfull THe florishing Almond tree hauing displayed her siluer colours on my temples and brought forth her argent blossomes the strong men bowing themselues the Grashopper beginning to bee a burthen as that mirror of Wisedome aenigmatically describeth old age might perhaps plead a supersedeas for me to say with the Poet Solue senescentem maturè sanus equum Thy horse with age and toyle opprest Let loose betime to take some rest This hath enforced mee to retire my selfe a little and to thinke vpon some conuenient recreation whereby my drooping spirits being refreshed I might be able with the more alacrity to vndergoe the burthen of these graue studies which my function incessantly requireth In the interim this little booke chancing into my hands I perused it and finding it to containe matter of pleasure and profite I thought it a fit subiect for my exercise to employ these tempora succisma sublecundaria which I could spare or steale from my grauer studies in the translating of it into the English tongue taking more delight in these ludicris literatijs then in any other recreations what soeuer which might yeeld vnto mee lesse profit or content It was first penned and published in the Latine tongue by that famous learned Noble man Bilibaldus Pirckheimerus sometime Councellor vnto two mighty Emperors Maximilian the first and Charles the fift and by them employed in diuers weighty affaires of the Empire among forraine Princes which he managed with great wisedome and credit Hee was for the space of many yeeres pestered with the force of Dame Podagras furie and repented that he was deluded or rather befooled by foolish Physicians to vse his owne words in his Epistle Quod stultus ego à stultis persuasus medicis c. That as a foole perswaded by foolish Physicians I abstained in vaine for the space of 7. yeeres from the vse of all wines and that in my often trauailes and Ambassages when I was constrained to follow my Souereigne Lord Caesar Maximilian and sometimes through these Countries where the waters were corrupt and contagious sed tandem resipui but at last I became more wise and found more ease c. What I haue done in the translation he that will compare the Latine Copie with this may easily perceiue what was superfluous I haue pruned what was vitio Impressoris defectiue I haue supplyed some things as little pertinent I haue changed for other more agreeable for these times c. If any curious carping Criticke as that malicious Rufus shall obiect that such a subiect beseemeth not my grauity let such know that I herein follow the example of great learned men of which one hath written in the praise of Tyrannie another of Baldnesse another of the Feuer and that famous Clarke Erasmus of the prayse of foolishnesse and shewed therein great accutenesse of wit and not the least of their learning You see here that men of eminent gifts in all kinde of literature haue thought it no disparagement Ineptiendo non inconcinnè nugari and to haue linked pleasure and profit together for Omne tulit punctum qui miscuit vtile dulci. For my part as a Translator I haue but taught Dame Podagra to speake English and do send her abroad in a new suite out of her worky daies clothes to apologize for her selfe Humbly submitting both my selfe and my labours to your Worships censure and good liking which to me shall be instar omnium as the iudgement of all men Oro clementi aspicias munuscula vultu Quae lusi nuper postponens seria ludis And so I commit your Worship to the Almighties protection incessantly beseeching him from my very heart euer to defend and free you from the force of Podagras disease Your Worships in all dutifull obseruance to command William Est THE PRAISE OF THE GOVT Or The GOVTS Apologie I Am not ignorant most reuerend and vpright Iudges how difficult a thing it is and full of hatred to roote an opinion out of mens minds beeing once conceiued and now of long time inueterate especially of the Incondite rude and vnlearned vulgar which are not so much led by reason as carried by a certaine violence and impetuous rage which the Greeks aptly call 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to iudge of things No maruell then if wanting discretion without difference rashly they giue sentence For how can there proceed any right iudgement when Folly captiuates Wisedome Rashnesse rules Reason Impotencie of mind cashires counsell Wherefore I greatly reioyce that now at length time is offered and liberty granted me to answer and refell the slanders and obiections of the franticke vulgar sort mine enemies that to my griefe I heare not my selfe alwaies traduced and be neuer permitted freely to speake for my selfe Though it not onely toucheth mee but as I suppose it concerneth you also O yee Iudges that none vpon abare accusation only without hearing should bee conuicted and perish For if it bee sufficient for euery varlet to accuse what good man then can be innocent and vncondemned Not without cause therefore your serene aspect a signe of clemencie and mildnesse and this frequent and renowmed assemblie doth so recreate and cheere vp my spirits that I cast out of my mind all suspition of feare or partiality For why should I feare seeing my cause is to bee heard before you whose Wisedome whose Integrity whose Innocency is such that I ought not only not to suspect but also to hope for at your hands whatsoeuer shall be iust honest and right and shal be thought worthy of your estimation wisedome and credit But before I begin to lay open my cause I shall craue so much fauour at your hands most clement Iudges that with good leaue and attention you will bee pleased to heare mee to the end permit me to keepe mine own order of speaking and suspend your sentence vntill I come to the Epilogue and conclusion of my speech Againe if you haue conceiued any displeasure hatred or indignation against mee that ye put it off lay it aside cast it away and haue respect not so much to the calumnies of my aduersaries or mine own person as to the equity of my cause And that yee will not bee offended if my speech shall rase out
Phthiriasis the Mentagra the Leprosie and a number such like diseases which are rebellious and refuse all cure and neuer forsake a man but with his life but I am sometimes quiet I giue ouer and grant a long pause and rest to my subiects like a good Husband-man who is wont to vnyoke is wearied Oxen and permitteth them to bee refreshed with rest and good pasture Againe I am so gracious vnto them knowing them for the most part to be of an haughty and proud heart and to stand much vpon their Generositie I satisfie their humour so far that I become an Heraldesse vnto them and doe blaze their armes fitted to their nature and permit them Oneris causa honoris I would say we Feminines be bad Grammarians to make ostentation openly of their ancient family and descent which they euer carrie in their faces and this is the cause that you should see their foreheads decked with painted pustulls their noses adorned with precious pyropes vpon their cheekes they beare curious wrought Carbuncles and such like Escochions that you may know that their birth is not base and obscure Besides I am not so hurtfull as some affirme as it plainly appeareth by this That no man is much grieued when he heareth his friend to be taken with the Gout but is rather merrie he commeth vnto him laugheth iesteth hee presenteth him with some pretie gifts sitteth by him talketh pleasantly and as it were congratulateth with him as doe also his kinde neighbours which come daily to visite him which surely they would neuer doe if I were so dangerous troublesome and hurtfull as they pretend for there is no man when he heareth his friend to be affected with any incurable Maladie that will laugh sport and iest but rather weepe and be sad for how can he be a friend that laugheth at the misery of a friend and if men laugh at me they plainly shew that they think me on t to be the plague of humane kinde Againe marke I beseech you my gentle and louing proceedings with my subiects first before I afflict them I warne them by touching a little their great toe telling plainly If they refraine not from contrary meates keepe not a good dyet but inuite me by their intemperancy I will pinch them to the quicke and like Proteus alter my forme and name I will possesse the whole foote only and then my name is Podagra If they will take no warning but wallow in their ryot I will then proceed farther strike harder and come vp to knee and then I will bee called Genugra if they still giue a deafe eare and not leaue to prouoke mee I will bee the Sciatica in their hippes then the Chyragra in their hands and lastly I will whip them indeed and bee PANTA PERI PANTON and possesse their whole body so that they shall haue little ioy to sing the Epicures song Viuite Lurcones Comedones viuite ventres Ye Spend-thrifts Tospots Belli-gods liue ye be lustie This being so how can men iustly accuse me which so louingly warne them and bid them beware for hee that is well warned is halfe armed Againe when I begin being so often called vpon to infest any body you shal see the whole company of his friends flocking vnto him not to trouble him with distastefull cauills but to recreate his mind with pleasant discourses as congerrones lepidissimi spend the day in mirth which would neuer be if I the causer of this pleasure were away By this which I haue sayd it is manifest that there is no man of so obtuse and dull conceit but plainely seeth that mine enemies do not only vniustly accuse me but also shew themselues to be the bruers of their owne bane and if there be any fault in me it is farre lesse then they thinke or would haue it But now for my kind slaue M. Muck-worme that I may not passe him ouer without a name the couetous Caitife that Churle I meane that cunning Chymist that hath the skill to conuert euery thing into gold who hath studied all his life the blacke Art to coniure coyne by all meanes into the circle of his purse he will not heare the complaints of the poore for he is deafe to the cries of his owne belly hee wrinkleth his owne skin and contracts his owne corps that he may keepe me out hee hath long stolne from many and now hee is become a plaine Rob-thiefe and stealeth from himselfe Now because this slaue keepeth his coine to look on only and not to vse putteth the best metall in his coffer and the worst meate into his mouth so crosseth pride which holdeth the dearest things the best that he counteth nothing good for his stomake but what is cheapest and that he may not diminish his stock to saue charges denieth wholsom alimēts to his own body and feedeth on grosse flesh watrish herbes and roots fusty musty mixed mity mouldy meats all his exercise is to sit in his Counting-house and to looke vpon his Nouerints or in the chimney corner poring in an Almanacke to presage a dearth and in a plentifull yeere would euen hang himself with sorrow were it not for charges to buy an halter and is already the diuels Lacky I will also make him my slaue for his liuer being by such dyet corrupted his bloud putrified infinit crudities increased I will prepare a seate in his sinewes for me to fit I will minister iustice in his ioints and send him speedily to his blacke master Pluto to dwell in Acheron for euer but inough of this I haue long abused your patience with vnpleasant discourse now to make amends I wil proceed to a more pleasing subiect and speake of the commodities and profit which I am wont to cause vnto men only I shall request you ô ye Iudges as hitherto yee haue done to giue an attentiue care to what I shall say I deny not that to many I seeme very troublesome and grieuous but if they would rightly consider they should verily finde many good things which by my meanes they enioy which were it not through my benefit they should want How many I pray you for my sake are honored to whom no man els would giue the way for as soone as they see me a companion with any euery man giueth place lest they should throng or hurt me yea though they be farre my betters both by age and condition Many ride stately in Coaches or are carried on horse-back which were it not for me might goe on foote I am willed oftentimes euen before Kings and great States to sit when all other doe stand yea many times when I ioine my selfe with Noble men for commonly I neuer depart from such Princes themselues cause their seruants to bring me a stoole or chaire when otherwise I might stand long inough Consider ô Iudges whether these things be not of high esteeme and request with all men which all men desire which