than Master Mousche or flie These beastes forget some times their gouernours speciallie if they change their habite or attire hee shall not bee ill parted with if hee come to his pretentions whereto you Monsieur the Lieutenant and Monsieur of Lyons will doe him I beleeue very good offices The whole summe Messieurs you are too many dogges to gnawe one boane you are iealous and enuious one of another and you can neuer tell how to agree or liue without warre that would put vs into worse estate than before But I will tell you let vs doe Deepe counsell as they haue done in the consistorie for the election or choyse of a holy father when two Cardinals sued and laboured for the popedome the other Cardinals for feare they should incurre the hatred of the one or of the other chose one amongst themselues the weakest backed of them all and made him Pope Let vs doe so you are foure or fiue robbers in the realme all great Princes and such as haue no want of appetite and stomacke I am of aduise that not one of you should be king wherefore I giue my voyce to Guillot Fagotin the keeper of Gentilly a good vine dresser and an honest man who singeth well at the deske A worthie example and knoweth all his office or seruice booke by heart This will not be found without example in such times as this is witnesse the Harelle of Roane where they made king one named le Grasse or the fatte one as wee would say who was much worse aduised than Guillot And thus you see whereupon I founde and grounde mine aduise I haue read sometimes the great and diuine Philosopher Plato who saith that those realmes are happie where Philosophers are kings and where kings are Philosophers Now I know that it is little more than three yeares since that this good gardian of Gentilly and his familie together with his kine meditated day and night Philosophie in a ball of our colledge in which there is more than two hundred good yeares that men haue read and treated and disputed publikely philosophie and all Aristotle The place sanctifieth the person with these men in all matters and all fortes of good morall bookes It is not possible that this good man hauing raued slumbred and slept so many dayes and nights within these philosophicall walles where there haue been made so many skillfull lessons and disputes and so many goodly wordes vttered that there should not something thereof abide that hath entred pierced and penetrated into his braine as it did to the poet Hesiodus when hee had slept vpon mount Parnassus And this is the cause why I persist and meane that he may as well be king as another Now as Monsieur Roze ended these wordes there sprong out a great murmuring amongst the deputies some approuing other some reprouing his opinion and the princes and the princesses were seene to whisper in the eare one of another yea it was hard that Monsieur the Lieutenant saide very basely to the Legate A prophesie and no lie this foole here will marre all our misterie Notwithstanding the foresaid Roze would haue continued his speech but when hee sawe the noyse to begin againe with a certaine generall clacking of hands he rose vp in choler and cried with a very loude and outstretched voyce How now Messieurs Is it permitted here to speake what one thinketh Haue not I libertie to speake and conclude my arguments as Monsieur of Lyon hath done I know well that if I had been a courtier as he I should not haue named a person for he hath charge from the clergie to name Countie du Bouchage Frier Angell for the hope that this Prince louing change would change also our miseries into stroakes or blowes from heauen But I pray you keepe him to be are the golden torch in the battailes for it ought to be enough for him that he hath quite forsaken the bagge and the wallet At these wordes euery one began againe to crie to whistle to hisse and though the heraulds the vshers porters and all cried aloude Hush and be still the word peace is a bull-begger let euery man holde his tongue not daring to speake the worde peace there and that Monsieur the Lieutenant sundrie times commaunded them to make silence yet it was not possible to appease the bruite and noise in so much that the sayd Lord Rector sweate fret fomed and stroke with his foote and seeing that there was no more meane to take his theame againe cryed as loude as hee could Messieurs Messieurs I see well that you are in the Court of King Petault where euery one is master I leaue it to you and you to your selues let another speake I haue spoken And thereupon he set himselfe downe againe mumbling very much and wiping the sweate from his forehead and there scaped from him as some say certaine odoriferant belchings of the stomacke that smelled of the perfume of his choller with certain words in a low note Good stuffe but there can come nothing els from thece complaining that they had defrauded the assignation sent out of Spayne for my masters the Doctors and that others had made their profite of it but that this was the gold of Tholouze which should cost them very dearely At the last the rumour beginning a little to bee reappeased Monsieur du Rieu the younger Countie and gardien or keeper of Pierre-font deputie for the Nobilitie of France apparrelled with a little cape after the Spanish fashion and a certaine high coppin tancked hat lifted vp himselfe to speake and hauing twise or thrise put his hand to his throate which did itch he began in forme following The Oration of the Lord of Rieu Lord of Perrierefont for the nobilitie of the vnion Or Roration rather as you shall perceiue by the things contained herein and the manner of the handling thereof MEssieurs I knowe no cause why they haue deputed me to beare the word in so good a companie for all the Nobilitie on our side I must needes say that there is some diuine thing or matter in the holy vnion seeing that by the meanes thereof of a commissarie of the artillerie poore miserable enough I am become a gentleman and the gouernour of a very faire fortressc yea that I may equall my selfe to the greatest and am one day to mount very high either backward or otherwise I haue good occasion to followe you Monsieur the Lieutenant and to doe seruice to this noble assemblie by black or by white He dwelleth by euill neighbours by wrong or by right seeing that all the poore Priests Friers and good people deuout Catholikes I assure you doe bring mee candles and adore mee as a S. Maccabee of times passed This is the cause wherefore I giue my selfe to the liueliest and quickest of the diuels that if any of my gouernment thrust in himselfe to speak of peace I runne vpon him as
them to content there withall their owne bad spirit of euill speaking which some of them thought to bee the chiefe goodnes And there are great numbers of them found in our countrie of Parresie who loue rather to lose a good friend then a good word or a merrie iest applied well to the purpose Wherfore it is not without cause that they haue intituled this little discourse by the name Satyre though that it be written in prose being yet notwithstanding stuffed and stored with gallant Ironies pricking notwithstanding and biting the very bottome of the consciences of them that feele themselues nipped therewithall concerning whom it speaketh nothing but trueth but on the other side making those to burst with laughter that haue innocent hearts and are well assured that they haue not strayed from the good right way As concerning the adiectiue Menippized it is not new or vnusuall for it is more then sixteene hundred yeares agoe that Varro called by Quintillian and by S. Augustine the most skilfull amongst the Romanes made Satyres of this name also which Macrobius sayth were called Cyniquized and Menippized to which he gaue that name because of Menippus the Cynicall Philosopher who also had made the like before him al ful of salted iestings poudred merie conceits of good words to make men to laugh and to discouer the vicious mē of his time And Varro imitating him did the like in prose as since his time there hath done the like Petronius Arbiter Luciā in the Greek tongue since his time Apuleius and in our age that good fellow Rabelaiz who hath passed all other men in contradicting others and pleasant conceits if hee would cut off from them some quodlibetarie speeches in tauernes and his salt and biting words in alehouses Wherefore I cannot tell what manner of men these daintie ones are that thinke some doe euill that according to the example of these great personages ment to giue vnto a like worke a like title vnto that of theirs which is now become common and as we say appellatiue whereas before it was proper and particular as not long time since a learned Flemming and a good Antiquarian hath vsed the same And this is al that I can tell you in this respect If you desire any other thing I will tell you my aduise or opinion Then sayd I vnto him I am sufficiently satisfied as touching the title but there is very great disputation amongst some what the author should meane by these tearmes Higuiero of hell for there are very many persons that knowe not what it meaneth and make thereof sundrie horned and ill fauoured interpretations such as in my minde the author himselfe neuer thought of I knowe very well sayd he that there are diuers that desire to play about the affinitie of the words some to make themselues merrie therewith and others to draw the author into enuie but there is much oddes betweene eight and eighteene and a great difference betweene breathing and whistling I haue heard my cousin a hundred times say and I knowe it also as well as hee that Higuiero of hell signifieth no other thing in the Castillian or Spanish tongue but the Figge tree of hell For the Spanyards as also the Gascoignes turne the F into H as hazer harina hijo hogo higo for faire that is to do farine meale fils a sonne feu fire figue a figge And this at this time is but too common in Paris where the women haue learned to speake as well as to doe after the Spanish manner Where he sayth then that the drugge of the Spanish Iugler or Apothecarie was called Higuiero of hell it is for diuers reasons First because the figge tree is a wicked and an infamous tree the leaues whereof as we may see in the Bible haue serued heretofore to couer the priuie parts of our first parents after that they had sinned and committed high treason against their God their father and creator euen as the Leaguers to couer their disobedience and ingratitude against their King and him that hath done thē all good haue taken the Catholigue Apostoligue and Romane religion and thinke therewith to hide their shame and sinne This is the cause also why the Catholicon of Spayne that is to say the pretext which the King of Spayne and the Iesuites and other preachers wonne by the double duckets of Spayne haue giuen to the seditious and ambitious Leaguers to rebell against their naturall and lawfull King and to fall away from him and to make in their owne countrie warre more dangerous than ciuill may very properly bee called the Figge tree of hell in steed that that wherewith Adam and Eue did couer their open sinne was the Figge tree of Paradise And euer since that time this tree hath alwaies been accursed and of euill name amongst men bearing neither flowers nor any buddes nor any thing els to garnish it withall and the very fruite it selfe hath from thence been drawne to name the most dishonest part of women and the most filthie and foule disease that breedeth in the parts that wee cannot well name You are not ignorant of this also that the ancient people did account this tree amongst the gibbets or gallowses as for example whē Timon the Athenian would haue plucked vp one of them that did him some anoyance in his garden and whereupon sundrie had in former time been hanged he caused to bee proclaimed with the sound of a trumpet that if any were willing to be hanged he should dispatch and come thither quickly because he ment to cause it to bee pulled vp by the rootes Plinie teacheth vs that this tree hath not any sent or sauor no more hath the League Againe that it easily casteth her fruite and so hath the League done that it receiueth all manner of corruptions as the League hath receiued all sortes of people and that it doth not last or liue long no more hath the League done and that the greatest part of the fruite which appeareth at the beginning neuer commeth to ripenes no more hath that of the League But that which yet better agreeth with it and hath many more conformities with the League than S. Frauncis hath with our Lord is the Figge tree of the Indies which the very Spanyards themselues haue named the Figge tree of hell Concerning which Mathiolus sayth thus much for truth that if a man cut but onely one leafe from it and set but the one halfe thereof within the ground it will take roote there and afterwards vpon that leafe there will growe an other leafe and so leaues growing vpon leaues this plant becommeth hie as it were a tree without bodie stalke branches and as it were without rootes in so much that we may reckon it amongst the miracles of nature Is there any thing so like and so much resembling the League which of one leafe that is to say of a very small beginning is become by little and little from one
enough to couer the doore of the entrie or cōming in there was tacked vnto it halfe a peece of the Apotheosis or canonization of the foure Euangelists and Martyrs Saints Louchard Ameline Anroux and Aymonnot making a long letter or writing at their feet was writtē these 4. verses You crack ropes lewd wicked mē that Iudges hang on hie Impunitie vnto your selues you doe pretend thereby But you ought cleane the cōtrarie attēd wait again Awicked wretch neuer yet could put his righteous Iudge to pain The twelfth and the last neere vnto the windowes did containe at length and that very well drawne the portraiture of Monsieur the Lieutenant attired as Hercules Gallicus holding in his hand innumerable bridles wherwith also there were haltered mousled calues colts without number Ouer his head as if it had bin a clowd there was anymph which had a writing cōtaining these words Looke that you play the calfe A goodly poesie promise And from the mouth of the said Lord Lieutenant there issued another wherein were written these proper termes I will doe it And this is that as neere as I was able to obserue and marke it which was in the sayd tapistrie As concerning the benches seates where Messieurs or my Lords the Estates should sit they were couered al with tapistrie be sprinkled with little crosses of the Lorraines some blacke and some red and with armes parted in two of true and false argent the whole being more emptie then full for the honour of the feast Touching the order held and obserued for their seates or places AFter that the assembly was entred somewhat forward within the great hall drawing neere vnto the steps where the cloath or chaire of estate was exalted and the chaires were prepared there was place assigned to euerie one by a Herault of armes intituled Courte ioy A fine fiction for the same or as we say short ioy S. Denis who called them very lowd three times together after this manner Monsieur the Lieutenant Monsieur the Lieutenant Monsieur the Lieutenant of the estate and Crowne of France come vp on high into this kingly throane in the place of your master Monsieur the Legate place your selfe at his side Madame representing the Queene Mother or the grandmother set your selfe on the other side Monsieur the Duke of Guise Peere of the Lieutenancie of the estate and Crowne of France place your selfe very finely the first for this time without preiudice or dammage of your right to come It may be it shall neuer be so againe Monsieur the most reuerend Cardinal of Pelue Peere though but for a while of the Lieutenancie place your selfe right ouer against him but at no hand forget your Calepin or Dictionarie Madame the Dowager of Montpensier as a Princeste of your estate seate your selfe vnder your nephew Madame the Lieutenant of the Lieutenancie of the estate without preiudice of your pretenses claimes set your selfe ouer against her Monsieur d'Aumale Constable Peere of the Lieutenancie aduaunced into Peereship by reason of your Countie of Boulongne place your selfe side to side by the most reuerend Cardinall but beware that you rend not his cope with your great spurres High and mightie Countie of Chaligny that haue this honour to haue Monsieur the Lieutenant for your younger brother take your place and feare no more Chiquot that is dead Monsieur the Primat of Lyons and without doubt he that shal be Cardinall of the vnion and now is Peere Chancellor of the Lieutenancie He kept her as his concubine leaue your sister there and come hither to take your place in order Monsieur de Bussie the Clerke heretofore the great penitentiarie of the Parliament and now the great Steward spirituall of the towne and castle of Paris set your selfe at the feete of Monsieur that Lieutenant as the great Chamberlaine of the Lieutenancie Monsieur de Saulsay Peere and great Master of the Lieutenancie Yea of a better for default of another take this staffe and goe very gently to sit in this soft seate prepared for you And you Messieurs the Marshals of the Lieutenancie de Rosne Dom Diego Bois-daulphin and Seignior Cornelio loe here is a bench for you foure sauing that you may bee augmented or diminished if the case so fall out and require the same Messieurs the Secretaries of the Estate Marteau Pericard de Pottes and Nicolas A tall man belike this fourme below is for you foure if Monsieur Nicolas buttocks or breech can reach so high Monsieur de S. Paul Countie of Rethelois but yet vnder the title of hiring it and hauing it at a price come not so nigh Monsieur de Guise least you ouetheate him but keepe your selfe nigh to the Lord de Rieux Messieurs the Ambassadors of Spayne Naples Lorraine and Countie of Bourgongne this bench on the lest hand is for you and the bench on the right hand appoynted for the Ambassadors of England Portugall Venice the Lords Counties and Princes of Germanie Suisserland and Italie and are absent or appeare not shall be for the Ladies and Damosels according to the date of their impression Furthermore let all the deputies take place according to their pensions And this was almost the sitting of Messieurs the Estates all without disputation or debating Churchmen striue for high places by reason of the great presences sauing that the warden of the Franciscane Friers and the Prior of the Iacobins made some small protestation which of them should goe formost but Madame de Montpensier rising vp A goodly drudge and a worthie reason of conclusion gaue the first place to the Prior of the Iacobins for remembrance as she sayd of S. Iaques Clement There was also a little garboyle betweene my Ladies of Belin and of Bussie by reason that the one of them hauing let goe a certaine euil pseudcatholike winde Madame de Belin spake very loudly and loftily to Ladie Bussie Let vs go Mistris Proctoresse the taile doth befume vs you come hither belike to perfume the crosses of Lorraine But Monsieur the great Master of Saulsay hearing this noyse knowing the cause thereof cried vnto them holding his staffe in his hand Good words Mesdames ye come not hither to trouble and disquiet our estates It is an euill bird that defileth his owne neast as mine owne sister not long time since daunced the galliard of the late king in this very hall it selfe The noise being pacified and the ill sent or sauour past Monsieur the Lieutenant began to speake after this manner with the great silence and attention of Messieurs the Estates The speech of Monsieur the Lieutenant MEssieurs you shall all be witnesses that since I haue taken armes for the holy League I haue alwayes had mine owne preseruation in such great recommendation and respect No lye that I haue with a very good heart courage continually preferred mine owne particular interest
of the goodliest mummeries that euer were feene Wee haue caused to bee sowen vnder hand and that throughout all France the Catholicon of Spayne yea some such Doublons or double Duckets as haue had meruailous effects euen to the blew politike cords What could I haue done more but to giue my selfe to the diuels for the pledge and aduancement of Hyrie as I haue done Reade Iosephus bookes touching the warres of the Iewes for that is as it were such another fact as ours is and iudge whether those hote fellowes Simon and Iohn haue had more inuentions and disguisements of their matters to make stiffe and obstinate the poore people of Ierusalem to dye thorowe the rage of famine then I haue had to caufe to dye with the same death a hundred thousand soules within this citie of Paris yea to proceed so farre that the mothers should cate their owne children as they did in that holie citie Reade this historie I pray you and for the cause aboue specified and ye shall finde that I haue not spared any more then they did the most holie reliques and things of greatest vse in the Church that I could cause to bee molten for my affayres I haue a hundred times broken my faith particularly sworne to my friends kindred that I might come to that which I desired without making shewe of it and my cousin the Duke of Lorraine and the Duke of Sauoy knowe well what to say concerning this poynt whose affayres I haue alwayes set behinde the cause of the French Church and mine owne matters And as touching publique faith I haue alwayes supposed that the ranke or degree which I holde did sufficiently dispense with me therefore and the prisoners which I haue held with mee or caused to pay raunsome against my promise or against their composition that I made with them cannot any whit at all vpbrayd me because I haue absolution for it from my great amner and confessor I will not speake of the voyages which I haue caused to me made against the Biarnois to astonish and at once to amaze him where I neuer thought it The cunningest on my side haue been imbarqued therein and haue felt nothing thereof but the freshnes of the rasor Neither should this displease Ville-roy who went not thereto but in good faith as you may beleeue I haue indeede allured others that bragge not of it neither and who haue treated for me to two diuers ends or purposes as well to hasten forward our friends to succour vs as to astonish and amaze our enemies with mustard And if the Biarnois would haue beleeued some one or other of his Councell who haue a graine of this Catholicon vpon their tongue and who haue alwayes cryed out that they must make nothing more sharpe for feare of making all desperate wee should now haue faire play in stead that we see the people euen of themselues disposed to wish and demaund peace a thing that wee ought all of vsto feare more then death and I for my part would loue a hundred times better to become a Turke or a Iewe with the good grace and leaue of our holy father then to see these same relapsed heretikes to returne and to enioy their goods Long prescription which you and I now enioy and that by iust title and good faith a yeare and a day and aboue to O God my friends what will become of vs if we must render all back againe If I must returne to my old condition how shall I maintaine my plate and my gards Must I passe thorow the Secretaries and treasurers of the Exchequer and warriors altogether new fellowes wheras ours passe thorowe mine owne hands Let vs dye yea let vs dye rather then come there It is a braue buriall euen the ruine and destruction of so great a kingdome as this is vnder which it is better for vs to be buried if we be not able to graspe or catch that which is aboue There was neuer man that ascended so high as I am that would come downe but by hie force There are many gates to enter into the power which I haue but there is but one onely issue to get out of it and that is death This is the cause why I seeing that a heape of politikes that are amongst vs would offer vnto vs the head of their peace and of their French monarchie haue aduised my selfe to present vnto them a maske and mummerie of the Estates after that I had differred it as long as I could to illude and make to waxe cold the present pursuites of their deputies and I haue called you here together with you to giue order thereto to turne ouer together their quiers that so I may know where the disease holdeth them and who are our friends and who are our enemies But yet not to lye vnto you herein A mā of good conscience I doe it for no other purpose then to shut vp their beakes and bils and to make them beleeue that we trauaile very much for the publike good and minde very willingly to make an agreement for the good people notwithstanding all this shall not pisse much better contented I know there are none here but our friends no more thē there was in the Estates at Blois by cōsequent I assure my selfe that al of you would do as much for me as for euery one of you namely that I or some one Prince of our house might be King If you be not deceiued and you shall finde that the best for you Yet so it is that this cannot be done so soone and there is yet a Masse to bee sayd and there must be made a great breach in the kingdome because it will be conuenient that we giue a good part of it to them that should helpe vs in this busines On the other side you well foresee the daungers and inconueniences of peace which setteth all things in order and yeeldeth right to whom it appertaineth and therefore it is much better to hinder it then to thinke of it And concerning my selfe I sweare vnto you A holie and religious oath by the deare and welbeloued head of mine eldest sonne that I haue no veine that reacheth not thereto and I am as farre from that as the earth is from heauen for although I haue made shewe by my last declaration by my subsequent answer that I do desire the conuersion of the King of Nanarre I pray you to beleeue that I desire nothing lesse and that I loue rather to see my wife my nephew and all my cousins and kinsfolkes dead then to see this Biarnois at Masse that is not the place where I itch I haue not written and published it but with a purpose and deuise euen no otherwise then Monsieur the Legate maketh his exhortation to the French people And all those escripts or writings which Monsieur of Lions hath made and will make concerning that subiect or matter are not
and tyrannie But I cannot discourse vpon this poynte but with very great griese to see things in the estate in which they are in comparison of that they were then At that time euery one had yet corne in his garner and wine in his seller euery one had his vessell of siluer or plate as we call it his tapistrie and his costly moueables the women had then their girdles halfe of siluer the reliques were hole and sound they had not so much as touched the iewels of the crowne But now who is there that can boast that he hath whereof to liue for three weekes vnles it be these the eues and robbers that haue made themselues fat with the wealth of the people and that haue on all hands pilled and polled the moueables both of present and absent Haue we not by little and little consumed all our prouisions sould our moueables molten our vessell and pledged all that wee haue to the garments on our backs to liue not onely poorely but verie wretchedly and caytife like Where are our halles and our chambers so well garnished and so decked with diaper and tapistrie Where are our feastes and bankets and our licorous and daintie tables Loe we are brought to milke and white cheese like the Swissers Our bankets are of a bitte of biefe yea the biefe of a cowe for all the messes and seruices wee were wont to haue and happie is he that hath not eaten the flesh of horses and of dogges and happie is hee that alwaies hath had oaten bread and coulde make a little paste of it with the broath of brawne sold at the corner of the streetes in the places where heretofore they did sell the delicious and daintie tongues young quailes and legges of mutton And it hath not been long of Monsieur the Legate and of the Embassador Mendoza that we haue not eaten our fathers bones as the sauage and wilde people of new Spayne doe If he can he is a man of no sense Can any man thinke of or remember all these things without teares and without horror And they that in their conscience knowe well inough that they are the cause thereof can they heare speake of these things without blushing and without apprehending the punishment that God reserueth for them for so many euils and mischiefes whereof they are authors Yea when they shall represent vnto themselues the images of so many poore citizens as they haue seene fallen in the streetes all starke and stone dead through famine the little infants and sucking babes to die at the breasts of their languishing mothers drawing the breast for nothing and not finding what to sucke the better sorte of the inhabitants and the souldiers to goe through the towne leaning vpon a staffe pale and feeble more white and more wanne than images of stone resembling rather ghosts than men If they be so good how bad are the rest and the inhumaine and discourteous answer of some euen of the Ecclesiasticall persons who accused them and threatned them in steed of succouring or comforting them Was there euer barbarousnes or crueltie like to that which we haue seene and indured Was there euer tyrannie and domination matchable to that which we see and indure Where is the honour of our vniuersitie Where are the colledges Where are the schollers Where are the publike readings and lectures to which people did run from all the partes of the world Bookes turned into blades a good change Where bee the religious students in the couents They haue all taken armes and beholde they are become all of them vnruly and wicked souldiers Where are our chasses Where are our precious reliques Some of them are molten and eaten vp other some are buried in the grounde for feare of robbers and sacreligious persons Where is that reuerence that men caried once to the people of the Church or Clergie and to the sacred mysteries The diuell a lie it is Euery one now maketh a religion after his owne manner and diuine seruice serueth for no other vse but to deceiue the world through hypocrisie the priests and preachers haue so set themselues on sale and made themselues so contemptible by their offensiue life that men regarde them no more nor their sermons neither but when they are to be vsed to preach and spread abroade some false newes Where are the princes of the blood that haue been alwaies sacred persons euen as the pillars and staies of the crowne and of the French Monarchie Where are the Peeres of France that should be the first here to opē to to honor the Estates Al these names are no more but the names of porters wherof some make litter for the horses of the Messieurs of Spayne and of Lorraine Where is the Maiestie and grauitie of the Parliament heretofore the defender of Kings and the mediator betweene the people and the Prince A prison as we would say here the Fleete or Tower You haue caried it in triumph to the Bastille and authoritie and iustice ye haue led them captiue more insolently and more shameleslie than the Turkes woulde haue done You haue driuen away the best sorte of people and retained none but rascals or of scourings who are either full of passions or else base minded Besides euen of them that doe remaine ye will not suffer so few as foure or fiue to say what they thinke and you threaten them also Hee meaneth some kinde of torture or torment to giue them a billet as vnto heretikes or politikes And yet you would make men beleeue that that you doe is for no other respect but for the preseruation of religion and of the estate This is well said but let vs a little examine your actions and the cariage or behauiour of the King of Spayne towards vs and if I lie one word A fearefull execration let Monsieur Saint Denis and Madame Saint Genuiefue the great patrons of Fraunce neuer helpe me I studied a little while in the schooles and yet not so much as I desired but since I haue seene diuers countries and trauailed into Turkie and thorow out all Natolia and Sclauonia euen vnto Archipelagus and mare maior A good touchstone indeede and Tripoli of Syria where I found the saying of our Sauiour Christ to bee true By their fruites yee shall know them Men knowe sufficiently enough what are the intentions and inuentions of men by their works and by their effects First I will speake it and yet with an honorable preface that the King of Spayne A mannerly man is a great prince wise subtill and very aduised the most mightie and hauing the greatest territories of all Christian princes and that he should be yet so much the more if all his lands countries and kingdomes were sure and ioyned one of them to another But France which is betweene Spayne and the Iowe countries is the cause that his separate and disioyned Lordships No lie surely
Beare with bragging and lying a little cost him more than they are worth For aboue all nations hee feareth the French as that which he knoweth to be most noble and to haue the greatest valure and impatience against the rest and rule of a strange people And that is the cause why being wise prouident and well counselled as hee is since that hee was constrained to make that miserable peace which was sealed and signed by the death of our good King Henry the second Ah wilie foxe but yet well discouered subtiltie and not daring either openly to gainesay the same or beginne warre whilest that France was flourishing vnited agreed and of the same minde and will together hee indeuoured to sowe diuision and discord amongst vs our selues and so soone as hee sawe our princes to be miscontent or to iarre amongst themselues he did secretly and closely conueigh himselfe into the action and incouraged the one of the sides to nourish and foster our diuisions and to make them immortall and to busie our selues to quarrell and fight one with another yea to kill one another that whilest these troubles were amongst vs hee might bee left in peace and so long as we did inweaken our selues to grow increase without losse and lessening Plaine pregnant proofes This was the course and proceeding that hee held after that hee sawe the princes of Vendosme and of Condie malecontent who also drew and caried with them the house of Montmorencie and of Chastillon and to set themselues against the aduantageable aduancements and proceedings of your father Bleare eyed men and barbers as it is in the prouerbe are acquainted therewith and of your Vncles Monsieur Lieutenant who had inuaded and vsurped all authoritie and kingly power in the time of young King Frauncis their nephew I speake nothing but that all Fraunce euen to the smallest and basest of them yea that the whole worlde knoweth For all the bloudie tragedies which since that time haue been plaied vpon this pitifull scaffold of France haue all of them been borne and proceeded from these first quarrels and not from the diuersitie or difference of religions as without reason men doe yet to this day make the simple and idiots to beleeue I am old and haue seene the affayres of the world as much as another yea by the grace of God and the goodnes of my friends I haue been Sheriffe and prouost of the merchants also in this citie in the time that men proceeded thereunto by free election and that they did not constraine nor vse violence to men for their suffrages and voyces as you haue done Plaine speech and particular application Monsieur Lieutenant not long sithence minding and purposing to continue Monsieur Boucher at your deuotion But I remēber yet those old times as if it were but yesterday past or this day present I can remēber well from the beginning of the quarell that fell out betweene Monsieur your late father and late Monsieur the Constable which proceeded from no other cause but from the iealousie of one of them ouer another both of them being the great minions and fauourits of Henrie the second their master Figulus figulū odit as it is in the prouerbe as wee haue seene also Messieurs de Ioyeuse and d'Espernō vnder King Henrie the third his sonne Their first falling out was for the estate of great Master which the King had giuen to Monsieur your father when he made Monsieur of Montmorency Constable who had been great Master before and who had the Kings promise that the sayd estate should be reserued for his sonne Another cause of their ill husbandrie or bad carriage of themselues was the Countie de Dampmartin which both of them had gotten after diuers sorts Sum ego mihi metipsi proximus I loue my selfe best and being entred into suite about the same Monsieur the Constable got it by an arrest or decree This did so alter and chaunge them that either of them indeuored to east his cōpanion out of the saddle or as we say to set him beside the cushion And from thence proceeded the voyage that Monsieur your father made into Italie where he did no great matter because that Monsieur the Constable who caused him to bee sent thither that so he might the more quietly wholly and alone possesse the King it may be hindred or slacked the affayres but he remained not long vnpunished for it for he was taken afterwards on S. Laurence day while your father was absent who being returned did by a certaine good happe and the same indeed very wonderfull It was well done of the Guise to ouercome euil with well doing take againe the townes of Picardie which wee had lost and Calais besides And that he might the better reuenge himselfe of the euill dueties that he knew were done against him in his voyage caused also the imprisonment of Monsieur the Constable to bee prolonged and forgot no arte that might hinder or delay his deliuerance which gaue an occasion to my Lords of Chastillon to desire the ayde and to cast themselues into the armes and protection of the King of Nauarre this Kings father and of Monsieur the Prince of Conde his brother who had married their neece Also these two great houses fell into factions and partakings which were yet stirred vp and incensed by the contention begun betweene the Prince of Conde Monsieur d'Aumale your vncle for the office of the colonel of the light horse there was as yet no mētion of religion or Huguenots Hardly did any know what was the doctrine of Caluin and Luther A little fire maketh a great flame but by the death of them that we sawe burne stiffe in their opinions and yet notwithstanding the matter of the warres and of the enimities that we haue seene were then in preparing and hath continued vntill this present time But the trueth is that when my Lords of Chastillon very couragious men and not able to indure the iniuries offered them saw that the fauour of your house did ouertoppe theirs and that they had not any meane to finde credite and fauour about the King by reason of the lets that they of your race house cast in the way they were counselled to withdraw themselues from the Court and as they were in their retraite they shewed themselues but whether it were in good earnest or of policie and prudence I know not to fauour the new Lutherans who till then preached no where but in caues and dennes and by little and little ioyned themselues with them in faction and intelligence It is not good to fall into the clawes and pawes of vnreasonable men the rather to defend and keepe themselues from your father your vncle then to attempt any stirring or bringing in of noueltie except then when the King at the prouocation of your vncle who had made the Pope to write vnto him thereabout did himselfe take
into Italie to her kinsfolkes God pardon that good Ladie A deuout praier for a holie woman But for the apprehension and conceit that she had of these things I feare much that she was the cause of many euils that we saw in her time For vpon this matter she did so hate thē that she neuer ceased till she had destroyed them as she did the one of them in the battaile of Iarnac and the other at the massacre of S. Bartholomew where if all they of Montmorency had been found they had had no better market of it then the rest To which poynt Messieur your vncle did very nimbly put his hand and valiantly pushed or lifted at the wheele that so he might put fire in the head of that young King Charles without whose death wee neede not doubt but that he had had the like scorne that Monsieur the Mareschall of Montmorency gaue him and Monsieur your brother in this towne Doubtie Dukes and very cleanly whē he made them do all in their breeches because they bare weapons and armour forbidden them without his passeport and leaue But it seemeth that the sodaine death of these their Kings one after another did alwaies breake set out of square the goodly attempts of your house and saued or at the least prolonged the liues of your principall enemies Now let vs come to that which fell out afterwards for it is time to speak of you and of Monsieur your brother who began from that time forward to appeare in armes and to walke in the footsteps and tracts of your predecessors A fardle of frumps against Duke du Mayenne You haue alreadie caused your valours and valiances to appeare in the siege of Poictiers which you brauely defended contrarie to the aduise of the first husband of Madame la Lieutenant Monsieur of Montpezat your predecessor who counselled you to forsake all and to get you packing thence Afterwards you were at the battaile of Montcontour and after that at the iourney or exployt done vpon S. Bartholomews day where the companions on the other side were taken napping if not on sleepe and prouoked to say whence come you Cardinall of Lorraine And though Monsieur your vncle at that time was turning ouer his portuise in Italie yet the play was not performed without his intermedling and seeking to haue the King of Spaynes approbation of it the Popes absolution touching the marriage which seemed for a lure and a trappe also to the Huguenots Afterwards you continued your blowes at the siege of Rochel where mē did perceiue that he that is at this day the King of Nauarre and Monsieur your brother were but one heart one soule Men may maske but dissimulation wil break out and their great puritie and familiaritie ingendred ielousie and suspition in all the world But we must come to the matter When you sawe that King Charles was dead who otherwise did not loue you very much had sundrie times repeated the saying of the great King Francis For he had no cause so to do whereof he himselfe had made these foure verses now very rife and common in euery mans mouth King Francis was no whit beguiled When he foretold that the Guisian race Would spoyle his sonnes of all they had And leaue his subiects in worse case When you saw him A steppe to the scepter as they thought I say dead without children and the late King his brother married with your barren and vnfruitfull cousin you began Monsieur your brother and you I meane to attempt and assay many practises and plots which many people sayd were the cause of all our miseries I am not of that number which beleeue that Messieurs your father and vncle had from their time layd the foundation of the building that your brother you haue builded since though there bee that speake of the notes of Dauid and of Piles who haue better then Nostradamus prognosticated foretold all that which we haue seene since their death and though some assure ys that Monsieur your vncle Cardinall of Lotraine had framed a certaine forme of all the order that was to beheld therein But I cannot beleeue that he that had as much vnderstanding as a mā could haue could hope to make his nephewes kings of France seeing as yet three brethren children of the Kings house in the right line all of thē very puissant and in the floure of their age readie to be married and be could not diuine or gesse that they should dye without issue as they did afterwards Besides hee sawe a great number of the Princes of the royall bloud that kept not themselues warme with the robe of heretikes that should haue cut off all hope from his desires I knowe very well that in his time he was the author that the Archdeacon of Thoul writ this much A pedigree published but to small purpose that those of the house of Lorraine were descended from Charles the great by the males that is to say of Charles Duke of Lorraine to whom the kingdome appertained after the death of Lewes the fifth king of France and that Hugh Capet hauing taken him at Laon and brought him and his wife prisoner to Orleans he had a sonne or male child of whom he affirmed the Dukes of Lorraine are descended this was vnder hand cast amongst the people As all did well perceiue and you were neuer a whit grieued with it though that the common and true histories doe plainly enough shew and witnesse that there was an interruption breaking off of males in the race of Lorraine by two women and namely in the wife of Godfrey of Bouillon named Idain A worthie Archdeacon So the sayd Archdeacon made an honourable amends for it according to the arrest and sentence giuen against him and like a lewd fellowe and sloathfull or fainthearted man vnsayd that he had spoken But in fine there was small appearance that at that time my sayd Lord your vncle could aspire to the kingdome hauing so many hinderances and heads either to fight against Two worthie waies to work by or to cause to dye by the sword or by poyson It is very true that euen from his beginning he was very ambitious and desirous of greatnes and of the gouernment of the state more then any other of his age and I make no doubt of it but that he desired to possesse the Kings and to haue held them had hee been able in tutorship and vnder gouernment as in olde time the Maiors of the palace did that so he might dispose of all according to his pleasure and set vp or pull downe those whom hee had listed Wicked mens purposes and practises are vaine which is the thing whereto commonly the greatest aspire Notwithstanding being almost come thereunto while he was liuing he gathered together and prepared for you the materiall sluffe with which you haue built this proued
and his traiterous counsellors had wrought in him hindred him from vsing the aduantage which hee had in his hand or power causing all his men of warre to be forbidden to strike or hurt any person and to keep themselues quiet without enterprising any thing or offering violence to any of the inhabitants which was the cause that the mutinous taking heart and courage vpon the waies of their plotted enterprise had leasure to arme themselues and to shut vp as it were betweene two gulfes or streames those that before they durst not looke in the face And your brother also seeing that they were so slow to come to take him there came vnto him and that from all quarters people in armes whome those of the Kings side did let freelie passe because they had no charge giuen them to looke to him and knowing that they of his part began to acknowledge him and to make head in the quarters A dastard in the faint hartednes of his foe gathereth strength according to the order that they had before plotted of a desperate man that he was he became fully assured and resolute and sent his appoynted gentlemen through the streetes and quarters of the citie to assist and encourage the inhabitants to take the gates and places For his part after that he was hartened by a great number of men of armes who had their meeting at his lodging he went out of his house about tenne or an eleuen of the clocke that he might be seene in the streetes and by his presence giue them the signe of a generall reuolt which presently set fire in the head of all the conspirators who as madde and furious people fell vpon the Kings Swissers They that spare others are smitten themselues and cut them all in peeces and the other men of warre seeing themselues shut vp betweene two barricadoes before and behinde without daring to defend themselues because that the King had forbidden it them yeelded themselues to the mercie of your brother Crueltie couered with clemencie who caused them to bee conducted in safetie out of the towne which hee did not so much of clemencie and gentlenes that was naturall in him as by sleight and subtiltie the better to come to his last but which was to seize himselfe of the King whom he sawe to be in armes and vpoÌ„ his guardes in the house of Louvre hardly to be forced so readily without great murther His cuÌ„ning therfore was to spin gently to counterfeite a man of poore estate saying that he was greatly grieued with that that had fallen out in the meane season he visited the streetes ' to incourage the inhabitants hee assured himselfe of the strong places hee made himselfe master of the arsenac where he had good in telligence with Selincourt Who it should seeme was as it were the master of the ordinance that he might haue the Cannon the pouder bullets at his deuotion He besotted with faire words the poore knight that kept the watch who yeelded him the Bastille because he lacked good furniture for defence of it He lacked nothing but the Louvre He had the palace but that was no hard thing because it held not the master who had a backe gate to withdrawe himselfe And this was the cause why step by step they aduanced the barricades that so they might gaine the new gate that also of S. Honorus He was sure in a pittifull taking But the poore prince well aduertised of that which they purposed to do that they ment nothing against others but him neither daring to trust his mother neither the gouernour of Paris that then was that intertained him with speech with agreement tooke a couragious resolutioÌ„ and such a one as was approoued by many good people which was to flie away and to leaue the place and al with which your brother thought himselfe much astonished Some mens feare spoyles other of then hope A vehement exclamation and worthie wish douâ—â—â—es seeing the praye that hee supposed hee had in his shares was escaped from him O memorable feaste of the barricades Let thy eeuens and thy octaues be long From that time hitherto what haue wee had but wretchednes and pouertie But anguishes feares tremblings onsets ouerthrowes defiances and all sortes of miseries These were nothing else but subtilties craftes dissimulations and counterfeitings on the one side and on the other practised and managed by him that could best take it and that could deceiue his companion yea began to goe cheeke by iole with your master and because you were not able to take him by open force you tooke counsell to set vpon him by crafte and subtiltie You made shew as though you had been heauie and sad for that which fell out The Crocodiles teares specially to theÌ„ whom you sent vnto him but to straungers you braued it and vaunted your selues Out of one fonntain commeth sweet sowre water that you were masters of all and that there was no let but in your selues that you were not Kings and that in that day of the barricadoes you had gotten more then if you had gained three battailes or soughten fields Concerning which matter your owne letters and those of your agents giue large credit You sent diuers times sundrie sorts of Ambassadors to the King as well to Roan as to Chartres to make him beleeue that the people of Paris were then more at his deuotion then euer and that they did desire to see him and to welcome him into his good citie and you indeuoured nothing but to draw him thither that so you might perfit the busines begun But he would doe nothing in that matter and so he did well In fine after manifold declarations which you drew from him whereof he was no niggard in which was shewed how he did forget and remit all that was past wherein you would neuer suffer to bee vsed the word of pardoning you went and carried your selues very churlishly and vnciuilly in the promoting of the Estates The more the wicked are forborne the worse they are wherein you promised vnto your selues that all should passe at your pleasure by the meanes of your running vp and downe and suites that you made in the election of the deputies of the prouinces In which neuer did any man see such shamelesnes as you vsed that sent from citie to citie and from towne to towne to cause men of your faction to bee chosen Fie vpon such sree election that they might come to the foresayd estates prepared with notes and furnished with remembrances fit for your purpose whereof some were chosen by violence othersome by corruption of money or briberie and othersome thorowe feare and threatnings Amongst others from this towne you sent the president de Nully la Chapelle Marteau Compan Rowland and the aduocate of Orleans who were euen in open shewe the principall authors of the rebellion and the instruments which you
trade vpon him take Notwithstanding if any are to be found that at the beginning suffered themselues to be caried away with the flood of the League whether it were for feare to forgoe their religion or for some particular affection that they bare to the heads of that side or for some displeasure and hatred that they had conceiued against the late King they are they themselues that submitted themselues to and that acknowledged the present King so soone as they saw him to become a catholike and haue brought into his power the places that they helde without marchandise or entring into composition with their master and these are more excusable for their first error or fault than the other yea they deserue recommendation and praise and to be put in our chronicles for that they haue deliuered their countrie from the Spanish crueltie as we see to haue bin done to them that haue freed France from the English men Frō whence haue proceeded so manie goodly priuiledges to families to townes and to communalties who of themselues did shake off the strange yoke that they might the better submit themselues to the sweet power of their naturall Kings But that which most grieueth all honest and virtuous people is to see that they that haue not done it but by force and necessitie are yet notwithstanding ioyfully entertained receiued and welcommed and boast that they are the cause that the King is conuerted These men cause mee to remember a certaine answer that Fabius the great gaue to a Romane captaine gouernor of Tarentum who after that hee had suffered the towne to bee lost by the treason of the citizens bragged of this that hee was the cause that Fabius tooke it againe Truely sayd Fabius I had not taken or recouered the towne if thou hadst not lost it euen so may these people bragge and boast here that they are the cause of so many Trophees triumphes as the King hath atchieued in conquering his realme againe for without their treason and rebellion he had not gained so much honour as he hath done by bringing them vnder and ranging them to reason I saw also others that haue not so much as stirred out of their houses and from their quiet rest to rent and teare the name of the King and of the princes of the blood of France as much as they were able who also not being able any longer to withstand by reasō of the great necessitie that pressed them because they had two or three daies before the reducing of their towne to the Kings obedience some good sighing and sense to doe better and yet notwithstanding at this day those that speake most loftily and haue great estates offices and recompences and bragge that they haue done more seruice to the King to Frāce it self thā those that forsooke their houses their goods and offices for to follow their prince and who did willingly indure all maner of needs rather than so much as to winke at the tyrannie of these strangers whether they bee Lorraines that is of the Guysian faction or Spaniards But this complaint deserueth an other Satyre Menippized But for this time I will tell you no more but two small quartains or verses which two of our good countrie men made by the way or vpon the sodaine as wee say at a certaine time when we discoursed vpon this matter If French men Lewd in Fraunce recompensed bee And the best men aduanced to no degree Let vs somewhat be lewd men will forget the offence He that hath not done ill shall haue no recompence The other euen at that very instant time also pursued the selfe same matter and to no lesse purpose than the former verses were To be welcome indeed and our affaires well to do During this tedious time and miserable to Agnoste my friend canst tell what way we shall take Some place le ts surprise and then our peace we will make I know very wel that there are many people that take no delight to heare men speake and write thus freely and are offended at the first worde that any man mentioneth our afflictiōs alreadie past as though after so many great losses they would take away from vs our feeling and our tongue our speech and libertie giuen vs to complaine withall But herein they should doe worse vnto vs than Phalaris did vnto them whom he stifled and choaked in his brasen bull for hee did not hinder them from crying but this rather that he would not heare their cries as the cries of men lest he might haue pittie vpon them but as the bellowings of bullockes and buls the better to disguise the sound of mans voice This is a hard case that they that haue beene pilled robbed imprisoned in the Bastile ransomed and driuen from their townes from their charges should not cast out some euill speech against them when at their returne they find their houses voide forsaken ruinated wherein there is nothing but the bare wals whereas they left them richly stored with moueables and handsomely trimmed vp with all maner of things Who can euer stop the mouth of the posterity and hinder them from speaking of the third part and of them that haue brought it out nursed it which keep it yet shut vp in a chamber nourishing it and sustaining it with good meate one day to bring it forth vnto light and to cause it to be seene well sauoured and very great when they shall see time and commoditie fit for it It was neuer yet heard of neither shall it euer bee what lawes or ordinances soeuer men may make therefore that euill speech should not be better receiued than praise specially when it is drawn from the trueth it selfe and that there is not a hundred times more pleasure to speake euill of some slothfull person than to praise an honest man This is the punishment that wicked men cannot escape and though they haue all their pleasures beside yet at the least must they haue this dipleasure this worme about their hearts to know that the people teareth them in pieces secretly curseth them and that writers wil not spare them after their death Thanks be to God we are not vnder any Tiberius that spied out the speeches of his subiectes or that made of all offences newe articles of high treason against the Prince He giueth to honest people as much libertie as they should desire hee knoweth the naturall disposition of French men as one that cannot indure neither all bondage nor all libertie Likewise it were not reasonable continually and for euer to stirre vp our olde quarrels and to vse iniurious fashions that might hinder the kitting together againe of his people in one and the same deuotion vnder his obedience For it were better to endeuour to sweeten our euils than to make them more sharpe to the ende that we may all of vs range our selues to the ancient fidelitie and humilitie which wee owe vnto our