silent that I may hinder these unjust Praises perhaps you will have pitty on my feeble resistance and will be weary of conquering so easily Madam 'T is rather my self that ought to keep silent being so lately in an astonishment but as for you Madam it would be a sin against your fair lips whose words are Oracles Then pray Sir why do you not believe that which I say for all Oracles are truth But why will you Madam by perswasion hinder the belief which I have taken with sight and judgment For I will believe your Beauty against all your unbelief and undervaluings and also continue the Service which I have sworn you against any thing that shall hinder it My Attempt also hath promis'd my Design that future Ages shall admire your Merit and my Servitude and record us as the most faithful Lovers in Cupid's Dominions I fear Sir that time will alter this opinion Madam Time can do nothing against that which Love hath ordain'd he is the master of Fortune and an enemy to change But wherefore this superfluity of speech It is better to believe by the force of Words then by the force of Perswasion and therefore at this time it is more necessary for me to demand of you Remedies for this remove the apprehension whereof makes me endure this present pain Sir It behooves you to forget your Design and you will avoid the Pain that will follow and also the Repentance No Madam I will keep the memory of my Design eternally and shall always see painted before me the glory of my Enterprize Adieu great Beauty you shall never cast your eyes downward but you shall perceive lying at your feet him that admires you nor ever elevate your Thoughts to your deserts but you shall remember your conquest Adieu Fairest for now I leave the Sun and go to seek out Night and Sorrows cell The Return I come Madam to receive as much content from your chearful Countenance as the loss of it hath yielded me sorrow I know the Good will now be as great as the Evil since they proceed both from the same cause Sir I do believe that you do receive the one as well as you have suffer'd the other but I beseech you Sir to tell me from whence that pain proceeds which you say you do endure for as to my self I do believe that the pleasure of Thinking is greater then that of Seeing Madam It is permitted me to think but experiment forbids me believe that opinion for I receive from my Imaginations only a good imagination on the contrary the sight cannot err But it is said Sir that the presence only contents the Eyes which are Mortal but that absence exercises the Soul which is Divine and therefore if that did any way afflict you you might easily avoid it It was some good Genius Madam that took me yesterday from your eyes that I might the better value the happiness of their lustre and avoid the extremity of that pain which the loss of them made me endure causing in me such an impatience to return to you that every hour I staid from you seem'd an age Sir That which is foreseen is easily avoided Now you perceive whence the evil that you speak of proceeds yet the little occasion that you had to fear it makes you find it out willingly therefore blame your own desires which have procur'd you this evil and do not complain on Destiny which is always just Madam My Will is not the cause for then I should fly my self and come back to you but Love to abuse me the more gave me the Desire and hinder'd the Effect Though I believe it to be one of his Destinies for it behooves a true passion to overcome the violence of all opposition by a diligent constancy Demand of Assurance Fairest It is now time that I should require from you some Assurances of your friendship because I cannot grant you that authority which you have over my Affections but by the service which I am willing to render to your power The proof whereof depends upon opportunity and the opportunity occasion upon your commands swear to me therefore by your fair Eyes that you love that which they have subdu'd that I may boast my ruine to be a mark as well of my glory as of your puissance Do you think Sir that that which is ruin'd by the Eyes can be belov'd by the Heart Dear Lady why should you not affect that love which you your self have created Would you cause it to be born and dye at the same instant that would be the action of an inconstant soul It is you Sir that run the hazard of being call'd by that name for if love proceed from merit you will soon finde some one more worthy your Affection then my self Madam I shall never seek the means to find any more signal worth then that which you possess it is permitted to those who are less worthy to have such jealousies but not to you whose Beauty hath such a supereminence above all others in the world No Madam take counsel of your own worth and it will shew the fair Election which I have made how impossible it is to be changed the design coming from the judgement of our Soul which being Divine cannot erre But Sir they say that love is very subject to knowledge of which you being so well provided 't is to be fear'd that you may make use of those agreeable diversities that Love doth every day present to unfaithful Lovers Madam May he banish me from his Empire if I have any other Will then what is agreeable to his He sees that I am yours so his Power and my Will are agreed my Designs concur with his Commands Sir I believe that Love himself could not know how to force you to love He scar'd Madam lest he should be made himself a slave He hath no force able to resist your puissance unless it be your own therefore since you have this Glory entire to your self to have vanquish'd all the world there remains nothing now but that you should vanquish your self Sir I cannot do any thing else but vanquish having neither Will nor Thought which doth not render obedience to that duty which I have taken to be the perfect guide of my life Madam You oppose your Designs to my Prayers to the end this refusal may redouble my passion and cause me to persist more eagerly in the pursuit of your tempting Graces yet it suffices that the pain and difficulties of the acquest will remain the glory of my conquest If it be your Difficulties Sir that can create your Glory why do you complain Madam I do not repine at the pain but at your unkindness that will not acknowledge it but if that be not so I do conjure your fair Lips to produce some assurance of your friendship Will Sir then I do promise your servitude to acknowledge it for the price of your constancy and believe this that as
Mask these kind of complementings among great persons are like chantings among Beggars only in use with the Mimicks and Buffons of our times whose behaviours deserve more derision then applause I will not here squirt any more ink at them Courteous Reader in my Preface to the youthful Gentry you shall find something to this purpose inserted which I accounted too improper for this place To draw to a Conclusion the Court and such emiminent places as Hide Park the Spring Garden and the New Exchange and set Meetings at Balls are esteemed the fittest Schools of Ceremony and Complement where the most select as also the newest Fashions are alwayes in request where if discretion be not wanting in the Courtier he will not fail to confirm himself to the mode and condition of the place that he is to exercise his Genius in For Complements do not suit with all places nor with all sorts of men it ill beseems a Mechanick to play the Orator that urbanity which becomes a Citizen would relish of too much curiosity in a Countrey-man and that Complement which gives proper grace to a Courtier would cause derision if presented by a Merchant or a Factor The Statesman requires a graceful and grave posture whereas in ordinary affairs of Traffique it were indiscretion to represent any such state Thus I might instance from the Madam to the Chamber-maid but that I am resolved to trouble the Reader with no further Preadmonitions the Series of the ensuing Work will fully inform him in whatsoever other concernments have been wanting in this Advertisement Farewell THE MYSTERIES OF Love and Eloquence OR The Arts of WOOING and COMPLEMENTING c. The Mode of Hide Park MAdam That free Interest which you have granted me in your Favour honours me with a boldness to give you an invitation this fair afternoon to take the Air in Hide Park Your most humble servant Sir I 'le assure you had you not come as you did you might perchance have found me there before you for my Cousin here and I were taking up a resolution to be jogging that way I 'le assure you Madam your journey will not want its pleasure beside that of the season if the Town news hold true I see you came Sir with a resolution not to be deny'd having brought an argument so perswasive to Women as that of Novelty but pray what is it Madam they say Sir Charles hath put off his mourning-weeds and appears this day in the Park with a new Coach and Livery they report he looks with an amorous Countenance upon the young Lady to whom he intends as they say to give to Treatment at the Spring Garden so that if Businesses be well manag'd on her side it may chance to be a match But pray give me leave I heard lately that the old Countess is dead Very true Madam I was this morning at a Drapers shop in Pauls Church-yard and there came in her Steward to provide Four hundred pounds worth of Mourning Do's it not bring a very great addition to my Lords Estate Doubtless Madam a very considerable one for she was always a near and parcimonious Woman and indeed was considerable for nothing else but the affection she bare him I could tell you more Madam but I defer the rest for discourse in the Coach In the Ring Coachman keep the out-side of the Ring I think Madam that way will not be so dusty This is the voice of a Gentleman that would shew a more then ordinary care of his Mistress Much discourse cannot be expected from that restless motion of Wheels and Horses it being only a preparative for treatment talk neither indeed in that place of Observation is more required then only as occasion serves to tell your Lady That is my Lord such a ones Coach That 's my Lady such a one That 's Squire such a one And then when opportunity offers it self to say Your humble Servant my Lord Your most humble Servant Madam For though it be not so great a sin yet it is as great a Solecism as to talk at Church and they shall be counted as shallow persons that can give no account of what they have seen here as those that can remember nothing that they have heard spoken to a Text. This is not without reason for it being an impossibility for Ladies to travel it was thought fit that there should be a publick Meeting of all sorts of Societies and Habits both Forreign and Domestique that so those young and tender Gallants might be spar'd the labour of going beyond Sea In the spaces among the Coaches there walk up and down Objects of Charity and Enticements to Liberality Beggars and Fruiterers who are bold Wenches and by their own well knowing the disposition of other Women with their Eyes fix'd upon the Ladies and their Ware held up to the Gentlemen they cry so as they may easily be heard My Lord Will your Honour have any Civil Oranges Madam Will your Honour buy a Basket of Cherries The Gentleman finds himself surpriz'd but knows not which to give Oranges or Cherries yet at length remembring Oranges how great whetters of the stomach they are and deeply considering the price of Cheesecakes he resolves upon Cherries Then quoth he How do you sell your Cherries good Woman A Crown a Basket my Lord quoth she with which word being extreamly pleased he parts chearfully with his money for who would not purchase Honour at any Rate and then presents his new bought treasure to his Lady in these words Madam I do here present you with these First-fruits of the Year which would have been due from Romona her self had she not forgot the duty that she owes your perfections The Lady makes a short reply well knowing the end of his kindness which was to stop her mouth Whether Cherries are diuretick or no I will not here dispute however the Coachman presently after hath a command given him to wheel off and the Lady finds in her self a disposition to walk on foot toward the Brakes yet she is not so much tormented but that she can talk which is commonly much to this effect Really Sir I have not seen so great an appearance of company in the Park all this Spring before Madam it was the lustre of your person drew 'em hither and doubtless having now seen you they will have no cause to repent their coming Sir you have a strong faith to speak so highly of one whom you have known no otherwise then in the formalities of a Visit I wish I that know my self better knew my self so well as to confirm your Encomiums Madam that lies not on your part to do for wherefore hath Nature granted Man to excell in the invention of Language but that she would not so far deprave the dignity of the Female which is her own Sex as to make them the vain-glorious praisers of themselves and it is retaliation sufficient in you to favour us with the acceptance of our
pearl ye may behold From between which a breath of Amber flows A more then Tyrean purple doth o'respread Her lips which softer are Then the Swans down and smoother far The costly juice that dwells In Oriental shells To them looks pale they are so purely red Fair Cheeks that look like blushing roses plac't In purest Ivory Or Coral within snow enchas'd The Glories of the Spring Grow pale and languishing For envy so out-shin'd by them to be Sweetly triumphing Eyes That in two Crystal prisons do contain Death in affrown's disguise How gladly would I die to be by those eyes slain Delightful cruelty Of those all charming Eyes That have on one design'd to try With what a pleasing empire they can tyrannize The Melancholy Lover HIther I come delightful groves To spend my sighs and make my moan To whose still shades it best behoves To make my plaints and sorrows known And these gentle trees invite To pity my disconsolate plight 'T is rigorous love that doth torment This disturbed heart of mine But of a Creature so Divine That I ought not to repent To have loved though unlov'd again The sole author of my pain Is bright Sylvia gentle bowrs To your gloomy walks unknown Who loves to spend the harmless hours Among silent groves alone Hnd can with her presence bright To the darkest shades give light Sylvia hath about her charms Nations able to subdue And can conquer with those arms More then mightiest Kings can do But I that am her chiefest aim Am destin'd to the greatest flame I die Sylvia when I behold Those eyes that set on fire my heart Yet I for love is uncontroll'd Greedy and fond of my own smart And captive to my misery Love to behold those Stars and die To his Mistriss falsly accusing him WRong me no more In thy complaint Blam'd for inconstancy I vow'd to adore The fairest Saint Not chang'd while thou wer't she But if another thee out-shine Th' inconstancy is only thine To be by such Blind Fools admir'd Gives thee but small esteem By whom as much thou 'dst be desir'd Did'st thou less beautious seem Sure why they love they know not well Who why they should not cannot tell Women are by themselves betray'd And to their short joys cruel Who foolishly themselves perswade Flames can outlast their fuel None though Platonick their pretence With reason love unless by sense And he by whose command to thee I did my heart resign now bids me chuse a Deity Diviner far then thine No power from love can beauty sever I 'me still loves subject thine was never The fairest she whom none surpass To love hath only right and such to me thy beauty was till one I found more bright But were as impious to adore thee now as not t' have don 't before Nor is it just by Rules of Love Thou shouldst deny to quit a heart that must anothers prove even in thy right to it Must not thy subjects captives be To her who triumphs over thee Cease then in vain to blot my name With forg'd Apostacy thine is that stain who dar'st to claim what others ask of thee Of Lovers they are only true Who pay their hearts where they are due To his false Mistriss CElio remains disconsolate forsaken of his cruel Lover Who not asham'd to violate Her faith doth for her false heart discover Oft do I her hard heart bemoan Inveigh on her unconstant mind Oft blame my self for doting on a thing more sickle then the wind Sometimes unhappy men he deem'd her absence might have quench'd his flame But now more and fair then e're she seem'd his flames increase through her disdain Now nought is left me but dispair My adverse fate brought me to see Things distant most admired are enjoyment breeds satiety I go to see the fair unkind whom her new Lovers arms immure Me she vouchsas'd not once to mind in her inconstancy secure Was 't not enough Phillis said I that thy deceitful charming wiles Should cheat my fond credulity that thou seekst others to beguile If amidst these thy new delights Thou hapst no time to think on me Think how awakn'd conscience frights Think Phillis on thy perjury Longer to grieve I see 't is vain Longer my troubled thoughts to vex Phillis triumph in her disdain Phillis the falsest of her sex Resolution to Love I Wonder what the Grave and Wise Think of all us that love Whether our pretty fooleries Their mirth or anger move They understand not breath that words do want Our sights to them are unsignificant One of them saw me t'other day Touch thy dear hand which I admire My soul was melting straight away And dropt before the fire This silly Wiseman who pretends to know Ask'd why I look'd so pale and trembled to Another from my Mistriss dore Saw me with watry eyes to come Nor could the hidden cause explore But thought some smoak was in the room Such ignorance from unwounded learning came He knew tears made by smoak but not by flame If learn'd in other things you be And have in Love no skill For God sake keep your arts from me For I 'le be ignorant still Study or actions others may embrace My Love 's my business and my Book 's her face These are but trifles I confess Which me weak mortal move Nor is your busie seriousness Less trifling then my love The wisest King who from his sacred brest Pronounc'd all vanity chose it for the best Tyranny in Love BLind Cupid lay thy Bow aside Thou dost know its use For Love thy Tyranny doth shew Thy kindness is abuse Thou who wer't call'd a Pretty Boy Art thought a Skeleton For thou like death dost still destroy When thou dost strike at one Each vulgar hand can do as much Then Heavenly skill we see When we behold two Arrows touch Two marks that distant be Love always looks for joy agen If e're thou woundst mans heart Pierce by the way his Rib and then He 'l kiss not curse thy dart Against Love NOw fie on love it ill befits Or Man or Woman know it Love was not meant for people in their wits And they that fondly shew it Betray their too much feather'd brains And shall have Bedlam only for their pains To Love is to distract my sleep And waking to wear fetters To Love is but to go to School to weep I 'le leave it for my betters If single love be such a curse To marrie is to make it ten times worse The Maiden-head THou worst estate even of the sex that 's worst Therefore by nature made at first T' attend the weakness of our birth Slight outward Curtain to the nuptial Bed Thou cause to buildings not yet finished Who like the Center of the Earth Dost heaviest things attract to thee Though thou a point imaginary be A thing God thought for mankind so unfit That his first blessing mind it Cold frozen nurse of fiercest fires Who like the parched plains of
for his quart While Coin did last and shall he dye And no man lay 't to heart He lov'd his Dog Icleped Trou his Dog he loved Pye Shall Tobit live for his Dogs sake and Jo neglected dye He hated all the Female sex who knows his private gradge And must he therefore dye forgot I leave the World to judge Each Term he ask'd his Father Blessing most gravely and demurely Who then did give him Shillings Ten and must he dye obscurely No Jo I 'le bid peace to thy bones Though they were sick and crazie And must be quite made new again Before that Heav'n can raise thee And since th' art gone and there is none who knoweth where to find thee I 'le fix this truth upon thy name Thou didst leave Wit behind thee Wit that shall make thy name to last when Tarletons Jests are rotten And George a Green and Mother Bunch shall all be quite forgotten Now if you ask where Jo is gone you think I cannot tell Oh he is blest for he was poor and could not go to Hell But for his Father rich in Bags the Devil ought to have him That took no care of such a Son till 't was too late to save him The Song of the Caps THe Wit hath long beholding bin Unto the Cap to keep it in Let now the Wit fly out amain With Praise to quit the Cap again The Cap that owes the highest part Obtain'd that place by due desert For any Cap what e're it be Is still the sign of some Degree The Cap doth stand each man doth show Above a Crown but Kings below The Cap is nearer Heaven than we A greater sign of Majesty When off the Cap we chance to take Both Head and Feet obeysance make For any Cap c. The Monmouth Cap the Saylors Thrum And that wherein the Saylors come The Physick Law the Cap Divine The same that crowns the Muses nine The Cap that Fools do countenance The goodly Cap of Maintenance And any Cap c. The sickly Cap both plain and wrought The Fudling Cap however brought The Quilted Furr'd the Velvet Sattin For which so many Pates learn Latin The Crewel Cap the Fustean Pate The Periwig a Cap of late Thus any Cap c. The Souldiers that the Monmouth wear On Castle tops their Ensigns rear The Saylors with their Thrum do stand On higher place than all the Land The Tradesman Cap aloft is born By vantage of some say his horn Thus any Cap c. The Physicks Cap to dust may bring Without controll the greatest King The Lawyers Cap hath heavenly might To make a crooked Cause stand right Which being round and endless knows To make as endless any Cause Thus any Cap c. Both East and West and North and South Where e're the Gospel finds a mouth The Cap divine doth thither look The Square-like Scholars and their Book The rest are round but this is square To shew that they more stable are Thus any Cap c. The Motley man a Cap doth wear That makes him fellow for a Peer And it s no slender part of wit To act the fool where great men sit But Oh the Cap of London town I wis 't is like the Giants crown Thus any Cap c. The sick mans Cap not wrought with silk Is like repentance white as milk When Hats in Church drop off in haste This Cap ne're leaves the head uncaste The sick mans Cap if wrought can tell Though he be ill his state is well Thus any Cap c. The Fudling Cap God Bacchus might Turns night to day and day to night Yet spendors it prefers to more By seeing double all their store The Fur'd and Quilted Cap of age Can make a mouldy Proverb sage Thus any Cap c. Though Fustean Caps be slender wear The head is of no better gear The Crowel Cap is knit like Hose For them whose zeal takes cold in the nose Whose purity doth judge it meet To cloth alike both head and feet This Cap would fain but cannot be The only Cap of no degree The Satin and the Velvet hive Unto a Bishoprick doth drive Nay when a file of Caps y' are seen in The Square Cap this and then a Linen This treble may raise some hope If fortune smile to be a Pope Thus any Cap c. The Periwing Oh that declares The rise of flesh the loss of hairs And none but Graduates can proceed In sin so far till this they need Before the Prince none cover'd are But those that to themselves go bare This Cap of all the Caps that be Is now the sign of high degree The Jolly Ale-Drinker I Cannot eat but little meat my stomach is not good But sure I think that I can drink with him that wears a hood Though I go bare take ye no care I nothing am a cold I stuff my skin so full within with jolly good Ale and old Back and sides go bare go bare both foot and hand go cold But Belly God send thee good Ale enough whether it be new or old I love no Rost but a nut-brown Tost and a Crab laid in the fire A little bread shall serve my stead for much I not desire No frost or snow no wind I trow can hurt me if I would I am so wrapt and throughly lapt with jolly good Ale and old Back and sides c. And Tib my Wife that as her life loveth good Ale to seek Full oft drinks she till you may see the tears run down her cheek Then doth she trowl to me the Bowl even as a Mault-worm should And saith Sweet-heart I took my part of this jolly good Ale and old Back and sides c. Now let them drink till they nod and wink even as good Fellows should do They shall not miss to have the bliss good Ale doth bring men to And all poor Souls that have scowr'd Bowls or have them luftily trowl'd God save the lives of them and their Wives whether they be young or old Back and sides go bare c. The Shepherd's Song in praise of his God Pan who prefers him before the Sun THou that art call'd the bright Hiperion Wert thou more strong then Spanish Gerion That had three heads upon one man Compare not with our great God Pan. They call thee Son of bright Latona But girt thee in thy torred Zona Sweat baste and broil as best thou can Thou art not like our Dripping Pan What cares he for the great God Neptune With all the broth that he is kept in Vulcan or Jove he scorns to bow to To Hermes or th' Infernal Pluto Then thou that art the Heavens bright Eye Or burn or scorch or boil or fry Be thou a God or be thou Man Thou art not like our Frying Pan. They call thee Phoebus God of Day Years Moneths Weeks Hours of March and May Bring up thy Army in the Van We 'l meet thee with our Pudding Pan. Thy self in thy
thin a dyet that your most despised Lovers might in my pittiful Picture read to themselves Lectures of consolation Lady I know at the best that absent persons cannot entertain themselves but by Letters yet by as woful experience I find that there is but small pleasure to hear thus so far off from one another as we do For my part I cannot but complain and I think I have more cause than any man living you know the reality of this my expression believe me you have expos'd me to such extremities that I am now resolv'd to approach you and to write no more but act what I have been accustom'd to protest how perfectly I can be Madam c. To his Mistriss upon the death of her Brother LAdy The continuance of your melancholy having toucht me so far as to make me partake of your grief wonder not if you receive these undeserved lines from me which I hope will wipe away your tears if you consider him that intreats you to be pitiful to himself if not to his youth Believe me Dearest my sorrows for your self carry more reason with them then yours for your deceased Brother which can have no other pretence than custom and your good nature Pardon me if I tell you freely that if you do not decline your grief I shall abate of the belief I had of your spirit I know well that the loss of Friends must needs touch us nor would I remove the sense of mourning but the error not the tribute of tears but the superfluity of them For though we must give something to nature let us not take away all from reason neither doth Nature so much as Opinion prevail over in these extreams of sorrow Believe me Fair one sorrow hath plac'd you too near the grave that should you look in your glass you would already conceive your self there for never did tears deal more cruelly with any than your self seeing they have mind at once two of the fairest things in the world the clearness of your disposition and beauty Judge therefore whether I have not as much cause to lament with you as to write to you At least I hope you will of your subtle thoughts to consider a little of him who with tears entreats you to consider of your self as being Madam c. To her Servant accepting his Service SIR Since you can so well express your affection to one that needs it I could not but let you understand how you have prosper'd with Justice enough you name your self a Friend yet in my opinion you might invent some more significant word though it were to stile your self a Lover for you have already given me such real testimonies of your affection that I dare entertain you in such a quality I only wait for a favourable occasion which may for my excuse witness the dear and glorious marks which you gave me of your love and account of me and how much I am already Sir c. The Answer LAdy I am no longer able to keep my words from letting my heart fall upon this paper your Letter having won me to you in such a sort that I have no power over my self but what you leave me the joy I have entertain'd from your lines having not yet restor'd me to my reason this may seem strange to you but I assure you I find no other reason to be contented to live but as you are still in the world and I am therefore only bound to preserve my self because you are unwilling to lose me Your lines sweetly invite me to give you a visit Fairest if you will have me to endure your presence take some more humane form and appear not in that fulness of splendor lest I forget what you are and never cease to do you continual acts of reverence and when I should speak to you should overflow with prayers and thanks conceiving that I may have fortune from others but glory from none but you Let me intreat you therefore when I approach your favours that you would give them out by tale and distribute them by measure that he may not be too far transported beyond himself who is Lady c. From a Lady consenting to her Servants Requests SIR I must not wish you good without endeavouring to do it as far as my weak endeavours will permit me I have so many affections that I remain unmoveable so that you may be assur'd if you can love your self that you need not to doubt of my endearments to you Sir though I cannot be regular in observing complements I shall never be negligent in necessary duties and so often think of you that you need not to sollicite my thoughts True friendship is always attended with remembrance and they that can forget were never truly in love When we fix upon a worthy object we should resemble the Covetous who have no less care to conserve then to heap up treasure All that for the present I shall request you is that you would be more bold to employ me and think if I want a memory to accomplish your desires that I am then on my death-bed This is the assurance you may expect from her who is Your c. To her Servant resolving not to Marry SIR I am not yet in the mind to change the blessedness of my Liberty for the Purgatory of Marriage you tell me a Wife is the wealth of the mind you must except all all jealousies and dislikes that may happen Then that she is the welfare of the heart 't is so when her youth with beauty her wit with vertue have that happy agreement between themselves so as to command the affections But Sir you are not to learn they have left most of our sex It were a sin to pry further into their imperfections the terms you write on being so extreamly opposite But if I am not deceived in my reading the learned express that they weaken the strength confound the business of our life empty the purse with a thousand other feat qualities which when I meet you next you shall be sure to hear of Till when wishing you the continuance of that quiet wherein you boast your self to live I decline this theame of your wiving Letter till our next visit I bid you farewell and rest Your c. To his Mistress Sick Madam THough the most fair envy your beauties and the most perfect your merits yet are they silenced by your charms nay sickness it self is render'd captive by the puissence of your allurements though if it wound you now it is but with the wounds that you have made and doubtless it hath seiz'd on you hoping that by possession of your fair body it may both change its name and nature so that it is pardonable both for its love and for its subtlety Neither do I believe that it is you but your rigour that it aims to destroy be you less cruel and the disease will asswage otherwise you will be in danger of
your life Though doubtless the consideration of destroying so many marvels will stop his designs Death oft-times make use of love against us so that he will have a care of your life as of his keenest weapon wherewith he brings us men under his command making us willing to yield to his stroak as the refuge of that misery into which your cruelty oft-times throws us This I know by experience as being your Slave To his Mistriss despairing of her Favour though unjustly offended against her Madam WHat avails it you to make me feel your Thorns when I have gather'd your Flower Why do you blame in words him whom you have honour'd in effects and blame him without cause who cannot praise you but unjustly Moderate your severity seeing that it offends you more then it hurts me I have protested a thousand times that I never was faulty as you thought me though it was to no purpose you believing otherwise It suffices for my satisfaction that I know the truth and that I have essay'd all the ways in the world to make you understand it though in vain Adieu most fair but yet too cruel if you leave me triumphing over the most worthy subject in the world I leave you vanquish'd by a more faithful Lover A Letter of Consolation to a Mistress upon the death of her Servant Madam I Believe that if you have been the last who have understood the death of your Servant that you will be one of the first and indeed the onely person who will in your soul celebrate the sad remembrance of him a much longer time than any of his Friends not that his merit doth oblige you for I well know that all merit loses its esteem in your presence being so perfect as you are nor your Piety though it be a thing natural to you with your other vertues but only his love and constancy as being both equally incomparable Neither do I believe that either of these do oblige you at all for though his love were very great that could not be otherwise seeing you were his object no more than his constancy whatever it were so that to say the truth I know not what can urge you to bewail his loss unless it be the goodness of your inclinations being as mild and sweet as you are fair and consequently full of Piety I should weep my self for having the least thought to condemn your tears yet give me leave to believe that when you remember that the fires proceeding from your eyes did help to consume his life it would make them weep for sorrow Now what punishment will you impose upon your Beauty if there be nothing in you that hath partaken of the millions of pains which he hath endured for your sake Certainly you ought to suffer Shipwrack in the Sea of your tears unless the God of Love have need of you for one of his Altars Since you are the only Idol to whom all mortals will present the sacrifices of their Servitude And as for my self who have undertaken to succeed to the merits and constancy of your deceased Servant I will not give assurances in words for deeds themselves shall always be my sureties Dry up your tears stop your sighs I summon you to this duty in the behalf of Reason it self knowing that his Commands are to be obey'd Madam when I first put Pen to Paper I had a design to comfort you but knowing the greatness of your resolution against all sorts of accidents I chang'd my intention to assure you of the love and servitude that I have vow'd to you under the title of Madam Your most humble Servant Letters SIR I Know 't is to no purpose to dispute of Civilities with you who live in the light of the world and are so well stor'd with the best words to express them I know too well that the excellency that dwells in you begets at the same time desires to preserve as well as to acquire your favour I have but one grief that I have not Soul enough to judge of those perfections that dwell in you which though I can never attain rightly to conceive yet I am confident no man can honour them more so that should you call me your Idolater you could not strain a word that could so rightly as that express my respects toward you Sir Complements are very rare with me and therefore I request you to believe me when I say that they must be very strong cords and dangerous commandments that shall remove me from your service I know I can never deserve such violent proofs of my obedience it shall suffice me that I doubt not of your love as being Sir Your most devoted Servant To his Absent Friend SIR IF I thought Fortune could be so much our Friend I should request her to make us inseparable that I might be no more oblig'd thus to write since the entertainments that distant friends do give and take by Letters is but a picture of those between persons presents for to say the truth a Letter is but a Copy of that which makes us more curious of the original a Glass that shadows to us stronger desires to enjoy the person that is absent The very lines I receive from you carrying with them the effects of joy to hear from you and of a passion to be more near you that I might not still be forc'd to write that to you which I would willingly protest and find occasions more and more to testifie what I am and ever shall be To his Friend complaining of Neglect SIR THE Friendship which you have promised me and the service which you have protested to me force me now to demand the reason of your silence I question not but that you will want no excuse to plead for your self But I entreat you to believe that unless they be very lawful I shall not cease to complain of you You do well to lay the fault sometimes upon your urgent occasions sometimes upon the indisposition of your body but all this is no satisfaction to me Confess but your fault crave pardon and you shall have it presently granted This is the way to preserve eternally the friendship of Your most humble Servant The Answer SIR YOu do me so great a favour in complaining of me that I am constrained to give you thanks instead of taking the least offence at you This is not because I want excuses to authorize my silence but the interest that you have in me which makes me to condemn my self resolving hence forward that you shall rather complain of my importunity then of my sloathfulness Which is the protestation of Sir Your most humble Servant Return of Thanks SIR I Protest that you have obliged me with a Favour and that so perfectly that I must be your Debtor all the dayes of my life I wish that an opportunity would offer it self for you to employ me in your service that I might testifie to you that since your favours
men A. Because they are ashamed to talk of an unhansom business that is already past Q. What is the benefit of sneezing A. To purge the expulsive power and vertue of the sight Q. Why are all the senses in the head A. Because the brain is there on which all the senses do depend Q. How should a man behave himself to a coy Lady A. As if he were in the field to charge her home Q. Why is wit compared to brush-wood and judgment to tinder A. Because one gives the greatest flame and the other yields the durablest heat but both meeting together make the best fire Q. Why is a soldier so good an antiquary A. Because he hath kept the old fashion when the first bed was the ground Q. Why may Aretin be accounted an expert artillery man A. Because he gave directions for the postures Q. When does the world end with an old man A. When he begins to dote on a young wench Q. what replied the fellow when one bid him hold his horse A. He said it was but one mans work he might do it himself Q. What is reported of the Executioner A. That if he do not mend his Manners he is likely to trust his life to the mercy of one of his own trade Q. What said one to a Lady that had so many patches on A. That she could not well laugh for fear of shewing of two faces Q. VVhat is a bawd A. She is a charcoal that hath been burnt her self and therefore is able to kindle a whole copper Q. How did Master Not of the Inns of Court love a citizens wife A. Like any thing Q. what is the most lascivious part of a woman A. Her rowling eye Q. what said the Vintner of Southwark when the Parson killed his wife in the Percullis A. By and by anan anan Sir I come I come Sir by and by Q. Why is love painted with flowers in one hand and a fish in another A. To show that without any contestation he governs both by sea and land Q. why is marriage compared to a sea voyage Qu. Because if people have not the greater and the better fortune They are very likely to be cast away Q. which is most jealous the man or the woman A. The woman though men have most cause you know why Q. Why are some left handed A. Because in some persons the heart sendeth not heat to that side Q. Why can women endure thin clothing in the winter better then men A. Because being naturally cold they feel cold the less Q. what creature is that which bringeth forth at eace nourisheth her young and goes with young again Sol. A hare Q. what is that which being first water assumes the form of a stone and still retains it A. Crystal congealed by frost Q. which is the quickest of the sences A. The eye Q. why is it better to marry a widow then a maid A. Causa patet Q. What may be said of a covetous rich man A. That he freezes before the fire Q. What reply did one of the Tylers make to the other when he said You do your work too slightly A. Brother said he we must work at one time as we intend to have work at another Q. what was the reply to one that gave him this complement Sir I wish that every hair of my head were a groom to do you service A. He replied Sir I wish that every blast from my back side were a cannon bullet ready charged to batter down your enemies Q. A cowardly Captain askt a Soldier whether he knew him or no A. The Soldier replyed I should have known you if you had shown me your back for that I have seen often but I never saw your face before Q. When will the Vintner at Aldersgate pull off the Mourning from his sign A. When Wine is at the old price Q. A fearful bashful Countrey-fellow was askt whether he would go to bed to his bride A. No quoth he I 'le go to Bed to my mother that I will Q. Whence is it that those people that wash in the winter in warm water feel more cold then those that wash in cold water A. Because that the warm water opens the pores and gives an entrance to the cold whereas cold water on the contrary shuts the pores for cold is restringent Q. wherefore is it that the Hycup especially if it be not very violent ceaseth in holding the breath or else if we are suddenly frighted or afflicted with some opinionate unhappiness or else with the taking of vinegar A. Because the Hycup proceeds of a sudden difficulty in breathing and that in holding our breath it must be of necessity that we shall a little after respire by course also we being made attentive to that we are fearful of makes us hold our breath and sometimes with a profound sigh fetcht from the stomach it hinders the cause of the Hycup Q. Can you in few words give an illustration or description of the body A. Yes the body is the dwelling of the soul the eyes are the windows of the soul the brows the portals of the mind the ears the interpreters of sounds the lips the leaves of the mouth the hands the workmen of the body the heart thereceptacle of life the lungs the bellows of the air the stomac the orderer of meat the bones the strengthners and the legs the colums of the body Q. What seed is that which joyneth all the countries of the world together A. Hempseed of which is made sails for ships that transmit them far and near Q. What art is that which makes use of the wildest things in the world A. Physick Q. What was the Welsh-mans meaning when he said He had the law in hur own hand A. He was burnt in the hand Q. One said painters were cunning fellows the other askt why A. Because said he they are sure to find a colour for whatsoever they do Q. One said to a sturdy begger friend it is a custom amongst those of your trade if a man doth not give you to rail at him A. The begger answered thinking to get something of him Ah master I am none of those Say you so says the gentleman I will try you for once and so away he went but never unbuttoned his fob Q. One boasted himself to be a wit saying That the world spoke him to be all wit A. One that stood by and knew him very well Is it possible that you are taken to be a wit or to be all wit I only took you to be a wittal Qu. What is a meer common Lawyer A. He is a foil to make a discreet one look the fairer Q. what is a Bragadocia welsh-man A. He is one that hath the abilities of his mind in potentia but not in actu Q. why do some of our Lay Preachers hold forth so long A. Because their ware being course they can afford the larger measure Q. what is cast beauty
stout trout thought devout wrought taught thought Outh grouth mouth south youth Ove above clove love dove drove grove move approve reprove rove shove shrove stove strove Vb. cub chub dub grub rub scrub stub shrub sillabub snub tub Vse abuse accuse excuse refuse chuse recluse secluse cruse dues diffuse confuse transfuse juice Jews luce muse news scrues sluce spruce stews sues truce use Vck buck chuck duck luck muck pluck suck stuck Vd bud blood cud flood hood good mud sud spud stood understood wood Vde brewd conclude imbrewd eschewd seclude exclude include crude feud glewd dew'd lewd mu'd renewd rude scrude shewd spud stu'd strewd intrude detrude obtrud'd view'd Vdge budge Judge grudge drudge adjudge snudge trudge Vff buff cuff ruff stuff puff huff muff tough enough chuff Ve blue brew imbrue eschew drew dew due accrue few slew glew hew hue Hugh jew knew fore-knew lieu mue renew scrue shew ensue sue slew shew spew strew threw true view you Vg bugg drugg dugg rugg hugg jugg lugg tugg shrugg trugg pugg Vl bull cull dull sorrowfull pitiful mercifull full gull hull lull mull annul disanul pull trull wooll Vle mule pule rule thule Vld bulld gulld dulld annulld disannulld lulld mulld pulld Vlfe engulf wolf gulf Vlk bulk hulk sculk Vlse pulse repulse Vm bumb come dum overcome drum some dumb gum hum mum num plumb some scum sum swum thumb thrum stum womb whom Vmp bump jump crump trump lump pump stump rump thump trump Vme sume presume perfume plum rheum assume Vn dun done gun run bun sun some shun stun spun tun wun Vne prune tune Vnce dunce ounce nunce Vnch bunch clunch munch punch hunch Vnd stund sund shund tund Vng bung clung dung hung among flung rung sprung sung stung swung tongue young Vnge plunge spunge Vnk. drunk munk punk shrunk sunk shrounk slunk stunk trunk Vnt amount surmount blunt hunt fount runt wont Vp up cup tup sup Vr bur blur cur demur fur slur spur sir Vre demure inure cure endure sure allure ensure obscure assure pure skuer Vrb disturb curb Vrse disburse curse purse worse nurse burse Vrch burch church lurch Vrd. bird blurd furd stird absurd curd slurd spurd sword turd word Vrf. scurf turf Vrge vide Orge purge surge scourge Vrk. lurk turk work Vrle curle hurle churle purle whirle Vrld curld whirld world hurld purld Vrn urn burn churn turn torn spurn mourn Vrt blurt spurt curt durt hurt wurt flurt Vss buss us truss thus puss Vsh bush blush brush crush flush hush push gush plush rush tush thrush Vsk busk husk musk tusk Vst bust crust entrust dust gust just lust must rust trust thrust Vt but cut gut glut nut put foot rut scut slut strut shut hut Vte flute recrute dispute impute repute compute depute lute suite mute Vtch clutch hutch much grutch crutch such smutch touch crowch Vth. truth Ruth youth pursu'th Vrst disburst curst accurst durst burst purst worst first nurst Vcks bucks ducks plucks tucks dux sucks THE ART of REASON IN THE ART of LOGICK Rendred so plain and easie by Questions and Answers that the meanest capacity may in a short time attain to the perfect ways of Arguing or Disputing The first Book of the Art of Logick CAP. 1. What Logick is Q. WHat is Logick A. Logick is the Art of disputing well and in that sense is called Logick CAP. 2. The parts of Logick and kinds of Arguments Q. How many parts hath Logick A. Logick hath two parts Invention and Judgment Q. What is Invention A. Invention is a part of Logick of inventing Arguments Q. What is an Argument A. An Argument is that which is affected to argue any thing such as are all Reasons considered apart and by themselves Q. What be the Kindes A. Artificial and Inartificial Q. What is an Artificial Argument A. That which argueth of it self Q. What be the Kindes A. First or derived from the First Q. What is First A. First is that which is of its own original Q. What be the Kindes A. Simple or Comparative Q. What is Simple A. Simple is that which is considered simply and absolutely Q. What be the Kindes A. Agreeing or disagreeing Q. What is Agreeing A. That which agreeth with the thing which it argueth Q. What be the Kindes A. Agreeing absolutely or after a certain manner Q. What is agreeing absolutely A. The Cause and Effect CAP. 3. The Efficient Procreant and Conservant Cause Q. what is the Cause A. The Cause is that by whose force the thing is Q. What is the profit of it A. This first place of Invention is the fountain of all Knowledge and he is believed to know of whom the cause is held As the Poet saith worthily The man sure happy is who cause of things doth know Q. How is the Cause divided A. Into two Kindes Efficient and Matter or Form and End Q. what is the Efficient Cause A. The Efficient Cause is that which the thing is Q. How many Kindes hath it A. There appeareth to us no true Kindes yet the great plenty of it is distinguished by certain means Q. What is that which effecteth by the first means A. That which procreateth or defendeth Q. Give me an example out of some Poet A. Ovid first remedio amoris Therefore when thou shalt look in this our medsonal Art My admonition do set idleness apart This causeth thee to love this doth defend it still This is the cause of Joy as meat sometimes breeds ill Take lastly sloath away God Cupids bow is lost His torches lose their light contemn'd away they 'r tost Q. Give me a more familiar example A. The Father and Mother procreate the Nurse defendeth Q. Give an example of this out of some Poet A. 4. Aeneid Th' rt no Gods child ne Dardanus his son Thou rather from the steep hard rocks didst come Of Caucasus it seemeth of that breed Hyrcanian Tigars thee with breasts did feed Aeglog 8. Now what this whorson love is I well wot It is a little busie boy begot Not of mans seed ne sib to one of us But farthest Garamants and Ismarus Or rockie Rhodope as it should seem In their rough ragged hills ingendred him Q. Do not builders and governours of Cities come under this Head A. Yes Romulus the builder of the City of Rome also all other Kings Consulls and Emperours are defenders and keepers CAP. 4. The Efficient alone and with others Q. What is that which effecteth by the second means A. That which effecteth alone or with others Q. What are those others A. Some oftent imes are Principal others are helping and Ministers Q. Give an example of the Cause that effecteth by it self A. Aeneid 6. Nisus called back both the blame and the punishment of the slaughter from Euryalus upon himself because he was the onely author Lo here I am who only did this deed Nations against me turn your swords with speed T' was my deceit He could it never do Ne would his courage serve