will teach them better to consider than all that you can say to their disadvantage XIII You can never with Honour highly condemn that in Women that you can so easily excuse in Men. Have a care they do not Reproach you that it is secret Envy or Pride in your self that makes you speak after this manner of them Take care that they do not impute what you say to an inexcusable weak or a shameful Jealousie in your self which is injurious to all Men that have either Wit Honour or Honesty XIV Women generally are more reserv'd and discreet than Men and it cannot be denyed but that ordinarily they are more tender and Charitable than we wherefore then do you fall so severely upon some of their Faults when you have so large a Field and so fair an occasion to praise their Virtue Believe me when you are in the Humour to censure ill Manners spare the devout Sex and consider your own you will find enough there to move your Gall and exercise your Wit CHAP. XIV Advice concerning what thoughts we should have of Greatness and Riches of our Losses and the Misfortunes of our Lives I. MY Dear Children you will never be unhappy if you do not think you are so for Happiness generally depends more upon the Opinion we have of things than upon the things themselves II. It happens very often that one is thought unhappy in the Opinion of Men when in effect he is not so if you be no otherwise unhappy than so you will have no cause to complain and in my Opinion you will be more a subject of Envy than Pity III. All our Losses and Disgraces will be lookt upon with another Eye if we know their Nature their Causes and their End and if we look upon our selves as Men condemn'd to Humiliations and Afflictions and not as Men aspiring to nothing but Riches Honours and Pleasures Look upon your self in good earnest after this manner and afterwards see if you have any Reason to complain IV. If you will consider things Morally you must agree that all things that happen is by the ordinary course of Life and our Birth makes us subject to them and by consquence you must submit your self and accustom your self to them and if you see some Men exempt from these Misfortunes stay a little and expect and you need not expect long and you will see that they have their share of them as others and perhaps a greater share than most others V. Your Grief will augment and gather new force if you be so sensible of it and on the contrary you may assure your self that if you have the Constancy to suffer it patiently it will diminish VI. If two Persons suffer the same Evil it will always be said that he that torments himself and complains most suffers most but he that suffers more than comes from the Evil it self does so from the manner and mind with which he suffers it VII To speak well of Pain and its nature you ought to be perswaded that if it be long it is but little and if it be violent it does not last long and it will put an end to the Grief that it causes upon this Principle it will not be hard to direct your Discourse VIII Affliction will never have any Power over you but what you give it your self IX There is no Pain how sensible soever it be that does not lose half its force by the Courage you have to suffer it when you resist it it will fly from you if you yield it will triumph in a word you disarm it when you do not submit to its Power X. If you do not accustom your self to suffer the smallest Pain will seem great it is enough that it is a Pain that obliges you to suffer with trouble and oftentimes even with impatience XI There are some that seem more content in their Sufferings than others in their Pleasures every one is well or ill according as he finds himself The Martyrs had more joy in the midst of their Torments than the Tyrants that condemn'd them could taste in their good Cheer their high Fortune and great Riches XII Sin excepted there is nothing ill in its own nature it is but the use that is made of it that makes it so a streight Oar is crooked in the Water it is not enough to see things but the means to see them well that makes them pass for what they are it is not that which Men believe of you will make you happy but that which you your self believe XIII There is more strength required to bear the Chain that binds us than to break it There is more force of Mind to suffer the Miseries of Life than to kill himself to be deliver'd from them There is more Courage in following the Example of Regulus than that of Cato XIV All the Losses and Disgraces imaginable are not great enough to justifie you in the weakness of wishing your own death in these cases you must think of nothing but to compose your Mind and Courage to suffer patiently XV. If you can be sufficient for your self and out of your own proper Stock find wherewith to entertain your Happiness or to fly the Evils that threaten you all possest and full of what you desire you your self will be the Object of your Attention your Thoughts and your Love like those Aegyptian Husband-men who never look'd towards Heaven for Rain because the over-flowing of the Nile was all their Hopes and all their Riches All your Wishes ought to aim at nothing but that you may peaceably enjoy all your Advantages and to have possession of your self but the goodness of God gives you leave not to be content with your self he permits that Afflictions and Sickness should make you know that there is an Eternal Good of which you ought to think and not to recken upon those Goods that may be taken from you every Hour and the enjoyment of which must end with your life XVI Whatsoever happens to you you ought not to think your self unhappy if your Wives be as they ought and your Children well inclined believe me when you have Reason to be pleased with your Domesticks all the rest ought to seem to you indifferent XVII If you have no good Fortune support your Disgraces like a good Christian with a Constancy such as may make the Philosophers ashamed It is not the first time that Religion inspir'd with such Thoughts and Grace has triumph'd over the World and Nature XVIII God dispences his Gifts as he pleases one has Health another has Wit another has Birth which is the most happy certainly he which makes best use of what he has and is content with what he is and by consequence it may be said that your Happiness is in your own Hands and depends upon your self make a serious reflection upon it and you will find it so XIX A Mind compos'd and well perswaded of the Christian Truths judges of
things as he ought and not according to the Opinion of the World and the esteem they set upon their Riches Honour and Pleasure is all the Happiness of a Man of this World do not make them yours but search for a Happiness that is not subject to the Misfortunes Losses and Afflictions which happen every Day of our Lives in this World XX. In all things that concern your self do not use the Balance of the World but your own that of the World will never be just to you because it neither knows the bottom of your Heart nor the disposition of your Mind it judges upon false and deceitful Appearances some pass in the World for the most Happy Men who think themselves the most unhappy XXI Your Birth your Wit and your Riches cannot make you content because there is a tranquility of Mind and a true Happiness that is not to be found in these outward Advantages and without this peace of Mind and this true Happiness you will still be Poor in the midst of Riches and not content in the middle of Pleasures XXII It is sufficiently spoken in the World that this Life is full of Afflictions and Evils and for one rich Man that is content there are a Hundred that are not so but none would be of the greater number every one desires to be this one Man distinguished and chosen of a Hundred why should you flatter your self with this distinction XXIII We all confess and acknowledge that Nature has made us subject to a Thousand Miseries we know that the Subordination that God has established amongst us that the dishonesty of some the imprudence of others and our own Passions expose us to a thousand Losses and Disgraces but we draw our selves out of the Crowd and our self-love is the Cause that we cannot see our selves amongst the Unhappy without murmering and Complaining why do we do our selves this Favour Do we see any thing that gives us Reason to do it XXIV Do not look upon Losses and Disgraces as real Evils but as occasions to make us have a dependence upon the Providence of God and to do it with respect and submission XXV If it be from the Providence of God and from his power that you find your self induc'd to praise him that the Plains and the Woods the Valleys and the Mountains the Flies and the Elephants are the Proofs of his infinite Power you ought not to have less inducements to praise him from the different states of the Poor and Rich the Sick and the Sound Shepherds and Kings are the astonishing proofs of his adorable Providence XXVI Set all these Truths always in your sight the more you consider them the less Esteem and Love will you have for Worldly Riches and Pleasures XXVII Let the Law that commands you to live contented in the State that God has plac'd you in be always well-pleasing to you have no less submission to his Order in what relates to Riches than in what relates to the advantages of your Birth and Witt. XXVIII You never yet thought that you had Reason to complain that you had not lived in Ages past and you have no more reason to complain of the Riches that another Man possesses because God is the disposer of Riches as well as Times he has made your Birth in such an Age as it has pleased him he has likewise given you such Riches as has pleased him in all that you have you have nothing to do but to lift up your Eyes to Heaven and to bless him that has given you what you have and made you what you are CHAP. XV. Advice upon true and false Devotion I. MY Dear Children know that false Devotion consists in this that you desire to be thought a Good and Pious Man and true Devotion that you be really so II. If you do nothing but in the Sight of God and nothing but for his sake you will certainly be of the Number of truly Devout but there are few that have Motives so pure that Interest and Reputation have not some share in what they do III. Then when you are about to do some good Action and have forsaken the World perhaps you will not have forsaken your self have a care that a little self-love and Vanity be not in your Way when you do it IV. I say further have a care that when you have forgotten the World in your Memory you do not retain it in your Heart and when you think you have absolutely forsaken it have a care that the World do not more live in you than you in the World V. When you do a good deed with applause it may lose the half of its merit because it is almost impossible that Nature will not also find its Account and that doing this good Deed you be not puft up with the Reputation it brings you VI. It is not sufficient that to be a good Man you do no ill but you must do good To do no ill because perhaps you are not in a condition to effect it or your Humour and Inclinations does not lead you to it this is no great matter there is neither Merit nor Virtue in it VII There needs but one bad Inclination to make a Man Vitious but a great many good inclinations are necessary to make a Man Virtuous for that Reason there are few that are Virtuous but the number is great of those that are not so VIII It will be easie for you to live without Trouble or Sickness if you do not love Gluttony and Drunkenness but if you love Money it will be difficult for you not to be covetous as it is for them that are brought up and accustomed to Pleasures to renounce them for ever IX The Merit of an Action is greater by the Circumstances and Motives that caused it that is the Reason that he that gives a little sometimes gives more than he that gives a great deal more X. Of two Persons that discourse together of Virtue he that speaks most does not always speak the best nor yet he that speaks the best is not always the most Virtuous Man but of the three he that most desires to be so and that is most industrious to become so A Man cannot love and esteem Virtue except he be a Possessor of it that is the Reason he loves it and that he is always afraid to lose it XI A Woman loves Beauty but not for the love she bears to Beauty but because she loves her self that is the Reason she does not love it in others and that she is jealous of those that are like her self it is not the same with you If you love Virtue in others it is a Proof that you love your self less than you love Virtue and that it pleases you in all Persons where you find it XII Do good without regard what others will say and never consider what Reflexions others will make Do good because you love it and love it because it is amiable
of those we have had and of those which yet we may have XVII Sometimes we condemn Vain-glory but yet we love it and pursue it like to Rivers which fly themselves and at the same time follow themselves we are so filled with Vanity that we flie our selves and seek our selves and do not find our selves contented either with the one or the other XVIII We fly Pride under its own Name but give it more specious and honest Names and then run after it and in a word we disguise it so to our selves that it no longer frights us but we love it without scruple and even so we deceive our selves with Pleasure and are sworn Enemies to Pride if our own Words may be believ'd but we make it all our care and the delight of our Hearts XIX Set not too great a value upon the esteem of Men and their Praises for in this they are very capricious the true Reward of a good action is that you have done it the rest depends upon the Mind and interest of those it relates to one will see it by a false Light another sees it as it is but perhaps through Envy will not speak of it as he ought XX. Our Religion teaches us that we should not set our Love upon Worldly Honours nor its Praises it teaches us to fly all the Thoughts of Vanity that it may inspire us with it teaches you not to applaud your own Conduct nor to value your own merit it teaches you not to look upon what you have done as any thing extraordinary that should distinguish you and set you above others XXI Religion teaches you not to consider your self with a secret complaisance and not to wish that others may have Thoughts to your Advantage and not to trouble your self and be transported against those that are noted not to comply with you in your pretended merit XXII This sort of Spirit will hinder you from raising your self upon the ruin of others this will hinder you from regarding those things that may distinguish you from others as the advantages of your Birth and Wit and this will oblige you oftentimes to cast an Eye upon your own defaults XXIII This Spirit teaches you to value the good that you do and not the praises that attend it it teaches you not to see your self by a false Light and not to withdraw your self from the true Light to the end that all your actions may appear to be no other than what really they are XXIV So many Persons of Quality of Wit and Merit have renounced the glory of the World and by a generous disdain all that could be consider'd in it This may make an impression upon your Hearts this that I say to you now is but an Eccho to repeat to you here that which so many brave actions have said and made such a noise when they have been blazon'd abroad in the World XXV The more you despise the Honours and Praises of the World the more you will be esteem'd Men will give you that with pleasure which you refuse by your Virtue and then the value they have for you will come from the Heart and will not end in the outward Proofs of a respect that is forc'd or in studied affected and extravagant praises XXVI Delight in fearing God and living according to the Dictates of your Conscience and not in your Birth Employments or Riches Value your selves less upon being persons of Quality than upon your making your selves appear such by your Life and Behaviour which you should take care that it be always civil and obliging make it your glory that your Civilities and good Offices that you render to all should more make you known who you are than your Equipage and number of your Servants XXVII Know ye that there is more Honour to a Man of Quality to be familiar with those that are inferior in Birth than to carry himself with Pride and disdain towards his Inferiours XXVIII Be you always perswaded that true Honour consists chiefly in despising it and doing your Duty civilly and obligingly without expecting Praise or Reward In a word there is no Man so full of Honour and makes so good use of it as he that despises it the most CHAP. XIX Advice upon Raillery I. MY Dear Children it is seldom that Raillery is not offensive and therefore by consequence often has ill effects II. Of all Railleries those that may be made of Princes and Soveraigns ought most to be avoided You cannot be too cautious in this point there is always cause to repent of such a Liberty when you take it and give not the respect due to them III. History teaches us that the Emperour Domitian who lived in the end of the first Age led a Life so idle and effeminate that when he retired into his Closet he employed his time in catching Flies and killing them with a Bodkin as Children do Wasps this gave occasion to the Answer that one Vibius Crispus made to one of his Acquaintance who came to the Palace to make his Court and asking whether any one was with the Emperour he answer'd no not so much as a Flie. The Answer was pleasant and witty but I must tell you it cost him dear IV. How imprudent soever you may be in this point have a particular care you do not rally the faults of your Parents or Friends if you observe any forbid your Eyes the seeing of them or your Tongue speaking of them V. If you set your self up for a Railer you will be an Enemy to your own Reputation and quiet a Man that sets himself to rally puts Arms in the Hands of those that he diverts himself with and oftentimes receives more Blows than he gives VI. After you have rallied in a Company and gone out of it you are no sooner departed from it but they will examin you from Head to Foot and one that has not spoke a Word while you was present will tear you with his Teeth when you are gone and in the mean time you may be sure that none will take your part none will excuse you or be sorry for you to the contrary the most reserved by his Silence will seem to condemn your Behaviour and approve of what is spoken of you VII It may be said of a Man that hears raillery that he is a Man of Wit but the contrary of him that makes it the one makes a Business of his Wit and without reason the other is Wiser and draws himself out of it the one is blamed by every one the other praised by all VIII He that rallies without being taken notice of is like a Woman full of Paint and Patches far from pleasing is despis'd and every one takes care to avoid his Company IX It is true that oftentimes the tone and manner that one rails with is the Reason that they excuse him and are not offended at him but at the same time it must be agreed that sometimes they that are