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cause_n defendant_n judgement_n plaintiff_n 1,984 5 10.5099 5 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A43173 Proteus redivivus, or, The art of wheedling or insinuation obtain'd by general conversation and extracted from the several humours, inclinations, and passions of both sexes, respecting their several ages, and suiting each profession or occupation / collected and methodized by the author of the first part of the English rogue. Head, Richard, 1637?-1686? 1675 (1675) Wing H1272; ESTC R13684 160,760 370

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in the world and when they walk to carry their eyes and noses directly before them not daring to turn their weighty noddles on either side for fear of forfeiting their Gravity There are another brood of men who start from the Desk and snatch up a Gown and having first in their infancy been swadled and nursed up in rags of paper are at riper years somtimes out of Poverty put Clerks to Attorneys from whence without the least taste of University-Learning they advance swell'd with Presumption and full of ignorance and impudence to the Barr profit and lucre then becomes the only subject of their conversation Gain gives motion to all their actions ' and that also is the end of all their Arguments whilst Reason and Honesty are oft made Factors to their avarice if ever you have occasions that force you to make use of these Persons or to seek any favour from them they expect from you the greatest attendance and submissions but where money is to be gotten they on the contrary will be as base and servile in their flatteries how repugnant soe're this is you must dispose your self if you intend as well as they to act the Wheedle advantageously and when your thoughts are at strife about it call it a submission to necessity and occasion Vide L' Art du Complair elegantly translated and called The Art of Complaisance Lord one would wonder some of these Upstarts should so strut it in Gown and other Finery since their ancient beginning was but a blew Coat and as I have been told the Wearers thereof stood at the Hall-Gate as Plying Water-men at the Stairs And as the one cries to London-hay the other cry'd seeing any approach D' ye want a Pleader d' ye want a Pleader My young Attorney newly hatcht under a Lawyer and whilst but pen-feather'd nests for himself and either practices in anothers name for half-fees which he makes whole by acting too as a Sollicitor or else by the hoorded pence of an indulgent Mother purchases an Office two Desks and a quire of paper with a pint of Ink and an hundred of Quills and a Pen-Knife true set set him up his Office shall be lined with green and the wood adorned with Taffarels and carved work his shelves fill'd with paper and parchment and a Practice of Piety lies not more certainly in a Brothel as The Statutes at large or some Folio Law-book in his window These in time purchase him an App●entice or two with a considerable sum and his success in two or three common Causes proclaim him an able Attorney this procures him Clients more then he can mind and they produce him money more then he knows well what to do with and having gotten a wife with a good estate minds the Tavern more than the Court. Some of them have the smatch of a Scholar and yet use Latin very hardly and lest it should accuse them cut it off in the midst and will not let it speak out and fearing that his Hand-Writing should prove Traitor to his actions it is as difficult to be understood as his countenance which always looks sollicitous unless disordered by some liberal Treat it matters not at whose cost whether Plaintiff or Defendant so that it brings in Grist to the Mill and benefit from both sides I say to amuse the ignorant his looks seem careful importing much hast and dispatch whilst he only waits for an Habeas Corpus to delay the Suit for three Tearms and that he may not be suspected as idle or little employed he is never to be seen without his Hands full of business that is of paper to illustrate what I have said I must not omit the insertion of this Example B was Arrested at the suit of A B advised with an Attorney what to do not having Bail he replied Give me my Fee and I 'le appear for you and save you the trouble of Bail The Tearm following a Declaration is Filed against the Defendant who thereupon consults his Attorney and he cries nothing but Give me my Fee and I 'le defend it He delays the Suit till next Tearm at which time he must plead and then calls on his Client for money to that end and purpose besides his own Fee afresh the Assize coming on the Cause proceeds to Aniall then cries the Attorney again Give me my Fees for Counsel and charge of the Court and I 'le defend it At the Trial a Verdict passeth for the Plaintiff Oh! What must be done now cries the Defendant Then says the Attorney The Declaration is nought I 'le move the Court this next Tearm in Arrest of Judgment The Motion being made the Court confirms Judgment And Execution thereupon is coming out What shall we do now cries the Defendant We are lost undone quite undone Not so yet cries the Attorney Give me my Fee and I 'le bring a Writ of Errour and keep off Execution two or three Tearms But now observe the Error is at length argued and Judgement affirmed thereupon for the Plaintiffe with increase of Costs for the Delay no Errour being found in the Proceedings the poor Defendant at his Wits-ends not knowing what to do with a face more miserable then the first lines of an Humble Petition asks his Attorney What he shall do now Hast any moneys cries the Attorney If so we will get an Injunction and bring it into Chancery Here it may be the Cause hangs three or four Tearms at length no Equity being found the Complainants Bill is dismiss'd with Cost allowed to the Defendant hereupon the Client willing to purchase more Advice asks What must be done now the Attorney having no more delays to make advantage of with a shrug in much haste cries There 's no more to be said Go pay the Knave his money he 's a Rascal and I 'm satisfied Thus Hudibras in Rhime Burlesque So Lawyers lest the Bear Defendant And Plaintiff Dog should make an end on 't Do stave and tail with Writs of Errour Reverse of Judgements and Demurrer To let 'em breath a while and then Hoop-and so set 'em on again But to proceed I say his face seems as intricate as the most winding Cause and talks of nothing but Statutes Presidents Reports ' and the Lord knows what as if the first time he had mooted was when he was in Hanging Sleeves and that from that time he had fed on nothing but what a Judge had Cook'd for his learned Stomach whereas he had no other Porridge-pot but his Ink-horne which could not boyle him sustenance but for the fewel of his deluded Clients All his actions words and gestures are very stiff and affectedly constrained his conversation is obstinate and full of Contradiction and contrary to the pliable Complaisant wheedle grows rich by strise and wrangling What a man of worship is he when living in a Country Village all fear him but few love him the dread of him so aws some spirits that they are at a treble