shalt bee found iust and pure and it is my part as to beleeue there is equity and iustice in all thy proceedings 〈◊〉 sometimes through my blindnesse I cannot sometimes through my 〈◊〉 I will not 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 so euen when 〈◊〉 doe most bitterly smart to bridle my vnruly passions and with a calme and subdued heart to kisse the rod wherewith I haue been scourged and to indeuour by all meanes that thy righteousnesse as it is indeed so it may shine cleere and bright to the face of all the world Behold I was borne in iniquitie and in sinne hath my mother conceiued me Vpon the straight inquisition and exact suruay of my selfe and my sinnes searching and ransacking euery corner of my house of clay I haue found a noysome sincke and filthy puddle or rather a poysoned and poysonous spring a paternall or a parentall sinne an hereditary a radicall and originall sinne whence all the sinnes of my thoughts words and deedes are continually and plentifully deriued This is that canker of sin which being bred in the bone will neuer out of the flesh This is the law of my members which doth alwaies resist the Law of my minde the euerliuing seed of rebellion which maintaines the implacable warre betweene the flesh and the Spirit which will neuer 〈◊〉 till mortality hath put on immortality and death the last enemy be swallowed vp in victory This is peccatum peccans a sinning or a spurning sinne It is a sinne a punishment of sinne and a cause of sinne Which yet I do not alleadge to excuse or extenuate but rather to accuse my selfe and aggrauate my sinne knowing right well that the viler I am in mine owne the more acceptable I shall bee in thy sight and hoping that the franke confession of my miserable condition proceeding from true humiliation and contrition will the rather moue thy tender compassion as beggers vpō earth to stir the bowels of pitty in their beholders lay open to their view their grieuous sores and lothsome diseases The greater misery is the fitter obiect of thy greater mercy the more desperate the malady the more honourable will the cure bee to the Phisician Where my sinne abounds thy grace delighteth to superabound For the onely and singuler sinne of Adam as of him that bare the person of all his posterity is iustly the sinne of the whole posterity and all being guilty of sinne by his singuler sinfull act thou O God in thy Iustice diddest permit the naturall propagation of sinne in his off-spring which deserued such a punishment for such a sinne Hereupon it commeth that my inbred corruption and the inherent sting of sensuality in mee who sinned in Adams as Leui tithed in Abrahams loynes is not the first cause of my guilt but a fruite or reward thereof according to thy iust iudgment whence it may well bee termed the penalty of sinne For that prime sin the chiefe source of sinne which the further it runneth the faster it increaseth by this streame falling into it growes in the end to such a strong and forcible current as doth euen carry and compell me violently to sinne if thy grace do not resist the 〈◊〉 thereof because hence doe flow my sinfull passions my euill affections my sinister inclinations and from them my sinnes of action or omission which are sins of action also in their full perfection or imperfection rather which I daily or rather hourely and continually commit In which regard my woe arising from mine owne wickednesse my case is most deplorable euery way Wherefore I beseech thee with the eyes of pitty and mercy to behold it I was conceiued in sinne And therefore there is no sinne that I am not apt and ready to conceiue yea to engender and produce from imagination to assent from assent to delectation from delectation to resolution from resolution to execution if thou O Lord doe not beget me anew by the immortall seed of thy Word if thou doe not quell and extinguish in me this old seede which will alwaies be springing and sprouting in the ranke soyle of my sinfull flesh When my mother first warmed me in her bowels shee conceiued sinne when she brought me forth into the world she was deliuered of a child of sinne The child in the mothers wombe is held to be a part of the mother and vndoubtedly the mother hath a great share in the Child before shee depart with it besides her nature and substance shee imparts vnto it her qualities inclinations and dispositions being as it were a scion takē from her tree and a collop cut out of her flesh That which is borne of flesh is flesh and therefore holy 〈◊〉 asketh this vnanswerable question Who shall appeare cleane before thee or Who 〈◊〉 bring a cleane thing out of an 〈◊〉 Not onely actuall 〈◊〉 but 〈◊〉 and naturall not the second motions of it onely put into forme but the first that are vnshapen doe plot and contriue the treason are authors if not actors of it they bring fewel to the fire which afterwards is kindled and set a burning that fomentation of sinne is not onely the cause of sinne and the punishment of sinne but sinne it selfe This is that threefold cord euery part and piece whereof is sinfull that bindes me fast to the barre of thy iustice First Adam his primitiue sinne then the diriuation of sinne to all his posterity and afterwards the particular actions of sinne proceeding from them both Now if I were a sinner in my mothers wombe when and where shall I be faultlesse If I were so bad before I saw the light how should I not be much worse when through the corruption of the world and the contagion of sin I haue sucked in the infectious aire thereof How can it bee but that my inbred naughtinesse must needes gaine strength and gather increase And what can the progresse and end bee when the beginning of my life is so 〈◊〉 and sinfull If I bee cast out of my mothers wombe into the roade-way of sinne and trauell the iourney of sin still onward let mee but recount the vanity of 〈◊〉 childhood the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 my youth the slips or rather falls of my 〈◊〉 age the infirmities of my old age and I shall 〈◊〉 finde that from my 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 to my death and 〈◊〉 I trod the way not of life but of sinne 5. 〈◊〉 I was conceiued in sinne 6. Behold thou louest Truth c. IN these two Ecce's which are happily sorted together I desire to intimate two remarkeable things The one is the misery of my wretched condition The other the largenesse of thy tender affection The first Ecce is on thy part Behold O Lord my conception and birth in sinne behold mee drowned and ouerwhelmed in a sea of sin The other Ecce is on my part I behold in thee O Lord a fire of loue because thou louest the least sparkles of grace in mee which mounting vpwards make me
houses that at their comming in and going out they might bee euer mindfull of their iourney and passage to death If those Heathen by the light of nature tooke so wise a course how much more ought Christians by the lampe of grace still behold their sins as their Graues wherein their soules must lye eternally buried vnlesse they bee timely raised and thorowly renewed by repentance As the sight of the Brazen Serpent did cure the sting of the serpents so the 〈◊〉 and displeasing sight of my sins doth take away the biting of these serpents So then in the middest of the discontent which I finde in this fearefull and wofull sight of my grieuous sins there is this singular comfort that thou in mercy turnest thy face from them thou castest them behinde thee while I set them before mee They doe not deepely displease thee and me at one and the same time when they procure my sorrow and humiliatiō they cease to prouoke thine anger and indignation My sins neuer 〈◊〉 mee but when they delight mee they neuer displease thee but whē they please me Wherefore as fóule as the obiect as odious as the 〈◊〉 is in my better iudgement I am contented with an impatient patience still to represent it to my soule because howsoeuer in it selfe vgly it vshers me by degrees to the view and contemplation of thy vndeserued loue and fauor which at length as the bright sun dispels all the cloudes of care and mists of Melancholy and raises my deiected heart to the participation of vnspeakable consolation Wretched and vnhappy I was in committing so great and grieuous sinnes but I am happy in a sort in this vnhappinesse if I haue eyes to see my sins being committed to see them as it were thorow a perspectiue glasse so as they may seeme in ful proportion as great to mee as they are in deed Satan deales with his vassales as the Rauen doth with the Lambe the Rauen first picks out the silly creature his eyes and then carries him out of the way securely to deuoure him First Satan blindes me in sinne and then hee bindes me in the chaines of darknesse as fast as hee can of purpose to throw me into vtter darkenesse When after shippewracke I see the Rocke which I could not foresee before I fell vpon it I striue by all meanes to auoyde it the second time When I see my sinnes past in the true lineaments of their vgly shape I cannot but bee shie and wary to shun the like monsters euer after When the bayted hook of sinne is cast before me I see the baite of pleasure only but not the hooke of thy iudgements but after I haue beene catched and felt and seene the bare hooke without a bayte I become circumspect and suspect euery bit I swallow for feare lest I be ensnared againe My sinne is euer against me ranged as it were and marshalled in battaile aray against me My sinne doth proudly affront and directly oppose mee nay it doth euen outface mee shamelesly Before Nathan came vnto me I had cast my sinnes behinde my backe his message hath caused mee to transpose them for now they are set before my face they stand stoutly against me euen to my face My sinne O Lord as it is a witnesse so is it an informer against my conscience it charges and conuicts me before thy iudgement seate I haue no hope of preuarication I see no way of euasion It makes hue and crie against mee with eager pursuite it will not giue ouer till I be apprehended and deliueted into the hands of iustice When there is no man to vexe mee outwardly I torment my selfe inwardly as holy Iob confessed in those words Why hast thou set me ouer against thee I am become burden some euen to my selfe Thou diddest set his sinnes against him which made him conceiue that thou diddest set him against thee as a marke to shoote thine arrowes of anger at but when 〈◊〉 began thorowly to feele thou diddest begin graciously to ease him of his burden My sinne as it opposes against mee so it interposes betweene thee and me in such sort as neither my prayers can ascend to thee nor thy graces descend to mee vnlesse thy mercy interuene to keepe the peace and cleere the passage betweene vs. Against thee thee only haue I 〈◊〉 Now my inclosed sorrow must haue vent my oppressed conscience must be disburthened This knowledge and representation breeds an acknowledgement and recognition of my sin The contrition of my heart forceth from me a confession of my mouth I can hold no longer but must needs with teares in mine eyes and anguish in my soule crie out Peccaui and with an ingemination by way of aggrauation Against thee against thee onely to declare my iust indignation against my selfe for committing so foule and grieuous faults against that great Maiestie and that gracious goodnesse which I haue so highly offended And thus doe I limit and as it were appropriate my offences as committed against thee alone for many causes For although I haue sinned against Heauen and against Earth yet is there no witnesse of my sinne on earth but thou O God in Heauen so closely and cunningly haue I carried it That I defiled the wife to conceale that destroyed the life of Vriah was not knowne to the world that I so treacherously and cruelly exposed to slaughter a great troope of Souldiers fighting for mee and vnder my command to couer my wicked designe against Vriah was hidden from the eyes of men Thou knowest and seest all things wherefore against thee onely haue I sinned Againe though there bee no man that dare reprooue mee that will accuse me that cā punish me being a King and aboue the Law yet euery King and kingdome vpon earth is subiect to thee the King of Kings and thy soueraignety I must render thee an account of my demeanour which I tremble and quake to thinke of Moreouer although I haue not onely sinned against thee in Heauen but scandalized men on earth also yet it vexeth mee beyond all comparison that I haue wittingly and presumptuously offended thee Although all the world should 〈◊〉 emee yet it is too too much to me to finde and feele thee my Iudge that mine own conscience doth summon mee before thy Tribunall and frame my proces against me before thy Iudgement seate In this case no flattery of my seruants who according to the fashion of Court doe sooth and claw their Masters can lessen my paine asswage mine anguish or pacifie my conscience Say what they will or can I must say still Against thee against thee only I haue offended Furthermore none but thou that art iust and without sinne hast of right the cognizance of sinne and coertion of offenders Sinners are not competent Iudges of sinners Men doe murmur and grudge to giue account of their sinfull actions to sinfull men who are tainted with the same or greater vices but
more to abhor the bloud of man wherein his life consisteth Deliuer mee O God from the guilt of that bloud which I haue spilt by the 〈◊〉 of Captaine 〈◊〉 and so many Souldiers vnder his commaund from the punishment of that sinne threatned by Nathan that bloud should not depart from my house and finally from future bloud that I may neuer embrew my hands in bloud hereafter The teares of those widdowes whose husbands were slaine in that disastrous assault made at Rabbah the cryes of those children whose Fathers then lost their liues haue mounted vp to 〈◊〉 do frame my Enditement and make my Processe against me before thy Tribunall and doe call instantly for iudgement according to the iust law of Retaliation He that sheddeth mans bloud his bloud shall be shed Wherefore that I may the sooner obtaine my pardon in such latitude as I desire it I doe re-enforce my prayer with all manner of zeale and earnestnesse Deliuer me O God thou that art the God of my saluation I double thy Name when I tender this single supplication hoping by my affectionate insinuation and vehement compellation to draw thy gracious compassion towards me I take hold of thee as it were with both my hands I cry incessantly for pardon of this sin which cries so eagerly in thine eares for vengeance against me Thou God of my saluation I said elsewhere that saluation is the Lords because it can flow from no other fountaine but here I desire to apply it particularly to draw the water to mine owne Mill and to appropriate it as it were wholly to my selfe Thou art of that gracious nature as wee cannot better please thee then by challenging a speciall interest in thy loue by assuring our selues that thou art ours so that howsoeuer our premisses be generall for remission of sins our conclusion must be speciall proper and peculiar Thou art my God and the God of my saluation I will sing ioyfully or aloud of thy Righteousnesse The satisfaction should be answerable to the trespasse done and the retribution to the benefit receiued in some proportion As to a greater sinne a deeper repentance is due so for a more bountiful fauor a larger returne of thankefulnesse is of congruence required I haue grieued beyond measure for my bloody sinne for the inestimable benefit of my free pardon I know not what to render againe In briefe I can returne nothing but praises and thankes a poore requitall for so rich a mercy But sithence I can yeeld no better no other it is meete I should improoue this and set it forth to the vtmost aduantage Wherefore I will sing ioyfully with a liuely spirit with a cheerefull heart I will sing vocalissimè Alleluia My tongue shall become a Trumpet of thy praises which shall sound them out lustily and loudly I will bestow all my breath and strength in proclayming thine honour I will become a chiefe Chanter I will eleuate the note in the highest straine I will so chant out thy praises as thou shalt take notice of it abundantly and so as the noyse may be heard not only in my priuate Chappell or Oratory but in the chiefe Cathedrall Churches in the greatest congregations on Earth yea euen in the blessed Synode of Angels and Saints in heauen Nay I will not onely sing my selfe but I will call in others also to make vp a full Quire O come 〈◊〉 vs sing loudely let vs 〈◊〉 reioyce c. Thy righteousnesse that is Thy faithfulnes and truth in accomplishment of thy gracious promises to such as truly and sincerely repent and humbly hopefully craue pardon for their sinnes for true iustice doth much consist in the due performance of promises Thou thy selfe hast made thy selfe our debtor not by receiuing from vs. but by promising to vs. No man can say vnto thee Render Lord what thou hast receiued but euery man may and must say Performe O Lord what thou hast promised All thy waies are mercy and truth Mercy whereby thou forgiuest sinners and Truth whereby thou makest good thy promises O then how happy are the people whose God is the Lord who by his 〈◊〉 promise is become their faithfull debtor and whose iustice giues assurance of his mercy whose mercy and truth are met together and whose righteousnesse and peace haue kissed each other So as by a reuerent confidence and a holy kinde of boldnesse I may 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 thee in this 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 by the worth of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 but by 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of thy promise not to lay my sinnes to my charge bee they neuer so many neuer so great I may pleade my interest in the death of my Sauiour and in thy faithfull promise and free pardon to this effect O my God thou that art the God of my saluation it is agreeable to diuine and humane iustice to keepe promise to performe couenant In the new and sacred couenant it is the Article of Inprimis as they say that thou wilt forgiue the sinnes of thy people remember their iniquities no more Make good then thy word and full agreement really and effectually It stands not with thy iustice to exact twice one and the same debt of mee My suerty and elder Brother Christ Iesus hath paied the debt which I owed hath suffered the punishment which I deserued wherefore enter not into iudgement with thy vnworthy seruant O Lord but for the 〈◊〉 of his death and passion accepted by thee with free consent for full satisfaction let me be acquited and discharged of all my transgressions whatsoeuer I will rely and repose my selfe securely vpon thy word and promise because thou hast ratified and confirmed it with an oath with a solemne oath Thou hast sworne by thy selfe because there is no greater to sweare by by thy 〈◊〉 the Lord Iehouah sware vnto Dauid Truth that is a true oath a faithful promise or Truth that is God sware vnto Dauid He will not turne away the face of his Anoynted his seed shall indure for euer thou hast sworne by thy life I will not the death of a sinner if he repent he shall liue Oh happy people for whose cause thou vouchsafest to sweare Oh most miserable wretches if we beleeue thee not when thou swearest Thy word O Lord is an 〈◊〉 in it selfe and of it selfe so faithfull thou art but to giue vs full 〈◊〉 thou dost condescend to our capacity and infirmity thou makest assurance to men after the manner of men with whom a promise clothed with an oath seemes of greater strength and validity then a bare and naked word and therefore out of abundance of thy loue dost vse a protestation or adiuration otherwise needlesse to remooue out of our incredulous hearts all distrust and colour of dubitation 15 Open thou my lips O Lord and c. BVt I haue beene too forward now I thinke of it to engage my selfe so deepely to sing ioyfully and sound loudly thy righteousnesse I confesse I haue promised more