the Father of light from whom all goodnesse proceeded I like the lost sheepe wandered far astray from the fold who lewdly consumed that grace which thou so liberally hadst imparted to me I left thee the FouÌ„taine of liuing water and digged me Cesteâ—…ns and drunke of troubled water full of bitter consolations such as in short time are dried vp For all consolations and al the pleasures of this world vanish away like smoke I left the tree of life and fed on mast cods which were spurned and trodden downe by the hogs following the passions and inordinate affections of my minde my beastly appetites I departed from thee the chiefest good and followed those earthly and transitorie pleasures which ouerthrew mee But now O father I beseech thee forget thou these iniuries which I haue committed against thy maiestie which I craue not for in respect of the multitude of my merits but by beholding the labours and dolours of thy onely begotten Son which he suffred for my sake And thou the onely begotten Sâ—…nne of the eternall Father my Lord God and Sauior haue mercy vpon me I cast all mine iniquities all my iniurie ignomâ—…e ire pride auarice disobedience impudencie presumption with all my other sins wherby I haue prouoked thy wrath into thy lenitie clemency sacred wounds wide open to yeeld mee refuge I giue my selfe wholy vnto thee and commend my selfe wholy to thy grace for thou art my hope my helpe and my strength As much as my sins trouble and confound me so much doth thy goodnesse and the infinite merits of thy passion reiâ—…yce and comfort me My sins although in themselues they be grieuous in weight and infinite in number yet in comparison of thy mercies they are light and few Under this confideÌ„ce I come vnto thee and confesse my sinnes vnto thee hoping that thou wilt not destroy him whom thou hast created according to thine owne image similitude and for whose loue thou madest thy selfe partaker of our nature bloud and flesh I trust I shall not bee condemned by thee whom thou hast redeemed as it were with so incomparable a price with so many labours and dolors To thee be all honour and dominion for euer euer Amen Another most deuout praier for remission of sinnes O My best beloued Iesus I aâ—… that wretched vnhappy sin ner that hath inflicted thee so many wounâ—…s and crucified thee aâ—…ew by my sinnes ahlas too many and too mighty Behold yet how I pre sent my selfe before thee my father and iudge being guilty of so mâ—… crimes accountable for so maâ—… sinnes beseeching thee through the bowels of thy mercy that all thy wounds may once more bee opened in the sight of the Father may flow into my miserable vncleane soule soiled and infected with so many sinnes not suffering them to be closed before they haue throughly washed and perfectly cleansed me O sweet Iesus turne not thy face from me but ouerflow me with thine infinite mercy and behold me with the eies of thy pitie wherewith thou beheldst Mary Magdalen at the feast time Peter in the Bishops palace the theefe on the Crosse. Giue mee the true knowledge of my sinnes giue me the iust griefe receiue me into the paradise of thy grace wash mee in thy reaking blood and quicken me by thy precious death pardon me and take from me whatsoeuer my heart wrongfully possesseth beecause thou thy selfe hast said if I bee exalted from the earth I will draw all things to me For which cause I pray thee O thou redeemer of my soule draw mee vnto thee and cleanse me from my hidden sins O true light illumine the darknes of my minde O consuming fire burne in me all my sinnes and iniquities Come and viâ—…t my sick soule cleanse my conscience and make me thy gratefull Tabernacle O deerest beeloued Lord spred for my sake on the tree of the Crosse draw mee out of the suds of my sinnes embrace mee kisse mee being clensed from all sâ—…aine of my wickednesse O noble cluster of grapes pressed in the wine-presse of the Crosse hug my soule with thy naked but faire armes distained with bloud Grant also that thou maist bee embracâ—… in like sort by the same and 〈◊〉 a handfull of Mirrhe thou maâ—… rest betweene her teates O thâ—… nailed and pierced souldier hoâ—… cruelly wert thou wounded in tâ—… warre vndertaken in my behalfe How strongly didst thou fight fo me thou triumpher ouer the worâ—… and the diuell who by thy death diddest conquer death and by tâ—… precious blood didst expiate fâ—… all the sinnes of mankinde Oâ—… what shall I giue thee for all thâ—… which thou hast bestowed vpâ—… mee All that little that I haue I offer it wholly vnto thee nameâ—… my spirit that thou maist rest 〈◊〉 the same my soule that it mâ—…â—…oue thee my body that it mâ—… serue thee O noble Pellican that nouâ—… shest thy yong ones with thy heaâ—… blood so feed my soule faintâ—… for hunger and spirituall thirst nothing else may be sauourie vnâ—… the same neither that she may dâ—… sire to take any thing but to eaâ—… thy flesh and drinke thy blood O mellifluous riuer of celesâ—… delights ouerflow all my inward parts make me drinke and grant that I may bee dead to all other creatures and aliue to thee onely O glorious myrrour of the incomprehensible Trinitie on which all the Angels and Saints desire to contemplate alas how cruelly wert thou intreated for my sake There is neither forme nor beauty in thee thou becamest a by-word of men and the scorne of the multitude O make mee partaker of that incomparable treasure of thy precious ransome wherewith thou redeemedst mee open the treasurie of thy merits and pay all my debt make mee such a one in this world as thou woulddest haue me in the world to come where thou reignest with the Father and the holy Spirit God world without end Amen A most godly praier and oblation wherein man offereth himselfe vp vnto God requiring that the tyranny of his vices expelled God hereafter may reigne in his soule and dwell therein and so worke in it those fruits which pertaine to newnesse of life O My God O my loue O my hope O all my refuge and all my desire O Father of mercy and God of al consolation as oft as I coÌ„sider with my selfe in what state I was somtime in how many dangers of perdition I haue escaped from how many euils thou hast deliuered me wheÌ„ I was dead in my sinnes and lay buried and couered with the stone of my inueterate custome of offending such a hope is quickened in me that I cannot choose but aske at thine hands O Lord all such things as are necessary for my saluation For I am thy workmanship thy hands haue fashioned me O Lord despise not therefore the worke of thy haÌ„ds For why should I doubt that thou wilt giue mee all thy goods that hast
thee so could not any thing be created by any other but by thee to the end that all things might serue thee praise thee and publish thy glory Thou art the vniuersall dispenser of good things so that there is no benefit to be found either of nature or grace body or soule which taketh not his originall from thee who art the fountaine of all goodnes Thou art the maine of all perfection the Abysse of all greatnesse the Dâ—…ean of infinite mercy and goodnes the image of incomparable beauty Thou art the God of Gods the holy of holiest the King of Kinges the Lord of Lords the cause of causes the being of beings the life of the liuing the order of the Uniuers the beauty of the world the glory of the heauens Thou art my Creator that madest me of nothing to thine owne Image and similitude Thou art my conseruer who by thy prouideÌ„ce maintainest me lest I should become nothing Thou art my sanctifier who by thy grace extollest me vnto things which are diuine Thou art my glorifier who hast made me to enioy the glorie euerlasting Thou art my defender helper pastor benefactor Thou art my King my Lord my father my spouse Thou art the center of my soule my last end in whom alone consisteth all my felicity happinesse and the last perfection of my life what neede many words Thou art to me all in all in as much as thou art God But in as much as thou art man thou art my redeemer my sauiour and deliuerer Thou art as the Apostle testifieth my wisedome my iustice my sanctification my redemption my sacrifice my Lambe my priest my aduocate my intercessor my doctor my example my fortitude my consolation Thou art the generall phisition of all my wounds infirmities Thou hast healed my pride by thy humility my auarice by thy pouerty my pleasures by thy dolors my wrath by thy meeknes my enuy by thy charity my excesse by the gall and vinegar which thou tastedst for my sake my sloath by thy diligence and vnmeasurable labors vndertaken for my sake For my sake thou didst fast wander hither and thither sweate watch pray weepe for mee thou wert banished persecuted deâ—…ded mockt spit vpon whipt crowned with thornes crucified and more afflicted than all other men of this world and at length put to death 2. A thanksgiuing ALL these are thy benefits O Lord for which I ought to yeeld thee thanks nay rather they are most iust causes for which I am indebted vnto thee bonds by which thou holdest me captiue bound vnto thee What shall I giue vnto our Lord for all the benefits hee hath bestowed on mee by what duty or what humble seruice shall I recompence so manie graces bestowed vpon me Uerily I beleeue that although I onely had all mens hearts and with all them did only loue thee yet might I not in the least sort yeeld thee that which belongeth vnto thee How then for many so great benefits shall I yeeld thee satisfaction How can I deny thee that one heart which I haue for all wheÌ„ I owe thee so much for all thy benefits towards me What shal I say my God what shall I doe for I alone am not sufficieÌ„t to yeeld thee condigne thanks for such a multitude of blessings But I know what I shall doe I will call vpon all creatures that are in heauen on earth and I will desire them to assist me and vouch safe with me to sing thy praises and glorifie with mee the Lord of all glorie Let vs therefore sing the song which the three children sang in the burning Furnace in Babilon saying O blesse ye all the workes of the Lord God praise ye and magnifie him for euer O yee angels of the Lord blesse yee the Lord praise him and magnifie him for euer O yee heauens blesse the Lord praise yee and magnifie him for euer O yee waters that are aboue the firmament blesse yee our Lord praise him and magnifie him for euer c. 3. The oblation of a mans selfe ALL these praises and blessings doe I owe thee O father yea and far more greater belong vnto thee For if I shal more neerely examine the matter I not only owe thee mine but my selfe also For if in India a man buy another man for a red cap and hee that is bought at so slight a rate is in such sort wholly obliged subiect to the buier as that he is neither master of a moment of time or of a farthing but is very often cast into fetters by his Lord beaten with clubs and handled according to the humour of him that bought him what shall become of me O Lord I am thine yea truly wholy thine not tied vnto thee vnder one name and title but by infinite respects Thou hast created me thou hast bought me not with a red cap but with thy precious blood thou hast conserued me in all and euery momeÌ„t of my life For without thee I can nether stir haÌ„d or foot without thy prouidence I can neither breath nor respire or act any thing with what colour theÌ„ can I cast off thy dominion ouer me How an I deny thee that which is thine By what right can I challenge liberty to my selfe Or with what impudence shaking off the yoake of my Lord can I wish to liue according to my wicked desires when by so many reasons I am thine ought so wholy to be dedicated vnto thee Most humbly therfore acknowledging thy dominion ouer me behold I dedicate my self wholy vnto thee and intirely submit my selfe to thy perpetuall seruice subiection Neither doe I onely offer my selfe vnto thee but also all that which is mine what soeuer this day or in the rest of my life I shall thinke speake or do with all those things which at any time for thy sake shal be offered me to admit or further 〈◊〉 so that henceforward I wil neither eat nor drink nor sleep nor do any such like thing whose end shall not bee the honour glory of thy most holy name Once more I say O Lord I sacrifice my selfe vnto thee lest hereafter I be mine owne not thine I will liue no more according to mine owne will I will not labour for my selfe I wil not seek my selfe but in all things euery way will I seeke thee obey thy will and be diligent in thy seruice and if at any time I shall doe the contrary I will call my selfe a theefe and rauisher of an other mans right for that dutie and obedience which vnder so many titles and by so much right appertaineth vnto thee deniing and stealing the same from thee I shall vsurpe vnto my selfe 4. A petition for new benefits BUt because without thy grace I cannot yeeld thee that duty I pray thee O Lord that thou wilt assist me herein and create in me a new heart that shal not iudge himselfe to be his own no not for 〈◊〉
wee are freed from earthly cares and desires wee esteeme thee for our chiefest good with thee wee dwell with thee we liue All these benefits die vnto vs if thou O eternall light bee hidden from vs. Abide therefore with vs O Lord and remoue from vs the weight of our sinnes to the end that perpetuall day may shine in our hearts stay with vs O Lord. Amen An Euening confession I Confesse my sinnes vnto thee eternall Bishop minister of the Saints and the Priest of the true tabernaâ—…le who ence in the yeare of this world hast entred into the sacred Secret and giuen the holy and immaculate Lambe of thy body for a sacrifice for our sinnes To thee I confesse that I am inindebted not onely in ten thousand talents of my sins but that I am bound to yeeld thee account of my whole life Because I know that there is not one Commandement of thine in my whole life that I haue perfectly obserued wherein either in word sight hearing taste worke thought perswasion or consent I haue not offended But now O Lord I come before thy face in confession and in the presence of all thine Angels and holy Saints I 〈◊〉 vnto thee all my sins wherwith this day I haue offended thee Here if there bee any more grieuous sins let them be repeated Neither these alone do I confesse but also all other my misdeeds whatsoeuer I haue coÌ„mitted from my infancy hitherto euen vnto this present houre either wittingly or ignorantly in deeds in words in thoughts and in omissions discouering also in particular the euilltree of my heart with all his roots twigs leaues fruits with al his deformities swellings rottennes all which are very well knowne vnto thee for thou beholdest not onely the interior desires doubts denials of thy prouidence but also these grosse externall offences which we wretchedly commit in our words and deeds Wherefore O most mercifull Father according to the measure of my weakenesse I beseech thee although I am altogether vnapt to pray forgiue my offences pardon my sinnes and forget all the multitude of my misdeeds as well those that I haue committed this day as also those which thou knowest me guilty of from my infancie hitherto Circumcise likewise for thy goodnesse sake my very stony heart for this old one create in mee a new and endue it with a new spirit water it with the iuice of celestiall grace and the spirituall fountaine of waters whereby the internal venome and corrupt iuice of the flesh may bee dried vp the custome of the old man may bee changed and my heart may not heereafter bring foorth brambles and thornes as fewell to the fire but spirituall fruits in iustice and holinesse Amen A thanksgiuing in the euening BEhold O Lord so many and so mighty are my sins whereby I haue this day offended thy diuine Maiesty and that time thou gauest me to shew the fruits of repentance in I haue consumed so vnprofitably forgetting that this day might haue bene the very last day of my life heaping new sinnes vpon old and walking in thy sight who continually seest all things without any feare no otherwise than if it were in the presence of some idoll for which cause I deserued that the earth should gape and hell should swallow me vp but for that this most fatal punishment doth not affect me both with lips and heart all the members about me and the power that is in me I giue thanks to thine infinit mercy For thou O Lord hast kept me this day by thy ciemency from all misfortune of body and soule for there is no euill in the world either corporall or spirituall that this day might not haue happened vnto mee For that which might befall another man why might it not light vpon mee For if hee bee the sonne of Adam why so am I If hee bee subiect to actuall sinne so am I If his body bee formed of humours and contrarie elements so is mine If therefore hee bee this day made blinde why might not I also haue bene blinded If another man this day become lame bee consumed fall sicke of the pâ—…sicke bee distraught get the â—…ixe labour of the spleene tremble with the palsâ—…e why am not I partner of the same miserie If this man hath perished by water that by fire hee bee extinguished by suddaine and vnexpected death why am not I also who am in the same state of damnation with him Why O Lord why I say but for that thy grace O most pitiful Lord hath conserued me and thy mercy protected me that therefore I am in safetie that I am whole and strong in body I onely ascribe it to thee to thee giue I most intire thaÌ„ks The like or rather more greater thanks offer I vp vnto thee O Father the thou hast no lesse protected my soule from sins then my body from sicknesses and misfortunes of this day that being blinde thou hast lightened her guided her in this way of thy commandements that falling thou hast raised her that standing thou hast sustained her from falling For that thy mercie hath preue nied me deliuering mee from all euils sauing me froÌ„ those that are past raising me from the present and defending me from the future taking away also the nets of my sinnes from before mee and cutting off their occasions and causes For except thou hadst done this and that for me I had done al the sinnes of the world because I know O Lord that there is no sin that euer man did that another man might not haue done if the Creator be wanting by whom man is made But that I did not offeÌ„d 〈◊〉 was thy fauour that I abstained it was thy command and that I beleeued thee it was thy grace inspired into me For thou O Lord didst rule me to thy selfe kepst me for thee and my selfe and that I should not commit adulterie or any other sinne thou gauest mee that grace light through Iesus Christ thy son To thee bee praise to thee grace to thee glorie for euer and euer Amen A praier wherin thou commendest thy selfe to God vpon the entrance of thy bed O Lord Iesus Christ my God Redeemer in asmuch as thou hast made ordained the pleasing time of night for the rest and refection of the weake bodies of miserable mortall men I beseech thee that this night thou wilt keepe my soule ouer-burdened with sinne defensed with true peace in thee O God who art the true and eternall rest preserue it from all the assaults of the diuel from all his dangerous incursions defend my senses and cogitations and ordaine and direct all that which I doe and wherein I end according to thy will lest ingaged in the depraued darkenesse of this world being ouercome by the Prince of the same the diuell I bee brought into temptation and pernicious snares but perfect in mee true tranquillitie and constant puritie in my conscience Giue vnto my
body also O most sweete Iesus contaminate with many crimeâ—… this night and al other times sucâ—… rest that I may neuer depart from thee who art eternal tranquillitie neither at any time forsake theâ—… or through the dulnesse and sluggishnesse of my slothfull flesh beâ—… forgetfull of thee and thereby beâ—… thrust into the perpetuall agitatâ—… on and damnation of incessaâ—… trouble For which cause O eternal an most mercifull Lord I comment my spirit into thy hands for thoâ—… our most mercifull Sauiour haâ—… redeemed vs on the wood of thâ—… crosse suffer not my spirit O Lord to sleepe in sinne and saint therein lest I bee buried in eternall death â—…ut watch ouer mee and intend â—…y safety O most faithfull shepheard suffer mee not being destiâ—…ute of thy helpe to be swallowed 〈◊〉 the gulfe of my sinnes Protect me vnder the shadow of â—…hy wings and suffer me not to be â—…ntangled with extraordinary and â—…nnecessary sleepe but raise mee â—…n due time that wakened in that sort I may cheerefully endeuour my selfe to sing thy praises and intend thy seruice that I may thinke of thee and being raised by â—…hy power I may performe the â—…orks of iustice and seeke thy heaâ—…enly kingdome with my whole â—…eart that at length by thee with â—…hee in thee I may obtaine eterâ—…all light and celestial rest Amen Another praier before sleepe GRant vnto mee O my God the watching I may vigilantlie â—…and in thy presence as often as 〈◊〉 shall fortune me to sleepe let my sleepe bee without sinne and if in my waking I should commit any misdeed grant me O Lord pardoÌ„ for thy mercy sake and if sinne in my sleepe let thy clemency pardon mee and by the memory of thy martyrdome giue mee a quiet time of sleepe and deliuer mee from euill dreames and filthy imaginations and for the whole night bouchsafe me a sleepe full of tranquillitie lest wickednesse haue the power ouer mee and euill cogitations ful of peruersnesse seduce mee Giue me thine Angel of light that may keepe all the members of my body and deliuer mee from cursed concupiscence by that liuing body that was cruâ—…ified for mee Let me lay me downe to rest and sleepe in peace and let thy blood bee the keeper of mee and my soule which is thine image Giue libertie to thy handiworke and let thy right hand defend the bodie which thou hast fashioned with thine owne hands and enuiron mee with the wall of thy mercies as it were an acceptable fortresse and bulwarke that when the body shall rest and sleepe it may bee defended by thy vertue and let my sleepe bee as a sweete sinelling incense before thy maiesty neither let the enemy approch my bed for thy mercie sake I will heare and execute thy will O my God who lodest the night with the tranquillitie of the iustice of our redeemer Iesus Christ. For thou art the true light and thy glorie dwelleth in the light and the children of light adore thee dwelling in the light Iesus the Word of the Father vnto life haue mertie on mee for thy mercie sake to whom with the Father that sent thee and the holy Ghost bee all praise for euer Amen Iaculatorie prayers to bee had alwaies in memorie When any sudden feare assaileth thee BE vnto mee O Lord a tower of strength against the face of mine enemy If the corrupt flesh prouoke thee PIerce my flesh with thy feare for I haue trembled at thy iudgments If an ill suspicion ouertake thee CReate in mee O Lord a new heart and giue me a new spirit If vndecent sadnesse ouer-hale thee GIue me the ioy of thy saluation and confirme mee with a principall spirit If vaine glory seduce thee NOt vnto vs O Lord not vnto vs but to thy â—…ame giue the glorie If desperation molest thee GOd is my hope froÌ„ my youth from the wombe of my mother thou art my protector If thou be afflicted in minde HElpe me and I shall be safe I will meditate alwaies vpon thy iustifications If sloth assaile thee EXcite thy power O Lord and come conuÌ„rme mee in thy words lest I faile in the way If labour tire thee BEhold my humility and my labour forgiue mee all my sins If wrath disturbe thee GIue mee patience O Lord peace to thy seruant lest I lose the crowne of my soule in heauen For thou hast said In your patience you shall possesse your soules If desire of honour and promotion tempt thee INcline my hart O Lord to thy testimonies and not vnto couetousnesse turne away mine eies lest I see vanitie and quicken mee in thy way If gluttony sollicite thee THe kingdome of heauen is not meate drinke but peace and ioy in the holy Ghost It is the Spirit that quickneth the fiesh profiteth nothing Is euill 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 thee VVHose tinage and superscription is this And hearing that it is Ceâ—…ars that is the diuel of this world say let thy money bee with thee to thy perdition now the doore is shutte and our Lord careth his passe-ouer here I haue no leasure to open vnto thee If any blessing of God happen to thee VVHat shal I yeeld vnto our Lord for all the benefits he hath bestowed vpon mee How much â—…west thou mâ—… soule And turâ—…g to the angels lay Come and heare and I wil show you all yâ—…e that â—…are God what hee hath 〈◊〉 to my soule And turning thine eies vnto God himselfe it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 shalt thou say O Lord thy mercy is great toward me Iâ—… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 persecution IUdge them O Lord that hurt mee ouerthrow them that fight against mee Take the sword and shield and arise to do me helpe When thou seest thou art 〈◊〉 by God VVHerefore O Lord art 〈◊〉 departed farre from mee Doest thou turne thine eies aside in opportunities in tribulation Stay with vs O Lord for it waxeth night Against detractors SAue mee O God for the righteous faile and truth faileth amongst the children of men Let the Lord confound all deceitfuil lips and the tongue that speaketh great things For our enemies O Lord lay not this sin to their charge because they know not what thy do When we addressâ—… our selues to studie BLessed art thou O Lord teach me to doe thy will open mine eies that I may consider the wonderfull works of thy Law A man may sometimes lift vp his heart by affection of repentance in these words TUrne thy face from my sinnes O Lord and blot out all my offences Create in mee O Lord a new heart Sometimes with an affection of gratitude BLesse the Lord O my soule and forget not his benefits Sometime with an affection of loue I Will loue thee O Lord my strength God is my foundation my refuge and my deliuerer God is my helper and I will hope in him Euen as the Hart desireth the
fountaines so longeth my soule after thee O God My soule hath thirsted after the liuing fountaine God When shall I come and appeare before the face of my God My teares were bread vnto mee day and night whilest they dayly said vnto me Where is thy God Then inflamed with the loue of eternall beatitude let him say OHow amiable are thy dwelling places thou Lord of hosts my soule thirsteth and longeth after the dwelling place of my God This that felloweth was familiar to the Fathers in Aegypt VVHo shall giue me wings like a Doue and I will fly and take rest Three most deuout praiers to excite the soule to contrition and griefe sor sinne The first Praier OOnly begotten Son of God great and vnspeakable are y◠benefits O Lord which I haue receiued at thy hands thou framedst mee of the dust and dirt of the earth and createdst my soule of nothing to thy image similitude and madest it capable of thy glory thou gauest mee vnderstanding memo will election with all my members and senses and with them the knowledge and loue of thee Thou keptst mee in the secret celles of my mothers womb lest in them I should bee choaked without baptisme Thou sustainedst mee patiently after so many sins euen vnto this present day where in the meane space there are many others who haue lesse offended than 〈◊〉 yet because thou wouldst not hitherto expect them they are now perhaps tormented in hell But besides all this it was thy pleasure to take flesh vpon thee to conuerse amongst men for my sake to bee afflicted troubled for me to be bedewed with bloudy sweate to bee taken bound buffeted spit vpon mockt blasphemed to be clothed in a white and purple garmēt like a foole to be strooken with a reede to be blinded condemned to death led to the place of executiō hauing on thy shoulders the croūe to which thou wert affixed with nailes and hanged betwixt two theeues and adiudged for a malefactor thou didst drinke gall and vineger finally thou wert slaine with most cruel death By so many labours and dolors O my God thou didst redeeme mee and yet I most vile and peruerse sinner ingrateful for so many benefits haue so oftentimes newly strooken thee againe nailed thee to the crosse by my sins for which cause I am worthy that all creatures should rise vp against me take reuenge of this my so great iniurie What should I say of y◠abuse of thy sacraments medicines which by thy precious bloud thou institutedst obtainedst for me Thou tookest mee for thine in the sacrament of baptisme there thou adoptedst me for thy sonne and consecratedst mee as it were thy temple there didst thou annoint me for thy Priest King and Champion who was to wage combat with the enemy there diddest thou espouse my soule and gauest me al the honors which were answerable to this dig nity But how haue I vsed al these benefits and ornaments which I haue receiued from thee what cogitatiōs had I of keeping these riches Thou tookest me for thy son and I may become the seruant of sinne Thou sanctifiedst me for thy temple and I made my selfe the habitation of diuels Thou armedst me like a generous souldier and I reuolted and fled vnto thine enemies Thou madest me a king and I waxed proud in the kingdome which thou gauest me Thou espousedst my soule to thee in perpetuall charitie and I more loued vanity than verity more the creatures than my Creator Truly it were rightfull yea most iust O Lord that yet now at length I should begin to weepe complaine and lament when I haue committed so many and so enormous sinnes This is it that so long time thou expectedst from mee as thou hast giuen me life For so oftentimes hast thou called mee and so long hast thou sustained mee strooke mee and againe flattered mee and hast sought all waies and meanes that thou mightest reclaime mee vnto thee thou hast expected mee and I haue abused thy patience thou hast called mee and I haue stopt mine eares against thy counsels Thou gauest mee time for repentance and I consumed y◠same in my pride thou strookest me and I felt it not thou afflictedst mee I would not take thy correction thou sweatedst that thou mightest clense mee and I am not washed thou prouedst mee by fire and the rust of my sins is not clensed away I am hardned as well by thy scourges as thy allurements ingratful to these rebellious against those Notwithstanding O Lord God though thou hast suffered so many and so great things for mee thou hast commanded me that I should not despaire nor distrust in thy mercie I conuert my selfe therefore wholy vnto thy mercy and beseech thee to giue mee grace that I may amend my selfe whereby I may so heereafter please thee and serue thee that I neuer hereafter reuolt from thee but cleaue alwaies to thee for euer and euer Amen For contrition The second praier O Supreme Maker of al liuing creatures when I bethink my selfe how greatly I haue offended thy diuine maiesty by my sinnes I quake for feare and detest my vndecent madnes considering how bountifull and reuerend a Father I haue forsooke I curse my ingratitude when I consider from how noble a liberty I am fallen into most miserable seruitude I accuse my inconstancy know not what to set before mine eies but iudgement and hell for thy iustice from which I cannot flie terrifieth my conscience On y◠other side when I behold thy vnmeasurable mercy which according to the testimonie of thy Prophet surpasseth al thy works presently a pleasing breath of hope doth refresh mee and strengthneth my too feeble mind For as before I despaired so here do I finde remission of my sinnes in him who by the writing of his Prophets so oftentimes inuiteth sinners to repentance saying I wil not y◠death of a sinner but rather that he conuert and liue Thy onely begotten Son likewise declareth by many similitudes how ready thou art to pardon those that are penitent That expressed he by the lost penny by the lost sheep brought home on the shoulders of his pastor but especially by the prodigall sonne whose image I acknowledg in my selfe For I am he that haue indeed forsaken my most louing Father I haue spent all my substance and obeying the appetites of my flesh haue fled the obedience of thy commandements and haue fallen into the most filthy captiuity of sin now am I trauelled with extreme necessity from which who shall deliuer me I truly know not except it be he whom I haue forsaken Receiue me therefore O Lord thy most hūble seruant submissiuely seeking pardō at thy hands into thy fauor But wheras though in vaine thou hast euen vnto this houre so bountifully expected mee I confesse that I am not worthy to lift vp mine eies to heauen or to call thee Father yet because thou art my true
most profitable before the Communion whereby the soule is excited to the feare and loue of God VVHo art thou my Lord and who am I that I dare ap proch thee What is man that hee can receiue God vnto him his maker Redeemer What is man in his nature but the vessell of corruption and rottennes the sonne of the diuell the heire of hell the worker of iniquitie the contemner of God and a Creature vnfit for all goodnesse and apt and prompt to all wickednesse What is man but a creature miserable in all things in his counsel blinde in his actions incoÌ„stant in his appetites vncleane in his desires vnconstant in euery worke of his litle in his owne eies great see Lord see what I am But thou my God who what a one art thou Thou art great with out quantitie good without quality wise without measure and eternall without time Thou art omnipotent in vertue infinite in wisedome admirable in counsels terrible in iudgements perfect and absolute in all vertue How therefore dare so vile and vncleane a creature as I am approach and touch a GOD of so great maiestie Behold the moone also shineth not and the stars are vncleane in thy sight The pillars of heauen tremble and quake at thy becke Those celestial Seraphins cloâ—…ke their wings and in thy presence confesse themselues to bee butterflies most abiect wormes What boldnesse therefore what rashnesse is it for a most vile man the abiectest creature vpon earth to dare so much as but to looke vpon such a Lord Holy Saint Iohn Baptist sanctified in his mothers womb durst not when he baptized our Lord touch the crowne of his head yea he profest himselfe to be vnworthy to vnloose the latchet of his shooe The Prince of the Apostles exclaimed saying Depart from me O Lord for I am a sinfull man shall I that am the notorious sinner of all men not feare to approach thee If it were vnlawfull for any man to eat the Bread of proposition which were onely but a shaddow of this profouÌ„d mystery except him that was clean and sanctified how can I bee secure who eate the bread of Angels where notwithstanding I am so farre off from all sanctite That pascall Lamb which was a type figure of this sacrament according to the commandement of God was to bee eaten with vnleauened bread and wild Lettuice and they that did eate the same ought to haue their loines girt their shooes vpon their feete Ah how shall I dare to come to this true Pascal Lambe who haue none of these preparations For what thing else is the vnleauened bread than Purity without the leuen of malice And what the bitter Lettuice but vehement contrition Where is the puritie of my reynes where of my feete that is the cleannesse of my holy desires I feare O Lord and vehemeÌ„tly suspect lest I should bee excluded from this table if any of those preparations should bee wanting in me From this table was he reiected or rather repulsed who came without his wedding garment that is without charity and being bound hand foote hee was cast into exterior darknesse what other thing expect I now if I shall intrude my selfe to this banquet without this vesture O diuine eies to whom all the cranies corners of my soule are open and manifest what shall become of mee if I present my selfe naked boide before thy presence To touch the Arke which was only but a figure of this sacrameÌ„t it was so great an offence that Oza the priest stretching out his hand to vphold the same being ready to fall supporting it was strooken with suddain death how can I theÌ„ choose but feare and suspect the like penalty if vnworthily I shall receiue that of which the Arke was onely but a figure The Bethsamâ—…tes offended in no other thing than for that they had too curiously beheld the Arke of the couenaÌ„t when as it was caried through the confines of the countrey yet God was so displeased that for that only cause of the people he slue seuenty men and of the common sort fiftie thousand But O most merciful Lord how much more worthy is this sacrament thaÌ„ the Arke of the Couenant and how much more dangerous is it to receiue thee than to see thee Not without reason therefore ought I to bee afraid and tremble as often as I come to receiue a Lord of so great maiesty iustice And if there be so many causes why I ought to feare thy greatnes how many reasons should there bee of feare if I weigh the muâ—…itude of my sinnes For I call to remembrance O Lord many grieuous sins of mine whereby I haue in this world offended thy diuine maiesty The time was somtime ther was a time thankes bee giuen to God that the time is not now wheÌ„ I loued not that thine infinite beuty but buried it in deepest obliuion when the dust of thy creatures was more estimate with mee than the treasures of thy graces and yâ— hope of thy eternall glorie The Lawes and rules of my life were my desires inordinate appetites I had no care of thee I shewed thee no reuerence because I knew thee not I am that foole that said in my heart there is no God for so dissolutely for a time did I liue that in my matters I did professe that I beleeued thee either to be nothing or to be of power to do nothing I did not labor to insinuate my selfe into thy-loue I feared not thy iustice I set light by the breach of thy lawes I yeelded not that thankes which I ought although I knew thou wert present in all places yet was I not ashamed securely in thy sight to commit sin yea and that very grieuously Whatsoeuer mine eies desired that made I lawful vnto them neither did I restraine my heart 〈◊〉 crossing the incontinent delights thereof and what kinde of wickednesse is there wherewith my soule is not distained what else was my whole life but a continuall war against thee what else but a receiuing of torments and passions of my whole life How often haue I for a momeÌ„tany pleasure or a trifling gain like a second Iudaâ—… soâ—… thee And now comming to receiue thee what els doe I but prepare thee a kisse with Iudas by which I may betray thee whom I haue already sold What else haue I done when other waies I comâ—…icated but that with the souldiers I haue mocked thee insulted ouer thee here bowing my knee and adoring thee there beating thy blessed head with a reede How shall I therefore dare to receiue thee O my Lord in an estate so vncleane and wicked How can I be so rash to inclose thy most sacred body in the den of dragons the nest of vipers What other thing else is the soule of a sinner than a dwelling place of diuels a â—…est of beasts a hog-stie and a
sink of all iniquitie How canst thou rest heere O Lord who art purity of the purest and thou that art the fountaine of all beauty how canst thou dwell in a place so abhominable What participatioÌ„ is there betweene iustice and iniquitie or what societie betweene light and darknesse or what conuention betweene Christ Beliall O flower of the field O Lillie of the vallâ—…s O bread of Angels how art thou now become the fodder of beasts Why giuest yâ— this diuine meate vnto dogs and castest these precious pearles before swine O louer of pure and cleane soules who feedest among the lillies till the day spring the shadowes depart what foode may I giue thee in this my heart where nothing groweth but thornes and briers Thy bed is of the wood of Libâ—… the pillers thereof are guilded thâ—… pillow is of gold and thy footâ—…pace of purple in the bed of my heart there are none of these to bee found what seate therefore shall I prepare for thee there when thâ—… enterest what bed shall I maâ—… Thy most holy body taken frâ—… the crosse was wrapped in a cleane and faire sheete put into a new Sepulchre in which no man had bene before times buried but what part of my soule is cleane what noâ—…e is there that is new wheâ—… I may bury thee what is my mouth others than an open Sepulchre from whence there â—…ueth nothing but the stinkes and impurities of my sinnes What is my hart but 〈◊〉 fountaine of most euill appetites and desires What is my will but a house and resting place of the Diuell How therfore shal I dare to approch thee receiue thee or kisse thee with my impure lips There is not one corner in my soule which is cleane and pure which hath not too often times bene prophaned by diuers kinds of sinnes I haue not a cleane and new Sepulcher in which I may hide thee O thou my redeemer and Sauiour I am ashamed as often as I see my selfe in this estate I blush wheÌ„ I consider in what sort I come to this thy worthy and royall banquet in what maner I intrude my selfe to embrace my celestial spouse who againe standeth ready to receiue me fauourably Another part of this Meditation I Acknowledge O Lord I acknowledge my great vnworthinesse and yet thy most great mercie is not hidden from me this it is that maketh me bold and confident to come vnto thee howsoeuer I am For the more vnworthy I come vnto thee by so much the more art thou glorified if thou repulse mee or persecute a creature so vncleane with thy displeasure O Lord thou art not wont to shake off sinners but to call them and conuert them vnto thee Thou art he that saiest Come vnto me all ye that labour are laden and I wil refresh you And in another place The whole haue no need of a Physition but such as are sick Of thee is it publikly said that thou entertainedst Publicans and sinners didst eate with them O my God thou hast not changed thy nature which then thou hadst for which cause I firmely beleeue that thou as yet dost call them from heauen whom then thou didst call vpon the earth For which cause I likewise allured by that thy fatherly summons come vnto thee groaning vnder the burden of my sinnes and thou shalt vnloade me I come laboring and ouer-charged and thou shalt refresh me I come like a patient to my Physition and thou shalt heale mee like a sinner to the fountaine of iustice and thou shalt iustifie mee Thou receiuedst sinners and eatest with them and thy meate is to conuerse with them and thy delight is to be with men If thou take so much delight O Lord in such banquets behold thou hast heere a grieuous sinner with whom thou maiest eate thy bread I verily beleeue O my Redeemer that thou tookest more delight in the teares of that publike penitent thaÌ„ in the sumptuous feast of that proud Pharisee for which cause thou neither despisedst her neither reiectedst her from thee as an adultresse but rather most bountifully receiuedst her forgauest her sinnes defendedst her against the reproches of her calumners for a few drops of teares pardonedst her many sinnes Behold O Lord here is a new matter of greater glory offred vnto thee a new occasion behold heere lieth a sinner who hath far more sinnes and yet fewer teares shee neither was the first nor the last whom thy mercie suffered many such like things hast thou done O Lord and many the like as yet remaine for thee to do Enter now O Lord the number of them that beginne thy worke receiue him into fauor who hath more grieuously offended thee and that lamenteth his offences This peniteÌ„t hath not so many teares as may wash thy feet but thou hast shed so much blood as sufficeth not onely to cleanse mine but also the sins of the whole world Bee not displeased O my God that being such a one as thou seest I am I dare preasâ—…e into thy presence Remember that thou wert not displeased with yâ— poore womaÌ„ which trauelled with a flux of blood and secretly came vnto thee seeking remedie of her infirmitie and taking thee by the hemme of thy Uesture but rather didst praise her and comfort her saying Daughter bee comforted thy faith hath made thee whole Behold I yâ— haue a greater more perilous flux of blood and am lesse curable what shall I doe whither shall I turne me to whom shall I goe but vnto thee O LORD that I may obtaine the benefite of health My Lord thou hast neither changed thine office neither that custome and nature which thou wert wont to haue when thou werst coÌ„uersant with vs vpon the earth although now thou art ascended into heauen and seemest to bee farre distant from vs. For if thou hadst bene changed wee had neede of another Scripture and Gospell that might teach vs now what wee should beleeue of thee and what to hope from thee being now resâ—…ant in heauen I reade in the holy Gospels that such as were sick flocked vnto thee that the whole multitude sought to touch thee because a vertue came froÌ„ thee that healed all men Leapers came vnto thee and thou stretchedst thy blessed hands and clensedst them The blinde came vnto thee the deafe the sicke of the palsey they that were possessed by diuels Finally all the monsters of this world ranne vnto thee and to none of these didst thou denie thy helpe In thee onelie is saluation in thee is the medicine and remedy of all euils Thou art more readie to giue saluation than they to aske it Whither therefore shall we goe O Lord in our necessities but vnto thee for I know my God that this Sacrament is not onely their food that are whole but their medicine also that are sicke weake not only the strength of the liuing but the resurrection of the dead it not
in thee Helpe mee O Lord my Sauiour draw me on high after thee for the weight of mortalitie doth alwaies depresse me Thou o Lord that ascendedst the tree of the Crosse that thou mightst draw all things vnto thee thou that through so unmeasurable charity didst couple two-natures so different together and madest one person of them that we might be made one with thee Grant mee this one thing o Lord and it suff◅eth mee For the riches of this world satiate me not I onely will thee I seeke thee I desire to see thy face I will aspire alwaies to thy loue and with the Prophet I will sing I will loue thee o Lord my strength God is my foundatiō my refuge God is my helper and I will hope in him my protector and the horne of my saluation and my defender Praising will I call vpon our Lord and I shall be safe from mine enemies The fourth prayer for obtaining of the loue of God ON the bended knees of my heart deuoured in the depth of mine own abiectnes with a◅ are and reuerence I come before thy sight o my God as one the most vnhappie poore and vilest creature of the world I set my selfe neere the flouds of thy mercy by the riuer of thy graces before the brightnes of the true Sunne of iustice whose beames are spread ouer the whole earth and communicate themselues freely to all those that shut not the window against them Behold a masse of chalke a rude and impolisht trunck cut from the tree is presented to the hands of the most wise workmaster make of it O most merciful Father that which thou hast decreed to doe Great is my boldnesse in that a creature so vile dare demand a loue so precious excellent as thine is Truly I would considering my great indignity require some lesser thing at thy hāds but what shal I doe wretch that I am whereas thou cōmandest me that I should loue thee Thou hast created me to the ende I should loue thee and threatnest mee except I loue thee Tho◅dst die that I might loue thee and commandest mee that I should aske nothing more feruently at thy hands than thy loue yea so much destrest thou to bee beloued by mee that seeing mee without thy loue thou didst institute thy Sacramēt of admirable value whereby my heart might be enflamed with thy loue O my Sauiour whom am I that thou shouldest require my loue to this end thou shouldest seeke so many and so admirable meanes What am I to thee but a torment a crosse and a vaily tribulation And what art thou to me but saluation rest and all goodnesse If therfore thou louest me why am I euerie waies trouble some vnto thee why shall I not loue thee again who art euery way so profitable and beneficiall to me Possessed therefore O Lord of these pledges of thy loue and confirmed by that thy mercifull commandement whereby euen vnto my liues ende it pleased thee so bountifully to muite me and command mee to loue thee by this thy singular grace I require another like fauour namely that thou wilt first giue me that which y◠wouldest haue me giue thee for I cannot giue thee this except thon first giue it me for I am not worthy to loue thee but thou art worthy to beloued by mee I therefore dare not request thee to loue thee but that it might please thee to giue me leaue to loue thee Fly not O Lord flie me not despise not to bee beloued by thy creatures with the vtmost of their loue O God who art essentially loue increated loue infinite loue loue without measure not onely a louer but all loue from whence the loue of all Seraphins euery creature proceedeth in like manner as the light of all the starres from the brightnes of the sun why shall I not loue thee how can I chuse but be burnt with this fire of loue which inflameth the whole world and each thing contained in the same yea welnigh burneth them O God who art essentialy goodnesse it selfe from whom all that is good whatsoeuer is called good from whom the goodnesse of all liuing creatures no otherwise than al riuers from the sea is deriued in comparison of whose more than excellent goodnes there is not any thing either in heauen or in earth that may be called good why therfore shall I not loue thee whereas goodnes is the obiect of loue If I cannot loue thee o my Lord for thine excellency how can I chuse but loue thee for mine owne profite sake The son loueth the father who hath receiued his being from him the members loue the head and offer themselues to death for it because by the same they are continued in their essence All effects loue their causes for from them they haue receiued whatsoeuer they are from them they expect that which yet they haue not but thou o Lord art my father my head and my cause that therefore which the sonne oweth the father the mother the head that which the effects owe to their causes all that and far more do I owe thee Thou gauest mee that beeing which I haue more perfect than my parents did thou keepest mee in this beeing which thou gauest mee more carefully than the head doth the members thou finishest in mee that which is wanting till thou hast brought mee to the last point of perfection Thou art my father which made me thou art my head which gouernest me thou art my spouse who gauest to my soule perfect felicity thou art the Architect of this building thou art the painter of this figure made according to thy image and similitude which thou wilt also make perfect Whatsoeuer it hath it hath it frō thee whatsoeuer it wanteth it hopeth to receiue it from thee For euen as no one could giue him that which he is but thou O Lord so also no man can perfect that which as yet is imperfect but thou whatsoeuer therefore it hath whatsoeuer it is whatsoeuer it hopeth all that is thine Whom therefore shal it behold but thee To whom shall it bee accountable but to thee In whose eies shall it walke but in thine Whither shall hee direct all his loue but to thee who art his whole good If therefore O Lord thou bee the beautie and ornament of my soule how cā I forget thee What haue I in heauen and what will I of thee on earth My flesh and my heart faileth God of my heart my heritage for euer O increate loue which alwaies burnest neuer art extinguished o loue which alwaies liuest and burnest in the bosome of God O eternall dart of the fathers heart that alwaies woundeth the face of the Son with the wound of infinite loue O let this dart wound me this fire inflame me let me follow thee my beloued let me sing a new song with a loud voice let my soule melt in thy praises with the vnspeakable applause and Iubile
the rest do not onely not profite but giue vs matter of greater damnation But O Lord what did I vnto thee that thou shouldst giue mee those things what obedience shewd I to thee that thou shouldst giue me this blessing what foundest thou in me worthy of so great honour reward nothing in mee was free frō sin I knew thee not I loued thee not I serued thee not neither had thee in remembrance I became the bottomlesse pit of darknes and iniquity I cannot choose O Lord but tremble with horror as oftē as I think hereon neither finde I any other cause of this benefite but thy bounty How many were my companions of the same age nature and impietie of whom I was the most reprobate yet tookest thou me vnto thee and forsookest them we were detained in the same Egyptian captiuitie thou admittedst mee to thy royall Table but condemnedst them cast out their flesh to bee deuoured by the creatures of hell Whilst I remember these things O Lord my spirit is no more in me and I know not how to praise thee or what thanksgiuing to offer vnto thee for so incomparable a benefite All the time of my life I will say O Lord what sawest thou in me O Lord what sawest thou in mee Lord what sawest thou in mee more than in the rest whom thou hast forsaken Why didst thou so call mee so deliuer mee so looke vpon me so succour me if so bee thou hast succoured me leauing the rest in sinne who were lesse euil than I I know not what to say I know not what to do I know not what to yeeld vnto thee O Lord for all the benefits thou hast bestowed on mee I will with the Prophet praise my Lord at all times his praise shall be alway in my mouth I will say with the same Prophet Thou hast brokē my bonds O Lord I wil sacrifice to thee the sacrifice of praise cal vpon the name of the Lord. To the Lambe that sitteth on the throne be blessing and honor and glory and power for euer euer Amen A thanksgiuing for the benefite of our spirituall conuersation in the life of grace I Adore thee I praise thee I glorifie thee I giue thee thanks most mercifull Father and eternal God with my whole heart for all thy benefits but in especiall for that thou hast called mee whom being beforetimes wounded thou hast ◅thout any my precedent merits ◅ured and being an enemie vnto thee reconciled redeemed from captiuity and called from death to life and of thy fatherly goodnesse hast hitherto conserued me in this state and as yet doest conserue me by thy grace Thou art he onely O Lord that created me made mee of nought and thou onely art he that conseruest that which thou hast created thou bountifully dost protect that essence of nature which thou gauest me lest it should perish Thou onely hast regenerated mee by thy Spirit in the life of grace By thee are we priuiledged from our sins by thee are wee conserued lest wee should fall againe into sinne If at any time I haue risen thou gauest me thy hand if I now stand thou sustainest me lest I fall As many good purposes as I haue conceiued as many godly inspiratiōs as I haue felt all are by thy benefite As oftē as I haue ouercome mine enemy as oftē as I haue refrained my euill inclinations and peruerse appetites it was thy benefite For if no man can say Lord Iesu but in the holy Spirit nor doe any good deede without thee euen as the branch can yeeld no fruite being deuided from the vine sure it is that if any fruite grow from this cluster it is by the benefite of that vine to which it cleaueth If at any time I haue fasted it came from thee if I haue endured aduersity patiently thou didst assist me if at any time I haue denied mine owne will it was thy working If euer hitherto I haue shed the teares of contrition if my prayers haue preuailed with thee I confesse O Lord that I did it by thy helpe I confesse that thou hast wrought all good workes in me for all theese doe I giue thee thanks I referre al these benefits with thanksgiuing to him from whom they proceeded that hereafter they may flow more plentifullie I acknowledge my selfe to bee indebted for so many benefits as I haue done duties to thee O Lord in this life if I haue done any at all What shall I say of the occasions and opportunities offered by thee vnto me of good life How many preachers hast thou sent to teach me how many counsellers to instruct me how many good friends how many godly companions how many good examples how many deuout bookes hast thou lent mee by whose helps I am incited to goodnesse and pricked forward to vprightnes of life Great are these thy benefits but greater doth he owe thee who hath profited without these blessed is hee whom thou hast taught O Lord and instructed in thy law for so much more hath hee profited by how much thou art a better Doctor and wiser Master then others But who can recount the perils and dangers from whence thou hast deliuered mee O bountifull shepheard of mens soules or the sinnes whereinto I had fallen wtout thine assistance There is no sin so great that was euer attempted by man which another man cannot fall into if the Creator bee wanting by whom he is made For whi◅h cause vpon good occasion I will call all mens sinnes my benefits for into al them might I haue beene plunged except thine infinite mercie had preserued mee Is many occasions of sinne therefore as might haue inforced mee to fall for they could inforce Dauid so many had I fallē into except thou O Lord hadst taken them away because thou knewest my infirmities All men acknowledge not these thy benefits but I through the grace doe both acknowledge embrace them How often O louing Father hast thou vsed this mercy towards mee How often hast thou bound the enemies hands lest he should tempt me or if he should haue tempted me that yet hee might not ouercome mee how often hast thou inchanted that old Serpent that although I walked amongst Uipers Bas◅lisques yet could they not hurt me How often hast thou trauelled with mee through water fire lest I should bee burned in the flame or drowned in the water How often in the midst of the seruants of this world hast thou tempered the flame of this Babylonicall furnace with the dew of the holy Spirit and so cooled it that it might not consume me How often might I iustly say with the Prophet I was thrust fore at y◠I might fal But y◠Lord was my helpe If at any time I haue stood I stood by thee if I haue fallen I haue fallen by my selfe thy hand hath staied me vp lest I shold be bruised Yea I had alwaies lien in y◠dirt