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A68044 Cornu-copiƦ, Pasquils night-cap: or, Antidot for the head-ache Fennor, William.; Breton, Nicholas, 1545?-1626?, attributed name. 1612 (1612) STC 10782.5; ESTC S104717 62,177 134

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befalne so many I say not that I cannot exempt any Better it were the title should be graced Then honest Cuckolds vtterly defaced And though when fruit is good we cannot blame Or fault the person which did graft the tree Yet in the ground which other men do claime We cannot plant nor graft nor sowe as free Each hath his parcell that which is inclosed Must at the owners pleasure be disposed If ground be scarce the common fields be cheape Yet let men sowe whereas they meane to reape The end is all and so may Cuckolds sing For many men are Cuckolds in the end Yet little good proceedeth from that thing To her which doth her husband thus offend For where she was esteemed chaste before Now she is taken for a paltry whore Nor was her end to win him reputation But for to quench the flames of fornication If that a tyrant merits any praise Which doth adiudge a Martyr to be slaine Then doth a wanton wife which spends her dayes In making hornes to breed her husbands bane Deserue great thankes For both alike wee see To be the causes of their destinie But though bad manners better orders breed Still they are nought shame shal be their meed None I suppose is of so vild a life But will affirme it by his owne confession To haue close dealing with anothers wife It is a shamelesse and a great transgression Yet though from thence arise a Cuckolds name No blemish can redound vnto the same For oft we see euen from a dung-hill growes Sweet flowers which neither sent nor odour lose Many a man of credit and good place Hath earnd great riches by a stinking Trade And neither doth his liuing him deface Nor of a baser reckoning is he made Why then should men thus scorne a Cuckolds life For that his name comes by a stinking wife Who doth dislike good meat is void of wit Although a greazie Scullion turne the spit Many a wicked father hath beene knowne To haue a sonne of good and honest life And many a famous Cuckold of renowne Hath erst beene married to a wanton wife And yet the womans lewdnesse is no shame Vnto the credit of a Cuckolds name For certs a Cuckold in his generation Is held a name of worth and estimation And of all men that liue vpon the ground None can more fitly be a Martyr named For with such scoffes and mockes his dayes abound As would in truth make any man ashamed But that with patience he is possest Which makes him happie and his state more blest For Patience such a noble vertue is As will in fine promote him vnto blisse This is the cause so many learned Clarkes So many antient Authors and graue men Did in their seueral volumes and their workes Much in the praise of worthy Cuckolds pen. For where this patience is so much commended A Cockolds honor needs must be intended And well we may expound them in that sense Since that a Cuckold is all Patience And rather truly might those learned wits Applaud a Cuckold vnder that pretence Because this vertue which that state befits Might beare among them some preheminence And since it might seeme foolish to dilate In open words the glory of their state Better they thought to set before her eyes The patient Cuckolds praises in this wise Tully the Orator so much admir'd The Paragon of sweet-tun'd Eloquence In such a robe of glory hath attir'd A Cuckolds vertue and his patience That he not onely hath preferd him cleere Before all men that are or euer were But also hath without respect of ods Reputed him as equall to the gods Ilist not here alledge what all haue said In commendation of the patient crue The vsuall examples which are made Do proue my sayings and assertions true That sure I wonder and I much admire them Vnlesse the hornes with patience do inspire them How they so meekly suffer and abide The wrongs and iniuries which them betide But doubtlesse they are men of gallant parts And scorne to take reuenge for euery toy It fits not valorous and noble harts To picke a quarrell with each scuruy boy They liue contented still what ere befall And for their crosses neither fight nor brall What Fortune sends they willingly receiue As you by this example may perceiue An honest good plaine-dealing man of life Which got his liuing daily by his labour Finding a knaue in sporting with his wife And playing frolickly vpon his Tabor Did not as some would vse to sweare swagger And at the first sight stab him with his dagger But in good words he wisht they would amend And let him go because he was his friend Here is a glasse for all men to behold How great the patience of a Cuckold is Worthy in leaues of brasse to be inrold That after-ages might remember this Neuer was person of so mild a hart That if he found his wife at such a part Would with such quiet brooke so great a scorne Except he had an interest in the horne I know some hot-spurd-youths which are not wed Will sweare this Cuckold was a very lout For if that they had found the knaue a bed Zound's by the eares they would haue puld him out They would haue beate the villaine like a stocke That neuer after he should loue the smocke And in such manner they would vse the Boore Scarce he should go aliue out of their doore Thus will my youthfull striplings in their vaine Brag of their valor ere they go to field But vanting Souldiers oftentimes are slaine Or in the battle forced for to yeeld An emptie vessell giues a mighty sound When least or nothing can therein be found Many can tell the way to tame a shrow But they which haue the woman do not know Oft haue I heard a gallant say as much And stamp sweare that he would flea him quicke Yet hath his fortune afterwards beene such Though he haue come euen in the very nicke And taken one in bourding with his wife He durst not draw his dagger for his life But was content to faine himselfe asleepe Meane while his head was armed like a sheepe What are they better if they take the knaue And beat him soundly or bereaue his life Can they auoyd the title they must haue Or purchase any credit to their wife 'T is but a meanes to breed their further scorne Because so grieuously they take the horne Better it is to see and not espy it Then by their folly more for to desery it But if the Cuckold-maker be so bold To turne againe and brauely play the man And knocke the Cuckold while his cudgell hold In what a taking is the Cuckold than Surely by this needs must he gaine profoundly That both is Cuckolded and beaten soundly Much wiser might he seeme to hold his peace Then with shrewd knocks his sorrows to increase If my aduice may serue in any
sober lookes their wanton lustes to hide Some woemen must be wo'ed they are so chast And some there are which tempt poore men as fast That to conclude as Ariosto taught Manie of them belewd vnchast and naught Phar'o the King of Aegypt being blind For ten yeares space made triall of this matter When by the Oracle he was assing'd To wash his eies in such a womans water Which kept her faith inuiolate and right And neuer had to doe with any wight But onely with her husband Then should hee Againe recouer sight and clearly see Manie a womans water Phar'o tri'd And manie a chambor-pot to him was brought Yet still his sight was vnto his deni'd Because the female vrine helped nought Nor could his wife release the wofull King By the distilling vertue of her spring Long lay King Phar'o in great grief and paine Despairing euer to haue fight againe And but that one at last of honest life Which after manie thousands thither came And was approu'd a true and faithfull wife A modest matron and a vertuous dame Restor'd his sight by vertue of the fountaine Which bubbled purely from her bearing mountaine He yet had liu'd in darkenesse and been blinde For such Phisitions still are hard to find Here may the reader 3. thinges chiefly gather What store of hornes were extant by this matter How hardly then a child could know his father And what the vertue was of woemens water The first many might challenge as their right The last had power to giue the blind their sight And how could children know their fathers well When as their mothers truly could not tell Much could I wish that Phar'o were to trie The vertue of this medicine once againe That we might see what faith and loialtie In married wines doth at this day remaine Sure manie of them which haue done amisse Would say they had the stone could not pisse And manie which we iudge could not be blamed Then to make water would be much ashamed Then should you see some woemen which make showe Of pure behauiour and great honestie VVhich will not touch a man for ought we know Nor once bee seene in prophane companie VVhich walke in little ruffes and set their face So simpringly as if they still said grace Then should you see them by their vrinall To bee found meerely hypocriticall Then should you see how daintie and precise Manie fine minions would be at this martter Affirming that it could not helpe his eies To haue them washed in a womans water But that it was the superstitious tricke Of some prophane vngodlie Catholique Because within the Primitiue of yore They neuer read of such a thing before Then should you see some men which doe deride And scoffe at others wearing of the horne VVhen their owne wiues did come for to bee tride How they should be requited with like scorne Then manie woemen which seeme coie and nice VVould be dissemblers found by this deuice So that if Phar'o now releast would bee It would be long ere he should clearly see Nath'les I will not bee too cynicall To condemne euerie woman for this fault Nor for a certaine number blemish all Each beggar is not lame though 〈◊〉 hault Nor euerie woman of so small compunction To violate her faith and holie function For many woemen doubtlesse may be found VVhich keep their plighted promise whole soūd And God forbid that wee should all condemne Though all do taste the tree of good and ill For in so great a number some of them Must needes bee honest though against their will Some are for feare as modest as they may And worldly shame which holds them from their play And some reserue their loyalty vntainted Because with Gallants they are not acquainted And some for want of more conuenient place And time which for such pleasures are elected Preserue themselues from blemish and disgrace Chiefely because they would not be suspected And some for other idle vnknowne cause Obserue a while their vowes and marriage lawes But very few of them which to the last For loue of honesty continues chast Sometimes the golden prey doth make the theife And women yeeld for further maintenance Sometimes short commons makes them seek releife And stubborne vsage and sterne countenance Perforce constraine a woman now and than To seeke for comfort of a kinder man And sometime want of heartes when handes are married Is one great cause that many haue miscarried For 't is not now as erst in elder daies When marriage was contracted by affection For kindred now so much the matter swaies The parties haue small choice in loues election But many times ere one behold the other An vnaduised match the friends do smother And howsoeuer they two can agree Their frends haue woo'd they must married be When they are wed behold the ill successe They liue like dogs and cats in brawles and strife Before they lou'd not Now they fancy lesse Shee hates her husband hee abhorres his wife The diuels dance to see the iust confusion Of enforst marriage And to make conclusion Hee growes a carelesse vnthrift bare and poore Shee turnes a shamelesse and detested Whoore Thus many either for this last respect Or for the causes which I late recited May iustly for their knauery be suspect And by the lawes of honesty endited Where though that none doe giue in euidence Nor sit as Iudge but their owne consciene Certaine it is the most would guilty stand To be condemn'd to dye or burnt i' th hand For either lust reuenge or want of loue And vnkind husband or desire of gaine The tender hearts of woemen doth so moue As old and new examples shew most plaine That few of them if they haue fit occasion Are able to withstand a weake inuasion For they are fraile vnconstant apt to range Faire-fac'd false-hearted and by nature strange Chast wiues are as the grapes which we may see To hang vpon the Vine the vintage past Or as the Apples which are on a tree When blustering Autumne hath her pride defac't For such a dearth of honesty is tride Since Patient Gresill and True Constance di'd That if a wife be honest if once crost It is almost as strange as the great frost Here could I cote a rabble of those wiues That you would wonder but to heare them nam'd Which whilome led such lewd dishonest liues That to remember them I am asham'd But that the multitude and mighty number Were good for nothing but your eares to cūber Nor need we any proofes from graue be brought We haue too many liuing which are nought Nor will I here their other vices scanne Which more then to a million do amount Hee that would know them may in Mantuan See a great number more then I can count As enuy scolding swearing lying pride Dissembling and a thousand faults beside Which I forbeare because beyond my tex I would be loth those louing wormes to vex For
next Tide To land aboue the Bridge were all descride The Kentish-men at their next Congregation Seeing the Post to be purloin'd away T' erect another made a consultation As like vnto the former as they may Which was no sooner vp but some againe Which had smal cause for want of horns to plain Stole them away And thus from time to time They were abused with the fore-said crime Which thing when that these curtail'd men espide With certaine London Butchers they agreed That they sufficient hornes should still prouide For to repaire the Post when it should need And for reward the neighbouring fields should be Theirs and their heires to hold eternally Prouided still that hornes did neuer want For then they made a forseit of their grant Thus is the Post repair'd and Fortunes Port Since Citizens first tooke their Hornes away Whether it be in earnest or in sport Is nicke nam'd Cuckolds-Hauen to this day And at this place as you shall vnderstand Was Maister Hercules conuai'd to Land An ominous presage without all doubt Of future lucke and what he went about The watermen which tumbled in with him Were in the meane time gotten to the shore For they by happie fortune both could swim Being instructed in that Art before Their bote and euerie thing the others sought And vnto land with Hercules them brought Onely his hat was mist which was small harme His Horn-wroght-cap wold keep his nodle warm They were no sooner on the bankes arriu'd But presently new troubles did begin The stubborne watermen of wit depriu'd Fell at debate about their falling in And first with bitter termes of foule disgrace Each one reuil'd an other to his face And afterward to recompence their mockes They fell frō words to blowes boistrous knocks Which when stout-hearted Hercules beheld Being vnwilling to be beaten drie He tooke his heeles and ran into the feild To shun the dangers of this mutiny Where by the glimmering of a candle bright Vpon a little cottage he did light Whither he went and entrance did desire To drie his dropping garmentes by the fire Which when the maister of the house did heare And looking forth did see that miser wight Which like a drowned mouse stood dropping there He was much moued at that pittious plight And first into his cottage him admitted And after bid him wellcome as befitted And made a fire enough to rost a bull And gaue him Ale and Tost his bellie full The watermen which lately were at iar Seing the lookers on to giue them way And not once offer for to end their warre Did wisely of themselucs conclude the fray And after that they found their buffets smarred From blowes they fell to wordes and so departed Cursing each other with reproches vile After they were asunder halfe a mile And now our mariners no sooner were Freed from those dangers and all tumultes past But that incontinent a sudden feare A fresh inuaded them and much agast For Hercules they mist and sought about Yet by their seeking could not finde him out Then did they call alowd but all in vaine Which makes them seare he is fall'n in againe Neere to the shore they searched with their bote But no whereby their groping could him finde His hat they found which fairely there did flote With treble Sypers and with veluet lin'd But missing him they rowd againe to land More happie tidinges there to vnderstand Whither arriu'd The dawncing day did shewe The little cottage situate belowe Vnto that little house forthwith they ran And for halfe-drowned Hercules enquire When they beheld that lamentable man In drouping manner drying his attire Sadly he lookt and sorrily did sit As if he scarce recouered had his wit But when he saw the watermen arriu'd His fainting spirits somewhat were reviu'd Glad were they to behold each other there And 'gan discourse of their fore-passed dangers But maister Hercules now void of feare Did chafe and fret and threat curse the strangers And like a Lyon raging for his prey Did sweare reuenge if they came in his way For to a yong man fals no greater losse Then in his wooing time to haue a Crosse The watermen his wrath to pacifie Gaue him faire wordes and 'gan for to relate How valiantly they made their foes to flie And how they soundly knockt them on the pate But since quoth they all dangers now are past And we are safely here arriu'd at last Let 's drinke downe sorrow the day here spend And at next Ebbe wee 'l ferrie to Granesend With this was master Hercules content And there that day to tarrie he decreed For when we cannot choose we must consent His clothes were wet and he could not proceed For both his health the time his good fortune To wooe in drie apparrell did importune And homeward to returne he was vnwilling There to be mockt T were better spend a shilling There all that day and allmost all the the night Too tedious vnto Hercules they stay'd W'here how they spent the time recount I might But that to trouble you I am afray'd Therefore of purpose as I thinke most fit Those circumstances I will here omit Because for breuitie I most intend To haue them quickly landed at Grauesend And now conceiue them in their boate againe Their garments dry and they faire shipt for Kent And now so swift they furrow downe the maine As if an arrow from a long-bow went And now imagine they haue fail'd so fast That at Graues-end they are arriu'd at last And now because wee 'l not be long a doing Imagine Hercules is close a woing Kate had her lesson and at first was coy Yet was she coyly kind and kindly nice Now lift him vp with hope her to enioy Now cast him downe with doubts which did arise Shee said his faith and long perseueration Had almost forc't her to commiseration And that she lou'd but where our selues we are not We often wish when do the thing we dare not I do confesse I beare you some affection Although the same I yet durst neuer shew For where the Parents will haue all election The children must be bended to their bow And therefore since their will must be my law Let me entreat your meaning to with-draw How happy are those maids whofe fearlesse voice May of their husbands make their own free choice Both hope and feare in Hercules his face Were seene to combat when he thus repli'd Let me enioy thy fauour and thy grace And I respect not all thy friends beside For though they be vnwilling and withstand To giue their full consent to my demand Yet if to be my wife thou wilt agree Without their liking I will marry thee Pitty it were your feruent loue said Kate Should want his merite and his due desart And I could wish if it were not too late To giue redresse to your destressed heart But that my Parents haue decreed it meeter To haue me married vnto Maister Peter The