their damnable actions for our honour We are pleased to take speciall notice of that service which they most willingly endeavoured to effect for the confusion of all the hereticks inhabiting England Scotland Ireland and the Netherlands by the late conceived Invincible Armado procured from Spain in the yeare of our raigne 5660. Which through the providence of the celestiall powers then over them and the disturbance of Martin Harper Trump here below failed of that successe which wee together with them expected and hoped for to our no lesse sorrow then theirs Nor can we but applaud the diligent care taken by our children and servants of greatest quality in that Kingdome in preventing the discovery of that Invasive plott by the hereticks and their small well-meaning State through their speedy flight to Dover Rode and private conference there with Don Oquindo the Generalissimo of Spaine to that effect All which was most exquisitely performed especially by our hispaniolized lack-latine Lord our dearely beloved servant And lastly our hope is that this present plot set on foot by these our trusty and well-beloved children and servants afore-named and by their earnest endeavours and our assistance once effected will crowne all our labours to our unspeakable terrestriall glory and their eternall favours by us to bee conferred on them in our Royall Pallace of perdition where we have already imposed our Royal command upon our trusty and wel-beloved cozen and counsellour Peter Tretyacove Chancellour Evane Becklemeesheve our Knight Marshall Richardo Slowe Treasurer and Don Serborus grand Porter of our said Pallace to give them free admittance into our Royall Presence Thus no wayes doubting of your singular care and diligence in fulfilling this our Royall will and pleasure hereby expressed we doe further impose our Royall favour and Princely respect to be by you presented unto our trusty and wel-beloved cozen and counsellour your present Nuntio in the Court of England as also unto our beloved children and servants the Bishops Jesuites Priests and Seminaries our faithfull agents in this invincible plot and also to all our faithfull subjects and servants the Roman Catholicks of England We are pleased to remaine your Royall Soveraigne and Patron of all your damnable plots and stratagems now in hand Given at out Infernall Pallace of perdition this first of September and in the 5661. yeare of our most damnable raigne Postscript Since the above-writtē we are credibly informed of the intention of a most scandalous Petition to be delivered by a small number of hereticall Lords unto their King at York which doth not a little touch our honour the discovery of this our present stratagem Our expresse will pleasure is that there be some speedy course taken for the suppressing of the same and the authors thereof severely punished and Pomfret Castle allotted unto them for their abode untill our will and pleasure be further knowne and this our designe be effected of which faile you not as you tender our Royall favour the successe of this our designe and your owne safety Farewell Antonio Furioso Diabolo Principalio Secretario Consider this and marke the substance well It seemes a letter from the Feind of hell What ere the form or method seeme to be Th' intent thereof was quite the contrarie Had not this rung a knell in some mens eares They 'd nea'r been freed from their slavish feares Of tyranny oppression and th' Bishops pride Judges and Lawyers a wicked crew beside Of Doctors Proctors that the Realm did sway Trod under foot Gods truth turn'd night to day Strove to confound Great Brittains Monarchy Justice and Truth pervert advanc't impiety And all by this Romes doctrine to prefer Obey the Pope and serve King Lucifer That is the cause why them he doth applaud That he thereby with them may have the LAUD And honour due unto his servants all That strive by him to worke Great Brittains fall A true Coppie of the Petition which was by the Lords presented unto the KING at York September the 12. 1640. To the Kings most Excellent Majesty THe humble Petition of your Majesties most loyall subjects whose names are here under subscribed in the behalfe of themselves and divers others Most gracious Soveraigne The sense of that duty we owe to Gods sacred Majesty and our nearest affection to the good and welfare of this your Realm of England have moved us in all humility to beseech your Royall Majesty to give us leave to offer to your Princely wisdom the apprehension which we others your faithful subjects have conceived of the great distemper and danger now threatning this Church and State your Royall person and of the fittest means to remove and prevent the same The evils and dangers whereof your Majesty may be pleased to take notice of are these That your Majesties sacred person is exposed to hazard danger in this present expedition against the Scottish Army and that by occasion of this warre your Majesties revenues are much wasted your subjects burthened with cote and conduct mony billiting of souldiers and other military charges and divers rapines disorders committed in severall parts of this your Realm by the souldiers raised for that service and the whole Realme full of feares and discontentments The sundry innovations in matters of Religion the oath of Canons lately imposed upon the Clergy and others of your Majesties subjects the great increase of Popery and imploying of Popish Recusants and others ill affected unto Religion are established in places of power trust especially in commanding of men armes both in the field in sundry other Counties of this your Realm which by the lawes they are not permitted to have any armes in their owne houses The great mischiefe that may fall upon this Kingdom if the intention which hath beene credibly reported of the bringing in of Irish and forraigne forces should take effect The heavy charge of Merchants to the great discouragement of trade The multitude of Monopolies and other Patents whereby the commodities and manufactures of this Kingdome are much burthened to the great and universall grievances of your people the great griefe of your subjects with the long intermission of Parliaments and the late and former dissolving of such as have beene called without the happy effects which otherwise they might have produced for remedy whereof and prevention of the danger that may ensue to your Royall person the whole state They do in all humility faithfulnesse beseech your Majesty that you will be pleased to summon a Parliament in some short and convenient time whereby the causes of these and other great grievances which your people suffer under may be taken away the Authors Counsellors of them may be brought to such legall tryal condigne punishment as the nature of their offences shall require and that the present warre may be composed by your Majesties wisdom without bloudshed in such a manner as may conduce to the honour
of your Majesties person safety the cōfort of your people uniting of both the Realmes against the common enemies of the reformed religion your Majesties petitioners shall c. The names of such Earles and Barons as subscribed this Petition viz. Earles Bedford Hartford Essex Mougrave Warwicke Bullingbrooke Rutland Lincolne Exeter Vicounts Lord Say and Seale Mandifield Brooke Harford North Willowby Savell Wharton Lovelace Saint John Articles of agreement made concluded and done this 28. of September in the yeare of grace 1641. and of the world 5662. by and between the high and mighty Prince Lucifer King of Sticks and Phlegeton the holy and most superstitious Primate of the Roman Church the Cardinals Bishops Jesuites Priests and Semenaries of the one party and Judge Bribery Lawyer Corruption Atturney Contention Solicitor Sedition Justice Connivence Jaylor Oppression and State Negligence of the other party in manner and forme following Imprimis IT is this day mutually agreed by and betweene the severall parties above-named That there shal be a league offensive and defensive concluded and confirmed by both parties at or before Holy-roode day next ensuing the date hereof Item That whereas there hath beene lately by the subtill practises of some Parliamentary reformists a discord dissension raised between the State Ecclesiastick the state of the Inns of Court wherby there hath hapned no small prejudice unto the ecclesiastick state the likes whereof is to be doubted may also fall upon the state of the Innes of Court and so consequently upon the Crown and dignity of our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer It is therefore mutually agreed that all former controverfies and contentions betweene both parties shall cease and that all unity peace and concord shall be imbraced on either side according to the expressions in the precedent Article to the honour of our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer his crowne and dignity Item It is agreed that the said state of the Inns of Court and the state Ecclesiastick afore-said shall joyntly severally use the uttermost of their strength power and policy to resist and suppresse all such proceedings of this present Parliament which shall any way tend to the Reformation and suppression of Oppression Extortion Bribery Contention Tradition And that they shall and will with all their might power and policie endeavour and strive to broach advance and maintaine all the said severall impieties again to the honour of our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer his crowne and dignity Item It is agreed by betweene our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer and the whole state Ecclesiastick of the one part and Judge Bribery That forthwith upon the dissolution of this present Parliament He the said Judge Bribery is then again to put in practise the taking of bribes passing of false judgment and maintaining his false corrupt sentences and decrees to be things sacred and infallible oppressing the innocent by close imprisonment and also favouring all Jesuites Priests and Semenaries if any of them happen by the Instruments of Justice to be laid hold on animating and instructing all Atturnies Soliciters and Clarks for and to the sowing of strife and contention amongst the people of the land to the honour of our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer his crowne and dignity Item It is agreed by betweene our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer Lawyer Corruption that he the said Lawyer Corruption shall notwithstanding any powerfull Parliamentary reformation still persist in taking fees both of plaintife and defendant nor shall ever bring any honest cause to its period untill he hath in fees devoured the whole substance both of plaintife and defendant neither shall he the said Lawyer Corruption ever at any time give any true and prevalent advice to any his clyents but shall delude and delay them untill hee hath draynd them as afore-said to the utter ruine of them their wives and children to the honour of our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer and the propagation of his Crowne and dignity To their owne present rich impiety and assured successefull perdition Item It is agreed and concluded by and betweene our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer and Atturny Contention That he the said Atturny Contention shall and will at all times in all places and upon all occasions use his best diligence to sow debate strife variance contention amongst the people of the land without exception of persons yea he shall not omit to set the father against the son and the son against the father as also one brother against the other to the utter ruine of their estates houses and families to that end he shall dispose of himselfe and all his imphes into all the quarters and severall corners of the Kingdom neither shall there be any market-towne or place of habitation but hee shall seat himselfe there to the intent and purpose afore-said to the honour of our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer his Crown and dignity and to the advancement of the said science of iniquity Item It is agreed by between our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer and Solicitor Sedition That he the said Solicitor Sedition shall will at all times use his best endeavour to stir up animate and encourage all people of what condition degree profession soever unto ◠in the law and that he the said Solicitor Sedition shall will prove faithfull unto all Lawyers and Atturnies and shall will be slow in the prosecution of any mans cause whatsoever spin out the thred thereof unto its full length especially in the Courts of equity by multiplicity of begging orders and by not omitting to have this clause inserted into every of his orders viz. unlesse cause be shewed to the contrary at the next court day by the defendant as also by falsifying of orders through the corrupting of registers and corrupting of counsell in an honest cause by deceiving his clyents through false and unjust bils of charges by brybing the Judges of the severall Courts and the masters of the Chancery richly to the honour of our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity and the eternall damnation of Solicitor Sedition Item It is agreed concluded in Perpetuum between our Soveraigne Lord King Lucifer Jaylor Oppression that whereas through the rigour of the law many poore Christian soules are committed unto his keeping and safe custody for sundry causes sometimes for no just cause at all He the said Jaylor Oppression shall will by himself his clarks servants be void of all mercy compassion towards them and shall and will as much as in him lyeth endeavour to worke the utter ruine of the estates and lives of all such as shall be committed to his custody and to that end he the said Jaylor Oppression shall nor will not bee slacke in giving bribes otherwise stiled new-yeares-gifts yearly unto all the Judges of the Courts of Justice for and towards the better incouragement and animation of them to the commitment of all such to
containing sundry course meats as scriveners brokers usurers jailors baliss sergeants informers perjured Chuch-wardens justlers of the peace and bumbailifs this messe is seasoned with parchment deceit extortion usury oppression murdering of Christian souls in prisons through famine false information injustice neglect and tyranny and is garnished with a number of irreligious Maiors Sherifs Feoderies escheaters Clarkes of the syse Clarcks of the peace Constables and headboroughs But this messe is by his majesties order to be disposed of unto his servant Pope Indeed my Lord Card. me thinks this Messe hath a very bitter rellish with it else my mouth is quite out of taste I confesse it to be a messe fit onely for his majesties Hell-hounds But what is this last messe Card. I conceive this messe to be very well known to your holinesse for it is seasoned with most of those operative spices that all the meat dressed in your holines kitchen is seasoned with this mess contains divers justicial birds of Middlesex as namely the Long the Hearn the Snape the Hooker the Geay the likes of them Seasoned with the fees and bribes of all the whores and theeves that live in Westminster Coven-Garden Holborn Grub-street Clarkenwell Rosemary-lane Turnbull-street Ratcliff Southwark Bank-side and Kent-street this dish is also garnished with the New-yearsgifts of the whores theeves and cutpurses dwelling in the forenamed severall places but this Messe is by his majestie reserved for his owne peculiar pallate Pope Oh venerable Bead Oh holy Garnet O sanctified Faux O reverend Becket O beloved Ravilliack Campion Watson Parsons Morton Sands and admired Bellarmine I call you all to witnesse this day whether you or any of you have ever as yet been capeable of such a delicious feast adorned with so many varieties beautified with so many severall rarieties and seasoned with such delectable spices Sancte â—dicte Orâ— pro nobis And thus rendring all humble and hearty thanks with all reverence in all obedience unto his Majestie our most damnable prince and Protector Lucifer King of Sticks and Phlegeton I remaine his majesties humble servant and Vice gerent at his majesties sole disposall during life PAPA ROMANORUM Advices and motives to the Honourable Assembly in Parliament E. S. I. The stake 's three Crowns foure Nations gamsters are E. W. I. S. Ther 's three to one and yet no man that dare Take these great odds the cause is as they say The fourth knows both our stock cards we play This turnes the odds and makes most gamesters thinke Wee 'r but in jest and play our Cards and winke The Sett goes hard when gamesters thinke it best Though three men vie it the fourth sets his rest My Masters you that undertake the game Looke to 't your Countries safety and her fame Are now at stake be carefull how you cut And deale as knowne occasions put you to 't The Cards are strangely shuffled for your parts 'T is odds you ever get the ace of harts Yet the five finger and some helps beside Lie in the pack disperst be those your guide That you possesse to tell you what you want Least the mistake of one poore tricke should daunt Your spirits quite and make you fling away Your liberty not to be lost by play Detest foule jugling now 't is in your powers Let none but square play passe the game is yours For here you see Hell Rome and all their traine Plot to confound all your good Lawes againe Then have a care expell Romes imphes make sure Your Lawes and Liberties may still indure To future ages posterities then may Have cause to blesse your memories for aye LAment lament you Bishops all each weare his blackest gowne Hang up your Rochets on the wall your pride is going downe It needs must grieve each Romish heart to heare this sad relation All Cannons are not worth a fart made in the Convocation The Bishops holy Synod and the Priests of Baal that there Consented and concluded all are now in grievous feare To be depriv'd of Priestly stile of Coat Canonicall And quite be banished this Ile they feare they must be all Ah poore Etcetera is now dead which grieves the Bishops most What they would have immortall made hath now given up the Ghost Alas I what new begotten oath like snow against the Sun It did begin to melt away when th' Parliament begun All Ceremonies are good cheape And I will tell you how The Tippit Hood and Surplisse eke are good for nothing now And which I wâ—s more woefull is and most their courage quayles There was a grievous murther made among their holy Rayles Oh when this sad and heavy newes unto that Synod came The Birds and Beasts were in a muse Asse Wren and Duck and Lambe And then a dolefull ditty these did thus lament together Alas we must all runne away when shall we run and whether Shall we with Windibanke to France or flie to Holland where The Finch is flown for us a place before hand to prepare No quoth the Duck wee 'l fly to Rome and there rest without feare Of Parliament and then the Lambe may come up in the reare And there wee 'l drinke a health to all the Puritans confusion That have thus strongly wrought our fall by Parliament conclusion The Judges and the Lawyers all Atturnies Proctors Clarkes Soliciters and Advocates Must now stand in their Sarkes And penance doe for all their faults Their bribes they must restore Their cheats and tricks which they did use They practise must no more The people long they have beguil'd And many a one undone Gods curse their wealth for this doth melt As snow is by the Sunne Their children and posterity The Gallowes doth devoure Themselves have made a league with hell To raigne still by his power God is the God of unity Of love and peace alone But these men for deceit and strife The like of them there 's none Probatum est Received by me Fountaine of iniquity this 22. of September 1641. by the helpe of Judge Bribery and the furtherance of Lawyer Impiety of Romanus Treachery the summe of 10. pounds of damnable simplicity 9. pounds of superstitious ignorance 7. pounds of idolatrous folly 6. pounds of wilfull stupidity and 3. pounds of perversenesse to and for the use of Impatience And by his appointment to be delivered unto gentle Prodigality to and for the use of Mistris Inconstancy daughter and sole heire unto Mistris Letchery the grand-child of Mistris Bawdery dwelling next doore unto Mistris Beggery By the new Prison neare the whipping thong At no great distance from M. Iustice Long Long hath a long time beene a knave Receiving bribes from every slave Long ever hath a shelter beene full sure For every theefe a Cutpurse and a Whore Long knowes full well his Christmas how to keepe On cost of Whores those are his onely sheepe His Capons Wood-cocks Sheeps-heads Sâ—ites and Geayes Providers of good cheere on all assayes Long may he feast his body fill his purse By such a crue of hellish imphes Gods curse Assuredly will fall on him and his And prove his fatall recompence for this Long may he be a knave of such great fame To all Whores glory his owne eternall shame FINIS