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A13429 Bull, beare, and horse, cut, curtaile, and longtaile. VVith tales, and tales of buls, clenches, and flashes. As also here and there a touch of our beare-garden-sport; with the second part of the merry conceits of wit and mirth. Together with the names of all the bulls and beares Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1638 (1638) STC 23739; ESTC S120272 20,696 72

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Bull Beare and Horse Cut Curtaile and Longtaile VVith Tales and Tales of Buls Clenches and Flashes Is also here and there a touch of our Beare-Garden-sport with the second part of the Merry conceits of Wit and Mirth Together with the Names of all the Bulls and Beares LONDON Printed by M. Parsons for Henry Gosson and are to be sold at his shop on London Bridge 1638. This Dedication is directed to his well-Affected and much Respected his often Approved and truly beloved Mr. Thomas Godfrey Keeper of the Game for Beares Bulls and Dogges KInd friend I am sure you can defend me from being bitten with your Beares though not from being back-bitten by Envie you can stave me and save me from the Goring of your Bulls but there are too many heards of other Horned Beasts to But at my Inventions and tosse my harmlesse meaning as their empty Iudgements and Witlesse fancies are enclin'd howsoever I am resolv'd to love you and not to Respect them I am glad that you can say that an excessive time of charge is past with you and I hope for better dayes and times I have touched here and there merrily upon the Game but so farre from offence that I doe expect that it will be pleasing both to the Wise and to the Indifferent Readers And mee thinkes very fools should not be angry with it for I have thrust in a great many Bables to please them to If any thing doe seeme distastefull in it my Comfort is that a Wise man will not set his Wit to mine and be offended but if a Foole be angry then I will not set my Wit to his and take exceptions And thus with my best wishes to you and yours I remaine a poore friend to you and yours Iohn Taylor Bull Beare and Horse Cuts Curtols and Longtailes COncerning Buls sure no man is so Dull Orignorant but that he knowes a Bull There are more sorts of Bulls then Beares by ods For lupiter the chiefe of Heathen gods Into a Bull was pleas'd himselfe to Shape When on Europa he committed Rape And to a Bull he turn'd his forme divine When he on Ceres got faire Proserpine Taurus the Bull is if you wisely Note A Signe Caelestiall for the Necke and Throat If any doubt of it let them but go And buy an Almanacke hee 'le finde it so Pasipha Queene of Creet a Royall Trull Was monstrously enamour'd of a Bull 'Twixt whom the Monster Minotaure was got As in th eighth Booke of Ovid it was wrot But sure the stories truth is better fram'd That sayes there was a man there Taurus nam'd Who was beloved of the lustfull Queene And had with her too oft familiar beene 'T is said Semir amis King Ninus Mother Did love a Bull which is as true as 'tother When as Just Minos Creets victorious King The Megarans did to 's subjection bring For which to Iove a feast he solemniz'd Wherein a hundred Buls were sacrific'd The Brazen Bull of Ph●…llaris the Tyrant Was such a Beast as made the World admire on 't In which men Roasted were to death Tormented And he first suffred in 't that it Invented There dwels a man at Rome that Buls can make To make seduced Kings and Kingdomes Quake Which Buls though Lead O wondrous to behold Are quickly Metamorphos'd into Gold There 's the Philosophers Admired Jemme That long sought Jewell worth a Diademe That hard hard stone which many men have sought And all they found they found themselves worth nought The Castle Angello doth it Immure And there turnes drossy Lead to Gold most pure There are Bulbeggers which fright Children much There are Bull Taverns that mens Wits will tutch And further for the Buls Renowne and fame We had an ex'lent Hangman of that name Suppose a man 's match'd with a beauteous Wife Who with an ugly Dwarfe defiles her life To please her husband she can fiddle faddle Whilst oftentimes a Monkey fits his Saddle A man may say that he most basely is Bull'd with an Vrchin through his Wifes Amisse And now of late a Bull 's a Common Creature For men with nonsence do speak Bull 's by Nature From East to West from North unto the South Bull 's are produc'd each houre by Word of Mouth Which every day are brought unto the Printer Faster then Mother Puddings made her Winter To the decay of many a Tallow Taper And the consuming many a Reame of Paper Soft Mault doth make sweet Fire the Proverb sayes Or else the Bull sayes so you see which wayes If men would use to Leape before they Looke Bulls should not thus be thrust in many a Booke For though Care may be Kill'd with any Cat You are not sure the Fire is in the Fat Fooles faine say they do often make faire Words Yet some may Catch the Bush some beat the Birds But Better comes the seldome I desire For My Kill set the Peck of Mault on fire This any man may to him selfe apply That When the Larks fall we may catch the skie But if my Judgement do me not deceive I do esteeme it better lacke then leave Though Brawne and Bacon breeds from Bores and Hoggs Yet hungry Puddings Will eat dirty Doggs And sure a man had better bide away Then come to late A Faire after the Day If such a one speed well it is as rare As t is To catch a Taber with a Hare Which is as certaine as blind Fortunes Wheele Or hold fast Like a wet Taile by the Eele Let every man a true decorum keepe Because t is ill A waking Dogge to sleepe And t is a Proverb throughout Christendome That never One day was not built in Rome If great men give me nothing I say plaine I le hurle as much as that at them againe He that stickes downe a Goose and steales a Feather Doth by that match not save or profit neither Along Corne for short harvest men may see Like tedious woeing for a scornefull shee T is folly for a man to fall at strife With Women who hath nine Cats like a life For when the Gray-Horse is the better Mare A Blinde man may be taken with a Hare Spet in your hold take better hands I say We may be heere to Morrow and gone to day The man that angrie is without amends T is fit without a canse he be made friends For though men know their Cattel by their marks The greatest men are not the wisest Clarkes I purpose no mans credit to defame But He that is balfe hang'd bath no good name Though all these Rimes are scarcely worth a Token The Water to the Pott goes till t is broken Who cuts their fingers must abide them bleed And when Geese preach then let thr Fox take heede T is hard to make me thinke or late or soone That ever Greene Cheese was made of the Moone Nor is it fit as I doe understand To put a mad Sword in a nak'd mans hand A man may be a
the Cuttleax the Goad 〈◊〉 better then the Gunne for the one 〈◊〉 are the Instruments of life and profit and the other are the Engines of death and all kinds of calamities Either shame or hunger A Poore man is in two extreames first if he aske he dyes with shame secondly if he aske not hee dies with hunger An Officers excuse ONe being in Office was reproved for negligence his excuse was that it was his best policy to be idle for if hee should do ill he should displease God and if he should do well he should offend men 〈◊〉 whom one answered you ought to do ●…our dutie for in well doing you shall ●●ease God and in ill doing you shall ●…lease men How women take pleasure to be sued unto VVOmen take great pleasure to be to be sued to though they never meane to grant Of Suites in Law ONe said that Suiters in Law were mortall and their sure immortall and that there is more profit in a quicke deniall then in a long dispatch Of Rome A Traveller was talking what a good City Rome was to whom one of the company said that all Rome was not Italy for we had too much Rome in England Irish wood an enemy to Caterpillars A Countrey Fellow came into Westminster Hall where one told him that the roofe of it was made of Irish wood and that the nature of it was such that no Spider would come neere it and he said further that in Ireland no Toad Snake or Caterpiller can live but that the Earth or the Trees will destroy them Ah quoth the Countrey man I wish with all my heart that the Benches Barres and Flooring were all made of such earth and wood and that all Coaches Barges and Wherries were made of Irish Oake that all our English Caterpillers might be destroyed Thomas Coriat's complaint of Iohn Taylor MAster Thomas Coriat on a time complained against me to King Iames desiring His Majestie that he would cause some heavie punishment to be inflicted upon me for abusing him in writing as he said I had to whom the King replide that when the Lords of His Honourable Privie Councell had leisure and nothing else to do then they should heare and determine the differences betwixt Master Coriat the Scholler and Iohn Taylor the Sculler which answer of the King was very acceptable to Master Coriat Whereupon I made this following Petition to the King TO THE KINGS MOST Excellent Majestie The humble Petition of Iohn Taylor your Majesties poore Water-Poet Sheweth MOst mighty Monarch of this famous I le Vpon the knees of my submissive mind I beg thou wilt be graciously inclin'd To reade these lines my rusticke Pen compile Know Royall Sir Tom Coriat works the wile Your high displeasure on my head to bring And well I wot the sot his words can file In hope my fortunes head-long down to fling The King whose Wisdome through the world did ring Did heare the cause of two offending Harlots So I beseech thee Great great Britaines King To do the like for two contending Varlots A brace of Knaves your Majestie implores To heare their suites as Solomon heard Whores A Ribble-Rabble of Gossips THe space of a fortnight from the Bear-baiting two houres and a halfe from the Wind-mill about foure of the Clocke in the forenoone a little after supper in the morning betweene old mother Maudlin of the Parish of Ideots Plaintiffe of the one party and Gossip Gitlian of Gossips Hall in the Parish of Twattlebourgh of the other party Defendant A mauer in Controversie depending of issues whereupon it was constulted by the right reverend Matron Madam Isabel that Katharine should go no more a Maying with Susan in the coole of the Evening before sun-rising whereupon Lister took the matter snuffe and swore by the crosse of Audr●… Bugle-bow that Ione should jogge to 〈…〉 house to borrow her poking sticke upon this Philiday starts up very jeparately and commands Marget to make haste to Rache 〈…〉 house and borrow a dozen of left handed spoones now old Sibill all this while sate mumping like a Gib-Cat and on the sudden she starts up and thrusts Charity out of doores to take up her lodging where shee could get it Doll being much offended to see Marget invited to Prec●●●aes wedding by no meanes could suffer Abigaile to breake her fa●…t before she got Victuals presently Bettrice whispers Cicily in the care foftly that all the company heard it and bad her tell Alice that unlesse she took heed the pot would run over and the fat lie in the fire at this Mary clap'd her hands together and entreats Blanch to tell her Cozen Edith how shee should say that Luce should say that Elizabeth should do the thihg she wots of Amy hearing all this with a judiciall understanding capacity at last tels Parnell that her daughter Rebecka was gone to lie at her Aunt Christians house in Shooing-horne Alley Now in the heat of all this businesse Barbara tels Frances how there is good Ale at the Labour-in-vaine the matter being brought to this passe Winifrid sayes that her goddaughter Grace is newly brought God blesse the child and that Constance the Comfit-makers wife at the signe of the Spiders leg must be Gossip out alas sayes Temperance what have I forgot I should have been an houre agone at Prudences the Laundresse to have taken measure of a paire of Cuffes for her Maid Dorcas Now to conclude the businesse Martha protests that she will never trust Thomasin againe while she lives because she promised to meet her at Pimlico and bring her neighbour Bethya with her and came not Neverthelesse Faith went to mother Red-Caps by the way metwith Ioyce who very kindly batled her peny w th her at a fat Pig Well quoth Sara all this wind shakes no corn and I should have bin a starching Mistresse Mercies Lawne Apron and like a good Huswife I am prating heere Neighbours and friends quoth Arbella seeing the matter drawes toward so good a conclusion let 's een have the tother Pint before we go truly sayes Iane the motion is not to be misliked what say you Gossip Vrsula truly sayes Ellin I would go with you with all my heart but I promist to meet Lydya at a Lector that we might take a neighbourly nap together Vpon this rose a hurly burly that the whole assembly dispersed themselves divers wayes some one way some another and in conclusion the businesse was all wisely ended as it was begun A Beare Beare and forbeare I now speake of the Beare And therefore Reader give or lend an Eare. FIrst therefore in much briefenesse I am rendring Where and how Beares have breeding and engendring Some are Ossean some are Callidonian Some Aeremanthian Beares and some Aemonian Some rugged Russians some Sun-burnt Numidians Amphibians And lastly the white swimming Beares Some do affirme a Beare to be a creature Whelp'd like a lump with neither shape or feature Untill the Damme doth licke it into