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A26201 The way to be rich, according to the practice of the great Audley who begun with two hundred pound in the year 1605, and dyed worth four hundred thousand pound this instant November, 1662. G. B.; Audley, Hugh, d. 1662. 1662 (1662) Wing B71; Wing A4200; ESTC R28318 23,533 42

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Preach he would usually say that we might very well content our selves to go to Heaven the old and good way which our forefathers went in what saith he are we wiser then our forefathers seek wisdome among the Ancient and in length of dayes understanding yea in all matters as well Religious as Civill this was his rule that the judgements of men experienced aged and wise yea though they speak without any proofe or demonstration are no less to be hearkned unto then as being demonstrations in themselves because such mens long observation is as an eye wherewith they presently and plainly behold those principles that sway over all actions that which makes men wise is the gathering of principles out of their own particular experiments and the framing of our particular experiments according to the rule of their principles will make us such as they are the times will never be well he said untill we had Queen Elizabeths Protestants againe in fashion here 's now one saith one thing and another saith another so that a man cannot tell what Religion to be of he observed that the great scandall of our Religion is the great covetousness of our Clergy men they must have their hundreds and thousands a year when as fome fifty or threescore might satisfie an honest man to buy him a few Books and meat and drink and cloathing wherewith he should be contented for he allowed not marriage in a Clergy man for said he their Children never thrived and their Wives were usually left in a poor condition when the Parson is alive they lead a merry life but when the Parson is dead and gone where then is the Parsons Wife truely he wondred what the Papist meant when he affirmed that the poor sinner should be saved by his workes I rest said he often in this that salvation is not of workes but of grace for if of workes then we should have something to boast but when we have done all we are but unprofitable servants he would much complaine of the uncomfortable preaching of the late times when he could hear of nothing but of Hell and damnation whereas they are preachers of the Gospel the glad tidings of Salvation he looked upon the Lords Prayer as an absolute forme of Prayer to which none can adde by any their new inventions which he would constantly say morning and evening Virginity he looked upon as meritorious and therefore he would say to an old Maid of his I like thee the better because thou art unmarryed to which she replyed In troth master I like you the worse because you are unmarryed he thought all Religion consisted in this Do unto others as thou wouldest have others do unto thee this is the Law and the Prophets SECT VI. Of his obtaining that profitable place in the Court of Wards WHen he had setled himself in a very good Estate he resolved to quit his small gaines at Guild-Hall and to fly at some greater ones at Court he buyeth an excellent place at the Court of Wards for 3000. l. where he got this vast Estate of which place being asked what was the value of it by the year he answered as another in the like case that it might be worth some thousands of pounds to him who after his death would go instantly to Heaven twice as much to him who would go to Purgatory and no body knowes what to him who would adventure to go to Hell one asked our old man how he made a shift to live so long he answered I have a good place at Court and seldome doth a man die in a good place there in the Court of Wards he gained money by doing a good Office viz. in hindring some great persons to make a prey of young Heires for some fees allowed him by the Heires relations and therefore he was the father of the fatherless Although the three Honourable persons under whom he lived looked upon the livings that fell into their hands by wordships as theirs to dispose of and not to make profit by in so much that one of them when two rich Parsons endeavoured to out-vie one another in offering great summes of money for a great place asked a third Parson who stood by looking for a small living but of great worth what will you Sir give for this great place not a peny answered he for it is against my conscience then saith the Honourable person you Sir deserve the place best you shall have it though I say they were so just that they were deafe to all importunity besides that of a known worth joyned with piety and industry yet this Gentleman under them made great advantages of such things that in vaine did those masters throw away the bribes when this servant might catch them up at the first rebound yea before ever they come to the ground as we know what Lord Keeper it was in the later dayes of Queen Elizabeth who thought himself an upright man was spoken of for the business of his servants in the sale of Ecclesiasticall livings he had the best way for the cleane conveyance of symoney of any man in England so that old wayes of Symoney which were used in the Ancients times as appeares by the Councells prohibiting them were but bungling to the cunning contrivance of the Symony engineeres in our times as if they cared not to go to Hell so it were not the neerest way bnt that they might fetch a far compasse round 1 He would tye the Clarke to give him a Bond of so much money to resigne at within 8. or 10. moneths after institution and induction the forfeiture of which Bond was his money for the living 2 He would take a Lease of a Parsonage under value for three yeares and so gaine his wished for summe in so much that he was called the Parsons Tenant being asked how he thought to be saved he answered he hoped his Landlords would pray for him and being asked whether he was not afraid of a curse upon his Estate from Church livings so sacrilegiously obtained he answered that he thought that Church goods blessed him for said he a little that a man hath of a righteous mans is better then if he had all the riches of the ungodly and withall he added that if the Clergy could in conscience allow money for their benefices he could in conscience receive it c. He was observed very successefull insinuating with the master of the Court of Wards and Liveries in so much as William of Nassan that popular Prince of Aurange is said to wine a Subject from the King of Spain to his own party every time he put off his Hat so it was said that as often as Audley put off his Hat to the master of the Court of Wards and Liveries he gained a young Heir It 's discoursed of him though I do not beleive it that he joyned with another in all causes in the Court of Wards and Liveries that one should be for the Plaintiffe
whom charity presumed alwayes injured the other for the Defendant who was to be pittyed as compelled to Law with this condition to restore the money to the party against whom the cause went to give him his due he was a good advocate for he would not only hear but examine his client and pinch his cause where he found it was foundred for he observed that many clients in telling their case rather plead then relate it so that the Advocate heareth not the true state of it till opened by the adverse party those men who understood more then all before the client hath told halfe runne without their errand and will returne without their answer if the matter were doubtfull he would only warrant his own diligence yet some keep an assurance office in the Chamber and will warrant any cause brought unto them as knowing that if they fail they loose nothing but what was lost long since their credit when his name was up his industry was not down for he said he could not live by his credit but his labour there was an Heir belonged to the Court of Wards about whose Lands this was a controversie where his Lands lay saith Audley if you cannot find his Lands in the Country how can we find them here A Lord borrowing money of our Audley when he was of the Court of Wards finds him very exacting So said he What do not you intend to use a Conscience Ye● said he I intend hereafter to use it why Sir we Monied-men must ballance Accounts if you do not pay me you Cheat me but if you do then I Cheat your Lordship In his place he kept Servants long being asked the Reason I keep them awhile because I have need of them and I will keep them awhile because they have need of me Bnt indeed he knew that there was nothing better than an old Servant as who had made his Masters Interest his own with whom he would live and dye and as one who understood his Masters business by long acquaintance and experience He had once fallen out with a Gentleman who shewed him some B●gs he would spend against him he asked Whether they had any bottom Yes said the Gentleman Nay then I care not for here I have a constant Spring and I cannot spend in other Courts more than I gain in this Court During his continuance in his Office at the Wards he would complain that there were so many Knights who were so poor Nay said a Gentleman of a free Speech and Behaviour I hope you Mr. Audley will build Almes-houses for all these poor Knights He perswaded a Gentleman to enclose some Ground with Posts and Rails and as he was casting up the Charge what it would come to a Familiar standing by said upon the sudden Come Mr. Audley methinks you do not go the cheapest way to work Why said he In truth Mr. Audley said the Gentleman Count you but 〈◊〉 the Posts and the poor People of the Countrey will find R●●●ing In the Court of Wards he watched the Incumbrances that lay upon the Estates that came thither and he undertook them complying with the Necessities of the Owners insomuch that he had at one time an Hundred and Fourteen Mortgages Statutes and Judgments An ingenious man saying of him That his Papers would make a good Map of England and he would say The Gentlemen of England were great Vsurers for they turned all their Estates into Obligations It was his usual Observation in his business That the next and nearest way is commonly the foulest and that if a man will go the fairest way he must go somewhat about There was a common Talk that the King was poor and necessitous and many Projects were thought on to supply Nay saith Audley let us help this King to some good Office for all his Officers were very nigh There was some Proposal to the old man to buy a more honourable though a less profitable place than his own Why saith Audley Saith his Friend That as all this while he had grown in Bredth now you must needs grow in Heighth or else you would be a Monster Truly said Audley I am loth to rise higher for I fore-see my Fall which happened accordingly just before the late War when the Court of Wards was put down whereby with other Accidents he lost above an Hundred thousand Pounds He would say That his ordinary Losses were as the shaving of his Beard which would grow the faster thereby The losing of this place was like the losing of a Member which was irrecoverable About that time he would needs be discoursing of the Vanity and Trouble of this World and of his Intention to retire to a private Life whereupon a merry Friend of his told him a Story of an old Rat That would needs leave the World and therewith acquainted the young Rats that he would retire into his Hole and spend his dayes solitarily and would enjoy no more Comfort Commanding them upon his High Displeasure not to come in unto him In Obedience to his Command they forbear two or three dayes at last one was more hardy than the rest incited some of his Fellowes to go in with him and he would venture to see how his Father did for he might be dead They accordingly went in and found the old Rat sitting in the midst of a rich Parmezan Cheefe gnawing with all its Might He encouraged them underhand and would solemnly say of them openly That they were Horse-leeches that only sucked the corrupted blood of the Law He trades only in Quirks and Tricks his High-way is in By-paths and he loveth a Cavil better than an Argument an Evasion than an Answer He had this property of an honest man That his Word was as good as his Bond or he could pick the Lock of the strongest Conveyance or creep out at the Lattice of a word therefore he counted to enter common with other as good as his own several for he would so vex his Partners That they had rather forego their Right than undergo a Suit with him he would fall in usually with those Persons that he saw fell out SECT VII How he entered himself of the Temple FInding House rent pretty smart in the City and the inconvenience of Ingresse and Egresse and dependance upon other people considerable he contrives to have a Chamber in the Temple in a bargain he bought where he might have Law at his command which he had so much occasion to use that in his old age when a man undertook to follow his business you may said he but let me said he have some six or seven Suits for my recreation he would keep company with the Benchers and other Gentlemen at their fires where when it was proposed that they should Club for Wine or Ale and Tobacco he would say Gentlemen I will go along with you as far as a penny goeth when they reply'd what can a penny do he would say more then you imagine