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A68132 The discouery of a new world or A description of the South Indies Hetherto vnknowne by an English Mercury.; Mundus alter et idem. English Hall, Joseph, 1574-1656.; Gentili, Alberico, 1552-1608.; Healey, John, d. 1610. 1613 (1613) STC 12686.3; ESTC S103684 102,841 283

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nation he would sweare as one did once of Paris that the whole world came to trade thether I am not ignorant of the number of the people that are imagined to be in all Europe take it therefore as from the Historiographers and not from mee Italy is said to conteine 9000000 more or lesse Spaine a number somewhat lesser England 3000000 the Low Countries as manie both the Germanies 15000000 France as many Sicilia 130000 Wee know also what they that vse to amplifie vpon all things say of the number of the inhabitants of China that they do amount vnto ●0000000 That countrie paralelld with the whole country of Fooliana is rather an vnhabitable desert thē a peopled nation it lieth iust vnder the Antarctike pole as the Pigmey-land lieth vnder the Articke and hence doe I gather as any man else may that the extremity of cold in both these opposed regions is cause both of the Pigmees littlenesse and the Foolianders blockishnesse ● nature so well gracing hir selfe by effecting the defect of body in one place and counterpeysing it with as great a defect of witte in another To confirme this doe we not see that such as inhabite the temperate Zones are generally perfect both in body mind But let this be remooued vnto the cloisters of the Philosophers I must proceed with my purpose Fooliana on the South butteth vpon Tenter-belly on the East vpon Shee-landt and the farthest corner of Thriuingois and finally on the West vpon Theeues-wijck The parts of Fooliana the peoples conditions in generall CHAP. 2. FOoliana the great is diuided into fiue lesser Fooliana's as namely there is Fooliana the fickle in the Easterne frontires Fooliana the craggie iust vnder the Pole Fooliana the fatte towards the South-west Fooliana the fond betweene both and Fooliana the deuoute towards the West Now the inhabitants of all these fiue are generally tall of body for all the vehemencie of the cold climate wherein they liue their haire a pale flaxen their heads like sugar-loues their lipps bigg like a Moores and their eare● thick and spacious But their conditions do not keepe all one forme some things they haue generally in them all and they are these what euer stranger arriue amongst them vnlesse he light in Fooliana the craggie they presently entertaine him with all the pleasures that their towne-house table can by any means affoord Come wee to any of them all with a dust-licking congee some three or foure vostra Signioria's Spaniard like and either commend his good face his new coate his fine hand his faire house or season but his affections with an admiring applause and this your obsequiousnesse shall purchase you an hoste whose curtesie will imagine nothing too deare for you good words faire promises are all the moneys that this nation vseth yet they haue great store of gold which they barter away for feathers bells timbrells and garlands happy hee that hath the best store of such commodities to vtter at these Ports The inhabitants are of a hard constitution going bare-brested thin attired in the depth of winter to take ayre the better marry in the heate of summer they were rugge gownes and cloakes aboue that to keep out heate the better yet they haue some Philosophotericall professors amongst them that will go almost naked in midst of winter in contempt of the colde and their reason is this that seeing all creatures besides man can bee content with haire and hide onely why should not man that is made maister to them all make shift to breake through all the battalions of colde being armed onely with his shirt of nature his skin I promise you a strong sensible argument You shall neuer take any of them solitary for they doe continually talke and contend in argument with them-selues when they are alone and in game you shall haue them fall terribly out sometimes with themselues onely one word prouoking him to teares another immediatly procuring laughter the person being all this while single by himselfe They haue also certaine sects of people generally called Fool-osophers amongst them and these haue the same credit there that the Bonzoes haue in China I haue well neere forgotten their seuerall orders some of them run vpō my tongues end and I thinke I am not sure that there was one sort called Browne-backs and another called Clunches besides as I remember there are the Quadricornes the Barly-faces the Greenegeese the societies of Saint Patch del Culo Saint Gynny come home at noone many more that are far frō my remembrance all these giue their own allowances vnto others and begge for scraps themselues wandring through that verges of Fooliana where they finde a stone with any picture vpon it be it what it will downe they go vpon all foure with curtsies and cringes 't is more thē strange to obserue them gold is ready change with them for led prouided it haue a taile of parchmēt at the end of it Tapers and noone day meete ordinarily at euery dinner time amongst them To eate flesh is altogether vnlawfull for them but for fish take your gorge full gratis and neuer breake statute for it I le bee your warrant It is a sinne inpardonable for some of them to touch gold or siluer with their bare hands as it is also their generall custome scarcely to salute any man yet may they neither omitte crosse nor carued statue without a religious duck They whip them-selues cruelly the Spartans boyes scourging was but a flye blowing vnto this of theirs first because no man but themselues will vndergoe sore lashes and secondly because in the obedient times they had a tradition giuen them that calues bloud was a pleasing sacrifice to their gods nosthrils Their crownes are shauen eyther to put the world in minde that all men are borne bald or for auoyding heate of the head or else least the haire growing betwixt heauen and the braine should bee any hindrance to the minde in her celestiall meditation Onely two things in my simple iudgement they are iustly to be accounted too wittie in first in that they bring the people into such a fooles paradice that they fetch all the fruits of other mens labours into their platters whilest themselues sitte at ease in their cells and secondly in that they can so cunningly auoide the bearing of their crosses at home by getting grasse for their stallions abroad and by keeping their foles at other mens mangers There is witte in this beleeue me If any of these monasticall men be sick the couent neuer ceaseth weeping till he either goe for vp or take a longer day Phisick hee must haue none yet when they are in their pangs of death their foolosophers anoint them with oyle They measure not ones wisdome by his silence for so may one of Iohn of Paules Church-yeards blocks prooue wiser then he himselfe but by the choise composition and deliuerance of good
Denis wherein the soules of such as either liued too soberly or killed themselues desperately are purified by fire and there they burne vntill some of their liuing friends go in Pilgrimage to Chappell Ardent for a bottle of St. Borachios water powring that vpon their tombe they are freed I smiled at this and thought now surely I haue found the originall of Purgatorie let Abbat Odilo and his Monkes of Corunna tell mee neuer so many tales of mount Aetna and many good morrows 't is here or 't is no where Well at length we came a shore and found it a pretty sweete towne in truth to giue it the due marry it was both paued with bottles and roofed with letherne bougets I doe not remember I saw any attificer in all the towne but letherne Iack-makers and taylors for Bottle-cases so that now I saw what vtterance the Eat-alls had for their hides The reason is the men of this towne and country vse no pure wine as the other Drink-alls doe but certaine distilled waters mixt with the strongest grape they can get which are so forcibly hott that the brittle glasse cannot hold them and therefore they are driuen to fortifie their bottles with letherne Ierkins riuerted together with pitch and rosen The citizens are fiery of face and cholericke of condition enuious suspicious paralitique and of a staggering manner of pace in their going but that which is most terrible of all they drinke and they breath nothing but meere flames As much cold water or scarr-gut as one of vs will drinke so much fire will one of them take that a man would verily imagine when hee saw them that they were so many fire-drakes or Saint Georges dragons I was in danger of water before but now I feared nothing but that I should be stifled with fire So that I left my companion in his orisons vnto Bacchus I loued him well but I loued my selfe better the very next morning I got me out of this Vulcans shop for so it was and a very Cyclops forge rather then a Citie of Bacchus Now being vpon my way I began to resolue with my selfe to passe by the verges of Lecheritania back againe and so to see some-what of the fashions of the Hop-sackers the third countie of Drink-allia but iust as I was plodding on with this thought in my head rushes mee forth an Ambush of armed Sheelandresses you heard of Shee-landt before besette mee tooke mee and carryed mee prisoner the more vnfortunate I a long and toylesome iourney euen to the chiefe cittie of the land called Gossipingoa I would not haue the reader take any vnkindnesse at my hands for omitting the rest of Drink-allia for as my Pilgrim told me it is the basest part of the land this countie of Hop-sack and but that it is more beast-like different in nothing from the others which you heard described before Finis lib. 1. The second Booke The description of Shee-landt or Womandeçoia Of the situation and the parts thereof CHAP. 1. THE new discouered Womandeçoia which some mistaking both name and nation call Wingandecoia make it a part of Virginia otherwise called Shee-landt lieth in that part of the Southerne continent which our Geographers of Europe called Psytacorum Regio the land of Parrots On the North side it boundeth vpon Letcheritania a nation that is a great enemy to it on the South vpon Thriuingois on the East vpon the two Fooliana's the Fickle and the Fatte The soile thereof is very fruitfull but badly husbanded It is diuided into many Prouinces both large and ritch yet all of seuerall conditions habites and languages The principall of them are these Tattlingen Scoldonna Blubberick Gigglot-angir the high and the lowe Cockatrixia Shrewes-bourg and Blackswanstack otherwise called Modestiana Not farre from these is also an Iland called I le Hermaphrodite or more properly Double-sex Many of these Prouinces did I passe through sore against my will I le bee sworne But to speake the truth Tattlingen is the best country of all the rest hath many faire cities in it as Pratlingople Tales-borne Lyps-wagg through the last of which there runneth a great riuer called Slauer which some-times will ouer-flow the bankes and drowne all the lower part of the country which they call Chinn-dale but the countrimen haue now deuised very strong rampires of bones and bend lether to keepe it from breaking out any more but when they list to let it out a little now then for scouring of the channell But of all the citties of Tattlingen or of all Shee-landt Gossipingoa is the principall Thether was I brought and deteined a great deale longer then stood with my good liking I will for passing away a little time vntill the Capon bee enough we haue nothing else to do discourse the whole progresse of their dealing with mee here and then I le goe on with the conditions of this new nation How the Gossipingoesses vsed the Author of this discouerie CHAP. 2. AS soone as these cruell conqueresses had taken mee vpon the borders of Lecheritania they brought mee away to their chiefe city so to the court told a bell and presently all the inhabitants came flocking thether in a trice began to prie more narrowly vpon mee who stood bound sure enough god wot for offering them any false measure At length one of the rout their Captainesse it seemed shee was gaue a signe to the rest to be silent as she had need and then bespake the company thus What or of whence this fellow is I doe not know onely wee tooke him in the confines of yonder damned country Letcheritania and seeing they haue offered vs so much iniury I hold it very fitte now if it bee not too late to begin to take reuenge of them and first with this prisoner Now she hauing made an end I got leaue with much a doe for noise to speake so declared my nation and the cause of my wandring as well as I could and told her Womanship that for my part I had not any acquaintance at all in Letcheritania I was one that wished her Madam-hood and all hir sex all the good I could and that it would derogate much from her nature clemencie and from the honor of her iust gouernment to condemne an Innocent pilgrim and one that had not offended without hearing of his cause Well these good words I can tel yee wrought so prettily well that the poore yong wenshes began many of them to weepe yet the old countesses were not so much ouer-swaied by mine oration but that I must to prison to a great house in the market place called Cold and comfortlesse vntill my country and cause of trauell were truely manifested vnto the Shee-counsell Well to warde I went and but that my countries name the true Paradice of women pleaded for mee I had neuer come home aliue for all the Lecheritanians that they take they either faire hange vp or
this language when they heare it spoken They call the earth Silo. The soule Adek Al thing within the skin Chohos The inner part of the midriff Coostrum Aquality borne with the body Relloleum A thing naturall Cherionium Salt Al and Malek The earths vapor Leffas The waters mouing Lorindt Wilde hony Tereniabin The euill fumes of the elements Realgar A mandrake Aroph A male Cony Ircub A beginning Ilech A thinke supernaturall Iesadoal An vnguent Oppodeltoch Vineger Xisinium Star-slime Nostoch Iupiter Cydar Successiue generation Dordo An vncertaine presage Erodinium A certaine one Essodinium Pustules Bothor Lame Artetiscus Crooke-backed Nasda An amulet against the plague Xenechtū But I wondered much more at the names of their mineralls and spirits for they call brimstone Chibur Alcubrith Kibrit and Alchur Quicksiluer Sibar plissadā azoth vnquasi Vnfined lime Wismadt The Philosophers salt Alembrot Mercury precipitate Diatessadelton A mettall like Iron Bobolt Iron Edir Mercury Missader Zaibar Minerall gold Chifir Fido. Copper Maelibeum The rust of copper Almizadir Vitriol Colcohar A compound of corall and the lobster Dubelcolep And now come the spirits names with whom they are wondrously familiar Euestrum Is the good Genius Xeniphidei Good spirits that reueale secret things to man Trifertes Spirits of the fire Caballi Goblins Trarames Apparitions Operinethiolin Minerall spirits Gamahaea An image impressed in the Phantasie Sylphes Ayry spirits Paracelsus was prouost of the colledge who inuented thē this strange language But indeed I am not sure whether this tongue continuestill amongst them or hath by this time giuen place to some language of the later edition How-soeuer it bee I haue done my duty in warning you of it before hand Of Fooliana the Craggye CHAP. 4. FOoliana the Craggy lieth iust vnder the pole the farthest of all the Land Southward it is a Mountaynous stony and eternally frosty country lying in an ayre extreamely cold and as extreamely dry Here there is an Iron Rock iust like that Rocke of Lode-stone which the Geographers say is vnder the North pole and this is the reason why the compasse af●er you are past the Epinoctiall declines towards the South the cause whereof no Geographer or Marriner could euer as yet declare This land is diuided into two dutchies rather spacious then fertile commonly called Solitary and the sad Cholerik-oye Of the Duke and inhabitants of Solitaria the sad Sect. 2. THE Duke of Solitaria is generally called by the name of Grumble-doro the Great a testy and seuere man whose subiects are as like in conditions vnto him as they are vnlike to all the rest of the other Foolianders Hee hath a huge spacious pallace called Hearts-griefe-Court built all of Ebonye and Iet in a most magnificent kinde of structure Ouer the portch are these words enchased in Corall Merentum locus est procul hinc discedite laeti This is the place where sorrow dwels and care Fly far far hence all you that mirthfull are The people of this nation are generally al haire-be growne leane slouenly swarty complexioned rough headded sternely visaged and heauy eyed fixing their lookes as in amazement and seldome mouing their ey-bals their optike organs stand far into their heads making them looke like so many hollow-eyed sculls Here it is in vaine to looke either for citty or village they dwell euery man in a place far from other as Hares choose their seates and professe a kinde of life most truly Heremiticall partly because they are of too suspicious and fearefull a nature to dwell in companie partly because the Duke hath expresly forbidden all men to build any one house within the sight of another or within the distance of thus many miles from any habitation whatso-euer They seldome or neuer stirre forth a dores partly for the continuall darkenesse that couereth all this climate and partly for their owne and their Princes pleasures and when they doe goe abroad they doe very seldome salute any one they meet for this is one statute in their lawes Let no man stirre abroad but vpon necessity nor salute any man hee meetes but vpon Thursdaies Goe to any of their houses and knocke at the dore you shall stand a good while to coole your toes and at last bee sent away with a snappish answere for they are the most insociable creatures vnder the cope of heauen But how doe they spend their time thinke you Faith in imagining framing fictions to themselues of things neuer done nor neuer likely to bee done in beleeuing these their fictions and in following these beleefes This is the reason why they abhorre company and hate to bee interrupted in their ayrie castle buildings You shall haue one of them directly perswaded that hee is dead and lying all along vnder the stoole like a dead carcasse If any one come to question him hee flieth in his face with most violent furie supposing him some Necromancer that hath called his soule backe againe from the dead by his magicall enchantments and from that time forwards he wanders all about the country like a Ghost imagining himselfe hence-forth wholy inuisible but if any of his fellowes take him and binde him hee forth-with deemes him a fury sent from Pluto to fetch back the soule that lately brake away from hel and now is he in the most pitiful taking that euer was man imagining his house which he held to be but his graue before to be a direct hel to him now Another is of opinion that he is become a Mole and lieth in a caue vnder ground hunting for wormes and turning vp the earth with a pike vpon his nose prouided iust for the purpose if any one follow him and giue him but a little pricke hee presently beleeueth himselfe taken by the Mole-catcher and with miserable cries prepares himselfe to bee hung vp on the hedge A third holds himself to be Atlas the worlds supporter and so standeth immoueably still now and then fetching a sigh or two sometimes lifting vp his shoulder and sometimes shrinking it downe-wards now when hee hath swet a little with this excessiue toile if any one come and thrust him from his station he presently falls flatte downe on his face with roares and cries expecting euery moment when the skies should fall vpon him and railing at the wickednesse of man that had so little respect of his owne preseruation and the safety of the whole world Another auowes himselfe to bee Megaera one of the furies affrighteth the passengers with terrible gestures shaking his haire which he thinkes is nothing but snakes hissing and running at them that come by him with open mouth if hee catch a whelpe or a catte ô how hee will torture it and imagining it the soule of some sinner taketh great pleasure in the cries of the poore beast as it is said Aiax in his madnesse did by the Rammes Another beleeues his nose to be grown of such a size as Cyngar did in Cocaius he gets