Selected quad for the lemma: cause_n
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B23348
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The harangues or speeches of several famous mountebanks in town and country
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D. G.
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1700
(1700)
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Wing G7
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23,561
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76
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Hair from her deriv'd to Hellen and at the Sack of Troy unfortunately lost till now in this our Age it was as happily recovered by a studious Antiquary out of some Ruins of Asia who sent a Moiety of it to the Court of France but much sophisticated the rest at this present remains with me extracted to a Quintescence so that wherever it but touches in Youth it perpetually preserves in Age restores the Complexion sets your Teeth as firm as a Wall makes them white as Ivory that were as black as Jet and with the Addition of a most wonderful Bath of my own Preparation it will tinct a grey Hair a pure Auburn and make it grow so make you cast your old harsh Skin for one as fresh and smooth as Lada's and so supple and quicken your Joints and Nerves as but seldom using it you shall ever enjoy your Juvenal Activities Gusto's and total Abilities to the Admiration of all that formerly knew you Many other rare Effects there are of this Powder and Bath too tedious to reckon in this Place but whosoever has a Mind to try them if they please to repair to me at my Lodgings shall be more particularly informed only this I shall add at this present This Powder has likewise a wonderful Variety of Amorous Effects belonging to it which are not here to be enumerated and for my rare Oil though I impart to the Rich for Money I often Cure the Poor for God's sake And so God preserve his most Catholick Majesty The HARANGUE of the Famous SCOTO of Mantuano Most noble Gout and my worthy Patrons IT may seem strange that I your Scoto Mantuano who was ever wont to fix my Bank in Face of the publick Piazza near the shelter of the Portico to the Procuratia should now after eight Months Absence from this illustrious City of Venice humbly retire my self into an obscure Nook of the Piazza Let me tell you I am not as your Lombard Proverb saith cold on my Feet or content to part with my Commodities at a cheaper rate than I accustomed look not for it Nor that the calumnious Reports of that impudent Detractor and Shame to our Profession Alessandro Buttone I mean who gave out in publick I was condemn'd a' Sforzato to the Galleys for poisoning the Cardinal Bembo's Cook hath at all attacked much less dejected me No no worthy Gentlemen to tell you true I cannot endure to see the Rabble of these Ground Ciarlitani that spread their Cloaks on the Pavement as if they meant to do Feats of Activity and then come in lamely with their mouldy Tales out of Boccacio like stale Tabarine the Fabulist Some of them discoursing their Travels and of their tedious Captivity in the Turks Galleys when indeed were the Truth known they were the Christian Galleys where very temperately they eat Bread and drunk Water as a wholsome Penance enjoin'd them by their Confessors for base Pilferies These Turdy facy nasty petty lousy farcical Rogues with one poor Groat's Worth of unprepar'd Antimony finely wrapp'd up in several Scartoccio's are able very well to kill their twenty a Week and play yet these meager-starv'd Spirits who have half stopp'd the Organs of their Minds with earthy Oppilations want not their Favourers among your shrivel'd sallad-eating Artizans who are overjoy'd that they may have their Half-perth of Physick though it purge 'em into another World it makes no matter Well let 'em go And Gentlemen honourable Gentlemen know that for this Time our Bank being thus remov'd from the Clamours of the Canaglia shall be the Scene of Pleasure and Delight For I have nothing to sell little or nothing to sell I protest I and my six Servants are not able to make of this precious Liquor so fast as it is fetch'd away from my Lodging by Gentlemen of your City Strangers of the Terrafirma worshipful Merchants ay and Senators too who ever since my arrival have detained me to their Uses by their splendidous Liberalities and worthily For what avails your rich Man to have his Magazines stuft with Moscadelly or of the purest grape when his Physicians prescribe him on Pain of Death to drink nothing but Water cocted with Aniseeds O health health the Blessing of the Rich the Riches of the Poor who can buy thee at too dear a Rate since there is no enjoying this World without thee Be not then so sparing of your Purses honourable Gentlemen as to abridge the natural Course of Life For when a humid Flux or Catarrh by the Mutability of Air falls from your Head into an Arm or Shoulder or any other Part take you a Ducat or your Cecchine of Gold and apply to the Place affected see what good Effect it can work No no 't is this blessed Unguento this rare Extraction that hath only Power to disperse all malignant Humours that proceed either of hot cold moist or windy Causes To fortify the most indigest and crude Stomach ay were it of one that through extream Weakness vomited Blood applying only a warm Napkin to the Place after the Unction and Fricace for the Vertigine in the Head putting but a Drop into your Nostrils likewise behind the Ears a most sovereign and approved Remedy The Malcaduco Cramps Convulsions Paralysies Epilepsies Tremor-Cordia retired Nerves ill Vapours of the Spleen Stopping of the Liver the Stone the Strangury Hernia Ventosa Iliaca Passio stops a Dysenteria immediately easeth the Torsion of the small Guts and cures Melancholia Hypocondriaca being taken and applyed according to my printed Receipt Pointing to his Bill and his Glass For this is the Physician this the Medicine this Counsels this Cures this gives the Direction this works the Effect And in sum both together may be term'd an abstract of the Theorick and Practick in the Aesculapian Art 'T will cost you eight Crowns And Zan Fritada prithee sing a Verse extempore in Honour of it SONG HAD old Hippocrates or Galen That to their Books put Med'cines all in But known this Secret they had never Of which they will be guilty ever Been murderers of so much Paper Or wasted many a hurtless taper No Indian Drug had e're been famed Tobacco Sassafras not named No yet of Guacum one small stick Sir Nor Raymund Lullies great Elixir Nor had been known the Danish Gonswart Or Paracelsus with his long Sword No more Gentlemen if I had but Time to discourse to you the miraculous Effects of this my Oil sirnamed Oglio del Scoto with the countless Catalogue of those I have cured of the aforesaid and many more Diseases the Patents and Privileges of all the Princes and Commonwealths of Christendom or but the Depositions of those that appear'd on my Part before the Signiory of the Sanitâ— and most learned College of Physicians where I was authorized upon Notice taken of the admirable Virtues of my Medicaments and mine own Excellency in Matter of rare and unknown Secrets not only to disperse them publickly in