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cause_n cold_a hot_a moist_a 1,558 5 9.6254 5 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
B01792 A broad-side against coffee; or, the marriage of the Turk 1672 (1672) Wing B4830; Interim Tract Supplement Guide C.20.f.2[376] 1,073 1

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A Broad-side against COFFEE Or the Marriage of the Turk COFFEE a kind of Turkish Renegade Has late a match with Christian water made At first between them happen'd a Demur Yet joyn'd they were but not without great stir For both so cold were and so faintly met The Turkish Hymen in his Turbant swet Coffee was cold as Earth Water as Thames And stood in need of recommending Flames For each of them steers a contrary course And of themselves they sue out a Divorce Coffee so brown as berry does appear Too swarthy for a Nymph so fair so clear And yet his sails he did for England hoist Though cold and dry to court the cold and moist If there be ought we can as love admit 'T is a hot love and lasteth but a fit For this indeed the cause is of their stay Newcastle's bowels warmer are than they The melting Nymph distills her self to do 't Whilst the Slave Coffee must be beaten to 't Incorporate him close as close may be Pause but a while and he is none of he Which for a truth and not a story tells No Faith is to be kept with Infidels Sure he suspects and shuns her as a Whore And loves and kills like the Venetian Moor Bold Asian Brat with speed our confines flee Water though common is too good for thee Sure Coffee's vext he has the breeches lost For she 's above and he lies undermost What shall I add but this and sure 't is right The Groom is heavy cause the Bride is light This canting Coffee has his Crew enricht And both the Water and the Men bewicht A Coachman was the first here Coffee made And ever since the rest drive on the trade Me no good Engalash and sure enough He plaid the Quack to salve his Stygian stuff Ver boon for de stomach de Cough de Ptisick And I believe him for it looks like Physick Coffee a crust is charkt into a coal The smell and taste of the Mock China bowl Where huff and puff they labor out their lungs Lest Dives like they should bewail their tongues And yet they tell ye that it will not burn Though on the Jury Blisters you return Whose furious heat does make the water rise And still through the Alembicks of your eyes Dread and desire ye fall to 't snap by snap As hungry Dogs do scalding porrige lap But to cure Drunkards it has got great Fame Posset or Porrige will 't not do the same Consusion huddles all into one Scene Like Noah's Ark the clean and the unclean But now alas the Drench has credit got And he 's no Gentleman that drinks it not That such a Dwarf should rise to such a stature But Custom is but a remove from Nature A little Dish and a large Coffee-house What is it but a Mountain and a Mouse From Bawdy-houses differs thus your hap They give their tails you give their tongues a clap Mens humana novitatis avidissima London Printed for J. L. Anno Dom. 1672.