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A10706 The Irish hubbub, or, The English hue and crie briefly pursuing the base conditions, and most notorious offences of the vile, vaine, and wicked age, no lesse smarting then tickling : a merriment whereby to make the wise to laugh, and fooles to be angry / by Barnaby Rich ... Rich, Barnabe, 1540?-1617. 1618 (1618) STC 20989.7; ESTC S123522 50,488 68

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openly reprehended for his folly was likewise admonished to beware of Gods iudgements that doth neuer faile to attend on those new Inuenters of vanities that doth not onely addict themselues vnto monstrous pride but by their abhominable example doth induce others to doe the like And as it was presaged so it came to passe for this Gentle-man vpon some occasion very shortly after being in France was there brought to an vntimely death and that by an extraordinarie accident The other remaines at this houre a spectacle of Gods heauy displeasure Yet the open exclamation that was made by Turners wife at the houre of her death in the place where shee was executed cannot be hidden when before the whole multitude that were there present shee so bitterly protested against the vanitie of those yellow-starchtbands that her outcryes as it was thought had taken such impression in the hearts of her hearers that yellow starcht bands would haue beene ashamed for euer after to haue shewed themselues about the neckes either of men that were wise or of women that were honest but wee see our expectation hath failed vs for they beganne euen then to bee more generall then they were before I doe exceedingly admire these idle-headed young Gallants or ruffianly Roaring-Boyes how they can walke the streets with one of these base odious vgly beastly bands this new diuellish inuented fashion looking as though they had scaped from the Diuell in hell and there had scorched his band where euerie one wonders to see this ape of fashion and points at him for a foole in this lewd example Well honest Countrey-women I bring you good newes I wish you now to looke vnto your selues if euer you intend to bee rich now is the time You know Tobacco is in great trading but you shall be Marchants and only for egges for whereas one pipe of Tobacco will suffice three or foure men at once now ten or twenty egges will hardly suffice to starch one of these yellow bands A fashion that I thinke shortly will be as conuersant amongst Taylors Tapsters and Tinkers as now they haue brought Tobacco But a great Magistrate to disgrace it enioyned the Haugman of London to become one of that Fraternitie and to follow the fashion and the better to enable him he bestowed of him some beneuolence to pay for his laundry And who was now so briske with a yellow feather in his hat and a yellow starcht band about his necke walking in the streets of London as was master Hangman so that my young Masters that haue but sithence fallen into that Trimme they doe but imitate the Hangmans president the which how ridiculous a matter it is I will leaue to themselues to thinke on All that I haue endeauoured is but to make good what I haue formerly auowed That a Foole will not bee-brought to leaue his Bable neither for the shame of the world nor for the loue of vertue and of my conscience if there were yet some other Lobcoculus that to shew his dexterity of wit would leaue his yellow and betake himselfe into greene red tawny or to any other coloured manner of starching he should haue followers that would bring it into a fashion this is a true prouerb A yellow band and a greene wit So that as of these yellow starcht bands I thinke the like of Tobacco it was first brought into England by some man of little vertue and afterwards brought into custome by those of lesse wit But they say Tobacco is physicall it is medicinable it is precious for all manner of diseases and they doe attribute more vertue to their Tobacco then Bellarmine doth to his Pope They say it will make a fat man leane a leane man fat he that hath fill'd his paunch till it be ready to burst they say a pipe of Tobacco will make him to disgest hee that wants meat to fill his hungry belly a pipe of Tobacco is as good a bait as halfe a dozen of Horse bread for a Carriers horse it is like the Shoo-makers leather that if your boots be too strait hee tells you it will reatch if too wide hee tels you it will shrinke So Tobacco it is good for encrease it is good for decrease it is good to take before meat it is good to take after meat it is good to take betweene meales it is good in the morning it is good in the euening it is good at mid-day it is good at mid-night it is good at all times at all seasons in the summer in the winter in the heat in the cold in the spring in the fallt it is good for all complexions for all constitutions for old men for young men for all diseases proceeding either from hot causes from cold causes from drie causes from moist causes A man may take it as often as he list as much as he list as little as hee list at the change of the Moone at the full of the Moone at the waine of the Moone vnder euery Signe vnder euery Planer vnder euery Aspect vnder euery Climate Now if the soueraignty of Tobacco be such as these men would perswade either Physicians be Dolts that doe prescribe vs so many obseruations or these be notable Fooles that doe thus take it But the conceit that is holden of Tobacco how precious it is against the French pox may make some that doe feele themselues to be distempered to be the more enclining to it Some other againe that be old Fishmongers and loue to follow the game doe vse to fish those pooles where they know the pox are easily caught doe therefore take Tobacco to preuent perills But how vnwise art thou that doest know thy selfe to be free from that loathed sicknesse and wilt yet be sucking at the Tobacco-pipe that euery pockie companion hath be slauered before thee whom wisemen haue euer shonned to drinke withall in one cup But let them be as free from that disease as they list hee that is still sucking at the Tobacco-pipe must yet take the imputation vpon him that doth seeme with such diligence to seeke out the remedy that is vsed for the cure But I am not so madde to thinke that euery man that doth take Tobacco doth therefore take it because he feeles himselfe to be diseased for then if his Maiesty had an imployment but of a small company of men that were healthfull and sound they would hardly bee found out either in England or in Ireland But this I thinke that the greatest number doth take Tobacco more for matter of custome then for matter of maladie Yet one thing I haue noted marke it he that list the Tobacconist that is obseruatiue that prescribeth himselfe set times and houres to take his Tobacco at those times and houres by himselfe prefixed will sooner omit his praiers to God then not performe his owne prescribed ceremony in taking Tobacco Hee that should bring one of these to the Horse-market in Smithfield and there offer him