well nigh slipt for I began to thinke that these were Gods darlings at lest my selfe none of Gods beloued ones for the rod of God is not on them but neuer off from me Min. What meanes doe you vse to be preserued against the violence of this assault Con. I presently take sanctuary and so am safe I y Ps 73.17 goe into the Sanctuary of God and consult with his word and then I vnderstand their end I see a man may goe through a faire City to execution and contrariwise through a narrow stumbling lane to a feast or coronation I see well why it is that the wicked doe so prosper and fare so well for why doe men set vp their Oxen a-fatting is it not against the day of slaughter so the z Iob. 21.30 Wicked are reserued to the day of destruction they shall bee brought forth vnto the day of wrath the seruants of God are kept at hard commons but they haue their keeping of free cost the wicked which are strangers from the wombe and none of Gods houshold haue larger cates and farre better but they shall pay sweetly for it in the end when the reckoning comes so that all things considered I see small reason why I should heaw a stumbling-blocke out of the prosperity of the wicked to my owne ouerthrow Secondly I labour in time of affliction to spie out the loue of God shining vnto mee through some little peep-hole or other at length I finde that euen then I loue God heereby I discerne that hee loues mee for so he saith a Pro. 8.17 I loue them that loue mee and indeede his loue to mee is the cause of my loue to him so that it is impossible for mee to loue him in the time of my affliction but hee must needs loue mee much more Thirdly I consider that it is for want of wit in a childe to thinke that his father cannot abide him because when need is hee vseth the rod to correct him for they which are of discretion can tell that the father loues the child neuer the worse for all that but the better yea this very dealing of God towards mee is an euident token of his loue vnto mee for b Heb. 12.6.7 whom the Lord loueth hee chasteneth and scourgeth euery sonne whom hee receiueth if therefore wee endure chastening God dealeth with vs as with sonnes for what sonne is hee whom the father chasteneth not So that the Lord commeth to me with fire in the one hand water in the other the fire of affliction to melt out the drosse of my corruptions and the cooling water of comfort and assurance of his fauour to allay the heate thereof lest I should bee ouermolten with heauinesse and sorrow but indeed sometimes he holds this behind him that I see it not but I must not bee so vnwise as to thinke because I see it not therefore hee hath it not because I see not his loue or at least not so as I would that therefore he loues mee not farre bee it from mee so to thinke though I am too ready so to thinke in my distresse but it is my infirmity For as verily as he doth afflict mee and I feele it so certainly doth hee loue mee though I feele it not Fourthly I consider that this is the cup c Mat. 26.39 27.46 which Christ himselfe dranke of hee drank it off to the very bottome which made him cry out of the bitternesse of it My God my God why hast thou forsaken me whereas I doe but drinke a littie of the vppermost but seeing Christ my Sauiour hath begun to mee therein d Mat. 20.23 needs must I pledge him though it be but to kisse the cup which is also a cup of Gods owne tempreing and therefore very good and wholsome though not so toothsome hee knowes all the ingredients perfectly that go into it and there is not one drop or dram of bitter aloes in it more than hee sees must needs bee put in or else it would do vs no good which also is skilfully corrected and sweetely qualified with those heauenly sweets that farre surpasse the hony and the hony-combe as peace of conscience tranquilty of minde patience and ioy of each a dramme and the hope of heauen a maruelous sweet thing which it selfe alone mee thinks might well allay the tartnesse and sharpnesse of affliction this is my comfort in time of griefe my friend in time of neede my best Phisicke in time of sicknesse and present remedy against all maladies and I dare vndertake that one dramme of this well taken of a sicke man shall doe him more good at heart than twenty pounds-worth of the most precious Apothecaries stuffe O it is a most soueraigne restoratiue and happy is he that is neuer without some of it in his heart It is of such singular vse at all times and vpon all occasions Now seeing afflictions are thus sweetned to vs properlie to speake they deserue no worser name than bitter-sweets whether wee respect inward distresses or outward calamities truth indeed the Lord layes more vpon some than hee doth vpon others and more vpon vs at one time than he doth at an other hee sometimes strikes an heart-veyne when an other will not serue and that wee cannot bleede well at it with godly sorrow yet this I dare auouch hee neuer puts vs to more paine than needs must for our profit and benefit Fiftly I enter into serious meditation of the manifold good which commeth by affliction according to that of the holy Prophet e Psal 119.71 It is good for me that I haue been afflicted this is the physicke that God doth minister to his seruants and it is both purging phisicke and strengthning physicke for the former of these it pleases the Lord hereby sometimes to discouer and bring to our sight the disease of some sinne wherewith wee are infected whereof wee had taken no notice before and then to bring vs to humiliation for it so to worke the remoueall thereof sometimes hee doth hereby preuent some sinne whereto hee sees vs very subiect by purging out the ill humors of self loue couetousnesse pride lukewarmnesse which else in time would break forth into dangerous yea incurable diseases and thus he works a miracle vpon vs turning the serpent sinne into the rod of affliction as f Exod. 4.4 Moses his rod was turned alas how ready are wee to run out at randome after these earthlie things to set our affections too much vpon them and to be taken vp too much with them to grow not onely wanton but euen wilde with the things here below and how easie a matter is it for a man to lose both himselfe and heauen too in running vp and downe in the maze of this sinfull world which that we may not doe the Lord that good Sheepherd vseth his g Ps 23.4 rod and staffe when wee straggle too farre on the pleasant green pastures of worldly
gaines and pleasures hee fetcheth vs in againe then hee begins to hamper and shackle vs with sundry crosses to keepe vs better within compas to make vs minde home better and to make vs better husbands for our soules that so wee may thinke of him in time of aduersity who had almost forgotten him in time of prosperity sometimes hee sees that wee trust to the arme of flesh and leane too much to some outward meanes then by a crosse he takes it away that so wee might wholly and onely relie on him Manifold corruptions and much filth of sinne doe wee gather by walking in this dirty world the Lord doth vse the waters of affliction as a bath to cleanse purge vs from those corruptions in bringing vs thereby to a sight thereof and humiliation for the same in these the like respects well may affliction bee tearmed Gods purging physicke Sometimes he also vseth it for strengthning physick when as he doth afflict his seruants for their triall for the strengthning of their faith patience loue zeale holy desires c. for these and the like graces the more they are exercised the more they are confimed and the stronger they grow and euen inward afflictions of the minde serue greatly to these good ends O blessed rod of God that dost so much good Did I thinke the Lord loued mee not because his rod lay on mee oh how could I bee without it Surely it is as needfull for mee as my meat and drinke and much more needfull too * Hic vre his seca vt in aeternum pareas domine Aug. O scourge mee and launce me here O Lord that thou maiest spare mee for euermore hereafter Sixtly as touching outward calamities I haue learned at length a little wisedome by Gods word for the right demeaning of my selfe therein not to looke downeward on the rushing and roaring streames of miseries and troubles which run so swiftly vnder mee for then I should bee taken with a giddinesse in the head which would make mee thinke and speake an aduisedly of Gods dealing and my owne estate and so I should bee in hazard of being drowned and ouerwhelmed therein but this I doe I fasten my eies vpon the sure stay by which I am vpheld that is God all-sufficient and stedfastly behold his promise in the middest of all miseries thus I praise God I passe ouer many a dangerous deep h Ps 42.6 when one deepe calleth another or the noise of the water-spouts when one trouble comes on the necke of another I passe ouer or wade through safe sound Seuenthlie as I desire to prepare for affliction before it commeth so do I resolue in like manner aforehand to hold fast my assurance of the loue of God and so to beare it as comfortably as may bee when it shall come obseruing that it is the work of Sathan to make mee vtterly discomfortable in tribulation that heauen our country and holinesse the way thereto might both be brought out of credit by my meanes that others beholding my vncomfortablenes might bee discouraged from entring or proceeding in the happy way to life By the grace of God Sathan shall not make mee his scar-crow in the way to heauen to keep others out nay rather by my sweet and lightsome deportment of my selfe therein I will allure others what I may rather to choose the way of the crosse the way to the kingdome than for fear of the crosse to lose and forgoe the kingdome Min. It is a good resolution and surelie it is not for any ill-will that the Lord corrects his children whether with inward afflictions of minde or outward of bodie friends children goods good name or howsoeuer else his loue is neuer the lesse vnto them and he is neuer the further from them and though they greatly feare sometimes yet they haue no more cause to feare than the Disciples had when Christ came walking to them vpon the sea thinking that they had seen a spirit to whom our Sauiour answered i Math. 14 26.27 Bee of good cheere it is I bee not affraid euen so when the raging windes and blustering stormes of afflictions doe cause an earthquake in our hearts the Lord sends forth a calme quiet voyce to the comfort of his children It is I bee not affraid which all they may easilie heare that will but lay their eare to the word of God and listen thereunto for so hee speakes vnto them therein Now if there be any other matter that troubles your minde alledge it if you will for conclusion of all lest I bee also one of them that trouble you Con. Doubting proceeding from feare of death answered Why then if you thinke good wee will end with that that shall end our liues namely death I greatly feare sometimes that I am not as I should bee because I finde in my selfe such strugling w i th the thoghts of death and that I am so affraid yea and vnwilling to die Min. How do you to repell and ouercome this assault Con. First I consider that they which are truly in Christ by faith and liuing members of him may haue and haue all of them some feare of death for all that though it can do them no harm like as man that seeth the sting of a serpent plucked out before his eyes therefore knowes it can not hurt him yet hath some fearefulnesse in him to handle it and put it into his bosome because of that naturall enmitie and antipathie that is between him and it the sting of death is sinne which Christ hath pluckt out in being made sinne for vs and satisfying fully for it so that well may we say O death where is thy sting and yet we are affraid of the very lookes of death but more affraid to come nigh it because wee naturally hate death this therefore is no good reason to make mee thinke my selfe none of Christs because I haue some feare of death no more than it is to proue a man no man or reasonable creature because hee is loth to put a snake in his bosome when the sting is pluckt out Secondlie I take vp such meditations as may make mee better and more familliarly acquainted with death and may make mee better conceited of it and to take better liking to it as first that it is the common lot of k Heb. 9.27 all the sonnes of Adam none exempted no not the Worthies of the world and holie Patriarcks and should I then desire to bee exempted Death hath his warrant to take hold of euery sinner therefore none can bee spared for all haue sinned but before hee comes himselfe hee sends forth many summons to warne men to appeare at Court before God euery ache paine sicknes faintnesse wearinesse yea euery wrinkle or gray haire or dead coarse is deaths summons to warne vs appearance but because we are too regardlesse make too light hereof at length hee comes personally with a special Writ from the
off by sunne-set will not fit him down or lay himself to sleep but get on horse-backe and be riding onward on his way and he that hopes to liue long will not starue himselfe but vse the best diet for preseruing his life 4. It makes me fit my selfe by holinesse for that which I hope for namely the full fruition of the glorious ous presence of the perfectly-pure and holy God in heauen according to that of the Apostle Å¿ 1 Ioh. 3.3 Euery one that hath this hope in him purifieth himselfe euen as God is pure not vnlike to one who hoping to get accesse into the presence of the King with his petition doth addresse himselfe in all sutabe manner both in apparell behauiour and speech for the presence of his Soueraigne Min. It appeares your hope is found and good euen that t Rom. 5.4 which maketh not ashamed and the God of hope fill you therewith and grant that you may abound therein through the Holy Ghost But by what other signe doe you know that you shall bee saued Con. I finde in my heart a true loue of God now I haue learned out of the word that the Lord hath promised the crowne of life to them that loue him c. I make no question but hee will bee as good as his word who neuer failed therein since the world began therefore I know that the crowne of life is mine Min. All say they loue God and professe great friendship to him neuerthelesse most flatter him with their mouth and lye vnto him with their tongues for their heart is not right with him How know you then that you loue him in truth Con. 7. Notes of true loue of God Whereas there are three things in loue affection to the thing beloued a desire of coniunction with it and a well-pleasing contentment taken in the enioying of it all these I find in some measure in mee toward my God so that I know I loue him truly which I further proue by these notes First because I prize and estimate him aboue all worldly things yea mine owne life so that I can truely say with that blessed Martyr Ignatius Eus l. 2. c. 36. I esteeme no visible thing nor yet inuisible so that I may haue Christ u Phil. 3.8 yea doubtlesse I count all things but losse in comparison of him and do count them but dung that I may winne him Neither is this a mercenarie loue hired with the wages of reward for though there were no heauen O Lord I would loue thee but seeing there is a heauen I will account of it and labour to obtaine it yet still will I loue thee for thy goodnesse sake O Lord for thou thy selfe art reward enough though there were no more Secondly I am carefull and vnfainedly desirous to please the Lord in all things euen as we see that men are loth to crosse or displease those whom they entirely loue and affect Heerupon I giue my selfe to loue that which hee loueth and to hate that which he hateth * Ps 45.7 He loueth righteousnes and hateth wickednes and so doe I though not in equality for that is impossible yet in similitude and conformity for it is required and expected as the Prophet saith * Ps 9.10 They that loue the Lord hate euill thus I endeuour my selfe y 1 Ioh. 4.17 as God is euen so to bee in this worldr Thirdly a man may knowe his loue to any thing by the zeale and heat of affection whereby he is carried to that thing which hee loueth Thus euery man is transported and as it were eaten vp with one zeale or other some with the zeale of pleasure as Esau was who for a messe of pottage sould his birth-right some with the zeale of honour as Absalom was who for to gette a kingdome sought to draw bloud of his owne father some with the zeale of money as Iudas was who for his thirty peeces sold his Lord Sauiour By my zeale I know my loue to God for tho I bee not eaten vp with zeale as z Ps 69 9. Dauid was oh I would I were so too yet I feele it burning within mee as a Ier. 20.9 Ieremiah did my heart is hot within me and the fire kindled my zeale carrieth mee to God Fourthly I loue his b Ps 119.97 Qui diligit legem diligit regem word and sacraments prayer and all other holy exercises whereby as I haue gracious intercourse and heauenly conference with the blessed Trinity so in especiall with Christ my wel-beloued who therin causeth mee to heare his sweet voyce and to see his louely countenance for which cause I also loue the house of God so that I can no lesse heartily than merrily sing the note of the Prophet Dauid O Lord I haue loued the habitation of thine house and the place where thine honour dwelleth and another of the same O Lord of Hostes how amiable are thy tabernacles my soule longeth yea euen fainteth for the Courts of the Lord my heart and my flesh cryeth out for the liuing GOD. Fiftly I loue his c Mat. 10.40 messengers and embassadors the Preachers of his word which are sent vnto mee from God to treat about conclusions of peace beseeching mee in Christs stead to bee reconciled to God O how beautifull are the feete of him that bringeth these good tidings that publisheth peace that bringeth good tidings of good that publisheth saluation to me Sixtly I long for the comming of Christ not as though I could no longer beare for impatiencie the miseries of this life which are but light in comparison of the weight of glory but that I might bee married for euer vnto Christ my Loue in perfect ioy and harts delight being now but espoused onely to him and that I might be perfectly freed from all sinne whereby I grieue both him and my selfe and alwaies praise his name in heauen How long Lord how long thou hast d Re. 22.20 said Surely I come quickly Amen Euen so come Lord Iesus Min. Thus it appears that the loue of God will warrant a man as it doth you no les than heauen but what say you now of loue to Gods people may not that bee ranked among the euidences of your saluation Conuert Yes without doubt For The tenth signe of saluation taken out of 1 Ioh 3.14 heereby we know saith S. Iohn that he haue passed from death vnto life because we loue the brethren these doe I loue that is the children of God and such as are godly and these will I loue for euer knowing that loue is such a debt as I shall be alwaies owing and yet I must and will bee euer paying I will striue to be rather a creditour than a debtor heerin and will not only returne to the Saints of God the loue of loue the same measure that I receiue from them but euen vsury and aduantage of loue and I would to God there