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A12984 A Bartholmew fairing for parentes to bestow vpon their sonnes and daughters, and for one friend to giue vnto another: shevving that children are not to marie, without the consent of their parentes, in whose povver and choise it lieth to prouide wiues and husbandes for their sonnes and daughters. Wherin is sufficiently prooued, what in this point is the office of the fathers and in like maner declared the part and duty of all obedient children. By Iohn Stockvvood, minister and preacher of Tunbridge. Stockwood, John, d. 1610. 1589 (1589) STC 23277; ESTC S105880 52,324 112

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mothers then seruants are or can be vnder the power of their maisters by howe much next vnder God they do ovve their verie being vnto those that begat them vvhich they doe not vnto their maisters therefore is the band of their obedience greater and straighter vnto their fathers then is that of seruants vnto their maisters Here of it followeth that those vvhich are alike subiect vnto the gouernment of others are also alike debarred from the same freedoms liberties that otherwise if they were not thus subiect they might enioy but seruants and children are tied with a like and equall band of subiection insomuch that if in this behalfe ther be any ods it is in this that children owe more dutie vnto their fathers then seruantes vnto their maisters as was prooued a litle before they are therefore debarred from the same libertie and freedome whereof ensueth that if seruantes haue not this libertie without the leaue of their maisters to betake themselues vnto others no more may children without the authoritie of their parentes affiance and betroth themselues in mariage vnto others but seruants are by the lawes as the learned doe knowe and I speake of the lawes and seruants The lawes of elder times restrain seruants ●●o liberty at their owne pleasure to be take themselues to others without the leaue of their maisters not as they are with vs at this day but as they were in the more ancient and elder times restrained of this libertie to place themselues with others against the will of their maisters therefore children may not giue themselues in matrimonie vnto others without the consent of their progenitors And albeit that by the lawes of our own land nowe in force there bee as yet no prouiso made against the matching of seruants without the approbation and allowance of their maisters yet vnder the correction of others it seemeth vnto me great reason that where there are no parents euen in those places the seruants should take the direction of their godly maisters in this behalfe in vvhich my iudgement I am not singular but can if need be auouch mine assertion by the authoritie of the learned But what shall this neede when as the equitie here of may bee inferred of that which we read in the books of Moses where such as please with diligence to conferre the places Exod. 21. Leuit. 25. Deut. 15.12 they may easily find that such seruāte as were Ebrues though the time of their seruice was shorter then was theirs which were strangers and of other nations yet during the space of their yeares they had to serue in they were not to marie at their owne libertie but their maisters hand bare the chiefe stroke in this busines This course beeing obserued in the Ebrue seruants it will not as I take it be gain-said that seruants of other people and countries whose bondage in manie respects was far heauier were likewise depriued of this libertie of marrying during the time of their seruitude and thraldom without the appointment of their Lordes and maisters yet hereby is not meant to preiudicate or impeach much lesse to controlle the libertie of our lawes or law-makers in such cases as God hath left free vnto them but onely out of that which God himselfe set downe vnto his owne people in debarring seruants as seruants to make their owne choise in cases of mariage to prooue that children which are in as great or rather greater subiection vnto their fathers authority are likewise bound by as hard a band to tarie for the consent of their parentes in their contractes of matrimonie Thirdlie the great soueraintie The third reason taken frō the large iurildiction and power the which in ancient times hath bin permitted vnto parentes ouer their childrē the which custome albeit that it be not simply to to be allowed yet it proos ueth their for ueraintie in other matters to be wel per lourmed by their children without any inconuenience rule power that by the law of Moses was giuen vnto the Iewish fathers ouer their children and by the ordinances of the Romanes to the parents ouer their sonnes and daughters by vertue whereof the one in cases of necessitie might sel their children for bondslaues to releeue themselues and the other might kill them in reuenge of their owne priuate iniuries done vnto themselues or publique enormities offered vnto others albeit that of Moses may be thought to be permitted like as other thinges for a time in regard of the hardnesse of their heart and this of the Romanes deserue iustlie to bee condemned as barbarous cruell and sauage yet doe they both argue that if parents authoritie were in those times so large in thinges that seeme so hardlie to be digested that they had a far greater authoritie in those matters duties the which might be performed with more conscience and much lesse difficultie and danger namelie in bearing chiefest sway in the mariage of their children and in other causes of like dutifull obedience The fourth reason from the condition of goods vnto the power that the owners haue ouer the same To this may be added that the children are worthelie to be reckoned among the goodes and substance of their fathers and that by a more especiall right then any thing els the the which belongeth vnto their possession as those which are more neerlie linked and ioyned vnto them and which cost them more dearlie being flesh of their flesh and bone of their bone and without whom they had neuer bone so that they owe themselues whollie vnto them in all maner of obedience and dutifull affection and shall in seeking to betroth themselues at their owne pleasures not regarding to haue the good will and leaue of their parentes deale as preposterouslie and ouerthwattlie as if the goodes should goe about to dispose the owner and possessor of the same and not be disposed and ordered by those vnto whom the possession and propertie of the same doeth by right and equitie belong and appertaine for it standeth with great reason that the owner dispose of the goodes and not contrariwise the goodes of the owner which were in deed a thing verie absurd or contrarie to all reason Now if any shall doubt Children are the goodes of the parents whether that the children bee to be reckoned among the goodes of their parentes or no he seemeth to bee ignorant of that point the which the deuill himselfe well enough vnderstood as we may reade in the first of Iob where it is set downe that when God gaue him leaue to deale withal that Iob had he medleth with his sonnes and daughters as well as with his seruants and rest of his substance taking them also to be a portion of the same Wherefore euen in this that children are their fathers riches as it is the common saying they must not bestow themselues but must be bestowed of their parents whose goods they are And least any
wiues for the sonnes is by the commandement of God himselfe laid vpon the parentes Places of scripture proouing that parēts ought to prouide wiues husbāds for their sonnes and daughters Deut. 7.3 concerning which matter in the booke of Deuteronomy we read thus Neither shatt thou make martages with thē he speaketh of the seuen nations the which by the Iewes were vtterly to bee rooted out neither giuethy daughter vnto his son nor take his daughter vnto thy sonne Here God giueth an especial charge vnto al fathers among the Iewish natiō that at no hand they should place in mariage citheir their sonnes with the daughters of those nations or take of their sons to be husbands for their daughters the which precept had bin in vain if they had not had this power and authoritie ouer their children or if their sons and daughters had bene at their own libertie in these cases to haue made their owne choise for they might easilie haue replied that their children in these pointes were not to be at their command and the children might haue complained of the hard dealing of their fathers in debarring thē their right in making their owne matches if any such priuiledge had belonged vnto them but the fathers neither taking any exception against God to excuse themselues from this dutie nor the sonnes pleading that by this lawe their interest shoulde be impeached doth argue sufficientlie that it was the ordinarie course of that time for parentes to giue their children in mariage and that their children were wel content with their fathers doings in this behalfe It will here peraduenture be saide That God by making this law Obiection setteth not downe an order the which he would haue generally to be obserued of the parentes in all matches of their children yea euen with their owne people and nation but onelie directeth them what they should doe concerning mariage of their sonnes and daughters among those seuen accursed nations this also to preuent a mischiefe least that by making and ioyning any such affinitie they might be pulled and drawen away from the true worship and seruice of God vnto idolatrie and superstition I answere Answere that God when he gaue vnto them this commandement had indeed an especiall regard to meet with before hand this danger of hauing his people caried by such matches to run a whoring after strange Goddes but this notwithstāding prooueth not that the fathers libertie to place his children in wedlock was not general amōg the people of his own nation but that hee had this authoritie to restraine them onelie from marying with that wicked people for feare of spirituall infection and pollution for that they had this power ouer their children in prouiding the marriage euen within their own land and limits of their owne countrie it is most clearlie to be seene in the last chapiter of the booke of Iudges where the Israelites hauing geuen that great and fearfull ouerthrowe vnto their brethren the Beniamites for their maintainance of that most horrible outrage in defiling in verie shamefull and beastlie maner of the Leuites concubine bound themselues by a solemne oth and sware saying None of vs shal giue his daghter vnto the Bentamits to wife This oath for my part reseruing to others their contrarie iudgment I doe not in anie case allowe but condemne the same as rash and vnaduised the which trulie repenting themselues of their rashnes they might with farre better conscience haue broken then kept and I could alleadge many reasons to confirme mine opinion but that is not appertaining to this present argument neither yet any part of my purpose in this place nor at this time onely I bring it to shew that hereby it is manifest that they made no doubt of their libertie in disposing of their children in mariage nor of their readines to obey them in that behalfe for if they might not ouerrule them in this matter or their children had bin to make their owne choise they had bene worthy of double blame both in taking vpon them the placing of their daughters and also in binding thēselues with an oth for the due execution and performance of that thing The rashness of the Israli● taketh not a way their ri● in making choise for th● in their ma● ages the which they had no right to lay vpō them And howsoeuer it be that this place may be thought of some not of force suffiicient to warrant this authoritie of Parentes in making the choise for their sonnes and daughters in their marriages because the oath was taken vnaduisedlie albeit that their offending in one thing be not plea good inough to disfrauchize them of their freedome and libertie in an other thing yet if the cause had bene good it shall appeare by an other place that they might by oath haue bound themselues for the not giuing of their daughters in mariage whereby may bee gathered that the choise in these cases lay in the parentes and not in their children for herein they fault in this action not that they seeke to keepe their right and authoritie in prouiding for their children but in that they make an oath both rash and full of crueltie against their brethren Now that the choise was in parents of prouiding wiues husbands for their children and in such sort that they might in honest godlie matches bind themselues so to do it is certaine by that which we reade in the last chapiter of the booke of Nehemiah who caused manie of them that were returned from the captiuitie not onely to take an oath that they would not take wiues vnto their sonnes nor husbands vnto their daughters of the strange nations there specified but also made them to curse and ban themselues and to wish heauie iudgmentes and plagues of God to fall vpon them if they should doe the contrarie That the mater may be out of all doubt controuersie it shall not grieue me to sette downe the wordes as they lie in the text Nehem. 13.23.24 In those daies also saieth Nehemiah I saw Iewes that maried wiues of Ashdod of Ammon and of Moah And their childrē spake halfe in the speech of Ashdod and could not speake in the Iewes language and according to the language of the one people and of the other people Then I reprooued thē and cursed them and smote certaine of thē pulled of their hair and took an oth of thē by God ye shall not giue your daughters vnto their sonnes neither shall you take of their daughters vnto your sonnes nor for your selues Whosoeuer shall with him selfe weigh and consider of this most excellent and worthy man of his true godlinesse and zeale in religion of his great care forwardnes to build vp the citie and Temple of his faithfulnes in his gouernment and rule ouer the people committed to his charge he may not go about to offer vnto him this iniurie insomuch as once dreaming that a man of his holines
religion zeale wisdome and godlinesse would so much as make the very least motion of any vnlawful matter to his people much lesse enforce thē by oath to enter into such a course whereby they might easilie haue bin periured had they not in this case well knowen their fatherlie power ouer their children and bene perswaded of their tractable readines in this matter to bee ruled by them Such was the discipline of that time and in such awe stood dutifull children vnto their louing fathers in those daies that being therennto required by the magistrate they durst not onely pawne their credit but that which more is giue their oath and hazard their conscience vpon the assured confidence wheich they reposed in their childrens willingnes to betake betroth themselues vnto such yoke fellowes as they should appoint and make choise of for them in honest matrimonie to lead their liues withall Yet doe I not thinke the contrarie but that in those ages like as in our time there were many both sonnes and daughters which are like vnrulie coltes and vntamed heifars could not be brought vnto this passe nor yet be yoked within this bow but the sturdie frowardnes of some certaine is no disproofe of the dutifull obedience of the better sort neither was there anie more required of the fathers then that according vnto God his commandement so far as in them lay they should doe their partes to keep their children within this compasse that is to say they were to prouide matches for them within their owne people to charge them in regard of that honour the which by God his commandement they did owe vnto them that they yeelded vnto their fathers choise and hauing gone thus far they haue sufficientlie done that which vnto them belonged and for the rest they were to leaue their rule lesse children vnto the iudgmēts of God and correction of the magistrate who in cases of disobedience where the authority of parents could beare no sway Deut 21 18. was by God himselfe appointed to minister correction according vnto the qualitie of the transgression To make an end of this ninth reason in the which I may be thought to haue dwelled too long Almost strong place our of Ieremie to proue that that the chois was in parents to prouide sit matches for their children in mariage I will shut vp this place with an authoritie taken out of the prophet Ieremie with the iudgment of M. Caluin a most worthie instrument of Christ his Church in our time vpon the same the which shall strike this matter stone dead as they say and so goe on to other proofes and these shall serue as a strong naile to fasten all the rest together to make sure all the other testimonies of scripture in this foresaid ninth reason already quoted for the faithfull alleadging of the which places vnto such end and purpose and by the holie Ghost they are directed besides that I haue the testimonie of a cleare conscience to beare witnesse of my fearfull carefulnesse to deale sincerelie and faithfullie in the handling of the word of God If I shall be therunto at any time hereafter vrged I can bring also the confirmation of the best and most learned writers Ieremie in the 29 chapiter of his prophesie among other reasons the which hee vseth to comfort the people in their long hard captiuitie Ievem 1● 6 and to put them in hope that they shall assuredlie return at the length speaketh vnto them by the commandement of God after this maner Take you wiues beget sons daughters and take wiues for your sonnes and giue your daughtes to husbands that they may beare sonnes and daughters that you may be encreased there and not be diminsshed Vpon this place Caluin writeth after this maner Wheras saieth he the prophet willeth them to take wiues for their sons and to giue their daughters to be maried this is according to the lawfull order and course of nature because that this were too preposterous or ouerthwart and topsituruy dealing that yoong men and maidens should get them either husbandes or wiues at their owne lust and pleasure God therefore in this place speaketh according vnto the common rule when as hee commandeth yoong men to be linked in matrimonie no otherwise but by the commandement of their parentes and maidens also not to marie any husbands but such as to whom they shal be giuen Here you may see in few words confirmed that Four especiall poyntes to be noted out of the wordes of Calum which in so manie I haue at large set downe before where first it is to bee noted that childrens marying according to the choise of their parentes is a thing commanded by God Secondlie that it is agreeable vnto the law of nature Thirdlie that it was a generall rule and common practise Fourthly that the contrarie dealing is preposterous and ouerthwart and as far out of square and order as if the cart should bee placed and set before the horse And marke further that in all these places cited in this ninth reason God saith not It is a cōmandement not a permission that parentes in mariage should make choise for their chils drest that parentes if they wil may prouide wiues for their sonnes and husbandes for their daughters That it were meete and requisite that it should be so but vseth euerie where the imperatiue mood that is commandeth that it be so and leaueth it not at randome to our discretion to choose whether we will haue it to bee so or otherwise to that end that we should knowe that if wee that are parentes shall neglect our duties in this behalfe wee shall not passe away with the matter slightlie and lightlie as if it were a lest a trifle but that we shall answer for it as for a transgression and breach of his commandement Hauing therefore giuen this breefe caueat and warning blow vnto fathers and mothers to think hereafter more aduisedlie vpon their duties in bestowing of their children I take my leaue and farewell of this reason giuing al yoong men and maidens in like maner to vnderstand that if they shal henceforth refuse to be ordered and directed by their parentes they shall be found rebels against God transgressors against the law of nature breakers of the common rule and custome of all well gouerned children and such so far as in them is would bring in al confusion and disorder in altering and changing Gods owne course to set vp and establish their owne vnbrideled lust and lawles affection Hitherto we haue seen how farreforth the Scriptures and places of the old Testament doe stand firmely on our side for the proofe of this question the which we haue taken vpon vs namely t●at mariages are not to bee made without the consent of parents the which as we perswade our selues wee haue proued with the a du●intage she wing that not onely children in mariage ought to haue
the good wil leaue of their fathers mothers butalso if we snal look more neerlie into the cause that the choise in mariage belong vnto them Now in ●he tenth place I wil make this plaine also by one cleare testimony and witnes out of the newe Testament the which I take from out of the seauenth Chapiter of the first Epistle of S. Paul vnto the Corinthians whose wordes be these The tenth reason out of the words of Paule 1. Cor. 7.36.37.38 But if any man thinke that it is vncomly for his vingin if shee passe the flowre of her age and neede so require let him doe what he will resin●eth not let them be maried Neuertheles he that standeth firme in his heart that he hath no neede but hath power ouer his owne will and hath so decreede in his heart that he wil keepe his virgin he doeth well So then he that grueth her to martage doth wel but he that giueth her not to mariage doth better The purpose of Paul in this place is to giue counsel vnto patentes what course they were best to take for their children concerning their bestowing of them in mariage or letting them remaine single according vnto the assured and certaine knowledge that they haue of their abilitie to liue chast or their neede otherwise to vse that lawfull remedie the which God hath ordained against fornication which is to marie so that those which haue the gift of chastitie hee would not haue constrained to ioine themselues in wedlocke nor those which are not able to be forced to liue single This is brieflie the summe of the place Concerning those children that cannot liue single hee willeth their parentes to looke vnto them betimes least that their too long differring and delaying the matter breed some inconuenience And this is it that hee saieth If ante man thinke that it is vncomely for his virgine if shee passe the flower of her age and neede so require let him doe what he will he sinneth not Let them marie Which last clause plainely teacheth that looke what is saide of the daughter is to be vnderstood also of the son for one cannot be maried alone Speaking therefore in the plurall number he meaneth as well the sonnes as the daughters touching whom this is his counsaile That parente● when their children come once to such yeares that they are readie to marie The summe o● the Apostle ●● his counsai● vnto paren●● in time to p●●uide fit ma●●ches for th● children should in due time haue consideration hereof not giuing occasion by causing them stay too long either to bee derided or laughed to scorne as stale bachelers or otherwise to bee suspected of bad husbandrie or huswifrie or of pride and disdaining all others being so nice coy that they think none fine enough to match withal or that there is in them some secrete hidden vice or infirmitie the which maketh them vnfit for mariage or otherwise of couetousnesse because they are loth to depart with mony towards their maintenance protracting delaying the time longer then the nature and disposition of their sonnes daughters will beare so that by their means being thus deferred and put off when as they are not able any longer to forbeare their parents neglecting to prouide that remedie for them the which Go● hath ordained they burne in lust and commit follie Their fathers and mothers therefore perceiuing that so it ought to be that is their children without feare of some inconuemence cannot tary any longer vnmatied ought worthelie to haue this wise care for them in time to prouide them of fit and honest matches This then is the drist of this place that parentes should by all gentle and faire meanes true out and search the state and disposition of their children towards mariage when by reason of conuenient age they are fit for the some and by conference and questioning with them get from them howe they stand affected this way and accordinglie as they shall haue sure notice how they are giuen to suffer them either to remaine single or els that they as it is their fatherlie dutie doe prouide for them godlie wiues and husbandes The inconuenience that groweth by this that parents followe not Paule his counsaile in prouiding fit matches for their children Thus we see how pregnant and plentifull a text this is to teach that it lieth in the parents to make due choise for their children in the case of matrimonie And because that small regard is had hereof in many now adaies hēce it commeth that some children giue themselues ouer vnto the lustes of the flesh in cōmitting shamefull filthy fornicatiō others contrary vnto the lawes both of God and nature breake into the duties of their fathers and vnnaturallie and not child-like without the priuitie consent of their parentes make their owne matches the same for the most part so vntoward that they bring the gray haires of their parentes vnto their griefe and sorrowe to the graue and themselues besides wastfully spending all that they haue liue all their life long in continuall and dailie home braules and houshold strifes and discordes You therefore that be fathers and mothers I most earnestlie and hartilie exhort and beseech you for the loue of God and in the tender bowels and mercie of Iesus Christ our most gratious redeemer An exhortation vnto al parents that you will at the length awake and rouse vp your selues out of this deadlie sleepe of carelesnesse wherewith you haue bene long oppressed making litle or none accountes at all of this waightie and necessarie dutie of prouiding vertuous wiues and husbandes for your sonnes and daughters delay the time hencefoorth no longer put in diligent vre and practise this wholsome counsaile of the Apostle lay off all rigorous austerenes and bitternes and in the spirite of lenitie and mildenesse question and confer talke and reason with your sonnes and daughters when they be come vnto ripe veares that you may learn how they are inclined concerning mariage or sole life and if it bee so that you thinke that through bashfulnesse and shamefastnesse they will not dare to deale plainlie with you nor freelie to vnfolde their mindes vnto you as they would doe vnto some of their familiars let it not grieue you to vse this wise policie to fish out their purpose by some of their friendes vnto whome being great with them they will not bee affraide to vtter the verie bottome of their heartes and inmost secretes And when you shall haue found that it is safest for your honor and meetest for their present estate that you prouide for thē to marie goe about the same in the feare of God accordinglie with faithfull and earnest praier vnto God Gen. 24.12 after the example of the godly Steward of Abraham in the book of Genesis that he wil both direct you in a vertuous and christian choise and also incline and mooue the heartes of your
therfore we also wil choose for ourselues according vnto our owne liking besides that the breach of dutie in the father doth not excuse the like disobedience in his sonne A bad sonne that wil haue his father go with him vnto the deuil for companie what art thou that thinkest it not inough that thou goe vnto the Deuill thy selfe vnlesse thou haue thy father to go with thee also for companie For as thy sin of disobedience if God graunt thee not repentance of the same shall in his iustice presse thee down euen vnto hel So likewise shall thy fathers marieng without the allowance of his parents be sufficient to condemne him if together with the rest of his sinnes it bee not couered in the merites of Iesus Christ our Sauiour And the example of Iudah may fitlie serue to instruct thee in this point that though thy father haue maried without the choise of his friendes yet thou art not in like maner to marie without the cōsent of them Gen. 38. for albeit Iudah tooke vnto himselfe a Cananitish woman without the priuitie and liking of his father Iaacob yet did hee prouide a wife for his owne children Er and Onan whereby wee gather that the fault the which hee committed in himselfe hee did not like nor allow of in his sonnes Setting a side therefore all cunning gloses and colourable deuises hammered in the Deuill his forge A profitable counsaile for all good natured childrē whereby hee teacheth his schollers to be subtile in inuenting reasons to maintaine their stubborne disobedience in not being ruled by the graue aduise godlie counsaile of their parentes as touching their mariage matches let all dutifull and good natured children in the reuerence and feare of God consider what honour and obedience they doe owe vnto their parents and what power and authoritie he hath in his worde sanctified vnto thē ouer their children in the Lord in regard hereof let them yeeld vnto them this dutie that their fathers hauing prouided for them such as are not of a wicked life nor deformed or euill fauoured nor of a contrarie religion they willinglie submit themselues vnto their choise which if for the present or vpon the suddain they cānot yeeld vnto let them by earnest cal ling vpon the name of God desire him to subdue in them this corrupt affection that he will frame their wil to bee plyable vnto their fathers in such lawful cases lawful I may well call them because that the ciuil constitutions and ordinances do ratifie and allow of them the two former especiallie setting downe that children are to giue the consent vnto the fathers choise where the partie chosen is not of infamous life 2 Cor. 6.14 nor in shape or fauour so blemished as it may worthelie bee supposed that the same may be an occasion of the withdrawiug of loue As for the third caution or prouiso of not grāting vnto the fathers choise in the cause of contrarie religion it is confirmed flatlie by the counsell of the Apostle where he willeth that we should not draw the yoke with infidels which if it hold in other cases of the affaires of this life much more ought it to bee of force in mariage matters mariage I meane hereafter to bee made and not such as are alreadie made for where the knot is once already knit there disparitie or vnequalnes in religion is no iust cause of seperation Yea in this most graue waighty cause In prouiding of watches for their children par●ntes ought to begin with praier I would be author vnto all christian parentes that they take not the same lightly in hand as if it were but a toy or a iest but that they begin it with praier that in the whole actiō they may in such sort be directed that they do nothing against the word of God or vnbeseeming the same authority the which God himself in this cause hath imposed or laid vpon them And thus doing God no doubt will ad a blessing vnto their godlie indeuour and holie care worke obedience in the heartes of their children as hee framed the heart of Isaac with entire affection to imbrace Rebeccah whom his father Abraham had by his Steward prouided for him And least that any should imagine that this counsell is a pecuish fancie of a too much spiced and nice conscience the parents ought to bee induced and perswaded hereunto Gen. 24.7 Aben Ezra holdeth this to haue bene a praier first by the example of Abraham who committing the charge of prouiding a wife for his sonne vnto his seruant praieth that God will send his Angell before him to direct him in this businesse Secondlie the course which Abraham his seruant taketh in the effecting of this charge dooth teach no lesse Gen. 24.12 of whom we reade that he entred into this businesse with praier Gen. 24.26 that he geueth thankes vnto God when hee meeteth with Rebeccah Gen. 24 5● that hee praiseth God when at the deliuerie of his message the parentes without gaine-saieng graunted their consent And whilest I giue this counsell vnto the parentes Children mariage-able are to pray vnto God to direct their parentes in a godly choise and to incline their mindes to accept of the same I woulde not haue the children thinke that I discharge them of this dutie of whom the same is by so much the more to be put in practise by how much they are more subiect to bee caried away with the swift current of their stay-lesse affections from whome wee heare too often these and such like more then prophane and heathenish speaches ' I will marie to please mine owne eie and not to satisfie the mind of my father I will neuer match with him that woeth my parents before he woeth me Shal I go to the father before I am sure of the daughter c. Whereas in verie deede they are not at all once so much as to make the least motion of mariage vnto the daughter vnlesse before they haue obtained the good will and liking of the father For in these cases let the daughters if they shall be thereunto sollicited and woed learne of the example of the maiden out of the Poet and of Cyrus out of Xenophon cited before to say vnto their suters My Father and my mother haue to determine and dispose of my mariage this is a matter not belonging nor appertaining vnto me The heathen haue borne themselues in this dutifull sort towardes their parentes and shall I that professe my selfe a christian come so far short of thē in this dutie as to cōtract my self without the consent knowledge of my elders Nay let thē say with Tamar as it is in the story of the kings Speake I pray thee vnto my father for he will not deny me vnto thee c. 2 Sam. 13 verse 13 And here when as I enter into the consideration of the contrarie bad course practise of