Selected quad for the lemma: cause_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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A35880
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A dialogue between Hodge and Heraclitus, or, A character of an informer with his lewd practises layed open / by Goodlove Freeman, Esq.
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Freeman, Goodlove.
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1682
(1682)
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Wing D1313; ESTC R231401
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4,074
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10
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A DIALOGUE BETWEEN Hodge and Heraclitus OR A CHARACTER OF An Informer VVith his lewd Practises layed open By Goodlove Freeman Esq Printed for D. Davies in Duke street A DIALOGUE BETWEEN HODGE and HERACLITUS Herac. OHo Brother whether so fast you seem somewhat pensive what 's the matter I hope the little Monkey-face Soliciter in the Ould Bayly nor the Printers wife nor the ugly ghost of forty one hath not crossed your way in your passage Hodg. Damn that Rat-catcher and as for the other piece of starched formality I have no need of now those daies are past but to tell you the Truth Brother which I am not often guilty of Im going to Sams to instruct our young Pupels Herac. But what Paper hast thou got in thy hand which you seem not well pleased with Hodg. Why shall I tell thou it is a confounded Whigish Paper which I formerly stopt when I was in power but is now creep'd abroad I tell thee the Reading of it hath so disturbed me that I thought I should have took up my Lodging with Oliver's Porter in the nâ—w Coledge in Moor-fields had not I been now and then diverâ—â—d with the Charms of a new Song of Old Simon the King whic◠〈◊〉 Chanters sing daily by my Window Herac. But prithee let me see thiâ— Paper I have a great mind to hear it read Hodg Here take it and read it thou art the youngest man faith and troth I have not my Spectacles about me or I would not give you the trouble but I know iâ— will not please you here take it Herac. A new Character of an Informer Hodg A P d it read that the rest of the Company may hear it for this will make us work enough for some weeks Herac. Be patient sir and I will begin The Character of an Informer AN Informer I mean of the baser sort whose Picture only is here intended to be drawn Is one of the Devils Nut-hooks a Priviledg'd Trapan or a common Barretor under pretence of Authority a Petty-fogging Caterpillar that scandalizes the Law by making it accessary to his Rapines and Oppressions a new Trapp for the Tongue that Lime-twigs all that come near him and puts most that he converses with on the Tenter-hooks of an Indictment for nothing A mischevious Vermin bred out of the Corruption of the Body Politique that feeds like Toads only on Poysons and sucks the peccant Humours so long like a Horse-leach till he burst with Venome or is forc'd to disgorge by the Emetick quality of a Halter He makes good the old Maxime Summum Jus Summa injuria and cuts Justices Ballance to pieces with her own Sword He talkes all Law and never troubles his head with Equity or Religion unless it be only to suppress them and having no Conscience himself is resolved to be a Plague to all those that dare own they have any He never opens his Mouth but you shall see it Lyned with some old dormant Piece of Poulton whom he reads meerly as Conjurers do Scripture to do mischief with it You would think him bred a Glasier he is so apt to pick Quarrels or some broken Merchant that has flung his soul over-board to make himself every way a compleat Bankrupt He will court a man to beat him that he may worry him next Sessions for the Battery and drop dangerous words on purpose to Prosecute you for concealing them Presentments Citations Warrants Convictions Seazures c are his Vniversal Language and he is better acquainted with the Form of an Indictment than his Pater Noster for he never names God but when he swears by him His Revenue consists in Actions Popular and his whole imployment is to go a Fishing with Penal Statutes he thinks by that to take store of fat Gudgeons but at last catches only a Frog For his malicious Projects like chymical Attempts of Transmuting Mettalls seldome answer the trouble and charge and his mighty Incomes of Penalties can but just purchase Ale enough to make him drunk and afterwards he is forc'd to run on the Tick at a Friends for Coffee to make him sober if he may be said ever to be so whose Hair-brain'd Skâ—ll is perpetually Hurrycan'd with malice and in Child-bed throws till t is delivered of some New-minted Villiany There is nothing in Nature so base and contemptible as one of his Quality a Bum-baily is a worthy Gentleman to him and the Apparator scorns his company more than a Phanitick does a Parson's the Boyes stare on him as a Monster Big bellied Women are ready to miscarry at the sight of him and People generally avoid his Converse as they would do the Pestilence and indeed they have reason for he is one of Gods more greivous Judgments Squire Ketch himself would not endure the scandal of drinking a Pot with him were he not in certain hopes of a future Advantage by him a Popish Fire-ball Flinger is not more hated in the City than he only the Justices Clark and He call Cozens because he brings the most Grists to his Mill and warrants him a Trade The Wise Athenias we read banisht a Coffin-maker out of their City because the cause of his mirth was others sadness what would they have done with such a Setting-dog who like a beast of Prey lives wholly on mischief and can neither eat nor drink without some Law be violated so that if ever he say any Prayers they are only that men may daily increase their crimes and act more unlawful things that his Gains may rise proportionably For though like a câ—nning Archer he seem to make the Publick Service the Mark of his aim yet he squints aside at his own ends which are the true Butt all the Arrows of his Prosecutions are shot at He pretends himself a Zealot for Law and the Churches chief Scavinger But is in truth a Prostituted Varlet and for all him Episcopacy might lie in the Kennel and Acts of Parliament though never so just and necessary stop Mustard-pots if he did not hope to get a Spill by them And for Two-pence advance from either Geneva or Rome I le undertake the same Fellow would burn the Common-prayer and tear Magna Charta to pieces if he have not done it already Whatever boasts therefore he makes of his Loyalty or Orthodoxness those that wear any Eyes about them will judge so bad a man can scarce make the best Subject and that we are like to have a glorious Reformation when open Prophaneness is imployed to correct supposed Heresies a Good Cause is undoubtedly scandaliz'd by such vile Instruments and could not but Blush to see those Prosecute Persons for Ceremonial Nonconformities who are themselves so much unconformable to all the fundamental Laws of Religion and Morality Does it not sound excellently to hear one of these promoting Hectors cry out Damn me before I have done I le make all these Phanatick Sons of Whores come to our Church and sâ—rve God gallantly Is not this