cleane abiured my maiestie and authoritie my bell booke and candle Can I erre or be deceiued or vtter any thing that is not legitimate hallowed What shall I say to him reuerend Cardinals nay what shall I not say to him But I sée his infirmitie therefore I wil say no more to him but do the déed What say you to it speak shortly togither are not the English lawfully to be banished The Cardinals forthwith replied what more lawful and right That which pleaseth your holinesse is autentique and not to be any longer vrged or denied your wil be done here in earth as it is in heauen Purgatorie The English banished froÌ„ Rome Sarcinas colligite Angli TheÌ„ quoth the Pope Sic volo sic iubeo I will command it so but after this manner Let proclamation now presently be made in all parts of this citie that al English Catholikes of what state or calling soeuer they be whether they be men womeÌ„ or children do come to morow to S. Peters church by nine of the clock in the forenoone there to heare solemn masse afterwards to depart away with bag baggage such goods as they haue into such countries as they shall thinke best but not to inhabite or remaine within Italie or any prouince therof vpon paine of my curse farther displeasure Notable pillers of the Pope indeed The Cardinals answered Blessed are your words supernatural be your cogitations your diuine commandement with al reuerence shal be executed So the Pope arose went to his Pallace but the Cardinals tarried somwhat longer behind taking order for the proclamation which being done they went to their lodgings Cardinal Allen with his accustomed guard went to his where we wil leaue him maruellously distempered yet somewhat busily occupied in making readie his trunkes his Mules other necessaries for the next day The Proclamation being published good God how the English Catholiks maruelled muttered at it not knowing what should be the cause therof The English greatly grieued with their banishment Some wept for sorrow some raged and rored like men at their wits end some fell sicke for sorrow euery one was not a little dismaied taking it both hardly heauily Great was their griefe strange was their crie wonderfull their complaint and one aboue the rest contemning the Pope not brooking the iniurie tooke his pen in hand and wrote these verses and cast them that night into the Popes Pallace Papè proh papa perut pax palma pudorque Praepinguis perstat princeps pastorque peculà Pseudopapa procul properato pontificales Putres pessunda prospecta ponito pyris Protomysta pedes premito pampilla paletum Pausa paulisper panchrestaque prouida phraende Proijce prosedas pressuras proditiones Praelia praesertim praerancida pragmata passim Posterga praesul phantasmata pulpita pupas Picturas pedicas putorem praestigiasque Pellito praesignem pompam popasque popinas Pestiferam petram peltam patinasque phalernum Pro praedis prauis plenas persoluito poenas Proh pestes praxim pugnas pÃceasque propulsa Posce preces puras pietatem porrige puram Plebeis populis praesis prosisque potentèr Pensicula plagas Papatus proluuiumque Pasce pecus planè plenè pete praedia petri Portentosa patris postmitte piacula Pluti Propitio placido pro pneumaete pace precare An other also being as malecontent as the former wrote these Sapphickes folowing Sancte Grégori potius sceleste Turges Grégori malesane papa Perperà m tanta rabie furore Bile Britannis Quod scelus quaeso facinus quod illis Non tui Serui fuerint fideles Exulant ergo sine lege Roma Pignora chara Tun ' fidem Petri retines beatam Tun ' tenes petram cathedramque Petri Vanitas sellam Sathanae superbi Iure capessis Iure tu Daemon Deus ipse nullo Iure pessundas violasque iura Iura quae toto Dominus colenda Tradidit orbe Roma Grégori fugiemus Esto An tuos Anglos relegabis Esto Tunc vale scortum Babilonis excors Papa valeto When the next daie was come wherin they should appeare in Saint Peters church they according to their holy fathers commandement resorted thereto and there heard diuine masse offering to our Ladie and to Saint George Babble a good or else neither S. George nor our Lady wil heare you Cardinall AlleÌ„s oratioÌ„ to his countrimen and praying them that they would chaunge and conuert the minde of the Pope that they might continue in their Colledge and places as they had done tofore When they had so done Cardinal Allen called them together and spake thus I neede not tell you my deare and louing countrimen what the cause is that we are commaunded hither You knowe I am sure by the proclamation yesterdaie that we are this daie to be banished according to the edict and decree of our holy Lord Gregorie the xiiij and his Cardinalles the cause why I promise you faithfully I know not neither any of you do know as I coniecture which is no smal griefe and dolor vnto vs what shall we do good countrimen Can you inuent no waie to remedie the matter or at least to pacifie it for a while vntill farther deliberation They answered we know none Then quoth the Cardinall what say you to this Some of the grauest and most substantial of you shall goe with a Supplication to our holy father VVe are content said they if it maie any whit further vs. You shall quoth the Cardinall carie with you a thousand Florens A Florene is an Italian crowne of the value of iiij s. vj. d. ste Roma dat omnia omnia dantibus and bestow it vpon his holinesse three hundred of the which I my selfe will giue and the rest shall be collected among you This much we will not onely now but yearly hereafter giue vnto him so that we maie haue licence and security here to inhabite and this no doubt will doe the deede and accomplish our desire Iacta est alea sayd they we like it well let it be perfourmed Then they gathered the mony and did put it together and went with it to the Pope and gaue him their supplication the tenour wherof was after this maner The English mens supplication to the Pope In most humble and obedient wise complaine vnto your holinesse your poore afflicted and desolate seruants the English Catholiques VVheras it hath pleased your Highnesse together with your reuerend Cardinals for to renounce vs to pronounce vs exiles and banished to cause a proclamation therof yesterday to be published that we shold all this day appeare at S. Peters church by nine of the clocke and from thence directly to take our passage we haue accoÌ„plished as we are most bounden your good and gracious commandement and we are all there present to attend your pleasure authoritie May it please you to haue some fatherly pitie and compassion vpon vs that are far from our
But how he was with some of his Cardinals and other his especiall friends at dinner where all things were lautè and opiparè fine and curious where no daintie cates and delicates were wanting both deare bought and farre brought and good for ladies Another great mischance that the pope had The Pope he so glutted and greased himselfe with good chéere that his holinesse was somewhat pleasant and in the same mood that the Poet Ennius was when he could best versifie insomuch that séeing Cardinall Allen doing his ghostly dutie vnto him he spake after this maner VVhat Cardinall Allen you are welcom come sit downe with vs Qui é assai con che Here is good chéere These words did not please a little the Cardinall they were honie to his mouth Nectar to his heart and heauenly harmonie to his eares so that without further entreaty he sate down with them fed as hardly hungerly For all their boasting of their vnitie they quarrel one with another and differ in opinions as such a passionate man could do The rest of the cōpany not forgetting the late strange euent did lowre looked sowre vpon the Cardinall murmuring and muttering at him not a little yet fearing the Popes deitie and respecting the high dignitie of his triple crowne they cloaked and coloured some humanitie towards him and vsed the best affabilitie they could After they had well taken their repast and talked somewhat merily of pretie pastimes and daliances The table talke of the Papists of daliance the Pope rouzed from a swéet lullabie eleuating his head with a higher Catholike aspect then before began to fixe and cast his eyes vpon Cardinall Allen and after he had rubbed a little with his hallowed hands he fell into some memorie with himselfe gaue to the Cardinal an other welcome after this maner Cardinale voi non mangiate vi vergognate Cardinall you eate nothing are you ashamed If you are it is a signe of some alteration and vnacquainted passion in you this was not wont to be your fashion The Cardinall with all reuerence and submission vnto him thus replied Io ho beue mangiato I thanke your holinesse I was neuer yet ashamed to take my meate and it shall be a great alteration and passion that shall make me leaue and loath it Well well sayde the Pope I know what I know and you know who I am Nimia familiaritas parit contemptum I haue loued you too well The Pope repenteth of the great fauour that he shewed to the Cardinall yea I would I had not loued you so well for then I had not beene loued so ill The Cardinall answered Your holinesse may déeme of me as you please and speake of me what you list I may not nor ought not gainesay you sub poena mortalis peccati vnder paine of mortall sinne But if once I should be found not louing you or anie kinde of wayes misconstruing of your excellencie well may I thinke that I breathed but neuer that I liued Decipimar specie quoth the Pope there is knauerie in your budget and I sée now which way she wind bloweth I haue followed your humour too much and I haue had too great trust and confidence to you English aliants for you haue brought more discredite to my Sea more troubles to my synagogues and more charges to my holinesse then any other nation whatsoeuer and this you shall shortly know more at large to your bad digestion The Cardinall would haue spoken vnto him againe but the companie would not permit him insomuch that he departed away with a buzzing flie in his eare more troubling him then before The Cardinall being departed the Pope prosecuted the matter The Pope exclaimeth against the Cardinall his countrimen Sure I am most noble Cardinals that you maruell not a little wherefore I reprehended and accused Cardinall Allen so openly and dealt so roundly and soundly with him as plainly to tell him of his offence and duly and truely to conuince him of his treacherie Assure your selues cause I haue to do it yea and such cause as grieueth and girdeth me to the quicke For I haue found him such a péeuish parasite and cousoning quondam to me his Lord and high Bishop such a poysoned staine and blemish to you his fellow Cardinals and such an eclipse and downefall to our Catholique Church that hee is worthie not onely presently to be banished from our Court but also to be afflicted with a farre greater punishment Now I know the scuruie sycophant and the paltrie peasant tanquam Corui pullos suos Fit words for a Pope Now the beggerly route and rabblement of English miscreants haue cast off their maskes and visardes and shewen themselues to be flatterers picke-thankes and cogging clawbackes Wherefore I protest and sweare vnto you by my holinesse that they are eyesores and vlcers vnto me and shall not from hencefoorth come into my sacred fauour and acceptation Yea I tell you my Cardinals that I will haue them cleane extirpate and exiled out of all my territories dominions and prouinces or else I will lose my triple Diademe and scepter The Pope commādeth a parliament I commaund you therefore vpon your oath and obedience to our holy mother the Church and to me your high Lord and supreame pastour that you and all the rest of the Cardinals appeare to morrow in my consistorie by nine of the clocke in the forenoone and especially Cardinall Allen that English runne-away there to answere such things as shall be obiected agaynst him The Cardinals hearing the holie fathers commaundement forthwith did execute the same sending worde to the rest of the Cardinals and principallie to Cardinall Allen Cardinall Allen hardly delt withall causing his lodging to be watched all that night for feare least he should priuily escape away Cardinall Allen now percyuing how much the fire was kindled and what a manie of stinging hornets hee had stirred vp about him was so perplexed and pestered that he rested a la mort fit for nothing but for a dumbe shadow yet scanning the matter more indifferently and weighing also his owne worthinesse and vocation more exactly he did somewhat mittigate his griefe and confirme his heart so that with care-away and chaunce what may he was this pleasaunt with himselfe Tush man all is well inough if thou canst be content The Cardinall couragious fearing no colours let care be the least thoughe of a thousand Can one petie misfortune or one little fleabiting disgrace thy holinesse embeazle thy fame and sacke thy credite illustrate to all Catholiques in Europe No no if thou thinkest so thou art farre besides the cushion and doest shew thy selfe to be a boy and a milkesoppe vnworthie of thy name and dignitie For maugre the holy father Gregorie himselfe maugre the Cardinals and maugre al the potentates of the court of Rome thou canst not be once cloyed or annoyed or so much as driuen to a non
learnedly written hereof he that list to read that discourse of his shal easily beléeue the whole matter to be fabulous Truth it is that such a one indéede hath of late written thereof and beaten his braines not a little to helpe out this matter but all in vaine for he was one of the Popes Parasites hired and procured by him onely for that businesse His booke was printed in Venice and plausiblie accepted of his friends and welwillers but the stuffe that he hath brought in there to make the world beléeue that there was neuer any Pope Ioane in Rome is such trash so ridiculous that it will grieue a good Christian in his heart to read and sée it Quid non mentiri vel quid non protinus audet Fingere mortale ingenium vt sibi maior eundi In praeceps pateat via liberiorque potestas Peccandi detur minus peccata pudoris In se contineant This is the craft and policie of the Pope to hire procure men to smooth and sooth his matters and to face and grace out his impieties with many forged lies false suppositions thinking by that meanes to dazel mens eyes and to make them beléeue they be true godly and apostolical This haue many popish Pages of late done Most impudent and notorious railers and liers and especially Amphilochius Onuphrius Surius and Hieronimus Bolsecus one that hath vsed most shamelesse rayling most vile spiteful and horrible lies and cauils with an immoderate and vnciuile bitternesse procéeding from the vnsauerie and vnquiet humour of his heart against the godly and reuerend ministers of the gospel Caluin Beza with others moe God of his mercie graunt that they may repent and amend their liues renounce their damnable errors forsake their cursed slanders and not aduenture their wits in such desperate causes For Nemo periculosiùs peccat quà m qui peccata defendit No mā sinneth with more danger then he that standeth in defence of sinne CHAP. V. VVhat yeare of the Lord Pope Ioane liued in Rome How long she was Pope and betweene what Popes she was Herodotus XErxes the great king of Persia when he brought ouer his huge armie into Grecia sent out his letters of defiance vnto the great mount Athos that is in Macedonia and commanded him to stand still and not to stirre a foote nor to worke any displeasure either to himselfe or to his armie Euen by like authoritie and with as good discretion the Pope and his hyrelinges haue done with dame Ioane who being able no kind of way to colour or cloake her sufficiently haue sent out their letters and defiance to all Countreyes and Regions that perfectly knowe her commanding them not once to spurne or kicke against her nor so much as to make any record or mention of her But let them wrastle and wrangle so much as they will let them curse defie while they list and let Onuphrius and all the rabble rout of them do what they can the truth thereof will neuer be forgotten it is and will be absolutely knowne to the vtter confusion of proud Antichrist and to the euerlasting execration of all the popish and péeuish synagogues For although they haue left the name of Pope Ioane out of the Calendar of the bishops of Rome onely for shame What the cause was that they haue left Pope Ioane out of their Calendar least it should appeare in records that a woman such a woman had béene bishop of Rome or that the bishop of Rome had béene with child and although they neuer cease to bolster and bungle vp the matter sometime with this shift sometime with that sometime affirmatiuely sometime negatiuely yet so many Chronicles would not haue recorded it nor so many mē would haue written it nor the world would so vniuersally haue beléeued these things of that Pope more then of any other had it not beene true credible and veritie For where I pray begā the history of her first In Rome From what place was it first published abroad into the world From Rome What be they that haue written and declared it The trustie friends of Rome yea the great autenticall doctours and commissioners of the Pope haue described and auouched it some liuing foure hundred yeares agoe some fiue hundred who haue euer béene counted famous fathers in Rome and worthy of no small authoritie and reuerence What yeare of our Lord was dame Ioane Pope in Rome As they haue written 853. How long was she in the Popedome As they haue written two yeares one moneth and foure dayes Betwixt what Popes was she As they themselues haue written betwéene Leo the fourth and Benedict the third Séeing then that our aduersaries owne friends and Proctours haue written and related it and so plainly and expresly shewen it I maruell much with what faces any of them can denie it or go about to excuse it CHAP. VI. What Pope Ioanes name was how she was not borne in England but at Mentz in Germanie and how she came to Rome and to the Popedome MAny there be I know and those our owne countrimen who thinke and beléeue dame Ioane to be an English woman borne I can coniecture no other thing to be the cause hereof but report onely being for the most part more common then true The cause why Pope Ioane is thought to be an English woman borne and especially because in manie authors entreating of this matter is found Iohannes Anglicus or Iohannes de Anglia which séemeth vnto them to be translated Iohn an English man or Iohn of England Because I would haue all those that be not as yet truely certified and resolued herein to agrée togither and rightly to beleeue this point I will declare vnto them the truth of the matter Why she was called Ioane English according to the opinions of the best and most approued writers She was called Ioane English by the surname of her father and borne at Mentz in Germany Martinus Polonus the Popes ghostly Penitentiarie discoursing at large of this matter affirmeth the same for thus he writeth Iohannes Anglicus natione Maguntinus sedit annos duos mensem vnum dies quatuor c. Iohn English so surnamed borne at Mentz sate in the Romaine Sea two yeares one moneth and foure dayes Theodoricus Niemus also sometime the Popes Secretarie and therefore had good cause to know the truth hereof doth liuely paint out the whole matter and expresly sheweth the same Et fuit mulier de Maguntia nata quae studuit Athenis sub virili habitu in tantum profecit in artibus vt tandem veniens Romam per biennium in schola Artes liberales legerit adeo sufficiens fuit vt etiam Maiores Nobiles vrbis eius lectiones frequenter audiuerint Et postea eligitur in Papam c. And there was Ioane a woman borne at Mentz and had studied at Athens in the apparell of a man and had so profited in the Artes that at last comming to Rome two yeares together she professed the liberall Sciences in a Schoole And her gift in teaching was such that the Elders and Nobles of the Citie resorted often to heare her reade Afterward she was chosen Pope c. We néede not cite any more testimonies for farther proofe hereof Pope Ioane a Dutchwoman borne these two doe manifestly shewe that she was a Dutchwoman borne and not called Ioane English by the name of the Countrey for that she was an English woman borne in England as many imagine but only by the surname of her father For who knoweth nor that there are many at this day called by the names of Scot Irish French Welsh Norman Gascoyne Holland and yet not borne in any of these Countries but onely in Englande Therefore it is true and without all doubt that Pope Ioane was not borne in England but in Germany Notwithstanding some there be whose authoritie is verie credible and sufficient that say her name was Gilberta Her right name was Gilberta but called Ioane the eight Pope Ioane was a studēt at Athens and called Ioan the eight who likewise affirme that she was a Dutch-woman of Mentz and went with an English Monke out of the Abbey of Fulda to Athens in mans apparell Well truth it is that she was in the young yeares of a girle brought to Athens by one that was her louer in mans apparell There she studied and profited so much in diuerse sciences that none were found to be compared with her This is not straunge Women brought vp in mens apparell and taken for men nor much to be marueiled at For Rauisius Textor in Officina writeth the like of one Marina that dissembling what she was liued many yeres in an Abbey as a Monke of Lasthenia Axiothea and others that being women came into the Schoole in mans apparell to heare Plato The like doth many others write of Euphrosyna that holy mayde that dwelt 36. Pope Ioane came to Rome She was created Pope of Rome Her behauiour in that high office A most liuely president of the whorish Sea yeares in Monkes apparell among Monkes and was neuer otherwise taken then for a Monke From Athens shee came to Rome and there professed learning openly and had great Doctors to her Schollers and for opinion of learning and good life by one consent of all was made Pope being in this high and glorious seate she behaued her selfe so orderly and discharged that supernall office so absolutely that she was with child and as she went in Procession deliuered thereof and so dyed Thus was the Pope of Rome who is such a parls fellowe that he can not erre a woman with child deliuered in procession dead openly in the stréetes and buried without any honour or solemnitie God giue all Christians grace by this example to beware of the Antichristian and Babylonicall Pope to renounce him and all his errors to reiect him and all his Parasites and to sée the trueth and that blessed hope wherevnto they haue béene called so as they may glorifie him alone who is the true God and also that same Iesus Christ whom he sent downe to vs from heauen to whom with the Father and the holy Ghost be giuen all honour and glorie euerlastingly Amen FINIS