intreat him in her husbands behalf whom he kept in prison he requested her to do him a small pleasure onely to giue him a nights lodging promising vpon that condition to grant whatsoeuer she would aske She poore soule was here put to a plunge and what woman is there who entirely loueth her husband that would not haue bene in the like case For considering with her selfe on the one side that if shee yeelded to his impotent affection she should violate her faith plighted to her husband and one the other side that she should saue his life by consenting vnto him she handled the matter warily and well For although she was resolued to preferre her husbands life before her good name yet she first acquainted him therewith who easily dispensing with her as it is like he would she let his Lordship take his pleasure which he so much desired perswading her selfe he would be as good as his word But the next morning this wicked wretch yea supersuperlatiue knaue if I may so speake hauing hanged him said vnto her I promised indeed you should haue your husband againe Well I wil be as good as my word I wil not keep him frō you take him to you If we here consider the difference which ought to be between Christians heathen can we say that the knaueries of Verres for which he was so battered with the canon shot and striken downe with the thunderbolt of Tullies eloquence did any way come neare this notorious villany cōmitted notwithstanding in the sight of the Sunne I haue often heard of another of his knauish parts which because it makes much to shew his integritie may well go hand in hand with the former that so both of them may be registred in his chronicles Whilst this iolly gentleman was about to hang a silly soule who was vpon the ladder a good fellow came vnto him and whispered in his eare promising that if he would saue his life he would giue him a hundred crownes in ready money which words had so good a rellish and made his teeth so to water that he presently gaue a signe to the hang-man to hold his hand hauing deuised a good scābling shift came neare to the place of execution said aloud in his gibbridge Regardas messeurs en qual dangi◠me mettio a quest malhurous Car el a courone non m'oudisio pas Lo mal de terre te vire Dauala dauala tu seras menat dauant l'official ton iuge That is See my maisters into what danger this roague hath brought me for he hath courone and neuer told me A plague light on thee Come downe come downe Sirra thou shalt be presented before the officiall thy Iudge And here I remember another tricke yet farre more strange plaid by another who had the same office This good fellow desirous on the one side to saue a theeues life that was committed into his hands vpō condition he might haue a share in the booty as was formerly agreed and on the other side fearing lest the people should murmur and mutine if he suffered not the Law to haue his course and that himselfe should be in danger of his life he shifted it thus He apprehended a simple fellow and told him that he had sought for him a long time and that he was the man that had committed such a fact The silly soule denied it stoutly as one whose conscience acquit him of all that was laid to his charge But the Prouost being resolued to proceed on and to prosecute the matter against him to the proofe suborned certaine good fellowes to deale with him vnder hand and to shew him that it was better for him to confesse the fact seeing that whether he denied or confessed it there was no remedy he was sure to lose his life and that if he confessed it the Prouost wold be bound by oth to cause so many masses to be said for him that he might assure himself he should go to heauen and though he denyed it he shold be hanged neuerthelesse and go to the diuell because no man would procure him so much as one masse The simple sot hearing that he should be hanged and after go the diuell was terribly affraid and said that he had rather be hanged and so go to God In the end he told them he did not remember that euer he committed any such thing notwithstanding if any man did better remember it then himselfe and were sure of it he would dye patiently onely he besought them in any hand to keepe touch with him for his masses He had no sooner spoken the word but he was brought to the place of execution to supply his roome that had deserued death Howbeit being vpon the ladder he vttered certaine speeches by which he gaue the people to vnderstand that he was sorry that euer he had confessed so much notwithstanding the heauen and happinesse they had promised him To remedy which inconuenience the Prouost gaue a signe to the hangmā to turne him off the ladder lest he should tell tales out of the schoole which was done accordingly But because I am come to the very height of these mens impieties I will here strike saile and direct my course to another coast 3 And if I must needs speake of Iudges and Iustices wiues as well as Maillard and Menot be it knowne vnto all men that they are not content to haue their gownes died in the blood of the poore nor to get their liuing by the sweat of their bodies as those houswiues mentioned by the foresaid preachers but make their market better and go a nearer way to the wood For wheras they get nothing but braue apparrell and iewels by such sweat these get offices besides for their husbands And what say these gentle Gillians and chast Penelopes Quae faciunt placitum Domini Abbatis Domini Episcopi Domini Cardinalis as Menot speaketh when they see their husbands aduanced by their meanes but that it is good to haue the fauour of great Lords and that a man cannot tell what need he may haue of their helping hand Questionlesse if Menot or Maillard were now liuing they would answer them roundly if they had not forgotten their old Latin Ad omnes Diabolos talem fauorem 4 Which being so it cannot be but that that wicked kind of cheating and chaffering which was vsed in Menots time as we may perceiue by his complaints should be much more common and ordinary at this day viz. that Lawyers should lend their consciences to great Lords For seeing they obtaine offices of them at so easie a rate viz. by their meere fauour they cannot chuse as they thinke who haue as large a conscience as a ship-mans hose or a Franciscans sleeue which others call a cheuerell conscience but make them win the day and cary the cause though they should offer the greatest wrong in the world Notwithstanding I do not affirme that all maried men which are promoted by
how easie a matter it is for those who credit the common report which hath often a blister on her tongue to condemne Herodotus as a fabulous fellow and lying Legendary But let vs see how many authors they here encounter For if Herodotus must not be heard with his ten moneths neither must Hippocrates Galen Plutarch Plinie sundry lawyers nor the greatest part of Poets as Theocritus Plautus Cecilius Virgil and Propertius who affirme as much But certaine it is that they which condemne Herodotus in this particular either haue not read him or do not remember that they haue read as much in these writers and being forestalled with this preiudicate opinion that he maketh no conscience of a lie they scorne any further information to which if they would but lend a patient eare they should without forraging so farre find the like nay some farre greater and more wonderfull things in the extraordinary workes of nature then any mentioned by him For clearing of which point I wil adde an obiection of another kind That which he reporteth of the fertility of the territory of Babylon that one graine yeeldeth for the most part two hundred and oftentimes three hundred farre surpasseth the fruitfulnesse of our soyle and therefore say they it is out of question he here lied for the whetstone But let these horned Logicians which frame such crooked arguments answer whether nature can bring foorth fruite any more of her selfe then the knife can cut of it selfe They will answer I am sure that it cannot I demaund then what is that ouer-ruling hand which guideth and disposeth all these things They dare not denie but that it is Omnipotent which if they grant why should they thinke that to be impossible to him which is here affirmed by Herodotus If they shall further say that he and other historians tell vs strange tales of the fertilitie of certaine countries whose plentie consisteth at this day only in scarcitie want and penurie and hereupon shall accuse him of forgerie let them beware lest they inuolue the holy scriptures in the same accusation For they make some places fertile which are now in a maner barren But if we consider the hand which somtimes stretcheth forth it self and somtimes drawes it self in again which now sendeth forth a blessing and now a curse vpon one and the same country In briefe if we call to mind the saying of Dauid Psal. 104. and refer the reason of such alterations to that supreame and soueraigne cause we shall find the true answer to such obiections Moreouer those who for the former reason will not beleeue Herodotus his report of the fruitfulnesse of Babylon will neuer beeleue that the citie Babylon was so great as he reporteth it to haue bene viz. that those which dwelt in the suburbes were surprised and taken before they in the heart of the citie had knowledge thereof For if we measure the largenesse of it by the greatnesse of our cities it cannot chuse but seeme false and fabulous I proceed now to prosecute the second part touching the actions of men First then as Herodotus is suspected of falshood and forgery for reporting that Babylon was so beautiful great rich and situate in so fertil a soile so is he also for the large report which he maketh of the puissance of the Persian Kings Lords of that citie For who can beleeue that a King of Persia euer led such an armie as drunke riuers drie I meane such small riuers as he speaketh of True it is I confesse if the Reader shal consider the power of our moderne Kings and thereby iudge of the puissance and power of the Persian Monarchs he cannot but hold Herodotus for the fondest fabler that euer writ But to make this comparison were to demaund as one did whether the Sea were greater then the Lake of New-castle and it were to speake with as good iudgement as he that said as it is reported Se le Rey de Franse se fousse bin gouuerna è fousse maitre d'houta de nâ—utron seignaâ— It were I say to measure the power of Princes with his mete-wand who said Mo l'è pur matto'sto ré à â—olerse â—uffar con san Marco L'è perso che i signori ha deliberato di mettere in terra cinquecenti cauai fottili For looke how much these fond fooles debased the King of France by such ignorant and doltish speeches so much do they decase the King of Persia who compare him with our moderne Kings But as he which asked whether the Sea were greater then the Lake of Newcastle would neuer haue demanded this question if he had seene Danubius or Nilus but wold at least should haue gathered that if these riuers do incomparably exceed this Lake in bignesse the Sea into which all riuers do run must needs be of a huge and spacious greatnesse so he that hath but read what forces Tamberlaine leuied of late yeares in comparison being at the first but a Neatheard will no doubt if he haue but a dramme of iudgement thereby gather that the power of the Persian Kings did infinitely surpasse the forces of our moderne Kings For Tamberlaine had sixe hundred thousand footmen and foure hundred thousand horsemen when he encountred Baiazet the Turkish Emperour and hauing discomfited two hundred thousand of his men led him away prisoner in fetters of gold Now then if Tamberlaine of a neatheard became so puissant a Prince to what height may we think mounted the Kings of Persia considering that euen from their cradles they were men of matchlesse might which at their dying day they left much more increased For confirmation whereof though many pregnant proofes might be produced yet I will content my selfe with such as historians do affoord as namely how Xerxes one of these Emperours gaue to Themistocles fiue great cities the first for his pantry the second for his celler the third for his kitchin the fourth for his wardrobe and the fift for his bed-chamber And what great thing was this for the King of Persia to giue Verily no more then for a King at this day to giue one or two small villages They further affirme that it is not probable that euer any King should play such prankes as Herodotus reporteth not onely not beseeming their places and persons being Princes but any simple swaines or corridons of the countrey Whereunto I answer that if it were a new thing to see Kings commit facts vnbeseeming their places and persons we might well suspect his report in this behalfe But if it be common and ordinary in euery childs mouth why should we not beleeue it What may some say is it credible that a King should so farre forget himselfe as to expose his naked wife to the view of his seruant as Herodotus affirmeth of King Candaules To which I answer that if Candaules were the onely King that played so shamefull a part we were in some sort to be pardoned if we did not subscribe hereto
so descending as it were by steps and degeees may note and obserue the examples of alterations which haue happened in this age or somewhat before as an Introduction to the Preparatiue treatise of the Apology for Herodotus And first I will begin with the description of the first Age not as it is recorded in Canonicall Scripture which cannot lie but in the Apocryphall writings of Poets who cannot speake the truth being as false fond and fabulous as it is true certaine and vnfallible And I beginne with Poets the rather because most men haue euer bene addicted to the reading of Poemes being thereunto allured by their pleasant fictions which insinuating themselues by little and little into their eares haue in processe of time so setled in their minds that they haue taken deepe rooting therein Whereby we perceiue how men in old time by entertaining of fables and suffering them to lodge and harbour in their minds haue bene brought to beleeue many fond fooleries which haue bene conueyed from hand to hand and deliuered by tradition from father to sonne Whereas the Scripture hath bene locked vp as it were in an vnknowne tongue as well from these great admirers and scorners of antiquitie as from those of whom I am about to speake Nay many who haue had some smattering knowledge therein haue reiected them as more fabulous then meere deuised fables For some poeticall fictions taken originally from the sacred fountaine of veritie as a true storie may be disguised sundry waies seeme more probable in some mens corrupt iudgement then the truth it selfe as shall be exemplified in the Chapter following CHAP. I. A description of the first Age of the world called by Poets Saturnes and the golden Age and how they haue depraued it with their foolish fictions as they haue done other histories in the Bible IF we will giue any credite to Greeke and Latin Poets we must confesse that the first age called by them the golden age was as happy as a man could wish For the ground without tilling or manuring plentifully affoorded all commodities for the life of man which were common to all seeing no man knew what mine and thine meant and consequently were not acquainted with hatred enuie and stealth much lesse with warre and therefore needed not to beare armes against any saue onely as some are of opinion against wilde beasts which they were not greatly to feare neither considering their walles were so high that they could not spring them and so strong that they could not demolish them I say as some are of opinion for others make no exception at all but affirme that wilde beasts were then more gentle and tractable then tame ones are at this day and that those which are now poisonfull and venimous as experience shewes were then nothing dangerous But to leaue this dispute and to prosecute my former description touching the particular wherein all generally accord we shall further beleeue I say that as there were then no lawes so neither was there need of any seeing no man wished the hurt or hinderance of his neighbour neither was sollicited thereto by any meanes Besides they knew not what sicknesse meant and as they were of a strong and sound constitution so did they abound with all things necessary for the sustentation of mans life albeit they knew not of what colour gold siluer copper or other mettals were For men were not then so curious to dig the earth to know what nature had hid in the bowels thereof Besides they minded not the sea neither tooke they triall in what sort the windes did tosse the waues for euery man abode at his owne home like the snaile in her shel or the Monk in his cell nothing curious nor carefull to know what his next neighbours did no more then the old man in Claudian who though he dwelt within a quarter of a mile of Verona or thereabout yet neuer went thither in all his life nor then the Venetian gentleman who being almost foure score and ten yeares old neuer desired to go out of Venice vntill he was confined therein as in a prison This to omit the hony and milken riuers with such like toyes is the summe of that which Poets haue deliuered touching the felicity of that age and of that plaine honest and vpright dealing which was then in vse notwithstanding the great plentie and abundance of all things contrary to the old Greeke prouerb which hath bene found too true of other ages A good land a bad people Now that this Poeticall description of the felicitie of the first age is true in generall if we consider the state of man before the fall we may not denie except we will call the Scripture into question I say in generall not insisting vpon particulars though Poets like wire-drawers extend it further then they are warranted by holy writ which shewes how that immediatly after the fall of our first parents man did eate his bread in the sweâ—te of his browes of which Poets also speake though turkishing the storie or to speake more properly turning it into a meere fable affirming that the great God Iupiter created the world of a huge confused masse which they call Chaos wherein the elements were mingled pel-mell and that Prometheus afterwards formed men of earth tempered with water in the likenesse and similitude of the Gods They adde moreouer that he stole fire from heauen and conueyed it downe to the earth whereaâ— this great God was so highly offended in that men by this meanes found out mechanical arts and sciences that for a punishment he sent them a yong damsell framed by all the Gods each of them hauing bestowed something vpon her some to perfect her in beautie others to make her wanton subtill craftie and full of alluring freights Vulcan hauing formerly framed the body of clay and after infused the soule into it and directed her first to Prometheus who being wary and wise would not receiue her mistrusting some trechery but his vnwise brother Epimetheus willingly accepted of her gaue her entertainment Howbeit he felt the smart of it shortly after and not he onely but all his posteritie after him For this Minion forthwith opened a box whereout issued all manner of euils mischiefes and miseries which haue euer since harboured in the world Now vnder these fables and fictions lay the true story of the creation of our first parents and of their Apostasie as it were masked and disguised For by the first man framed by Prometheus we are to vnderstand Adam and by the yong damsell called Pandora Eue who being brought to Adam was the cause of his fall and by the fire which was stolne from heauen by meanes whereof men came to the knowledge of mechanicall arts the forbidden fruite whereby they had experimentall knowledge of good and euill True it is all Poets stay not here but as it is the custome to amplifie and enlarge mens reports adde that Prometheus fashioning the first man of
earth infused into him somewhat of the nature of euery beast for all of them were then created as namely part of the Lions fury which he instilled into his breast Howbeit poore Prometheus could not escape their sharpe censures for not hauing duly considered of all things appertaining to the constitution of a humane body as for not making windowes in his breast whereby we might see what was in his heart seeing most mens hearts and tongues agree no better then harpe and harrow Againe whereas some say that this Pandora was the first woman that was made others affirme that Prometheus framed a certaine 〈◊〉 number of women immediatly after the creation of man and they blame him more for this second worke then for the first for he ought say they to haue considered sundry things in the framing of this sexe which it seemeth he did not alledging this among the rest that he gaue vnto them as large a tongue as vnto men whereas if they had had but halfe a tongue they would haue pratled more then enough But if Prometheus would make me his Proctour to pleade his cause me thinkes I should not be vnprouided of an answer and though he giue me not my fee nor request me to speake in his behalfe yet I will answer in a word that he knew not that women would prattle more then men neither could he imagine how their tonâ—ues could vtter one thing and their hearts conceiue another No maruell therefore if he did not preuent the inconueniences which he did not foresee But to returne to the arguments which all Poets haue handled with one accord borowing them from the Scripture they tell vs strange tales of god-gastering Giants who heaped mightie mountains one vpon another which might serue them in stead of ladders to scale the heauens whereas the Scripture speakes onely of such as would needs build a Tower whose toppe might reach to heauen neither doth it call them Giants though elsewhere it make mention of such The floud likewise was a common argument with Poets who agree with the Scripture in the cause wherefore it was sent viz. as a punishment for the sinne of man Now in speaking of the golden Age I thought it not amisse to proceed a little further to treate of these Poetical fictions to the end I may shew as occasion shall serue that if these narratioÌ„s being no better then wel qualified fictions for as they are termed fables so are they acknowledged to be no other haue notwithstanding some hidden truth in them when they are diligently sought into and sounded to the bottome we ought not lightly to condemne auncient histories those especially whereunto auncient writers haue subscribed as not hauing the least shew or semblance of truth In the meane time I confesse that as Poets haue disguised yea falsified sundry histories in the Scripture so haue sundry historiographers likewise done as namely Iosephus and Eusebius in his Euangelicall preparation I remember also that when I was in Italie I read in one of their Libraries a fragment of Diodorus Siculus where he speakes of Moses turning him like Proteus into euery forme and fashion And what I beseech you haue some historians written of the originall and religion of the Iewes What haue they also spoken of our blessed Sauiour And though I should grant all these to be fictions in historians yet they shall pardon me if they please if I do not grant that a man transported with a preiudicate opinion may condemne any historie vpon his meere and it may be foolish fancie For as there is no reason that the good should suffer for the bad so neither that true stories should beare part of the punishment due to the false Thus then I returne to the golden Age. CHAP. II. Another description of the first Age of the world called by Poets Saturnes and the golden Age as it is recorded in Scripture after the fall of our first parents And in what sence those two Epithets may be giuen to the Age wherein we liue POëts as I haue shewed a little before confine not the felicitie of the first age of the world described in the former Chapter in so straight and narrow bounds as the Scripture doth but giue it a farre longer time and tearme of yeares For the murder committed by Cain is much more auncient then that committed by Romulus or any mentioned in prophane story Notwithstanding if we make the Scripture Iudge and Vmpire of this controuersie as Christians ought we must needs confesse that simple and plaine dealing continued long after the fall of our first parents in as great and ample measure if not in greater then euer it did since and that men were not so loose and licentious so woluish and malicious in the golden Age as in the ages following in harmlesse innocencie and simplicitie resembling the russet-coates of the country in comparison of subtill citizens So that the murther committed by Cain may seeme as strange considering the time as a murther committed at this day by a countrey Coridon in comparison of one committed by a citizen or Courtier But howsoeuer the mystery of that secret stand certaine it is that such dissolute demeanour and loosenesse of life such riot and excesse such swearing and swaggering was neuer heard of in the prime and infancy of the world as afterward towards the middle Age and as now in the decrepit Age thereof in the decrepite Age I say if we may beleeue our eyes or iudge by the course and cariage of things or credit such as are better able to iudge of such questions then our selues Neuerthelesse vnder correction of better iudgement I am of opinion that it fareth with the vniuerse or great world as with man the litle world in that The older it waxeth the more it doteth For he that shall seriously consider the guise of the world at this day cannot but say that it doteth extreamely and that it resembles the age of our good grandsire gray-bearded Saturne whose old and auncient name it may iustly challenge to it selfe though on the other side it may well be called the golden Age in the sence that Ouid applied it to his owne when he saith Aurea nunc verè sunt saecula plurimus auro Venit honos auro conciliatur amor That is Golden is our latest worlds age most iustly reported Gold alone our loue buyes gold onely purchaseth honor CHAP. III. How some haue ascribed too much to Antiquitie and others derogated too much from it LEt vs now consider whether by our former description of the first Age it may appeare whereon these great admirers and contemners of antiquitie rest and rely themselues And let vs in the first place examine the reasons which they alledge for confirmation of their opinions First then we are to obserue that the ouer-great reuerence which some haue borne to antiquitie is sufficiently testified by certaine Latine phrases as when we say Nihil antiquius habui that is word
thing that our kind Catholickes are not it seemes of this opinion considering what small conscience they make hereof The like I may say of those who were wont to lodge Nuns neare vnto Monkes that as good fellows speake the barne might be neare the thrashers How euer it be it appeareth plainly by that which hath bene alledged out of Pontanus that Nunneries were little better then stewes in the time of the former Preachers Touching the sinne against nature of which I speake remembring my former protestation we haue examples euen of those times For the foresaid Pontanus writeth of a Brittan who had the companie of an Asse whilest the French King Charles the eight held Naples It were also easie to alledge moderne examples of wiues murthering their husbands and husbands ther wiues as also of brethren and nearest kinsmen embrewing their hands in one anothers bloud and of children murthering their parents and parents their children though this be more rare then the former When husbands murther their wiues or wiues their husbands they do it for the most part of spite or rather rage and madnesse caused by breach of wedlocke For as histories make mention of diuers men who at the very instant and in ipso facto as we say haue taken reuenge of their wiues who had played false with them So they make report of women who for the same reason haue wreaked their malice vpon their husbands some by poison others by other meanes as we reade in Baptista Fulgosius of a woman neare to Narbonne who in the night cut off her husbands priuities because he had defiled the marriage bed Notwithstanding the occasion of some murthers proceeds from both parties desiring to enioy their vnlawfull lusts with greater libertie The cause of fratricide or murthers committed by one brother vpon another arise for the most part from hence in that they cannot agree whether of them should remaine absolute Lord and so are enforced to decide their right by dint of sword whereof we haue very auncient examples in the two Theban brethren Eteocles and Polynices in Rhemus and Romulus in Artaxerxes and Cyrus and in the age last past wherewith I compare the present there was such hot bickering at Tunis in Africa betweene two brethren for the crowne that they did not only kill one another in the quarrel but also massacred their children and ofspring as Pontanus testifieth But histories affoord vs moe examples of such as haue murthered their brethren vpon light occasions by treason or otherwise when once they had them on the hip especially of Italians as Volaterran reporteth of Anthonie Câ—â—signore who slue Bartholmew his brother to the end he might enioy the Dukedome of Verona which was deuided betweene them by their fathers will In like manner how one Pinus Ordelaphus vpon the like occasion slue his brother Francis and banished his children As also how Francis and Lewis sonne of Guido Gonzagua Duke of Mantua slue their brother Vgolin pretending to make good cheare at a supper to which they had inuited him because their father had left him sole heire of the Dukedome Moreouer we reade of one Perinus Fregosa Duke of Genoua who slue his brother Nicholas hauing him in iealousie that he aspired to the Dukedome In like sort Lewis Marie put Galeace his brothers sonne to death to the end he might the more quietly enioy the Dukedome of Millaine Touching murthering of parents properly called parricide though the signification of the word be somewhat more large we find in auncient histories that it was more ordinary with Kings Princes and great Lords then with meaner men and so it continues euen to this day For the Emperour Fredericke the third was slaine by his owne sonne Manfred his base sonne as some affirme at leastwise he was the plotter and procurer of his death And one Frisque murthered his father the duke of Ferrara to the end he might come to the Dukedome as indeed he did though he enioyed it not long for his subiects shortly after executing Gods iust iudgement vpon him cut his throate And doubtlesse the age last part can neuer wash it hands of this wickednesse albeit I produce no examples for confirmation hereof hastening to end such discourses as should not onely be offensiue to Christian eares but also make their very haires stand vpright on their heads What say I Christians Nay the very heathen also yea the most barbarous and sauage among them CHAP. XI That the notorious and incredible leudnesse of these times doth iustifie that which hath bene spoken of the wickednesse and impietie of the Age last past ALbeit there go strange reports of the hainous and horrible sinnes which raigned in the former Age yet if we shall but a little consider the course of the world and listen to the common complaints we shall find would to God it were not so far fouler facts which will not onely induce vs to subscribe to the truth of that report but further to confesse that the sinnes of those times were but sugar as it is in the French prouerbe in comparison of the villanies of these wherein we liue I haue heretofore giuen a reason why sinne like a riuer the further it goes the greater it growes and still increaseth till it come to be a great sea But we may giue one more speciall touching these times For besides that we haue trod in the steps of our ancestors and followed their examples as well in the carefull keeping of the vices whereof they left vs their heires and successors as in improuing the old and purchasing of the new by our good husbandry we haue further increased the number of them by our trafficke and commerce with other countries a thing more common at this day then euer it was in former times to whom an hundred miles seemed longer then fiue hundred to vs and for one that was curious to know the fashions of forreine countries there are now a dayes ten whom this gadding humour of rouing and ranging abroad and coasting countries carieth away causing them to giue a farewell to their friends and to forsake their dearest countrey kinsmen and acquaintance But what fruite reape they by such trauell at leastwise what do the most reape It was Horace his old song Coelum non animum mutant qui trans mare currunt That is They change the aire that seas do passe But mind remaines the same that was But if in crossing the sea they haply change their mind it is but as the weather-cocke doth with the wind for they are so farre from being bettered by their trauell that they are made much worse mending their manners no otherwise then sower Ale doth in sommer The reason whereof is mans inbred corruption which hath an attractiue facultie to draw vice vnto it as Amber doth a straw or the loadstone iron Whence it is that as ill weed according to the old prouerbe growes with speed so vice hath his continuall though insensible growth in vs
bookes ensuing notwithstanding because it will not be preiudiciall but rather beneficiall to the Reader I am easily drawne to dispense with my selfe herein Marke then the story of the sleight and pollicie or rather sleights and pollicies of one Villon not borne in France but in Aegypt and that not some few yeares since but aboue fiue and twentie hundred yeares ago which story taken out of HERODOTVS I will here translate with greater fidelitie then either Laurentius Valla in his Latin translation such as it was before my refining of it or the French which is now extant These therefore are his words A King of Aegypt called Rampsinit minding to lay vp his treasure in a safe place whereof he had far greater store then euer any of his successors he built a house all of hewen stone a part whereof stood out from the other building to which there was easie accesse But the Mason being disposed to play the knaue with him left a stone loose in the building which might easily be taken out of the wall by two or if need were by one The worke being finished the King layd vp his treasure therein After a time the Mason perceiuing that his glasse was almost runne and the lease of his life wel neare expired called vnto him his two sonnes and told them how to the end he might leaue them wel prouided for and that they might haue wherewith to make merry when he was gone he had vsed a fine deuice in building the closet for the Kings treasure and hauing shewed them in particuler how they should take out the stone he gaue them the measure of it assuring theÌ„ that if they kept it carefully they should be keepers of the Kings treasure Their father being dead they stayed not long befoâ—e they assayed the meanes prescribed For comming shortly after to the Kings pallace in the night and finding the stone they tooke it out very easily and stole the◠〈◊〉 â—ightie masse of mony The King comming thither not long after and perceiuing that his coffers were not so ful as they were accustomed wondered not a little yet could not tell whom he might accuse considering all the doores were surely locked and all things sealed as he had left them But comming thither the second and third time and perceiuing that his treasury diminished dayly for the theeues repaired thither continually he caused â—innes and snares to be seâ— round about the place where the treasure lay The theeues repairing thither as they were accustomed one of them hauing entred in and coming neare to the coffers perceiued that he was intangled in a snare and knowing in what danger he was called to his brother and told him what misfortune had befallen him willing him to come in quickly and to cut off his head for said he if I be found here and knowne I shall be the cause of thy death also His brother being â—asily perswaded as liking well his aduice did as he had bidden him And hauing layd the stone in his place again returned home carying with him his brothers head The King coming to his closet early in the morning was exceedingly amazed to see the theeues body in the snare without a head especially coÌ„sidering there was no breach in the wall by which he might enter in Departing therfore thence he did as followeth He commanded that the dead corpes should be hung vpon the wall committing the custodie thereof to his guard straightly charging and commaunding them that if they espied any that did mourne or bewray any griefe or compassion at the sight thereof they should attach them and bring them before him The mans mother much perplexed that her sons body was thus hung vp came to her other son desiring him to deuise some meanes to take downe his brothers body threatning him that if he would not she would informe the King that he was the man that had stolen his treasure He hauing bene sundry times threatned and rated by his mother in this sort and perceiuing that she would not desist for all the reasons he could alledge deuised this sleight He sadled certaine Asses and lading them with rundlets of wine draue them before him and being come to the place where the guard watched the corps he let loose the hoopes of the barrels making way for the wine to runne out and then began to cry out and to beate his head as not knowing to which of the asses he should run first The guard seeing so much wine spilt ranne thither with vessels thicke and threefold thinking the more they saued the more they should gain Where he in the meane time faining as though he had bene horne mad for anger reuiled and cursed them all But seeing they spake him so faire and entertained him with so good language he made shew by little and little as though he had bene pacified and had forgotten his former furious fit and after much ado hauing gotten his Asses out of the way he mended his barrels Now among other speeches which passed betweene them in the meane time one of the companie being very pleasant brake a iest vpon him which made his worship laugh in lieu whereof he bestowed one of his barrels vpon him which they resolued to draw drie and to carouse of in the same place and plight they were in intreating him to beare them companie Whereunto he condescended and stayd with them And because they had so kindly entertained him and made him such sport he presented them with a second barrell so that hauing that blessed abundance euen wine at will they neuer left tipling and carowsing till their wits stood wetshod and being in the end ouercome with sleep they rested in the same place He then in the dead time of the night went and tooke downe his brothers body and to the further disgrace of the guard shaued all their right cheekes and laying the body vpon one of his Asses returned home againe hauing fully accomplished his mothers desire The King hearing that the body was stolen as highly displeased and resoluing by some meanes to find out the theefe that had committed the fact he vsed this deuice which notwithstanding I can scarce beleeue He commaunded his daughter to go to a brothel-house and there to prostitute her self to all comers vpon condition they should first acquaint her with the most notorious fact and cunningest knauery that euer they committed and that he that should confesse the stealing of the theeues carcasse should forthwith be attached by her and sent to the Court. Whilest then the Kings daughter addressed her selfe to fulfill her fathers mind the rumour of the Kings intended resolution came to the theefes eares who purposing to shew that he was more crafty in preuenting then the King in inuenting this wile thus deluded his daughter he cut off a mans hand newly dead and keeping it close vnder his gowne went to visit her Where she asked him the same question she had demaunded of others Wherupon he told
if she did not restore it again tooke him aside and leading him into a corner apart told him secretly True it is indeed I cut your purse and put it in my basket among the rest so that I know not which of them it is see if you can know it better then my selfe And thus she made him looke for it in her basket which was almost full of them I haue also heard of an old woman who seeing a poore wench much grieued for that her purse was cut told her that she knew a good remedie for it Deale quoth she as thou hast bene dealt with The wench easily perswaded to follow her aduice did so and so it was that in the first purse which she cut she found her owne purse againe 20 But before I proceed to prosecute the second kind of theft I will shew a pitifull and lamentable thing accompanying these poore wretches executed for robberies more to be bewailed at this day then euer For where there is one that is touched with remorse of conscience or confesseth his offence before he giue his last farewel to the world or call to God for mercie there are ten that die like dogs hauing no more feeling of the frowne or fauour the iustice or mercy of God then bruite beasts And how many are there I beseech you who are turned off the ladder whilest they are in their gibes and iests One being in this case said Sirs see you tell not my friends that you saw me on the gallowes for so you may chance make me runne mad Another Masters tell me in good faith do you think I wold euer haue come hither if I had not bin brought Another when his ghostly father bad him plucke vp a good heart for he should surely go that day to Paradise O sir quoth he it will suffice if I come thither to morrow night Another when Sir Iohn told him My friend I assure you you shall suppe this night with God in heauen answered Go and sup there your selfe for I am purposed to fast to day or Go you in my roome and I will pay your shot Another being vpon the ladder asked for drinke and because the hang-man dranke before him he said he durst not pledge him for feare of the French poxe Another being led to the gallows said he would not go through such a street for feare of the plague Another I wil not passe through such a lane for I am indebted to one there who will arrest me Another said to the hang-man now ready to turne him off looke well what thou doest for if thou tickle me thou wilt make me start But this of a Picard is most famous of all the rest to whom being vpon the ladder they brought a poore weather-beaten wench that had miscaried telling him that if he would promise vpon his faith and saluation to take her to wife they would saue his life whereupon desiring to see her go and perceiuing that she was lame and that she limped he turned himselfe to the hang-man and said Attaque attaque elle eloque Dispatch dispatch she halteth And I remember that being at supper in Auspurge with Charles de Marillac then Bishop of Vienna and Ambassadour for the French King when this story was told a Dutch gentleman who was at the table paralleled it with another very like of an accident that happened in Denmarke to wit of a man adiudged to the block to whom being vpon the scaffold they brought a woman that had trod awry offering him the same condition they had done the former where the fellow hauing viewed her well and perceiuing that she had a sharpe nose and flat cheekes said he would not buy repentance so deare vttering withall a Dutch prouerbe in rime the meaning whereof is this vnder a sharpe nose and flat cheekes there is no good to be found I remember also that it was concluded out of these examples at that supper that whores in former times were more hated and abhorred then at this day But to leaue this discourse and to returne in a word to the iests and scoffes of these wicked wretches I will onely adde this one thing that if there were nothing else to shew the power and efficacie of Gods word where it hath free passage this alone were sufficient to proue that where mens consciences are touched to the quicke such euents are seldome or neuer seene because the word of God teaching what eternall life and eternall death meane and piercing through as the Apostle saith euen to the diuiding of the soule and the spirit causeth the stoutest champions and most desperate ruffians seriously to bethinke themselues of their future estate whereas mens forged and deuised doctrines vnder colour of religion dull some and minister vnto others matter of laughter 21 I proceed now to the second kind of theft which I kept in store for women I meane that whereby they hornifie their husbands And here calling adultery theft I follow the Latine where furtum which properly signifieth theft is often taken for adulterium that is adultery For which cause it is called by a periphrasis furtiua Venus furtiua voluptas furtiua gaudia and furtiua nox The like circumlocutions being vsed also in Greeke And so a child begotten in adultery is called in French Vn enfant desrobé And verily all things being duly considered it will be found that there is no theft comparable to this if we regard the common saying That which is worth the stealing is worth the restoring Which cannot be said of the theft we now speake of for how can a woman restore that vnto her husband which she stealeth not from him but rather alienateth and loseth in suffering it to be taken from her or what honorable satisfaction may make amends for such a fault Therefore it was excellently said by the wittiest of all the Latine Poets nulla reparabilis arte Laesa pudicitia est deperit illa semel Who also in a ciuill and modest manner doth not onely expresse adultery by this or the like phrases Laedere pudorem which signifieth word for word to hurt or wrong ones chastitie but by others also which properly signifie theft as when he saith Auferre pudorem and rapere pudorem Of the first we haue an example in the second booke of his Metamorphosis in these words Et silet laesi da◠signa rubore pudoris Of the second in the sixt Aut linguam atque oculos quae tibi membra pudorem Abstulerant ferro rapiam And in the first tenuitque fugam rapuitque pudorem And in the Epistle of Helena to Paris Nec spolium nostri turpe pudoris habe Which is spoken of a married man and of her of whom he deliuered that excellent saying formerly mentioned In which phrases we are to obserue the word pudor shame which signifieth that a woman committing such a fact doth not only loose her good name as we say in French Oster l'honneur
that recorded by Herodotus viz. that the son succeeding in his fathers office who had bene a corrupt Iudge should be forced to sit vpon his fathers skinne we may assure our selues they would looke a little better about them neither would they so eagerly pursue nor so greedily gape after offices as they do But I feare me such Lawyers wil answer that when that punishment mētioned by Herodotus was inflicted vpon this Iudge offices were not set to sale and sold by the drumme as now they are seeing this customary buying and selling of offices began but of late yeares and therfore that they had great reason to looke a little better to their places whereas the hast which men make now a dayes to fill their bags againe causeth them now and then to forget their dutie They may further alleadge that whereas Herodotus reporteth that a yong girle about 8. or 9. yeares of age said vnto her father Looke to your selfe father least this man corrupt you with his bribes they on the contrary are sollicited by wife and children by friends and kinsmen to take euery present that is offered Now albeit this excuse may passe for currant with men yet the question is whether he before whom they must one day giue an account of their stewardship will take it for good paiment questionlesse they may assure themselues he wil not But to returne to the impunitie formerly mentioned if we consider how the course of iustice is peruerted and how they who should remedy and redresse it are the greatest agents for it we shall not greatly wonder at the matter And where they should begin to punish such as offend in this kind I make them their owne iudges For say they should punish some malefactors yet what likelihood is there they should punish those to whom they secretly giue the watchword not to do as they enioyne them in their letters missiue But I will not prosecute this point any further seeing a word is enough to the wise onely let me for a conclusion of this chapter parallele this ancient history in Herodotus with a moderne example which seemes to sute and second it in this very point touching rigor and seuerity in the execution of iustice much differing from the impunitie which raigneth at this day The story is recorded in Froissard where he recounteth a fact of Baiaget the Turkish Emperour whom he calleth Amorabaquin by the name of his father being accompanied with certaine French Lords who vpon the receipt of their ransome were newly set at libertie in the raigne of Charles the sixt king of France His words are these Moreouer it happened that whilest the Earle of Neuer◠and other French Lords were in the Court with Amorabaquin a poore woman came with a petition to the Emperour desiring she might haue iustice against one of his seruants for it was his pleasure that iustice aboue all things should be kept inuiolably throughout all his dominions who made her complaint in this sort My Lord ô King I come vnto thee as to my Soueraigne to complaine of one of the groomes of thy chamber who came lately into my house and drunke vp my Goates milke which I had prouided for my selfe and my children for all the day I told him that if he did offer me that wrong I would complaine vnto thee and I had no sooner spoken the word but he gaue me two boxes on the eare and would not forbeare though I threatned to complaine vnto thee Do iustice my Lord ô King and take order that I may be recompenced for the iniury he hath done me that all men may know that thy will and pleasure is to rule thy people with iustice and equitie according to thy oath and promise The Emperour gaue good eare to her words and said With all my heart And thereupon caused his Turkish seruant to be brought before him and the woman also commanding her to renew her complaint The man who was terribly afraid of the Emperour excused himselfe and said that there was not a word true of all that she had said The woman replied both wisely and boldly affirming that she spake nothing but the truth At these words the Emperour made a little pause and said Woman be well aduised what thou sayest for if I find thine accusation to be false thou shalt die a cruel death She answered Be it so my Lord ô King for if it were not true I should haue had no cause to haue troubled thee therefore do me iustice I aske no more I will do iustice said the Emperour for I am sworne to do it to all my subiects within my dominions And immediatly he caused certaine of his Iannizaries to apprehend his groome and to open his belly for otherwise he could not haue knowne whether he had drunke her milke or not who finding it to be as she had said for it was not yet digested in his stomacke informed the Emperour thereof Who vnderstanding that her cause was iust said vnto her Thou didst not complaine without cause now go thy way thou hast iustice for the wrong that was done thee and forthwith caused her to be recompenced for her losse Thus the man that had committed that fact was punished The French Lords who were at the Court with Amorabaquin saw this iudgement executed This historie I thought good to parallele with that of Herodotus for that in this point of seueritie they seeme to haue some similitude and agreement albeit as well the actions as the persons vpon whom the punishment was inflicted be somewhat different Howbeit I denie not but that this fact of Amorabaquin ought to be termed crueltie or temeritie rather then seueritie in that the theft which he punished was but pettie larcenie and the partie not conuicted thereof by order of law But like enough the Emperours intent was to terrifie others by his example I could further alleadge sundry other examples of like rigour and seueritie exercised by Iudges and that vpon their nearest kinsmen And not to seeke farre off for examples we reade in the French Chronicles of certaine Kings who haue done the like But that which should especially moue Princes to execute iustice though they had no regard of him who will one day call them to a reckoning is the example of those who through neglect or for default thereof haue first wasted and after lost their countries And if we consider the great change and alteration which is to be seene at this day as well in this as in other things we may well wonder thereat for it is well knowne that fiftie pardons are granted with lesse suite at this day then fiue could be obtained two hundred yeares ago And we haue heard how a Iudge of Paris who was liuing within these hundred yeares would vse the same reasons for the due execution of iustice which men vse now a dayes to hinder the same For whereas we say he is a yong man and in the Aprill of his age it were
plurimas sed nec duas simul habere licituÌ„ est nisi vnam tantùm aut vxoreÌ„ aut certè loco vxorâ—s si coniux acest concubinam Whereupon Priests inferred that seeing such liberty was granted to common Christians by vertue of this text they which made others Christians had a larger priuiledge and so haue vtterly reiected mariage as too strict a rule But as for keeping of concubines they so notoriously abused themselues and their neighbours wiues that Germany in the raigne of the Emperour Maximilian amongst many other grieuances against the Church of Rome called Grauamina exhibited two to this effect concerning the foresaid tribute grau 75. Insuper etiam clericos religiososque saeculares accepto ab eisdem annuo censu publicè cum suis concubinis pellicibus alijs id genus meretricibus illegitimè cohabitare liberosque procreare sinunt Againe grau 91. Item in locis plerisque Episcopi corum officiales non solùm tolerant sacerdotum concubinatum dummodo certa persoluatur pecunia sed sacerdotes continentes qui absque concubinis degunt concubinatus censum persoluere cogunt asserentes Episcopum pecuniae indigum esse quâ solutâ licere sacerdotibus vt vel coelibes permaneant vel concubinas alant But they not content with their concubines or whores haue further by subtill sleights abused honest and chast matrons For proofe whereof the Queene of Nauarre relateth a very memorable and tragicall history which I will here briefly set downe There was a Franciscan lodging in the house of a gentleman of Perigort whom the Frier ruled at his pleasure and by reason that he was his confessor was very inward with him who being priuie and after a sort author of the purpose which the gentleman had to lie that night with his wife deliuered but 3. weekes before played his part so well that he came before the appointed time in stead of her husband And hauing satisfied his lust went away vnknowne vnto her because he spake neuer a word going presently to the porter willed him to open the gate and to helpe him to his horse making him easily beleeue what he listed by reasoÌ„ of the great credit he was in Afterward came her husband at the time appointed where she thinking it had bin he who was newly departed from her could not refraine but vsed certaine speeches vnto him wherby he perceiued the knauish part that had bin playd him And because there lodged none in that part of the house but his wiues brother the Franciscan he suspected the Frier and hyed him straight to his chamber but found him not which greatly increased his suspition But hauing spoken with the porter he was fully perswaded that it was he indeed Whereupon he returned back to bring his wife word how the matter stood which did so exceedingly perplexe her and driue her into such a desperate furious fit that being there all alone her husband hauing left her to pursue the Frier she hanged her selfe and as she strugled too and fro in the agony of this cruell death she killed her little babe with a blow of her foot Who being ready to giue vp the ghost cried out so loud that it awaked a woman lying in the chamber who hauing beheld this pitifull spectacle all amazed and affrighted ranne to looke for her mistris brother who being come and seeing his sister in this lamentable estate after many outcries and deepe sighes asked her who it was that had committed that horrible fact she answered she knew not but this she knew for certen that none came into the chamber but her master Wherupon he presently ransacked euery corner of the house to find him out and finding him not was the rather perswaded that he and none but he had committed the murther Thereupon he tooke horse and hotly pursued him and watching him by the way as he returned from following the Franciscan whom he could not ouertake he no sooner saw him but calling him dastard and villaine drew vpon him The other hauing no leisure to enquire the cause of such an assault was faine to stand vpon his guard And thus they continued foining and fighting till in the end what with bleeding what with wearinesse they were constrained to surcease Then the gentleman vnderstanding of his brother in law that he was innocent and ignorant of the fact and hearing what the Franciscan had done and how that whilest he was pursuing him this other mischiefe had happened he cried him mercy for wounding of him and getting him on his horse as well as he could brought him to his house where he died the next morning confessing to his kinsfolks and acquaintance that himselfe was the cause of his owne death Howbeit his brother in law was counselled for satisfying of the law to sue for his pardon to King Francis the first which he obtained By which story we see that the inordinate lust of a Monke was the death of three persons But we shall hereafter heare of a more horrible fact committed by another of the same coate a Frier of the same fry who with his owne hands committed three murthers to atchieue his mischieuous purpose which was to haue his pleasuâ—e of a gentlewoman of the house where he lay for the effecting whereof his purpose was to conuey her to his couent But I will reserue this narration for the Chapter where I intend to speake of murthers and manslaughters Meane while this one thing I must needs say by the way that it was an vsual thing with those displing Friers in former times to conuey gentlewomen to their Cloisters stealing them away either in the Church when for deuotion they stayed somewhat longer then their fellowes or in some other place where they might do it conueniently As may appeare by that knowne storie of a gentlewoman who was rescued by her husband as she passed by his house coming from a couent of the Franciscans where she had bin long time prisoner to go to another there to be exchanged for another woman being conducted by certaine ghostly fathers apparelled and pouleshorne as they were But lest any should thinke that there neither is nor euer was any such danger for gentlewomen to fall into the hands of these false Fryers I am not in such hast but that I can tell you what befell a butcher of Strasbourgh some few yeares before the Franciscans were expelled thence How that hauing lost his wife thinking she had bin dead and so she was indeed to him but not to the Franciscans who kept her cum poto cochleari at bed and boord as Menot speaketh seeing a Nouice which came ordinarily to the shambles with a ghostly father he was wont to say that he did so wel resemble his wife that had he not bin perswaded she were dead he should thinke it was she disguised in strange attire In the end it was well knowne that the poore butcher had good cause to thinke so and
Gregory Champion Clement Westfield Iohn Crosse Thomas Crambrooke Thomas Bayll Iohn Hamfield Iohn Iherom Clement Grigge Richard Touey and Iohn Austine Other Sodomites in the Church of Canterbury among the Monkes of Saint Benet are these Richard Godmershan William Litchfield Christopher Iames Iohn Goldingston Nicholas Clement William Cawston Iohn Ambrose Thomas Farleg and Thomas Morton Other Sodomites in the Cathedrall Church of Chichester Iohn Champion and Roger Barham Item in the Monastery of Saint Augustine Thomas Barham sodomite The catalogue of whoremasters and adulterers is too long and therefore I will speake onely of their stoutest champions that is of those who kept many whores some of which like towne-buls not contenting themselues with a round halfe dozen had nine others eleuen in remembrance of the eleuen thousand virgins others thirteene and some twenty But because I will not depriue them of the honour giuen to their fellowes these are their names In the Church of Canterbury among the Monkes of S. Benet Christopher Iamys played the whoremonger onely with three maried women William Abbot of Bristow had but foure whores whereof one was maried In Windsor Castle Nicholas Whyden priest had but foure In the same place George Whitethorne had fiue Nicholas Spoter fiue Robert Hunne fiue Robert Danyson sixe Richard Priour of Maydenbeadley fiue In the Monastery of Shulbred in the Diocesse of Chichester George Walden Priour had seuen Iohn Standney seuen Nicholas Duke fiue In the Monastery of Bathe Richard Lincombe had seuen whereof three were maried he was a Sodomite besides In the Cathedrall Church of Chichester Iohn Hill had but thirteene This is much may some say but what is it to Iohn White Priour of Bermondsey who had twenty It is commonly thought that there were aboue 400. Couents of sundry sorts of Monkes and Nunnes in England besides those that belonged to the begging Friers which were nigh two hundred Now let the Reader calculate how many bastards there were then in England I meane Monks bastards begottē of strumpets And if there had bin a visitation of Religious houses throughout France Italy and Spaine at the same time let the Reader iudge what sweet doings would haue bin found At the same time I say because their dealing in the darke was not then so plainly discouered and layd open as it hath bin of late time and therefore they had farre better meanes to defray such charges and to bleare the eyes of the world then euer they had since Hitherto I haue said nothing of Germany for albeit it be of greater extent then any of the former yet it is thought to haue bin more barren of such bastard slips I meane these Friers brats and lesse pestered with such vermine Howbeit we need not doubt but that they also haue followed the game as well as their fellowes At least this we reade in the arraignement of the Iacobins of Berne that they were found feasting and making merry in the Couent among fine dames not in the habit of Monks but of gentlemen 6 Further there go sundry other reports of Franciscans and Iacobins who haue bin taken leading their strumpets about with them attired like nouices And verily it was a politick course of theirs to permit their displing Friers to leade nouices about in this sort for vnder that pretext they had alwayes a Ganimede or a whore by their side Howbeit I perswade my selfe that since a Franciscans nouice was deliuered of a child in a ferry boate as they crossed ouer the riuer Garumna a fact almost as strange as the deliuery of Pope Ioane they haue bin a litle more wary in obseruing the old rule Si non castè tamen cautè If not chastly yet charily 7 Now it is not of late yeares onely in this age or in that wherein Menot liued that these stoned Priests haue manifested by their practises how the poore people were abused in beleeuing that there was as great difference between them and Seculars in regard of fleshly concupiscence as betweene cocks and capons For in a booke written against the Carmelites about the yeare 1270. called The firy dart this to omit other particulars was layd to their charge The principall cause of all your gadding to and fro in towne and country is not to visit the fatherlesse but damsels not widowes which are in griefe and anguish of spirit but yong wanton wenches and Beguines Nunnes and naughty packs He that thus reproued and admonished them being the generall of their order who since that time resigned vp his place and forsooke his cowle also as some affirme Guil. de sancto Amore who liued about the yeare 1256. saith no lesse The begging Friers saith he leade Beguines about the country with them which way soeuer they go groūding their practise vpon the place of S. Paul Haue we not power to leade about a sister a wife See here gentle Reader what these silly soules said in those dayes But what would they haue said may we thinke if they had heard of such a fry of fornicating Fryers as hath bin mentioned Moreouer to the end they might more finely flout both God and men they haue made no bones that I may adde one thing more touching their Beguines whom they caried about with them to forge and frame a religion according to which their Monks and Nuns after they had made some proofe of their continency lay wallowing together like swine in the filth of their fornication in the meane time bearing the world in hand that though they companied together in this sort yet that they were no more tempted with carnall concupiscence then two logs of wood lying one by the other 8 And thus much of the pranks playd by these Frier-dockers Now in winding vp of this Chapter I will resolue this one question Why Monks and Fryers are called Beaux-peres Ghostly fathers One considering their doings in the darke and insisting vpon the word peres that is fathers made these verses in imitation of a Latin Distich Or ça Iacobins Cordeliers Augustins Carmes bordeliers D'où vient qu'on vous nomme Beaux-peres C'est qu'à l'ombre du Crucifix Souuent faisons filles ou filz En accointant des belles meres That is Ye Iacobins Carmelites Cordeliers Augustines and all ye fornicating Friers How came ye by the ghostly fathers names For vnder the Crucifixe and high Aulters We wont to get vs sonnes and daughters In kind acquaintance with our ghostly dames But to leaue ieasting for the author of this Hexastich was merrily disposed albeit he slaundered them as we know but with a matter of truth I am of opinion that Beaux-peres is all one as if a man should say Beaux-vieillards Faire old men which I do the rather thinke because 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a word of the vulgar Greek seemeth to be corrupted of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that is faire and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that is an old man which Epithete argues that they haue
the first time for they had done no more then the Bishop of Caua the Bishop of Greguetto did once in a Councel Moreouer these two prouerbs call another to mind viz. the face of an Abbot which being an auncient by-word perswadeth me that Abbots in old time had firy faces Touching the Cardinall of the bottels or flagons he may well thinke that I did him great wrong if I should here forget him howbeit I will not make a custome of it because it would make me remember the iniury and disgrace which the Italians commonly offer vs in calling vs tosse-pots Now if these iolly Prelates shall say that when they make good cheare their table talke is nothing but good and honest Oliuer Maillard will tel them they lie in their throates and that they talke of nothing but of whoredome and lechery for these are his words Vadatis ad mensam Praelatorum vel Dominorum magnatum semper loquuntur de luxuria vel aliquibus detrahunt ille qui viliùs loquitun dicitur melior 2 But here we are to answer an obiectioÌ„ which might haply be made against that which hath bin said for some may say that it is not vnlike but that ChaÌ„nons Priours Abbots and other the Popes grosse gorbellies should make good cheare and that they might well be accounted stark fooles if they did not thus pleasantly passe away the time seeing that all the trauail they take and suite which they make for the obtaining of benefices and Ecclesiasticall promotions is for no other end As we reade of one who before he was Pope was the most crouching submisse Cardinall that euer was lodged in an ouen for his manner was to eate vpon a net as it were in way of deuout humility but after he had obtained the Popedome he commaunded them to take away the net saying he had caught that which he fished for But as for such a lurry and rable of poore farthing Friers who haue neither rent nor reuenue nor a foote of land to liue vpon who are therefore called pedlars of relikes because they liue onely vpon the almes of well disposed persons and granmercies and those who are called Mendicants that is begging Fryers what probability is there they should haue wherewith to make good cheare The obiection me thinks is easily answered if we call to mind the common saying There is no life to the beggars when they haue layd all their cantels together But howsoeuer the mystery of that secret staÌ„d it is not without cause that we say he is a frier as who should say he is a good fellow and a bon companion who mindeth nothing but merrily to passe away the time Neither is it without cause that we say He is as fat as a Monke of which I haue already spoken Howbâ—it we vse I confesse this word AS in our prouerbs as when we say As fat as a hog or As fat as a pig And that there is indeed some correspondence analogie or hidden sympathy between swine and Friers taking Friers in puris naturalibus their good S. Anthony hath well declared who being a swineheard in his life time would needs at his death take vpon him the charge of a heard of Friers though they who runne vp and downe the country crying Haue you any thing to bestow vpon my Lord S. Anthonies swine make him a very swineheard indeed and as his Legend saith he was in his dayes an Archimandrite or gouernor of Monks witnesse the Epigramme ensuing Diceris Antoni porcos pauisse subulcus Viuus adhuc Monachos lumine cassus alis Par stupor ingenij est ventrisque abdomen vtrisque Sorde pari gaudent ingluuieque pari Nec minùs hoc brutum genus est mutúmve suillo Nec minùs insipidum nec minus illepidum Caetera conueniunt sed non leuis error in vno est Debucrat Monachis glans cibus esse tuis Which one hath thus turned Once fedst thou Anthony an heard of swine And now an heard of Monkes thou feedest still For wit and gut alike both charges bin Both louen filth alike both like to fill Their greedy paunch alike Nor was that kind More beastly sottish swinish then this last All else agrees one fault I onely find Thou feedest not thy Monkes with oken mast Another Scot also made a Latin Epigram wherein he makes some doubt whether the swineheard and gardian of Friers be the same S. Anthony or not but in the end he resolues the case thus Credibile est Circen mutasse potentibus herbis In Monachosque sues inque sues Monachos That is T' is like that Circe by her spels deuine Hath turned swine to Monkes and Monkes to swine But to search no further for moe testimonies let vs content our selues with one of their owne comprised in these goodly verses Sanctus Dominicus sit nobis semper amicus Cui canimus nostro iugiter praeconia rostro De cordis venis siccatis antè lagenis Ergo tuas laudes si tu nos pangere gaudes Tempore paschali fac ne potu puteali Conueniat vti quod si fit vndique muti Semper erunt fratres qui non curant nisi ventres See here gentle Reader the testimonies which themselues giue of their Sardanaple-like sobrietie For doubtlesse it cannot be but that these verses were made either by a Frier speaking in sober sadnesse without hypocrisie or by one into whose body some Friers soule entred causing him to speake so Frier like At leastwise this testimonie agreeth with it excellent well O Monachi vestri stomachi sunt amphora Bacchi Vos estis Deus est testis teterrima pestâ—s 3 As for those silly soules the singlesoled priests which professe not so austere and strict a life being onely Masse-mongers by their occupation they haue great reason questionlesse to drinke of none but of the best And therfore I hold a certaine Sir Iohn a gentlemans chaplaine excused who â—â—siring the Butler to giue him of the best wine but being serued with the worst tooke this cast of his office so to heart thinking it so great a disparagement and so hainous an indignitie that when he perceiued him on a time at Masse he grew into such a mad mood that he lost his voice he gentleman on the other side being in great hast and desiring only a hunting the Masse because his horses stood readie for him at the Church gate fell into a pelting chafe by reason of so long a pause seeing Sir Iohn protracted that which he desired might haue bin abridged But in the end he was glad to send his page to aske him what flie had so sodainly stung him Sir Iohn answered that there was one in the company that was excommunicate which hindred his proceeding and hauing told the lacky sent vnto him the second time to know the party that it was his butler he gentleman was easily perswaded to send him away which done he went on roundly with the Masse Whereupon the poore Butler had
fact Where it was also found partly by his owne confession partly by proofe and information giuen to the commissioners appointed for that purpose that a number of gentlewomen and other beautiful maids had bin conueyed into that monastery after the same manner that this Franciscan would haue caried her away Whereupon after that the women detained by them in the monastery were had out both they and the Couent were burned together for a monument and example to all posteritie 2 After this foule fact committed by this Monke let vs heare how a Priest of Limoges about eleuen yeares ago committed sundry murthers one in the neck of another A gentleman of Lymosin Lord of S. Iohn of Ligoures kinsman to the Marshall S. Andrew hauing committed incest with his wiues mother and hauing had children by her declared it to a shaueling in way of confession Whereupon the Priest who was a false coiner tooke occasion to perswade him as hauing him in his lurch and at his lure by this his confession to play the knaue as he had done and to become a false coyner with him Now after they had followed this occupation for a time the Priest perceiuing that the gentleman was still troubled in conscience with his incest notwithstanding he had sundry times absolued him and that hee affected his wiues mother more then his wife perswaded him that the mother was rather his wife then the daughter and therefore that his mariage his children and all were accursed Whereupon he vndertooke to dispatch them out of the way whilest the gentleman was absent yet not without his consent For comming one night as his manner was into the Castle with certaine cruel cut-throates which he had brought with him he went directly to the chamber where the gentlewomen lay and murthered them all in their beds as also two yong children one of which called him by his name and held vp his hands vnto him as the Priest executed since in France and the gentleman at Lauzanne confessed at their deaths Neither herewith content with his crue of cut-throate companions he massacred the rest that remained in the house and laying all the dead bodies together in a chamber set the Castle on fire thinking by that meanes to couer the murther But as God would neither the bodies nor the chamber wherein they were tooke fire and so the murther was detected Whereupon the gentleman knowing not well what course to take nor which way to turne himselfe fled into Sauoye where passing by Geneua he was discried and from thence pursued and apprehended at Lauzanne where he was executed according to law acknowledging his offence and Gods great mercy towards him in bringing him by this chastisement home to himselfe This is the history as I heard it credibly reported by those that saw him arraigned and executed which albeit I haue of purpose abridged as I haue done also the rest yet I could not omit one circumstance how that euen then when the child called him by his name and held vp his hands vnto him as children are wont to do smiling on those they looke vpon he did most cruelly murther him And it was not without cause that God would haue this circumstance freely confessed both by the Priest and the gentleman which otherwise would neuer haue bin suspected For doubtlesse it doth much aggrauate and as it were double and treble his offence especially if we compare it with the fact of heathen men as of those ten whom Herodotus mentioneth in his fift booke who being sent to murther a new borne babe were so moued with pity when the child smiled vpon them that their hearts relented and as it were melted within them Howbeit there are so many circumstāces to be considered in this abhomninable fact that it is hard to say where a man should especially insist 3 But because the naming of Lauzanne where this execution was done puts me in mind of Geneua adioyning where another murthering Priest was executed I will here relate that story A certaine Priest in Foussigny called Dom Iohn vnder the dominion of Thiez then gouernour of Geneua hauing boared out his brothers eyes with an awle as he was asleep and obtained his pardon of the then Bishop of Geneua not long after he committed him to a gossip of his to the end he might drowne him by casting him downe from a bridge into the water vnder colour of bringing him to Chambery to S. Suayre a Saint then in great request VVhich thing the assassin knowing not how to effect whilest he was in his iourney seeing he had not the heart to commit such a cruell fact not long after vnder colour as though he would bring him to S. Claude he caried him in the night into a barne where he with one of his companions murthered him and hauing so done cast him into a swift streame where he was found by a woman which sought after a strayed calfe VVhereupon the Priest was apprehended in his bed with his whore and brought to Geneua where his hand was first cut off and after that his head hauing before confessed the fact and giuen no other reason of the hatred which he bore him but onely because he was a great spender It is further reported that this kinde Kit hauing pricked his brothers eyes with a nawle and perceiuing that he was not stone blinde but that he could see a little boared them the second time with a woodden pinne This punishment was inflicted vpon this malefactor shortly after the reformation of religion in the sayd citie 4 But among other murthering Priests I may not omit one of whom mention is made in the French Chronicles who scaped not so scot-free as the former In the yeare 1530. the nineteenth of Aprill a certaine Sir Iohn comming to Autuns Colledge in Paris right ouer against Saint Andrew des Ars to visite the Parson of the place where he was Curate killed his man in the night and after cut the Parsons throate For which murther he was degraded in the Court of our Ladies Church the same yeare the fourth of May and being apparelled in a fools coate was sent to a worshipfull gentleman one Master Iohn Morin then Iudge of criminall causes by whom he was sentenced to haue his hand cut off and it together with the faulcheon wherewith he had committed the murther to be nailed to a post before the said Colledge and after to be burned quick before the towne house This sentence being giuen in open Court was put in execution the fift day of the said moneth 5 But giue me leaue to speake a word or two more concerning Paris for there no doubt we shall find sundry other examples of murthers committed by Clergy-men and namely by Priests But for this present I wil insist in one onely which was discouered and punished by order of law as followeth In an Inne at Soyssons called The great head the good man of the house his daughter played a slippery tricke with one
by a Councell which Popish Prelates haue made their Achilles to beare off the great blowes which might light vpon their images For in the Nicene Councell not that great and famous Councell holden vnder Constantine the Emperor but that which was assembled in the dayes of Charles the great aboue eight hundred yeares ago by an Empresse who was so good a ChristiaÌ„ that she put out her sonnes eyes and after caused him to pine away in prison where he ended his daies in great misery it was concluded that it was expedient not onely to haue Images but also to worship them Now the strongest arguments which they vsed for proofe hereof were these First a certain Bishop called Iohn Ambassadour for the East Churches alleadged Gen. 2. God created man after his owne image Whence he inferred that Images were to be vsed And Canticl 2. Shew me thy face for it is faire Another labouring to proue that Images ought to be set vpon Altars alleadged the saying of Christ Math. 5. No man lighteth a candle to put it vnder a bushell but vpon a candlesticke and it giueth light to all that are in the house A third to proue that it was profitable to looke vpon Images alleadged the saying of the Prophet Dauid Psal. 4. Signatum est super nos lumen vultus tui Domine as the old interpreter doth translate it that is The brightnesse of thy face doth shine vpon vs. A fourth alleadged Psal. 26. v. 8. Domine dilexi decorem domus tuae that is Lord I haue loued the beautie of thy house In like case also would they help and aduantage themselues with the saying of the Psalmist Psal. 48. v. 9. As we haue heard so haue we seene saying that we know God not onely by hearing of his word but by looking vpon Images Another bishop named Theodorus was aware of this subtiltie It is written said he that God is maruellous in his Saints And in another place it is said in the Saints which are vpon the earth Ergo we ought to behold the glory of God in Images Another alleadged this similitude As the Patriarchs vsed the sacrifices of the heathen so Christians ought to vse Images in stead of the Pagans idols These are their goodly allegations which because they were authorized by this Councell haue bin canuased by these discipling Friers in euery sermon to say nothing of sundry other of as good grace and proceeding from as good a wit and sound iudgement 4 If any shall here wonder how it was euer possible there should be especially in those dayes such sottish Preachers as would so doltishly apply the Scripture I will here record a late sottish speech much more to be wondered at In the conference holden at Poyssi the bruite wherof was blazed throughout the world a certaine Magister Noster called Demochares pleading for Images against a Minister of the word and perceiuing that his cause went downe the wind would needs maintain it by an argument taken from the glasse windowes in Saint Benets Church concluding very logically in this sort This Church quoth he was built in S. Dennis his time but euer since there haue bin Images in glasse windowes ergo Images haue bin since S. Dennis his time To whom the Minister answered in three words fitly and finely that his argument was made of glasse 5 But to proceed on in this discourse of the abuse of Scripture let vs come to those that abused it in such diuellish sort as great Mahomet himselfe could not haue done worse I meane in disgracing Christian religion more then euer Mahomet or the Mahometists did VVho may these be Verily such as turne it to gibes and ieasts and merry conceits especially the deepe dissembling ducking Friers who are not ashamed to apply sundry places written expresly of our blessed Sauiour to their sweet Saints those I meane by whom they inrich themselues by preaching their miracles 6 VVe heard before in the Chapter of blasphemies of such as made it but a matter of merriment to gibe at some and to commend other some in playing the Scoggins with the Scripture a common thing at this day euen among the Laity Which deuice me thinks should first haue come froÌ„ our M. Pasquin as being neare his scuruinesse who Lucifer-like vsurps authoritie not onely ouer Gods word but ouer his throne and scepter albeit it hath bin practised since especially by our gallant Courtiers For in the beginning of the raigne of king Henry the second many iests were broken vpon such Lords and Ladies of the Court as were not in like fauour and grace they had bene in in the dayes of his father but were as much debased as they had bin before aduanced One of which I remember was applied to a noble man who had bin in high place but was then takâ— a peg lower Ecce Adam quasi vnus ex nobis factus est As also that of a certaine Lady who had a prosperous wind in the stearne and was set as it were on the top of fortunes wheele Regnum meum non est de hoc mundo where I haue also spoken of certaine places of Scripture wherwith the Friers were wont to sport theÌ„selues and make their worships merry To which notwithstanding sundry others might be added as this among the rest Si non esset hic malefactor non tibi tradidissemus eum spoken by certaine Monkes of a pasty which their Abbot had sent them by which they meant that if the Cooke had played his part in baking of it and that the Abbot had liked of it he would neuer haue sent it It is further said that this goodly interpretation of these words of the Psalmist Qui dat niuem sicut lanam Which sendeth cold according to the cloth came from the Monkes cloisters 7 But now we are to speake of those buffons who abuse the Scripture in their Sermons to mooue laughter To returne therefore to our good Preachers we are to note that some euen in these dayes haue made as it were a practise and profession a trade and occupation therof Of which number Menot is one For fol. 209. col 3. he saith When men first sit downe to meate there is not a word among theÌ„ they ply their trenchers so hard their tongues seeming to giue place to the office of their teeth In medio autem exit sermo inter fratres dicunt enim here is good bread and good wine But in the end In omnem terram exiuit sonus eorum And fol. 196. col 4. Dominae ancillis quae inâ—rant cameram earum non custodiunt se ab ipsis saepè ostendunt quae non licet hominibus loqui Nay they do so highly honor and reuerence the beginning of Saint Iohns Gospell that they write it in parchment enchase it in gold and hang it about their necks to serue them in stead of Amulets against dangers which powerfull preseruatiue if they be not very forgetfull of their Philosophy they call
digest it considering there are many things there ript vp farre worse without comparison then any of the former consider with me good Reader a little how the diuell hath openly mocked and plaied as it were with the nose of Christendome in publishing this booke blindfolding in the meane time the eies of the world For he vsed him as his instrument in the compiling and publishing thereof who laboured tooth and naile by word and writing to make a hotch-potch of these two religions if they may be called religions viz. Mahometizme and Iudaizme with Christian religion him I say he vsed as his Amanuensis who publikely preached and stifly maintained sundry grosse heresies not onely full of blasphemie but euen repugnant to ciuill honesty I meane that worshipfull writer master William Postell But how may some say was it euer possible that this booke being composed by such a vile monster was not suspected as it should haue bene had it bene deliuered by an Angell from heauen For answer whereunto we are to know that the diuell as I said hath exposed Christendome as a laughing-stocke and wonderment to the world and hath as it were with Mercuries pipe lulled our Argosses asleepe whose office is to stand Sentinel ouer the State True it is I confesse the villanies of these varlets were not so well detected in those dayes as they haue bene since notwithstanding so much was then discouered as was sufficient to giue warning thereof which I will leaue as being now God be thanked sufficiently well knowne and will come to the phrase and style of the booke I say then and will iustifie it to any skilfull Hebrician that he hath coyned sundry Hebraismes and fained them of his very fingers and foisted them among those which are vsuall and ordinary in the Scripture As for the phrase it is so affected that it doth plainely bewray it self The matter also of the booke was forged by such a spirite as Postels was if he were not the author thereof in scorne of Christian religion where the author to make a faire florish and colour the matter with some probabilitie hath inserted certaine sentences of the Euangelists in manner of a rhapsodie and shuffled in others to which he supposed he could giue some lustre by certaine texts of the old Testament as namely that of the water of Iealousie c. Thus thou seest gentle Reader to what impudencie some diuellish spirits are grown at this day But if any curious Athenian desire to heare more of this stuffe I meane of such counterfaite bookes foisted in by the craft and subtilty of Sathan he shall find a great lurry of them in a booke called Orthodoxographa Theologiae sacrosanctae and garnished with sundry other flanting titles which seemes to haue bene written of purpose in scorne and derision of Christian religion For if the doctrine therein contained be orthodoxall doubtlesse the doctrine of the Bible must needs be hereticall Necessary therefore it is we should haue a speciall regard to what writings we giue such glorious titles seeing that in giuing it to one we take it from another they being as coÌ„trary as day and darkenesse If any shall here say that some of them are translated out of Hebrew and others out of Greeke yet when he hath proued the point he may put the gaine in his eye For it is easily answered that the diuell can shew him selfe a diuell as well in Hebrew and Greeke as in any other language Now this Protoeuangelium I haue encountered rather then any of the rest for that it is fathered vpon Saint Iames cosingerman and brother to Christ as the title purporteth For in the first impression which is in a smal volume with the annotations it hath this title Proteuangelion siue de natalibus Iesu Christi ipsius matris virginis Mariâ— sermo historicus diui Iacobi minoris consobrini fratris Domini Iesu Apostoli primarij Episcopi Christianorum primi Hierosolymis Howbeit in the second impression where it is made a part of the foresaid booke intituled Orthodoxographa S. Iames is not called cosingerman but onely brother of Christ. I haue I say encountred this booke rather then any of that rable to the end the Reader by this may take a tast of the rest For if they durst publish such stuffe vnder the name of S. Iames what would they not dare to do vnder the name of Nicodemus and a number of such worshipfull writers as are there to be seene And thus much for a tast for the whole tunne is of the same liquor colour and tang There was likewise another damnable booke published since that time vnder the name of S. Iames. The Acts also of the Apostles haue bin dispensed abroad into many hands composed by one Abdias whose writings though altogether impious and prophane some haue not bin ashamed to glosse in sundry places as well in the preface as in the body of the booke and to affirme that he either tooke it out of S. Luke or S. Luke out of him Besides all these the Ecclesiasticall history it selfe hath bin published by a diuellish Monke called Nicephorus Calistus whom I call a cloister diuell not without cause For besides that he was a cloisterer by his profession he sheweth himselfe as ignorant as a Monk as impudent as a Monk as wicked and prophane as a Monk so ignorant that euen yong children may teach him his lesson so impudent that he is not ashamed to tell most shamefull lies and so prophane that he sticketh not to iest and gibe at God himselfe and his holy truth All which particulars shall one day God willing be manifested and layd open to the world 4 Now albeit the foresaid Preachers might finde in these and such like classicke writers prety store of trim tales euer ready at hand when they meant to step into the pulpit to giue their quarter blowes yet they were not negligent to furnish themselues with other maner of ware which they might mingle with the old and not euer cloy their auditory with stale stuffe Or if haply they alleadged any author they alleadged such as were â—picke and span new comming newly smoking from the presse Which puts me in mind of that which I once heard deliuered by one Bonauenture a Franciscan in a Sermon which he made at Ipre in Flanders where he affirmed that when Christ was growne a prety tall stripling able to take paines and to follow his occupation Ioseph employed him in his trade commaunding him to saw a peece of wood where he missing the marke which he had made him to saw by sawed it ouer short whereupon Ioseph being very angry would haue beaten him and he had lamskinned him indeed if he had not stept aside and taken vp a cudgell to defend himselfe which made Ioseph take vp another either of them weilding their weapon and keeping their standing And whence trow we said the Frier learned he this Out of S. Annes Gospell I warrant you And
a word Doubtlesse this is an Abyssus or bottomlesse sea of subtilties and yet this is not all for hitherto I haue only spoken of the play which is acted by one onely I leaue it therefore to thy consideration gentle Reader what manner of play that is which is played by three viz. when the Massingmate hath the Deacon and Subdeacon to assist him For if there were no more but this that when the Deacon according to Titelman playeth his part in singing some parcell of Scripture shred out of the Gospel with his face towards the North he should with his crossing chase away all the Northerne diuels were not this a most monstrous mysterie But I will no longer insist vpon these subtill speculations for feare I shold bring the Reader in loue with the booke wherby he might be drawne to become a sworn brother to the Guyld of the Massemongers Neuerthelesse this one thing I will say for a finall conclusion let the Massemaligners or Massemarrers call it as they list either stageplay or apish toy or mommery iuggling or sorcery they must needs confesse that Pythagoras with all his mysticall numbers had neuer the wit to inuent so pleasant and profitable a Morris-dance And it is not without cause that I here alleadge Pythagoras for besides that the Pythagorean Phylosophy hath as wee know some such liniaments of curious subtiltie we are not ignorant that the book intituled The conformity of Saint Francis with Christ nameth Pythagoras first before all the other Philosophers whose example Christ hath worthily followed in hauing Disciples as fol. 43. of the foresaid impression Dubium est isâ—ad an Dominus noster Iesus Christus decenter fecit Apostolos eligendo discipulos habere speciales volendo quia videretur melius fore habere multos quà m paucos omnes quà m aliquos speciales Respondetur quòd Dominus deceÌ„tissimè fecit primò volendo habere discipulos Ratio priâ—â—â— quia quum esset virtâ—osissimus aliquos ipsius ad instar aliorum imitatores habere debeat Pythagoras Plato Socrates Aristoteles sic de alijs Iohannes Baptista habuerunt discipulos quare ipse à fortiori 5 Howbeit I find the allegories in the booke intituled Quadragesimale spirituale to be more miraculously subtill if I may so speake and to proceed from a far more pleasant and conceited head which spirituall quadrâ—gesimall otherwise called Lents allegory was printed at Paris in the yeare 1565. after that it had bene reuiewed and corrected by two venerable Doctors of Paris out of which booke I will here extract certain periods by which the Reader shall easily iudge of the rest The author therefore speaking in his first Chapter of the Sallad which is eaten in Lent at the first seruice saith that by the sallad which is made of diuers herbes and procureth a good appetite we may vnderstand in a mysticall sense the word of God which should giue vs both appetite and strength And a little after by the sweetnesse of the oyle and sharpnesse of the vinegar equally mixed together we are to vnderstand the mercy and iustice of God Chap. 2. After the sallad we eate fried beanes by which we vnderstand confession When we would haue beanes well sodden we lay them in stâ—â—pe for otherwise they will neuer seeth kindly Therefore if we purpose to amend our faults it is not sufficient barely to confesse them at all aduenture as some do but we must let our confession lie in steepe in the water of meditation in distinguishing and rightly discerning all our offences in particular And a little after We do not vse to seeth ten or twelue beanes together but as many as we meane to eate no more must we steepe that is meditate vpon ten or twelue sinnes onely neither for ten or twelue dayes but vpon all the sinnes that euer we committed euen from our birth if it were possible to remember them Chap. 3. Strained pease Madames are not to be forgotten You know how to handle them so well that they will be delicate and pleasant to the tast By these strained pease our allegorizing flute pipeth nothing else but true contrition of heart which is one part of penance Note this further that pease neuer seeth kindly in well water nor conduit water but only in riuer water which mystically signifieth that true repentance cannot seeth rightly that is cannot be made perfect with well water or conduit water by which are meant teares of attrition but he that would haue them to seeth well must of necessitie take riuer water that is true contrition For by well water which runneth not is vnderstood attrition and by riuer water contritioÌ„ And so the doctors say that there is great difference betwixt them for attrition is vncertaine so that spirituall pease cannot seeth well in it but contrition is certaine and maketh good decoction for the pease of penance Riuer water which continually moueth runneth and floweth is very good for the seething of pease We must I say haue contrition for our sins and take the running water that is the teares of the heart which must runne and come euen into the eyes Chap. 4. The broth of pease is also greatly to be commended for it furnisheth Lent dinners very well By the iuyce of pease strained through a strainer is vnderstood a purpose and resolution to abstaine from sinne Chap. 5. When the Lamprey is eaten men fall to their other fish I find that the Lamprey of all other fish is most nourishing and therefore I compare restitution vnto it Some perhaps wil say they haue not mony enough to buy this Lamprey indeed I must needs say that Lampreys are commonly deare but yet this is true withall that as they are deare so they are very excellent meate If you will eate of this noble Lamprey which is the remission of your sinnes viz. the loue of God you ought to buy it were it neuer so deare You must not thinke to buy it for a shilling or two or halfe a crowne no noâ— yet for a crowne but you must restore all the mony goods and what else you vniustly detaine from your neighbors you must emptie your purses of it therewith to make restitutioÌ„ And further you must emptie your hearts of all rancor and malice otherwise you shall neuer eate worthily of this Lamprey together with his bloud wherewith that excellent sawce is made which is the merit of the passion Chap. 6. By Saffron which is put into all broths sawces and Lent meates I vnderstand the ioyes of heauen which we must thinke vpon yea as it were smell rellish and ruminate of in all our actions for without Saffron we shall neuer haue good iuyce of pease good strayned pease nor yet good sawce Neither can we without thinking vpon the ioyes of heauen haue good spirituall broths Chap. 7. Orenges also are right good in Lent as Physitians say By the orenge I vnderstand the loue which we ought to haue towards God which is well
And at Ai◠in 〈◊〉 they were accustomed to shew his breeches together with the virgin◠Maries smocke by the same token that the smocke was big enough 〈◊〉 giant whereas the breeches were scarce big enough for a boy or a dwarfe It 〈…〉 said that the pots and spoones which belonged to certaine Saints haue bene elsewhere reckoned in the number of holy relikes Nay there is not so much as the taile of the Asse vpon which our Sauiour rode but it is at Genoua accounted for a relike And seeing I haue made mention of the Asse we are further to note that the holy hay that is the hay which was found in the cratch where our Sauiour was layed as soone as he was borne hath bene very famous in some countries of Lorraine as I remember But what shall we say to a more strange dotage of those wise woodcocks which caused men to worship stones as being the very same wherewith Saint Stephen was stoned to death As at the black Friers in Arles at Vigand in Languedoc and at Florence As also of those wise maisters which caused men to worship the arrowes wherewith they affirmed Saint Sebastian was wounded to death one of which was kept at the Augustine Friers in Poytiers another at Lambesk in Prouince and others elsewhere And surely if these stones wherewith Saint Steuen was stoned ought to be worshipped how much more then they that stoned him And if the arrowes were worthy of this honour how much more worthy were they which shot them 4 But lest the Reader should wonder too much at this foolery or rather brutishnesse I will here relate a certaine story by which we may perceiue that the poore people silly soules in the matter of relikes had neither sense nor reason so that their estate and condition was worse then that of poore blind men who dare trust those that leade them The story is this for we will do them this fauour to call it so When Nicodemus tooke our Sauiour downe from the crosse he gathered some of his bloud and put it in one of the fingers of his gloue note here that Nicodemus wore gloues as well as we with the which bloud he wrought many wonders for which cause being persecuted by the Iewes he was glad to rid his hands of it by a strange deuice which was this He tooke a peece of parchment in which he writ all the miracles and all that appertained to this secret and closed vp the bloud together with the parchment in a great birds bill the historian hath forgotten her name which when he had bound vp and setled as well as he could he cast it into the sea commēding it to the prouidence of God whose pleasure was as the story saith that a thousand or twelue hundred yeares after or thereabout this holy Bill hauing trauersed all the seas from East to West should arriue in Normandie in the very same place where the Abbey of Becke is now situate where being cast vp by the violence of the sea into certain shrubs it so fortuned that a good Duke of Normandy one of the famous founders of religious houses in those dayes hunting a Stagge neare to the place when the huntsmen were at a losse not knowing what was become either of the stag or of the dogs at last they found him in a bush kneeling vpon his knees and the dogs by him all very quiet and vpon their knees also some write that they were saying their Pater noster Which spectacle did so stirre vp the deuotion of this good Duke that he caused the wood where this precious Beake and the iewel therein contained was found to be disparked incontinently and there founded an Abbey which for this cause is called the Abbey of Becke where they haue this goodly miracle yet to be seene being so rich that it may truly be said that this Beake fed many bellies Now if this one relike or some remnant and remainder thereof did keep and maintaine so many idle bellies yea fed these lubbers so fat that they were nothing but belly and not so onely but so inriched them let the Reader iudge what abundance of riches the rabble of other relikes hath brought vnto them being so many that hitherto they could neuer be comprehended in any Inuentory And we may well coniecture how great they were by the shrines in which they were wont to be kept For the ditches in which these carcasses were layd were of earth to speake more plainly of these pence which came by kissing and adoring of them or adoration to speake more properly they bought for them fine siluer houses gilt ouer with gold And though all relikes neither haue bin nor are at this day enchased in siluer or gold yet I perswade my selfe that there haue bene few of them at least of those which haue had the better hap which haue not brought to these hucksters the value of a shrine or very neare Now because all relikes haue not bene equally gainfull and commodious vnto them in that some had not the lucke to light in a country so addicted to miracles let vs value the best sort of them but at an hundred thousand crownes though some perhaps haue bene worth many millions the meaner sort but at threescore thousand the worst sort but at twelue thousand and then gathering the entire summe of them all and yet of none but of those that are in fresh memory we may calculate how many thousand crownes these relikes haue gained them 5 Which account neuerthelesse doth not in any sort comprehend particular relikes which these pedlers or their mates caried with them vp and downe the countrey for these were often disclaimed euen by cleargymen themselues residing in those parts through which the foresaid pedlers passed Which open disclaiming of them proceeded partly from enuy partly from feare lest the simple people should haue perceiued their iuggling in such open and palpable knauerie and so should haue begun to haue suspected all the rest And it is to be noted that the foresaid knauish companions did so openly mocke and impudently abuse these simple soules in causing them to worship reliques that if they had bene let alone their trade in the end would not haue bene worth a blewe button either to themselues or vnto others For they were not content in opening their packes to say that I may omit common matters Behold here in this viall is Christs blood gathered from vnder the crosse by the virgine Marie Item see here in this other viall the teares of Christ. Item behold here the swadling bands wherewith the virgine Mary swadled him in Aegypt Item see here the milke of the virgine Marie Item behold here the haires of the virgine Marie They were not I say herewith content but grew to that height of impudency that they made no bones to say In this box but it must in no case be opened is contained the breath of Christ carefully kept by his mother from his very
with thy selfe out of what Gospell all this geare is taken and what scripture they follow who mixe spittlâ— salt oyle and such like stuffe smelling so stinking strong of their sorcery with the holy Sacrament of Baptisme Consider further how exceedingly it ought to mouâ— and astonish him who by the mercy of God hath bene trained vp in the doctrine of the Gospel when conuersing with those that make profession of the same religion he shall heare not onely of the former riffe-raffe ceremonies yea wicked and dangerous but of an infinite number of others also as of suffrags of the Saints of Images of Reliques of Lights of the Popes pardons or Indulgences of Buls of Myters of Croziers staues of Vowes of Shauings of Confessions of Absolutions of Extreame vnctions and of that so famous renowmed missificall Purgatorie with all the appurtenances thereunto belonging Verily if he stand in a maze and mammering to heare such gibbridge and more to see all this mummery acted vpon the stage I blame him not But when he shall reade this story touching this Infernall called the Eternall Gospel and shall consider with himselfe how subtill and crafty the diuel is he shal haue no great cause to wonder at the matter For dobutlesse the diuel hath kept this damnable book in store changing onely the name to the end that as there is one Christ and one Antichrist so there might be one Gospel and one Antigospell as I may so speake Neither hath he vsed this craft and subtelty onely in changing the name but as we haue seene in some cities when the coÌ„mon stewes haue bene burnt the ashes thereof haue flowne abroad into al quarters and corners therof so that though there remained no more stewes in name yet indeed and truth greater then eueâ— before so he after that this detestable booke was burned scattered the ashes thereof among all the bookes which haue bene published since by his slaues and complices whereof the Decretals haue had their part the SuÌ„mes also theirs the Legends Martyrologies theirs the Questionall Distinctionall Quodlibeticall bookes Mandestons Tartares Breuiaries Mâ—ssalles and Houres theirs Neither herewith content hath further foisted in other wicked works and writings shrowded vnder the name of the Gospell as hath bene said This gentle Reader will suffice I hope to put thee in minde of the Infernall otherwise called the Eternall Gospell when and as often as thou shalt heare any question moued touching Popish doctrine And verily that I may say the same thing againe and againe seeing men haue endured a Counterchrist it is no wonder if they suffer a Counter-Gospell 5 But to returne to prosecute my former argument and to shew how in all ages some abuses haue bene discouered doubtlesse if they who haue obserued them would haue aduertised posteritie of them we should haue had a number of such aduertisements at this day but some God knowes were so simple that they could not commit such things to writing others though sufficiently well qualified yet had not the heart to do it NotwithstaÌ„ding there are certain books come eueÌ„ to these times much more ancieÌ„t then those I haue so often mentioned in which are sundry inuectiues against the Pope aswel in regard of his life as of his doctrine But me thinks it fareth now with Christian religion as it did somtime with Arts and sciences for as the liberall arts flourished not so in the age last past as they did certaine hundred yeares before and as they haue done since so the ignorance of Christian religion was more grosse and palpable in the last Centenarie then in the dayes of our grandfathers at least of our great grandfathers and then it was euer since 6 But here is yet a further point to be noted coÌ„cerning the Age last past to say nothing of such as proclaimed open warre and hostilitie against the abuses and wicked liues of the Pope and his creatures as Wicliffe Iohn Hus Ierome of Prage c. how that many haue encountred our good Catholickes of the Romish religion who made no great shew of hostilitie against them For who would haue thought that Petrarch would haue so inueyed against the holy citie Già Roma hor Babilonia falsa e ria which we find in one of his sonnets among other his Poems containing onely a description of the inordinate and dissolute life of the Court of Rome Nay he goeth further in diuers of his Latin Epistles saying that Christ is banished thence that Antichrist is Lord and maister there and Beelzebub the Iudge That vnder the standard of Christ they make warre against Christ That greater villany is there done to him theÌ„ euer the Pharisies did him That the hope of eternall life is holden for a very fable That the more a man is infected and euen plunged ouer head and eares in wickednesse the more he is esteemed and honoured And as for couetousnesse there saith he for gold heauen is set wide open and for gold euen Christ himselfe is sold. Item if Iudas come thither and bring with him his thirtie peeces of siluer the price of innocent bloud he shall be admitted and Christ shut out of doores And as for Truth There saith he truth is holden for folly And in another place I will not speake of truth for how can truth haue any lodging or abode there where all is taken vp with falshood and lies the aire the earth places houses towers c. 7 Sometimes also our Catholicke chickens were so vnmannerly as to censure their holy mother for false doctrine For we reade that the Vniuersitie of Paris openly condemned an article in one of the bulles of Clement the sixt touching the yeare of Iubily wherein he granted to all that had receiued the Croysado full power to deliuer three or foure such soules out of Purgatory as themselues thought good Howbeit the Vniuersity censured not the mandate and commandement which in another bull he gaue to the Angels of Paradise the words whereof I will here set downe If any man be minded to come to the holy Citie we giue him free libertie from the day of his egresse to chuse one or moe confessors as well in his iourney as elsewhere to whom by authoritie committed vnto vs we giue full power to absolue him in all matters reserued to our selfe as well as if we were there personally present And further we grant to him that hath truly confessed if he die by the way free pardon and remission of all his sinnes and do cleerly quit and absolue him of the same And we further commaund all the Angels of Paradise that they bring the soule of such a man into the glorious Imperiall heauen quite exempting him from the paines of purgatorie c. 8 Besides we haue certaine prouerbes which haue bene currant time out of mind which are pregnant proofes that the Cleargies credit was euen then crackt and their reputation much eclipsed For in our old and auncient prouerbs which censure the vices
galled hereby For I protest my meaning is not to speake any thing to blemish the reputation of such as walke conscionably in their vocations and callings and demeane themselues therein as in the presence of God 2 First then to begin with Merchants their prouerbe is this Où marchand où larron that is either a merchan◠or a theefe Which many seeme to vse as a maske to the end they may not be discouered in their theeuish knaueries Others sweare they are losers by selling their wares at this or that price in the meane while dispensing with their oath be it neuer so false in the sence they would haue others to vnderstand it holding it sufficiently warrantable if in their owne sence and meaning it may passe for truth For there is another prouerbe which saith The merchant that is no gainer is a loser Whereunto they haue relation when they sweare that they lose by this or that merchandize I haue also heard of a starting-hole which certaine of them haue found out when they sweare they haue refused thus much and thus much for such and such wares But I leaue their words and come to their deeds for we may easily beware of their words if we keepe in mind the Italian prouerbe Non ti sidar non saray gabato that is Trust not and thou shalt not be deceiued 3 And seeing that thefts committed in selling of wares are either in the quantitie or qualitie I will first begin with the quantitie consisting in weights and measures And doubtlesse I were worthy great blame my conscience would also checke me of vntruth if I should say that our moderne merchants had forgotten either their cunning counterpoizing of the ballance in weighing or the quicke dexteritie of the thomb in measuring Nay they are so farre from yeelding an ace to their ancestors herein that they are able in regard of their good proficiencie in the art to reade a lecture to those mentioned by Oliuer Mayllard and to teach them diuers subtill sleights and conueyances in weighing and measuring inuented since for their owne aduantage For touching the ballance some can make it rise and fall as they list and neuer be perceiued and as for measuring they are not content to vse the trick of the thombe but of the ell also And yet without the help of these sleights they can make it come to their owne reckoning Witnesse those who hauing some loose cloth and not well fulled by the list which is commonly seene in narrow clothes will be sure in measuring it not to go farre in the bredth but measure it in the list as neare as possibly they can These few examples may suffice for those that vse subtil conueyances in weights and measures For if I were disposed to busie my selfe with such as giue indeed good weight and large measure but it is good weight by their owne weight and good measure by their own measure both being false besides that I should tell you of a thing not vnknowne to little children and which is cōmon to this age with the former I should speake of a theft wherein there is neither subtiltie nor sleight Neither wil I mention such as bearing men in hand that they sell by a great weight sell by a small or making as though they did weigh and measure by the standard of such a citie weigh and measure by another Both which belong to quantitie as hath bene said 4 Touching the qualitie I meane thefts committed by falsifying and sophisticating of wares it is a boundlesse and endlesse argument First there is no doubt but that may sleights and cheating trickes haue bene practised heretofore in corrupting and adulterating of wares and that many are cōmitted at this day which were neuer discouered before And besides those that haue bene in former time and are in vse at this present many new ones are dayly minted to be put in practise when others chance to be discouered considering also that one country vseth this sleight another that And note that when I say wares or merchandize I meane generally all such things wherein a man may trafficke comprizing herein gold and siluer coyned as being mettals wherein merchants vse to trafficke as in common wares besides that they affoord meanes to trafficke in all other commodities And because my purpose is among other examles of falsification to insist in these two mettals I wil giue them the first place which they seeme to challenge of right sith not onely all other commodities but gold and siluer also are falsified to get gold and siluer First then we are to know that the falsifying of these mettals is very ancient as may appeare by certaine Greeke and Latin words seruing to expresse sundry sorts of this deceitfull knauery Secondly that as the custome of falsifying mettals is ancient so the meanes to discouer such deceitfull dealing is as ancient as of gold by the touchstone whence this French prouerbe grew which I haue often heard at Paris Il est de bas or il craint la touche He is a counterfet he is afraid of the touchstone But how many peeces of gold are there to be seene at this day so cunningly falsified that they infringe the former prouerbe in fearing the triall of the touchstone neuer a whit How many peeces are there to be seene which must be deeply graued into especially in Portuguizes and other peeces of the value of halfe a Portuguize as those of Saltzbourgh or else melted to discouer the deceit Moreouer there was a time when gold was not suspected to be light vnlesse it were clipped Whereas now the fairest French crownes which are not clipped at all are often the lightest by the cunning of those who haue drawne out their quintessence by washing them Further we know how that not long since it was easie to know whether a peece were souldred or charged whereas now there are some so cunningly souldred that a man had need to put on his spectacles if he would not be deceiued And whereas heretofore a counterfet peece of gold and a false peece of siluer which we call a slip was neuer so falsified but that it was worth at least the two thirds of the value they haue now deuised a tricke to confound mettals so cunningly together that some crownes coyned at this day are not worth eighteene pence and some quart d'escus not worth two pence I am not ignorant that there are diuers other subtill sleights found out to falsifie these mettals but I hope I haue sufficiently spoken hereof to giue notice how farre this kind of theft now in vse exceeds that which was vsed in the dayes of our auncestors And I perswade my selfe if diligent inquiry were made that Alchymie which hath bewitched moe at this day then euer it did euen Princes themselues would be found to be the true cause thereof For as for those suiters who spent much time in courting Penelope were at the last contented to enioy the companie of
her waiting maid so those who could not with their Mercury become so great Lords are they promised themselues were at the last contented to become false coiners employing in this fine art all those secrets and mysteries which they had learned in blowing so many yeares together 5 Hauing now spoken of the falsifying of these two mettals wherewith all sorts of wares and merchandize are bought seruing also as wares to trafficke in it will not be amisse in the next place to intreate of such things the mutuall intercourse whereof maketh most for the preseruation of mans life What are these may some say Verily such as serue for backe and belly The number of which albeit it be exceeding great and almost infinite yet amongst those which serue for the nourishment of the body I will single out such as are sold by the Apothecary and of such as serue for attire only woollen clothes and silkes But here some may haply aske the reason why I should bid battell to Apothecaries in this particular seeing the greatest part of that which they sell is extraordinary sustenance seruing rather for the sicke then for the sound I grant indeed that Apothecaries wares are vsually and almost onely for sicke folkes if we except some licorish mouthes But I make choise of them the rather because the falsifying of them is more dangerous For whether is more dangerous to adulterate the meate of one that is in health or of one that is sicke Doubtlesse it cannot be denied but that there is greater peril in corrupting the diet of the sick then of the sound and healthfull person If any shall say that all drugs which Apothecaries sell for the vse of the sicke are not meates but being conuerted into nourishment become most pernicious I answer that such reasons make rather with me then against me For if potions be not ministred for nourishment but for an Antidote to the disease which may well be resembled vnto poison how much greater must the danger needs be in falsifying medicines then in corrupting of meates Besides it is not of late time that men began to crie out against the Apothecaries qui pro quo and we haue already heard what sentence Oliuer Maillard hath giuen hereof where he alleadgeth the prouerbe which was currant in his dayes But to let them passe with the time past this I dare affirme for the present that the abuse then committed as wel in this as in other respects was neuer comparable to that which is now practised not so much for want of knowledge as of good conscience though the error herein committed by our ancestors may well be imputed to their ignorance For doubtlesse neither simple nor compound drugs were so well knowne in the time of the former Preachers as at this day But to what end serue the books which instruct vs in the knowledge of them except we reade them To what end do the Doctors teach them if men haue not care to learne them What is a sicke man the better if his neighbours garden who is very curious in searching out of strange herbes be full of that simple whereof he stands in need if the Apothecary minister some other vnto him which will proue perhaps as hurtful as the right would haue bene healthfull To what end serues trafficke which is now greater then euer if Apothecaries make no conscience to carry rotten and mouldie drugs to the sick and as long as they haue any such neuer take thought for a new supply Besides to what purpose is it to haue a learned Phisition and fortunate in his practise if his receipt fall into the hands of an Apothecary that cannot reade it I hope Apothecaries are not so straight laced but that they will grant that there are many of their trade who haue much ado sometimes to reade the prescripts of Phisitions Of mine owne knowledge I can say thus much that being in place where an Apothecary was perusing a receipt I perceiued that he read a cleane contrary thing to that which a few dayes before I had learned at one of Master Syluius his lectures and thereupon wagering with him touching the particular wherein I found the contrarietie we referred it to the Phisition who had prescribed the receipt who hauing demaunded of the Apothecary whether he were not ashamed to make a question of the truth of my assertion affirmed that the Phisicke so ordered as the Apothecary had intended wold haue bene his patients death though he had had a thousand liues I haue also heard it reported by a very skilful and honest Apothecary that himselfe heard an Apothecary at Blois in stead of Agarici optimi mentioned in the Phisitions prescript and written with an abbreuiation as the maner is Agarici opti with a dash read Agarici opij which opium together with other drugs wrought in the patient so contrary an effect to the Phisitions expectation that except his skil and prouident foresight had espied the error and preuented it in time it would haue proued the poore patients last sicknesse But because when any obiect against them this their accustomed kind of qui pro quo they answer that they follow the example or practise of auncient writers and do as those who in the absence of the Parson go to the Curate as it is in the French prouerb I would gladly request their further answer to this question viz. whom they imitate of all the ancient Grecians Latins or Arabians and how their comparison can stand when in stead of an hot herbe or drug they take one of a cold operation and contrarily And in stead of a drier they vse a moister and in stead of a looser a binder c. For I am not ignorant that the ancient Grecians haue written a catalogue of certaine drugs which might in case of necessitie be vsed in stead of others howbeit they did it not without examining the correspondence of their qualities in which point these hucksters follow them not For proofe whereof I wold gladly see them answer Matthiolus who reckoneth vp a number of simples which they vse mistaking one for another and others which they falsifie and sophisticate by their mixtures and blendings But thus it is vnlearned Apothecaries wil be sure to make no reply but will pull in their hornes and say that they do as they haue seene others do Others who haue studied the nature of simples though slenderly God knowes will not sticke to compare with such a learned man as Matthiolus was nay some of them are not ashamed to preferre themselues before him and to brag that they know some one herbe better then he did and further that they do nothing in vsing their qui pro quo but they can giue a reason for it To be short they cloke their negligence or couetousnesse or both with certaine flight and triuiall questions which they moue vpon some simples presuming like Empericks vpon some experimentall skill which they arrogate to themselues but poore patients
great Lords are aduanced by meanes of their wiues but this I say that it is either a thing lately practised among them or at least farre more common and ordinarie then in former time How euer it be our Age will affoord vs sundry examples of such as euen with shipwracke of their consciences if they had any shew great Lords that they are not vnthankful but that they so well remember the benefites and fauours they haue receiued at their hands that they wholly become their most humble and affectionate seruants Howbeit I will not stand to exemplifie this in those who do no better then damne their owne soules in this behalfe but will record a verie memorable example of a certaine Iudge at Paris to whom I hope I shall do no more wrong to put him in the ranke among the rest then they did him at Paris Anno 1557. in setting him on the pillorie This venerable Iudge purposing to shew better then euer before that he was a miller in conscience as well as in name let not this cracke the credit of those millers that keep a good conscience willing to shew a great Lord how much he wold do for him being willing as it seemed to do much more then he was requested not content to damne his soule to the diuell in this case flourished so with his Eloquence and Rhetoricall insinuations that he perswaded others to send their soules to hel for company For he so hotly prosecuted the matter against the Countesse of Senigan who was vniustly accused to haue holpen the Duke of Ascot to saue himself out of the castle of Vincennes where he was imprisoned that he suborned a number of false witnesses to depose against her vsing for this purpose the helpe of a commissioner called Bouuet but both escaped at too easie a rate For after they had bene condemned for double dealing and false packing in suborning false witnesses to further the suite commenced against the said Countesse they were adiudged to aske her forgiuenesse in way of honorable satisfaction and after to be set on the pillory in the market place of Paris and last of all to be banished Neither do such base companions onely stretch their consciences vpon the tenters to pleasure their Lords and maisters at whose command they are ready with life and limme but to gratifie others also Witnesse the Chancellour who cried out vpon his death bed Ah Cardinall thou hast sent vs all to the diuell Which I speake not any way to blemish the good name of his successour whose great knowledge as all men know ioyned with like integritie may serue as a patterne and president to all posteritie 5 But to returne to false witnesses and the suborning of them because my purpose is to treat of thē more at large Albeit then this false packing in suborning of false witnesses be a sinne of great standing and almost as old as the man in the Moone yet it neuer came I take it to the height it is come vnto in these daies as may appeare by an answer which is now growne to be a by-word in euery mans mouth made by a good fellow who being demanded what trade he was of answered that he was a witnesse Which answer could neuer haue come from any but from such a one as had had his abode in those places where men made witnesse bearing a trade or occupation making merchandize thereof as of wares And we may assure our selues that his fellowes would neuer haue answered so simply If any shall say that the number of false witnesses is not in all probability so great at this day as it was some few yeares ago considering there are not so many executed for it as in former times I answer that the reason followeth not for experience shewes that there are more put to death by order of Law in some places where lesse trespasses are committed then in others where greater villanies are practised The execution therefore of iustice in one place often or seldome doth not argue the multitude or paucity of offenders in another it shewes rather the vigilancie and integritie of those that haue the sword committed vnto them If they shall further reply and say that though the number of false witnesses be now as great and their punishment lesse then euer it was yet it is not because there is greater impunity but for that it is a point of greater difficultie to discouer them considering their suborners teach them their lesson better and they remember it better then their predecessors I answer to the contrary that it is as ordinary at this day for false witnesses to bewray betray and almost beray themselues yea and to beate themselues as it were with their owne rods as euer it was in former times Among many other notable examples of false depositiōs which haue happened within these few yeares of such as had foully forgotten their lesson that is commonly alledged for proofe hereof which is of certain varlets suborned by a Lord of Berri against a citizē of Bourges called Boyuerd was who accused of murther for wheras they were told that the best marke wherby they might know the said Boyuerd was that his nose was made like the handle of a rasor they being seuerally examined by the Iudge and asked how they could know him answered all with one accord that they could easily know him by a cut of a razour which he had vpon his nose So that when Boyuerd against whom they came to depose was brought forth they said he was not the man because he had no scarre vpon his nose And thus being detected they were accordingly executed the suborner and false accuser being beheaded and quartered onely in effigie which was no small aduantage for him Now albeit this be as notable an example of false packing as happened these twenty yeares Yet we may not thinke that it is the onely example but that some of fresh memory may be found to match it This at the least which happened as most men know within these seuen weekes to certaine false witnesses suborned against one brought from Orleans to Paris fast bound pinioned how these wicked wretches so forgat themselues that whereas they should haue said that the man against whom they deposed had a red beard they said he was swart and had a blacke beard Now what seuere punishment hath bene inflicted vpon such companions I leaue the Reader to enquire yet this I know and who knoweth it not that during the last ciuill warres in Fraunce and whilst the deuourers of cōfiscations ruled the rost this accursed trade was practised with as great impunitie as euer it was either in this or in former Ages 6 And is the lurry of Lawyers who as Maillard speaketh take ab hoc ab hâc or à dextris à sinistris quite worne out Nay would to God it were not much greater then before and that it were not so notoriously knowne that euen little children