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can_v run_v swift_o enough_o in_o the_o way_n of_o sin_n and_o vanity_n in_o these_o year_n i_o can_v say_v that_o i_o have_v the_o least_o sense_n of_o the_o corruption_n of_o my_o nature_n and_o the_o evil_a of_o sin_n upon_o my_o heart_n several_a year_n i_o be_v carry_v in_o the_o arm_n of_o one_o anne_n carlton_n a_o servant_n in_o our_o family_n who_o constant_o attend_v i_o bend_v enough_o i_o be_v to_o play_v and_o therefore_o for_o some_o year_n have_v a_o constant_a way_n of_o hitch_v about_o upon_o a_o cushion_n the_o better_a to_o follow_v and_o join_v with_o my_o brother_n and_o sister_n in_o their_o sport_n when_o by_o reason_n of_o the_o rickets_o my_o leg_n will_v not_o carry_v i_o the_o first_o tiding_n of_o my_o walk_v alone_o be_v welcome_a tiding_n to_o my_o father_n and_o mother_n and_o bring_v by_o my_o uncle_n lee_n than_o a_o tabler_n at_o our_o house_n at_o lincoln_n for_o the_o benefit_n of_o free-school-learning_n it_o seem_v he_o and_o the_o other_o child_n 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my_o father_n do_v instruct_v i_o in_o my_o english_a learning_n indeed_o to_o most_o if_o not_o all_o of_o we_o she_o be_v both_o nurse_n and_o instructor_n my_o mother_n have_v child_n thick_o and_o nurse_v we_o all_o herself_o be_v render_v less_o capable_a and_o therefore_o my_o dear_a aunt_n be_v service_n be_v much_o more_o grateful_a and_o acceptable_a i_o go_v not_o to_o school_v of_o several_a year_n and_o when_o i_o do_v make_v but_o little_a proficiency_n have_v a_o averseness_n to-learning_n or_o rather_o to_o study_v the_o burdensome_a part_n of_o it_o my_o inclination_n and_o fancy_n work_v rather_o to_o other_o thing_n as_o write_v heraldry_n music_n etc._n etc._n and_o these_o exercise_n i_o use_v not_o only_o as_o diversion_n but_o spend_v all_o the_o time_n i_o can_v ever_o be_v master_n of_o in_o they_o my_o father_n therefore_o perceive_v i_o to_o decline_v learning_n give_v i_o my_o choice_n of_o any_o trade_n i_o incline_v most_o to_o a_o herauld-painter_n have_v 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answer_n to_o a_o good_a education_n the_o lord_n have_v bless_v i_o with_o these_o particular_a sin_n i_o remember_v sin_n i_o be_v too_o frequent_o guilty_a of_o viz._n waste_v my_o master_n time_n by_o employ_v too_o much_o in_o my_o own_o service_n and_o that_o general_o to_o my_o disadvantage_n neglect_v of_o duty_n equivocation_n studious_o contrive_v for_o the_o cover_n conceal_v and_o hide_v other_o fault_n which_o then_o i_o remember_v the_o devil_n and_o my_o own_o naughty_a heart_n persuade_v i_o be_v not_o lie_v yet_o since_o through_o grace_n i_o have_v learn_v to_o know_v be_v no_o better_o be_v intend_v and_o contrive_v for_o the_o deceive_a of_o other_o and_o thus_o i_o have_v most_o wicked_o
come_v to_o see_v my_o need_n of_o christ_n and_o to_o be_v satisfy_v that_o a_o single_a christ_n will_v be_v of_o more_o worth_n than_o ten_o thousand_o world_n and_o these_o be_v the_o text_n of_o scripture_n that_o do_v much_o revive_v i_o viz._n that_o christ_n jesus_n come_v into_o the_o world_n to_o save_v sinner_n and_o that_o the_o gospel-tenders_a of_o he_o be_v to_o such_o and_o that_o the_o covenant-term_n of_o salvation_n be_v attainable_a through_o assist_v grace_n isai_n 1._o 18._o come_v now_o let_v we_o reason_v together_o say_v the_o lord_n though_o your_o sin_n be_v as_o scarlet_n they_o shall_v be_v white_a as_o snow_n and_o though_o they_o be_v red_a as_o crimson_n they_o shall_v be_v as_o wool_n o_o what_o encouragement_n be_v here_o think_v i_o for_o i_o a_o sinner_n who_o though_o but_o young_a in_o year_n be_v yet_o old_a in_o sin_n and_o another_o encourage_v scripture_n i_o often_o think_v on_o be_v prov._n 28._o 13._o he_o that_o confess_v and_o forsake_v his_o sin_n shall_v find_v mercy_n and_o isai_n 55._o 7._o let_v the_o wicked_a for_o sake_n his_o way_n and_o the_o unrighteous_a man_n his_o thought_n and_o let_v he_o turn_v unto_o the_o lord_n and_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n upon_o he_o and_o to_o our_o god_n for_o he_o will_v abundant_o pardon_v i_o then_o to_o encourage_v my_o return_n to_o god_n and_o the_o forsake_v of_o my_o sin_n think_v of_o the_o great_a sinner_n that_o have_v obtain_v mercy_n such_o as_o manasseh_n mary_n magdalen_n and_o some_o of_o the_o very_a jew_n that_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n and_o have_v murder_v the_o son_n of_o god_n yet_o through_o repentance_n and_o faith_n in_o christ_n many_o of_o they_o be_v pardon_v and_o save_v nay_o paul_n that_o eminent_a pattern_n of_o god_n free_a grace_n to_o great_a sinner_n and_o david_n and_o other_o of_o god_n dear_a child_n that_o have_v foul_o fall_v be_v encouragement_n to_o i_o a_o prodigal_n now_o to_o arise_v and_o go_v to_o 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the_o year_n 1665_o to_o my_o father_n house_n then_o at_o swinder_n by_o and_o then_o begin_v other_o sin_n to_o appear_v in_o i_o as_o the_o product_n or_o remainder_n of_o corruption_n in_o my_o nature_n i_o have_v great_a cause_n to_o bewail_v and_o lament_v that_o proud_a garb_n i_o come_v from_o london_n in_o have_v i_o do_v believe_v expend_v as_o much_o for_o one_o suit_n of_o clothes_n as_o will_v have_v clothe_v complete_o 40_o poor_a servant_n of_o jesus_n christ_n for_o which_o equipage_n i_o contract_v much_o debt_n in_o london_n which_o my_o father_n after_o pay_v i_o have_v then_o so_o proud_a a_o humour_n that_o i_o think_v this_o dress_n tho'_o excessive_o gaudy_a be_v but_o suitable_a to_o my_o rank_n tho'_o alas_o much_o beyond_o it_o this_o vanity_n i_o can_v hardly_o think_v of_o without_o blush_v yet_o now_o live_v a_o idle_a life_n and_o be_v dreadful_o puff_v up_o with_o pride_n tho_o alas_o alas_o i_o have_v nothing_o in_o the_o world_n to_o be_v proud_a of_o but_o rather_o to_o be_v humble_v for_o i_o present_o be_v under_o temptation_n to_o think_v that_o i_o must_v now_o carry_v it_o out_o and_o live_v at_o the_o rate_n of_o my_o father_n elder_a son_n and_o not_o as_o mr._n oglethorp_n apprentice_n and_o servant_n now_o it_o be_v that_o though_o indeed_o i_o dare_v not_o much_o associate_n with_o wicked_a companion_n that_o be_v stranger_n though_o neighbour_n to_o i_o yet_o i_o do_v it_o too_o much_o with_o those_o that_o be_v relation_n and_o think_v that_o relation_n will_v justify_v that_o practice_n not_o consider_v the_o snare_n of_o it_o i_o there_o make_v too_o many_o sinful_a slip_v go_v often_o to_o norton_n and_o norwell_n where_o i_o meet_v with_o such_o company_n as_o have_v not_o freegrace_n sustain_v i_o have_v certain_o ruin_v i_o both_o as_o to_o my_o principle_n and_o practice_n there_o it_o be_v i_o fall_v to_o the_o practice_n of_o good_a fellowship_n most_o undeserved_o so_o call_v and_o then_o have_v be_v persuade_v to_o think_v that_o time_n well_o spend_v can_v sometime_o most_o wicked_o triumph_v in_o my_o ability_n to_o bear_v strong_a drink_n not_o consider_v the_o sad_a woe_n in_o scripture_n denounce_v against_o such_o at_o that_o time_n i_o learn_v to_o drink_v and_o game_n and_o smoke_n tobacco_n and_o trifle_n etc._n etc._n and_o spend_v by_o persuasion_n of_o other_o though_o my_o bad_a heart_n be_v most_o to_o blame_v not_o only_o day_n but_o night_n in_o those_o kind_n of_o excess_n and_o here_o i_o can_v but_o observe_v how_o unwilling_a the_o devil_n be_v to_o lose_v i_o who_o so_o late_o have_v be_v his_o prey_n and_o lead_v captive_a by_o he_o at_o his_o pleasure_n but_o yet_o after_o these_o relapse_n for_o ever_o magnify_v be_v distinguish_v love_n the_o lord_n gracious_o give_v i_o a_o check_n and_o after_o some_o reproof_n and_o advice_n from_o parent_n and_o serious_a friend_n i_o again_o begin_v to_o consider_v my_o way_n conscience_n be_v startle_v and_o begin_v to_o do_v the_o office_n of_o a_o faithful_a monitor_n and_o this_o scripture_n be_v often_o in_o my_o thought_n and_o sound_v terrible_o in_o my_o ear_n he_o that_o be_v often_o reprove_v and_o harden_v his_o heart_n shall_v sudden_o be_v destroy_v and_o that_o without_o remedy_n much_o precious_a time_n i_o do_v waste_v and_o trifle_v away_o in_o those_o day_n in_o sinful_a delight_n and_o pleasure_n the_o want_n of_o which_o i_o now_o sad_o experience_n several_a gentlewoman_n one_o after_o another_o i_o court_v be_v invite_v thereto_o by_o one_o friend_n or_o other_o and_o too_o many_o of_o my_o address_n of_o that_o nature_n be_v too_o extravagant_a inconsiderate_a and_o sinful_a which_o the_o lord_n have_v humble_v i_o much_o for_o since_o from_o swinderby_n i_o go_v to_o barkston_n with_o my_o father_n and_o his_o family_n who_o go_v to_o settle_v there_o for_o the_o sake_n of_o mr._n trott_n the_o minister_n of_o that_o town_n and_o a_o worthy_a good_a man_n whilst_o there_o i_o go_v sometime_o to_o grantham_n to_o hear_v some_o nonconformist_a minister_n as_o there_o be_v opportunity_n for_o their_o preach_a which_o be_v but_o seldom_o much_o soul-advantage_n i_o receive_v then_o through_o the_o lord_n blessing_n upon_o mr._n sharp_n ministry_n who_o be_v then_o a_o nonconformist_a of_o very_o great_a note_n after_o this_o my_o father_n buy_v a_o house_n at_o lincoln_n we_o remove_v to_o it_o and_o thither_o the_o lord_n in_o his_o providence_n send_v holy_a humble_a and_o worthy_a mr._n abdy_n to_o be_v pastor_n of_o that_o congregation_n for_o which_o he_o have_v liberty_n by_o the_o king_n proclamation_n and_o licence_n of_o indulgence_n here_o i_o delight_v great_o to_o attend_v upon_o those_o ordinance_n through_o god_n blessing_n upon_o which_o and_o a_o intimate_a correspondence_n i_o hold_v with_o he_o i_o receive_v much_o benefit_n then_o begin_v i_o in_o good_a earnest_n to_o set_v my_o face_n heaven-ward_n and_o to_o mind_v the_o great_a work_n the_o lord_n send_v i_o into_o and_o continue_v i_o in_o the_o world_n about_o now_o begin_v i_o not_o only_o to_o observe_v my_o private_a retirement_n for_o prayer_n but_o to_o pray_v in_o my_o father_n family_n though_o too_o hypocritical_o in_o those_o my_o first_o attempt_n i_o have_v cause_n enough_o to_o believe_v however_o have_v cast_v a_o look_v heavenward_n hell_n be_v present_o in_o a_o uproar_v the_o devil_n storm_n at_o it_o my_o old_a companion_n begin_v to_o upbraid_v i_o for_o it_o which_o yet_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o grace_n to_o bear_v with_o patience_n as_o know_v that_o i_o have_v much_o better_o bear_v and_o endure_v the_o frown_n of_o wicked_a man_n for_o be_v religious_a than_o the_o everlasting_a frown_n of_o the_o great_a god_n for_o not_o
incline_v to_o expect_v or_o depend_v upon_o much_o of_o the_o world_n nor_o ever_o lie_v under_o the_o temptation_n of_o desire_v any_o friend_n death_n for_o my_o worldly_a advance_n my_o father_n be_v most_o persuasive_a letter_n for_o my_o live_n with_o he_o i_o answer_v large_o the_o 22d_o of_o february_n 16â—5_n after_o i_o have_v consider_v and_o debate_v the_o thing_n deliberate_o advise_v with_o friend_n seek_v god_n by_o prayer_n and_o weigh_v reason_n for_o it_o and_o against_o it_o which_o be_v of_o late_a year_n my_o constant_a method_n for_o the_o decide_n any_o difficult_a case_n and_o answer_v he_o in_o the_o negative_a for_o the_o reason_n under-written_a if_o he_o will_v please_v to_o approve_v of_o they_o which_o he_o do_v reason_n against_o leave_v nottingham_n such_o as_o these_o 1._o we_o come_v to_o nottingham_n with_o the_o concur_v consent_n of_o all_o our_o friend_n now_o by_o remove_v further_o from_o they_o we_o must_v i_o see_v necessary_o disoblige_v 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child_n yea_o the_o child_n of_o religious_a parent_n and_o i_o think_v i_o can_v so_o faithful_o discharge_v that_o trust_n nor_o answer_v the_o end_n of_o he_o i_o honour_v now_o with_o god_n if_o whilst_o i_o may_v i_o have_v they_o not_o under_o my_o eye_n especial_o whilst_o so_o young_a 7._o both_o my_o wife_n and_o myself_o be_v very_o much_o averse_a to_o table_v for_o many_o reason_n 8._o another_o reason_n that_o i_o think_v material_a at_o that_o time_n be_v this_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n away_o with_o a_o country-life_n i_o have_a here_o the_o advantage_n of_o improve_n myself_o and_o do_v good_a to_o other_o i_o can_v expect_v in_o a_o country-retirement_n 9_o i_o have_v some_o year_n unexpired_a in_o my_o lease_n of_o this_o house_n i_o be_o in_o 10._o i_o have_v take_v several_a tabler_n these_o reason_n full_o satisfy_v my_o father_n disney_n and_o mother_n and_o i_o have_v their_o leave_n to_o continue_v at_o nottingham_n and_o here_o the_o lord_n bless_v i_o 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the_o concurrence_n of_o god_n to_o remove_v and_o that_o as_o sometime_o we_o think_v to_o london_n ground_v my_o opinion_n of_o the_o lawfulness_n of_o it_o upon_o some_o reason_n but_o especial_o upon_o that_o text_n of_o scripture_n if_o they_o persecute_v yond_o in_o one_o city_n flee_v to_o another_o for_o about_o half_a a_o year_n i_o seek_v counsel_n of_o god_n in_o the_o thing_n have_v always_o a_o desire_n to_o be_v where_o god_n will_v have_v i_o but_o have_v all_o this_o while_n by_o myself_o and_o friend_n use_v all_o the_o mean_n i_o can_v to_o provide_v a_o convenient_a habitation_n i_o meet_v with_o constant_a disappointment_n as_o to_o those_o house_n which_o lay_v most_o convenient_a for_o the_o management_n of_o my_o affair_n which_o be_v shipley_n codgrave_n and_o brameote_n and_o as_o for_o london_n i_o be_v persuade_v it_o be_v too_o remote_a from_o my_o business_n and_o too_o far_o distant_a from_o friend_n on_o october_n the_o 19_o 1682_o winter_n be_v far_o come_v on_o and_o way_n bad_a i_o take_v up_o a_o resolution_n with_o the_o advice_n of_o friend_n to_o settle_v at_o my_o own_o house_n in_o nottingham_n that_o i_o have_v buy_v upon_o the_o high-pavement_n these_o be_v the_o reason_n that_o prevail_v with_o i_o 1._o most_o of_o those_o who_o i_o consult_v with_o be_v of_o opinion_n wherever_o i_o go_v i_o shall_v be_v liable_a to_o suffering_n if_o i_o keep_v from_o sinful_a compliance_n and_o may_v be_v as_o safe_a in_o nottingham_n as_o elsewhere_o 2._o god_n do_v at_o that_o time_n wonderful_o incline_v myself_o and_o wife_n to_o make_v a_o trial_n of_o that_o house_n 3._o it_o be_v at_o that_o time_n providential_o at_o liberty_n the_o tenant_n i_o have_v be_v go_v and_o the_o house_n upon_o my_o hand_n and_o here_o though_o bless_v be_v god_n from_o my_o marriage_n i_o do_v not_o neglect_v family-duty_n i_o set_v upon_o a_o more_o strict_a conscionable_a and_o methodical_a discharge_n of_o all_o the_o duty_n of_o religion_n 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