father thought none fit to bee his nurse but the Virgin his mother The fountaines of the earth are made to giue water the breasts of women are made to giue suck Euery beast and euery foule is bred of the same that did beare it onely women loue to be mothers but not nurces Therefore if their children prooue vnnaturall they may say thou followest thy mother for she was vnnaturall first in locking vp her breasts from thee and committing thee foorth like a Cuckowe to bee hatched in the Sparowes nest Hereof it comes that wee say he suckt euill from the dugge that is as the Nurse is affected in her bodie or in her minde commonly the childe draweth the like infirmitie from her as the egges of a Henne are altered vnder a Hawke yet they which haue no milke can giue no milke but whose breasts haue this perpetuall drought Forsooth it is like the Gowte no beggers may haue it but Citizens or Gentlewomen In the 9. of Hosee drie breasts are named for a curse what lamentable hap haue Gentlewomen to light vpon this curse more than other Sure if their breasts bee drie as they say they should fast pray together that this curse might bee remooued from them The next duetie is Catechize child in his youth and he will remember it when he is olde This is the right blessing which fathers and mothers giue to their children when they cause GOD to blesse them too The wrong mother cared not though the child were diuided but the right mother wold not haue it diuided so wicked parents care not though their children be destroyed but godly parents would not haue them destroyed but saued that when they haue dwelt together in earth they may dwell together in heauen As the Midwife frameth the bodie when it is yong and tender so the parēts must frame the mind while it is greene and flexible for youth is the seede time of vertue They which are called fathers are called by the name of God to warne thē that they are in stead of GOD to their children which teacheth all his sonnes What example haue children but their parents And sure the prouidence of God doth ease their charge more than they are aware for a childe will learne better of his father than of any other And therfore we reade of no Schoolemasters in the Scripture but the parents for when Christ saith to the Iewes If ye be the sonnes of Abraham ye will doo the workes of your father Abraham He sheweth that sonnes vse to walke in their fathers steps whether they be good or bad It is a merueilous delight to father mother when people say that their children are like them but if they be like them in goodnes it is as great a delight to other as to the parents or els wee say that they are so like that they are worse for it Well doth Dauid call children arrowes for if they bee well bred they shoote at their parents enemies if they be euill bred they shoote at their parents Therfore many fathers want a staffe to stay them in their age because they prepared none before like olde Eli which was corrected himselfe for not correcting his sonnes Are not children called the fruit of their parēts Therfore as a good tree is knowne by bringing foorth good fruite so parents should shewe their goodnes in the good education of their children which are their fruite For this cause the Iewes were wont to name their children so when they were borne that euer after if they did but thinke vppon their names they would put them in minde of that religion which they should professe for they did signifie somthing that they should learne An admonition to such as call their children at al aduentures sometimes by the names of doggs euen as they prooue after In the 1. King 2. 2. wee haue Dauid instructing his sonnes In Gen. 39. Iaacob correcting his sonnes and in Iob. 1. Iob praying for his sonnes These three put together Instructing Correcting and Praying make good children and happie parents Once Christ tooke a child and set him in the middest of his Disciples and sayd He which will receiue the kingdome of heauen must receiue it as a little child Shewing that our children should bee so innocent so humble and voide of euill that they may bee taken for examples of the children of God Therefore in Psal. 127. 4. children are called the heritage of the Lord to shewe that they should bee trained as though they were not mens children but Gods that they may haue Gods heritage after Thus if you doo your seruants shall bee Gods seruants and your children shall bee Gods children and your house shall be Gods house like a little Church when others are like a den of theeues Now I speake to one which is a mother so soone as she is maried therefore peraduenture you looke that I should shewe the duetie of stepmothers Their name dooth shewe them their duetie too for a stepmother dooth signifie a stedmother that is one mother dyeth another commeth in her stead therfore that your loue may settle to those little ones as it ought you must remember that you are their stedmother that is in sted of their mother therfore to loue them and tender them and cherish them as their mother did Further these children are Orphanes and therefore you must not onely regarde them as children but as Orphane children Now God requireth a greater care ouer Widdowes and Orphanes than ouer any other women or children Lastly you must remember that saying As you measure vnto other so it shall be measured to you againe That is as you intreate these children so an other may come after and intreate your children for he which hath taken away the first mother and sent you can take away the second mother and send a third which shall not bee like a stedmother to yours vnlesse you be like a stedmother to these If these dueties bee performed in Marriage then I need not speak of Diuorcement which is the rod of Marriage and diuideth them which were one flesh as if the bodie and soule were parted a sunder But because all performe not their Wedlocke vowes therfore hee which appoynted Marriage hath appoynted Diuorcement as it were taking our priuiledge frō vs when we abuse it As God hath ordained remedies for euery disease so he hath ordained a remedie for the disease of Marriage The disease of Marriage is Adulterie and the medicine hereof is Diuorcement Moses licenced thē to depart for hardnes of heart but Christ licenseth them to depart for no cause but Adulterie If they might bee separated for discorde some would make a commoditie of strife but now they are not best to bee contentious for this lawe will hold their noses together till wearines make them leaue strugling like two spaniels which are coupled in a
A Preparatiue to Mariage The summe whereof was spoken at a Contract and inlarged after Whereunto is annexed a Treatise of the Lords Supper and another of Usurie BY HENRIE SMITH Imprinted at London by Thomas Orwin for Thomas Man dwelling in Paternoster row at the signe of the Talbot 1591. NOBILISSIMO VIRO GVILIELMO CEcilio Equiti aurato Baroni Burghleiensi summo Angliae Thesaurario Cantabrigiensis Academiae Cancellario Henricus Smithus haec tria pignota in grati animi testimonium consecrauit To the Reader BEcause sicknesse hath restrained mee from preaching I am content to doe anye good by writing Happye is that Author which is in stead of other that after his Booke is read men neede reade no moe of that matter I goe on a Theame which many haue trauersed before mee prolixely or cursorily or barrenly If I haue performed by studie any more than the rest let my reader iudge and giue glory to him which teacheth by whome he will What I haue endeuored my selfe doo feele and others knowe We are ignorant of many things for a few that we vnderstand but I haue bin alwaye ashamed that my writings shoulde waigh lighter for want of paines which is the bane of Printing and surfetteth the Reader Now I send thee like a Bee to gather Honie out of slowers and weedes Euery Garden is furnished with others and so is ours Reade pray and med 〈…〉 thy profit shall be little in any booke vnlesse thou reade alone and vnlesse thou reade all It is one of the births of my fainting therefore take it with a right hand and if thou finde any thing that doth make thee better I repent not that others importunitie hath obtained it for thee Farewell As Iacob blessed his sonnes when he left them so now I must leaue my fruite to others I pray God to blesse it that it may bring foorth fruit in other and be the sauour of life to all that reade it Thine in Christ H. S. The principall contents of this Treatise THE cause of contracts before Mariage Fol. 2. Three honours geuen of God to Mariage Fol. 3. Three causes of Mariage Fol. 13. Whether Ministers may marry Fol. 19. Whether an old man may marry a young woman contra Fol. 14. Whether Protestants may marry Papists Fol. 47. Whether Children may marry without Parentes consent Fol. 45. Whether Husbands may strike their Wiues Fol. 69. Whether the vse of Mariage be sinne Fol. 23. Whether Mothers should nurse their Children Fol. 99. Fiue markes in the choise of a Husband or Wife Fol. 35. The Husbands dueties Fol. 62. The Wiues dueties Fol. 74. Their duties to their Seruants Fol. 68. Their duties to their Children Fol. 77. Of Stepmothers Fol. 105. Of Diuorcement Fol. 107. Other obseruations that fall in handling the partes MAriage the first ordinance of God and calling of men Fol. 4. Christs first myracle at a Mariage Fol. 5. Three Mariages of Christ. Fol. 6. By Mariage the Womans curse turned to two blessings Fol. 6. A note of Adams sleepe Fol. 10. Another application of his rib whereof was made the woman Fol. 11. The day of Mariage counted the ioyfullest day in mans life Fol. 11. A good Wife like little Zoar which Lot sled to from Sodom Fol. 12. Without Mariage all things should be vaine Fol. 14. Fornicators like the Deuill Fol. 18. No Bastarde prospered but Iiphtah Fol. 19. A maried sornicator like a Gentleman theese Fol. 19. A Wife is the poore mans treasure wherein only he matcheth the rich Fol. 26. Two spies for a Wise Discretion and Fancie Fol. 27. The Wife must not onely be godly but sit Fol. 28. A memorable saying of one that light vpon a sit Wife Fol. 32. The first beginning of the Ring in Marige Fol. 31. Why Mariage doth come of Nuptiae Fol. 37. Maides must speake like an Eccho Fol. 38. A lesson for the married drawne from the name of Wedding garment Fol. 52. The Man and Wife like cock and dam. Fol. 54. Marriage compounded of two loues Fol. 55. The best pollicie in Marriage is to begin well Fol. 58. They must learne one anothers nature Fol. 59. A sweete example teaching how coples shall neuer fall out Fol. 61. Man and Wife like two partners Fol. 66. Abraham bid to leaue all but his Wife Fol. 66. Why Wiues are called Huswiues Fol. 79. When the man is away the Wife must liue like a Widdow Fol 81. Why a Wife was called the Contrary to a Husband Fol. 82. The cause why many despise their Husbands Fol. 86. Many obseruations vppon Seruanntes Fol. 88. The Maister must correct his men and the Mistresse her maides Fol. 97. Children like mediators betweene a man and his Wife Fol. 98. Adulterie like the disease of Marriage and diuorcement like the remedie Fol. 107. Why Adulterie should dissolue Marriage more than anye thing else Fol. 110. A sentence for the Married to thinke vppon Fol. 111. A Preparatiue to Marriage YOu are come hether to bee contracted in the Lord that is of two to bee made one for as GOD hath knit the bones and sinewes together for the strengthening of the bodie so he hath knit man and woman together for the strengthening of this life because two are stronger than one and therefore when GOD made the Woman for Man he sayd I will make him a helpe shewing that man is stronger by his Wife Euerie Marriage before it bee knit should bee contracted as it is shewed in Exo. 22. 16. and Deut. 22. 28. which stay betweene the Contract the Marriage was the time of longing for their affections to settle in because the deferring of that which wee loue doth kindle the desire which if it came easilie and speedilie to vs would make vs set lesse by it Therefore wee reade how Ioseph and Marie were contracted before they were married In the Contract Christ was conceaued and in the Mariage Christ was borne that he might honour both estates Virginitie with his Conception and Marriage with his Birth You are contracted but to bee married therefore I passe from Contracts to speake of Mariage which is nothing els but a communion of life between man and woman ioyned together according to the ordinance of God First I will shewe the excellencie of Marriage then the institution of it then the causes of it then the choise of it then the dueties of it and lastly the diuorcement of it Well might Paule say Mariage is honourable for God hath honoured it himselfe It is honourable for the author honourable for the time and honorable for the place Whereas all other ordinaunces were appoynted of GOD by the hands of men or the hands of Angells Marriage was ordained by God himselfe which cannot erre No man nor Angell brought the Wife to the Husband but GOD himselfe so Marriage hath more honour of God in this than all other ordinances of God beside because he
are giuen of parents but a good wife is giuen of God as though a good wife were such a gift as we should account from God alone and accept as if hee should send vs a present from heauen with this name written vpon it The gift of God Beasts are ordained for foode and cloathes for warmth and flowers for pleasure but the wife is ordained for man like little Zoar a Citie of refuge to flie to in all his troubles there is no peace comparable vnto her but the peace of conscience Now it must needes be that Mariage which was ordeined of such an excellent Author and in such a happie place and of such an auncient time and after such a notable order must likewise haue speciall causes for the ordenance of it Therefore the holie Ghost doth shewe vs three causes of this Vnion One is the propagation of children signified in that when Moses saith He created them male and female not both male nor both female but one male and the other female as if he created them fit to propagate other And therefore when he had created them so to shewe that propagation of children is one ende of Mariage he saide vnto them Increase and multiplie that is bring forth children as other creatures bring forth their kinde For this cause Marriage is called Matrimonie which signifieth Mothers because it makes them Mothers which were Virgins before and is the seminarie of the worlde without which all things should be in vaine for want of men to vse them for God reserueth the great Citie to himselfe and this suburbs he hath set out to vs which are regents by sea and by lande If children be such a chiefe end of Marriage then it seemes that where there can be no hope of children for age or other causes there Marriage is not so lawfull because it is maimed of one of his ends and seemes rather to be sought for wealth or for lust than for this blessing of children It is not good grafting of an olde head vppon young shoulders for they will neuer beare it willingly but grudgingly Twise the Wife is called the Wife of thy youth as though when men are old the time of Marrying were past Therefore God makes such vnequall matches so ridiculous euery where that they please none but the parties themselues vntill the time of their dotage be expired The second cause is to auoide fornication this Paule signifieth when he saith For the auoiding of fornication let euery man haue his owne wife He saith not for auoiding of adultery but for auoiding of fornication shewing that fornication is vnlawfull too which the Papists make lawfull in mainteining their Stewes as a stage for fornicators to play vppon and a Sanctuary to defende them like Absoloms Tent which was spread vpon the top of the house that all Israel might see how he defiled his fathers concubines For this cause Malachi sayth that God did create but one Woman for the man he had power to create moe but to shewe that he woulde haue him sticke to one therefore he created of one ribbe but one wife for one husbande and in the Arke there were no moe women than men But foure wiues for four husbands although it was in the beginning of the world when many wiues might seeme necessarie to multiply mankinde If any might haue a dispensation heerein it seemes the King might be priuiledged before any other because of succession to the Crowne if his wife should happen to be barren And yet the King is forbidden to take many wiues in Deut. 17. 17. as well as the Minister in 1. Timo. 3. 2. shewing that the danger of the state doth not counteruaile the danger of fornication For this cause we reade of none but wicked Lamech before the Flood that had moe wiues than one whome Iouinian calleth a monster because he made 2. ribs of one And another saith that the name of his second wife doth signifie a shadowe because she was not a wife but the shaddowe of a wife for this cause the Scripture neuer biddeth man to loue his wiues but to loue his Wife and sayeth They shall be two in one fleshe not three nor foure but onely two For this cause Salomon calleth the whorish woman a strange woman to shew that she should be a stranger to vs and we should be strange to her For this cause children which are borne in mariage are called Liberi which signifieth free borne and they which are borne out of marriage are called Bastards that is base borne like the Mule which is ingendred of an Asse a Mare Therefore adulterers are likened to the Deuill which sowed another mans ground other sowe for a Haruest but they sowe that which they dare not reape Therfore children borne in Wedlocke were counted Gods blessing because they come by vertue of that blessing Increase and multiplie But before Adam and Eue were married God neuer sayd Increase shewing that he did cursse and not blesse such increase Therefore we reade not in all the Scripture of one Bastard that came to any good but onely Iphtah and to shewe that no inheritance did belong to them in heauen they had no inheritance in earth neyther were counted of the congregation as other were Deut. 23. 2. Now because Marriage was appointed for a remedie against fornication therefore the lawe of God inflicted a sorer punishment vppon them which did commit vncleannes after Marriage than vppon him which was not married because he sinned although he had the remedie of sinne lyke a rich theese which stealeth and hath no neede Now if Marriage be a remedie against the sinne of fornication then vnlesse Ministers may commit the sinne of fornication it seemes that they may vse the remedie as well as other for as it is better for one man to marrie than to burne so it is better for all men to marrie than to burne and therefore Paule sayth Marriage is honourable amongst all men And againe for the auoiding of fornication let euery man haue his Wife And as though he did forsee that some woulde excepte the Minister in time to come in the first of Timo. 3. 2. hee speaketh more precisely of the Ministers wife than of any other saying Let him be the husband of one Wise and least ye should say that by one wife he meaneth one Benefice like the Papists He expoundeth himself in the fourth verse and saith that he must be one that can rule his house well and his children Sure God would not haue these children to be Bastards and therefore it is like that he aloweth the Minister a Wife Therefore Paule said well that he had no commandement for Virginitie for Virginitie cannot be commaunded because it is a speciall gift but not a speciall gift to Ministers therfore they are