The meaning is that she getteth some matter to worke on that she may exercise her selfe and her familie in and it is not some idle toy to make the world gay withall but some matter of good vse Her familie is clothed with double and her husband is knowne in the gate he is so comely and trimly apparelled by her diligence at home that he is in regard among men and knowne when he goeth But what need such as can liue by their lands to labour with their hands What neede had the woman that Salomon speaketh of The conscience of doing good in the world should draw them to do that which no neede driueth them vnto Remēber that the vertuous woman stretcheth out her hand to the poore and needie Prou. 21. 20. She giueth not of her husbands she giueth of her owne she found a way to do good without the hurt of her husband S. Paul requireth that women should aray themselues with good works the comeliest ornament in the world if women had spirituall eyes to discerne it Dorcas in the Actes teacheth wiues how to get this array for she made garments to cloath the naked and the poore Thus might women finde how to set themselues a worke though they could liue of their owne But for such as haue but a meane allowance God thereby sheweth that he will haue them occupie themselues in some honest labour to keepe them from idlenesse and the euils that issue there-from They therefore must labour if not to sell cloth as Salomons woman did nor to cloath the poore as Dorcas did yet to cloath her family that they may not care for the cold Let her auoide such occasions as may draw her from her calling She must shake of sloth and loue of ease she must auoyd gossiping further then the law of good neighbourhood doth require S. Paul would haue a woman a good home keeper The vertuous woman is neuer so wel as when she is in the middest of her affaires She that much frequenteth meetings of gossips seldome commeth better home Some count it a disgrace to come much abroad least they should be counted gossips which name is become odious but they must haue tatlers come home to them to bring them newes and to hold them in a tale lest they should be thought to be idle without a cause They perceiue not how time runneth nor how vntowardly their busines goeth forward while they sit idle They know not that great tale-bringers be as great carriers and that such make their gaine of carrying and recarrying The wise woman will be warie whom she admitteth into her house to sit long there knowing that their occupations is but to marke and carry Towards her neighbours she is not sowre but curteous not disdainefull to the basest but affable with modestie no fcorner nor giber but bearing with infirmities and making the best of things not ready to stomacke them for euery light matter and so to looke big but passing by offences for vnities sake not angrie but milde not bold but bashfull not full of words powring out all her mind and babling of her household matters that were more fitter to be concealed but speaking vpon good occasion and that with discretion Let her heare and see and say the best and yet let her soone breake off talke with such in whom she perceiueth no wisedome nor sauour of grace Let her not be light to beleeue reports nor ready to tell them againe to fill the time with talke for silence is farre better then such vnsauory talke Let her not be churlish but helpefull in all things to preuent breaches or else to make them vp againe if by the waywardnesse of others there be any made Let her not be enuious but glad of the good of others nor fond of euery thing that she seeth her neighbour haue but wisely considering what is meete for her selfe what her state wil beare Let her not be garish in apparell but sober and modest not nice nor coy but handsome and huswife-like no talker of other mens matters nor giuen to speake ill of any for feare of the like measure Math. 7. 2. 1. The dutie of the Husband towards his Wife THis dutie consisteth seuerally in these three points First that he liue with his wife discreetly according vnto knowledge Secondly that he be not bitter fierce and cruell vnto her Thirdly that he loue cherish and nourish his wife euen as his owne body and as Christ loued the Church and gaue himselfe for it to sanctifie it But before we shall speake of these three points we will a little touch the originall and beginning of holy wedlocke what it is when where how and of whom it was instituted and ordained Wedlocke or Matrimonie is a lawfull knot and vnto God 〈◊〉 acceptable yoking and ioyning together of one man and one woman with the good consent of them both to the end that they may dwell together in friendship and honesty one helping and comforting the other eschuing whoredome and all vncleannesse bringing vp their children in the feare of God or it is a coupling together of two persons into one flesh according to the ordinance of God not to be broken but so to continue during the life of either of them Gen. 22. Malach. 2. 14. Rom. 7. 31. By yoking ioyning or coupling is meant not onely outward dwelling together of the married folkes as to be ordinarily in a dwelling place for the better performance of mutuall duties each to other Mat. 1. 18. 1. Corin. 7. 10. 12. 13. 1. Pet. 3. 7. Ruth 4. 11. 12. but also an vniforme agreement of mind and a common participation of body and goods for as much as the Lord saith that they two shall be one flesh that is one body This is to be remembred that Matrimonie or Wedlocke must not onely be a coupling together but also must be such a coupling together as cometh of God and is not contrary to his word and will For there be some mariages made whom God coupleth not together but carnall lust beauty riches goods and landes flatterie and frienship In such marriages God is not thought vpon and therefore they sinne the more against him These and such like marriages be disliked and condemned in the Scripture Gene. 6. 12. c. Math. 24. 38. 39. God himselfe did appoint and ordaine matrimonie in Paradice so that he is the author of the same Gen. 2 20. Yea and so our Sauiour Christ himselfe who was the very naturall Sonne of God being borne in wedlocke although of a pure Virgin did honour commend matrimony while he did vouchsafe to shew his first miracle Ioh. 2. 1. at a Marriage whereby he did declare that the Lord is able to make the bitternesse of mariage sweet the scarcity thereof to abound with plenty And the Apostle giueth this excellent title to Marriage saying that it is Honourable among all Heb 13. 4.
A GODLY FORME OF HOVSHOLD GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods Word Wherunto is adioyned in a more particular manner the seuerall duties of the Husband towards his wife and the wiues dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their children and the childrens towards their parents The Maisters dutie towards his seruants and also the seruants duty towards their Maisters First gathered by R. C. and now newly perused amended and augmented by Iohn Dod and Robert Cleuer ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BERNARD What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy Name of our Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour LONDON Printed by R. Field for Thomas Man and are to be sold by Arthur Iohnson neare the great North doore of Pauls Church 1621. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVL MAISTER ROBERT Burgaine of Roxall one of his Maiesties Iustices of peace in the County of Warwicke to the right worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple hall in the Countse of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the Father by Iesus Christ and constancy in the truth of the Gospell to the end and in the end Auing collected finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising very carefully with my selfe to whom I might Dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage therof then some such meete persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall charges the seuerall points and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherupon calling to minde the holy exercises daily vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all iointly Patrons thereof First for that I acknowledge my self beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintanoe with you and therefore left I should deserue the blame of vnthankfulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your Names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of marriage so also you are and haue bin a long time inseparably knit in a zealous and sincere profession of Gods word and Religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly wold yet lest I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeares in an idle condition or to hide my talent in a napkin I haue bene no lesse carefull then willing to labour other wayes to do what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purpose of my writings For such Housholders as pretend to be great Protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long enough talke of Discipline and still complaine of the want of Church gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their owne houses according to the direction in this Treatise and so suffer the holy religion of God to take place among their familie at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profite little For although there be neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in truth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in truth they were disordered and are still corrupted and marred at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnes which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden duties are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to be practised within their seuerall housholds For if Parents and Housholders shall performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meate drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and infidels do yeeld this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullockes should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a Christian housholder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants as much more Christian care then he hath ouer dumbe and insensible beasts that so he may receiue a singular comfort from the daily contēplation of their increase in spirituall graces Oh what a sweet and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder when he hath bene so diligent and carefull in the training and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and wayes of the Lord that he may rightly deserue to haue this worthy report and commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly Namely that he hath a Church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed as the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly house-keepers Aquila and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16. 5. 1. Cor. 16. 19 as also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and householders are in the Lord to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of his Couenant or at the least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding that their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children and seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alas many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing moued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know
yet if the parents afterwards shall certainely know this and that there was no will nor vnfained meaning at all in the party neither yet is but rather a loathing and abhorring of his Spouse betrothed though he be not able to render iust and sufficient cause thereof they may vpon this occasion either deferre the day of marriage the louger to see if God will happily change the mind of the partie or vtterly breake and frustrate the promise if all good meanes and occasions hauing bene vsed none will preuaile but that the party rather groweth worse and worse For a Contract being a willing and a voluntary consent there is no cause why the parents and such as haue authority and power in sueh cases when they shall vndoubttedly know that the promise was altogether vnwilling and therefore made in meere hypocrisie and dissimulation neither can be by tract of time or any other good meanes vsed be bettered but rather waxeth worse and worse may not breake and frustrate the same For why did Rebeccaes parents deny her to Isaack neither would send her with Abrahams seruant to be married before such time as they had asked her consent yea when as they said We will call the maide and aske her consent do they not plainly shew that both the law of Nature and the Law of God taught them that this consent was of great moment absolute necessity And when the Apostle doth command men and women to marrie in the Lord how can the marriage be in the Lord when one party doth not onely not loue but hate the other And how can such two become one flesh lawfully when as there wants the vnion and coniunction of the heart the true naturall mother of all marriage duties Wherefore this promise must be in this respect at least willing and voluntary For albeit it is not necessary neither yet possible that there should be such great measure of true holy and sanctified loue at that time as afterward for that groweth by little and little according to the blessing of God and the faithfull performance of other duties afterward euen to their liues end yet if it be voluntarie and vnfained it is enough and sufficient to make a true contract in the Lord. So as no man ought to separate those whom God hath thus ioyned Secondly we call it voluntary in respect of constraint and compulsion contrary to a free cōsent For if either party be vrged constrained or compelled by great feare of their parents or others by threatning of losse of preferment of health of limbe of life or of any such other like or by any other violent manner of dealing whatsoeuer to yeeld their promise cleane contrary to the motion or good liking of their hearts this kind of promise as it doth not binde the partie to keepe it so it ought to be frustrated broken by the parents themselues or by such maisters as may and ought to command and rule them in such cases If this were not so how could the parties keepe the commandements of God giuing them direction whom to marrie First that they should marrie onely in the Lord. Againe that they should not be vnequally yoked with infidels neither of which they can keepe if their parents might compell them to Contract and marrie It becometh the parents to perswade their children by all good meanes to yeeld their consent rather then to draw them by wicked sleights and cunning drunkennesse or any other wicked and violent meanes For as that is not to marrie in the Lord so all such forced Contracts may be broken and frustrated by the Magistrate who is Gods Lieutenant to redresse such intollerable enormities among the societies of men For if parents may deny marriage to such as haue onely by force and violence obtained the word and body of their child much more may the magistrate deny marriage where onely a verball promise nath bene gotten by violent compulsion and for these causes and in this sense and meaning alone we conclude that Contracts must be voluntary Fourthly it must be a mutuall promise that is either party must make it to other not the man onely nor the woman onely but both the man and the woman though decency and order require the man to do it first and then the woman because he is her head and she his glory and ought to leade and guide her in all things wherein the Lord hath put a pre heminence For if this promise be not mutually made of them both but of one alone it is no true and perfect Contract and therefore may be broken by parents and such as haue authority herein because the party vnpromising is not bound by word or deed but is free in so much that such a Contract is rather so termed then that it is any true Contract indeed But if it be mutuall then it doth mutually and muiolably bind both so that in this regard neither parent magistrate nor any other can or ought to breake it for this being fully performed and accomplished is one principall cause of making two one flesh in such sort as it is written Therefore a man shall leaue his father and mother and shall be ioyned to his wife and they two shall be one flesh c. Genes 2. 24. Also that the man hath not power ouer his owne body nor the woman ouer hers and so to be short hence ariseth all mutuall beneuolence betweene them And therefore a point of great weight and necessitie in no wise to be omitted in a Contract Fiftly we say it must be betweene one man and one woman where first it is to be noted that it may not nor ought not to be betweene any other creatures but man-kind nay neither among brute beasts nor Angels For God hath not ordained or instituted marriage for them neither can it be betweene man and man or woman and woman If any such Contract be either voluntary or by fraud and deceipt by ignorance or errour it is no Contract at all but a meere wicked profanation of Gods ordinance who gaue onely woman to man not woman to woman nor man to man Likewise it cannot be betweene Angels good or bad and woman because God hath set no such ordinance in the nature of these creatures If therefore there hath bene any such matter or shall be attempted by Sathan with any woman as some stories report it is nothing 〈◊〉 but a meere illusion and diuellish practise to deceiue and draw superstitious into the kingdome of darknesse and to intrap them in the chaines of condemnation against which and all other diabolicall illusions we ought to watch and pray continually Secondly it is to be obserued that betweene one man and one woman and not two men and one woman or two women not betweene two women and one man or moe By which is condemned as meere nullities and prophanations all Contracts whatsoeuer made betweene moe then two For it is written And they twaine shall be
Thirdly that they be vnto their children examples of all godlinesse and vertue Fourthly that they keep them from idlenesse the mother of all mischiefes and bring them vp either in learning or in some good art or occupation whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and truth when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion 1. Touching the first point Parents are to be admonished that they beare in minde that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children is First that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp that they may become Citizens of the Church of God so that whensoeuer they themselues shall die in the Lord they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place But alasse there be few that haue any great care of this dutie It is to be remembred that it is the fathers dutie with all conuenient speed to present the child to baptisme and there to giue the name vnto his child as may appeare by the example Luke 1. 3. Gen. 21. 3. And it were a thing to be wished that all parents when and at such time as God blesseth them with children would giue them such names as are named and commended vnto vs in the holy Scriptures to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion they by hearing those names may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and Christian conuersation of those men and women whose names they beare which the holy Ghost hath commended them for and contrariwise to 〈◊〉 and auoide those faults and vices which are discommended in them And yet we haue to remember that those children which are named and called by and after any of the names of the 〈◊〉 Prophets Apostles or by the name of any other Saint man or woman are not any thing the better because they haue such godly and Christian names vnlesse that they do imitate and follow them in faith vertue and godly behauiour so on the other side they that be not called by such Christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture are not in respect of their names any thing the worse hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloud shedding and leading their liues agreeable to the same For as neither the reuenues nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors 〈◊〉 descend of noble parentage maketh men noble and renowned indeed vnlesse they themselues be godly honest and wise so neither the godly names no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers auaileth the wicked and vngodly children any thing at all vnlesse they repent and become faithfull and godly as they were Let vs here consider that so often as in the race of our life we do heare or do speake of our name it doth put vs in remembrance first of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisine secondly of our promise to God againe And as in times amongst our ancestors Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised as appeateth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names at what time and place they had their names giuen them and would thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God and ioyned in league with him and made partakers of his couenant so likewise after the same manner must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme remember and beare in minde that we are by grace adopted to be the sonnes of God and receiued into his fauour and therefore that we are Gods owne and as it were his goods and riches who beare his name as proper vnto him 2. Secondly they may assure themselues that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer that he in mercy would vouthsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares subtilties and temptations of Sathan which their tender age is subiect vnto We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children but they do not marke and consider that they are iustly punished by God for that they thinke by their own industrie and wit to make them good and vertuous without Gods blessing which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest 3. Thirdly let them consider how noble a thing a child is whom God himself hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe nourished brought forth into the light and indued with body and soule to the end he should as it were in a table represent God hîs first patterne 4. Fourthly let them know that these things are to be dealt with all in order Vnto the body they owe nourishment bringing vp apparell and sometimes correction that they may keepe children in awe Vnto the soule they owe catechising instruction and doctrine and that of two sorts namely of godlinesse and of ciuilitie By the one they shall keepe a good conscience before God by the other they shall obtaine a good report among men For these are the two principall points which parēts ought to be most carefull to plant in this life in their children both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse where he saith Ephes. 1. 4. Ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in instruction and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his Religion so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same that they may as it were suck in godlinesse together with their mothers milke and straight-wayes after their cradle may be nourished with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life To haue godly children no doubt is the greatest treasure that may be For in the children do the parents liue in a manner after their death And if they be well instructed catechised and vertuously brought vp God is honoured by them the Common-wealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them They are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer apt haruest Young branches will bow as a man will haue them but old trees will sooner breake then bow And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence to a strong and a mightie man that can shoot them with courage euen so children godly brought vp are a speciall protection and defence to their parents And as the strong mans quiuer the better it is furnished with chosen shaftes the better defence he hath so likewise the more godly children their parents haue the greater is their ioy and happinesie Yea and further as arrowes are at the commandement
helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may indeed but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children are corrupted abroad when they were before and are still corrupted and spoiled at home Alas if parents to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp is a precious crowne will not informe and reforme their children in the feare of God how can hope sustaine these men that others will performe this duty for them to whom this charge doth farre lesse appertaine Lastly let parents remember that therefore they haue disordered and disobedient children to themselues because they haue bene disobedient children to the Lord and disordered to their parents when they were young whereof because they haue not repented the Lord punisheth their sinnes to others with the like sinne to themselues Wilt thou know thou father how thou maist haue that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed Wilt thou know thou mother how to auoyd that curse to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed Bring thy children within the compasse of the couenant indeuour to make thy sonne the sonne of God and thy daughter by nature the daughter of God by grace and remember that God on his part protested to father Abraham that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise in giuing him a blessed seede and requested also on father Abrahams part that he should walke before him and be vpright Wilt thou then haue the one part of this couenant that is that God should blesse thee in thy seede then remember also that thou walke before the Lord and be vpright Wilt thou haue thy children as the blessed seede of Abraham teach them with Abraham the iudgements of the Lord pray for them with Abraham that they may liue in the light of the Lord be readie to offer them with Abraham that they may be an holy sacrifice vnto the Lord. It is thou ô man ô woman that maist do thy child the greatest good and the greatest harme if thou prayest for them and repentest for thy selfe the Lord will blesse thy care the Pastors paines and the teachers trauell but if thou despisest these duties the Lord will denie thee these blessings and the curse of God will fall vpon the childe at home in thy house abroad in the Church and in the schoole And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will be thy God and blesse thy seede if thou beest faithfull thou mayest bothe hope that thou art of the faithfull if thou hast a blessed seede and feare that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the couenant when thy seede is accursed But had not Iacob wicked children and Dauid vngodly sonnes and doth not daily experience teach vs that wicked men haue godly children Yes for besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall that euery particular child of a faithfull man should be within the Couenant or if of many there be but one blessed the promise is performed yea which more is though the faithfull man haue neuer a good childe yet if vnto a thousand generations there be but one good the Couenant is not broken Noither must we tye the Lord his worke so much to man that a good man may not haue an cuill sonne seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes yet he may visit the sinnes of some of his fore-fathers to the third and fourth generation going before To the second we say that an euill father hauing a good child though the Lord shew not mercy to that particular man therein yet he may remember his promise to some of the fore-fathers in the thousand generations going before and though that euill man haue no cursed child yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generation following Wherefore not speaking of Election or Reprobation which we leaue onely to the Lord to make good or bad we exhort parents to the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God as heires of the couenant or at least be comforted in their owne consciences If their children for some cause vnknowne refuse it yet they may reioyce in this that to the vttermost of their ability they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well and offered them to God And if parents haue cause to be grieued when thus trauelling in good education they cannot see good in their children how much more cause of griese may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labour at all to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord And yet many will be grieued for the one that will not for the other Wherefore if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities let vs vse the duties thereunto let vs if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children carefully auoid the meanes vnto it And surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Symeon to depart in peace leauing our wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord So in death no one thing will be more grieuous vnto a man then the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to be furthered to saluation that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him How as much as he could he hath helped them forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face continuall curses in hell accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules and a cut-throat of their saluation The end of all this briefly is thus much that parents hauing fooles children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe examining themselues and accusing their owne soules before the Lord either for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate or brutish because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and bloud then such as might be like Christ by grace and new birth or that they begat their off-spring as meere naturall or very carnall men or because they either prophanely neglected all good education or monstroufly misliked that in their yong children which they liked in themselues and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts or for that they suffered their children iniuriously to do euill to others which they could not suffer to do to themselues or vntaught them that at home which was taught abroad or in that they do lye in some sinne vnrepented of or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation but still loued the flesh of their children and not their soule Let all parents remember that they are bound by the law of God and nature as concerning this bodily life to make good and honest
16. 20. 21. Psal. 127. 3. See more of this point in the vse and necessity of catechizing The second point Deut. 6. 10. Exed 12. 26. 13. 14. The proper dutie of good parents to their children is to 〈◊〉 them soberly to keepe them vender obedience and to teach them good manners Prou. 23. 13. 19. 18. 19. 15. 17. 22. 15. 13. 24. 1. Sam. 2. 12. 3. 12. 13. 14. 1. Kin. 1. 5. 6. 2. Kin. 2. 23. 24 How children should be brought vp Hold thy children in awe and they shall haue thee in reuerence Prou. 30. 25. and 6. 0 7. Mat. 6. 19. sal 127. 3. lat 12. 33. Reasons Gen. 5. 3. Prou. 18. 21. 1. Sam. 9. 2. c. and. 16. 11. Psal. 78. 70. 71. 1. Kin. 19. 19. Amos 1. 2. Good manners in speech Good manners in gesture 〈◊〉 3. 1. Ioh. 2. 4. Mat. 18. 10. Esay 5. 8. Psal. 37. 35. 30. Psal. 111. 10. Prou. 9. 10. Psal. 19. 7. 8. 119. 105. Prou. 22. 6. Mat. 21. 15. 16. Psal. 82. 2 King 2. 13. 2. Sam. 16. 15. c. 1. King 1. 5. Mat. 5. 8. 1. Thes. 4. 7. Luk. 1.74.75 1. Pet. 5. 8. I am 4. 7. Pro. 18. 10. Psal. 50. 15. Prou. 1. 10. 11 Rom. 12. 2. 1. Ioh 215. Psal. 51. 5. Ephes. 2. 3. Col. 1. 12. 13. 2. Cor. 6. 1. Rom. 13. 12. Esay 14. 12. Zoph 1. 8. Gen. 6. 5. 8. 21. Mat. 15. 19. 2. Sam. 15. all 18. 35. Ill bringing vp is a cause of marring many which are of a good towardnesse and wit Two things which much hinder good education The fewer the children the more diligently to be cared for that they be well brought vp The second cause which 〈◊〉 good education 2. Sam. 18. 33. Gen. 4. 2. 25. Gen. 21. 2. Gen. 30. 24. 1. Sam. 2. 9. 2. Sam. 22. 24. Luke 1. 13. Children profit more by good example in one month then by instruction in a whole yeare Obiection Answer Zuke 3. 29. Youth must thinke on death betimes to the end to liue to well die well Marriage with Papists c. Gen. 23. 24. Gen. 2. 24. How should it marriage 〈◊〉 well whē 〈◊〉 bridegroome 〈◊〉 such a one 〈◊〉 whom he cannot say God speed because she is one of Gods friends 2. Ioh. 10. 1. Cor. 7. 39. But how do they marry in the Lord who marry the Lords enemies Gen. 6. 2. As the Iewes might not marry with the Cananites so Christians may not marry with them which are like Cananites Gen. 24. 3. 28. 1. Mal. 2. 11. Ezr 9. 14. If adulterie may separate marriage shall not idolatr y hinder marriage which is worse then it Parents may not giue their daughters to a man 〈◊〉 Gen. 34. 14. Miserable is that mā which is fettered with a woman that liketh not his religion He feareth not sinne which doth not shun occasions and he is worthy to be snared which leadeth himselfe into temptation so maketh a trap for himselfe Luk. 11. 4. The wife must be meete as God said Gen. 2. 14. But how is she meete if the husband be a Christian and sh e a Papist 1. Cor. 7. 1. Gen. 18. 1. 2. Iud. 14. 1. 2. 3. * It is the parents duty to giue their children that which may helpe them in this life to counsell or to prouide them fit and religious marriages 2. Cor. 12. 14. Gen. 4. 2. 3. 4. Ruth 3. 1. When parents do abuse their authority Parents must not match their children onely for carnall respects When parents do marry their daughters to men of vnderstanding they shall performe a weightie worke Colos. 3. 21. Parents ought to deale sincerely in the choise for their children In prouision of matches for their children parents ought to begin with prayer The third point Examples do much more perswade then words 〈◊〉 must 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 not by 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 As the father beginneth so it is like the son will proceed Gal. 6. 7. Mat. 18. 7. 1. Cor. 15. 33. The last point Gen. 3. 19. Ezech. 16. 49. Prou. 12. 11. 18. 9. 1. Tim. 5. 10. 11. 2. Thes. 3. 10. 11. Idlenesse bringeth much euill Mat. 12. 36. To learne that Science which they be most apt for Obiection Answer Pro. 3. 13. 14. 15. Why some men bring not vp their children to any good perfection in learning Luke 16. 27. Prou. 22. 6. 〈◊〉 of the eldest 〈◊〉 is athing 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chron. 21. 3. Exod. 13. 1. 2. 34. 19. 20. Num. 3. 13. 18. 16. Deut. 21. 18. c. Gen. 35. 22. 1. Chron. 5. 1. a Eph 6. 1. 2. 3. Colos. 3. 20. b Leuit. 19. 3. Num. 12. 14. c Pro. 15. 5. 1. Tim. 5. 4. Mat. 15. 4. 5. 6 Gen. 47. 12. Fathers and mothers are to their children in Gods stead Exod. 20. 12. Deut. 5. 15. By honour is meant all kind of duty which children owe to their parents 〈◊〉 23. 39. Mat. 23. 9. 1. King 2. 19. 1. King 2. 20. Ioh. 849. 〈◊〉 9. 22. The honor due to parents Childrens dutie is from their beginning to their ending to be subiect obedient and helpfull to their parents Mat. 15. 4. 5. 6 Exod. 21. 15. 17. Leuit. 20. 9. Pro. 20. 20. 30. 17. Deut. 〈◊〉 16. What children do to their parents they do to God so that they may not purloine or diminish any of their substāce Pro. 28. 24. Mat. 7. 12. Mat. 7. 2. 1. Sam. 20. 28. c 22. 17. Dan. 3. 18. Act. 4. 19. Mat. 23. 9. When a woman loseth her honestie then hath she lost her chiese treasure Gen. 34. 12. Children may not marry without the cōsent agreement of their 〈◊〉 so that an vnlawfull promise made by the child may lawfully be broken It is a sweete wedding whē the father and the mother bring ablessing to the feast and a heauie vnion which is cursed the firs̄t day that it is knit 1. Sam. 18. 1. Contracts void without the consent of parents Children 〈◊〉 are to pray vnto God to direct their parents in a godly choyce and to 〈◊〉 their minds to accept of the same 〈◊〉 9. 22. 2. Sam. 15. 1. c. 18. 14. Deut 21. 18. 19. 20. 21. Exod. 20. 12. Ephes 6. 2. Deut. 28. 15. c. Leuit. 26. 14. c. Gen. 46 29. c. and 48. 〈◊〉 12. Luke 2. 51. Deut. 5. 16. Exed 20. 12. Ephes. 6. 2. Psal. 115. 17. 18. Esay 38. 19. Ephes. 6. 3. The housholder is called Pater Familias that is a father of a familie because he should haue a fatherly care ouer his seruants as if they were his children Maisters and Dames ought moderatly to vse their authoritie ouer theirseruants Iames 5. 4. Coloss 4. 1. Ioh 13 13. 14. 15. Deut. 24 14. 15 Mat. 8 5. 6. 〈◊〉 7. 2. God made eu ry weeke one day of rest wherein seruants should be as free as their maisters Gen. 2. 2. As the laborer which worketh but one day is worthy his hire euen so much more the 〈◊〉 that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 eueryday Luke 10. 7. As Dauid did limit Ioab that he should not kill Absolon so God hath bound masters that they should not oppresse their seruants 2. Sam. 18. 5. Iob 31. 13. 14. 15. For a good man sauh Salemon Pro. 12. 10. will be mercifull to his beast therefore he ought to be m re mercifull to his seruants being his brethren Reuiling words and vnreasonable 〈◊〉 doth much more hurt to seruants then good 〈◊〉 16. 17. Exod. 20. 10. 〈◊〉 5. 14. 1. Tim. 5. 8. Seruants do rather imitate the works they see their maisters do then the words which they heare them speake Luke 7. 8. Ephes. 6. 9. The couetous wan in gaining riches loseth himselfe Psal. 39. 6. That which thou canst do conueniently thy selfe commit it not to another Masters ought to make good choyce of their seruants Gen. 30 26. 27. c. and 29. 2. 3. 4. 5 6. 23. 23. Esay 6. 6. It is a rare thing for a maister to bring his seruant to be godly who is not godly him selfe Reuel 5. 10. Act. 16. 31. 32 18. 8. 1. Cor. 1. 16. Ge 18. 17. 18. Phil. 11. 16. Gen. 29. Iosua 24. 15. Psal. 101. 7. Act. 10. 2. They must keepe no idle prophane superstitious nor disordered 〈◊〉 in their house Ephcs. 6. 4. Masters ought to haue a tender care of their seruants in their sicknesse Mat. 8. 5. 6. Luk. 7. 1. The wiues behauiour with seruants The maister must correct his seruants and the mistris her maids Eph 6.5.6.7.8 Col. 3.22.23.24 Tit. 2.9.10 1 Pet. 2.18.19.20.21 1. Tim. 6. 1. 2. Luk. 17. 7. 8. 9 1. King 5. 13. The property of a good seruant Gen. 29. 18. 19. 20. 39. 5. c. Gen. 16. 7. 8. 〈◊〉 Phil. 10. c. How far forth seruants ought to obey their maisters Mat. 8 9. And among seruants to helpe and ease of one another necessarie Seruants must to the vttermost of their power seek the commodity benefit of their maisters Mat. 7. 2.
in them vnto God that vpon this day which is but one among seuen his seruice should be so slenderly looked vnto that there is no such diligence vsed towards their seruants that they might performe it And how must it not needes be a great iniurie to their seruants who are naturally and for the most part more negligent and carelesse in Gods seruice by reason of their corruption then they can be in the seruice of men to be depriued of that benefite of their gouernours which is the chiefest and for which cause especially they are committed to their gouernement namely to be furthered by them in the seruice of God but vse them more like beasts then men euen that they might be seruiceable vnto them then care not whether they serue God or the diuell We know that seruants looke to be preferred by their maisters and so there is good reason when they haue serued them faithfully but what kind of reward is this when hauing bestowed some earthly benefite vpon them by hauing no care to make them serue the Lord and sanctifie the Sabbaths they do in the end not onely make them lose the euerlasting reward but preserue them to eternall destruction Moreouer there are a companie of idle Seruing-men who in spending their time all the sixe dayes hauing almost nothing therein to do are seldome looked vnto vpon the seuenth day but permitted to bestow it as vainly as the other and as they neuer almost do any good dayes worke to their maisters so much lesse do they spend any Sabbath in the Lords seruice but they especially are left to go and come at their will Others that haue any office of great charge and attendance as the Cookes Butlers and such like in great houses seldome or neuer come to the Church and that but by peeces either when halfe is done or else they are readie to depart before halfe be ended so both hinder the Lord from that seruice which he should haue by them themselues from that blessing which they should idherit that way and both cause the name of God to be ill spoken of and pull vpon themselues their masters that curse which belongeth to the continuall polluting of the Sabbath And how can they looke that that seruice and that meate and drinke should do them good which is thus prepared and bought as it were with the continuall danger of the soules of their seruants besides the dishouour of the name of God When Dauid had inconsideratly desired to drinke of the water of Bethleem three mightie men brake into the host of the Philistins and drew water and brought it to him but he would not drinke thereof but powred it for an offering vnto the Lord and said Oh Lord be it farre from me that I should do thus is not this the bloud of the men that went in ieopardie of their liues How much lesse then ought men to eate and drinke of that for which their seruants do venter the liues of their soules And besides if we iustly find fault with them who do neuer or seldome preach to the people committed to their charge and so cause their soules to starue and die eternally how can they be blamelesse who seldome or neuer bring their seruants to the preaching of the word And must they not needs be culpable of the same iudgement before God seeing it is all one with the seruants whether they liue in the place where the word of God is not preached at all or if it be yet they come not vnto it But whereas men are ready to obiect that in a great family many must needs be absent We grant it to be true in some part that is at some time vpon some occasion but so ordinarily and so continually as they themselues in their own cōsciences are priuie to who make this question we know no necessitie that can excuse that Nay we are sure that the Lord hath laid no such calling vpon any man that should keepe him in a continuall breach of the Sabbath and therefore both maister and seruant may suspect that he is in such a calling as is not agreeable to Gods word or that he vseth it not aright when it maketh him if not wholy yet for the most part to neglect the seruice of God vpon the Sabbath day And we know where there is great care to serue and please God by prayer the Lord will giue to them such wisedome that they shall be able to redeeme if not the whole yet at least a great part of the day which otherwise will be mis-spent namely by letting passe many needlesse things by preparing so much before as conueniently may be by rising so much the more earlie in the morning and by the interchangeable helpe of our seruants especially when they will for these causes be contented with so much the lesse though not in quantitie for the reliefe of others yet with lesse exquisite and curious dressing which especially taketh vp the time and so we are sure and they that will trie it in the feare of God and with a care to serue him and in a loue to the soules of their brethren shall find it to be true by experience that many might keep holy the Sabbarh which now do it not at all others might keepe it more then they do Which if yet it be thought vnpossible because we go not about to practise it let vs but obserue that which we shall see done in the house when the seruant is very desirous to go to a Faire and the maister is as willing to let him go you would wonder to see how things shall be dispatched vp suddenly and in good order they shal be absent many houres and yet not greatly missed if any thing be otherwise then is vsuall it is horne with because it is a day of prouision for themselues and that day is not euery day So then if the maisters were perswaded of the Lords day as they ought to be euen that it is the time of making prouision for the soule and were as carefull for the soules of their seruants as they are for their bodies and did esteeme it more for their worship credit that their seruants were religious then that they were costly well set out in apparel they would be better contented to spare them during the time of that market where they may buy without money all the graces of Gods Spirit and the riches of the kingdome of heauen whereby they should not onely saue their owne soules but be made more fit to do duties to their maisters of conscience Therefore to end this point it is the duty of all houshold gouernours to cause the whole familie to be in a readinesse to attend vpon them too and fro the Church and that it be not left at euery mans discretion to come when he wil but that they should go together And indeed this hath bene the orderly comming of
the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God as they will answer at the day of iudgement plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues or in their children for which this Contract ought not to be made If they say they know none or if they declare none then the consent of the parents is to be demanded which if they yeeld then the consent of the parties is also to be required And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words or such like 1. N. do willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will and I liue whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meete till such time I take thee for my onely betrothed wife and thereto plight thee my troth In the name of the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost So be it The same is to be done by the woman the name onely changed and all in the presence of parents kinsfolks and friends After this the parents are to be admonished to set and appoint the day of marriage neither too neare nor too farre off but to appoint a competent space of time that it may be sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised marriage might be hindred and yet giue no occasion by reason of the length thereof to prouoke the parties to incontinency In the meane time the parties affianced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of marriage and to behaue themselues wisely chastly louingly and soberly till the day appointed do come And so with a Psalme and prayer to cóclude the holy action Now that there should be a competent space betweene the time of the Contract and the day of marriage it is very necessary for these causes 1. That there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to house-keeping betweene that time and the celebrating of marriage but this is not a chiefe cause 2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts men and betwixt the prophane and his children for they euen as beasts do after a beastlike manner being led by a naturall 〈◊〉 and motion come together but God will haue this difference whereby his children should 〈◊〉 seuered from that brutish manner in that they should haue a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection and enioying one of another and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another 3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie and the duties of marriage For many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same nor thinking of the troubles and afflictions that follow marriage But the Lord would haue these things thought on and a consideration to be had both of the causes of marriage and the duties to be performed and the troubles to be vndergone A good and carefull housholder so ordereth and frameth his houshold as it may manifestly appeare that it is indeed the house of a faithfull Christian and that he himselfe is a Pastor ouer his family that he instructeth it diligently in the feare of God and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continuall exercise of godlinesse So that in his house you shall find the chast wife the shamefaced plaine and modest wife decked without as she is within no painted nor marked thing rendring true obedience to her husband and hauing a carefull eye vpon her family seruants and children the maister father and husband the children and seruants euery one likewise in his degree employing himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office approuing his doings as before God Now like as in the mind there are such vertues as we haue before spoken of so are 〈◊〉 in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions as vngodlinesse despising of Gods word vnbeliefe idolatrie superstition ignorance churlishnesse lying falshood hypocrisie vnrighteousnesse swearing backbiting distemperance drunkennesse gluttony couetousnesse vnchastitie vnshame fastnesse misnourture rashnesse furiousnesse wantonnesse pride presumption vain-glory childing brawling and vnhandsomnesse Who so now chooseth him a wife or the a husband that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices he seeketh not a spouse 〈◊〉 she a husband for a right peaceable good honest and Christian life but an hell a painefulnesse and destruction of all expedient quiet and vertuous liuing but specially there is little good to be hoped for of him or her whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth For like as the feare of God draweth the whole garland of vertues with it so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods word bring all vice and abhominations yea and shutteth vp the way to amendment When these points and rules are duly and warily obserued on either part they may ioyne together and say as Laban and Bethuel said This cometh of the Lord therefore we will not speake against it Oh how happie are those in whom faith loue and godlinesse are married together before they marrie themselues For none of these carnall cloudie and whining marriages can say that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to the bridall and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse do flie from them After the riches of the mind do the riches of the bodie follow next of which sort is a comely beautifull or well-fauoured body health a conuenient age c. A beautifull bodie is such a one as is of right forme and shape meete and of strength to beare children and gouerne an house euen such a one as both the man and woman can find in their hearts vnfainedly to loue aboue all other and to be content withall c. As concerning the beautie or comlinesse of the body where there is else no good property or qualitie beside Salomon saith Prou. 31. 30. Fauour is deceitfull and beautie is vanitie but the woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised And Prou. 11. 22. As a iewell of gold in a swines snout so is a faire woman which lacketh discretion or is of vncomely behauiour and hath not wit nor gouernment to behaue her selfe For beautie is a fraile gift and a slippery and more profitable to those that behold it then to those that haue it The beautifull woman can take no great pleasure in beautie but a little as it were in a glasse and yet incontinently she forgetteth that she beheld and saw and yet it is many times both to her selfe and to them that behold her beautie a prouocation to much euill She that is faire waxeth proud of it and he that doth behold her becometh subiect vnto filthy loue But in the mind which is iudged to be the man consist the true lineaments and properties of fairenesse which entice and prouoke spirituall and heauenly loue being mixt with nothing that is shamefull either to be done or spoken And therefore there is no man so farre without wit that had not rather haue her which
prouision according to their degrees for the reliefe and maintenance of their children and familie And therefore such fathers and mothers as consume and wast away their money and substance vnthriftily by dycing carding gaming or by any other indirect and vnlawfull meanes whereby their children and familie should be maintained do very vnnaturally sin and breake Gods Commandements The Wiseman sheweth parents when is the best time to sow the seed of vertue in their children that it may bring forth the fruite of life and make them alwayes readie to die saying Eccles. 12. 1. Remember now saith he thy Creator in the dayes of thy youth As if he should say Be mindfull and thinke on God in thy youth and do not prolong or deferre it vntill age And so all their life shall runne in a line the middle like the beginning and the end like the middle as the Sunne setteth against the place where it arose One of the principallest duties that belong to parents towards their children is that they be very wary and carefull that their sonnes and daughters do not match in marriage with such as are vngodly wicked and voyde of true religion Which if they do they endanger the faith of their children and so commit a grieuous sinne For proofe whereof let vs consider first what marriage is and how nigh a coniunction the Lord hath made it He made the woman of the mans nature flesh of his flesh and bone of his bones So that we may not imagine that that God which required so neare a coniunction in the outward and inferiour part will suffer the minde and spirit of the husband and wife betweene faith and superstition to be rent asunder Therefore when God said They shall be two in one flesh we may not thinke but that he spake it of the whole and perfect creature made of bodie and soule that they should be of two one or that God did by so holy a Law set free the holiest part requiring onely such agreement in the flesh and bodie and leaue the soule and spirit in dissention For as God gaue vnto both one name as touching their earthly nature signifying their vnitie and called them Adam Genesis 5. 2. so he gaue vnto them a likenesse in name as they were ioyned in marriage to signifie their agreement in minde and spirit and called the one man and the other woman Genesis 2. 22. 23. Yea he gaue vnto marriage this especiall priuiledge For this cause shall a man leaue his father and his mother and shall cleaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh but it could neuer be that any vniting onely of flesh and bloud should haue found a dispensation from the Law that bindeth minde and conscience Honour thy father and thy mother Exod. 20. 12. The holy and faithfull bond of marriage betweene man and wife is commended to vs by that most holy coniunction of Christ with his Church Ephes. 5. 2. Seeing that this is a coniunction both of bodie and soule then such as are Christian parents ought to be carefull that their children may reioyce in it howsoeuer it liketh others to marrie their children yet they ought to see that their children do settle themselues that they may knit their minds in religion where they make their bodies one that so their marriage may be to them as a looking-glasse to view and behold the loue of Christ. S. Paul giueth this generall rule to all that wil marrie that they marrie onely in the Lord and to marrie only in the Lord is not to be led by flesh and bloud with fauour credite honour friendship riches or beautie but rather it is to marrie religiously in the feare of God in the fellowship of the Church of Christ where true Christians liue by one faith professe one religion and serue one God Now let vs a little call to our remembrance what fruit such vnequal mariages haue brought forth from the beginning The sonnes of God saw the daughters of men that they were faire and they tooke them wiues of all that they liked This aduenturous marriage in a strange religion did so infect the world that all flesh had corrupted his wayes For this cause God gaue this plaine and expresse Law vnto the people of Israel as touching all the inhabitants of the land of Canaan Thou shalt not giue thy daughters vnto his sonnes Deut. 7. 2. 3. 4. Exod. 34. 16. Surely they will turne away thy heart 1. Kings 11. 2. Ezra 9. 1. 2. c. and 10. 18. 19. Reade the places We may not here thinke that this inhibition serueth not now 〈◊〉 ys as touching Pagans Turks or Infidels but rather we must assure our seiues in the truth and know that no people in the world are more within the compasse of this law then the Papists and superstitious idolaters The holy Ghost forbiddeth vs to keepe company with Idolaters and such as are of a strange religion and how can he then permit that we should marrie with them He commandeth streightly that we should not draw in one yoke with the vnbeleeuing 2. Cor. 6. 14. which to do is as vnseemely as an Oxe and an Asse to be yoked together to plough Deut. 22. 10. And how can we possibly deuise to violate and breake this commandement more contumeliously then to yoke our selues in marriage with the vnfaithfull We are charged To offer vp our bodies a liuely a holy and a reasonable sacrifice vnto God Rom. 12. 1. But if we shall giue our bodies to Papists we then shall make them one flesh with the Papists and then we may be sure that no corrupt sacrifice can be a sweete smelling sacrifice vnto the Lord our God Here godly parents ought then aduisedly to consider that the strengthening and constant standing in religion of their children is onely of God and from God and not of themselues and therefore although they haue brought vp their children religiously and vertuously and thinke they are so well grounded and setled therein that they cannot be remoued drawne from their sound profession yet they must beware that they do not tempt God and venture their children to walke in that way which so many haue fallen in How can they assure themselues that their children shall abide constant and stand vpright if they shall consent that they may couple themselues in marriage with Papists Sampson was borne by Gods promise consecrated to the Lord from the day of his birth to the day of his death made a Iudge of Israel a deliuerer of Gods Church and a reuenger of his enemies very great and especiall tokens of the grace of God in him that it should be continued yet when he would attempt to marry one of a strange religion he lost his honour and became a laughing-stocke vnto the enemies of God Iudges the fourteenth Chapter and first verse c. and 16. 4. 17. 18. c. Salomon was a
merchandise it carrieth about the more need it hath of a cunning ship-maister So the greater the childe is both by birth and by inheritance so much the more neede is it for him to be brought vp in learning and in good literature For learning knowledge and vnderstanding is profitable both for rich and poore so that as the Grecians say he that is ignorant and vnlearned seeth nothing although he haue eyes The life of such a one is as a tree without fruite a day without Sunne a night without Moone or Starres a house without a man and an head without a bodie It is found by experience which is the best Schoole-maister that vnto what occupation or science soeuer any young man shall be put the more skill and knowledge he hath in the liberall Sciences so much the more sooner shall be learne his occupation and the more ready and handsomer shall he be about the same And besides all this he that hath learning although it be but small shall much better vnderstand the Preachers and take more profit by hearing of them to his great and endlesse comfort then he that hath no learning Experience also teacheth vs this that goods riches beauty glory and health be vnstable and fade perish passe away come and go but learning and vertue neuer stagger alway be constant Therefore of all the charges that parents be at about their children that mony is best bestowed that is laid out vpon learning especially when they are taught to know God aright and how he will be serued It is a lamentable thing to consider how carelesse some parents are of their children when they put them to the schoole in that they make small account and reckoning to what schoole-maister they put their children to learne so they may haue them taught for little or no cost though their children profit little or nothing in learning so that oftentimes they not onely bestow their money in vaine but also they suffer their children to loose their time which is a thing so precious as it cannot be redeemed with any money and so let them spend two or three yeares in learning that which they might by the diligence and orderly teaching of a skilfull schoole-maister learne in lesse then halfe this time if there be any aptnesse and towardnesse in the children Therefore let parents remember that as the goodnesse of the ground is not much profitable for corne vnlesse there be a meete husband-man to till and sow the same so likewise it is not enough to find good towardnesse in your children vnlesse you prouide a meete and fit Schoole-maister to further the same And as Noblemen and Gentlemen are desirous to haue a good and skilfull horse-keeper that can keepe their horses well and they spare not to giue stipends to such euen so much more ought Christian parents to be desirous to haue and maintaine a good Schoolemaister that might bring vp their children in vertue wisedome and good learning And like as if their horle be not well broken or haue any 〈◊〉 qualitie they will be carefull to see it remedied and that he may be made tractable and gentle so likewise godly parents ought to be much more carefull not onely that their children may by instruction be brought to some good order but also to looke that there be no fault in the teacher to whom they commit the care to bring them vp in learning and good manners But alas and with griefe be it spoken many men now a daies albe it they perceiue their children to be toward and apt vnto letters and capable to receiue good learning hauing wealth and riches enough to maintaine them thereat yet will they not suffer them to continue thereat vntill they come to any good perfection some because they themselues do not like of our state religion othersome because they see little preferment and no worldly aduantage to follow learning but great trouble and affliction all which men in this doing declare themselues to be irreligious vngodly and destroyers both of themselues their children and of all Common-wealths and congregations For what publicke wealth Towne Citie or Parish can be well gouerned except the Prince Magistrate or Preacher be learned both in humane and diuine lawes In times past when ignorance and superstition was accounted good deuotion at which time men saw so many spirituall promotions as they then called them vnto rich Bishoprickes Abbies Priories Deaneries Benefices c. then they would let for no cost to haue their children learned in some sort to the end they might get them to be Priests and so to say Masse and the rest of that idolatrous seruice that so they might liue in ease and idlenesse But now that they see how painfull and perillous a charge it is to preach and rightly to diuide Gods word and to deliuer the same freely and faithfully and also how vnthankfull an office and calling it is to gouerne well a congregation they had rather their children should be bound prentises to some trade or else follow any other profession then that they should study Diuinitie When children were nothing apt to good learning and when there was no good learning to be had no nor good teachers yet then well was he that might set his child to Schoole But now when youth was neuer so apt to good learning as it is at this day and learning and all good meanes neuer so plenteously flourishing being restored and reduced into such a facilitie and a compendious briefenesse yea neuer so good learned and skilfull schoole-maisters neuer such plentie of so good and plaine books printed neuer so good cheape the holy Ghost mercifully offering his gifts as it were into the mouthes of all men few there be that will open their mouthes to receiue them their eyes to see the cleare light nor yet their eares to heare so pure manifest and wholesome and heauenly doctrine euen the word of God the meanes of our saluation It is therefore to be feared that for this our great vnthankfulnesse these so manifold heauenly blessings shall be taken from vs and giuen to some other nation that will both be more thankfull for them and also shew forth better fruites of Christianitie then we hitherto haue done Oh therefore that parents would aduisedly consider that the want of this Christian dutie of the good education of their children is the onely cause of great mischiefe and much miserie both vpon children and themselues yea in truth it is from hence that so much sorrow griefe and shame befalleth many times vpon the fathers and mothers And how cometh this to passe that the parents owne dung is cast in their faces by their owne children in mocking and despising of them and whence arise all these inconueniences before named together with all these grieuous plagues and iudgements of God vpon their children to the consuming of their eyes but from this their owne negligence in bringing vp their children For it is
tender yet when they be come to some years of discretion as to fifteene or sixteene which time is most fit for reprehension because then by all reason it should soonest enter and which time againe is most dangerous be cause then our affections are most strong in vs oh then they be growne to mens and womens eftate they may not be reprehended they may not be disgraced But know thou oh wise parent that so long as thou hast a child so long thou art a parent and so long as thou art a father so long thou must carry a fatherly authoritie and power ouer him 5. The fift helpe is chastisement and it may well be called a helpe because where reprehension will not serue that must helpe and this must be vsed in order and method as the skilfull Physition will not giue his strong and bitter pill before his preparatiue lest the working of it should be hindred by the stubburne and indurate obstructions so the wise parent in curing his sonnes vices must not strike before he hath reprehended or preadmonished lest either he be too much caft downe and discouraged or waxe obstinate This kind of physicke as it is more strong then the former so it hath a more forcible and excellent working For great is the godlinesse in that seueritie by which the power of sinning is taken away And againe Salomon in the 22. of the Prouerbes verse 15. saith more worthily Foolishnesse is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall driue it away And againe in the 13. Chapter verse 24. He which spareth the rod hateth his sonne that is he is an enemie vnto him Wherefore know thou this ô thou father that when thou feest thy sonne dangerously sicke with the disease of sinne and doest not vse this helpe or remedie which God in his holy word hath prescribed vnto thee thou art accessarie to thy childs death as an enemie and his bloud shall be required at thy hands because where thou mightest haue saued him thou hast wilfully cast him away For Gods loue good parents looke to your children Oh that parents had lesse carnall affection and more wisedome for euery parent is blind in his owne children Oh is it not a pitifull thing that parents should themselues make graues for their owne children and burie them quicke without all compassion and thinke they do well in it And is it not a follie aboue all follies that while the parent layeth his hand vpon his childs mouth to keepe away the cold winde he presseth it downe so hard that he strangleth him there-with Thus many a father and mother in the world haue killed their deare ones by their inordinate loue and cockering of them and thus many poore infant must still be murthered because parents will not be warned Parents are bound by the law of nature to loue their children for what a crueltie were it not to loue them that they haue begotten and borne But yet wisedome requireth that they some what dissemble and hide their loue specially to those children that be of some reasonable discretion lest they should take boldnesse thereupon to do what they list For if we well consider of mans nature that it is euill euen from his birth we shall then find the young child which ly eth in the cradle to be both way-ward and full of affections and though his bodie be but small yet he hath a great heart and is altogether inclined to euill and the more he waxeth in reason by yeares the more he groweth proud froward wilfull vnrulie and disobedient If this sparkle be suffered to increase it will rage ouer and burne downe the whole house For we are changed and become good not by birth but by education For like as planting and carefulnesse hath great power in all growing things euen so hath education greater vertue and strength yea and better fruit in the diligent bringing vp of their children Therefore parents must be warie and circumspect that they neuer smile or laugh at any words or deeds of their children done lewdly vnhonestly naughtily wantonly or shamefully not to kisse and commend them for so doing For children will commonly accustome themselues vnto such things as they shall see and perceiue to be pleasing and delightfull to their father and mother Therefore they must correct and sharpely reproue their children for saying or doing ill and make it knowne vnto them that they be neither well pleased nor contented with their so doing but that it greatly disliketh them And againe on the other side let them kisse and make much of them whensoeuer they shall see or heare them do any thing that is a signe of goodnesse But such is the fond and too much cockering affection of some parents towards their children that there is more need in these dayes to teach and admonish them not to loue them too much then to perswade them to loue them For Dauids darling was Dauids traytor And this is the manner of God and his iust iudgement that when any father or mother begins as it were to set their child or any thing else in the roome of God and so loue the same aboue him which gaue it either to take away the childe or the thing or else to take away the parents before they prouoke him too much For as the Ape doth with too much embracing well-neare kill her young whelpes so likewise some vndiscreet parents through immoderate loue and ouer-much pampering and cherishing do vtterly spoile and marre their children Therefore if parents would haue their children liue they must take heed that they loue them not too much for the giuer is displeased when the gift is more esteemed then he We may see by experience how that many children of good wit 〈◊〉 towardnesse are marred and spoyled for want of good education and so get those vices from their tender yeares which all their life after do for the most part accompany them For when parents do either too much cocker their children or by their leud example allure to naughtinesse or neglect due instruction what other thing I pray you can come to passe then which we see in trees which from the beginning being neglected become crooked vnfruitful Contrariwise they that are pruned erected ordered and watered with the hand and cunning of the husbandman are made straight fertile and fruitfull So the manner of life education and custome are of great importance to moue to vertue What a great folly is it in parents to toyle themselues and be occupied in getting riches and to be nothing carefull for their children for whose sake riches are gotten Assuredly there can none more precious and better heritage be left vnto children then if they be well and vertuously brought vp from their tender age and be rightly instructed vnto vertue from their infancie This patrimony remaineth with them continually nothing at all subiect to the stormes and troubles of fortune But we
see two speciall causes why some parents do more negligently prouide that their children be instructed to wit too much cockering and niggardship In cockering mothers do more often offend and specially those that haue but few children These do like as if some husband-man should refuse to till his field because he hath but one onely Who could suffer this mans follie and peruersenesse of iudgement Is it not much more to be tilled because it is onely one Yes verily that so the profit and increase of one may recompence the want of many Euen so after the same sort we may iudge it to be the dutie of mothers so much more diligently to bring vp their children by how much they are fewer But we see what doth let mothers that they loue their children more dearely then that they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight but this is cruell loue so to loue their children that they should be as it were giuen ouer of their mothers vnto all naughtinesse of which peruerse and cruell loue not a few shall suffer the iust punishment which with great griefe of mind and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbrideled wantonnesse and vngraciousnesse of their children vnto which they do now all too late go about to prouide a remedie On the other side niggardship is oftentimes greater then that parents will 〈◊〉 the cost Whatsoeuer is spent vpon horse-keepers or horse-breakers fooles minstrels dogs hawkes c that some thinke well bestowed but if they see any thing to be spent about instructing their children they thinke all ill bestowed and are much more carefull that an horse be well framed to vauting leaping then that their child be well instructed to vertue This inconuenience cometh to the minds of children if they be not well brought vp that they become seruile and lie open to all sin and naughtinesse For if a man leaue his field vntilled he shall find it to haue brought forth fearne and thystles and such vnprofitable weeds after the same sort if he shall leaue the wits of his children vnlooked vnto and vnexercised he shall be sure to reape most abundant fruite of wantonnesse and vngraciousnesse The holy Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sonnes as that he that begetteth such a one getteth himselfe sorrow and that the father of a foole hath no ioy Prou. 17. 21. he meaneth it not so much of naturall fooles or idiots and such as are destitute of common reason although it is true that is a lamentable iudgement of God and a heauinesse to the parents of such a child as of wicked children such as either are ignorant in the word or not knowing how to order one right step to the kingdome of God or else hauing some knowledge abuse it to maintaine their carnall lusts and appetite For in this case as it would grieue parents to haue naturall fooles to their children or such as either in some imperfection of nature are dismembred or deformed and misfigured in the parts of their bodie euen so much more should it grieue them to haue such children as either for want of knowledge and heauenly wisedome cannot walke in the feare of God or abusing the knowledge giuen them prostitute and giue themselues to all sinne and wickednesse It is maruellous how greatly parents can bewaile the want of one naturall gift proceeding of some imperfection and how easily they can passe ouer without any griefe the want of all spiriruall graces springing from corrupt education In like manner it is strange that men can take the matter so heauily when their children breake into such offences as either haue open shame or ciuill punishments following them and yet can make no bones but passe ouer such sinnes as are against the maiestie of God accompanied with euerlasting confusion vnspeakable torments Wherein what doth the most part of men bewray but their great hypocrisie in that neither their ioy nor their griefe is sound to their children and that they loue themselues more in their children then either their saluation or the glorie of God the tender loue and care whereof no doubt did increase the sorrow of Dauid for the death of his sonne Absolon who was not so much grieued for the losse of a sonne as for that vntimely end of his sonne to whom the time of repentance for his saluation and the glorie of God was denyed which haply if he had liued his father Dauid might haue reioyced in Let parents therefore learne to correct their affections to their children and be grieued for ignorance impietie and sinnes whereof either their carnall copulation the not lamenting of their naturall corruption the want of prayer and holy seede or prophane education armed with the wrath of God may be a most iust occasion Can parents hope for a holy posteritie or do they maruell if the Lord crosie them in the children of their bodies when they make as bold and brutish an entrance into that holy ordinance of the Lord as is the meeting of the neighing horse with his mate when being ioyued in that honourable estate of matrimonie either as meete naturall men without all knowledge of God they beget their children or as too carnall men without the feare reuerence of the Lord neither bewailing their corruptions which they receiued of their ancestry nor praying against their infirmities which may descend to their posteritie they abuse the marriage bed Lastly when hauing receiued the fruite of the wombe they haue no care by good and vertuous bringing vp to offer it to the Lord that their child by carnall generation may be the child of God by spirituall regeneration Surely no and yet men looking vp to God his prouidence and secret counsell without all bethinking themselues of their corrupt generation from which their children are descended without all looking back into their wicked and godlesse bringing of them vp will fret against their sinnes fume against their children yea often they will correct them and that to serue their owne corruptions not so much grieued for that they haue sinned against God as that they haue offended them Christians therefore must know that when men and women raging with boyling lust meete together as bruite beasts hauing no other respect then to satisfie their owne carnall concupiscence when they make no conscience to sanctifie the marriage bed with prayer when they haue no care to increase the Church of Christ and the number of the elect it is the iust iudgement of God to send them either monsters or naturall fooles or else such as hauing good gifts of the mind and well proportioned bodies are most wicked gracelesse and prophane persons Againe on the contrary we shall find in the word of God that noble and notable men commended vnto vs for rare examples of vertue and godlinesse were children asked and obtained of God by prayer Our first parents Adam and Eue being humbled after the birth of their