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A16813 VVits trenchmour in a conference had betwixt a scholler and an angler. Written by Nich Breton, Gentleman. Breton, Nicholas, 1545?-1626? 1597 (1597) STC 3713; ESTC S104689 30,274 46

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may bee pend by a better spirit let this suffice for the sum of my speech that where the eye of honour did set the rule of gouernment kindnesse was a companion in euery corner of the house now to this little Earths kind of Paradise among many sundry kinde of people came by chaunce a poore Gentleman in the ruine of his fortune by the deuise of a close conueyance of an imagined friend brought in hauing more wit then discretion in the nature of a good foole to giue this Lady cause of laughter who no sooner sounded the substance of his wit but with the deepe eye of her rare iudgement percing into the humble vertue of his spirit pittying his fortune and perceiuing his want made vse of his seruice in a better sence and in the diuine nature of her blessed spirit determined the mean of his aduauncement With her countenaunce she graced him with good words she fauoured him with her bountie shee relieued him and would suffer no man to hurt him for séeing honestie want maintenaunce and vertue oppressed with malice she did not like a helping hand to fill vp a halfe penny purse with a poore reckoning but like herselfe in the absolute power of her honourable spirit shée comforted the afflicted minde reuiued the hart halfe dead and as it were drawne out of the ditch of misery sette the spirite in the warme sunne of Gods blessing Thus did this Princesse entertaine thys poore Gentleman till by the faction of the malicious the delightfull working of the enuious the desart of his owne vnworthinesse finding in the deceiuing of this his bright sun the sinking of his too happy fauour supping vp his sorrowe to himselfe taking leaue for a time to trauaile about a little idle busines in a cold snowy day passing ouer an vnknowne plaine not looking well to his way or beeing ordained to the misery of such mis-fortune fell so déepe downe into a Saw-pitte that hee shall repent the fall while hee liues for neuer since daring to presume but in prayers to thinke on his faire Princesse and liuing in poore Cottages to looke towards that Court-like pallace he hath gone vp downe like a shadowe without substance a purse without money and a body without a spirit For euer since as he hath often told me if he haue come among men it hath beene like a Faire of rude people compared to the sweet company of that house if in the company of women like a meeting of Gossips in respect of the gracious spirits of the sweete creatures of that little paradice and if by chaunce in his weary passage hee hath had any priuate conference with some espetiall bird of the Countrey yet for all the best notes that euer he heard they were all Sparrowes to his Nightingale For according to the dispositions of their minds hee might see the weakenes of their spirits as some would talke of nothing but the new fashion pinning of ruffes starching rebaters the Outlandish tire and the long bodies the fine stuffe and the prettie pinke the Lawne shadow and the cutworke Lace other of the pyed Cow the bay Horse the black Sheepe and the branded Pig another her Malt in the Kill her Oates in the scuttle and her Rye in the sheafe her Cheese in the presse and her Butter in the cherme Now with this galimawfrey of such good matter as filled his eares with more sound then good sence must he satis-fie his sorrowfull hart that when it got him alone by him selfe with calling to minde the excellent matter that in variety of methode he had often heard from the mouth of his Minerua would so fall into a sighing that had not the heauens the better blest it it would surely haue burst asunder For say quoth he that though some few I found of extraordinary good spirits yet among a number of these Countrey daunces I did light on such a Galiard as had a trick aboue Trenchmour and could speake more to the purpose then many of the wiues of the Parish who hauing red many English books could tell pretty tales of idle people yet compare this Christall with my Diamond she would quickly shew her dunnes and among all other things if by the reuenue of a pretty Dairy she could priuily put vp three pence to spend at a blind bridaile if perhaps in a good humour she had a minde to pleasure a poore friend it would come so dropping out of her fingers as though it hoong at her hart blood and then perhaps with such a lesson to it to take heede of vnthriftines with a shrug of the shoulders at the hardnes of the world that it would breake the hart of a good minde to thinke on the misery of such Almes To goe from Hiues that giue the golden honey To shilling Spirits that will tell their money And then calling to mind the golden showres of his Ladies fauours bled inwardly in the hart with such drops of vnseene teares as makes him like Adam out of Paradice hope of no happines till hee come at heauen Or like the Phenix liue in ashes till he may get life by the vertue of his bright Sunne againe and now this is only his worldly comfort that she liueth whom his hart honoureth and his soule prayeth for though his vnworthy eye be abandoned the blessing of his sences admiration Who though he liue in the dungeon of sorrowes darknes will neuer cease prayer to the heauens for his bright Sunnes eternall blessednes and that as her name doth liue onely in the high Meridianis so her soule may be blessed in the highest Caelis Alas poore wretch quoth the Angler why doe your eyes water your chéekes at the shutting vp of this discourse If it be your selfe be not dismaide Princes haue gracious spirits and great powers who at the time of their pleasure will comfort patience in misery and after the woe of a long Winter giue the fruite of a little Spring howsoeuer hope hit on a good Sommer and therefore continue thy constancie in thy prayer to remember the happines of thy harts honour and feare not but vertue will one day haue a glaunce of fauour and therefore if I may aduise thee let not mal-content bréede a madnes to driue thee from thy selfe to a worse companion Serue God and care not for the world for I am perswaded that shee that is made of so many exceedings cannot but at her good time make thée happy in her comfort who though a while shee shut vp the hand of her bounty yet will send thée a little of that Quintescence that will saue thée from a deadly swound howsoeuer sorrow possesse thée And therefore be her bead-man in thy prayers till she make imployment of thy further seruice And now since I see the Sunne growes so low as will scarse giue vs light to our lodging let me at this parting challenge your promise that to morrow you will visite my poore cabine which with all kindnes that I can deuise shall be alwayes with my selfe at your commaund Thus with harty thanks each to other with a few good words of either side taking a kinde leaue the Angler takes vp his hooke away they part from the Riuer side From whence when they were gone in a manner out of sight a certaine odde Diogenes of the world like a forlorne creature on the earth throwne lately out of the fortune of his Mistres fauour getting a Paper-booke vnder his arme and a penne and Inke vnder his girdle in a melancholike humour meaning to trouble the Muses with some dolefull Ballad to the tune of all a greene willow sitting downe on a little mole-hill among a thick growne plot of Ozters vnseene in steede of his intended peece of Poetry writ as fast as he could this discourse that hee heard betwixt this Angler and the Scholler FINIS
since to tell you true I take no great care of their conditions hauing a stomack of that disgestion that was neuer afraide of a raw Oyster I pray you let mee heare your tale of the choosing of theyr King Sir quoth the Angler as I haue heard it I will tell you in the vnknowne deepes of the wonderfull water called the neuer séene Sea when fishes could speake and waues carried newes to the banckes of the earth to mocke the babies of the world it was a noise in the ayre that if there were not a King in the water Frogs would eate vp the fishes where-vpon poore fooles holding an opinion that wonders might come to passe fell to a counsaile among them selues how to choose a King for their comfort For a little time great hold and show was among them in so much that there was a great feare of ciuill warres to grow among them Some would haue the Whale for his greatnes some the Dolphin for his swiftnes other the Sword-fish for his stoutnes but when the Whale was séene vnwildy though hee were great the Dolphin was too nimble to trust to and the Sword-fish too dangerous to dwell by they no sooner saw the Herring come with his million of attendants but his readines to beare them company at all times and at all seruices made them with generall consent to goe of his side so he receaued his tytle But among the slow fishes that sliding low by the water could make no hast to the Court came the Plaise with a pied coate who had no little hope that his cost would purchase him great honour But béeing met by the way by one that either pittied his expence or laught at his folly he was told he might returne home againe as he came for the King was chosen allowed Who quoth the Plaise the Whale no why so He was vnwildy the Dolphin no and wherefore He was too nimble the Sword-fish no for what cause He was too quarrelsome the Codde neither for what fault He gaped so wide his throat was full of flyes who then The Herring Herring quoth the Plaise wrying his mouth so in scorne that he could neuer since set it straite And reason quoth the Scholler when a foole in a pyed coate will be putting for a kingdome he must haue his mouth or his necke or somwhat stand awry euer after But Sir for your tale I thanke you for I haue heard it often but not in this manner But I pray you Sir let me intreate you to tell me a little of the properties and seruices of the fishes especially such Riuer fish as you take pleasure to angle for I will tell you quoth the Angler for Sea-fish I haue not beene acquainted with many but so farre as I can speake I will tell you mine opinion My iudgement is that the Porpuse is like a Swine a great deuourer of Sprats that makes him in taste so like a red Herring and beeing serued at a table he is a good grosse dish for a course stomack Olde Ling without musterd is like a blew coate without a Cognisaunce and a péece of Gréene-fish with Sorrell sawce is no meane seruice in an Alehouse A Whiting is so old a Courtier that he cannot loose the credite of his seruice Fresh Sammon Sturgeon and Conger are no victuals for poore people especially for weake stomacks that must haue wine for their disgestion Oysters are stirring meate especially with the help of an Onion Mussles and Lobstars Crabs and Tortus are dangerous for Agues Smelts are good for women with child and Shrimps are pretty picking meate for idle people after dinner now for Riuer fish which we cheefely call Fresh-fish The Pike is so rauenous that he will destroy a whole pond and eate vp his fellow Pickrell mary the Pearch is so backed that he dare not meddle with his bristles the Carpe féedes most in the night the Eele euer stirs most after a raine and the Tench is the only Surgeon for al the Brooke But for Roches Bleaks Dase and such like they are such little fooles that against euery little shower they will be caught with a Fly For their seruices a Pike in broath a Carpe baked an Eele rosted a Tench sowsed a Swelt fried and a Shrimp new sodden are serued in their best kindes but of all fishes fresh or salt whatsoeuer opinion is held of dainty tastes The Herring is he that passeth Towne and Countrey for a good fellow and thus much for my knowledge in fishing Now for the cause that first led me into the delight of this kinde of angling I will tell you When I found the substantiall angling with the golden hooke was sometime deuilish the Metaphoricall with the conceited hooke was often knauish the fantasticall with the dreaming hooke was foolish I thought it better liuing as I doe not farre hence to walke from my house hether to the water side and angle for a dish for my supper then runne into the Towne I knowe not among whom to gape like a Codshead or so practise with a knaues head that I may feare the deuill in my conscience ere I haue halfe made my market for my dinner In déede sir quoth the Scholler you say well for when I was a Scholler in the Uniuersitie many yeares a goe mee thought solitarines was a sweete life it did so auoide occasions of euill but leauing my study and falling into a little trauaile I haue runne into such a world of varieties that finding all vanities but vertue I had rather walke as I doe somtime to contemplate the hopes of the blessed then to runne vp and downe among the confusions of the wicked Truly sir quoth the Angler I am glad to heare a Scholler make so good a benefite of his study as hauing escaped the snares of the deuill as it seemes you haue that you are so adicted to serue God as I hope you doe but since you haue beene both a Scholler and a trauailer I beseech you let mee be beholding to you for a little both of your learning experience Sir quoth the Scholler to acquaint you a little with my learning you shall vnderstand that after such time as I had passed the Punies forme that I had gone through the rules of my Grammer reade ouer a little Poetry and knew the grounds of Logick I fell to the study of Philosophy where finding Nature such a Mistres and Reason such a Maister that they could not agrée without patience I tooke no little delight to note the deuiding of the quarrell Furthermore I found such secrets by obseruation as I would not haue missed for a mountaine As how I pray you quoth the Angler Mary quoth the Scholler I will tell you touching the quarrell first I will tell you It is in the rules of Philosophy that contraries cannot at one time be in one subiect which we see otherwise doe fall out in a man that warmes his hands and cooles his pottage and