hear Books and Ballads cried of me about the streets though I had not acquainted any with my trouble but only Mr. Watson My Father's Sister my dear Aunt Quiney a gratious good Woman taking notice of my dejected Spirit she way-laid me in my coming home from the Morning Exercise then in our Parish She surprized me with an inquisitive desire to know what I ailed but I not readily informing her she ask'd me if I were not troubled with Temptations I marvelled at the Question and then acquainted her with my Affliction She from her own experience in the like case advised me which for the present was a refreshment to me for before I was not acquainted with any in the like condition with my self Some little time after my dear Father taking notice of me that I was not well but not fully understanding what I ailed sent for a Physician to me Dr. Bathurst who I hope was a good Man but I was much troubled at his coming though I knew my Father sent for him in his great care and love to me The Physician came to me one Morning before I was out of Bed he perceived my Distemper to be most Dejectedness and Melancholly With other talk he discoursed very piously with me I took the freedom to tell him I thought I did not need a Physician and with the expression of my respects desired him to forbear coming to me which the good Man did not take ill but with good counsel left me It pleased the Lord sometimes to refresh me with those Words of the Psalmist Why art thou cast down O my Soul and why art thou disquieted within me Hope thou in God for thou shalt yet praise him who is thy help and health of thy countenance and thy God How sweet is this propriety my God! Lord where thou givest thy Self thou givest All and thou who hast shewed me great and sore troubles wilt revive me again Thou hast brought up my Soul from the brink of Hell Thou wilt keep me alive that I shall not go down to the pit of Destruction I desired to go from home into the Country to some private good Family where I had no acquaintance which when my Father knew he readily granted my request My good Aunt understanding my mind she acquainted Mrs. Watson our Minister's Wife a good Woman with my desire by which means I went to her Father Mr. John Beadle an honest worthy good Man He was Minister of Banston in Essex My dear Father hired a Coaeh and went with me to Mr. Beadle's and with the expression of his tender love said to me That I should not want any thing to doe me good to the one half of his Estate And he was very bountifull in the requital of my receipts in that Family God's goodness to be acknowledged my dear Mother then was very kind to me I lived at Mr. Beadle's half a Year where I had the fatherly Care and Counsel and Prayers of that good Man with the great love of his Wife a very good Woman and very kind to me and the manifestations of the respects and care of their Children and Servants in any thing that might tend to my satisfaction and comfort The Lord requite it to them in spiritual Blessings with the Mercies of this Life In my continuance at Mr. Beadle 's the Lord afforded me with other opportunities and helps much time in reading and secret Prayer which through Grace I strove to improve for spiritual advantage and humbly hope for the sake and merits of Christ remains upon the file of God's Mercy for fuller returns of Grace For half a Year I do not know that I slept if I did it was very little and yet I did not want either sleep or health Blessed be God for his sustaining and supporting Arm. If I desired any thing that was gratefull to my Appetite when it was brought me I durst not make use of it because I thought it to be the satisfaction of a base sensual Appetite I did eat very sparingly which with my much weeping occasioned me some little inconvenience which became habitual When I had been at Banston about four months by God's providence for me Mr. Beadle exchanged one Lord's-Day with Mr. Walker then Chaplain to my Lord of Warwick at Leez the first time I saw my dear Husband When I had been at Banston half a Year my Father writ to me as to my coming home to which I was inclinable though my Father gave me my liberty It was in my thoughts that I was without natural affection Mr. Watson and his Wife being at Mr. Beadle's and returning to London I came home in company with them enjoying more calm of Spirit than when I went from home I bless God My Troubles wearing off more gradually which to my satisfaction I desired if God had seen it good for me might have been more signal in the discovery and manifestation of his favour in my Victory and Conquest of my temptation It is not for me to prescribe or limit the Holy One of Israel If I may take leave to beg and wait on him in whom are all my fresh springs for supply of Grace and Comfort if the Lord will give to me his unworthy Creature in pence and half pence what in bigger summs he sees fit to bestow on others that my dependence may be continually on him I desire to be thankfull Lord if thou wilt not subdue my Enemies at once yet make them tributaries to thy Glory and my spiritual advantage that these Amorites may be hewers of Wood and drawers of Water usefull to me that I may see my own deficiency and thy strength in my weakness For if thy presence goe not with me I shall soon desert thy cause and though I may be assaulted let me not be overcome but seeing the quarrel is thy own Lord undertake for me in this my military life here where there is no cessation of Arms that I may war a good warfare that those my Enemies which now affright me I may see no more for ever So grant Lord Jesus Amen Amen This minds me of that apposite passage in Dan. x. 10 11. and very applicable to her Case vers 9. Daniel was asleep upon his face with his face toward the ground then vers 10 And behold an hand touched me which set me upon my knees and the palms of my hands and then vers 11. he saith to him Stand upright On which place I meet with this Note The Lord doth not at once restore his Servants from their frailties that they by gradual comforts may prize every drop of Mercy beings not quickned all at once when they are mortified but may be admonished by the remainders of fears and frailties to keep their hearts humble and in continual dependence upon God I shall have occasion more than once to touch this dolefull string again 'T is recorded of our Lord that when he was Baptized He was driven of the Spirit into the
as in her lay and holiness that she might see God Her life was the gainfull Trade to sell all to purchase the Pearl of invaluable price and buy that oil which might fill her vessel and feed her trimmed lamp to meet the bridegroom of her Soul Her life was to be so employed that when her Lord came he might say to her Well done good and faithful servant enter thou into thy master's joy In a word her life was to live Holily that she might die Happily like Enoch to walk with God that he might take her to abide in Christ and in her measure to walk as he also walked to promote God's Interest in this World that in the next she might be ever with the Lord. But this is to affirm not to prove and though I comfortably know all this to be most true that 's no Conviction to the incredulous World I must therefore and God assisting shall produce my vouchers to satisfie others and to excite them and assist them to be like her And a brief method occurs to my thoughts to accomplish this also for our whole Life being Epitomized into twenty four Hours distinguished into Light and Darkness Day and Night of which the longest Life is but a repetition or at most into a Week dividing its days betwixt God and our selves what he allows us and what he reserves to himself And at utmost into a Year with what may occur in such a compass comprehending Heat and Cold Summer and Winter and vicissitudes of Seasons which begin and end and begin and end again and circulate over and over till Breath and Time both cease together To describe one Day one Week one Year of her Life who was so constant even steady in her course I mean in kind and substance not in degrees and measures for she grew in Grace went from strength to strength exceeding her self forgetting what was behind were in some sort to describe her Life in Epitome The following Day being parallel to that which went before and the succeeding Week the copy of the precedent only fairer written and the like of Years SECT V. How she spent a Day I Shall therefore first faithfully relate how she spent a Day that is every Day She always rose early and lived with the least sleep I ever knew or heard of any Her long and frequent weeping and sleepless months in the Agonies of her Temptation had made it easie to her to be satisfied with little Rest But after she had ceased from Child-bearing she constantly rose at four a Clock Winter and Summer I say constantly when in Health yea sometimes when under Indisposition When I say constantly I do not deny but sometimes she might be prevailed with to lie till Six or after but then she at other times much oftner rose by Three yea two in the Morning which much more than equalled the account to say every day at Four And yet her Heart was always up before her when she awaked she was still with God darting up Prayers and Praises to him who giveth his Beloved sleep I confess I have oft kindly argued the case with her to dissuade her fearing it would prejudice her Health urging that Mercy was required more than Sacrifice that overdoing was undoing and it might turn to disadvantage then she would reply Good my Dear grant me my liberty 't is the pleasure of my Life when all is still and quiet no disturbance or interruption but a calm Serenity and silent Stilness to enjoy my self and when I have told her she shamed and by her Practice upbraided my Sloth who slept much longer she would answer Thy Constitution will not bear it and thou hast nothing to divert thee but mayest be alone all day in thy Study but my Family-Imployment and Inspection requires my care and attendance and if I lose my Morning and break my measures it renders me uneasie and puts me into an huddle all the Day When she had slightly slipt on her Cloaths she would go softly into the Chamber which she called the Chamber of her choise Mercies and beloved retirement and without calling of a Servant kindle her own Fire having Charcoal or Dry-wood laid ready and so she spent two hours at least with God and then at Six or after would she call her Maids and duly hear one or both read a Chapter then sit and read her self till the Servants had had what was fit for them which she despised not to do to keep all in good order Then would she inspect the ordering her Dairy and put her humble hands to some part of the work then direct prudently and plentifully for our own Table and the Servants and afterwards dress herself decently with small expence of time then read or work with her Needle till Family-Prayer when she would have all day-labourers about the House called in And if any took their work by the great not for day wages whose time was their own not ours she would out of her own allowance or the Box I hope that Phrase is not unintelligible to many Families if it be St. Paul's Expression of laying by as God hath prosper'd them may help them to understand it give them a Penny a day as much as she thought they might have earned in the time of Family Duty that they might not be robbed of their time God hating Robbery for an Offering nor grudge or come unwillingly when called in and the like satisfaction would she make them if she gave them any diversion from the work they took by the Great as our common Phrase is without the least incroachment on their time under pretence of the advantages the Family afforded them At Dinner which was the only set Meal she ordinarily made she would hardly be prevailed with to drink more than one glass of Wine or Sider and never any Ale or strong Beer and eat moderately In the Afternoon if there were any Neighbours sick she would visit them and call on every poor Neighbour nigh going or coming to counsel or encourage them and as the Season of the Year required prepare Medicines for the Family the Poor and Neighbourhood distilled Waters Syrups Oils Ointments Salves c. or distribute them out or apply them to those who needed and for the rest work with her Needle read good Books and order Family concerns but chiefly the Education of her Children of which more fully afterwards About Five she retired to her private Devotions and they finished came to me and brought the Children with her whilst we had them to be seriously exhorted and counselled alone and then to Pray in secret for the happy success of which good Custom I have as much cause to bless God and do it most heartily as for any circumstance of my Life and if any will deride and scorn it I can say with Job Mock on If idle diversions yield them more comfort I envy not their choice much good may it doe them I learnt this Practice by
reading the Life of holy Mr. Robert Bolton more than forty years ago and oh that these Papers might be blest to induce any to follow an Example set to me and them by so famous and so good a Man To conclude and shut up this I will transcribe and allusively apply the words wherewith devout Bishop Hall concludes his Art of Divine Meditation Give me leave to complain with just Sorrow and Shame that if there be any Christian Duty whose omission is notoriously shameful and prejudicial to the Souls of Professors it is this of Meditation This is the end God hath given us our Souls for we mispend them if we use them not thus How lamentable is it that we so imploy them as if our faculty of discourse served for nothing but our Earthly Provision as if our reasonable and Christian Minds were appointed for the slaves and drudges of this Body only to be the Caterers and Cooks of our Appetite The World filleth us yea cloyeth us we find our selves work enough to think What have I got What may I get more What must I lay out What must I leave for Posterity How may I prevent the wrong of my Adversary How may I return it What answers shall I make to such Allegations What entertainment shall I give to such Friends What courses shall I take in such Suits In what Pastime shall I spâ—nd this Day In what the next What advantage shall I reap by this Practice what loss What was said answered replied done followed Goodly thoughts and fit for spiritual Minds Say there were no other World how could we spend our Cares otherwise Unto this only Neglect let me ascribe the commonness of that Laodicean temper of Men or if that be worse of the dead coldness which hath stricken the hearts of many having left them nothing but the Bodies of Men and Visors of Christians to this only they have not Meditated It is not more impossible to live without an Heart than to be devout without Meditation Would God therefore my words could be in this as the wise Man saith the words of the wise are like unto Goads in the sides of every Reader to quicken him up out of this dull and lazy Security to a chearful practice of this Divine Meditation Let him curse me upon his Death-bed if looking back to the bestowing of his former times he acknowledg not these Hours placed the most happily in his whole Life if he then wish not he had worn out more days in so profitable a Work Let me have leave without offence to draw a Parallel and make a short Application of this Passage though 't is hard not to write a Satyr and inlarge on such an occasion What is the reason why the Married state which a Gracious God appointed that Man and Wife might be meet helps to one another not only in Sickness and in Health and the joint concerns of this present life but also yea chiefly to help each other to Heaven by building up each other in their most holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life as St. Peter speaks and training their Children up in the nurture and fear of God as both the Scripture and our Liturgy direct we should What I say is the reason that this holy State so oft falls short of attaining this designed Blessing and rather proves a Cross yea a Curse Is it not from the neglect of the fore intimated Practice and Duty Whence comes uneasiness in mutual Society Discontents Jealousies Brawlings Weariness of one another to name no worse Come they not hence from the neglect of God and each others Souls and Spiritual Good And because Men enterprize and take in hand that honourable State unadvisedly wantonly and lightly to satisfie their carnal Lusts and Appetites as brute Beasts that have no understanding not soberly advisedly and in the Fear of God against which our Liturgy so gravely and Piously gives warning and continue in it as bad or worse than they entred upon it or at most respecting their secular concerns void of any serious Care of promoting God's Glory in the Eternal Salvation of each others Souls If hundreds censure me for this I am content to bear it if but one couple in every Hundred will vouchsafe to imitate our Custom intimated above And if upon performing it with Sincerity and Seriousness themselves repent it or God impute it to them as mispending time let it be charged against me for seducing them from using it better at the Day of Judgment She always allowed her Maids time to Pray alone and would mind them of it till they were accustomed to it But to proceed to the finishing the Day She would then eat a small piece of white Bread with a draught of houshold Beer and because we had long dis-used set Suppers when we were alone she would always herself bring me up some small matter and would not be intreated to send it by a Servant because she would not lose the Pleasure and Satisfaction of expressing her tender and endear'd Affection the kind and thankful remembrance of which is the only cause of my mentioning so small a matter Then for an hour before Family Duty she would Catechize the ignorant Servants and teach them to read which could not for often hiring Servants out of places where there wanted opportunity to teach the poor Children and Catechize them 't is scarce to be believed how Ignorant many came and yet I remember not any who stayed any time with us who could not read competently well and say both a Catechism which I find amongst her Papers with this Title A short and easie Catechism which I used to teach my Children when they were very Young suited to their Capacity And also the Church Catechism which she taught them when they had learnt the former and she used to hire them to their own good giving them Sixpence to accomplish the first Task then a Shilling and so on promising them a Bible when they could use it of which she gave many and always new and good ones of double the Price she might have bought for After Family Prayers when she went up into her Chamber whilst she undrest herself one of her Maids and if one read not so well as the other she that needed most to be perfected read a Chapter after which committing her self to God she went to Bed and after short Ejaculatory Prayers for the Mercies of the Day and Petitions for Protection from the Sins Temptations and Dangers of the Night she betook herself to rest And this is the shortest Epitome of her Life which at the lowest size was a constant revolution of days thus spent with the fewest idle vacant spaces that humane frailty can keep free from not to say none at all SECT VII How she spent a Week THE next abbreviation of her Life is to give an account how she improved a Week for though every Week contained seven so well managed Days
put forth her utmost Ability and Strength in assisting the Sick and Infirm not the meanest Neighbour whom she would not visit and help in such Circumstances administer to them what in her Judgment she thought most proper for them and not only direct how to use what she brought them but stay with them or come again to see the Operation or Success and she confined not this Kindness to the limits of the Parish but would extend it to some distance I will take the freedom to give one Instance because the Reverend Person for and to whom she performed it in thankfull Acknowledgment ever after used both while she lived and since she dyed to call her his Nurse A Neigbouring Minister having a long and dangerous Sickness when upon a Visit made him she took notice that as she feared he wanted Persons of Experience about him having before lost his Wife and his Physicians by reason of distance could not be long or often with him she daily went to him for many days at near two Miles distance and staid with him most part of the Days I affirm not that she watched with him any Night but I am sure she hath done so elsewhere and perfectly remember when and where because it hath slipped my Memory and though she was so modest as not to assume much to herself I have heard her say She thought God made her Instrumental not only to the speedier recovery of his Health but preservation of his Life Another object of her Painfull Charity which I the rather name because our Litany expresly reckons it amongst the objects of our devoutest Prayers was Women Labouring with Child whom she would rise at any hour of the Night to go too and carry with her what might be usefull to them having good Skill and store of Medicines always ready by her for such occasions and there was scarcely ever any difficulty in that case round about but recourse was made to her both for Advice and Medicines and if might be with Convenience for her Presence which was always very acceptable and comfortable to the distressed Women when the distance was such that she could afford it I might write well near as much of her forgiving as her giving Charity for though the objects and occasions of exercising this Grace were not so many and so frequent as those of the other yet what they wanted in number was made up abundantly in Weight and Measure under which pressures and provocations she behaved herself as became the Daughter of him who was Dumb before the Shearers and opened not his Mouth She would not recompence Evil for Evil nor answer reviling with reviling but committed her Cause to him who Judgeth Righteously knowing it was for his sake she was so despitefully used and thought it not strange that seeing the Master of the House was called Beelzebub those of his Houshold should â—e called so too She had well studied our Saviour's Sermon on the Mount and considered that Passage especially for she reckons the Practice of that Lesson amongst the signs of a Regenerate State St. Matth. 5.44 I say to you Love your Enemies Bless them that Curse you Do good to them that hate you Pray for them that despitefully use you and Persecute you that â—e may be the Children of your Father which is in Heaven And to confess her Weakness I am perswaded she thought it as true a sign of a sincere Christian to love an Enemy though a bad Man for the natural Image of God remaining in him as some do to hate a Friend though a good Man for the renewed Image of God which appears in him If her Opinion be an Errour I hope it is on the Right-hand and so may escape being reputed an Heresie But I remember I am writing of Forgiving Charity and I would not give occasion to start such a Question as I once heard started by a Gentleman after a lashing Sermon Preached on a Text of Mercy He said in Droll 'T was a Sermon of Mercy but the question is whether it were a Mercifull Sermon Sed motos praestat componere fluctus Peace and be still unruly Passions What hath added to her Crown oâ— Glory as I am confident her Carriage in such rancounters did should be taken by thâ— better Handle esteemed favours for the Issueâ— rather than injuries for the Design When Beeâ— fight the throwing dust upon them it is said will puiet them She is dead and her Dusâ— shall for ever extinguish all Resentments and let them be buried in an Eternal Amnestry Had she lived or I wrote of her in another Age one thing more might have been added to the List of or brought up the Rear of her Charity that is the temper of her Mind and Carriage towards those who were not altogether of her Size and Dimensions nor cast exactly in her Mould I confess she was one of the old-fashion'd Christians who thought her Heavenly Father's Example an Authentick Warrant for her Imitation of whom whosoever feareth God and working Righteousness is accepted And though Vertues and Vices change their names and grow unmodish and obsolete like Garbs and Words yet old Wine relished best to her Pallate which so many spit out as soon as taste and cry it is vapid or eager Some perhaps may wonder that so wise a Man as St. Paul should not only allow Moderation to be commendable but enjoyn it as a Duty and press it by the Medium of the Day of the Lord drawing near Let you Moderation be known unto all Men the Lord is at hand When now his coming is sixteen hundred Years nearer most Men are as many Miles more distant from Moderation than when he wrote But I must acknowledge how much soever it may lessen her in the Esteem of any that she had a Latitude not in her Conversation for she always walked in the Narrow Way in her Judgment about little indifferent Matters Oh how Diametrically opposite are some in both She observed there were Men of all Complexions and Blacks and Tawnys as well as Whites were Descendants of the first Adam and so she hoped those of different Perswasions might be ingrafted into the Second Adam and therefore thought Job's Words Canonical to this Day Why Persecute we him seeing the Root of the Matter is found in him She did not think all that in a few things dissented from the Communion in which she lived such rank Heathens that if she heard a Man name them without setting a stigmatizing Brand upon them like the bigotted Jews of St. Paul upon the meer naming of the Gentiles Acts 22.22 She should cry out Away with such a Fellow from the Earth for it is not fit that he should Live It is a true and weighty Saying worthy our Remembrance and Imitation That the prime Object of God's Love is his Dear Son and next to that the Image of his Son where-ever he finds it And she wrote after this Copy she loved the Lord
Instrumental yet it was the Lord the Sovereign Lord of her and us who doth all things well Good Madam What you cannot see now you may know hereafter if not in this Life of all in it you shall have clear Manifestations in Heaven that all Dispensations in this World were for the best for you the most I can do is to pity your Ladiship with my poor worthless Prayers in themselves they are so But I would beg of God to uphold you in the Arms of his Mercy that you may not sink under any Tryal and that your Affliction which at present may be grievous may appear not to be the Wound of an Enemy but the Chastisement of a loving Father who deals with you as with his Children in his adopting Love to you in Faithfulness God corrects his People in his distinguishing Love from those which shall never see his Face with comfort Good Madam I know you do desire to be in subjection to the Father of Spirits The Lord will be King let the People be never so impatient God will not grieve nor correct for his own pleasure but for his Childrens profit that they may live God's own Vineyard needs pruning as well as manuring that the Branches thereof may not waste too much of the Life and Spirits and Affections in worldly Satisfactions Good Madam God hath taken away a Branch dear Lady Essex she is not withered but transplanted for his own pleasure and delight that the Fruits of your Love to God may more appear in your willing Resignation of her who was so dear to you not offering unto God that which costs you nought Good Madam You shall sustain no loss God will reimburse and this Breach his Hand hath made he will fill up and repair at his own Charge He will in exchange for a Daughter bestow on you his only Son and build you a House better than Leah and Rachel did Jacob's God will give you a Name better than of Sons and Daughters and make you one of his First-born in Heaven God took it exceeding well that Abraham did not with-hold his beloved Isaac from him and for his ready compliance in what God required of him he had God's Promise That in blessing he would bless him Good Madam God hath more Blessings than one when God proved Abraham he gave him back again his Isaac whom he loved and promised that in him all the Nations of the Earth should be blessed of which Promise Good Madam you do partake with an additional Favour God having ransomed dear Lady Essex out of a troublesome World with a better Sacrifice than that he then provided for Isaac a Ram caught in a Thicket with which Isaac was redeemed unto a transient Life Dear Lady Essex she is redeemed by Jesus Christ unto eternal Life Good Madam What cause of complaint Dear Lady Essex is freed from the many temptations she might have met with in this World Isaac's prolonged Life found it so in his unsetled Condition he met with Affliction in his Posterity with other Troubles of this Life the World is unquiet like the tumbling Ocean dear Lady Essex she hath found a resting Place got off the rough Seas of Sins and Sorrows God hath placed her in the serene Region above God knew what Sail she was able to bear in worldly Prosperity or Adversity he hath taken her from the boisterous Winds that might have disturbed the Coast of her even walking with God God hath steer'd her Course dear Lady Essex she is got safe to Harbour from the windy Storms and Tempests of this World God took Enoch in the midst of his days as they then lived in that Age he walked with God therefore God took him I do humbly hope so did she God bestowed on her a very sweet disposition which I hope God made susceptive of the best impression The best people want their grains of allowance Good Madam Do not drive your Comforters far from you God preserved dear Lady Essex from the great Soul-wasting Sins from all gross Enormities God kept her from ever falling into any scandalous Sins she is gone unspotted out of the World Good Madam better is a good Child dead than a wicked Child living Good Madam I am more than content God hath disposed of all mine I hope through Grace they are safe but I have found much affection much affliction Though Mary had chose the best part assured and confirmed to her by Christ's own Word should never be taken from her yet her Eyes were so filled with tears at the Death of her Lord that she could not see Christ. The two Angels that sate in Christ's Sepulchre could not pacifie her grief nor slue her tears till Christ dried her Eyes with that loving Rebuke Why weepest thou Then she said Raboni and made him Master of her Passion God hath placed all the affections of humane Nature for great advantage if kept in the right Chanel bounded with his Grace that of Grief though for Sin which hath the greatest use of it and needs the highest and fullest Tides God would not have it swell beyond the Bank of his Mercy If God would have his People easie to be entreated himself will not be inexorable or hard to be intreated as good People are prone to think in time of Affliction neither should they be unjust to God and themselves denying the Grace God hath bestowed on them It is best to judge our selves but not unjustly Good Madam Do not misconstrue God in his Dispensations to you Afflictions are oft more for Trial than Correction but how ready is God to receive repenting returning Sinners the Arms of his Mercy are open to embrace them and to cover their Imperfections with his best Robe sent by his Son from the great Wardrobe of Heaven Christ's Righteousness imputed to them and inherent in them adorning of them with the Graces of his Spirit rendring them acceptable to their spiritual Spouse Christ Jesus He is the good Shepherd which laid down his life for his sheep If he send Afflictions they are not to worry but to bring his People nearer to himself If God put his People into the Fornace it is to purifie them not to consume them Good Madam when you are tried that you may come forth as Gold a meet Vessel for God's own use in the fuller Measures of Heaven Though God hath taken from you the Delight of your Eye Dear Lady Essex he will not take away himself but dissipate and scatter your grief with the Light of his Countenance which is better than Life God knows our Frame and will debate in Measure He will not stir up all his Displeasure but will stay his rough Wind in the day of his East-Wind that no Temptation may be above your Strength Good Madam fain would I comfort you but I know your own Thoughts can better suggest to you than I where you may find Grace to help in a time of need God's Promises are supports for the
Papers if desired which I omit at present for fear of swelling this into too great a Bulk though I am sure several of them equal or rather exceed any thing I have now Published of hers MARKS OF A Regenerate Estate I add this because it is concise and will not take up much Room or Time Giving her Children Directions how to examine and try the Estate of their Souls towards God DO you consent to the Law of God that it is true and Righteous Have you perceived your self Sentenced to Death by it being condemned and convinced of your natural undone Condition Have you seen the utter Insufficiency of every Creature either to be in its self your Happiness or the means of curing this your Misery and making you happy again in God Have you been convinced that your Happiness is only in God as the End and in Christ as the way to him and the End also as he is one with the Father and perceivest thou that thou must be brought to God by Christ or Eternally Perish Have you seen hereupon an absolute necessity of your enjoying Christ and the full sufficiency that is in him to do for you whatsoever your Condition requireth by reason of the fullness of his Satisfaction the greatness of his Power and Dignity of his Person and the freeness and Indefiniteness of his Promises Have you discovered the excellency of this Pearl to be worth the selling all to buy it Hath this been joined with some Sensibility as the Conviction of a Man that thirsteth of the worth of Drink and not been only a change in Opinion produced by Reading or Education as a bare notion in the Understanding Is there an abhorring of all Sin though your Flesh do tempt you to it Have both your Sin and Misery been a Burthen to your Soul and if you could not weep yet could you heartily groan under the unsupportable weight of both Have you renounced the hidden and unfruitfull works of Darkness having no fellowship with them but with Courage and Zeal for God reprove them Do you labour to be Holy in all parts of your Conversation watching over your ways at all times and in all Companies Do you make Conscience of the least of God's Commands as well as the greatest avoiding idle Words and vain Jesting abhorring all reproachfull Speeches as well as violent Actions Do you love and esteem and labour for the powerfull Preaching of the Word above all Earthly Treasures Do you Honour and highly account of the truly Godly and delight in the Company of such as sincerely fear God above all others esteeming them the excellent of the Earth Are you carefull of the Sanctification of the Sabbath neither daring to violate that Holy Rest by Labour nor to neglect the Holy Duties belonging to God's Service publick or private Do you not love the World neither the things of the World but heartily desire and love the things that concern a better Life and so do in some measure love the Appearance of Jesus Christ Can you forgive your Enemies are you easily entreated desirous of Peace and to do good to them that despitefully use you Do you set up a daily course of serving God and that with your Family too if you have any and renouncing your own Righteousness trust only to the Merits of Jesus Christ Have you turned all your Idols out of your Heart so that the Creature hath no more the Sovereignty but is now a Servant to God and Jesus Christ Do you accept of Christ as your only Saviour and expect your Justification Recovery and Everlasting Happiness from him alone Do you also take him for your Lord and King and are his Laws the most powerfull Commanders of your Life and Soul Do his Laws prevail against the Commands of the Flesh of Satan and the greatest on Earth that shall countermand And against the greatest Interest of your Credit Profit Pleasure or Life so that your Conscience Soul Body Life is directly subject to Christ alone Hath he the Highest Room in your Heart and Affections so that though you cannot love him as you would yet nothing else is loved so much Have you made an Hearty Covenant with him and delivered up your self accordingly to him to be his for Ever without Reserve Do you take your self for his and not your own is it your utmost Care and watchfull Endeavour that you may be found faithfull in his Covenant and though you fall into Sin you would not renounce your Bargain nor change your Lord nor give up your self to any other Government for all the World And if this be truly your Case you are one of God's Children and People and as sure as God's Promises are true there is an happy and blessed Estate for you only see that you abide in Christ and continue to the End for if any draw back his Soul will have no pleasure in them Then she concludes with the Prayer set down above page 81. For the Right Honourable Isabella Countess of Radnor This was written to her Ladiship as a Consolatory Letter upon the surprizing Death of her dearly-beloved Daughter the Lady Essex Specot Ever Honoured good Madam I Do truly Sympathize with your Ladiship in your great Sorrows under God's afflicting Hand taking from your Ladiship a very dearly Beloved and desirable Child She was very deservedly so and to all acquainted with her she was a very sweet amicable Friend she lived very desired and she hath died lamented She was not affected with distant Pride a Spirit hated of God and all good People Dear Lady Essex She was of a sweet courteous affable disposition very winning in her loving condescention I am sensible of my own loss who had a share of her favour much more of your Ladiship 's to whom she was so near and dear Good Madam would I could help to alleviate your Sorrows I would put to my Shoulder to help bear your burthen which is to fulfill the Law of Christ But it is not in created Beings farther than God will use them Instrumentally But above in the great Creator in Him is all supply of Grace and Comfort God is a present help in the needfull time of trouble an approved Friend that will not fail you in what you go unto him for agreeable to his Will which assuredly is the best Therefore Good Madam retain kind thoughts of God he hath not cast away your Prayers nor rejected the Prayers of Friends for you though God did not see it good dear Lady Essex should stay longer with you in this World he hath done better for her and you God hath granted to a higher end he hath taken her to himself in Heaven from thence Good Madam you would not have her to return into a troublesom World it is fit to acquiesce in God's most wise Dispose He knew what was best for her and you and to keep silence before the Lord because he hath done it whatever second cause he might use as