most minde vnto Leauing that vnto others vvhich shall not please his palate or not agree with his stomake Nor would I haue my guests to thinke that this booke of mine should bee like vnto Heliogabalus his banquet whose boord was furnished with many and sundry sorts of meates yet all of them only seruing for the food sustenance of man whether they vvere Peacocks Chickens Phesants wilde Boare Fish Milke Sallets or Conserues it was one onely kinde of Vyand but like Manna differenced by mens seuerall tasts howbeit those of Manna were as euery man would haue them to rellish as himselfe desired but these other according as the Cooke was willing to season them seeking therein to please the filthy luxurious throat of his Master With varietie nature is adorned this is that that beautifies the Fields to see heere Hils there Vallies in this place Brookes and Riuers in that Fountaines sprinkling and sparkling forth their pearled drops Let not men be so couetously minded as to desire to haue all to themselues I haue seene the bestowing of many Liueries in my life-time and the little Page I haue perceiued was as well contented with his though it vvere not so full of Silke as the tallest man that had twice as much as he in regard of the largenesse of his stature I am resolued to follow that path that shall seeme best vnto me for the more direct bringing of me to the end of my desire and to that place whereunto I intend my iourney And thou my discreet Host who stay'st looking for me since thou doest so well vnderstand and know the miseries that he suffers and indures who like my selfe goes trauelling abroad to see the world doe not looke scornefully vpon me when thou shalt meet with me in thine owne Countrie and though I come to thy Gate like a Rogue poore and pennilesse dis-fauoured by fortune and forsaken of my friends yet doe thou vouchsafe mee a cheerefull countenance and giue me that kinde entertainment which thou owest vnto thine owne worth For my errand is only to thee thee only doe I seeke after and for thy sake haue I vndergone this iourney not for to put thee to any charge nor with purpose to oblige thee to more then thy good will and affection which thou naturally owest vnto him who offers thee his loue Which if I shall receiue from thee I shall rest fully satisfied and remaine besides in requitall of thy good will indebted vnto thee in an infinite number of thankes But if they which take pleasure in hearing me talke if they shall likewise be desirous to see me let them beware that doe not befall them which is wont to happen to those that are ouer-curious who watch and listen to heare what is said of them Which kinde of men doe alwayes Malè audire heare no great good spoken of them For with the finest gold is the bitterest Pill couered And often-times that moueth some to laughter which indeed ought to draw teares from their eyes Besides if any man shall long to know the life that I lead and the place where I liue he shall therein bewray his owne needlesse curiositie and giue me iust cause to suspect the vniustnesse of his intent and the little good loue that he beares me Let him first apply himselfe to consider my state and condition and the great miserie whereunto my disorder brought me Let such another as I am be set before him or let his owne imagination represent it vnto him and then shall he presently be able to goe discoursing with himselfe what passe-time may be made with him who doth passe his time being a Prisoner and laden with Irons with a Renegador or some ruffianly blaspheming officer that looks to the sure chaining of the slaues in the Gallies vnlesse happely he will take pleasure in my miseries and make himselfe merry with them as some doe with the Bull that is brought in the Market-place to be bayted whose Dartes sticking in his sides whose stroakes and wounds glad the beholders though I for my part hold it an inhumane act And if thou shalt twit mee in the teeth and tell me that either I cause nauseousnesse in this my Discourse or that I fell it vnto thee at too deare a rate seeking forsooth to be intreated or that I straine too much courtsie or that I am a little too coy and too nice with you making my selfe more daintie then needeth or that by my indearings and flatteries I should commend it for good vnto thee it would grieue me that thou shouldst haue that conceit of me For albeit it be wellknowne that I alwayes seru'd my Lord Embassadour as a merry companion and to make his Lordship laugh at my pleasant and witty conceits for I could then make him sport when I knew not so much as I doe now and now that I know more I can not doe it For it is a thing that costs a man deare and the times are not still alike But that thou mayst well vnderstand what I say and know what my iests and merriments were then and what now shall be thought necessary in that kinde hearken I beseech you with attention to that which I shall deliuer vnto you in this insuing Chapter CHAP. II. Guzman de Alfarache tels what place he seru'd in in the house of his Lord Embassadour And that Fooles and Iesters are both fit and profitable for Princes falling into a description of their conditions and qualities FRom the great power and little vertue now a-dayes in men it so commeth to passe that faithfull seruants are not so much rewarded for their good seruices and personall paines-taking as for the sweet words flowing from their vaine tongues For the one they thinke to bee due vnto them out of their powerfulnesse and their greatnesse and therefore are not pleased to accept it in good worth or thankefully to esteeme and acknowledge it And for the other they afford them for their wits sake many graces and fauours and because they want it themselues they buy out this default with their money It is great pitie that these men should thinke that Vertue should derogate from Noblenesse and by their ill-conceiued opinion of it will not as a thing abhorred by them vse and exercise the same And for that it is likewise to be purchased and gotten with a great deale of difficultie and by hard and sharpe meanes things that are contrary to their sensualitie and quite repugnant to their power and greatnesse they are neuer without flatterers at their eares and elbowes smoothing vp vice and stroaking their euill actions with a soft and gentle hand This is that milke which they haue sucked thefe those swathing-cloathes wherein they were wrapped They made it their naturall Center by vse and by al use it continueth still with them Hence arise those superfluous and excessiue expences those profuse prodigalities and those vaine magnificencies which are soone payd and quickly told out
iniury to me are forgiuen and remitted an infinit number of sinnes and if he speake ill of me and I speake well of him his euill language cannot hurt me and his bitter tongue shall bring me a blessing Come ye blessed of my Father c. So that by his thoughts words and workes my enemy makes mine to be good and true And what is the cause thinke you of this so great a wonder and whence is the force of this so excellent a vertue I shall tell it you because it is a thing commanded by God because it is his expresse will and commandement so to do And if we are to obserue that of the Princes of this world much better without comparison is it to keep that which is commanded vs by the King of heauen before vvhom are humbled all the hearts both of heauen and earth And that saying of his I command you this is a sweet conserue which is applied to the distasted palate of him that is commanded As if the Physicians should prescribe their sicke Patients to take flowres of Oranges young preserued Wall-nuts buds of Limmons rindes of Pome-Citrons the rootes of wild Borage or Buglosse What shall I say more O my good Lord doe not giue me any such thing for a body that is strong and in health can by no meanes away with it but is rather vnpleasing then otherwise But for the better swallowing of these Pilles and to make the rellish the sweeter they are so well candyed and rolled vp in Sugar that what was hard in it selfe to be taken downe is now become sweet and sauoury vnto vs. The like effect doth this sweet Conserue of Gods Word worke with vs. I commend saith the Text that ye loue your enemies This is a dainty Sauce made for that soure Morsell which before was so vnsauoury to our tastes So that that which goes most against our stomackes and which flesh and blood can hardly indure by reason of its bitternesse being to our concupiscences and fleshly desires no better then very Gall and Worm-wood The Spirit tels vs in the voyce of a good Physician now it is made more pleasant more sauoury and sweeter for you since that Christ our Redeemer hath so commanded it So that if a man should now strike me on the one cheek I would turne the other for it is an honour vnto vs punctually to obserue those orders which are deliuered vnto vs by those that are set in authority ouer vs and not to breake them in the least branch or tittle A Generall doth command one of his Captaines that he make good such a strong place or passage by which the enemy is to passe where if he will himselfe it shall be in his power to ouercome him and to kill him but his Generall tels him Take heed I charge you for it much importeth my Seruice and it is my pleasure so to haue it that when he shall passe by you you offend him not but let him goe quietly along notwithstanding that he should giue you cause to the contrarie and prouoke you all that he can to fight with him Now when this his enemy shall passe thus along by him and shall braue him to his face and reuile him with reprochfull and iniurious termes calling this Captaine Coward and other the like disgracefull names will this Captaine thinke you though thus mightily abused and affronted in the face of the whole Armie offer him hereupon any offence at all or violently set vpon him No certainly But he will rather laugh at him as a Braggadoccio and vaine-boaster and though he could easily haue ouerthrowne him and kill'd him at pleasure yet he doth it not onely because he would keepe that Order which was giuen vnto him And if he should haue broken it he had done very ill and contrary to his duty and therefore had well deserued to be punished for it What reason then is it that we should not diligently obserue the orders and ordinances giuen vs by God Why should we goe about to breake them or seeke euen in the least kinde of manner to contradict them If a Captaine for his pay onely and vpon hope of some better preferment which is a hazzard whether he shall euer attaine there-unto or no shall bee so punctuall why should not we be as obseruant since we shall gaine thereby a celestiall reward which is reserued for vs Especially since that hee that made the Law had the first handsell of it himselfe and submitted himselfe thereunto by suffering and receiuing from that vnhallowed and sacrilegious hand of an vnder-officer a great buffet on that most sacred face of his without returning him so much as an euill word or any angry looke If God himselfe could be content to indure such rough vsage and pocket it vp with so much patience Why should this same Nada del hombre this same nothing of man this res nihili why I say should he be puffed vp with pride transported with passion and stand vpon his puntos and termes of honour And why for to receiue satisfaction of a poore silly word shot out vn-awares or aduisedly or howsoeuer complaining of the infinitenesse of the wrong breaking forth into rage should one Christian challenge the field of another seeking amongst Infidels as if he were one of them himselfe a place where to fight it out or to speake more truely to thrust themselues wilfully into the hands of the Diuell their mortall enemy flying from those of their Creator Of whom we may learne that when he was to leaue this world and was to seale his last Will and Testament he suffered himselfe to bee nayled to the Crosse his body to be bored his flesh to be torne being full of paine and gored all in bloud from the sole of his foot euen to the crowne of his head whose haire did cleaue to his most precious bloud being congealed and clodded together in hard-plotted Knots and matted as it were with the cruell wounds occasioned by that his sharpe thorny crowne which they scornefully crowned him withall And when he was to take his leaue of his Mother and that his beloued Disciple amongst other his last words that he vttered as it were by way of his last request and charge vnto them and in that his violent and extreme agony which was then plucking vp his soule by the rootes from his diuine body he prayed vnto his eternall Father that hee would pardon those that had thus persecuted him and put him to this so shamefull and painfull a death This mildnesse of our Sauiour was imitated by Saint Christopher who when he had a sound boxe on the eare giuen him calling that to mind which his Master had before receiued told him that strooke him If I were not a Christian I would be reuenged on thee So that reuenge then is a member put apart from the children of the Church our Mother The like blowe was giuen to Saint
men giue me or giue me not But doe thou giue me that which I aske thee if thou hast wherewithall and art able to doe it And if not for Gods sake which commands thee to doe it yet out of that naturall affection which thou owest vnto me And doe not flatter thy selfe or so much as offer to thinke that the wealth vvhich thou inioyest and the riches that God hath giuen thee is That thou art better Wooll then we but that thou art better carded And he that made thee thus fine and me thus course by giuing to thee and taking from mee may change hands and may bestowe his blessings vpon vvhom he please and on such as hee shall thinke worthy thereof and shall doe more good vvith it then thou doest Be not a pryer into the poore nor too strict an examinant demurre not vvhat thou shalt doe for him stand not a hinching and a crinching with him for if thou looke well into thy selfe thou wilt finde Couetousnesse to be the cause of all this and that they are but meere excuses because thou would'st not giue him any thing and so shift him off from thee I know it is so and therefore let me perswade thee for thine owne good to inlarge thy minde and that will make thee to inlarge thine Almes And for this end as also that thou maist see the good effect of Almes heare that which Sofronius rrecounteth cited by Canisius a very learned man A Widow-woman hauing one onely Daughter being a very faire and beautifull Damzell Zenon the Emperour fell mightily in loue with her and was exceedingly inamoured of her and by force quite against her will and vtterly with her dislike he deflowred her and with a strong and tyrannous hand kept her and enioyed her The Mother of this Maiden finding her selfe much afflicted for this her so much wronged and abused Daughter bearing great deuotion to a particuler Image of our Lady as often as she presented her selfe there before it she would still recommend this her cause vnto her saying O blessed Mary O sweet Virgin I heere vpon my knees begge reuenge and punishment for this force and affront which that Tyrant Zenon the Emperour hath and doth still offer vs. It is said that she heard a voice which spake thus vnto her Thou hadst beene long agoe e're this reuenged on him if the Almes-deeds of the Emperour had not bound our hands Loose thou thy hands that are too fast bound stretch them out to tâ—… poore and helpe them therewith as well as thou canst out of the misery vvherein they lye For it is thy duty so to doe it is required at thy hands and it much more concerneth thee to giue an Almes then the other to receiue it God did not so much make the rich man for the poore as the poore man for the rich Not so much for his as for thy good And therefore doe not thou stand off and intertaine thy selfe with saying One man merits more then another This deserues some-what and this not There is but one God and they aske of thee in his name to him thou doest giue it All is one thou art to make no difference Thou canst not vnderstand how much another mans necessitie doth wring him nor is it possible that thou shouldst come to knowe it It is the outward man onely that thou canst iudge of And thou thinking that such a man is sound and in health it is not fit as thou supposest that thou shouldest giue him an Almes Doe not seeke starting holes to hide away thy Deuotion seeke not excuses to put away the poore from thee leaue that to their Lord and Master thou hast no Commission to examine them it is not giuen thee in charge There are other Iudges to whom this scrutinie belongeth And if looking vpon me thou wilt let thy iudgement slip and say that God hath been too slacke and negligent in punishing of me Consider that the selfe-same God hath done the like by others Do not O thou man of euill bowels thou vnmercifull-minded man doe not thou I say lye in waite to doe mischiefe The Ambush is discouered and I see thy meaning I say then that Charity and distribution of Almes hath it's method and order as in other things Nor doe I say that thou shouldest not order thy Charitie but I say that thou shouldest exercise thy Charitie That thou shouldst giue freely and not pinchingly That thou shouldst not make such a deale of scrupulositie with thy selfe whether he should haue an Almes or not haue an Almes whether hee haue need or not need Troubling thy selfe with this and with that and I know not what If thou wilt giue it him giue it him quickly if thou canst not say thou canst not and ther 's an end Yet let me tell thee by the way if a poore man begge of thee then euen then dost thou owe him an Almes and it costs him deare too as I told thee before And let me farther tell thee That thy Office is onely to giue Let the Rulers and Magistrates the Bishops and their Vicars open that doore to looke into it is their eyes that must see who is poore and who not and accordingly appoint the punishment This is for men of Office this for men of authority yet it is a crosse vnto them yet is it a trouble vnto them Nor were they made Gouernours or Heads ouer others for to eate the best morsels or to feede on the daintiest dishes but to take more paines and cares then other men Not to laugh and make themselues merry with their Fooles and Iesters but to lament and bewayle the wretched estate of the poore Not for to sleepe and snort but to watch and sigh hauing continually like vnto the Dragon the eye-sight of the Spirit cleere So that it onely appertaines vnto thee to giue an Almes And doe not thinke that thou doest then performe that dutey when thou giuest that thou canst not vvell tell what to doe withall and hast kept it so long in some corner a moulding that it is fitter to be throwne out vpon the dunghill then any thing else And as if the poore were that dunghill thou giu'st him thy mouldy and thy stinking meate not so much out of Charitie or any deuotion thou hast to giue it to the poore as because thou canst not eate it thy selfe and wouldst haue thy house faine rid of it But this I tell thee is the sacrifice of Cain That which thou wilt offer must be of the best things that thou hast as did that good and iust man Abel with a desire and will that it were much better wishing it may doe him much good Not as though thou didst giue by constraint and compulsion nor yet for ostentation hauing like the Pharisee the trumpet to go before thee to sound foorth thy praise but only out of meere charitie that thou maist reape thereby that fruit that is promised thee
to gnaw vpon Shall I roste one of my rafters That will be burnt away vpon the spit I found that a naked house without something to maintaine it could not afford me any kinde of remedie I could thinke vpon no better thing then to betake my selfe to sacred Orders and to become a Church man Saying to my selfe I haue humane learning I will make benefit of that by hearing those Lectures read in Alcala de Henares I haue some little smackering also in the Liberall Arts and Diuinitie and when I haue studyed these a-while I will take my Degree then shall I be qualified for the Pulpit and being able to say Masse and to preach a Sermon I shall be sure to haue wherewithall to eat and if all should fayle I would turne Fryar at the last whereby I should not onely liue vpon certainties but should also lead a very safe and secure life For a Dominus vobiscum did neuer yet dye of hunger By this course I shall not only repayre my life but I shall free it likewise from any danger whatsoeuer which I might haue incurred by my former misdemeanors The time for the payment of my debts drawes on a-pace and my wealth goes away as fast if by this meanes I did not prouide for the storme that was now a comming I might afterwards see my selfe oppressed and in great perill to be vtterly lost I knew that this came not from my heart for I was not ignorant of mine owne euill inclination but he that hath no other meanes and is put to his shifts must doe as he may He that cannot make choyse of his game must flie at that which comes next in his way Now that I am imbarked I must play the cunning Mariner and seeing I cannot sayle with a fore-winde I must fetch boords and come about with a side-winde Any one will serue my turne so it be not such a contrary winde as shall chop me into the mouthes of my hungry Creditors This is the key that must make all sure and keepe them out from comming within me The money that I shall make of this house will serue well enough to maintaine me as a scholler which being well husbanded though I should spend yearely a hundred Ducats or a hundred and fiftie which will be the most and is a good liberall allowance I shall haue store of money for that time that I shall need to continue there so that I may liue like a Duke if I list my selfe and yet haue wherewithall to buy me bookes and to take some honourable Degree I will make choyse of a good Chamber-fellow a student of mine owne profession that we may follow our studies close together heare the Lectures compare our Notes communicate our doubts that so by ioyning our forces together and ayding one another we should be able to quit our selues like braue fellowes when we came to breake a lance in those lists In this manner had I made vp my recknings with my selfe this was my consultation and this was I fully resolued to put in execution But how ill a consultation and how worse a resolution that I should determine to studie Diuinitie more for the nourishing of this my body then for the feeding of others soules How a Gods name should it enter into my imagination to be a Masse-Officiall and not a Masse-priest Or that I should once thinke of becomming a Religious man hauing such a scandalous spirit Accursed I and accursed he who is so vnhappy as not primarily to propose vnto him-selfe the seruice and glory of God And most vnfortunate are they of all others who treat of their owne profit of their preferments of their honours and of the maintayning of their backe and belly by this so worthy and diuine a Calling and that doe not solely and wholly take the Ministerie vpon them for no other end but to be Gods Messengers and to doe him seruice in his Church and that shall not worthily performe that holy function and that shall not desire learning for any other end then to be a light vnto himselfe and vnto others Traytor as I was why did I treat like another Iudas of the selling of my Master And I speake it to all as well as to my selfe that he shall be taken for no other then a Traytor that shall treat of being a Priest or a Fryar hauing no other ayme but to feed his belly cloath his backe and spend lauishly And that father is a Traytor whosoeuer he be that shall enforce his sonne contrary to his owne inclination and liking to take the Ministerie vpon him because his Grand-father his Vnckle his kinsman or his friend hath left him such a Patronage or such an Advouson if his sonne shall in such a time take holy Orders When a father casts about with him-selfe to make his sonne a Fryar or one or more of his daughters Nunnes either because hee hath not store of wealth to leaue them or that he may leaue his other children the richer or for any other worldly causes which cannot be but vaine and idle let him weigh and consider well with him-selfe what hee doth in so doing For it is a great wonder if one of a hundred proue good I say nothing of the Nunnes the most part of them roming and rambling through the world like a companie of vagabonds and Apostata's dishonouring their religion disgracing their habit putting their liues in perill and sending their soules to Hell It is God that must call vs to this holy Calling For it is hee that anoynted Dauid hee that made choyse of the Priests and the Prophets The religious man must be religious meerely for Religions sake for the very loue that hee beareth vnto it This must be the principall end this the substance and all the rest but matter of dependance For it is fit and iust that he that serues at the Altar should liue by the Altar and it were inhumanitie when thy Oxe hath plowed thy ground and laboured hard to tye him to his stall and giue him no meat Let euery one open his eyes and looke well about him before he resolue as I did Let him weigh well with him-selfe what charge he takes vpon him and what a deale of danger hee runnes Let him first aske of him-selfe what moues him to take that estate vpon him For by walking in the darke the eye that sees not must make the feet to stumble The marke whereat a good Priest and an honest religious soule should shoot at must be brighter purer and clearer then the Sunne Let not Parents thinke that for to fill their sonnes bellies they must needs make them Church-men nor let them thinke when they haue a lame weake sickly vnprofitable crumptback't or ill-featur'd sonne to offer him vpon Gods Altar or to make him a Priest For God will haue the best and those that are without blemish for his sacrifice being that hee offered vp the best
much delight A louing Master what manner of man he it Seneca's saying touching deceit The nature of deceit It is better to bee deceiued then to deceiue Necessitie makes men bold Birds and Beasts secke to deceiue The tale of an Asse that sought to deceiue All vse deceit An Impresse of the Snake and the Spider The qualities of a cunning theefe Sayauedra a notable theefe Sayauedra visits Guzman only that he might rob him of that he had a The Spanish phrase is A que quieres boca That is Darle todo lo que quiere y quanto pidierè Couarr Verbe Boca Sayauedras croft inccozening Guzman Sayauedra rides Post to Syena and finely robs Guzman of his Tâ—…kes Sayauedra and his companions Post away to Florence where they diuide the Spoâ—…e a Dexalas penen is some phrase tending to that purpose as I turne it or some catch of a Song I would be glad to bee better informed Ill company hurtfull a Preguntar por Entunes en Portugal Where there is no such thing to bee found Guzmaâ—… is sorrie that hee cannot see Sayauedra before his departure Prâ—…erb The Embassadours kinde vsage of Guzman at his departure How a seruant should behaue himselfe to bee belou'd of his fellowes Much mischiefe in an euill womans tongue Proucrb a Dâ—…rsela 〈◊〉 beuer 1. dor dis gusto y dar vn mal trago Nadie diga desta agua no beuerâ—… Couarru Verbe Beuer. Aduersities stoutly to be withstood The ioy of the heart cannot but expresse it selfe in our lookes What the effects of sorrow are likened vnto The condition of wicked people Guzman telleth a tale of a stout Iudge as a soobsh Attourney Theeues knew not what shame u. To carry a Felon through a Citie riding on an Asse and to whip him and banish him the Towne is no fit punishment for him but rather an incouragement to returne to his former roguery Wherefore banishment was first inuented The first inuenter of banishment banished himselfe Demosthenes banished to his great griefe Demosthenes cherished by his enemies Demosâ—…henes his answer to his friends Themistocles banished and his saying Cicero banished Publius Rutilius banished He is recalled but will not come home Scipio banished Camillus banished Licurgus banished bâ—…aten out with stones and his eye shooken out Solon and Thrasibulus banished A iust punishment inflicted on a little young thiefe Phocion and his pouertie Dionyfius the Tyrant Phocions censure of Dionysius Friends are the greatest treasure How friend are often got and kept He that hath friends hath all things Friends better 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or â—…thers True friends what they are like How to make choise of our friends Bookes true friends One only friend And what that friend is A commendation of the Earth and iâ—… faithfull loue and true friendship The greatest miserie that can befall man in this life A feigned friend compared to an Ecle a Es trâ—…ste huâ—…ped el de por fuerça Prouerbe Prouerbe b Facil cosa es el ver y mas lo es el hablar pero muy dificultoso es proveer No conocen todos los que miran mâ—…los que hablan hazen Manymake reckning of their friend no longer then they haue need of him And when he can serue his turne no longer he turnes him off Guzman leaues Siena and goes to Florence Guzman meets with Sayavedra Curtesies are to be returned with aduantage Sayavedra asks Guzman forgiuenesse Guzman entertaines Sayavedra for his seruant Better to haue a â—…naue then a foâ—…c to ones seruant Prouerbe c Tract la barba 〈◊〉 el hombro Vivâ—… recatado v con reâ—…e o como hazen los que â—…enen euenugos que van bolviendo el rostro à vn lado y a o ro de onde naçio el reâ—…n Couarr verb. Barba Sayavedra discourses of Fâ—…orence Leo 3. Pope Câ—…olus Magnus Emperor Clemâ—… 7. Pope Charles 5. Emperor Alessandro de Medici Cosimo great Duke of Tuscanie Francesco 2. Duke of Florence Ferdinando 3. â—…eat Duke The beauty of Florence b Zimborio es el hucco del chapitel c A high Arche or round vault of any high Church or sleeple The Cupuls of Florence what a curious peece of building it is d Diameâ—…o of the Greeke word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Linea diemtiens seu per medium secane recta in longitudine ducta It is a Geometricall terme The Annoncits of Florence wonderfull worth the seeing Guzman scoffes at the rogues and beggars in Florence Guzman spies one of his old acquaintance amongst the beggars in Florence Prouerbe Why beggars cannot giue ouer their lewd course of life A notable tale of a roguish wench e No ay hierrâ—… tan malâ—… que no puede dorarse Todo lo cubre y tapa el oro Prouerbe The Statua of Cosimo 1. great Duke of Tuscanie S. Iohn Baptists Church in Florence The Churches and câ—…nts in Florence The Dukes Palace The circuit of Florence Florence a friend to strangers The good gouernment in Florâ—…e Enuie and Flatterie two great Courtiers Guzman sells his horse and breaks his fast with his old shooes Guzman loth to leaue Florence Prouerbe The sports and pastimes that are vsed in Florence Prouerbe f Sino beuo en la taberna huelgome en ella Deue ser entretenimiento ver en la tabeâ—…na vnas mona tristes y ocras alegres ver cantar vnos y llorar ocros y todos con muy poca firmeza en los pies y gran modorra en la cabeça Covarr verb. Taberna The Authors protestation Guzman begins to consider with himselfe g Apretado se halla vn coraçon quando nolo està la bolsa Money cheeres â—…ns heart Prouerbe He that is vsed to command will hardly be brought to obey Want and honesty can hardly stand together A good discourse of Guzmans Youth what a kind of thing it is Instruction necessary for youth This same but or Si non is the cause of much harme If we will be saued our good intentions must be seconded by good actions Enuy and flattery hurtfull to a Commonwealth Prouerbe Sayavedras counsell to Guzman for the recouery of his stolâ—…e goods Guzman minds to leaue Florence and to goe to Bologna Guzman and Sayavedra being come to Bologna are puzled not well knowing what course to take f Guzman finds Alexandro with his cloathes on his backe that he had stolne from him g An ill custome that is too much vsed in many great Cities in the world Especially in Madrid where to preuent this Church-courting the men are to goe in and out at one doore and the women at another Prouerbe h The Spanish phrase is Hablaua por la mano That is he talkt with his band Now to talke with the band is an ancient fashion of speaking by forming letters and by putting your fingers in diuers and sundry postures whereby a man makes his mind knowne Couarâ—… Verb Mano Guzman in a great rage and why Prouerbe i Mas facil cobrar que pagar Prouerbe k The
which would be hard to do as long as Ambrosio was there Let vs Sir sayd he make some triall by sundring them some few dayes one from another and then we shall see what effect it will bring foorth Don Luys did no whit mislike his sonnes councell and presently picking a quarrell where no cause was for of great men we must not aske the reason of things and a Captaine with his souldiers will bee bold now and then to make fifteene of two â—…ights he dismissed him of his seruice commanding him that he should not so much as once dare to passe by the doore And hee tooke him so on the sudden that he could not take his leaue of Daraxa And so obaying his Master faining lesse sorrow then what he felt he remoued his body from thence for that pledge he could carry whither he listed but for his soule that abode still with her in whose power it had formerly so long remained THE ARGVMENT Continuing the Story of the loue of Ozmin and Daraxa are recounted the troubles and griefes that befell them both as also those publike Feasts that were made by diuers Knights and Gentlemen for to glad and cheare vp the dis-consolate Daraxa and of the valour which Ozmin in disguise and vnknowe did performe in them DAraxa seeing so sudden a change began to suspect that his former sorrow had its birth from that new successe and now by the sequele assured her selfe it was so whereupon adding one euill to another sorrow to sorrow and griefe to griefe wanting the sight of her espoused Lord albeit the poore Lady did dissemble it all that shee could yet this was that which did most trouble her Giue them leaue to weepe howle sigh cry and talke that find themselues afflicted for albeit they doe not there-with take away the burthen of that paine which they indure yet it doth lessen sorrow and makes the load somewhat lighter She was so depriued of all content so heauily sad and so bodily afflicted that you might read her griefes not onely in her face and countenance but throughout all the course of her carriage Our inamoured Moore would not change his estate and condition of life for as he went clad before the same stile he still continued and in the habit of a day-Labourer he followed his painefull fortune therein hee had had good successe and he hoped the like with aduantage He daily followed his worke hard where there was ought to be got going in this sort from place to place to proue his fortune trying if by this meanes he could come to heare or hearken out any thing that might import him or serue his turne concerning Daraxa for no other end or interest in the world had he but this to labour so hard as he did for he had liberally to spend with a large hand for many dayes together out of the meanes that he had brought from home in money and in Iewels But as well for that vvhich hath beene sayd as also because hee vvas well knowne in that habit that he might haue the freer licence wheresoeuer he came and himselfe remaine safe in his person vnder this disguise lest his designes might otherwise be ouerthrowne he continued his wonted weare Those young Canallero's that serued Daraxa knowing the fauour that she bare to Ozmin and that he was now no longer seruant in Don Luys his house euery one did couet him for himselfe and his owne ends and happy vvas he that could make the first purchase so generall was their desire to haue him theirs But Don Alonso de Cuniga got the start of all the rest being a Gentleman of that City one that was borne to a great estate young gallant and rich and one that was confident that others want and his wealth by the helpe of Ambrosio should carry the businesse He commanded him to be sent for intertained him in his seruice did him many knowne good turnes made him more aduantageous proffers gaue him many kind and louing words and in conclusion a kind of friendship was begun betweene them if any such thing may be found betweene master and man notwithstanding inasmuch as man is compatible it is commonly called by the â—…ame of Priuancie or Inwardnesse vvhereinto men grow by some deseruing seruice vvith whom hauing runne ouer some passages he came in the end to discouer his desire vnto him promising him great rewards all which was â—…ut an opening vnto him of his old wounds and a ripping vp of his sores to make them greater then before if he were ielous before of one now he had two Corriuals and vvithin a short time after he knew of many which his Master had discouered vnto him and which way they marched and the meanes whereby they thought to preuaile but for his owne part he neither sought nor desired any furtherance of others saue onely his good intelligence beleeuing as he verily perswaded himselfe that solely his intercession should bee sufficient to effect it I am not able to imagine much lesse to expresse the griefe vvhich hee conceiued seeing himselfe now the second time to be made a Bawd to his owne wife and how fitting notwithstanding it was for him to past thorow all these pikes with a discreet kind of dissimulation He intertained him with good words for feare lest it might happen vnto him as it did with Don Rodrigo and if he should carry himselfe violently and inconsideratly with the rest with whom he had to deale with he should finde his hands too full and giue himselfe a great deale of trouble and in the end lose all and not come to the knowledge of any thing concerning his bestbeloued And if we will peaceably inioy the end of our desires we must put on Patience and sufferance in the atchieuement of them He bore him fayrely in hand albeit his heart was all on fire his various thoughts gaue him many a shrewd battell and assaulted him on euery side galling him in such cruell manner that like a Bull inraged he knew not how to helpe himselfe nor whither to fly for succour nor behind vvhom to runne nor could he find any comfort for to ease those intolerable torments which he indured The Hare was single the Grayhounds many and all light-footed they had certaine Falcons too in their fauour that for all their high place would not refuse to stoope to their Lure for hope of reward to these I may adde a number of she-friends and acquaintance comming to visit and banquet with Daraxa who too too vsually set fire to the honour of many a faire Lady and blow the coales of Lust in many Noble houses of good report and honest fame many Ladies and Gentlewomen enter for such they are in appearance and all forsooth vnder the faire name of Uisites some out of the difficulty they find at home in their owne houses to effect their purpose others to worke deceite and to bring innocent Dames by one deuice or other into the same net
liu'd and ill they dye as was their life so was their end What doth he thinke with himselfe that suffers himselfe to be made Waxe when he taketh from one that which is his right or that which he iustly deserueth and doth transferre it on a foole or some vn-worthy person whom he hath a desire to pleasure Shall I tell thee what becomes of this man in the end He melts and drips away like Waxe not knowing how nor which way he comes to bee consumed his health decayes his honour diminisheth his wealth wastes away his friends faile him his wife his children and his kinsfolke are taken from him by Death on whom as on the proppes of his house leaned all his pretensions he is swallowed vp with Melancholy as it were in a graue or some deepe pit yet knowes not the cause why nor whence it should proceed But the cause my friend is that these are the whips of God wherewith he scourgeth them temporally in this world in that part which shall paine them most besides that which he reserueth for their farther punishment in the world to come And his diuine Maiesty for the comfort of the righteous is willing that those that doe dissolutely sinne by doing publike and open wrongs contrary to all right and reason should be corrected in the sight of men and in the open view of all the world to the intent that they may magnifie him in his iustice and draw consolation vnto themselues from his mercy which is also made knowne in the chastisement of the wicked Wouldst thou liue in health wouldst thou bee cheerefull and merry wouldst thou continue free from those disturbances which might giue thee cause to lament wouldst thou abound in riches and leade a contented life without melancholly Take then this rule of me Make thy dayly account with God confesse thy selfe vnto him euery day as if that very day thou wert to dye Let Iustice be obserued by thee in that maner as it is defined and set down vnto thee giuing to euery man that which is his due Eat of the sweat of thine owne browes and not of the labours of other men and to this end store thou vp such riches as are well and truely gotten so shalt thou liue contentedly so shalt thou be happy and euery thing shall prosper and thriue with thee and all shall goe well with thee and thine In good sooth I am halfe afrayd that this consideration of mine hath ledde mee on a little too farre where-into I haue so farre thrust in my foot that I had need of some helpe to pull it out I haue launched out too much into the deepe and ingulphed my selfe before I was aware I haue almost lost my selfe in this businesse in dilating vpon this point and should runne out much more at randome if I should goe about to tell you why and how some of these things are thus and thus carried whether out of priuate interest or affection or passion c. But I will bee silent all shall bee hush with me for I will not in these tongue-controlling dayes that the Law take hold vpon mee Secreta mea mihi My secret I will keepe to my selfe I will locke it vp close in mine owne bosome besides good and discreet silence is counted a holy thing Though in that which I haue spoken I acknowledge my excesse and confesse I haue with the Cobler gone beyond my Last this being a point of doctrine fitter to bee discussed by a Preacher then a Picaro These barkings will require better mouth'd Dogges Let them stretch out their throats and yawle alowd that they may discouer the theeues But alas it may happely or rather vnhappely bee that they haue their mouthes stopt with a crust which makes them to hold their peace CHAP. IV. Guzman de Alfarache deliuereth a learned and witty Discourse conceyued by himselfe against the Uanity of Honour touching by the way vpon the Vices of Seruants of Shop-keepers of Notaries of Proctors of Iudges of Artificers of Apothecaries of Physicians and of Lawyers I Haue made a long and a tedious digression and am well witting thereof to my selfe But I would not haue thee make it a matter of wonder for the necessitie that enforced me therevnto was very great And if two or more hurts meet in one and the selfe-same body it is good discretion to succour the more important not being vnmindfull in the meane while of the lesser So doth it often occurre in Warre and in all other things whatsoeuer I assure thee by the faith of an honest man that I am not able to tell thee which of the two were the greater either that which I did let alone or that which I tooke in hand considering how much both of them imported and of what consequence they were But let vs redeeme the Pawne that stands ingaged and returne againe to our former matter following the pursuite of that Discourse of whose footing we haue found the pricks already It was my hap one day to beare in my basket which I brought from the Shambles a quarter of Mutton for a certaine Hosier or Gentleman Taylor I had by chance at that time about me certaine old Coplas or Ballads which in a kind of broken tune still as I read this or t'other line I fell a singing as I went along My good Master hauing as it should seeme listened vnto me look't backe on the sudden and smiling said How now my totter'd Raskall a pox take you for a ragga-muffin can you reade you Rogue Yes marry can I Sir quoth I I thanke God I can reade reasonable well but my writing is better then my reading Sayst thou me so Boy And with that he intreated me that I would teach him to write his name or to make some marke that might serue for a subscription or vnder-signing hee cared not which for either would serue his turne I pray Sir said I what good can this doe you What can you benefit your selfe by hauing learned to make a bare marke and no more Me thinkes you should haue no great vse for that alone vnlesse you could write too Yes marry haue I Sir quoth he for I haue much worke goes through these hands of such and such great men I make all the cloathes their children weare and there by the way he reckons me vp a bead-roll of these and these Lords and therefore I would very faine if I knew how learne to write my Name or to make my Marke that if occasion were offered I might not be taken for an Asse and say like a foole as I am when I am call'd to subscribe Indeed Sir you must pardon mee I cannot write And so this businesse broke off as abruptly as it began And I making a large Soliloquium and meditation to my selfe went on a good while with the same after this manner Heere Guzman thou shalt see what a kinde of thing Honour is seeing it is conferred
gluttons and drunkards the world did not affoord our sides were ready to cracke with gurmandizing and our braines to burst with bowzing your Senators of Rome could not liue more merrily then we did for wee were as tall trencher-men and as good Epicures as the best of them And albeit vve are not so much respected nor liue not in that repute and esteeme as they doe yet our manner of life hath a great deale more ease in it and I am sure a great deale lesse trouble And we haue besides two such Priuiledges as none of them all no not the best man in Rome hath the like The one is a kinde of liberty that wee haue in begging yet neuerthelesse doe not loose our liberty which is not so with your better sort of men For misery hath no greater misery with it then when a man is forced to be beholding to such or such a friend to succour and relieue his wants though this helpe should come from the free hand of his owne naturall brother For hee buyes at a deare rate that receiues this kindnesse and farre more dearely does he sell who giues to him that is of a thankefull nature And if on this point of begging I might boldly speake my opinion it is the worstmis fortune that can befall a poore mans life when he once comes to be driuen to beg out of meere necessity For although it be freely giuen yet the very crauing therof doth cost him much Moreouer I shal tell thee what is the cause that begging doth so much vexe a man and why it goes so much against his stomake which is That man beeing a perfect reasonable creature like vnto God himselfe as himselfe saith for when he was to make man the most blessed Trinity assisting at that Creation God said Let vs make Man after our owne Image and likenesse And I could also tell thee how this is to be vnderstood but it is not proper for this time and place Well Man was made and comming forth into the world we are all of vs naturally inclined to deifie our selues seeking as much as in vs lyeth to come neere vnto God nay if it were possible to be gods And with this thirst we still grow dryer and dryer and with this hunger waxe weaker and weaker We see that God created all things we would faine doe the like And seeing we can not doe it as his diuine Maiestie did of nothing we would doe it of something as farre forth as our ability hath power to stretch seeking to conserue indiuidua Specierum the indiuiduals of euery Species or seuerall kinds vpon earth The bruit beasts in the Fields the Fishes in the Waters the Plants in the Earth And so euery thing in it's nature that is in the world He beheld those workes which he had made with his owne hands and they seemed to him very good as proceeding from those blessed and powerfull hands of his He tooke delight in looking vpon them for they were made to his minde This passeth currant at this day as it is set downe in the letter And we likewise are desirous to doe or at least to counterfet the like striuing to imitate him all that we may How well doe I like that Bird that I haue bred vp in mine owne house That Lambe which hath beene reared in mine owne Farme That Tree which hath been planted in mine owne Orchard That Flower which hath sprung vp in mine owne Garden What comfort doe I take in looking vpon them how does it ioy me to see them to thriue and prosper Insomuch that what my selfe haue not bred made or planted with mine own hands although it be otherwise very good in it selfe I wil not stick to pluck it vp by the roots cast it away from me neuer grieue therat it shal neuer trouble me wheras that which is the work of mine own hands the deare child of my industry the fruit of my labours though it be not so good as the other yet because it is my own handy-work I like it I loue it From my neighbours or my friends Tree I will not onely take away the Flower and the fruit but I will not so much as leaue a leafe or a sprigge therevpon and if I haue a minde thereunto I will not greatly care to cut it downe to the ground But if it be mine owne and that I haue planted it with mine owne hands it would grieue my very soule if I should finde but a Pismâ—…re or a Caterpiller vpon it to doe it any hurt or to see a Bird but to pâ—…cke at it and all because it is mine In a word we doe all of vs loue our owne workes And so in wishing well vnto them I am like to him that made me and haue it from him by inheritance The like is true in all other actions It is very proper in God to giue and very improper to craue Vnlesse when he requireth something of vs for our owne good For that which he asketh of vs it is not for himselfe neither hath he any need thereof for he is Remedium totius necessitatis The onely relieuer of all oâ—…r wants and the onely satisfier of the hungry He hath much and therefore is able to giue much and nothing can be wanting vnto him He doth communicate and impart vnto all according to their seuerall necessities easilier then thou canst take water out of the Sea and with a farre larger hand so great an in equalitie is there betwixt thy misery and his mercy We would likewise be like to him in this He made me according to his owne likenesse and I ought accordingly to be like vnto him euen as the thing instampâ—…d ought to be like vnto the Stampe How mad how eager how desirous and how foolishly are we all bent vpon giuing The Couetous the sauing â—…n the Rich the Vsurer the Begger all doe keepe and hoord vp for to giue But the most of these men vnderstand least as I told you before when they are to giue for they doe not giue till they be dead If thou aske these men why they masse vp money and why in their life-time they bury it vnder ground and to what end they doe it Some will answere thee that they lay it vp for their heires others for their soules others that they may leaue something behinde them and all of them sure that they carry none of it away with them Thou seest then how they are willing to giue and how out of its due time and season like an vntimely birth which comes not to perfection But in the end this is our end this our desire How God like does a man finde himselfe when with a generous minde he hath wherewith to giue and doth giue How sweet and pleasing is his hand vnto him how cheerâ—…full his countenance how quiet his heart how contented his Soule His gray haires are remoued his bloud is refreshed his life
too fast ty'de to get loose from them he could not so shift them of And therefore accepting their friendly offer he made choise of the former part of the night according to their owne agreement And with this plaine proceeding he prosecuted his Visit the third night though without hope of obtaining it doubting shee would not doe him that fauour in regard of that vnlucky accident that fell out the night before But for that Clorinia lou'd and that she truely lou'd nothing could detaine her from him but with a great deale of care was still inquiring whether her Gallant meant to come againe to glad her heart with his cheerefull and comfortable lookes being very inquisitiue to know what should bee the reason that caused him so to faile the last night of his promise Now whilst her Father and Mother were at supper rising from the table she went to the fore-said hole which she might safely doe for that the chimney neere where-vnto they supt stood on the one side of the Hall being a very large one and the window where the hole vvas on the other side neere adioyning to the corner in the midst whereof were certaine things placed betweene which did shadow and hinder the sight from the one side to the other Her father and her mother sate so that she might easily goe thither and speake softly without being heard of any The truth is shee watcht an occasion hauing well aduised with her selfe what might happen to make quicke dispatch and to rise from table as soone as possibly she could Who came thither so opportunely in so good a time that Dorido was there ready expecting her comming for from out the street he might heare the footing of certaine steps in the Hall which was a sure signe vnto him that those paces were troden by his Mistresse so that he made all the haste he could to get vp to see her And because this was the second time of their meeting they were a little better flesh't then they were before met not with those stoppages which heretofore had hindred their speech So that they now discoursed more boldly and more freely as farre forth as the time would giue them leaue which that night was but short and in a manner stolne and afterwards they tooke their leaues with a great deale of tendernesse on either part hauing agreed betweene themselues that as long as the Moone vvas in her wane they would inioy the fulnesse of their loues which increased now apace till some better meanes should be found for their freer accesse In this interim a yong Gentleman a very great friend of Doridos called Horatio fell in loue with Clorinia He courted her he seru'd her and obseru'd her as became a Louer notwithstanding that he knew that shee was his friends Mistresse But he knew withall that hee did not treat with intent to take her to wife but himselfe did Relying therefore vpon this their great friendship the iustnesse of his request and the honesty of his cause he intreated him of all loues that he would desist from making loue to Clorinia and giue way to him seeing their endes were so different Horatio's affectionate words and lawfull request were of that power and preuailed so much vvith Dorido that he told him that for his part he was vvell contented therewith promising him that if his Mistresse should so like of it and that she could finde in her heart to fancy and affect him hee would giue ouer his suite leauing the field open vnto him to take his pleasure without any contradiction in the world and that he should rest himselfe assured that he would no vvay stand in competition vvith him For the better effecting vvhereof he would doe two things The one to dis-deceiue Clorinia by deliuering plainely vnto her that by reason of a certaine Vow that hee had made to himselfe it was not in his power to be married vnto her which he would not breake for all the world The other the better to make her forget him he would goe about to make loue else-where Yet for that great friendship that was betwixt himselfe and Valerio he must hold him excused if he did not forbeare now and then to visit her vvhich might turne much to his good but no hurt at all being that his true intent and purpose vvas to fauour his pretension vpon all occasions that should offer themselues vnto him Herewith Horatio rested content and was wonderfull well satisfied and gaue Dorido many thankes not considering that hauing left it to Clorinias choyse and putting himselfe vpon her Election till that he knew her minde and had gained her good will he had negotiated little or nothing at all And the offer made by Dorido was vpon the confidence that he had that to speake thereof vnto Clorinia was no other then the tearing of her heart from forth her brest But Horatio carried away with vaine confidencies and various hopes intreated Dorido that he would speake a good word for him He promised he would that he might still maintaine his friendship with Horatio and not giue any note or scandall to their loue To comply therefore with his promise and to make good his owne offer when he met with his Mistresse he made a long discourse vnto her of all that had passed betweene them Telling her that if she could finde in her heart to loue Horatio and be brought to settle her affection vpon him God forbid that euer he should goe about to hinder so honourable an intent But in case she could not yet at least was she bound in thankfulnesse to accept of this his good will by not shewing her selfe coy and strange vnto him and if he past by the street where she was shee should not scornfully shut the Window against him and flie from his sight and should shew him a cheerefull looke though it were but feigned To this Clorinia answered betwixt anger and scorne telling him that hee should surcease to lay any such command vpon her and that he should speake no more thereof vnto her for if for this cause he should leaue and forsake her she would rather be content to be hated and abhorred by him then to wrong either him or her selfe by placing her loue else-where Who as hee had beene the first so he should be the last as long as she liu'd which life of hers she would presently sacrifice vnto him for to take away all occasion from him of commanding her to loue another or to forget him as for the rest he might doe as he saw cause she would not hinder him let him take what course it pleased him so as it liked him she would not stand against it Dorido tooke wonderfull contentment in hearing this answer come from her for these words of her were that true Chrisole wherein the Gold of their loues was refined and that touchstone that tryde the purenesse of their affections and gaue assurance that it was not counterfeit metall So
with their tyrannies iniuries and violencies O that it were in my power to consume and destroy another sort of cruell beastes as those that looke bigge and grow proud of their ease and plenty goe vaunting and boasting of their valour tearing vp the stones in the streets world-wandrers Vagabonds from Countrie to Countrie from Parish to Parish and from house to house making them-selues skimmers of other mens pottes being no way of any profit or seruing for any other vse then the Porters in the Alhondiga of Seuilla to lay in one burthen and to take out another venting lyes in one place and taking them vp in another carrying newes to and fro reporting those things that he ought to haue silenced being trusted therewith and will'd to be secret vttering them in preiudice of the person to whom he reuealeth them who cannot but take it ill maliciously causing differences and relating things worse then they were meant bearers of false witnesse raysers of dissension robbers of mens honours defaming the good persecuting the iust stripping men of their wealth and murthering and martyrizing the innocent It were a pleasing sight to see all such perish and to be made a publike spectacle to the world Nor is there in all Bruxels any such goodly hangings that doe either so much adorne or halfe so well become any Noble mans house as these would the Common-wealth if they were hung vp one after another by the Common Hang-man For it is very fit that there should be Poena praemium A punishment and a reward For if all were good and honest Lawes had beene superfluous and impertinent And if all men should haue beene wise Writers had beene fooles Phisicke was made for the sicke Honours for the vertuous and the Gallowes for lewd liuers And because I likewise know that Vice is so powerfull for that it rises out of a desire of libertie without acknowledgement of any Superiour either humane or diuine I am much afraid that these my written labours and my many indured misfortunes will not be of force to bridle thy vnruly appetites and to bring forth that good fruit which I could wish Holding that paines vaine and fruitlesse which is vndertaken vpon any respect whatsoeuer if it doth not in that it pretendeth obtaine it's desired end But because that the Rhethorician doth not alwaies perswade nor the Physician cure nor the Pilot arriue safely at his Port I must together with them comfort my selfe in that I haue performed my dutie by giuing thee good counsell and by affording thee light being therein like the Flint which being strooken giues fire to others to bee kindled in this or that place though it selfe remaine without In like manner the lewd liuer loseth his life receiueth punishment and indureth affronts making himselfe an example to all those that shall looke vpon him But here I will betake me to that way which presents it selfe vnto mee in this place Imitating therein your rude Clownes as also your nice Courtiers who passing along by the Roperia which is a publike place where all sorts of cloathes are to bee sold if by chance they lift vp their eyes and looke vpon them those Merchants that sell these commodities like your Birchen-Lane men fall presently a balling and plying of them one drawes him this way another that and keepe such a calling and such a tugging of them that they know not well which way to turne or winde themselues they are so distracted by them For they hauing an opinion if not a thorow'perswasion that they doe all deceiue all coozen and lye they goe warily to worke when they buy any wares of them I well wot the cause why which I need not to tell you because that which they sell will speake it out alowd without any other bodies helpe Well let vs now giue them way and suffer them to passe by if for no other reason at least for those fauours and courtesies which I haue had from them in the buying of things that were neuer bought giuing me good money for that which I brought and sold vnto them and for teaching mee from ouer-night against the next morning how to make Cassocks of Cloakes selling them the shreds for to foot Stockins and to make soles to keepe the feet warme and free from wet Or shall I here tell thee that the same is like to befall me which vsually happens to the carelesse traueller who not knowing the way goes from home neuer inquiring how he may hit it which hand to take or what turnings to make so that when hee hath gone some halfe league on his iourney he chanceth to come to the foot of a Crosse where he meetes with three or foure seuerall wayes and straining himselfe vpon his stirrops writhing his body he turnes his head about to see if he can espy any body that is able to direct him in his way But seeing none there at hand he fals to a Cosmographicall consideration with himselfe choosing either this or that which shall seeme likeliest vnto him to leade directly towards that place whither hee intended his iourney I see heere present before me so many diuers dispositions and such various and sundry sorts of tasks all of them hanging about mee euery one striuing to hale and pull mee as it were by force to come into their shop But God he knowes why and wherefore they doe it One would haue sweet and pleasant things another those that are tart and sowre this man will haue his Oliues fryde that will no salt no not with an Egge And if one man haue a minde to eate the legge of a Larke rosted in the snuffe of a Candle another would not be wanting who shall make no bones to tell they that of all the pulse and rootes that God made there was neuer any yet that could compare and come neere to the Radish for goodnesse The truth whereof vvas to bee seene in a certaine Papelisticall Minister a kinde of Officer as I may so tearme him betwixt a Clerke and a Scriuener that is conuersant in Paper-businesses a fellow wonderfull ill belou'd a notorious lyer and aboue all extremely couetous who remouing from one house to another after that he had carried his houshold-stuffe and other old moueables belonging there-vnto he stayd there behinde alone by himselfe searching and prying very diligently into euery nooke and corner thereof rifling and ransaking it from the floore to the roofe not so much as leauing a nayle to the walles for to hang a Hat on or the like necessary vse At last it was his hap to come into the Kitchen where hee lighted vpon an odde hole in the chimney wherein were three or foure Radishes which had lyen there a long time being dry tough withered and good for nothing These hee charily tyes vp in one bunch and very carefully brings them home to his Wife and with a Black-Smithes face looking frowningly vpon
to this Chop-loch with his finger said vnto him Anton Berrocal giue me my Pig and take you here your Asse But that this may be proued that truly by some President of these present times wherein we liue There was in Salamanca a principall Doctor of the Chayre one of the famousest and grauest Aduocates in all that Vniuersitie that often visited for his entertainment a certaine Gentlewoman that had profest her selfe a Nunne very faire she was well descended and wonderfull discreet And he being inforced to absent himselfe from thence for some few dayes he went his way without taking his leaue of her thinking that he had now attained to the perfection of his loue and that there was no need of these finenesses and niceties betweene them Afterwards when he was returned from his iourney hee vvent as he was vvont to visit her But vvhen hee saw that she would not admit of his Visit hee became very pensiue and sad there-vpon because hee could not imagine what should bee the cause of this sudden strangenesse hauing alwayes heretofore shew'd her selfe very kinde and louing vnto him But when hee came by some diligences that he had vsed to know the reason of it he was vvonderfull well contented therewith it seeming vnto him that this in some sort was rather a kinde of grace and fauour of hers theâ—… otherwise Well he sent vnto her to excuse himselfe earnestly intreating her that he might bee so much beholding vnto her as to see her vsing therein the meanâ—… of such Ladies and Gentlewomen as were friends to them both At last through much importunitie fore against her will she came forth to receiue his Visit but with that anger and disdaine that she could not containe her selfe but must needs shew it for the very first words that she let fly at him were these Base and ill-nurtur'd as thou art for such base thoughts argue no lesse then basenesse of bloud which is confirmed by thy vngentlemanly proceeding whereof to thy shame thou hast made too open show For hauing thy being as it were from me and for my sake and hauing come thereby vnto that height wherein now thou art forgetting all the good I haue done thee and all the charge that I haue beene at to qualifie thee and put thee forward in the world thou hast lost all that due respect and thankefulnesse which I deserued at thy hands but since the fault vvas mine in raising thee it is no maruell that mine should be the punishment To these she added many other more sharpe and bitter words so that the poore Gentleman being dasht quite out of countenance because many were there present when she vs'd him thus coursely and gaue him such a sound rattling incensed with the excesse of this her rigour he made her this short and cutted reply Gentlewoman touching this complaint of yours be it with or without any iust cause I will not stand to dispute it And for your accusing of my vn-mannerly proceeding let that likewise passe For Cada vno siente como ama Euery man best knowes how and how much he loues And I acknowledge that all this ariseth from the many and great fauours that you haue been pleased to conferre vpon me But whereas you touch mee in my reputation being forced there-vnto by you it is fit and necessary that therein I should satisfie those that are heere present I must be so bold with you as to tell you plainely That since God hath been pleased to raise me to that I am I come not thereto either by corruption or fauour but by mine owne great paines and continuall studies haue I procured my preferment She then interrupting him and not suffering him to goe on returned him but with a great deale of choller this quicke answere Thou lyest like a Villaine Thou rise by thy learning Thou had'st not come to that great knowledge that thou hast nor hadst euer had so much wit as to learne to mend so much as an old shoo if I had not put spirit into thee quickned thy wit and perfected thy vnderstanding by giuing thee leaue to make loue vnto me This whetstone put an edge vpon thy dull sconce and but for this thou might'st haue sunke and neuer beene able to lift vp thy head By this then wee may see how much it may import a man to loue and that it is not so great a fault as some would make it Mistake mee not I meane when the ends are good and honest But in my Master it was taken in the worfer part for his ends did exceed and passe their bounds and the blame of all that ill was laid vpon me euery man conceiuing that I was the cause thereof Complaining that since I came to serue him I had opened his scull and put into his head nothing but Hawkes-bels and Rattles All that he tooke delight in were merry tales idle iests and the like vanities which till then he had neuer formerly been giuen vnto It might very well be that with my heate I might cause some buds or little sprigs to sprout forth But for to speake the truth seeing the Parties are not heere to be examined and I am the man whom they thus accuse I assure you that others had the handling of him before that wrought him this harme For when I entred into his seruice and that hee caâ—…e to put his cure into my hands the Physicians despayred of his recouerie and had giuen him quite ouer and would haue no more to doe with him I vvill not deny but that I might minister much thereof vnto him for by reason I was in such fauour with him I had likewise the freedome to vse many odde foolish iests and preiudiciall liberties of speech I was familiarly acquainted with all Rome I had as free accesse into euery house as into our owne excusing my pretensions that I onely repaired to such and such places to giue lessons to some to sing to the Gitterne and teach other some to dance I did intertaine your young Wenches in good conuersation with merry and pleasant iests and your widdowes with whispering tales in their eares and entring into a league of friendship with your married men I got likewise the good will of their Wiues to whom they would bring mee to laugh and make sport wherewith they were well pleased for the good contentment they tooke in my harmelesse mirth And all this I did to the end that from this good ground my Master might take occasion to declare and open himselfe more freely to me For I relating vnto him what and how things passed abroad it was an easie matter for me to kindle with the breath of my words the fire that was in his heart by blowing first away the ashes from off those coales that were already throughly tinded aliue and very quicke within him He was in a good disposition there-vnto and therefore any the least occasion would serue the turne He was a kinde
vnkindely complaining much that I should make him such a stranger and deale so vnfriendly with him as not to alight at his house which I might command as freely as mine owne Which Sayauedra hauing excused as vvell as hee could they afterwards fell into discourse talking of his iourney and some other things of Rome vntill it was night At which time Pompeyo for the present taking his leaue of him that hee might leaue him to his rest Sayauedra gaue in his presence the key of one of his Trunkes to one of his seruants saying vnto him vvithall Doe you heare Sirrha Goe you along with S◅n̄or Pompeyo and take mee out such a sute which you shall finde in such a part for I will put on that to morrow They went away together and his seruant punctually performed that vvhich his Master had commanded him vn-cording in the presence of Pompeyo the very selfe-same Trunke where-vnto hee was directed and taking forth the fore-said sute of cloathes hee lockes mee the Trunke and putting vp the key in his pocket hee comes his way That night Pompeyo sent him a very good supper a neat collation of Comfits and sweet meates and admirable rich Wines Wherewith when Sayauedra and his fellowes had supt and had eate and drunke their fill they got them to bed where they so soundly slept that they did not wake till the next day That morning Pompeyo came some-what early to visit him but his seruants intreated him to hold their Master excused for he had not taken any rest all that night and was now newly falne asleepe Hee told them he was very sorry hee had so ill a night of it hee would not therefore now trouble him but would goe his way and come againe anon But they would by no meanes giue way to that telling him that their Master would bee very angry with them when hee should know that hee had beene there and that none of them had either so much wit or manners to tell him of it Where-vpon they went presently vp into his Chamber and signified vnto him that Sen̄or Pompeyo was come to see him Hee was very glad of it and commanding one of them to set ready a Chaire for him sent down another to intteat him to come vp Pompeyo as soone as hee came in asked him how hee did and vvhat was the cause of his last nights indisposition He told him that for vvant of vse hee was so weary with riding Post that hee found himsslfe some-what distempered his body being ouer-heated and that hee had a purpose to be let bloud Pompeyo was very earnest with him that hee would change his lodging and take his house for his Inne Sayauedra excused himselfe telling him that his seruants were vnruly and giuen to disorder and that hee was resolued to put them away and to take new within these eight or nine dayes and that then he would promise him to receiue this courtesie at his hands which he had so kindly offered vnto him Intreating him in the meane while that he would doe him the kindnesse as to send his Trunkes by one of his owne seruants because hee had no great trust in any of his owne and fearing that giuing them the Keyes to fetch such things as hee needed they might put some tricke vpon him Pompeyo liked well of it and thought that hee did therein very wisely and discreetly onely hee seemed not to bee so well pleased that he should treat of taking Physicke in an Inne But resting contented with the promise that hee had made him hee performed what hee desired and vvas no sooner come to his lodging but hee laded certaine Porters with his Trunkes and sending one of his seruants along with them hee saw them safely deliuered to Sayauedra Hee sent him that day a very dainty dinner and those two friends hauing taken leaue of each other for that night that they might goe to bed in a good houre Sayauedra and his Companions conuayed secretly into another house that which they had brought thither and taking Post departed presently for Florence whither when they were come they diuided the spoile amongst them These copartners with Sayauedra were their crafts-Masters subtill fellowes and stout Rogues and the principall plotter and contriuer of all these pilfring proiects was a Bolonian borne hee was a great Scholler and a very learned Doctor in this kinde of Art his name was Alexandro Bentiuoglio the sonne of a Doctor in that Vniuersitie who was a rich man and a great proiector but of no extraordinarie Discourse but one that did build Castles in the ayre and frame in his imagination mighty matters and things of great intertainment This man had two sonnes in condition quite opposite and contrarie one to the other The elder was called Uicencio an ignorant yong fellow a silly Asse the laughter of the people with whom your Noblemen and Gentlemen made sport he would bolt you out the famousest fooleries that could bee deuised One while hee vvould boast his Nobilitie another while his Valour sometimes hee would take vpon him to be a great Musician and then falling off from that hee would bragge of his Horsemanship and his Poetry and aboue all hee would professe himselfe to bee the onely Enamorado and perfectest Loue-proficient in all the Country So that of him it might bee said Dexalas penen Suffer such to dye in their folly The other was this Alexander a notable Thiefe nimble finger'd and of a strong and able body Who though hee were well borne yet was he ill bred and for want of good education became an excellent Vagabond and a notorious Rogue by keeping of euill company This mans Companions were other such like ruffianly fellowes as himselfe For like will to like and all sorts of things haue recourse to their proper center Now because hee was their Ring-leader and the onely principall man amongst them and that did all in all hee made Sayauedra content himselfe with a little giuing him some but the worser sort of my cloathes And thinking that he could not remaine there in safety he got him into the Popes territories where his father was Alcalde So that he posted to Bologna carrying away with him the Buttons the Iewels and the Pistolets retiring himselfe home to his fathers house And the rest of his fellowes that shared with him fled to Trent as they afterwards told mee in Bologna and there they dispersed themselues When Pompeyo returned to visit mee not finding my Statua there nor any of his fellowes hee askt mine Host of the house what was become of them He told him that the night before they went away from thence with their Trunkes but whether they knew not Hee tooke this for an ill signe and suspecting what this might chance to proue in the end vsed great and extraordinarie diligences in the search of them and hauing notice that they rode Post by the way of Florence hee sent Hue and Cry after them with a warrant
knew well enough that he was likely to be my onely helpe at a pinch my strong forte and the onely trench whereunto I might with safety retire and that I could not haue met with such another companion in all the world for my purpose I went preparing him by a little and a little working and disposing him by degrees that he might not afterwards thinke that he had seene strange visions and vaine apparitions and that whatsoeuer should hereafter befall me might not seeme new vnto him or accounted as a nouelty When I had thus moulded him he said vnto me Sir There is one remedy that offers it selfe vnto me now on the sodaine neither chargeable nor hard but very easie to be effected and that may make much for your profit Seeing there is no remedy but wee must be gone it is not much materiall which gate we goe out at for at any one of the ten we may trauaile out on our ten toes to goe abroad and see the world Let vs if you will be rul'd by me take the way that leads to Bologna for besides that it is neere at hand and that we shall there see that famous Vniuersity wee may chance likewise to haue the good lucke to meere with Alexandro Bentivoglio that Master of mine who went away with the most part of your goods For if we hap to find him there as I verily beleeue we shall It will be an easie matter for you to recouer your owne For vpon that information which was made of the theft in Siena it is not to be doubted that though you get not what you lost againe yet he or his father will at least be content to giue you good satisfaction I tooke this to be no bad counsell but was very well pleased therewith not thinking on any other thing then the force of Law and the iustnesse of my cause and let iustice deale neuer so indirectly with me I could not conceiue the least cause of doubt in regard of the cleare notice I could make of the theft which would if not all yet haue allotted me the greater part of my goods perswading my selfe that this party who was principall in this theft knowing him-selfe guilty therof would haue come vnto me vpon his knees desiring my pardon and that he would voluntarily haue offered to make me amends for the wrong he had done me and to come vpon any termes to agreement with me as well for that his parents and kindred in that Citie were persons of principall note as also for that notwithstanding all the meanes they were able to make to bolster out the matter yet would they neuer permit that so foule a fact should come to publike hearing and be iudicially tryde nor that they and their house should be blotted and blurr'd with so foule a staine and dishonour as this could not chuse but proue if it should once come to be ripped vp Will you heare a strange kinde of humour in me you shall then know it by this It is not long since you heard me say what a delicate and delightsome place Florence was and what a deale of pleasure I tooke therein And now vpon the sudden I was growne out of loue with it the very name of it was growne so hatefull vnto me that it was ready out of a loathing that I had taken to it to turne vp my stomach It began now me thought to stinke I could not endure the sent of it euery thing seemed so foule and so filthy to my sight that I did now long to be gone and till then euery day was to me a thousand You may see my masters what wonders want of money can worke You will in a moment hate those things which you lou'd most when you lacke wherewithall to maintaine both your selues and them Now my minde gaue me that there was not such another Citie in the world as Bologna wherein I should no sooner set my foot but I should recouer my stolne wares and haue wherewithall to spend and to keepe company with your young Students lads of the right stampe merry greekes much of mine owne size and marke with whom I might play three or foure venewes when I were so disposed without any great disaduantage of weapon And the dice might haply haue giuen me so lucky a chance and haue hit so right that I might haue had the good fortune to haue followed my studies for that learning which my Lord Cardinall bestowed vpon me I had not as yet forgot it but was very ready and perfect in all that had beene taught me And questionlesse with that little learning that I then had I might very well haue proceeded Master and made a shift to liue by that profession if that kinde of course had beene fitting for me or that my selfe had beene willing to apply my minde hereunto But stay a while Guzman be not thou too hastie Wilt thou offer to traile a gowne after thee being so weake that thou canst scarce hale a halter at thy heeles Hold thy hand this is not a taske for thee to vndertake There is no talking of commencing Doctor till the bowe of preferment be drawne home by the strong arme of angels What canst thou hope for then who art so poore that thou art scarce able to wagg the string I was now fully resolued to begin my iourney and to make all the haste I could And so in an instant I put this my intention in execution Away goes Sayavedra and I together making directly for Bologna And because I had flying thoughts in my head I was willing to put wings to my horse making such good speed that we came thither that night but slept very little for we spent the most part of it in plotting and casting about how we should beare our selues in this businesse and whilest we were discoursing to and fro what were best to be done Sayavedra hauing looked well as it should seeme on his owne cards sayes vnto me Sir I hold it not so fit that I should be seene herein at all especially now at this my first flight but rather to lye close awhile till we may see where it will be best to giue the wound and when wee shall come to know where the game lies and that there is any hope of doing good then let vs let flie and strike it dead For if Alexandro be in the towne and should know that I am here which he cannot choose if I stir abroad being so well knowne as I am he will question me wherefore I am come hither and with whom And that knowne he will absent him-selfe forthwith from the Citie and so we shall be defeated of our purpose Or if he chance but to suspect that I had a finger in this businesse and that I was the cause of this iourney and his shame there is no way but one with me he will surely kill me so that neither of these two will aduantage vs any thing nor is
went vnto this Gentleman to demand so much of him as he was rated at in their note He refused to pay it Whereupon they distrained on his goods and paid themselues The Gentleman being much offended with this their proceeding goes forthwith to his Lawyer asks his counsell who in conclusion drawes me a petition for him grounded vpon all both Law and Reason wherein he layes open his ancient Gentry and the noblenesse of his House and that in regard thereof he was priuiledged from all manner of sessings and such other the like payments and that therefore he did humbly petition the Court that they would be pleased to giue present order that what the Collectors had forcibly taken from him might againe be restored and be deliuered backe vnto him as in all equitie it ought When this petition was by them deliuered vnto the Alcalde hauing read it and heard what they could say for themselues he called to the Register and said vnto him Mark well what I shal say vnto you see you set it down in the very same words as I shall deliuer it vnto you This Petitioner then said he as he is a Gentleman I will by no meanes debarre him of his priuilege God forbid I should denie him his iust request but as he is a poore man his House growne now to decay and himselfe as you see in want I hold it very fit that he pay as others doe That I had iustice on my side no man doubted it it was so publike a thing that all the world tooke notice of it But I was poore and needy and therefore it was fit I should pay for all and there was no reason in that respect that they should doe mee iustice I presently smelt a rat I saw this was a bad signe and was shrewdly afraid that all my labour would be lost But I could not for all this perswade my selfe nor could it sincke into my head that I should be that man or whom it is said by way of prouerbe Paçiente y apaleado That I must goe away with the wrong and the blowes too First be made cuckold and afterwards knockt for my prating Well such was my hard fortune that being not able to bring in my proofes in so short a time it so fell out with me that my Bill of Complaints was throwne out of the Court and held as a thing of no validitie or force in Law and that of the aduerse part tooke place against me declaring there in Court that I by this my petition had shamed an infamous Lâ—…bell against his sonne by meanes whereof his House and hâ—… honour was much defamed adding and interferting in maiorem cautelam I know not what a world of words and what strange and intricate termes That I did spâ—…te indubitatè c. That I did it wittingly and willingly impudently and malitiously aggrauating the matter against me with all the odious termes they could deuise that if I should set them downe one by one they would take vp a whole sheet of paper Alleaging farther against me that forasmuch as his sonne was a quiet honest and peaceable Gentleman and of a good both report and life I did deserue I know not what exemplarie punishment hanging burning and drowning all was too little that I knew not what to make of it nor what a Gods name they would doe with me Which things wâ—…n they were read vnto me I said to my selfe These men may haue healthy bodies but I am sure they haue sicke soules They may haue good purses but I finde to my cost they haue bad consciences I was carelesse as one that was confident of a good cause I neuer shrunke aside and as I was afterwards going about my businesse that my sute might not fall for want of following I was taken vp in the midst of the street by an Arrest and presently carried away to prison without any other information against me saue only the putting vp of my petition and acknowledging it to be mine There is no sword that hath so keene and sharpe an edge as Calumnie and false Accusation and then cuts deepest when it is in the hand of a tyrannous Iudge whose force and power is such that it is able to ouerthrow and lay leuell with the ground the best grounded Iustice that is though it haue neuer so sure neuer so strong a foundation Which it doth then most and most easily when a poore mans cause comes in his way who suspects poore harmelesse soule nothing lesse then to receiue hurt from him to whom he flyes for helpe My businesse was plaine no tricks no giggs in it I did only set downe the naked truth but they made it I know not how by their quillets and deuices knotty and vneuen though there was not a man neither within nor without the Towne that did not know all was true that I had deliuered and all this did plainly appeare to the Iudge to be so and that I had sufficient information All this is very good yet for all this goodman Guzman giue me leaue to tell you that you are a goose-cap Thou art poore thou wantest fauour and friends and therefore art neither to be heard nor beleeu'd These are not Cases that are to be brought before the Tribunals of men but when thou hast occasion to haue thy cause try de goe get thee to God petition him where the truth shall appeare face to face without any need of the fauour of thy friend nor an Aduocate to plead thy cause nor a Register to record it nor a Iudge to wrest it But here they made a sport of Iustice and like Iuglers plaid leggerdemaine with me They punisht me as an vnmannerly man of my tongue a lyar and a lewd companion I had spent my moneyes lost my goods put in prison gyves clapt on my legs treated with euill language vpbraiding mee with many foule and vnciuill reproches vnworthy my person without suffering me to open my mouth in mine owne defence And when I would haue answered their obiections and giuen them satisfaction by writing when they saw how the world went with me my Proctor forsooke me my Solicitor would not come at me my Aduocate refused to plead for me so that I only now remained in the power of the publike Notarie The only comfort that I had was the generall voice of my wrong comforting me that that terrible and fearefull day would one day come that the powerfull shall for all his power be condemned to Hell and that there your potentes potenter punientur your mighty men shall be mightily punished for that they are accursed of God for peruerting of Iustice. And that which he shall leaue behinde him shall not continue to the third heyre though he tye his land neuer so fast nor make neuer so strong a conueyance that it shall not goe from the house For he cannot though hâ—… would neuer so faine tye the inclinations of those that
thy purse Well you will say it may be so I care not for all this Let the worst come that can come there are many Churches to flie vnto for shelter and the world is wide enough for vs all Tell me thou ignorant man thinkest thou to excuse one error with another Suppose the best that can befall thee in this case it is no more but temporis dilatio a little gaining of time Neither there no not in the Church wilt thou be able to endure either the Priest or his Curate or that worshipfull master his Sexton And what thinkst thou that thou must suffer that they may beare with thee and giue thee leaue to stay amongst them Thinkst thou there is no more in it then so to say I will goe to some Church or other and there take Sanctuary Thou wilt meet with more troubles there then thou art aware of This incommodate accommodating of thy selfe will cost thee money nor canst thou continue there for euer Thinkest thou it so small an inconuenience to leaue thine owne home and so to goe seeke thy fortune in forraine Countries If haply thou be a Spaniard as I my selfe am wheresoeuer thou shalt come thou art sure to be an vnwelcome guest thou shalt be ill receiued amongst them how faire a show soeuer they make thee for we haue this aduantage of all other nations in the world that we are more abhorred in all places and of all persons then any other people vnder the Sunne but whose fault it is I know not Thou goest wandring through desarts from Inne to Inne from a priuate lodging to a common vittayling house Thinkst thou that they are all honest people that haue for their Patron the good King Don Alonso Inne-keepers and Vittaylers thou knowest not poore silly soule what kinde of vermine they are and therefore thou set'st so light by them and seek'st not to flie from them Lastly thou shalt endure many inconueniences in these thy trauels abroad suffering heats and colds winde and raine bad weather and bad wayes and with it the distastfull company of diuers distinct Nations one while it raines another while it snowes the riuers rise and thou canst not passe night is neere and thy Inne farre off it growes darke as pitch and the clouds furiously discharge vpon thee their lightning and thunder and for that thou art of an impatient spirit thou hadst rather dye a thousand deaths then endure it Goe to then goe thy wayes at last leaue off these thy idle thoughts of going to Law sit downe rather with losse and liue in peace For it is better that the world should say of thee that thou art a patient wise man then a reuengefull foole What haue they either done or said vnto thee that thou keep'st such a coyle and that no man was euer so wrong'd as thou art If that be true which they haue spoken of thee it is thou that hast giuen them cause so to doe and if they lye a lye is a lye and he that lyes let him goe like a lyar as he is And therefore he did not thee so much wrong as himselfe nor hast thou any reason to be reuenged on another by indangering thy selfe Neglect him and let him goe for a knaue as he is for thou canst not take a fuller reuenge of him nor punish him more then to let him passe for an idle foole and follow thine owne businesse I haue spoken enough of this thinke vpon it it may make much for thy good if thou wilt well weigh what I haue said vnto thee But I must returne againe into my old way and now I am entring into it CHAP. IV. Guzman de Alfarache being freed out of prison falls to gaming gets money Whereupon he resolues with himselfe to goe to Millayne I Came out of prison and got me to my lodging being as sad and melancholy as I was poore and miserable saying to Sayavedra What doest thou thinke of the good market that we haue made in this fayre We may make merry with the gaines we haue got this will serue for once to keepe vs out of beggerie we need no money now let vs spend and be liuely Consider now I pray with your selfe vpon what a sure ground they goe who seeke to recouer their owne by Law He told me Sir I see how things are carryed for I haue beene an eye-witnesse of all that hath past but what remedy is there to be had against the passions and priuate interests of Iudges and the force and power of the potent But that which toucheth me neerest and grieues me most is That you will finde fault with me and be offended with me that I haue beene the instrument of this your wrong and more particularly at this present by that counsell and aduice which I gaue you to recouer your goods Which though it were done all for the best hath vnfortunately fallen out to the worst Sed homo proponit Deus disponit Man proposeth one thing and God disposeth another Who would euer haue dream't that things would haue fallen out as they doe What should him say vnto it There is now no helpe for it For as a man cannot auoyde the stone which a foole throwes by chance ouâ—… a house and kills him therewith So much lesse was it to be imagined or once to be suspected by vs that such a businesse as this so faire and so full of truth should proue so dis-proportionable and so quite opposite to our vnderstanding Whilest we were thus talking of this matter there com's me a couple of guests that were strangers into the Inne challenged by a young man of that Citie to play at Cards And in a little square roome that diuided their chamber from mine they had set vp a table and to play they goe Now I walking vp and downe that way in my passing to and fro seeing what past amongst them I was desirous for to entertaine the time and to driue away melancholy to draw neerer vnto them and to looke vpon them I did so and pulling a stoole vnto me taking that which came first to hand I sate me downe viewing one of their hands for the spâ—…ce of some two houres or more in all which time there was little or nothing lost on either part The money went to and fro losing one while and getting another Fortune had show'd her selfe so equall that shee had made them in a manner all sauers what was wonne was not worth the speaking of there being no difference to be discerned in that they had drawne before they began Euery man entertained himselfe with his owne money which he drew at first expecting a lucky pull whilest I in the meane while had a shrewder pull in mine owne bosome They had not that griping them-selues yet did they cause it in me without any other why or wherefore saue only by my looking on his cards by whom I sate when either he lost through want
gaine or to entertaine the time If for gaine I say nothing vnto it saue that those who bend them-selues that way are like vnto Pyrats that put them-selues forth to sea to purchase some prize Capiat qui capere potest catch he that can catch Let euery one arme his own ship as well as he can and haue an eie to the bullets that flie about his eares and those other warlike weapons which they vse in such kinde of fights Who goe scouring the Seas a whole yeare in hope to meet with one lucky day They that play for intertainment should bee onely such whom the Cards them-selues doe marke and point out vnto vs In them shall we picke out some learning for if we shall but consider the Kings the Queenes and the Knanes that are there pictured and painted forth vnto vs from the vppermost of all the other to the lowest which is the Ace you shall not finde any portraitures or shapes as in the former giuing vs thereby to vnderstand that none should play there-at but Kings Queenes and Knanes I can assure you that in all the whole packe of Cardes you meete not with any Merchants Trades-men Lawyers nor Diuines for they are not befitting their professions The very Aces speake as much vnto vs for from the Knaue or rather Sota which is the Souldier downe to the Ace which is the least and last Card thou shalt see nothing else but spots admonishing vs thereby that all except the aforesaid are but Asses that shall offer to play at Cards And such another Asse was this my adoptiue sonne in losing that which perhaps was none of his owne nor had wherewith to pay at least could hardly spare it But I will not straine this string so hard that I should quite debarre men of these noble entertainments for I will not call him a gamester who plaies but now and then for his recreation once or twice halfe a dozen or halfe a score times in a yeare for this cannot hurt him much especially if he doe not play out of a greedy desire of gaine but onely for sport and pastime Howbeit I hold it a thing impossible that a man should set himselfe to play without a desire to winne though it should be but for a pinne and that he play with his wife or his sonne For although a man doe not stake money and so cannot be said to play for couetousnesse of the coyne yet the opinion of a mans vnderstanding and iudgement lies then at stake and there is no man so meane spirited and of that weaknesse of nature that would willingly be beaten by another if he could otherwise chuse This my man I told you of was one of the guests to the house where I lay the winnings were diuided betweene his companion and the Citizen the quarrell ceased for that time and a fresh challenge was made against after supper And so they brake off the winners going each their way as their seuerall occasions lay and the loser to looke out more money I doubt not but hee vs'd all the diligence he could to get more for gamesters soldome want money to game though scarce euer haue any to pay their debts but because it is a massie kinde of mettall and waighes very heauy it sinkes downe still to the bottome and is long and hard a getting vp againe hee could not it should seeme get any money yet he came thither though without it more offended with those that would not lend it him then with those who had got it from him He went walking and raging vp and downe the roome puffing and blowing like a Bull all the whole chamber was too little for him One while he walkes athwart it another stalkes along from one end to the other then againe flings me from one corner to the other corner huffing and chafing nothing could content him all was vexation of spirit he railes vpon the Citie and vpon that traytor that was the cause of his comming thither that that was no Country for honest men to dwell in but for thieues and cut-throats being that he had in that towne a hundred knowne friends and all of them rich and well moneyd men yet could he not borrow one Royall 〈◊〉 them all and began to sweare that he would doe this and that and I know not what if it should be his hap to meet with any of them in his owne Countrie I gaue him the hearing and held my peace And when he went into his chamber I might heare him sit downe on his bed-side and might from mine heare likewise the blowes which he gaue with his fist vpon the table that stood by him I cal'd Sayavedra aside and told him Occasion is now offered vnto me either to get out of my troubles or to get me to an Hospitall And seeing that small store of money which is remaining vnto me is not so much as to sustaine vs any long time let vs sup well or goe to bed with a iarre of water all 's one as good to day as to morrow for hold out much longer wee cannot What thinkst thou of this tell me thy opinion whether I shall play the foole or the wise man in doing that which I intend Shall it not bee well done that after supper when the same company shall meet againe together wanting a third to maintaine the combat I should come forth as a challenger into the lists aduenturing to runne my Lance amongst the rest putting my selfe vpon fortune either to lose or winne the honor of the day by hazarding those few Crownes that I haue Sayavedra made answer vnto me That I should haue him euer ready at hand vpon all occasions being that he had now set vp his rest to doe me seruice and that hee would carefully doe whatsoeuer I would haue him spake I in earnest or in iest and were it good or ill that I should vndergoe he would alwaies sticke close vnto me and be still at mine elbow to performe that which I should be pleas'd to command him Yet norwithstanding that vpon this occasion I might not come off with dishonor for wee were then driuen very low and almost brought to beggers bush it were good to secure the businesse Wherefore he would marshall things in that manner that both safely and subtlely he would range all ouer the field and euermore giue me aduice of my aduersaries forces and how and where their strength lay and when I was to charge them home as likewise to make my retreat so that he keeping a true account of their Cards and the numbers wherewith they were to set vpon me it was not possible that I should lose When hee had said thus much vnto me a man might haue pul'd my skin ouer mine eares and I should neuer haue felt it for I was for very ioy ready to leape out of it my selfe for my ability at play and the skill and cunning that I had in
gaines But I am so confident of the noblenesse of your disposition that this my comming to serue you seeing you haue beene pleased to entertaine me for your seruant shall not be only for satisfaction of that debt wherein I stand bound vnto you but also make much for my profit I was glad to see this arrow flie forth of his quiuer and that he had touch't mee vpon that string whereupon I thus replyed vnto him Friend Sayavedra What is past is past and there is no more to be said of it for there is no man so much man and master of himselfe which either here or there this place or that this or that time doth not slip in one kinde or other We liue all in the flesh and all flesh is weake Others haue this weaknesse some other wayes Euery one committeth his errour one in one sort another in another As thou hast in this thing wherein my selfe am likewise faulty God helpe me in my iudgement for I know not what will become of me For I finde I haue as much cause as he that hath most if not more boldly to vndergoe any desperate attempt whatsoeuer And let him be who or what â—…e will had he found himselfe in that grea want and miserie as we were he â—…ould haue done the like as we haue done which was no better then plaine theft to cozen these poore men of that little which they had which perhaps was all that they had wherewithall to liue Nor would I at that time being in that poore case as I was haue spared any purse whatsoeuer had it had a thousand Crownes in it though it had beene of an Orphane that had neither father nor mother to helpe it And seeing that we are fallen into this errour and for that I perceiue thou hast vnderstanding and iudgement to apprehend any thing and to go through with it I perswade my selfe thou doest likewise comprehend that I am no Trader in the Indyes nor any of your rich Fucaro's but a poore young man as thou art rob'd of his substance and depriued of his necessaries by such meanes as are best knowne to thy selfe nor haue I any greater or better profession to liue by then that which thou hast seene in me Now because I would not doe any thing that might fauour of basenesse or vnlike my selfe and to beare the same port I did heretofore I must endeuour to maintaine my selfe at least in some reasonable fashion as euery honest man ought to doe not falling a lot from that state and condition of life wherein my parents left me and whereunto my so tune had rays'd me For albeit I seru'd that Lord of mine the French Embassador and liu'd in house with him it was out of that loue which he bore vnto me from a childe and vpon the earnest intreaty that he made vnto my friends my father and he being of ancient acquaintance and hauing liu'd and conuersed long together in Paris And so he begg'd me of him saying he should take no farther care for me and that he would one day make me a man But since that things haue so fallen out with me as they haue as in part you your selfe know and that I haue left his house and am now come from him I am not minded to returne thither any more till I haue seene somewhat of the world and that I may come home rich and in plenty and be able to liue in ease and pleasure all the rest of my life Euery place affords good bread and that of Rome agrees not with my stomacke for it doth not digest very well with me but turnes to rawnesse and crudities And it is no maruayle that all men should seeke out some meanes or other to liue especially seeing they that haue lesser abilities endeuour the like Turne thine eye aside and looke vpon as many men as now liue in the world view and consider them well and thou shalt finde that they all goe seeking to encrease their estates to aduantage themselues the best that they can and failing in those obligations whereunto they are tide both in honor and honestie by one deuice or other this or that tricke euery one seekes to aduance himselfe and his fortunes as high as he can The King seekes to augment his State and inlarge his Kingdome The Gentleman to raise his House The Merchant to encrease his wealth and to driue such a trade as may turne to his great profit And the Trades-man to gaine by his Trade And that not alwaies by their leaue in that conscionable and lawfull fashion as is fitting they should For it happeneth so with some of them that first growing knuâ—…kle deepe and afterwards vp to the elbowes in vngodly gaine and vniust dealing they neuer leaue off till they be vp to the very eyes nay ouer head and eares I will not say in Hell doe thou say it for me whose tongue is bolder then mine to lay this censure vpon them In conclusion all the world in this case is as it were another Rochelle Euery man liue for himselfe get hee that can get Onely they that are vnfortunate as thou art pay the punishment of their sinne If thou hadst beene a thiefe of the largest size I say one of those great ones that shouldst haue gone away with three or foure thousand Duckats at a clap thou mightst peraduenture haue made thy peace bought out fauour and iustice and mightst haue past well enough with them and haue come off cleare as they often doe But those poore wretches which know not how to negociate nor haue any set rents no receipts nor Bils of exchange nor know how to get a great deale of money into their hands compounding afterwards for a little paying backe a third part and that slowly ill or neuer these poore rogues I say that neither haue the wit to inuent nor the power to aspire to any great bootie nor to vndertake great matters are as infamous thieues sent to the Gallies and sometimes hang'd not for thieues for thieues are not hang'd but because they did not well know what did belong to their office and were not their owne crafts-masters And I will here by the way tell thee what I heard of a Slaue that was a Negro entre boçaly ladino one that was a nouice and was better skil'd in his owne then the Country language wherein he liu'd being scarce perfect in either whicâ—… story will fall in here very fitly In Madrid in the daies of my child-hood where I resided some time there were adulterers led to execution and although this sin be very common there and much vsed amongst them yet it is seldome punished for there are neuer wanting good meanes and good moneys by meanes whereof these kinde of crimes are well accommodated but at this time and with this womans husband they could worke no good A world of people went forth to see them especially your women insomuch
vvere in that thrust and throng of people we did not so much intend your good as expect that some farther quarrell vvould haue growneth reupon vvherby vvee might vvith the more safety haue got some Cloakes or Hats but that occasion being taken away missing thus of our purpose wee began to plot how wee might commit this theft making me as their â—…anner was Cabeça de Lobo the Wolfes head the instrument of their profit vvhilst they kept their owne fingers out of the fire and would be sure to be out of the danger of Gun-shot This Story vvas he telling me vvhen vvee were now come to our iournies end And so ceasing to talke any farther of it vve came into our Inne vvhere vve presently had that prouided for vs vvhich vvas fitting for trauellers that were not to make any long stay CHAP. VI. Sayavedra meets in Milan with a friend of his that seru'd a Merchant Guzman de Alfarache layes a witty plot how to rob him WIth a great deale of attention and admiration had Sayavedra all this iourney tyed mine eares to his tongue And during the rest of the vvay till vvee reacht to Milan vvee vvere neuer out of matter but kept the ball still vp hee tossing one tale to me and I returning another to him so that our Discourse neuer made a fault but vvas being both good Players vvell maintaind and kept vp betweene vs. But I had a great contradiction in my selfe and could hardly bee brought to beleeue that men of noble birth Sonnes of such vvorthy Parents should suffer themselues to bee thus violently haled by their Passions that forgetting the respect due to their bloud and Gentry the remembrance vvhereof should cause them to goe on in an honourable and ciuill course of life doe notwithstanding commit base and infamous actions by robbing others of their goods and honours for in very truth hee that lofeth his vvealth loseth both the one and the other for euery man is so farre forth esteemed and honoured as hee is rich and vvealthy Whereupon I said secretly to my selfe surely if Sayavedras father left him so rich as hee himselfe reporteth hee did how comes it quoth I to passe that hee is turned thiefe and that hee takes more pleasure to follow this lewd kinde of life and to endure these shamefull affronts then to liue in esteeme and reputation in his owne Countrey If vvee doe ill vvee therefore doe it because it carries a faire appearance vvith it and shewes vnto vs a certaine shadow or a kinde of resemblance of some goodnesse or other but in suffering such indignities as hee hath done there is no hope thereof no colour at all for it But I presently recall'd this rash censure and sodainly taking vp my selfe I fell to excusing of him and began vpon better deliberation to say with my selfe It may bee hee went from home being a childe as I did And so considering the relation that hee had made vnto mee mine owne proper steppes represented themselues vnto mee and those lewd courses that my selfe had runne But I afterwards came againe to my selfe and said But suppose all this to bee true vvhich hee hath said Why did hee not turne ouer a new leafe vvhen hee had the vse of reason and came to bee a man taking vpon him the profession of a Souldier He might answere likewise for himselfe and say Why did not I so to I see a more in another mans eye and cannot behold the beame that is in mine owne Military Profession is a pleasing thing and hath many motiues to draw a mans affection thereunto They haue good pay they passe well enough with it it teacheth a man hardnesse it maketh him to forget his dainty fare at home and boldly to aduenture his life to winne honour and to doe his Countrey seruice But they pay dearly for it they haue too hard a bargaine of iâ—… it is a kinde of taking vp of money at extreame rates and excessiue interest for to satisfie a debt of lesser value They must serue long before they can come to any thing rise betimes in the morning watch all night haue his shoulders pincht with the heauy weight of a Musquet stand Centinell for the space of full foure houres and two at the least when hee is Centinela perdida without budging or mouing but a foote from that place where they haue once set him let it raine thunder or lighten neuer so fast freze snow or blow the windes neuer so hard let the weather be as sharpe as sharpe may be all is one he must stand to his tackling And when hee hath done all this like a souldier and a braue fellow when hee shall returne home safe to his lodging not reckoning those that miscarry by this meanes hee hath not so much as a Candle to light him to bed nor fire to dry either his wet or frozen carcasse nor bread to put in his mouth nor wine to wash downe those crummes being hunger-staru'd all mire and dirt all to bee rent and torne but not a ragge of comfort And therefore considering the hard life that a Souldier leades and how ill they are rewarded hazarding their owne liues to saue other mens I doe not much blame Sayavedra that hee did not turne Souldier But for his elder Brother SenÌ„or Iuan Marti or Mateo Luxan leauing him to make choyce of one of the two as shall stand best with his Worships liking who was of age sufficient when his father died for to discerne betwixt ill and good who had a good house to put his head in and good meanes to maintaine it and to haue liu'd richly and plentifully and in good reputation and credit in his owne Country what a Diuell mou'd him or what hellish temptation came into his minde to neglect his owne busines and so foolishly thrust himselfe to intermeddle in other folkes matters and to fall at last to stealing of cloakes How much better would it haue beene for him to haue employd his person in some honourable entertainment or other Hee was a good Gramarian hee had studied the Lawes and might if hee would himselfe haue easily come to be a Doctor But happely these and the like doe thinke That there needs no more to make a thiefe then to say I will be a thiefe And that all shall succeed as happily with them as themselues could wish it But in good sooth I must beate them out of this errour and plainly tell them That there is more in it then so That it will cost them no small labour and withall they must incurre a great deale of danger Besides I cannot well tell you whether or no there be so many rules amongst the Lawyers as he needs to haue who meanes to proue a good thiefe indeed For say that there be two in a Towne that emulate one another and contend for the victorie and that the one after a great deale of strife and stiffe standing out will at last
otherwise might chance to receiue some scandall I was pressing this argument a little more home vnto him but he interrupted me and answered thus vnto me Sir hath not you worship oft heard say En cada tierra su vso Euery Country hath his custome This goes currant here and that in Italy And that other I am sure is not vnknowne vnto you Cada loco en su casa sabe mas que el cuerdo en el agena Euery foole is wiser in his owne house then a wise man is in anothers Whereunto I replyde If here bee no better Law then this and if people shall suffer them-selues to bee gouerned in this manner I know well enough what I say I tell you plainly I like not of it nor can I by any meanes approue it And to this end it is also said Al mal vso quebrarle la pierna A bad Custome is better broken then kept The legs of it are to be broken that it may not stand any more in force A holy good and iust Law ought to be grounded on reason I am of your minde said mine Hoste but they that are more learned then I am would peraduenture giue you better satisfaction then I can Yet in my opinion it seemeth to carry some force with it and I am verily perswaded that that which moued them to make this Law vvas not that a vvidow might not marry but that being a vvidow shee might not liue in vvant and to take away all occasion left for lacke of conuenient maintenance according to the condition of her qualitie she might fayle in her obligation and vse that ill vvhich vvas instituted for good so that the fault is the vvomans though the punishment be the mans This mine honest Hoste did not halfe satisfie me vvith this as he thought his sound reason vvhereupon I entred into a discourse thinking vvith my selfe vvhat kinde of creatures these vvomen be vvho if you leade them by euill vvayes they turne euill if by good worse and neuer shall you come to know vvhat to make of them They are the making or the marring of their house The establishers or the destroyers thereof In their running they trip and in going they fall And therefore their name sutes vvell vvith their nature being for this cause called Woman because she is a vvoe to man She hath a smooth skinne but a harsh nature a soft tongue but a hard heart silken vvords but sowtage deeds They seemed me thought vnto me pardon the coursnes of my comparison to be like vnto straw vvhich if you let it stand in the field in its naturall place without laying it in such rooms vvhere it ought to be kept it is preserued by the vvinde and raine but if you restraine and straiten it clapping it vp close in some little priuate lodging it will shoote it selfe out and breake through the walls nor shall you reape any other good of it then that sowre iuice which it will yeeld you like vnto that of the sowre Orange affording much bitternesse but no benefit They know not how to keepe a meane in their actions and lesse in their loue or hate Nor euer yet could they vse a moderation in their crauings and desirings That much which they receiue they thinke it still too little and that little which they giue they alwaies thinke it too much They are generally couetous yet notwithstanding all these faults naked is that house where there is neuer a wife All will reele where the Reele goes not Where there is neuer a white apron there is no good order the meat ill drest and the table sluttish As the breath of man doth vphold houses that they runne not to ruine and decay so the steps of a well gouernd huswife doth preserue and multiply wealth And as a good Chine of Bacon makes glorious porrige and as a man becomes the streets so doth a woman adorne the house But this is not a place to treat of their vertues I come vnto mine owne which at that time were more then the vertues of Tobacco I continued a while discoursing with mine Host who made me a la ge relation of many things concerning that Citie as of its priuiledges and liberties from which conuersation of his I receiued so much content and was so attentiue to his talke that I would haue forgone any other intertainment to haue inioyed this his pleasing discourse I may thanke my sinnes that had brought me thither I had taken an extreame cold in the Galley which I was not yet well rid of and finding my head stâ—…t I pluck't a handkercher out of my pocket and blew my nose which I hâ—…d no sooner pull'd thence but I opened it and look't thereupon as if that Oyster had afforded me a pearle it being the manner and fashion of that Countrey so to doe contrarie to the rule of good manners being a no lesse slouenlie then common tricke amongst them The crafty Rogue mine Hoste perceiuing why I did it and that I made as it were a scâ—…ffe of their customes being a good speaker as hee was a proper handsome fellow and a pleasant speaking in a low voyce and nodding his head towards me softly said vnto me Flie Sir flie Hide your selfe as soone as you can Quickly quickly I say Poore and miserable man that I was O these his words how ill did they sound in mine eares O how my heart was scorcht with them like the Partridge that is first singed in the fire and afterwards to be put presently on the spit My feathers were singed and my pride abated Hee had scarce made an end of his words when at two leapes I had got me behinde the curtaines of the bed He being ignorant of my villanies thought that I had done this innocently and out of simplicitie as being startled with the sodainnesse thereof and so instantly breaking out into a loud laughter he merrily said vnto me I perceiue Sir you are not troubled with the Gout by my faith Sir you are a nimble actiue Gentleman your Worship may now come forth if you please as God would haue it it is nothing the storme is past the coast cleare and you may safely shew your selfe vpon the hatches I came forth from thence as pale as ashes my colour was quite gone and death appeared in my face and did much wonder at my selfe considering the gâ—…eat feare and peâ—…turbation I then was in that the sodaine astonishment and the affâ—…ight iâ—… had put me into had not made me to leap out of the window into the street I came out at last but whether more amazed or ashamed I cannot tell you but I sought to dissemble it the best I could that I might not raise vp that dust which might chance to put out mine eies Being now come againe to my selfe I ask't him what was the mysterie of this and what he meant by it I pray
What a bad night must we needs make of this hauing to doe with so many For if Duero did compasse me in on the one side PenÌ„atajada did girt me in on the other But when my hat was come to its colour that I had considered a little better on the businesse I said with my selfe If this poore tricke not for any great hurt that it did doe me but only for that it was a tricke put vpon me I can thus hardly digest and that it makes my stomacke to rise as oft as I thinke vpon it how will my kinde kindred in Genoa digest those gudgeons that they swallowed how brooke that famous iest which sticks so close to their ribs If such a toy as this a meere trifle not worth the talking of moue my patience so much how would it haue wrought vpon me had it beene a matter of momeÌ„t Thus did I passe away the night thinking one while on 〈◊〉 another on that what I should do with my selfe the next day how bestow my time what cloathes I should weare or whether I were best to put on my great chaine which I kept in store for high Holy-dayes and great Feasts â—…hat part of the Towne I should quarter out what words I should speake to moue her affection or what present I should send her to oblige her vnto me Then throwing all these things out of my minde as if they had neuer beene in my thought I should runne by and by backe againe like a giddy-headed Spaniel beating and questing vpon the old haunt saying to my selfe If it should be my good hap to meet with this young crafty harlotry to morrow what shall I doe vnto her Shall I lay hands on her No Shall I take that from her which shee filcht out of my pocket Neither What shall I do then Shall I craue her better acquaintance and desire her friendship Least of all Embracing therefore none of these I aduised with my selfe and said Why should I trouble my selfe to seeke after her To what end I know the goodnes of her hand already and how quicke nimble her fingers be be it for Virginall Harpe or any thing else that you will put them to Let her go God be her good speed and much good may it doe her with them Allase lo aya Marta consus pollos I could wish they had beene more for her sake Well may shee thriue with them For if shee had not stood in need of them and beene in want I assure my selfe shee would neuer haue put her-selfe to so much danger I began to looke a litle better into my selfe and when I had well considered what I was and knew mine owne condition and the courses that I had run I whispered my selfe in the eare and said What complaints will not the butcherly Wolfe frame against the poore silly Lambe accusing him of troubling the water when he caâ—…e to drinke that he might pick a hole in his coat A lusty strong Mâ—…le can hardly carry the gold the siluer the pearle the pretious stones and the iewels which I had parloynd and come cleare away with them out of Italy and yet sticke not to finde fault with this poore soule for a thing of nothing that shee tooke from me being perhaps vrged thereunto out of meere necessitie O the miserable condition of men how apt and how easie are we to complainâ—… O how much a doe doe we make about a little How take on as though we were vndone What a little losse and what a deale of lamentation O the immense and infinite goodnes of God! How much do we offend thy diuine Maiestie How little reckoning do we make of it and yet how easily dost thou forgiue vs our offences What vassalage and base subsection is that which men doe yâ—…eld to their owne passions And because the best of things is the curbing of them and to make vse of them in their time and place I know very well and am able from thence to reade this lecture both to my selfe and others That we ought to haue as much compassion of those that offend as we haue cause to enuie those that forgiue For mine owne part I will follow this lesson Let her make herselfe merry therefore with the money shee got from me for I forgiue her with all my heart Now whilest I was thus discoursing with my selfe the day began to breake The light by little and little had crept in through some chinkes of the windowes when together with it a little sleepe likewise came creeping vpon my selfe being willing to haue my senses clogg'd with those soft-lined fetters in which I lay fast till nine of the clocke and slept so soundly that I could not say This mouth is mine Nor was I so glad that I had slept so well as that I found my selfe thereby the better disposed to watch the night following without being bound to pay that debt to nature when my game was at the fairest if fortune should chance to fauour me so much as to offer me a faire occasion to finish what I had begun I rose vp well satisfied wishing the houre were come wherein I might goe to that desired place I made me ready and went to Masse and visited the Image of our Lady of Pilar which is one of the greatest deuotions that is in Christendome I spent that day in walking vp and downe I saw my Widow who came to the window to wash her hands I could haue wisht that those drops of water which fell from her snowie fingers would haue trickled downe vpon my heart to see if they would haue beene able to quench the fire that flamed in my breast I had not the face to speake a word to her No not so much as God saue you I stood leaning against the corner of a wall putting my selfe in a good handsome posture looking on her with a wanton eye a cheerefull looke and a smiling countenance And shee likewise smilde and talking with her seruants who attended there on her after shee had washt they carryed away the towell the bason and the ewer which when they had set them aside they put their heads out at the window and lookt vpon me I hauing receiued this fauour thought I had now brought my businesse to an end I stretcht out my legs and my brest and lifting vp my head and bearing vp my necke somewhat stiffe I made two or three short turnes throwing one corner of my cloake ouer my shoulder setting my hat on t'one side laying my left hand on my sword and resting the right on my side treading my steps in state and turning my rolling eyes vpon her I walk't ley surely before her window my eye being neuer off on her Whereat they laugh't a good and I rested well contented They made themselues merry and I was very well pleased I assumed so much libertie to my selfe and behaued my selfe so boldly as if I had already
it be not to their minde and fitted as they would haue it all is nothing nor will they want one excuse or other and two false witnesses to worke a diuorce And besides other so many inconueniences if it so fall out that a mans wife being any thing faire and beautifull and that some one or other happen to fall in loue with her but here I will be silent say no more I could wish that the Aduocates Notaries and Iudges or such Courts would open their eyes and consider well with them-selues that that which they doe therein is no other thing then to dissolue a matrimonie and to open a doore to the Deuill that he may enter in first to the losse of the wifes life secondly to the husbands honor and lastly to both their vndoings And I dare assure them in the name of that all-powerfull and mighty God of heauen earth that a most grieuous punishment shall be powred downe vpon them from aboue which shall pay them home and make the smart thereof intolerable I would haue them therefore to know that these are secret sins and that the plagues that shall come vpon them shall be also secret Nor because the husband hath slasht his wife ouer the face giuen her a whores marke or hath beaten her like a slaue with a cudgell let these men thinke that this sin shall escape without punishment for the chastisement is then inflicted vpō them when another taketh away his wife from him God so permitting it When he shall see his house full of dissention infamie sicknesses let him lay it to his soule conscience that these come for this cause I speake not to one but to all let them put their hand in their bosome and take them-selues by the sleeue as well those that are the occasioners as they that are the fauourers thereof for they all saile in one and the same ship and the fault is alike in both and therefore are to looke for the like punishment Doest thou not see how on the wedding day all things go trim and tricksie what a troope attends vs at our heeles what a deale of kinde care paines euery man takes from the bridegroome to the guests how contented they are and how well pleased with their entertainment the tables couered with neat and pure linnen the boords furnished with dainty fare the bed handsomly made vp the sheets fine sweet all the rest of the furniture answerable thereunto all then was delicate delightfull vnto vs. And thus it lasted with vs for a while But now that my moneys are gone that our gallantry begins to goe downe and that things go not so well with vs as they were wont to do the teat with-drawes its milke and the loue of many yeeres as if it were a mortall sin is lost in a moment It is like to succeed with them as it did with me who was quite vndone not out of any insufficiencie in my selfe or want of care and paines-taking for I had wit enough and knew how to manage my affaires with good iudgement But I miscarried for the reasons I told you but a litle before This was Gods handy-work his chastisement was vpon me For as he is infinite so hath he no circumscription his power is not bounded his arme not limited to punish this man for this and that other for that In some things he pronounceth a set determinate sentence for such a particular sin such a penalty appointed besides others which appertaine vnto the soule as also those that arise out of such such circumstances Mine was ill gotten gaine therfore could not thriue with me Malè parta malè dilabuntur Ill got ill spent Now when a woman is married to a man and afterwards findes her-selfe deceiued for that her husband proues not so rich as he was reported to be those goods that he hath being other mens and taken vp vpon credit likewise that when he was to be married he ran farther in debt for the apparelling setting forth of his wife and that within a few dayes after the Mercer comes to demand his money for the silks he had of him the Taylor for the making vp of the cloathes and that the Sargeants be on the backe of him both for the one and the other there is not any thing wherewith to pay them if there be yet meat is more necessarie then the payment of debts For whosoeuer goes without the belly must be serued though we could cozen all the world besides the belly will not be cozened He will daily importune vs we must daily satisfie him It is a debt of nature that must needs be paid It admits no forbearance it is a commandement without controlment it is a rule without exception When it comes to this the peacock hangs downe his taile as soone as he lookes vpon his feet The pride of his starrie traine begins to flag and his hoarse trumpet shrikes out his pitifull complaints The flowers then begin to wither their pleasant spring is past contentment patience betake them to their heeles They presently set a sowre face on the matter like him that hath tasted sharp vinegar And if you shall aske them then what they haue how they doe how their husbands vse them how like of mariage In stead of an answer you shall haue them stop their noses it is fish of foure dayes old it is too stale and begins to stinke They will not endure the mouing of this stone and will therefore tell you by some scuruy silent gesture or other Speake no more of him for Gods sake let the man alone doe not stir the turd that stinks too much already let vs talke of some other subiect But how can thy Lazarus deare wife being dead in his sins otherwise chuse but stinke and lament his hard misfortune being buried in the graue of thy miseries from whence I shall neuer be raised vp againe to life Doth he not lye intombed in the darke and strong sepulchre of thy vaine thoughts and in that hollow vault of thy noysome clamours and pestilent importunities Is he not shrowded in the winding sheet of thy loue tyed to thy contents Which he striues all that he can to giue thee be it by hooke or by crooke with the expence of his purse or the hazard of his person hauing my hands bound showing that I submit my selfe as humbly to thy subiection as thou good wife wert thou good should submit thy selfe to mine He that hath charge of a wife and familie let him hold his tongue he cannot be at leysure to talke he hath something else to doe he must employ him-selfe in making prouision to supply necessarie wants and perhaps is in want through thee and is come to all this misery by thy meanes Doe not thou then complaine that he stinks seeing that he is putrified with thy impertinencies finding him-selfe thrust in
and his linnen cleanely and handsomly washt with sope and in a word shee maintaynd him well out of our meanes for it was our and not her purse that paid for it In conclusion such kinde of women as these are preiudiciall vntamable notable lurchers arrant theeues farre worse then that souldiers boy who playd the wagg-pasty with his Masters pastie and of eight Marauedis made twelue For hee opened the lid of the pastie that it was not to be perceiued and supt vp all the sirrop and sweetnesse that was in it Afterwards his Master sending him for wine he kept the eight Marauedis that were giuen him to him-selfe and sold the Iarre for foure presently comming crying home vnto him and telling him that the Iarre brake by the way and all the wine was spilt There neuer came a quarter of mutton into the house but that by little and little we lost a fifth part of it and with it the kidney saying That for the deuotion which shee bare to the blessed Saint Zoilo shee would not boyle that part so that the kidneyes neuer came to our share they fell to her sweet-hearts lot But he was not so deuoted vnto her as to offer her all that he had There was not any thing that we had whereof he had not a part nay sometimes all saying I put it here it stood there but now the Cat hath eaten it some body or other hath taken it away and a thousand such excuses to serue her turne stealing and filching from vs at her pleasure But will you peraduenture seeke to restraine these theeues to limit them to keep them within their bounds or to hinder them in any thing contrary to their liking It is impossible to doe it Speake but a word vnto them that doth not please them there is not a house in all that street not a shop a tauerne nor an ouen where shee will not make a large relation of your life reckning vp all the miracles done by you painting you out to be a wretched and vnfortunate man base-minded a crib a hunger-staru'd whore-sonne a miserable wretch of an ill condition a grumble-seede one that is still murmuring that a Hen cannot lay an egge but you must be prying into her nest that you must haue an eye to the skimming of the pot that you will tye your bacon to a string and put it into the kettle amongst other meat a fourth part whereof shall serue you a whole weeke taking it out one day and putting it in another making thy meale of one poore morsell to make it hold out the longer Will you turne her out of doores and take another you shall not finde any that will come at you and so you must be forced to serue your selfe for shee that is gone from you will tell her that is to come vnto you what a manner of man you are what an ill life shee led with you and for what cause shee quit her-selfe of your seruice In a word hee that will be serued by them must winke at all their faults must make no replyes and besides must let them doe what they lift let them haue their owne will and yet that will scarce content them I remember that before I was marryed I receiued a maid-seruant into my house and for that shee was a beastly filthy slut an idle drone and altogether vnfit for seruice I turn'd her away after shee had beene some three dayes with me Then I tooke another who seemed to be in good health when shee came vnto me but falling sicke of her old disease shee onely continued with mee two dayes and went backe againe to the Hospitall from whence shee came Presently after I had a third a neat seruant but a great theefe for willing her to roste me a Conie shee cuts it in peeces and stues it and brought onely to the table the head the leggs and the wings disposing of the rest as shee thought good for which roguery of hers shee stayd with mee onely that day and the next morning I put her away When my neighbours saw that I had three seruants in six dayes and that euery one of them went away mumbling their mattens and murmuring at mee a bad report went of mee they laid a hundred faults to my charge and did discredit my sernice in that shamefull and vile manner that for some twenty dayes after I was faine to take my dyet in a common victualing â—…ose For no woman would be drawne to my house by reason of the euill speech that was giuen of mee till such time as a friend of mine brought mee one that was worse then all the rest for shee would be in loue with euery body and denie none that would aske her the question Not any Stallion that came amisse to her Shee was a wheele that was easily to be turned with euery hand I would presently haue put her away but I durst not for feare of being ill spoken of by my neighbours And I tell you the truth For this cause I held it the lesser inconuenience of the two to leaue my house and to hyre me another in some other street that was farther off keeping her till then with mee before I would dismisse her And so I did If you were at home shee would be abroad if you were abroad shee would be at home If â—…ee haue nothing to doe shee will call to you for flaxe and if you giue it her shee will say you are miserable and too great a husband And neither of these are without their mysterie But this I leaue to your coniecture And how can you imagine them to be otherwise then ill disposed in their persons when as there is not any Gouernesse especially amongst these your Schollers which is not branded with the like basenesse These kinde of creatures would not conuerse with all nor yet filch from all they would haue little or nothing to doe with your young idle fellowes that lye loytring in the market-place nor with your Lackayes nor steale from some though they found it lying before them vpon the ground I did not make any reckoning of it nor did it trouble me so much to see that they rob'd me of my goods or that they were neuer without one sweet-heart or other that still haunted their companie though I was not willing to giue way to any such things in my house as that they went about to rob me of my iudgement and my vnderstanding and to depriue me of my senses for with lyes and teares they would seeke to grace and countenance their villanies so that though the truth thereof appeared vnto me as cleare as noone day and that with these eyes I plainely perceiued their rogueries their knaueries and all their wicked shifts and deuices yet they would force mee whether I would or no and contrary to mine owne knowledge to hold their conuersation and their cariage to be good and honest A man must suffer much at their hands euen at all
my weaker vnderstanding were all broken and so strangely split and shiuered in sunder that there is no hope of euer setting them together againe Now our Loues went on amaine the fauours afforded me great the hopes not small for it was left to my choice whether I would haue her to wife or no. Let vs now my masters change places and let him that is the wisest amongst you take mine let him be shut vp as I was in Loues strongest prison let him haue such iust cause as I had to yeeld my selfe captiue vnto him let him be croft and thwarted in his designes all things conspiring together to hinder the execution of his desires then let him sit downe and giue me counsaile For that is the man that I would hearken vnto I knew no better meanes for my good I left all other for this for that I thought this would be my best remedy Her mother offered me her house and with it all that she had Shee was a woman that had good credit in her kind of trading and had good and quicke returnes she gained wherewithall to maintaine both the backe and the belly she made exceeding much of me shee was ready vpon all occasions to serue me I could not imagine more kindnesse then she was willing to doe me she kept me neat sweet and handsome and made that reckning and respect of me as Lord and Master of all I thought this world would still haue lasted I sought to auoid the venome of euill tongues but all in vaine for they had raised that already of me which if it had beene true perhaps I might not haue miscarried Pardon me Gentlemen I am now a married man and there is no more to be said of it Is not this an ill accompt which I haue giuen you of so many yeares studies so much good learning and being vpon the point of taking Orders and to attaine to some degree in Schooles that I might at least haue beene able to haue read another day Lectures in the open Schooles as publike Professor and Doctor of the Chayre which might haue beene easie for me to haue done considering the good conceit they had of me And being come now to the height of all my labours and paines-taking and when I was to haue receiued the reward of them and to take mine ease after all this toyle the stone rolled downe and I was forced like Sisiphus to beginne the world anew and to fall afresh to my worke Doe thou therefore consider that now which I then so often thought vpon O how often doth God put a spoake in our wheele How doth he crosse our designes making them to proue vaine and fruitlesse For the Altar being now made ready the wood laid vpon it and vpon it Isaac the sword drawne out the arme lifted vp on high and now letting it fall to strike the stroke euen then and not till then was it hindred in its execution O Guzman why didst thou sit vp so late anights to thy booke Why wast thou so diligent at thy studies Why didst thou rise so early in the mornings Why didst thou continue so long in the Schooles So many Acts so many Degrees so many pretensions as thou hadst now on foot what is become of them all what good will they doe thee I haue already told you that the courses which I tooke in my childhood came to end in the carrying of a basket and now these of my more manly years to make their mansion in an Inne or common Victualling-house And God grant my troubles may here haue an end and that my foot may be once fixed CHAP. V. Guzman de Alfarache leaues off his studies he goes to liue at Madrid hee carries his wife with him from whence they were both banished HAuing â—…apt from a Bachelor of Diuinity into the degree of a Master of prophane Loue it is now to bee supposed that I am become a Licentiat and hauing already so farre proceeded therein I may with your good licence as a true professor thereof be permitted to speake so much as I know concerning the same For out of the good experience that I haue had thereof I dare boldly boast my selfe to be one of the best Proficients that was euer bred vp in the Schoole of Loue. If we should goe about to define it so many hauing said so much of it it were but to repeat that Lesson which hath already beene said ouer a thousand times and more Loue then is Totum in toto all in all And so contrary in its effects that the more we say thereof the lesse we shall be vnderstood Yet will wee shoote one arrow amongst the rest that haue endeuoured to hit this marke and say something of that whereof so many haue spoken Loue is the prison of Folly borne of Idlenesse bred vp by Selfe-will and Money and maintained with Filthinesse Vncleannesse and Dishonesty It is the excesse of a bruitish and beastly desire most subtill and piercing making its way through the eyes to the heart It is that poysoned shaft deliuered from the hand of the Archer which neuer stayes till it come to its Center It is a guest whom with a great deale of earnestnesse we our selues inuite but being once receiued into our house is not so easily put out It is a childe that longs for euery thing it sees fantasticall and full of Apish trickes it is an old doting foole feeble and decrepit It is a sonne that will not pardon his owne father and a father which will mis-vse his owne sonne It is a God that hath no mercie a secret enemie a feigned friend a blind but sure shooter weake to vndergoe any paines and yet as strong as Death He obserues no law nor is he gouerned by reason he is impatient suspitious iealous reuengefull and a sweet tyrant They paint him blind because he keepes neither meane nor measure distinction or election order or counsaile constancy or modesty but euermore erres They giue him wings to show his lightnesse in apprehending that which is beloued by vs by which he bringeth vs to an vnfortunate end So that onely he that goes blindly to worke speeds best and he that lightly wooes likely winnes the wench And though these and such as these bee the effects of Loue yet for to bring them to passe ere euer we can execute them he will that we shall want patience in our hopes feare in the hazarding of our persons wit in our words modesty in our demands iudgement in making our choyce a bridle to restraine our inconsiderate actions and consideration to free vs from dangers I fell in loue at the first sight I was taken with a looke the darts that flew from forth those her eyes comming so thicke and with that force vpon mee that I presently yeelded thereupon and became her Captiue Nor was transcursion of time needfull in this case as some would necessarily inferre which affirmation of theirs I hold to bee an
or pleasure that wee take in that good which wee in our imagination figure and fashion to our selues is caused in vs. For in regard that wee know not or to speake in a truer kinde of language will not hinder the course thereof nor make any resistance against it as also in respect of the corruption of our nature debilitie of our reason captiuitie of our liberty and the weaknesse of our forces dazled if not blinded with this light wee want wings to flye from it and like men that are hood-winkt runne headlong on to our owne ruine it seeming decent and fitting for vs to yeeld our selues presently thereunto as to a thing that is naturall vnto vs. And this is so proper vnto man as light is to the Sunne cold to Snow heat to Fire as it is to heauy things to descend and to those that are ayrie to ascend without giuing way to the vnderstanding or any power to free-will who inioying their priuiledges might exercise their office which are now in subiection to the Will which remaines now no more free so that in stead of making resistance wee furnish the enemie with weapons against our selues Iust so doth it succeed with Reason and Understanding in regard of the Will For whereas in that first age whilest wee stood in the state of innocency they were absolute Lords and like Kings had all things vnder their subiection and did conserue and keepe in peace all that fayre and goodly fabricke After mans first sinne they remained slaues and were made obedient to the Will and forced to become the ministers and executioners of this her cruell Tyranny So that now our passions and affections hauing got the vpper-hand and wee being furthered and led along with a blinde and depraued vnderstanding and hungring and thirsting after our owne lustfull appetites wee doe inconsiderately debase our manly brests bowing them to the ground to lappe of those waters which may please the palate of our lustfull pleasures Wee flye like hooded Falcons one while towring to the vppermost Regions of the ayre another while taking through the thickest woods ignorant of any future danger nor fearing the assured mischiefe that must light vpon vs. So that few doe stand vpon this distance of time which is set before them neyther doe they preuise or prouide for after-claps or if they would Loue will not suffer them so to doe so impatient is this littlegreat-God of delayes And these the like effects did he worke vpon me I was now turn'd marryed man the second time and so well and happily to mine owne liking and content that I did verily perswade my selfe Que nunca por mi se començara el toçino del parayâ—…o That I should neuer haue fallen from so great a happinesse and that I should still haue continued the happiest man in the world I did not then consider with my selfe nor did it once enter into my imagination that this holy Ordinance ordayned by God in Paradise I should solely and wholly haue sought after it for the seruice and glory of God the augmentation of his Church and the continuation of mine owne Species or kinde by a lawfull meanes of succession But these were the least of my thought I did meerly intend mine owne pleasure and delight It was her beauty and not my duty that I minded Much lesse did I giue place to the Understanding that hee might aduise mee to to that which hee knew was best for mee nor indeed was I willing to hearken to his good counsaile I did shut mine eyes against those things that should haue done me good I did put Reason away from mee I ill intreated Truth for shee told mee that marrying with a fayre woman many cares must necessarily offer them-selues vnto mee for feare shee should become common In conclusion being ill aduised I pursued to please mine owne humour an ill-desired-good I was blinded with those her naturall gifts and bewitched with her grace and beauty things as proper to my Spouse as they were without any artifice or dawbing Hee erres who thinkes that any thing can seeme well that is an artificiall composition or a borrowed beauty for this fayre tincture that is giuen to the face is but a false and counterfeit plaistring and when that dawbing is taken off that foulnesse that was there before returnes afresh and becomes more fowle I liu'd as merrily as the day was long And hee that is not blest with a Mother-in-law knowes not what a blessing he wants Shee vs'd mee as if I had beene her owne sonne seeking by all meanes possible how shee might please me and giue me content There was not any Guest that brought a good morsell of meat into the house whereof I had not a part And if it came not in that wayes why then her purse should pay for it buying the best the market would afford And as my wife brought me but a small dowry so did shee take vnto herselfe the lesse liberty of speech and had the lesse cause to put me to vnnecessary and superfluous expence and to demand a thousand idle toyes of mee which chargeable fooleries your wiues that bring great portions too-too often put their husbands vnto Shee was young and so young that I easily wrought her to mine owne will and could bowe and bend her which way I list my selfe It was a pretty flexible foole and was willing to be rul'd by mee I had got me kinsfolke who thought them-selues much honoured and graced by my person because they knew I was euery way superiour vnto them For hee that shall linke him-selfe in alliance with those that are of greater ranke and qualitie then him-selfe shall neuer lacke Lords to serue Iudges to feare and Princes to whom hee must pay perpetuall tribute But my Mother-in-law was tributary to me my Sister-in-law was my slaue my Spouse did adore me and all the house did serue mee Neuer at any time as now was I so free from taking thought for any thing or from the troubles and cares of this world For I thought vpon nothing but eating drinking and sleeping and to passe away the time merrily without being subiect to anothers controlment nor lyable to any payments not so much as the value of one farthing eyther for house-rent or to the King All did dance after my pipe and did foot it as I would haue them But this dance was the blinde-mans Measure and my selfe that led them was the blindest amongst them They say of Circes that inticing strumpet that with her wicked sorceries and diuellish inchantments she turned those men into beasts with whom shee conuersed Some shee turned into Lyons others into Wolues Boares Beares Serpents and other the like bruitish shapes but withall left them their vnderstanding quicke and souud for in that particular shee did not touch them But this other whore which is our blinde Will takes a cleane contrary course for leauing vs the formes of men
the keeping and disposing of the vpper-Wards and the best lodgings they giue him that intertainment as his purse shall deserue For that Keeper or Iaylor does like him that buyes who has no respect to the qualitie of him that sels but to the thing that he selleth so to him it matters not whether the prisoner be more one then another Noble or base Gentleman or Clowne all is one for that He lookes onely vnto that which he giues him When his Commitment is not a matter of importance nor meriting corporall punishment and is not of that heinous nature as murder theft the foule sinne and other such like they leaue him at large to take the pleasure of the prison alwayes prouided that they pay him well for this his liberty I was well vs'd at the first for my cause was not criminall and handsomely lodg'd before that I had giuen securitie either to satisfie or answer to that debt wherewithall I was charged By this time they all knew me and all of vs vnderstood one another well inough we were all Camerades and hayle fellow well met one with another I gaue them content and stayd below amongst them talking and passing away the time with them but had euermore an eye to see if I could safely get to the doore and stood still watching an opportunitie when I might conueniently doe it and so giue them the slip But vpon my first apprehending as soone as I was come within sight of the prison as also after that I was committed there presently flockt about mee twenty seuerall Proctors Attourneys and Sollicitours who liu'd by the sinnes of the people who with their pen and Paper which they neuer went without tooke both my name and the cause of my imprisonment all of them making it a matter of nothing and an easie suite to goe through with One of them would tell me that the Iudge was his very good friend and did fauour all the causes that he brought before him another that hee had a great interest in the publike Notary a third that within two houres he would get me bailed a fourth that my businesse was a toy a meere trifle a thing of no consideration in the world and that for sixe Royals hee would instantly vndertake to free mee Euery one of them would make himselfe Master of my cause saying that it did properly belong vnto him for that he had accompanied me come along with me from the time of my Arrest This man I intertained for his plea of preuention being vnwilling to crosse that Prouerbe of First come first seru'd Where-vpon I intreated him that hee would call such an Escriuano a friend of mine vnto me Another for that he was the first that put pen to paper and had drawne my Petition for mee to the Teniente But to my selfe I laught at them all For I knew them well inough and the manner of their proceeding For they onely liue by what they can get and wring from a man before-hand but afterwards you shall not draw them along with two yoke of Oxen they will so hang the Arse And there was one of them that hauing a Power or Warrant to free a Thiefe was not ashamed to aske him money for to make his Interrogatories after that he should be condemned to the Gallies Thus all of them striuing which of them should be imploy'd in my businesse there comes mee rushing in violently thorow the midst of them a very bold and confident fellow that thought to rule the rost and to carry all away before him one that had beene my Proctor heretofore in criminall causes and said vnto mee What Sir are you heere I told him yes Which question he might haue sau'd for he saw I was sure inough Then he askt me What was the cause of my imprisonment When I had told it him hee replyde Tush Laugh and be merry Sir take no care for this it is a toy a trifle I warrant you Sir wee will take order for this and therefore let it neuer trouble you Haue you any money Sir that I may carry it to the Escriuano I will poast presently with a Petition to the Teniente that you may put in Sureties to answere the matter and in the meane time to haue your libertie to follow your businesse And if he shall refuse to grant you prouision in this Case we will haue a Writ of remoue to bring the matter into the open Hall and those that assist there in Counsell shall presently giue order for your release I shall speake to one of them who is my singular good Lord and I dare pawne my word to you that you shall not tarry heere aboue halfe a day When the others heard this they said Ha how now what 's this is the winde in that doore Heere is a pretty kinde of forme of framing a Petition withall my heart Is this the course you meane to take Wee haue beene some twenty of vs and vpward these two long houres and better taking paines in this businesse and will you now take the same out of our hands Shall the hindermost dogge beare away the Hare Must he now follow the suite My Proctor there-vpon made them this answere My Masters had you beene writing and labouring about this businesse these two moneths and more yet not withstanding vpon my comming vnto him I am the man that must goe thorow with it For this Gentleman is my very good friend and I am to dispatch all his businesses And therefore a Gods name ye may be gone and let my Clyent alone When they heard him say so they replyde vnto him O what a sweet and seemely manner of negociating is this What a faire flourish does hee make Where has he washt his hands that hee should shaue vs on this fashion and carry away this cause so cleanely You may be gone Sir and it please you for this Gentleman knowes reason and will intertaine him in his cause that he hath most minde to and therefore what need so many words In conclusion one said I and the other said no and in the end they differr'd so long about it that they grew at last so hot and so angry one with another that they began to rip vp each others faults and to tell without any other bodies help who they were there was not that spot in their practice which they did not lay open to view nor that staine in their life which they did not discouer shewing how and in what manner they did coozen the poore prisoners and picke their money out of their purses Which was a Dialogue for those that heard it of excellent intertainment and passing good mirth for that they were truthes represented to the life And this I assure you is a common Trade amongst them and this coozening course they take at all houres and with all persons as well prisoners as others Now when this heat was ouer-past and all was quiet I came to my old Proctor