and reserv'd then by an impertinen babling to be the subject of others derision besides the danger of speaking that which may be questioned cannot be recall'd whereas Little said may be soon amended 3. Let it be rather free then affected for there is nothing acceptable of this sort that is not natural for a very clown in his own language comes off better then he that by a Romantick Bumbaste doth thunder-thump his hearer into an aequilibrium between scorn and wonder 3. Let it be rather wise then witty for much wit hath commonly much froth and 't is hard to jest and not sometimes jeer too which many times sinks deeper then was intended or expected and what was design'd for mirth ends in sadness 4. Let it be of that Virgin-parity which knows no stain of that which is obscene for if evil communications corrupt good manners 't is in nothing more then if they be filthy And as it is a double iniquity to talk filthily of what was done wickedly so is he justly condemned as vile whose discourse is obscoene because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh 5. Let not thy discourse be to deride the infirmities or natural imperfections of another For in this case what our Lord said to the accusers of the woman may be said to all He that is without sin let him throw the first stone There being no man that blames another but himself comes under the lash in some other kinde It being as natural for men to erre as to be and the purest Gold of upright men that ever we read extant had yet something of an allay And no doubt but thine own conscience will condemn thy self while thou art the sharp reprehender of anothers folly Besides it argues a dirty temper to be so Sive-like as to let pass the finer Flour and take pleasure onely to toss about the Bran and refuse which even the best Wheat is not without But to make a scoff of natural defects is to make a mock of the God of nature who acts nothing in vain or without its reason It might it may be be somewhat excusable for thee to deride the wants of another if thou hadst been the workman in thine own composure but while that thou wer't fearfully and wonderfully made and now canst not add one cubit to thy Stature So should anothers defects be the motive of thy thankfulness and not the object of thy laughter considering that thy perfection is the effect not of thine own care but the Divine goodness 6. Do not concern thy self in thy discourse with the publick management of affairs of State For it is a kinde of serious madness to interest our selves in the disposure of those things which are so much above us in the judgement whereof we are generally deceived It being the intent of States-men to reserve their designes conceal'd and study to appear what they least intend But shouldst thou be in the right thou art never like to be askt thy counsel and so all thy contrivance is but to make a man of clouts for thy self to play with But the humour of some is abominable to murmur at Authorities and please themselves in complaining of their Superiours Whereas 't is the principal part of subjection to submit our selves to the discretion of those that rule us and the first step to Rebellion is when instead of doing commands we dispute them The best way to prevent the evil effects of Government is not to quarrel with their actions but amend our own For as that Englishman answered seriously who when the English were driven out of France in the time of Henry the Sixth being upbraidingly askt by a Frenchman when they intended to return into France again said When your sins are greater then ours So will the removing of evil government when at any time God shall bring it be not the effect of thy murmur but repentance for which cause the Historian doth well reckon up evil Magistrates among the effects Divinae actionis as Famines and Pestilences which we cannot otherwise prevent but by repenting 7. But especially let not thy discourse intrench upon that veneration which is always due to the Divine Being his Attributes Ordinances and Words for as it argues a great profaneness not to dread him that ought to be feared who shakes not the earth onely but also heaven so can it be never safe to play with such edge-tools as cannot be unwisely used without danger or make a jesting business of that for which God hath said he will in no wise hold a man guiltless And verily it is a strange impiety our days are grown to whereby not onely as formerly men make a sport of jeering Godliness but they make no spare of jeering God himself and seem to know the Scriptures for no other end but to use them as Tennis-balls for recreation But if God be in heaven and thou upon the earth and therefore should thy words be few there 's a greater reason that they should be reverend My next advice should be for the choice of your Recreations wherein perhaps you may think advice is not so pertinent because trahit sua quemque voluptas and every man chuses recreation as he is inclin'd yet I suppose 't is not amiss to desire that here you should love with discretion and direct your thoughts that way from whence may if not the most of emolument yet certainly the least of damage ensue That you should not make your recreation your business nor as one quibled not unwittily your vacation your vocation I need not admonish Necessity hath impos'd that law upon you to work or not eat You being I hope of too much spirit to play the parasite and pitch up toyls to catch Dear in a platter But were it not so I should abhor the thought of your living uselesly and be like a Spunge which breeds no moisture but onely is squeez'd out of that which it extraneously contracteth And surely more despicable creatures the world bears not then those Gráshoppers and Butterflies which are onely imploy'd to sing away their time and buz about in the warm Sunshine Therefore in general such recreation is to be chosen as may relax or unbend the minde or body from their too intent devoires not such as may retund and weary them For which cause as I always thought that they would give a pitiful account of their time spent who sit up till midnight at Cards and Dice So had I never any fancie to those recreations which as they exercise not the body so they rather disturb then relax the minde Besides the provocation to passion and vain speaking whereby we highly displease God while we designe to please our selves Without doubt those recreations are best which mix pleasure and profit together For which cause the reading of History or Geography are not of the least note and proper for those whose trade as yours being for standing and motion of the body have a
heard him discourse of Philosophical and Theological controversies as much to my admiration as it was beyond what I did expect And I also observed that he did greatly vindicate himself from that contempt which his youth might subject him to by his accompanying with such persons as were esteemed wise for the world could not but conclude that he either was wise or would soon be so whose company was such And you will sinde this a rare advantage in conversing with knowing men that you will have at hand those who are able to advise you and willing too if you be but so to take it For there is a natural indulgence that every knowing person hath over those that are ignorant which makes them willing and ready to enlarge to them the relief of good counsel when they need it And if counsel be the strength of Kingdoms it can be of no less use in our private concerns if God give us an heart to ask and take it for when young men are advised by those like themselves giddy headed and precipitate which commonly they like best because it suits their humours they are intangled like young Rehoboam in those incumbrances whence they cannot explicate themselves by a too late repentance therefore take such for your companions who have already sow'd their wilde oats and are by long hunting grown too stanch to set an haunt by which means you 'll reap the benefit of their dear-bought experience and prevent your own But chiefly take care to fix upon such company who are persons studious of their reputations men not of a dirty and degenerous temper For some there are whom nature hath moulded up of the coursest clay whose not onely brains represent meer rubbish but their very dispositions are of those sordid faeces which give a tendencie to condescend to the most ignoble and abject things whence they 'll never think much howsoever vilely to abuse or betray you when as those who are of an elate and generous spirit have a natural reluctancie to those things which they judge unworthy and are hardly induc'd by the extremest necessity to comply with that which degenerate tempers never make dainty of And upon this account also never sort your self with such persons as are below you for as their reputations will not bear an equal ballance with yours so must yours be as much deprest as may make it even with theirs and so must your expences be as much beyond your own proportion as their quality is below that which you pretend to and they will have a confidence to slip their heads out of the collar and leave you to pay all as if they had done you a kinde of courtesie in acknowledging your superiority And 't is pretty to observe how such will claw the itch of your petty ambition with such titles of dignity as they think will please you till they have laid you in a sweat and made your pores open and you become melted to effund according to their humour But above all avoid such company as are given to drink for with whom are wounds without cause but with them that are mighty to drink strong drink The drunken man being fera humana specie and therefore such are as unfit for converse as she-Bears and Lyons who conscious of their own ferity walk alone while more mansuete Creatures associate themselves in Flocks and Herds Clitus slain by Alexander and an hundred more examples tell what a Devil is drink which if it raign any where in the possessed most it is in our own Country where they ply their business beyond compare and are computed to drink more Sack in a year then any other Nation doth in three And though the German did bear away the Bell for drinking yet it was rather long then much being content to pelt his enemy at a distance Whereas we are after the modern way of fight altogether for down-blows being impatient till the opposite have a total rout The drinking of Healths too being a designe like that of the servants of David and Saul at the Pool of Gibeon where they took each other by the Beards and every one smote his fellow under the fifth rib that they fell down together If therefore you love your body your soul your credit or your purse let such persons be imprison'd for the most part they are in the Tavern or Ale-house and do not you come neer them Neither let such be your associates as have been nefarious or have a brand of guilt upon them for judgement though it be slow yet 't is sure And though God have long patience yet he hath long hands too and reacheth the guilty at a great distance between the sin and the punishment which doth not seldom involve with it after the Persian mode their familiars too Neither do we read any other immediate cause of the death of Ahaziah then that he was in the company of King Joram then when God was executing judgement upon the house of Ahab In the sense of which story tells of St. John the Apostle that he run out of the Bath into which the Heretick Cerinthus came lest as Corah and his company he should be involv'd with him in the same judgement For which cause we read of that advice Come out of her my people and be ye not partakers of her sins lest ye be partakers also of her plagues But let such be your company as for whose sakes God may bless you also such as Joseph of whom 't is said Gen. 39.5 That after the time that Joseph was made overseer of Potiphars house that God blessed the Egyptian for Josephs sake and the blessing of the Lord was upon all that he had in the house and in the field And verily when we read that God would have spared five Cities for the sake but of ten persons Gen. 18. and that God did spare one of them for but the conveniencie of Lot Gen. 19.21 we cannot sufficiently take a seantling how far the interest of a good man doth impose upon the Almighty and what an advantage it is to have a share in their prayers who have so much of favour in the Court of Heaven But besides consider what a benefit it is to be conducted in the ways that are good by the splendor of the vertue of those that are our familiars to have such about us as shall be ready to say Come let us go up to the house of the Lord and present thee with motions of well-doing instead of those who shall play the Devils part and tempt thee to evil Now in thy conversation with thy familiars be advised in a few things 1. Let not thy friendship to them induce thee at any time to do that which is evil The saying of St. Augustine may well be applyed Amicus Plato amicus Cicero sed magis amicus Christus The greatest friendship is to be useful for heaven And where the highest relations wherein nature hath obliged us intrench upon
is the loss of our friend and a greater advantage Be also advised in all dealings of importance to manage them by Letter and not by Message which do so frequently forget or mistake that your business is made a quite different matter then 't was when you sent it But this should be especially observ'd when such answers are given as you may suspect may prove offensive for sent by the mouth of another there may be a word put in which may so inflame the sense as to make that intolerable which out of your mouth was directed with a passable contrivance And for the same reason 't is not good to take pet at any such returns as come at second-hand when you may be deny'd in some easie request for I sometimes have known when an answer hath been brought enough to divide the most intimate friends which when 't was inquir'd into prov'd no more to the minde of the party that sent it then George a Green to the man in the Moon And you 'll finde it as false to judge by report when the actions of men come under dispute For the misapprehensions of men not seldom distort and wring that out of joynt to make it most monstrous when the party that did it was candid in his thoughts And the prejudice of men adds so much to this score that they will have often a bunch for an horn and the matter is not much there to finde a knot where 't is before-hand resolv'd to finde it or make it Therefore as in matters of news I have always observ'd to make such an abatement as may bear a proportion with the faction of the relater so you 'll finde that as needful in the reports made of men for you may be sure that ill-will doth never speak well But because I spake before of treating by Letter you must be advised to be therein very wary because there is your hand as a witness against you so that as to matter of weight which may produce suit 't is not amiss to observe what is said of Tiberius Caesar That some of his Letters to the Senate were ex consulto ambiguae such as he intended should be interpreted not according to the plain words but the concernments of those whom he had to deal with For such words may be found out and so plac'd as shall amount to a promise in the apprehension of the Reader who is conscious of the matter you treat of which will not be so construed in the judgement of those who may come to take cognizance of the matter in question If God shall so bless you as that you live to serve out your time with such approbation of industry and faithfulness as shall manumit you with a good report 't will not be amiss to have by you some general advice concerning your setting up because God knoweth whether I shall then be alive to judge of those particular concerns which may induce or disswade it What I have therefore here first to advise you of is that you look upon this business as that which deserves much advice There being not a few who by their haste and precipitation in this affair have ruined their fortunes and while they have been weary of being servants have made themselves in a short time perpetual slaves to indigence and want For if having once set up you then miscarry it proves like the blasting of a young sprout which if not thereby utterly kill'd yet becomes so checkt and dejected that it never attains a fresh and flourishing condition after It concerns you therefore to look before you leap and not to be induc'd by the name of Master and a Shop to skip into that in haste from whence you will be shortly turn'd out with shame It hath been observ'd that they seldom prove well who set up young that age being for the most part precipitate and forwarder to do then to consider and also apt to pre-occupy the success of things by a too promising hope and like young Setters to set an Haunt instead of a Covie whereby they are many times grosly abused and erre at such a rate as admits of onely if any yet a difficult recovery Whereas those that like Bobbed Partridges have been rust in the net of deception by what they have observ'd at others charge are much more wary and cautelous of being again trapan'd Besides age doth give a natural allay like a Bartholomew-dew cooling the immoderate heat and rashness of younger years It is therefore taken notice of that young men do then prosper best when they have either served as Journey-men unto some wary Stagers or have the happiness to be taken in as partners unto such Whereby as Bears by their grown Cubs they are taught to catch the prey with the greatest cleverness and certainty and with the least hazard 'T is not amiss here also to admonish you that great Rents have very often broke the back of young beginners who before they could get acquaintance and gain custom to defray the charge of so great expence are drain'd dry to the very vital bloud and expire like a Candle for want of fat to feed the fire on 't Consider therefore that omne principium est debile and 't is wisdom to dispose all thy projects in a proportion to that infirmity For he that arms himself beyond his own dimensions is incumbred with his own Furniture and commonly falls the more ridiculous subject of others scorne and triumph Be therefore advised to begin warily having as the first so the last game to play and as one jested it being all one and one all it concerns you so to dispose it as may admit of the least hazard Nor is it less good counsel to begin low according to the advice of the Country-man to eat your brown Bread first If there were no other reason at least because 't is shameful to come lower And experience tells us that that Bullock which hath been fed with Hay will almost starve before 't will be kept with Straw for though there be nothing more easie then to come down so there 's nothing more difficult then to bring our mindes to it But further as those Structures which are raised highest have always their foundations laid lowest so you can hardly instance in any great estate whose beginning was not with such a providence as consulted for mean things And this doubtless may be rendred as the principal cause that so very few of those prove successful who have been furnish'd out into the world plentifully by their friends For building thereupon with too much confidence they set out at such a rate as before they have run far breaks their wind whereas they who come forth under-hatcht conscious of their own infirmity ride with a strait hand and if they are wise put not into a gallop till their wind be well rackt and by that means prove of good spur-mettle to the last And now let me tell you there 's no
who though they intend to make a cure at last yet to serve their own turns keep you long in hand and intermit their lenitive emplaisters with those which may corrode and vex you And in truth women never so well revenge themselves on men as when they send them sneaking away disappointed in their expectations and that which is the mischief on 't the business is not acted in a corner but the world must be a publick witness of the defeat when in the midst of all your gallantry you are routed Horse and Foot and triumphed over by such an enemy as gives no other reason why she will not but because she will not And therefore in such cases they must be dealt with as Stalkers do with bobbed Partridges give them time till they may be brought about again for their own inconstancie will not let them be long in the same minde but that Weather-cock which stands to the cold North to day you my finde perhaps to the warm South to morrow And here observe also that there is not a little Rhetorick in gifts of which Solomon saith That they blinde the eyes of the wise Wherein 't is discretion to make choice of such as may be not so much costly as pertinent such as are likely to gain her acceptance by fitting her humour rather then by drayning your purse and such too as may most and longest be expos'd to view and be the opportunest Orators in your behalf And for this cause your costly treats must be of rarer use which are almost forgotten as soon as the taste is off the Palate and are then onely useful when by their jollity they may allay an austerer temper or you are in hopes that by a more publick condescension there may be a stop given to any purposes of retracting Otherwise doubtless privacie affords the best woing and they will then comply most when they may hide their blushes in your bosome But if you fail of your expectation and your suit want success let it be your care to come fairly off by no means indeavouring to abate your disgrace in the disappointment by casting any blemish upon the person you have made service to For as I always abhorred that love which because it could not speed was converted into hate so have I thought their come-off no less unworthy who to qualifie the blemish of their being denyed have made no bones to throw dirt in their faces where before in their officiousness they would have kiss'd their breeches It is therefore doubtless more noble to let the world see that you had integrity in your intentions and were rather unfortunate then base mistaken rather in the thoughts of your own worth which is common to men then in the conceptions of her worthiness and being still desirous to keep those as friends whom you cannot obtain as neerer relations For verily methinks 't is very unjust not to prosecute those ever with all common courtesies to whom one ever presented any conjugal pretensions But if you be so successful as to obtain be remembred 't is now the time to be considerately joyful and to observe the golden mean of moderated freeness not to lash out into such extravagance as may render you suspected to the sober nor guilty of any such poorness as may justly subject you to the censure of the wiser For as the day of our espousals should be the day of the gladness of our hearts so is it great folly to let the stream then overflow its banks at such a rate as that the Chanel should be the shallower for it ever after For though I am no enemy to Nuptial Feasts yet I have thought them no less then mad which to fit others with Wedding-Gloves have brought themselves in a few years to want working-day Shooes running so far in debt to make that one day joyous and paunch-gutted as hath made all the rest of their days mournful and pinch-bellyed Whilst others therefore wish you joy know the foundation of it must be in your selves and that is likely to be most which so begins as that it may hold out and taketh care that the Garments of the following years may be made at least by the pattern of the Wedding Clothes Being now safely moared in the happy harbour of a well-disposed wife let it be your first care to promote her Piety which I do not speak of as 't is thy duty but as expedient to advance your content and well-fare For as doubtless 't is no mean policie to be good God either giving such his blessing in the things of this life or recompencing the want of these with the things of a better So is Religion not the least of those means whereby all societies are preserved in their particular interest being call'd Religio as some will à religando binding our mindes in the conscience of such duties wherein no other consideration would prevail with us And upon the same score 't is great prudence to preserve in the freshest greenness that conjugal affection which if it did not at first bring you together yet doubtless should be of prime designe in this condition Love being like that Salt and Sugar which doth season and make acceptable those occurrents which without it would bite upon the Tongue and beget disgusts most indispensible And verily those Husbands are Fools who think to have the subjection of their Wives not by the exercises of affection but the asserting their own authorities For whatever is compell'd waits for an opportunity to be deny'd and they that rule over the unwilling finde the trouble as great to keep in obedience as the pleasure to be obey'd All compulsory being a violent motion which upon every cessation of the vis motiva returns again to its natural bent when as that which is from a principle within moves regularly and is commonly most active in opposition For which cause we read that Love is as strong as Death and many Waters cannot quench Love it being that active affection which makes us willing to do willing to suffer willing to give and willing to forgive for Love covers a multitude of sins not onely by overlooking them and allowing the fairest interpretation to all that will admit it but by being ready to condone what might be done amiss and accepting of any acknowledgement for satisfaction Thus sodering by a speedy composure those casual breaches which disaffection still makes wider so that what was at first but accidentally offensive by after-exaggeration proves to be the cause of a final separation And therefore without doubt there should be the greatest caution to preserve this affection like the Apple of the Eye which no mote may offend and to compose those strifes with the greatest speed which may give an allay to a mutual kindeness for doubtless they are inexcusable who upon occasional discontents affect a sullenness think to give a weight to their anger by the continuance whereas in very deed all that time the