imagination presented me with nothing but what was agreeable I looked upon the conclusion of the fight as the Commencement of my 〈◊〉 Me thought I saw Abdradates returning all garnished with Palmes and his Chariot overloaded with the spoils of his enemies And in that consideration I took more pains to make his Armour Glorious then strong I knew Abdradates his Valor but I did not also know Fortunes Malice I had so much fear that his brave Actions should not be sufficientlie known that I employed all my Jewels to make his Coat of Armour the more remarkable But insensible that I am what do I say Doubtless I was in paction with his enemies I was minded to show them where to strick I was the cause of all the wounds that Abdradates received It was I who peirced his heart And covered all his bodie with blood and wounds I guided all his Assailants hands And as if it could not have been enough that the Generous did fight him in emulation of his extraordinarie courage I would also make the Avaritious and Mercenarie have the same designs In fine I armed all Cresus armie against him Some onlie by desiring to conquer a man who seemed to be the God of War And others by the Richness of the Bootie It was my hand put on Abdradates his Armour that cursed day yes Generous Cyrus I my self brought the cause of my ruine to him and though in that very instant a secret horrour seised me which foretold my miserie I despised a revelation which was sent me by the Gods and though I could not restain my teares I was so unjust as to conceal them from my dear Abdradates Me thought it would be a robbing him of his heart to testifie to him that I wanted one at such a time But imprudent that I was I ought to have showed him my Tears with all their bitterness For I doubt not If by my grief I had let him know that my life depended upon the preservation of his But he would have taken a little more care of himself then he did He would have equallie considered your glorie and my life But O Illustrious Cyrus it seems at that time that I neither cared for that of Abdradates nor my own For when I had made an end of arming him and had led him to the Magnificent Chariot that waited for him I did neither speak to him of himself nor of me But Wholie of your obligations to me I remembered him that when you might have used me as a slave you treated me like a Queen that having had the misfortun of displeasing a man whom you loved better then your self you was so generous as to defend one from him and that after so heroick an action I promised to you that he would be as faithfull and profitable to you as Araspes had been Behold Generrous Cyrus what I said to my Dear Abradates being readie to depart from me for the last time And as his thought were never differing from mine Would to the Gods said he to me putting his hand upon my head and lifting up his eyes to Heaven That I may show my self to day as a deserving friend to Cyrus and as a husband worthie of Panthea And having so said he left me And looking upon me so long as it was possible when he was in the Charriot he commanded his Postilion to drive And being depryved of embracing my dear Abdradates any more all I could do was to kiss the outside of the Chaire wherein he did sit Adiew Would I have said to my dear Abdradates When an excesive greiefe which surprised me all at once did hinder me And although the Charriot did begin to goe away from me I did not forbear to follow it But when Abdradates perceived it Goe said he to me generous Panthea expect my return with hopes of seeing me aâ—one Woe is me I did not then know that the Charriot whose magnificence atracted the eyes of all its beholders and which seemed to have been made for a day of Triumph would be Abdradates his coffine However I did no sooner lose sight of him when my waiting women having put me in my Litter and brought me back to my Aunt I ceased to hope and began to fear My imagination which till then had entertained me with Crowns and victories then presented nothing to my view but dooleful objects and according to the acount is given me of the business I saw in my Melancholie revenge all that hath befallen my dear Abdradates Yes Cyrus I saw him in the front of the Battle impatient to shed his blood for your glorie I saw him furiouslie repulse the Lydeanes I saw him break the Battalions he attacked I saw him give Death wheresoever he carried his Arm pursuing his flying enemies covering the fields with dead bodies and in my Vision me thought I saw his Chariot conduted by Victorie But alace That apparition was quicklie defaced by an other I saw of a sudden that that which should have oblidged Abdradates his souldiers to stick close to him made them abandone him The great dangers wherein he did cast himself daunted his followers courage and augmented that of the Egyptianes I saw him abandoned by the most part of his Suoldiers and invelopped among his enemies yet I saw him make bright day thorow the lances the darts and the javelie of them he did assaulteâ— saw him like in lâ—ghting among the ranks Overthrew all that he encountered Break the Chariots that opposed him Kill the men who drove them attaque and defend himself at once And in fine conquer all that withstood his Valour But after he had with his own hand erected a trophy to your and his own glorie and had taught your Souldiers which way they should obtain the victorie After I say he had covered all the fields with blood dead bodies broken armes and Chariots dashed to peices These same men whom he had killed These Armes which he had broken and these verie Chariots which he destroyed Did O Cyrus shall tell it overturn that of my Abdradates If he had conquered fewer enemies he had not been overcome They whom he had surmounted were more fatal to him then they he had to fight But in fine I saw Abdradates oppressed by the croud I saw him all overwounded disputing for his life even to the last drop of his blood O terrifying vision I saw him fall dead and a dying conqueror them who caused him dye and in effect O Cyrus you know that your Souldiers fought better to have the dood bodie of Abdradates then they did to save Abdradates his life Judge what condition could my Soul be in dureing such a lamentable sight But that was nothing in com parison of what I suffered when I saw Abdradates his Chariot return all loaded with the spoiles of his enemies And above that faâ—all Trophie the body of that Illustrious Heros all covered with wounds pale dead and bleeding O Cyrus O Panthea O doleful victorie
endure that disgrace without murmuring Yes my Lord that blind thing so much accustomed to favour vice at the expence of Vertue that makes no presents but to take them away That establishes no Kingdomes but to destroy them And which overturns all that it does establish In one word Fortune shall not put a stand to my patience I shall without regrate quit the Scepter the Crown the Throne the Court and the Empire and all that splendid some which accompanies Royalltie if I could return into my solitude with your esteem and affection These two things my Lord if I be not mistaken should not be under Fortunes Jurisdiction It may both take day and Empire from you it may also make you a slave but it cannot make your unjust You alone are the arbitrator of your will your hatred your esteem and your affection The noble priviledge that God hath given to man of being free among chains and of being absolute Master of his inclinations makes â—ou be oblidged to answer exactlie for yours Nevertheless my Lord the respect I have to you makes that I dare not accuse you of these you have to me Though certainlie my innocence renders them unjust And for that respect I will rather call my self unhappie then say you are culpable I accuse Fortune unjustlie of one thing which you alone can answer It is not from its hand to speak more trulie then I have done that I hold the Scepter which I carrie It is not she hath put the Crown up on my head Her wheel hath not thrown me upon the Throne Her caprice made me not your Wife All these things my Lord are either effects of your goodness of my merit or of your blindness If it be the first I have learned of my Father that crime alone justifies repentance That it is a sentment which vertue knows not and which should not be used but after a wicked action If it be the second and if you have estemed me by knowing how little I am worth take not from me my Lord what belongs to me Because being the verie same that I was you should be the same that you have been But if you say to me that I am the error of your judgement and that you have not found in my person such merit as you did believe to meet with I dispute not against you take from me all that you have given me but take not away my innocence which I have onlie received from Heaven When Athenais came to your Court her reputation was spotless Few People that did speak said all good of her To day all People speak according to their fancie yet without letting me know what they say For to speak sincerlie it is onlie with you that I would be justified They who do good because it is good and not because it should be divulged care not what unjustice fame will do to their Vertue They find their satisfaction on themselves without seeking after it in anie other So that the wise are sometimes most innocent and most happie when the Vulgar who onlie judge appaaentlie believes them guilty and unfortunate But my Lord since the affection that you have had for me and thrt which I have for you hath made you if I dare say so a second self to me I ought to vindicate my actions before your eies Remember my Daughter said my Father to me one day That you studie not so much to acquire the esteem of other as not to endeavour more to obtain your own Be you both your own judge and partie Think of satisfying your self Examine your inclinations Search the bottome of your heart to knew if Vertrue be Mistris of it But do not flatter yourself incline rather to rigor then to indulgence And after having made an exact scrutinie of your intentions when you come to the point of being satisfied with your mind slight the glorie of the World laugh at calumnie And be better contented in having your own esteem then if you had that of the greatest Princes of the Earth But my Lord for this reason I cannot be tranquill so long as my better half doth not believe me innocent Suffer me then my Lord to repass exactlie all the circumstances of my disgrace and that dear part of my innocence that I may thereby with some tranquillitie go to my searched for solitude When I came to Constantinople asking justice against my Brothers who refused me that right which I had to the paternall Succession the prudent Pulcheria rejected not my requests She heard me And making me loss my cause verie advantageouslie gave me For tunes which she ought to have preserved for me At that time my Lord there was onlie a poor cottage in agitation and three foot of Earth to cover me from extream necessitie But to day when not onlie the honor of Anthenais is in question but that of Eudosia your Wise you are oblidged to hear her and to do her justice I think my Lord that the cause of your anger and my grief is because I have given a trifle which you gave me And that afterwards to excuse an action which I saw by your eies would not have pleased you if you had known it I excused that innocent error by a lie Behold my Lord all the crime that I have committed And the fear onlie of dispeasing you hath made me displease you When your Majestie gave me that fatal fruit which hath caused my disgrace I received it with joy Both for its extraordinar pleasantness and more because it came from your hands The pleasure I had in seeing of it perswading me that it was more proper to divert the sight then to satisfie the teast And being irresolute to destroy it I examined what I could do with such an agreeable present The unfortunate Paulinus was then sick So that being minded to send visit him I thought the amiable gift that you gave me could not be better bestowed then by giving it to a person whom you testified that you loved better then your self But my Lord Paulinus made not a misterie of this liberalitie For because I did not tell him that I had received it from your Majestie the same apprehension that had oblidged me to send him that fatall apple was doubtless the cause why to testifie to me the esteem he had of the present I made him he would put it in more worthie hands then his own But if you say to me that since you gave me the gift I ought never to have regiven it because everie thing that comes from the person beloved should be held as dear as the life I shall agree with you because by that I pretend to justifie my self However there is an important distinction to be made in this encounter For as there is great diversitie in mens loves the things which that passion produces should also be all differing The love of husband and Wife is no more that of Lover and Mistris And though they be
done nothing I have said nothing I have thought nothing against them And my greatest crime is that I am unhappie and that you love me But would to Heaven that I be in that manner Criminall all my life Continue my dear Lord to give them new subject of hateing me by loving me alwayes Testifie to them that the Victime which you sacrifice for them is dear to you And for your glorie as much as myne make them know that the affection you have for me hath lawfull fundationes Conceall my faults and carefulie exaggerate the few good qualities are in me tell them that the affection which I had for you served in stead of merit And in fine that you have found in my persone she object worthie of your love For me I am not troubled to justifie what I have for you your Valor and Vertue are so equallie known through all the Earth that I need not tell for what reasons I love you This sentiment is so universall that though you were not infinitly Good you should not be oblidged to me But my dear Titus shall I tell you something that is in my minde Yes because my affection hath caused it you cannot be displeased and you are too just to condemn Berenieta when you shall know that she is onlie guiltie of excess of Love I would not in the condition that things are in to day robb you of the Crown which you ought to carrie by oblidging you to follow me For my dear Lord there is no corner of the Earth where the Illustrious Titus can live unknown But if it be permitted me to tell you all that I think I wish that being born without Crown without Kingdom and without Empire we could leave together in some place where Vertue alone should Reign with us I wish I say that you were not what you are And yet I would not have you changed In fine the excess your grief and affection makes that finding nothing that satisfies me among all things possible I am constrained for my consolation to make wishes which are impossible to execute Pardon me my door Titus If I would rob you of a Crown I reprehend my self because I know by your eyes you are no offâ—â—â—ded Till now I never thought that I could see you greived and not be a partaker with you Yet surely that which I see Painted in your face sweetneth my affliction Your tears diminishes the bitterness of mine And in the condition my Soul is in I can have no reflection so pleasing as to see you infinitly afflicted Yes Titus my dispair is so great that since I cannot live happie with you there are moments wherein I shall wish that we were alwaies unhappie so that we could but be together Yet this unjust thought does not last long in my mind And passing from one extremity to another I shall wish that I were yet more unfortunate and that you were not at all Methinks then the Romans have reason to exile me because I am capable of disturbing the repose of their Prince I wish I could depart without afflicting you Carrie away in my heart your sorrow with my own And by so tender a thought I pittie you more then my self Moreover if I can possiblie live without you I am sure I shall hear often newes of you though you your self should give me none Fame will tell me of ail your brave actions And I heartily wish that it would load it self with my tears as well as with your exploits thereby to let you know that neither time nor absence had anie way Diminished my sorrows or affection Remember my Dear Titus everie time that your heart makes you do a brave action That there Berenicea shall find both a subject of joy and of grief She shall rejoice at your glorie and afflict her self for the loss she has had But when that doth come to pass she shall ever love you equallie Nevertheless I think I shall not be long in pain to partake of what befals you for my grief which I feel is so great That I believe it cannot be long If my exile had been caused by your inconstancie that you had changed your thonghts of of me That your disdain had been the cause of my disgrace I should have comforted my self by complaining of you I should mitigate my Torment by calling you ungrate perfidious Choller despight should devide my heart I might one day hope to love you no more And whether by resentment or glorie I should almost depart from you without weeping But as matters goe I se call over subjects to afflict me And nothing that can sweeten my grief I not only loss a lover I loss a Faithfull lover And I loss him in such a manner that it permits me not to complain of him I accuse the Senate and the people that I may not complain of the Emperor because he is his Father And without being able to accuse him If not of his having loved me too well I depart the unhappiest woman that ever was But unsensible that I am what do I say By that I find some cause to comfort me Because I quit Titus and he not me fortune plucks me from him against his will It threatens to take the Crown from him If he consent not to my banishment And at this time I have the satisfaction of seeing my dear Titus esteem me more then the Empire of all the World However it is true that I must forsake him Yet I have this little comfort at our parting to know that I dwell in his heart and that nothing can chase me thence If I be not mistaken I see by your silence that you consent to what I say Your sighes does assure me and your teares permit me not to doubt You have too delicate a Soul to be capable of infidelitie or forgetfulness Unconstancie is a fault which cannot be fouud in you be cause it is certainly a sign of imbicilitie or little Judgement The heart must not be given without a long premeditation But when once given it must never be retaken For me I find we have more right over others goods which belong not to us then we have of the presents which our liberalitie gives Others things may sometimes come under our power without injustice But what we once give should never again be ours It is a renouncing of all right we have to pretend to it And no Law can with equity put us in possesion of it Since it is so I am assured to have alwayes the possession of your heart It is by that thought that I can hope to live in my exile It is the onlie thing can support my life And for that only can I say that I am not absolutely unhappie I hope the Romans will in time know that as your love to me had nothing of injustice sol have inspired you with nothing but rationall thoughts I desire not Titus that you loss your self for preserving me I will
alace can I tell it Yes Lucretia for your vindication and chastisement thou must to day be altogether thy accuser thy witness thy partie thy defender and thy judge Know then Collatinus that that Lucretia who did ever love her honor better then her life or yours Whose chastitie was alwayes without blemish The puritie of whose Soul is incorruptible Hath suffered in your place a base an infamous Person the son of a Tirran and a verie Tirran himself Yes Collatinus the perfidious Tarquin whom you called your friend when you brought him to me the first time that I had seen him and would to the Gods it had been the last day of my life That Traitor I say hath made Triumph of Lucretias chastity By despising his own Glorie he hath lessened yours by having absolutlie benighted mine Aud by a crueltie which never had example he hath reduced me to the most deplorable condition that Woman whose whole inclinations are Noble could ever see I perseive Generous Collatinus that my discourse astonishes you And that you are in pain to believe what I say Yet it is a certain truth I am witness and asociate of Lucretias crime Yes Collatinus though I am yet alive I am not innocent Yes my Father your daughter is guiltie for having survived her glorie Yes Brutus I merit the hatred of all my Neighbours And when I have commited no other crime but the giving love to a cruell Tirran who by the abuse he hath done to me hath altogether violated the Laws of men of friendshp offended the Roman People and despised the Gods It is enough to merit the hatred of all the World Wo is me Is it possible that Lucretia could inspire such base thoughts that her fatal beautie could kindle a flame which should be her own destruction And that her looks which were so innocent could give such criminall desires But what is thy wonder insensible that thou art Rather wonder that thou did not tear thy heart before thy great misfortune Then was the time Lucretia wherein you should have testified courage and the love that you had to Glorie You should have then died innocent Your life would have been spotless and without question the Gods would have â—een carefull of your reputation Butinfine the busifiess is not so I am unhappie unworthie to fee the right Unworthie of being Spurius Lucretius his Daughter Unworthie of being Collatinus his Wife And unworthie of being a Roman Now Collatinus I ask of you what punishment Lucretia deserves Deprive her of your affection Blot her our of your Remembrance Revenge the abuse that has been done to her onlie for love to your self and not out of love her Look upon her no more but as infamous And though her misfortune be extream deny her that compassion which is had of all that are miserable But nevertheless if it were permitted me after I have spoken against my self to say some what in my defence I would say Collatinus without contradicting truth That I have not obscured my Glorie but by having loved Glorie too well Tarquins cajolleries did not touch my heart His passion gave me none His presents did not at all suborn my fidelitie Nor love nor ambition brangled my Soul And if I desired to speak for my self I can onlie say that I loved my Reputation too much Yes Collatinus Lucretias crime was that she preferred fame to true Glorie When the insolent Tarquin came into my Chamber I being awaked saw a Poiginard in his hand And having brought it to my Throat to hinder my out-cries he began to speak of a passion he had for me The Gods knows what were then my thoughts And if death appeared terrible to me In that condition I equallie despised the praiers and threats of the Tyrran His demands and offers were equallie rejected Neither love nor fear had anie place in my Soul Death did not affright me And so far from apprehending I manie times desired it My Vertue had nothing to fight against at that time I was not pendulous to preser death to the Tyrrans love And I know no horrid pain which I would not have joyfullie endured to have preserved my honour But when my coustancie had wearied the Tirrans patience That he saw neither his praiers tears presents promises threats nor death it self could move my heart That Barbarian inspired by the furies said it I resisted his desires anie longer he would not onlie kill me But to make me infamous to Posteritie he would 〈◊〉 slave who accompanied him To the end that 〈…〉 him dead in my bed it should be thought that I 〈◊〉 forgot my honour for that slave and that he wing 〈…〉 zeal to you had punished us as being guiltie of that crime I avouch with shame that that discourse wrought on my Spirit what the certaintie of death could not do I lost strength and reason I yeelded to the Tirran And the fear of being thought infamous is the onlie thing that made me so No Collatinus I cannot endure that Lucretia should be accused to have failled in her honour That the memorie of it was eternallie blasted And thinking that she should be execrable to you hindered her from dying at that instant and makes her live till now I did all things to oppose the Tyrrans violences except killing my self I desired to live that I might preserve my Reputation and that I should not die unrevenged And a false image of true Glorie taking possession of my heart made me commit a crime which I feared to be accused of However the Gods are my witnesses that my Soul and desires are whollie pure my consent contributed nothing to that doolefull accident neither in the beginning progress nor end of it You know Generous Collatinus that when you brought the Tirran as your Friend I was not voluntarlie the cause of his unjust passion I scarce lifted up my eies to look upon him And that Illustrious Victorie which my Modestie gained to you that day should make you sufficientlie remember that I have not drawn upon my self the misfortune that is befallen me After that I did not see the treacherous Tarquin untill that dismall day wherein he made prise of Lucretia Vertue But what do I say Tirrans have no power over the will I am yet the same Lucretia who so much loved glorie Because it is certain that mine is altogether innocent The tears which flow from my eies are not the effects of my remorse I repent not for the fault I have committed but onlie that I died not before that of another We were two in the crime and but one Criminall And my conscience does check me of nothing but my having preferred my reputation and revenge to a Glorious death That which hath caused my misfortune is that I believed the Glorie of my death would not be known I doubted the equitie of the Gods at that time And without remembering that they do miracles when they please and that they are protectors of innocence