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A47917 A sermon prepared to be preach'd at the internment of the renowned Observator with some remarques on his life, by the Reverend Toryrorydammeeplotshammee Younkercrape : to which is annexed an elegy and epitaph, by the Rose-Ally-Poet, and other prime wits of the age. Younkercrape, Toryrorydammeeplotshammee.; Rose-Ally-Poet. 1682 (1682) Wing L1305; ESTC R21960 12,226 32

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dear Brothers uncertain condition we may well cry out with the great Eusthenes Ah Cruel Death that hast taken from us the most perfect of Men. Hum Hum Hum 'T is true no Man can attain to perfection in this world but our dear Brother had excellencies peculiar to himself and therefore we may account him in some measure perfect as I have said already Pray my beloved do not cavil with me about a word or two when us'd to so good an end as the praise of our deceased Brother He was the most excellent guide to the Inferiour Clergy that ever our Land produc'd He walk'd before 'em like a sumptuous Fore-Horse in Peascod time and lead 'em along as he pleas'd himself with the Harmonious gingling of his painted Collar So that if any thing were wanting to this extraordinary Train it was only that Celestial Constellation call'd Auriga or the Carter with his heavenly Geeho's and Haitho's for their Dri●er Cambridge was not ignorant of this and therefore was he by one of their Members quoted at St. Maries for an Author Oh the Learned the Great the blessed Observator who knows but that in time he may stand in competition with St. Ambrose St. Austin and St. Chrysostome I remember my beloved I have read of a certain Bird called Onocrotalus a Bird resembling a Swan in shape and bigness but most sonorously braying like an Ass Ah my beloved was not our dear Brother the Swan of our Age Rara Avis in Terris Nigroque simillima Cygno And then again how sweetly has he brayd against the Whigs once twice sometimes thrice a week I say he brayd sweetly gentilely not like a Beast but like a Bird And why did he choose to bray my beloved Oh my beloved he knew that the Whigs were a kind of Aegithi or Hawks that is to say Birds of prey that built their Nests among Thorns and Briars that is among Factions and Fractions and that there was nothing so terrible to those Hawks as the braying of an Ass in so much that if they do but hear an Ass bray they will spoyl their own Nests and break their own Eggs out of meer fear and astonishment Therefore my beloved our dear Brother chose to bray to the end he might scare the Whigs from their Nests their Clubs and their Conventicles and cause them to break their own Eggs their Designs and their Plots and Contrivances Ah my beloved was there ever such an Onocrotalus as this Heaven send us more such Onocrotalus's as thefe Hum Hum Hum But 't is our comfort my beloved he deceas'd in a good old Age and tho he did not die a Martyr yet he died as like one as five pence to a groat He had many Enemies my beloved And indeed there is hardly any creature either in the Water or the Air or upon the Land but has its peculiar Enemy The Swan and the Eagle are always at Daggers drawing so are the Weasel and the Crow the Lyon and the Wolf In the same manner did our dear Brother live in perpetual Antipathy with one or other to his dying day His Hand was against every body and every bodies Hand against him On the one side the Cares and the Curtiss's on the other by the Baldwin's and Janeway's Had he not been a right metled Towzer indeed they had worryed him to death One tells him of his Coach and six Horses which he kept by vertue of Phil-Porters Motto Another rubs him up with the tale of the Printers Wife to whom he had promis'd peculiar immunities when it was in his power would she have condescended to have been his Elderships Susanna Another twits him with the twenty pieces reconciliation with the Bookseller near Mercers Chappel upon which followed a Cessation of his Masters suit that employed him Another swears him a Papist nay another would have sworn him into a Plot to destroy the Plot itself Lastly when he thought to have thrown off all these things by taking the Sacrament up starts another and takes the Sacrament with him in justification of what he had sworn and so spoil'd all again These and many other such snubs and rubs and whirrets o' the Ear of his Reputation were enough to have sunk a Person of a softer and milder temper long e're this But ne Hercules contra duos had he been Towner with as many heads as Cerberus they would have worryed him at length for I find they were resolved upon it I wish these Butters against Anti-Christ may not have cause to repent it and I hope to see the day when these Greek Kalends shall come Those Grecian Kalends I have heard much talk of O may the Sun and Moon bring 'em quickly about that we may be at once avenged for the loss of our dear Brother for he is gone the most perfect of Men. He that as it is said of the great Xenomanes had a memory that was like a Collonels Scarf that would carry away a whole voyder of Sweet-meats at a time An imagination like the jangling of a Country Steeple whose thoughts were like a flight of Telfares an understanding like a torn prayer book conceits like those of a Snail creeping out of a Strawbery Bed the judgment of a shooing Horn the discretion of a pair of Childrens mittens and the reason of a Bartholomew fair Drum And now my beloved let us weep a while over the Hearse of this great Person May his emmory last as long as the Skeletons in St. Johns Library He that offers to wipe with an Observator may the piles vex him to his Grave And may that Grocer break and all his Plums rot that uses those holy sheets for wast paper And may all Wash-balls moulder to dirt that shall ever be wrapt up in Whig and Tory. May they have the same charms as the Hankerchers dip't in Staffords blood to cure the Meazles in Hogs and the Pip in Chickens Laftly my beloved carry these dear Relicks of his fame alwaies about ye like Zisca's Skin as a terrour to the Whigs So may our dear Brother live in his Eterniz'd Lines whom otherwise I fear me this Ingrateful Age will soon forget But my beloved after all this there are a sort of People that though they will not deny him to have been dead yet obstinately affirm him to have been come to life again For say they should not so great a Hero as our Observator have as much priviledge as Lucian allows to Hercules Orpheus and Ulysses Nay we find how the barking snarling Menippus cheated that same Devil of a Sculler Chavan himself under the disguise of a Lyons skin and a Club in his hand And indeed my beloved the world is grown to that pass now that men are become so vastly spiritualiz'd in craft and cunning that it could be no disgrace for the Devil to be cheated by such a one as the Observator a Person that exceeded the Tyrant of Orcus in cunning and Romancing as much as that