Selected quad for the lemma: cause_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
cause_n	bring_v	child_n	good_a	1,431	5	3.9500	3	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A40384	The government of a wife, or, Wholsom and pleasant advice for married men in a letter to a friend / written in Portuguese, by Don Francisco Manuel ; with some additions of the translator, distinguished from the translation ; there is also added, a letter upon the same subject, written in Spanish by Don Antonio de Guevara, Bishop of Mondoñedo ... ; translated into English by Capt. John Stevens.; Carta de guia de casados. English	Mello, Francisco Manuel de, 1608-1666.; Guevara, Antonio de, Bp., d. 1545?; Stevens, John, d. 1726.	1697 (1697)	Wing F2062; ESTC R17060	99,081	268

ill Disposition in our Bodies than that the ill Humors found there should be changed by the Food into Nourishment Young Men think the Bands of Matrimony insupportable they are so to those who know not how to wear them but easy to them that do A small weight on a Man's back is cumbersom a much greater drawn upon Wheels is easier The Burthen of Wedlock is not beyond our strength it generally wants being supported by Prudence and therefore appears the heavier Would you know how light the Burthen of this sort of Life is VVeigh it by that you leave put into the Scale your former Restlessness the Dangers the Disgusts the Disorders of the Affections that general mistrust of all things that want of Confidence in any body Complaints which trouble Revenge which endangers Falshood in Friends which torments Jealousy which wastes Courtship that consumes you the dangers of your Honour the lavishing of your Health the exposing your Life and the continual remorse of your Conscience then will you rejoice all this is left behind VVere the advantages of VVedlock no other but that it delivered a Man from so many Evils well might it still merit the Name of a holy and sweet course of Life Now let us see what it is a marryed Man receives in lieu of his so much boasted of Freedom He is put into a better State of Freedom and is possessed of a VVoman who deposites in his hands her Liberty her VVill her Fortune her Care her Obedience her Life and even her very Soul VVho is there so blind that weighing what he leaves and what he receives will not discover how great a Gainer he is by the change One of the circumstances that most contributes towards securing the future Happiness of those that Marry is the due proportion of the Match Inequality of Birth of Fortune of Age causes Disputes and those Disputes produce Discord This it is that brings on all Troubles there is no Peace and the marryed Life is Hell upon Earth For the satisfaction of Parents it is requisite there be some equality in Birth for the good of the Children that there be a proportion of Fortunes and for the satisfaction of the Marryed Couple that there be no disproportion of Years It does not follow that this equality must hold between Man and VVife to a day or year but the difference ought not to be exceeding great VVhat odds there are ought always to be on the Husbands side who in all respects must be superior to the VVoman yet the greatest Happiness always consists in the greatest Equality A great Courtier among us used to say There were three sorts of Marriages in the world a Marriage of God a Marriage of the Devil and a Marriage of Death Of God when a Young Man marries a Young VVoman Of the Devil when an Old VVoman marries a Young Man And of Death when an Old Man marries a Young VVoman There is no doubt he was much in the right for a Young Couple may live with Content Old VVomen marryed to Young Men live in perpetual Discord Old Men marryed to Young VVomen hasten their own Death either through Jealousy or Excess But because these things are too vulgar and the meanest capacities have some knowledge of them and consequently the judicious enough it is time to come to particulars not so obvious Know then Sir that by VVedlock another Soul is added to your Soul and a new Duty is laid upon that which before was incumbent on you and therefore your care and industry ought proportionably to increase Just as a Man who having one good Farm which he looked after and endeavoured to improve if another happened to fall to him would endeavour to double his Industry that he might manage both without expressing any concern or trouble So a Marryed Man without afflicting himself must double his Forecast and Care that he may not be wanting to the new Charge he has taken and is lay'd upon him by the VVife he has received not that he should expose and ruin her and himself in her but that he should Live more pleasant and comfortably with her Let us see if it be possible to prescribe some rule of Love which is often what makes Marry'd People most Unhappy sometimes because it is wanting and sometimes because it is excessive Let us at least spread the Nets to catch this sort of prudent Love and let him fall into the Snare if he will though it is likeliest he will fly from it and that perhaps is the reason he is painted with Wings The Wife must be belov'd but not so that the Husband be lessen'd or brought into danger That sort of blind Love is only fit for Mistresses the Love of a Wife must have Eyes Let him either recover his own or borrow sight from the Understanding which can plentifully supply him It is then a Man is lessen'd by his Wife when he forfeits his Authority and exposes his Reputation rather than contradict her will in such cases where it is reasonable she should be contradicted It is equally dangerous to imitate Narcissus in loving another as in admiring ones self Certain Cardinals highly commended to Pope Pius Quintus a Servant he had whom he much favour'd the Pope answer'd he is a good Servant but never contradicts me It is rather the perfection of Love than any want of affection to curb the will of the loved object when bent upon things not fit to be allow'd There are some Men who have so little Sence they boast of their Captivity It is an equal shame for a Marry'd Man to let it be known his Wife commands him or that he makes her his Slave and not his Companion The Priviledge and the Authority that belongs to each ought of right to be setled and made known at first The Husband must be like the Sun in his House the Wife like the Moon what light she gives must be borrowed from him but she must never suffer an Eclipse He must Govern with absolute power and his respect must support her Authority She must fear him and he must cause all to fear her then both will be Obeyed In my Opinion Women are like precious Stones their Price is enhansed or abased according to the account we make of them Such as Marry Women above themselves in both Fortune or Knowledg are exposed to great danger God has delivered you from this danger Sir and all that Marry as you have done because you two are equal in all respects wherein there ought to be equality between Man and Wife and you are superior in those points you ought to be so in Eldership is a good pledge on the Husbands side to secure his Prerogative I will not stay to prescribe Remedies for preventing these dangers for it is not my design to give counsel how to chuse a Wife but how to live with her already chosen He who Marries a Young Wife has already half compassed his ends Tender Years

the contrary this latter is the most perfect Beauty A foolish Woman is troublesom but not intollerable The Husband must endeavour to lend as much of his Discretion towards directing the Actions of his Wife as he sees she wants A Man of sense will observe this method but if he have as little as she her weakness will never trouble him Few Men will be so mad to marry a meer Natural for the rest if a Woman has sence enough to preserve her Honour the Husband had better bear with Simplicity and Innocence which may be guided and informed than with the incorrigible Humors and Vanity of Women puffed up with the conceit of their Wit Discretion and Parts It is certain the Pride of their own Abilities has debauched more Women and dishonoured more Men than ever could be reckon'd to suffer damage by Ignorance or want of Judgment Sickness which she is subject to is also a great Affliction It is a grief to see the Person beloved languish and it is often they that deserve it least for Good and Evil has always been very unequally distributed in this VVorld A Sick Wife must be treated with all delicacy imaginable and her Humours tolerated with all possible Patience A Man may make this account that it being decreed one half of him must suffer it is a Mercy of God it should fall upon that half which will be least missed in his Family Let him consider it is the Duty of a faithful Companion to stick by his Company in the bad as well as the good way If the Scale were turned the Husband would desire to be treated in the same manner by his Wife There are some Women extravagantly impertinent and never to be pleased all their uneasiness falls upon the Servants to whom they become insupportable so the House gets an ill Name and the Master can scarce find any body that will serve him It is requisite these Women be held in and their Power restrained that like People labouring under some infectious Distemper they be served at a distance that little ear be given and less said to them Let them feel the effects of their ill Humours by leaving them without the necessary Attendance for if this will not reduce them any other Remedy is hard to be found and the innocent Husband suffers for the peevishness of his ill natur'd Wife that has gained the ill-will of the Servants who want Discretion to distinguish between the Actions of the one and the other and consequently which of them merits their Love and which their Hate Some Women are penurious and this is one of the smallest Faults they are subject to I do not look upon it of any dangerous consequence tho' it may breed some Discontent for if the Husband is generous he will remedy the fault of the Wife and if like her they will live in misery but with content I think all the cunning Hierogliphicks of Egypt have not a more witty Simile than our Portuguese Proverb The Husband a Boat the Wife a Chest I had it long since from an Old Woman and observed it as if it had been from a Learned Man The Husband must bring in and the Wife must keep A Jealous Wife is very apt to cause Discontent A Man of Judgment used to say Keep a Jealous Wife idle that is give her no occasion and she will not seek it He did not distinguish between a just cause of Complaint and a groundless Jealousy for I call not her Jealous whose Discontent proceeds from open Wrongs Those are Jealous who complain without cause and they are the troublesom Women For it is difficult but not impossible to any Man to mend his own Faults but to correct those of others is not difficult but impossible The best Remedy against a Jealous Wife is to give her no occasion and that will secure both Honour and Conscience Those that are Jealous with cause are cured of their Jealousy by the Husbands curing himself of his Failing As for light Suspitions which an ingenious Man called The Itch of Love for that they are at once painful and pleasant the same Medicines that were applyed to a Mistress will heal a Wife of them That inordinate Passion is most fierce and therefore the Jealousy proceeds from it the more violent as the best Vinegar is made of the strongest Wine Therefore he who knew how to divert the Jealousy of a Mistress when he had one may by the same methods remove the Jealousy of his Wife when Marryed Tho' it be uneasy to see a Woman Jealous without cause there is still that comfort in it It is the effect of Love and a Husband may the better bear with that Failing considering it as a demonstration of Affection in his Wife Let him apply soft Medicines continual Endearments and constant Kindness will probably reclaim any reasonable Woman If her madness be not otherwise curable a harsh Remedy may sometimes applyed with discretion have a good effect I will not attempt to prescribe it but give this Example A Gentleman who kept unseasonable hours at his coming home always found his Wife up she grew Sickly and Pined not understanding the reason he one day called a Servant that attended on her and what by Threats what by fair Means brought her to confess her Mistress every night followed him till she saw him Hous'd and that with the Fatigues of walking the Streets the cold Nights and vexing at home she was reduced to that condition The Gentleman charged the Maid to keep counsel and took no notice of what he had heard but the following night went out as usual and knowing her to be at his Heels walked the Streets till near Morning she still pursuing him He went home the Wife perceiving by his Ramble she was discovered never more offered to follow him and he for the future kept better Hours The next that come in the way are the Extravagant wasteful Women the devouring flame of Houses and Families This is a most Pernicious quality because it carries some shadow of Goodness and is much applauded A Woman ought to handle Money with as much caution as she would a Sword or Fire or any other thing she ought to be afraid of Money in the hands of a Woman is as unbecoming as a Weapon If a Marryed Woman of her self has not sufficient Authority to turn away a Servant how can she pretend to dispose of her Substance in which consists the Welfare and Happiness of Masters and Servants Much caution and discretion is requisite to manage one of these Women for as in a Ship at Sea the springing a Leak because Under-water is more dangerous than if many Breaches were made upon the Deck or Sides of the Ship that bear above the Sea so no other defect is equally dangerous as the profuseness of a Wife because it is a fault Under-water it ruines the main Stoek and the Family must inevitably Perish There are some of these who will Mortgage

short as we know by the Post that comes from any place what has happened there so by the words we discover how Affairs stand with the Brain whence they proceed The Women I know will look upon me with an ill Eye since I pretend to regulate their very Motions One of the most unsufferable things in them is the use of unbecoming Actions I know they have not all the same natural Air and Grace but they may all carry themselves with Gravity and Staidness There is a damn'd Word much in fashion that is Airiness and in plain English Airiness is Impudence I was about saying more but let this suffice It is a plain case that Airiness is bad because Gravity and Staidness is good No Toleration of this kind is to be given a VVoman it being absolutely as becoming for a VVoman to preserve a Decorum in these exterior Actions as for a stately Building to have a Noble Front to set it off What shall I say of Laughter If a Woman has white Teeth a pretty Mouth and Dimples in her Cheeks therein lies the greatest danger Some of these sort of Creatures will Laugh all the while at a Funeral Sermon only to expose their Treasure It is infallibly true that much Laughter betokens folly Far be it from me that I should perswade a VVoman to be always Melancholy this only serves to shew her Life is uneasy Let her be merry and laugh at home at her Table with her Husband Children and Friends when she goes abroad let her leave her Laughter at home as the Serpent that casts up its Venom before it drinks and after drinking swallows it again When she comes home let her resume her Mirth I have yet some scruple of Conscience about their Reading the best Book for them is their Needle and their Work yet would I not wholly debar them Reading I do not like them that will always be reading Plays that learn Parts and love to repeat them Others are mad for Novels and some for Plays The affection to these things is more dangerous than the use of them I do not deny but this Diversion may be allowed them but least to those who are most fond of it for they seem rather to affect the Parity of Thought than the Novelty of Story I would have no body delight in any thing but what is lawfully pleasing I will tell you a Passage I can never forget travelling in Spain I came into a Lodging cold and covered with Snow and could never prevail with the Landlady or either of her two Daughters to shew me a Room the more I pressed the more they assured me none of them would stir till they heard out a Novel that was very pleasing to them They valued not that I threatned to go to another Inn but rather invited me to sit with them and hear the pretty Courtship that was between Amouret and Phillis for that was the subject of the Novel In fine I went to another Inn and coming back that way soon after I enquired after the Mother and two Daughters that were so taken up with the Novel and was told That within a few days each of the Young ones had furnished Matter for another Novel having run away from the Town with two young Fellows approving themselves good Scholars of their so much admired Learning Well we are come to Sanctimony or rather Bigotry I have tired you and would fain run over this matter but fear I cannot It is a matter of greatest moment strive tho' it be against the grain to give attention and I will endeavour to speak with much circumspection VVe have seen many Persons of Note and well inclined under the specious pretence of Vertue led away to a disorderly course of Life The Devil sometimes deals with us as a Man that looks for another who if he sees him coming towards him stays there till he comes but if he sees him go another way then he puts on faster till he over-takes him The Devil for the most part does not go on to meet ill Livers because he knows they are coming towards him but it is after them who live well that he drives on with all possible speed Reformation of Manners is a good and holy thing but it has certain limits in respect to Married VVomen they must not apply themselves to Pious Exercises so as to neglect the Duties of their Family God has so ordained it that every one may be saved by performing what is incumbent on them with respect to their condition There are a sort of Men and VVomen in the VVorld who profess themselves Masters of Vertue whereas in reality they are not so much as Learners These often wind themselves into esteem of Pious Ladies and Persons of Quality without any consideration and guide them as blindly as they do themselves and as Experience has shewn us by dismal Examples The different Customs of Countries and even the difference of Religion are the Cause our Author here has made some Reflection and given such Counsels as are not at all suitable to us they will not be well understood by such as have not been abroad and tho' they were yet will they prove of no use here I have therefore thought good to omit them and substitute some parallel Observations more agreeable to the constitution of the Religious Bigotry in practice among us It is a commendable and ever approved custom of Ladies that aspire to Perfection in Vertue to give themselves up to the direction of some Spiritual Guide This I say is commendable when a VVoman casts her self upon such a Director as by the general approbation is allowed of sufficient Learning and tryed Vertue But how rare are those to be found There is nothing so pernicious as when a VVoman led by a blind Zeal commits the care of her Soul to those Pharisaical Hypocrites whose Godliness only consists in violent Railing in rowling their Eyes in the motions of their Heads and Hands and to be plain in diligently concealing their dear Enormities so much practised by themselves and so much inveighed against in others I will not speak of those Ladies who like these blind Guides and with their assistance make Sanctity the Cloak to cover their Lewdness There are few Men who know any thing of Intrigue and there are very few that do not but are themselves Judges how frequent that Practice is It is not these sort of Creatures we have in hand these are past Cure there is no hope of reclaiming them Interest is their God Pleasure their Paradise they are the most obstinate sort of Pagans for possessing at present their Deity and their Reward they will never be perswaded to leave them for a God and a Heaven to be possessed hereafter VVhen a Husband perceives his VVife whose Inclinations are Vertuous and who aims at true Piety fall ignorantly into the hands of one of those Hypocrites and suffer her self to be led by him it is then high