A GODLIE FORME OF HOVSEHOLDE GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods word Whereunto is adioyned in a more particular manner The seuerall duties of the Husband towards his Wife and the Wifes dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their Children and the Childrens towards their Parents The Masters dutie towards his Seruants and also the Seruants dutie towards their Masters Gathered by R. C. ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BARNARDE What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy name of thy Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour CYPRIAN It profiteth a man saith he nothing at all to professe vertue in words and to ouerthrow the trueth in his deeds AT LONDON Printed by Felix Kingston for Thomas Man 1598. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVLL MAISTER ROBERT BVRGAINE OF ROXALL ONE OF her Maiesties Iustices of peace in the Countie of Warwicke to the right Worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the Worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple-hall in the Countie of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the father by Iesus Christ and constancie in the trueth of the Gospell to the end and in the end HAuing collected and finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising verie carefully with my selfe to whom I might dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage thereof then some such meetest persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall Charges the seuerall poynts and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherevpon calling to minde the holy exercises daylie vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all ioyntly Patrones hereof First for that I acknowledge my selfe beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintance with you therefore least I should deserue the blame of vnthankefulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of mariage so also you are and haue beene a long time inseperably knit in a zealous sincere profession of Gods word and religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly would yet least I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeres in an idle condition or to hide my tallent in a napkin I haue been no lesse careful then willing to labour otherwaies to doo what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purport of my writings For such Householders as pretend to be great protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long inough talke of discipline and stil complaine of the want of Church-gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their own houses according to the direction handled in this Treatise and so to suffer the holy religion of God to take place amongst their families at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profit little For although there bee neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising and discipline in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in trueth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in trueth they were disordered and are still corrupted and mard at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnesse which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden dutie are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to bee practised within their seueral Households For if Parents and Householders shal performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meat drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and Infidels do yeelde this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullocks should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a christian Householder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants a much more christian care then he hath ouer his dumbe insensible beasts that so he may take a singular comfort from the daylie contemplation of their encrease in spirituall graces Oh what a sweete and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder as when he hath been so diligent and carefull in the trayning and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and waies of the Lorde that hee may rightly deserue to haue this worthie report commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly namely that he hath a church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed As the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly House-keepers Aquilla and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16.5 1. Cor. 16.19 As also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and Householders are in the Lorde to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of the couenant or at least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education and information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alasse many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing mooued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know and learne that if
be both wayward and full of affections which though his bodie bee but small yet he hath a great heart and is altogether inclined to euill and the more hee waxeth in reason by yeares the more he groweth proude froward wilfull vnruly and disobedient If this sparkle bee suffered to increase it will rage ouer and burne down the whole house For we are changed and become good not by birth but by education For like as planting and carefulnesse hath great power in all growing things euen so hath Education greater vertue and strength yea and better fruit in the diligent bringing vp of children Therefore parents must bee warie and circumspect that they neuer smile or laugh at any words or deedes of their children done lewdly vnhonestly naughtily wantonly or shamefully nor to kisse or commend them for so doing For children will commonly accustome themselues vnto such things as they shal see and perceiue to bee pleasing and delightfull to their father and mother Therefore they must correct and sharply reproue their children for saying or doing ill and make it knowne vnto them that they be neither wel pleased nor contented with their so doing but that it greatlie disliketh them And againe on the other side let them kisse and make much of them whensoeuer they shal see or heare them do any thing that is a signe of goodnesse But such is the fond and too much cockering affection of some parents towards their children that there is more neede in these daies to teach and admonish them not to loue them too much then to perswade them to loue them For Dauids darling was Dauids traytor 2. Sam. 15. all and 18.33 And this is the maner of God and his iust iudgemēt that when any father or mother begins as it were to set their childe or any thing els in the roome of God and so loue the same aboue him which gaue it either to take away the child or the thing or els to take away the parents before they prouoke him too much For as the Ape doth with too much embracings well neere kill her young whelpes so likewise some vndiscreet parents through immoderate loue and ouer-much pampering and cherishing do vtterly spoyle and marre their children Therefore if parents would haue their children liue they must take heede that they loue them not too much for the giuer is displeased when the gift is more esteemed then he Ill bringing vp is a cause of marring many which are of a good towardnesse and wit We may see by experience how that many children of good wit and towardnesse are marred and spoyled for want of good education and so get those vices from their tender yeares which all their life after doe for the most part accompanie them For when parents doe either too much cocker their children or by their lewd example allure them to naughtinesse or neglect due instruction what other thing I pray you can come to passe then which wee see in trees which from the beginning being neglected become crooked and vnfruitfull Contrariwise they that are pruned erected ordered and watered with the hand and cunning of the Husbandman are made straight fertile and fruitfull So that the manner of life education and custome are of great importance to moue to vertue What a great follie is it in parents to toyle themselues and bee occupied in getting riches and to bee nothing carefull for their children for whose sake riches are gotten Assuredly there can none more precious and better heritage bee left vnto children then if they bee well and vertuously brought vp from their tender age and be rightly instructed vnto vertue from their infancie This patrimonie remaineth with them continually nothing at all subiect to the stormes and troubles of fortune But wee see two speciall causes Two things which much hinder good education why some parents doe more negligently prouide that their children be instructed to wit too much cockering and niggardship In cockering mothers do more often offend and especially those which haue but few children These doe like as if some Husband man should refuse to till his field because hee hath but one onely Who could suffer this mans follie and peruersenesse of iudgement Is it not much more to be tilled because it is onely one Yes verely that so the profit and increase of one may recompence the want of many euen so after the same sort wee iudge it to bee the dutie of mothers so much more diligently to bring vp their children by how much they are fewer But wee see what doth let mothers The fewer the children the more diligently to be cared for that they bewel brought vp that they loue their children more dearely then that they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight but this is cruel loue so to loue their children that they should bee as it were giuen ouer of their mothers vnto all naughtinesse of which peruerse and cruell loue not a fewe shall suffer the iust punishment which with great griefe of minde and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbrideled wantonnesse and vngratiousnesse of their children vnto which they doe now all too late goe about to prouide a remedie The second cause which hindereth good education On the other side niggardship is oftentimes greater then that parents will bestow the cost Whatsoeuer is spent vpon horse-keepers or horse-breakers fooles minstrels dogs hawkes c. that some thinke well bestowed but if they see any thing to be spēt about instructing their children they thinke all that ill bestowed and are much more carefull that an horse bee well framed to vauting and leaping then that their childe bee well instructed to vertue This inconuenience commeth to the minds of children if they bee not well brought vp that they become seruile and open to all sin and naughtines For if a man leaue his field vntilled hee shall finde it to haue brought forth fearne and thistles and such vnprofitable weedes after the same sort if he shall leaue the wittes of his children vnlooked vnto and vnexercised hee shall be sure to reape most aboundant fruite of wantonnes and vngratiousnes The holie Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sonnes as that he that begetteth such a one getteth himselfe sorrow and that the father of a foole hath no ioy Prou. 17.21 meaneth it not so much of naturall fooles or idiots and such as are destitute of common reason although it is true that is a lamentable iudgemēt of God and a heauinesse to the parents of such a childe as of wicked children such as either are ignorant in the word or not knowing how to order one right steppe to the kingdome of God or els hauing some knowledge abuse it to maintaine their carnall lusts and appetite For this cause as it would griue parents to haue naturall fooles to their children or such as either in some imperfection of nature are dismembred or deformed and misfigured in the
besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall that euery particular child of a faithfull man should be within the couenant or if of many there be but one blessed the promise is performed yea which more is though the faithfull man haue neuer a good child yet if vnto the thousand generation there be but one good the couenant is not broken neither must wee tie the Lord his worke so much to man that a good man may not haue an euil sonne seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes yet hee may visit the sinnes of some of his Forefathers to the third and fourth generation going before To the second wee say that an euill father hauing a good child though the Lord shew not mercie to that particular man therein yet hee may remember his promise to some of the Forefathers in the thousand generations going before and though that an euill man haue no cursed child yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generations following Wherefore not speaking of election or reprobation which we leaue onely to the Lord to make good or bad we exhort parents to vse the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heyres of the couenant or at least be comforted in their own conscience if their children for some cause vnknowne refuse it in that to the vttermost of their abilitie they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well offered them to God And if parents haue cause to bee grieued when thus trauelling in good education they cannot see good in their children how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed bestowed no labour at all to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord And yet many will be grieued for the one that will not for the other Wherefore let vs learne if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities let vs vse the duties thereunto let vs if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children carefully auoid the meanes vnto it and surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Simeon to depart in peace Luke 2.29 leauing our wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord so in death no one thing will bee more grieuous vnto a man then the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to bee furthered to saluation that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him how in as much as hee could hee hath helped thē forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face continuall curses in hell accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules and a cut of their saluation The end of all this briefly is thus much that parents hauing fooles children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe examining themselues and accusing their own soules before the Lord eyther for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate or brutish because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and blood then such as might bee like to Christ by grace and new birth or that they begat their ofspring as meere naturall or very carnall men or because they eyther prophanely neglected all good education or monstrously misliked that in their yong children which they liked in themselues and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts or for that they suffered their children iniuriously to do euill to others which they could not suffer to doe to themselues or vntaught them that at home which was taught abroad or in that they doe lie in some sinne vnrepented of or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation but still loued the flesh of their children and not their soules Let all Parents remember that they are bound by the Law of God and nature as concerning this bodily life to make good and honest prouision according to their degrees for the reliefe and maintenance of their children and familie And therefore such Fathers and mothers as consume and waste away their money and substance vnthriftily by dicing carding gaming or by any other indirect and vnlawfull meanes whereby their children and familie should bee maintayned doe very vnnaturally sinne and breake Gods commandements The wise man sheweth parents when is the best time to sow the seed of vertue in their children that it may bring forth the fruit of life and make them alway readie to die saying Eccles 12.1 Remember now saith he thy Creator in the dayes of thy youth Youth must thinke on death betimes to the end to liue well and die well As if he should say Bee mindfull and thinke on God in thy youth and do not prolong or defer it vntil age And so all their life shall runne in a line the middle like the beginning and the end like the middle as the Sunne setteth against the place where it rose One of the principallest duties that belong to parents towards their children is that they be very warie and carefull Marriage with Papists c. that their sonnes and daughters doe not match in marriage with such as are vngodly wicked and voyd of true religion Which if they doe they endanger the faith of their children and so commit a grieuous sinne For proofe whereof let vs consider first what marriage is how nigh a coniunctiō the Lord hath made it He made the woman of the mans nature flesh of his flesh bone of his bones Gen. 2.23 so that wee may not imagine that in the outward and worser part that that God which required so neer a coniuction wil suffer the mind and spirite of the husband and wife betweene faith superstition to be rent asunder Therfore when God said They shall be two in one flesh Verse 24. We may not thinke but that he spake it of the whole and perfect creature made of bodie and soule that they should bee of two one Or that God did by so holy a Law set free the holiest part requiring onely such agreement in the flesh and bodie and leaue the soule and spirit in dissention For as God gaue vnto both one name as touching their earthly nature signifying their vnity and called thē Adam Genes 5.2 So hee gaue vnto them a likenesse in name as they were ioyned in marriage to signifie their agreement in mind and spirit called the one Man and the other Woman Genes 2.22 23. Yea he gaue vnto marriage this especiall priuiledge Gen. 2.24 For this cause shall a man leaue his father his mother and shall leaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh but it could
know more particularly what sort of persons they be the holy Ghost describeth them to bee such as to whom the gift of continencie is denied yet the gift of procreation is vouchsafed and granted For if mariage as the Apostle saith Hebrewes 13. vers 4. bee honorable among all sorts of persons 1. Cor. 7.8.9 then amongst those that bee strong Againe it is written I say to the vnmaried and to widowes it is good for them if they abide euen as I doe but if they cannot abstaine let them marrie for it is better to marrie then to burne In which words wee may plainly see that hee pointeth out as with his finger those that are called and commaunded by God to marrie namely such as haue not receiued the gift of abstinence and continencie which calling and cōmandement is so much the straighter and the more to be regarded and followed because the Apostle gaue it to those persons that were molested and pressed with many and grieuous persecutions a season of all other most vnfit for any to marrie in In as much as beside the ordinarie incommodities of mariage estate it cannot but bring with it many extraordinarie grieuances and troubles Notwithstanding if such persons bee called and commaunded then to marrie when as there was most grieuous persecutions much more in the time of peace and prosperitie By this then wee see that all persons which haue not receiued the gift of abstinence but of procreation are called and commanded to marrie and therefore meete for mariage and also may lawfully enter a contract of the same But are none else meete for mariage Wee answere that no other is called commaunded or warranted by God to make contract with any of these meet ones because they are vnable to performe the principall duties of marriage As for children vnder age they are altogether vnfit to take vpon them this honourable estate and therefore debarred by Gods commaundement from making any promise or contract if they haue it is but a meere prophanation of this holy ordinance worthie great punishment and also to bee broken if that being come to yeares of discretion and state of mariage they doe not by wisedome and religion supply all that was wanting in their former rash attēpt to the full cōtentation of al that haue interest in them As for those that haue receiued the gift of continencie they are called and counselled to chastitie during the whole time of that gift for so saith our Sauiour Christ All men cannot receiue this thing saue they to whom it is giuen Matth. 19.12 And againe he that is able to receiue this let him receiue it So the Apostle saith It is good for them if they abide euen as I doe 1. Cor. 7.7 Againe Art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife So likewise are those that are borne chaste or made chaste by men or by themselues for the kingdome of heauen But you will say what if any of these doe make a contract and marrie We answere first if they bee vtterly vnfit for marriage with one that is meete their contract is of no validitie and may bee broken by superiour authoritie 1. Cor. 7.27 but if they both bee fit for marriage wee say with the Apostle Art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife but if thou takest a wife thou sinnest not and if a virgin marrie she sinneth not c. Last of all as consanguinitie and affinitie doe restraine and binde from this former contract and mariage so likewise doe naturall frigiditie and coldnes infancie incurable diseases that depriue men of all fitnes for the vse of mariage So as if any such by fraud ignorance or any other sinister means be contracted it is nothing and the parties may be lawfully separated because they were neuer ioyned together in the Lord but against the Lord. And here when wee say meete and free to marrie one with an other there would bee a wise and holie regard had of the qualitie in yeares of agreement in religion of similitude in nature and maners in outward estate condition and qualitie of person and such like necessarie circumstances For what is more vnmeete then for an olde person to promise to bee contracted to a young one for an Infidell to contract with a beleeuer for a good nature and well mannered with a crooked and froward person for a Prince with a begger For although all these doe not annihilate and make voide the contract altogether yet such contracts cannot bee in the Lord. And thus much shall suffice to haue taught touching the fitnes of mariage Now concerning the freedome and libertie it is cleere that those alone haue libertie and freedome to contract who haue liberty to marrie Now if we will know who those be they are diuersly described and noted in Leuit 18. where certaine degrees aswell in affinitie as in consanguinitie are expresly forbidden so that if such parties shall contract themselues together their contract is vaine and a meere nullitie such as ought to bee broken and punished Againe euery one either betrothed or married is bounden and tied from contracting with any other for that were nothing else but to promise grosse and beastly adulterie And the Apostle teacheth that the wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liueth so likewise is the betrothed wife insomuch as if any of these shall contract themselues with another it is a meere nullitie and wicked prophanation of Gods ordinance and ought vpon knowledge thereof to be broken and punished And thus wee see what maner of persons the Lord hath called and commaunded to marrie and who they be that are meete and free to marrie together and who not The last point is the consent and allowance of their Parents which though it be very materiall and necessarie yet it is not the sole forme or formall cause which maketh a true contract For if the parents should yeeld their consent to their children being neither meete nor free to be maried together it were nothing and such a contract though warranted by parents consent ought to bee broken by the parties themselues and the Magistrate and both parents and children punished For this cause we haue not sayd simply and allowed but allowed so to doe because that consent of parents to such children as are meete and fit to bee maried together doth not only make that contract good true and inuiolable which wanting their consents though in other respects neuer so good is a meere nullitie and cannot be accomplished without the manifest breaches of the institution and guilt of adulterie Now by Parents we vnderstand not onelie the naturall Parents but such as by the law of nature and of GOD supply their places as Grandfathers great Grandfathers Aunts great Vncles and Aunts Brethren Sisters Kinsmen and Kinswomen Magistrates and those to whose families the parties doe especially belong For all these are honoured in Scripture by the name of Parents Neither may wee
slaunder of their profession Temperance in apparrell And let them not so much regarde what thing they would faine haue but rather what they cannot well bee without so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of is too deare of a farthing The dutie of Parents towards their children This dutie containeth foure poyntes namely in teaching or instructing them in religion in manners good example of life and skill of an occupation THis dutie consisteth vppon foure points First that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen from the cradle in the feare and nurture of the Lord. Secondly that they bring them vp in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue Thirdly that they be vnto their children examples of all godlines and vertuousnes Fourthly that they keep them from idlenes the mother of all mischiefes and bring them vp either in learning or in some good Art or Occupation whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and trueth when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion The first point 1. Touching the first point Parents are to be admonished that they beare in minde that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children is first that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp that they may become citizens of the church of God so that whensoeuer they themselues shall dye in the Lord they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place but alas there bee few that haue any great care of this dutie It is to bee remembred The children of Christians ought not to be called by any popish name Dan. 1.7 that it is the fathers dutie with all conuenient speede to present the childe to baptisme and there to giue the name vnto his child as may appeare by the example of Iacob and Zacharias Genes 35.18 4.25.26 Luk. 1.63 Genes 16.15 21.3 And it is a thing worthie to bee wished that all parents when and at such time as God blesseth them hauing any childrē borne that then they would giue them such names as are named and commended vnto vs in the holie Scriptures to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion they by hearing those names may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and christian conuersation of those men and women whose names they beare which the holie Ghost hath commended them for and contrariwise to eschue and auoide those faults and vices which are discommended in them We are neither better nor worse in respect of our names Iosua 10.3 The name profiteth none in whom vertue is not commended And yet wee haue to remember that as those children which are named and called by and after any of the names of Patriarkes Prophets Apostles or by the name of any other Saint man or woman are not any thing the better because they haue such godly christian names vnlesse that they doe imitate and follow them in faith vertue and godly behauiour so on the other side they that bee not called by such christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture are not in respect of their names any thing the worse hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloudshedding and leading their liues agreeable to the same For as neither the yearely reuenues nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors and to descend of noble parentage maketh mē noble and renowned in deed vnles they themselues be godly honest and wise so neither the godly names no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers auaileth the wicked and vngodlie children any thing at all vnlesse they repent and become faithfull and godly as they were Let vs here consider that so often as in the race of our life wee doe heare or doe speake of our name it doth put vs in remembrance first of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisme secondly of our promise to God againe And as in times amongst our ancestors Luk. 1.59 and 2.21 Proper names are also giuen vnto vs for this vse and end that is to distinguish betwixt man and man Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised as appeareth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names at what time and place they had their names giuen thē and should thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God and ioyned in league with him and made partakers of the couenant so likewise after the same maner must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme remember beare in mind that we are by grace adopted to be the sons of God and receiued into his fauour and therfore that we are Gods own and as it were his goods and riches as who beare his name as proper vnto him 2. Secondly they must assure themselues that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer that he in mercie would vouchsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares subtilties and temptations of Sathan which their tender age is subiect vnto We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children but they do not marke consider that they are iustly punished by God for that they thinke by their owne industrie and wit to make them good and vertuous without Gods blessing which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest 3. Thirdly let them consider how noble a thing a child is whom God himselfe hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe nourished brought foorth into the light and indued with bodie and soule to the end he should as it were in a table represent God his first paterne Instructing correcting and praying make good children and happie Parents 4. Fourthly let them know that these things are to be dealt withall in order Vnto the bodie nourishment bringing vp apparell and sometime correction that they may keepe their children in awe 1. King 2.2 3. Genes 34.30 Iohn 1.5 Vnto the soule they owe catechising instruction and doctrine and that of two sorts namely of godlinesse and of ciuilitie By the one they shall keepe a good conscience before God By the other they shall obtaine a good report among men For these are the two principall points which parents ought to bee most carefull to plant in this life in their children both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse where he saith Ephes 6.1 Ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in instruction and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his religion so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same that they may as it were suck in godlinesse together with their
this impietie in the sight of God that Noah by the conduct and direction of the holy Ghost cursed both him and all his posteritie And therefore we well and truly may say that those children who in stead of defending the honour of their parents doe lay them open to shame and reproofe and come of the cursed seed of Ham. This dutie of honoring parents The honour due to parents is performed and paied when they doe worshipfully and reuerently esteeme of them as to thinke that â—hey are giuen to them of God Childrens duty is from their beginning to their ending to be subiect obedient and helpfull to their Parents to the end that they should reuerence loue and alwaies haue a care of them if for nothing els yet for the Lord sake who is and doth thinke himselfe despised so long as children contemne their parents and either think or little regard them So then children honour their parents when with their help and counsell they ayde them in their olde age and vnweildie crookednesse when they ease and helpe them in the time of their neede Matth. 15.4 5 6 or succour them otherwise in any case else and do wholly bestow themselues and all that they haue Exod. 21.15.17 Leuit. 20.9 Pro. 20.20 and 30.17 Deut. 27.16 to do them good withall yea they ought not to giue them a rough or stubborne answer or once so much as to mumble or mutter an answere against their parents neither to smite or curse or speake euill of their father and mother vnlesse they will procure the vengeance of God to light vpon them for the same What children do to their parents they doe to God so that they may not purloyne or diminish any of their substance Pro. 28.24 Children haue alwaies to remember that whatsoeuer they doe to their fathers and mothers bee it good or euill they doe it to God when they please them they please God and when they disobey them they disobey God when their parents are iustly angrie with them God is angrie with them neither can it be that they may come to haue the fauour of God againe no although all the Saints in heauen should intreat for them vntill they haue submitted themselues to their father and mother If children and seruants would alwaies keep in minde this saying so to doe and behaue themselues to their parents Matth. 7.12 masters dames as they would haue their children and seruants to doe and behaue themselues to them when God shall vouchsafe to make them parents masters or dames then no doubt they would obey and reuerence their parents masters and dames more dutifully and faithfully then now they doe Matth. 7.2 Luke 6.3.8 For let them assure themselues that such measure as they now meat to their pareÌ„ts masters and dames such will bee measured to them againe by their children and seruants Also children must bee carefull to follow the good examples of their fathers mothers and to suffer themselues to bee gouerned by them and to bee mindfull to bestow all paine and diligence to discharge their dutie towards them and herewithall they must know that they are not at their owne libertie to doe as they list so long as they haue a father and mother to rule them and not to fall out among themselues Psal 133.1 but mutually to loue and helpe one another And yet children haue alwaies to remember that they may not in any case obey their parents when they shall commaund them to doe or say any thing that is contrarie to the word of God And yet they are to bee thought well of For example Ionathan who with others obeyed not his father Sauls commaundement 1. Sam. 20.28 c. 22.17 Dan. 3.18 Acts 4.19 who charged him to persecute Dauid therfore hee is worthily commended in the holie Scriptures For the duties of the first table are alwaies to be preferred before the duties of the second table This subiection therefore that children owe vnto their fathers ought in verie deede to bee vnto them as a ladder or staier Matth. 23.9 to leade them to the reuerence and obedience of God who is our chiefe father As children receiue of their parents three things to wit life maintenance instruction so for these three they owe other three namely for life they owe loue for maintenance they owe obedience for instruction they owe reuerence For their life they must feruently loue their parents for their maintenance they must dutifully obey their parents as masters and for their instruction they must cheerefully reuerence their parents as their Tutors And further children must remember that the Lord hath giuen to them their parents to take of them their beginning of life and that they might nourish and bring them vp and of rude and almost brutish things they might make them able to helpe liue of themselues yea and such mothers as are godly and vertuous doe suffer and endure more paine griefe in the bearing bringing vp and nourishing of their children then the fathers do So that greater are the pleasures and good turnes that christian parents do for their children greater is the cost and labour that they bestow on them and greater is the care griefe and trouble which they take for them then any man how learned so euer he be is able to expresse And therefore if there were no other reasons or causes to moue children greatly to loue to esteeme well to obey to be kinde faithfull and dutifull and to reuerence their parents and that with such a reuerence as commeth from the hart yet these were sufficient Maides and young women are to be put in minde and alwaies to remember that the best portion the greatest inheritance and the most precious iewell that they can bring them on their mariage day is Shamefastnesse the want whereof is most hurtfull in all women And therefore they must carefully shunne and auoide all idle and wanton talke nice lookes dalliance and light countenance when they walke abroad or bee in companie A man needeth many things as wisedome eloquence knowledge of things remembrance skill in some trade or craft to liue by iustice courage and other things and qualities moe which were too long to rehearse and though some of these be lacking yet he is not to be disliked so that he haue many of them But in a maide no man will looke for eloquence great wit ordering of the Common-wealth prudence c. Finally no man wil looke for any other thing of a woman When a woman loseth her honestie then hath she lost her chiefe treasure but her Honestie the which onely if it be lacking she is like a man that wanteth all that hee should haue For in a maide the honestie and chastitie is in stead of all She verily may trulie be said to bee an euill keeper that cannot keepe one thing well committed to her keeping and put in trust to her with
seuerely inioyned to all men and vnder so great a paine layd vpon thē yet it is so generally neglected of the greatest part that wee may rather complaine of it iustly with griefe then haue any hope of the speedie reformation of it for besides that a great many haue no care to sanctifie the day themselues and therfore cannot with any conscience require it of their seruants and children but either set them to worke or to play and to doe any thing vpon that day sauing that which they should and doe encourage them thereunto by their owne ill example and words There be others also who though they seeme to haue some care to keepe holy the day themselues and haue in deede yet either through ignorance or negligence doe not once look to their household whether they come to Church or no and sit there attentiuely and cōtinue there with profit to the ending nor how they spend the rest of the day but being demanded where their seruants were how chance they came not to Church c. they answere securely and as they thinke sufficiently as though it were a thing meerely impertinent vnto them that they cannot tell they do not hinder them from the Church they may come if they will they are of age to looke to themselues and they are past boyes now and I cannot tell what c. But they must consider besides that which hath bin alreadie spoken concerning this matter that they doe too foolishly and grosly imagine to stop as it were the mouth of the Lord with that simple answere in his busines which they will not receiue at their seruants hands in their owne For in the sixe daies when their seruants are in their owne busines they will not let them come and goe at their owne pleasure and content themselues with a bare imagination that they bee at their workes but will bee sure of it and therefore set them to it look vpon them in the doing of it and call them to an account for it which if it bee well done in themselues because they know otherwise they will be negligent how must it not needs then bee a great vnkindnes and vnthankfulnes in them vnto God that vpon this day which is but one among seuen his seruice should be so slenderly looked vnto that there is no such diligence vsed towards their seruants that they might performe it And how must it not needs bee a great iniurie to their seruants who are naturally and for the most part more negligent and careles in Gods seruice by reason of their corruption then they can bee in the seruice of men to be depriued of that benefite of their gouernours which is the chiefest and for which cause especially they are committed to their gouernmēt namely to be furthered by them in the seruice of God but vse them more like beasts then men euen that they might be seruiceable vnto them and then care not whether they serue God or the diuell We know that seruants looke to be preferred by their masters and so there is good reason when they haue serued them faithfully but what kinde of rewarde is this that when they haue bestowed some earthly benefit vpon thē by hauing no care to make them serue the Lord and sanctifie his Sabboths doe in the end not onely make them lose the euerlasting reward but preserue them to eternall destruction Especially in great households where there are many seruants Moreouer there are a companie of idle Seruing-men who being brought vp idely all the sixe daies and in them hauing nothing at all to doe and are neuer almost looked after vpon the seuenth day are as idle and as little regarded as vpon the other and as they neuer almost doe any good daies worke to their masters for they haue nothing to do so much lesse doe they spend any Sabboth in the Lords seruice but they especially are left to go and come at their will Others that haue any office of great charge and attendance as the Cookes Butlers and such like in great houses seldome or neuer come to the Church and that but by peeces either when halfe is done or els they are readie to depart before halfe be ended and so both hinder the Lord from that seruice which he shuld haue by them and them from that blessing which they should inherit this way and both cause the name of God to be ill spoken of and pull vpō themselues and them that curse which belongeth to the continuall polluting of the Sabboth And how can they looke that that seruice and that meate and drinke should doe them good which is thus prepared and bought as it were with the continuall danger of the soules of their seruants besides the dishonor of the name of God When Dauid had inconsideratly desired to drinke of the water of Bethleem three mightie men brake into the hoast of the Philistines and drew water and brought it to him but hee would not drinke thereof but powred it for an offering to the Lord and said 2. Sam. 23.15.16 Oh Lord bee it farre from me that I should doe thus is not this the blood of the men that went in ieopardie of their liues How much lesse then ought men to eate drinke that for which their seruants doe venture the liues of their soules And besides if wee iustly finde fault with them who doe neuer or seldome preach to the people committed to their charge and so cause their soules to starue and die eternally how can they bee blameles who seldome or neuer bring their seruants to the preaching of the word And must they not needes be culpable of the same iudgement before God seeing it is all one with the seruants whether they liue in the places where the word of God is not preached at all or if it be yet they come not vnto it Obiection But whereas men are readie to obiect that in a great familie many must needs be absent We graunt it to be true Answer in some part that is at some time vpon some occasion but so ordinarily so continually as they thēselues in their owne consciences are priuie of who make this obiection we know no necessitie that can excuse that Nay we are sure that the Lord hath laid no such calling vpon any man that should keep him in a continual breach of the Sabboth and therefore both master and seruant may suspect that he is in such a calling as is not agreeable to Gods word or that he vseth it not aright when it maketh him if not wholly yet for the most part to neglect the seruice of God vpon the Sabboth day And wee know where there is a great care to serue and please God by prayer the Lord will giue to them such wisedome that they shall be able to redeeme if not the whole yet at least a great part of the day which otherwise will be mispent namely by letting passe many needelesse things preparing so
running for counsell in euery light matter or else may take a wrong course except hee can stumble on the right way by good hap This obseruation and pondering of euents with the causes that went before is the ripener of wit But idlemindednesse and carelesse letting passe of matters maketh an emptinesse in the head of such good things as make one man excell an other Thirdly in following thy calling let not iustice Iustice is a vertue that yeeldeth to euerie man his owne and vpright dealing be forgotten but order thy dealings by theÌ„ If there were no other yet this reason should weigh with thee that so thou mightest looke to reap good dealing at other mens hands as it is said Pro. 25.21 He that followeth after righteousnesse and mercie shall finde life righteousnesse and glorie Where as such as measure out hard measure to others they haue the like measured to them againe according to the saying of our Sauiour Christ besides the riches gotten by ill meanes haue a heauie destinie vttered against theÌ„ The gathering of riches by a deceitfull tongue is vanitie tossed to and fro of them that seeke death Pro. 21.6 As iustice and equal dealing toward all men must be looked vnto so God will haue vs not to omit mercifulnesse Mercifulnesse is a passion of the mind towards those that vndeseruedly and shamefully are afflicted proceeding from those that be affected with pittie and compassion and frendly dealing to the poore Be not then so tied to thy businesse that thou canst neuer looke out to the necessities of others nor spare time to serue his occasions Among many waies of helping the poore which are commanded this is one to go or ride for theÌ„ to saue them from wrong or to further them in their right to be their mouth to plead for them when by feare and simplicitie they cannot plead for themselues And toward them especially a sparing hand is forbidden and that with a sore item Psalm 16 3. Gal. 6.10 Heb. 6.10 and 13.16 1. Iohn â— â—6 Prou. 22.9 Prou. 25.13 He that stoppeth his eare at the crying of the poore he shall also crie and not bee heard And liberalitie is perswaded with a sweet promise and especially to the Saints and faithfull Pro. 19.17 He that hath mercie vpon the poore lendeth vnto the Lord and the Lord will recompence him that which hee hath giuen If any feare that if he tie himselfe so short as neuer to passe the bounds of equitie besides open his hand so wide to the poore he shal neuer liue and thriue of his calling let him remeÌ„ber what is written Prou. 16.3 Commit thy works to the Lord and thy thoughts shall be directed And let that promise encourage him to follow the Lord whither soeuer he calleth notwithstanding any feare or misdoubt Besides let him haue that in minde which is in Pro. 28.22 against couetousnes posting to be rich A man with a wicked eie hasteth to be rich and knoweth not that pouertie shall come vnto him And againe in the 20. verse He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent Whereto agreeth that of S. Paul 1. Tim. 6.9 10. He that wil be rich falleth into tentation and snares c. Prou. 13.11 and 20.21 Contentation is a Vertue whereby a man is well pleased with that estate wheâ—ein he is placed 1. Tim. 6.6.7 Phil. 4 1â—.12 Matth. 6.11 Heb. 13.5 Hereunto men must ioyne Contentation with that allowance which God as a wise Father that knoweth what is best maketh vnto them for a restlesse and vncontented minde breedeth haste-making to riches dryeth vp the riuers of liberalitie and setteth the conscience vpon the racke and stretcheth it beyond the bounds of equitie and iust dealing when hope of gaine is offered Wherefore Salomon to preuent these euils in men to make them to like of their present estate he telleth theÌ„ that Better is a little with righteousnes then great reuenues without equitie Pro. 16.8 15.16.17 Psal 37.16 And in the 20. chapter there is a double reason set downe of this first that store gotten with wrong breedeth a sore trouble Esa 33.1 Pro. 22.22.23 Eccles 5.7 and 4.1 sometime of mind and conscience and sometimes outward while the right owner of the goods suffereth him not to go so quietly away with them or God stirreth thee vp an enemie mightier then thy selfe that shall pull from thee as thou didst from another The second is that such haue the hatred of many for that which they purloine or get by wrong oppression which a good man would not haue for so small commoditie Hitherto we haue shewed what thou must looke vnto in following thy calling Now follow other things not vnworthie to bee thought vpon of him that would prouide for his family well To spare that thou maiest haue to spend in honestie and necessitie for Gods sake is well done Though we would not haue a man faine himselfe poore and a niggard when he hath aboundance as a number do by whyning and complaining without cause who are neither good to the common wealth nor kinde to themselues Yet it is not wisedome to carrie a higher port and countenance in the world A thing is sooner spared then gotâ—en then a mans abilitie will warrant such shall be enuied so longe as they doo beare it out by the hard-edge Cut thy coate according to thy cloath and eat within thy teder they shal be laide at for charges and if through necessitie in the end they be faine to yeeld they shall be scorned of their enuiers and little pittied of all others Wherefore it is wisedome rather to beare a low saile and to keepe within compasse and rather to come short of that thou mightest do remembring that which is Pro. 12.9 He that is despised and is his owne man is better then hee that boasteth himselfe and lacketh bread Againe as they which loue to pearke aloft and desire to bee caried with a full sayle by the winde a Ambition is an vnlawfull or wicked desire of glorie namely when a man seeketh to be aboue al other in honour and seeketh to effect the same by vnnecessarie and vniust actions besides his vocation trusting to his owne wisedome and strength of Ambition and b Vaine glorie is a certaine disordinate desire to be well thought of well spoken of praised and glorified of men vaine glorie rather then to haue sea-roome do oftentimes rush vpon the rocks of want and there sticke till they sincke so they which in feare of such rocks choose to ride with halfe or quarter saile where they haue not roome at will are more safe from danger and may more conueniently prouide against a tempest Yea they may so saile about them that when God shal remoue them hence they shal not be constrained to leaue their children to the wide worlde which thing nature bindeth a man thereunto An other rule may bee drawne out of that
it maketh thee lauish in spending or else it is no good-fellowship as they say by meanes therof thou shalt feede the gluttons and spend that vppon others which belongeth to thine owne familie which Salomon saith Pro. 28.7 Is a shame to thy father Thy companie keeping hath many other enormities Hee that toucheth pitch shall be defiled therewith And as hee is a partie with them in their euils so shall he bee also in their punishment Pro. 13.20 The companioÌ„ of fooles shall be afflicted Wherfore auoide such and rather follow the wise Pro. 11.13.32 He that walketh with the wise shall be wise who are they euen they that haue the lippes of knowledge whose words teach good things But such whose talke is nothing but froth their words vnsauerie and bring no good to the hearer though there be no outward euill in their liues yet they must not be admitted for companions further then vpon some vrgent occasion thou must deale with them Pro. 14.7 Depart from the foolish man when thou perceiuest not in him the lips of knowledge As to haue a faithfull friend is a matter auailable to thrift so by his friends a man may bee endammaged There is a friendship which is very costly and chargeable to maintaine Hee that desireth familiaritie with great men must haue other things suteable as costly apparell well trimmed houses often inuitings to bankets to recompence their kindnes he must follow their humours and not stick to neglect his affaires to haue their companie when he may This will cost a man sweetly but what shall he gaine A friendly countenance before his face and perhaps a drie flout behind his backe especially if things goe not well with him for the world then oh it is pitie a frank-hearted man no bodies foe but his owne and such like Saloâ—on giueth thee warning of this kinde of friendship Pro. 23.1 2 3. There is another mans friendship which Salomon would haue thee to auoide as hurtfull vnto thee Pro. 22.24 Prou. 18.19 Make no friendship with an angrie man neither goe with the furious The cholerick man though neuer so good a fellow while he â—s pleased yet is soone turned to hate thee And no heauier foe then hee that was a friend which Salomon declareth Vers 20. A brother offended is harder to winne then a strong citie and their contentioâ—s are like the barre of a pallace If a man could alwaies keepe in with the angrie man which cannot bee done without putting vp many iniuries yet may that bee hurtfull For the Wiseman addeth Lâ—â—st thou learne his waies that is become like to him in furiousnes And that is as hurtfull on the other side for the furious man aboundeth in transgressions Prou. 29.25 which doe often cost him the setting on euen from men who being by his rage hurt or reproached doe watch their occasions to worke him some woe Whereupon we say in a common prouerb The angrie man neuer wanteth woe There bee also Trencher-friends who to winne fauour and good-will will smooth it in words fawne and glauer they will say as you say and bring you tales of your enemie so to feede your humour that he may winde within you a beast that biteth sorest of al tame beasts For while a simple-hearted man suspecteth no hurt he watcheth his occasions to speede himselfe of a bootie a matter that by the counsell of the holy Ghost oft repeated in the Prouerbs is as carefully to be auoided as it is hurtfull to a mans estate If he can do none of these yet hee hath not lost his labour for he had many a good welcome for his faire talke And by often resorting to thy house he hath furnished himselfe with some thing to discredite thee except thou hast walked marueilous warily which a man can hardly doe before flatterers To end this matter of friendship haue some neere friends but not many Choose the best natured and the best graced that is such as besides single-hartednes and plaine simplicitie are by grace brought to haue coÌ„science of their dealing And least vnder a shew of simplicitie wilinesse should bee hid trie before you trust and grow into familiaritie not all at a push but by steps Tell things of no great secrecie as secrets to trie their taciturnitie Be not ouer credulous vpon sight of a little kindnesse to account them amongst thy neerest friends Many haue been wiped of their commodities by falsehood in felloâ—ship Some haue been betraied by vntrustie friends and brought into great troubles Many opening their mindes to bâ—â—bs that can keepe nothing haue their purposes openly knowne and scanned before they can compasse them and so are oftentimes preuented through the malice of their enuiers Wherefore except a man can finde a faithfull friend indeede it is good to remember the olde saying My secrets to my selfe Whereto our common prouerbe answereth Two may keepe counsell if one bee away The Wiseman ascribeth it to follie to powre out a mans secrets lightlie The foole powreth out all his minde Pro. 29.11 but the wise man keepeth it in As hurt commeth by some friends so also by enemies many are sore annoyed What charges in lawing and other troubles bee there in the world through enmitie VVherefore it is good wisedome by all good meanes to auoide breaches which breede enmitie and by all friendlie iust and wise dealing to keepe peace and good-will euen with the meanest The weakest enemie is not to bee contemned It shall goe harde but at one time or other hee will worke thee some displeasure at least his mouth shall alwaies bee open to speake ill to misconster thy actions and to blaze abroad thy infirmities scapes Hee that would haue no enemies must make himselfe none by vniust vnkinde or vnneighbourlie dealing but rather by courteousnes of speech helpfulnes and good neighbourhood to winne the loue and liking of men yet a man may be too wise in this point Many being loth to incurre any mans displeasure will not seeke to vpholde right and equitie speake for the poore stand out to maintaine Gods cause wheÌ„ he is dishonoured by open sinne as swearing lying rayling and such like Many to keepe in withall vse all companies alike for auoyding a mans companie breedeth a grudge But the good will of men is neuer to be purchased with forsaking of dutie Such things as may iustly be ill taken auoide for peace sake Whereof the Wiseman noteth some as medling in other mens matters Prou. 26.17 He that medleth with a strife that belongeth not to him is as he that taketh a dogge by the eares that is casteth himselfe into dangers Prou. 29.9.10 2. Be not hastie to go to law no not in a right cause but agree at home For besides that a man doth seldome scape without great losse in which respect it is also to bee auoided as an enemie to thrift thy neighbour is openly put to reproach becommeth thy mortall enemie and will
that which no neede driueth them vnto Remember that the vertuous woman stretcheth out her hand to the poore and needie Prou. 31.20 She giueth not of her husbands she giueth of her owne she found away to doe good without the hurt of her husband S. Paul requireth 1. Tim. 2.10 that women should array themselues with good workes the comeliest ornament in the world if women had spirituall eyes Acts. 9.36 to discerne it Dorcas in the Acts teacheth wiues how to get this array for shee made garments to cloath the naked and the poore Thus might women finde how to set themselues a worke though they could liue of their owne But such as haue but a meane allowance God thereby sheweth that he will haue them occupie themselues in some honest labour to keepe them from idlenesse and the euils that issue there-from They therefore must labour if not to sell cloth as Salomons woman did not to cloath the poore as Dorcas did yet to cloath her family that they may not care for the colde Let her auoide such occasions as may draw her from her calling She must shake off slouth and loue of ease she must auoide gosseping further then the lawe of good neighbourhoode doth require S. Paul would haue a woman a good home-keeper The vertuous woman is neuer so well as when shee is in the middest of her affaires She that much frequenteth meetings of gosseps seldome commeth better home some count it a disgrace to come much abroad least they should be counted gosseps which name is become odious but they must haue tatlers come home to them to bring them newes and to hold them in a tale least they should be thought to be idle without a cause They perceiue not how time runneth nor how vntowardly their busines goeth forward while they sit idle They know not that great tale-bringers be as great carriers and that such make their gaine of carrying recarrying The wise woman will be warie whom shee admitteth into her house to sit long there knowing that their occupation is but to marke carrie Towards her neighbours she is not sowre but courteous not disdainefull to the basest but affable with modestie no scorner nor giber but bearing with infirmities and making the best of things not readie to stomacke them for euery light matter and so to looke big but passing by offences for vnities sake not angrie but milde not bold but bashfull not full of words powring out al in her mind babling of her household matters that were more fitter to be concealed but speaking vpon good occasion and that with discretion Let her heare and see and say the best and yet let her soone breake off talke with such in whom shee perceiueth no wisedome nor fauour of grace Let her not be light to beleeue reports nor readie to tell them againe Silence is a grauitie when she abstaineth and holdeth her peace from speaking when it doth not become her to speake to fill the time with talke for silence is farre better then such vnsauorie talke Let her not be churlish but helpefull in all thinges to preuent breaches or else to make them vp againe if by the waiwardnesse of othets there be any made Let her not be enuious but glad of the good of others not fond of euery thing that she seeth her neighbours haue but wisely considering what is meet for her selfe and what her state will beare Let her not beg a wish in apparell but sober and modest not nice nor coy but handsome and huswifelike no talker of other mens matters not giuen to speake ill of any for feare of the like measure Matth. 7.2 1. The dutie of the Husband towards his Wife THis dutie consâ—steth seuerally in these three points First that he liue with his wife discreetly according vnto knowledge Secondly that hee bee not bitter fierce and cruell vnto her Thirdly that hee loue cherish and nourish his wife euen as his owne bodie and as Christ loued his Church and gaue himselfe for it to sanctifie it But before we shall speake of these â—hree points we will a little touch the originall and beginning of holy Wedlocke what it is when where how and of whom it was instituted and ordained What wedlock is Wedlocke or Matrimonie is a lawfull knot and vnto God an acceptable a Math. 19.5.6 yoking and ioyning together of b Genes 1.27 1. Cor. 6.16 Ephes 5.31 Prou. 5.18.19 20. one man and one woman with the good consent of them both to the end that they may dwell together in friendship and honestie one helping and comforting the other eschewing whoredome and all vncleannesse bringing vp their children in the feare of God or it is a coupling together of two persons into one flesh not to be broken according vnto the ordinance of God so to continue during the life of either of them Genes 2.24 Malach 2.14 Rom. 7.3 Yoking and dwelling together what it is By yoking ioyning or coupling is meant not onely outward dwelling together of the maried folkes as to be ordinarily in a dwelling place for the better performance of each other mutuall duties Mat. 1.18 1. Cor. 7.10 12 13. 1. Pet. 3.7 Ruth 4.11 12 but also an vniforme agreement of minde and a common participation of bodie and goods for as much as the Lord saith Geâ— 2.24 that they two shall be one flesh that is one bodie This is to bee remembred that Matrimonie or Wedlocke must not onely be a coupling together but also it must bee such a coupling together as commeth of God and is not contrarie to his word and will For there be some mariages made whom God coupleth not together but carnall lust beautie riches goods and lands flatterie and friendship in such mariages God is not thought vpon and therefore they sin the more against him These and such like mariages bee disliked and condemned in the Scripture Genes 6.1 2. Ezech. 10.1 c. Matth. 24.38 39. God did appoint and ordaine Matrimonie himselfe in Paradice so that he is the author of the same Gen. 2.20 Yea and our Sauiour Christ himselfe who being the very naturall sonne of God was borne in wedlocke although of a pure virgin did honour and commend Matrimonie while he did vouchsafe to shew his first miracle Iohn 2.1 at a mariage whereby he did declare that the Lord is able to make the bitternes of mariage sweet and the scarcitie thereof to abound with plentie And the Apostle giueth this excellent title to mariage saying that it is * Mariage honouraâ—â—â— 1. First for the Authour which is God 2. For the time which was during the â—tâ—â—e of Adams innocencie 3. For the place which was paradice Honourable among all Heb. 13.4 that is among all estates and all nations The institution of Matrimonie is an indissoluble bond and knot whereby the husband and wife are fastned together by the ordinance of God and is e 〈◊〉 2.24 Matth.
to loue his wife as his owne flesh 2. Then to gouern her in all duties that properly concerne the state of marriage in knowledge in wisedome iudgement and iustice Thirdly to dwell with her Fourthly to vse her in all due beneuolence 1. Pet. 13.7 1. Cor. 7.45 honestlie soberly and chastly 1. The wife her dutie is in all reuerence and humilitie to submit and subiect her selfe to her husband in al such duties as properly belong to marriage Secondly therein to be an helpe vnto him according to gods ordinance Thirdly to obey his commandements in all things which hee may commaund by the authoritie of an husband Fourthly and lastly to giue him mutuall beneuolence As for the rest of mutuall duties as they may be all comprehended vnder these so there shall be a fitter occasiō to speake thereof Thirdly wee call this promise of marriage voluntary because it must not come from the lippes alone but from the wel-liking and consent of the heart for if it be onely a verball promise without any wil at all and so meer hypocriticall and dissembled though it bindeth the partie that promiseth to the performance of his promise made before God and man yet if the Parents afterwards shall certainly know this and that there was no will nor vnfained meaning at all in the party neither yet is but rather a loathing and abhorring of his spouse betrothed though hee bee not able to render iust and sufficient cause thereof they maye vpon this occasion either deferre the day of marriage the longer to see if God wil happily change the minde of the partie or vtterly breake and frustrate the promise if all good meanes and occasions hauing been vsed none wil preuaile but that the partie rather groweth woorse and woorse For a Contract beeing a willing and a voluntarie consent there is no cause why the Parents and such as haue authoritie and power in such cases when they shall vndoubtedly knowe that the promise was altogither vnwilling and therefore made in meere hypocrisie and dissimulation neither can bee by tract of time or any other good meanes vsed be bettered but rather waxeth woorse and woorse may not breake and frustrate the same For why did Rebeccaes Parents deny her to Isaack neither would send her with Abrahams seruant to bee married Gen. 24 57.58 before such time as they had asked her consent yea when as they said Wee will call the maide and aske her consent do they not plainely shewe that both the law of Nature and the law of God taught them that this consent was of great moment and absolute necessitie And when the Apostle doth commaund men and women to marrie in the Lorde how can that marriage be in the Lord when the one partie doth not onely not loue but hate the other And how can such two become one flesh lawfully when as there wanteth the vnion and coniunction of the heart the true naturall mother of all marriage duties Wherefore this promise must be in this respect at least willing and voluntarie For albeit it is not necessarie neither yet possible that there should bee such great measure of true holy and sanctified loue at that time as afterward for that groweth by little and little according to the blessing of God and the faithfull performance of other duties afterward euen to their liues end yet if it bee voluntarie and vnfained it is enough and fully sufficient to make a true contract in the Lord. So as no man ought to separate those whom God hath thus ioyned Secondly wee call it voluntarie in respect of constraint and compulsion contrarie to a free consent for if eyther partie bee vrged constrained or compelled by great feare of their Parents or others by threatning of losse of preferment of health of limme of life or of any such other like or by any other violent manner of dealing whatsoeuer to yeeld their promise cleane contrarie to the motion of good liking of their hearts This kinde of promise as it doth not binde the partie to keepe it so it ought to bee frustrated and broken by the Parents themselues or by such maisters as may and ought to commaund and rule them in such cases If this were not so how could the parties keepe the commaundements of God giuing them direction whom to marrie First that they should marrie onely in the Lord. Againe that they should not bee vnequally yoked with the infidels neither whereof they can keepe if their parents might compell them or Contract marrie It becommeth rather the Parents to perswade their children by all good meanes to yeelde their consent rather then to drawe them by wicked sleight and cunning drunkennesse or any other wicked and violent meanes For as that is not to marrie in the Lord so all such forced Contracts may bee broken and frustrated by the Magistrate who is Gods Lieutenant to redresse such intollerable enormities among the societies of men For if Parents may deny marriage to such as haue not onely by force and violence obtained the word and body of their childe much more may the Magistrate denie marriage where onely a verball promise hath beene gotten by violent compulsion and so for these causes and in this sence and meaning alone wee conclude that Contract must bee voluntarie Fourthly it must bee a mutuall promise that is either partie must make it to other not the man onely nor the woman onely but both the man and the woman though decencie and order require the man to doo it first and then the woman because hee is her head and shee his glorie and ought to leade and guide her in all things wherein the Lorde hath put a preheminence For if this promise bee not mutually made of them both but of one alone it is no true and perfect Contract And therefore may bee broken by Parentes and such as haue authoritie heerein because the partie vnpromising is not bound by word nor deede but is free insomuch that such a Contract is rather so termed then for that it is any true Contract indeede But if it bee mutuall then it doth mutually and inuiolably binde both so that in this regard neither Parent Magistrate nor any other can or ought to breake it For this beeing fully performed and accomplished is one principall cause of making two one flesh in such sort as it is written Therefore shall man leaue his father and mother and shall bee ioyned to his wife and they two shall bee one flesh c. Genes 2.24 Also that the man hath not power ouer his owne body nor the woman ouer hers and so to bee short hence ariseth all mutuall beneuolence between them And therefore a poynt of great waight and necessitie in no wise to bee omitted in Contract Fiftly we say it must be betweene one man and one woman Where first it is to bee noted that it may not nor ought not to bee betweene any other creatures but mankinde nay neither among brute beastes
thrice on three seueral daies to the end that euery materiall defect might be learned in time when it might bee remedied then after mariage accomplished when it is remedilesse Thirdly it serueth for the keeping and preseruation of honest chastitie seeing by this meanes not onely former promises and contracts but also fornications if any haue been and adulteries may bee descried and discerned For after Ioseph was contracted before they were married she was found to be with childe though without ill demeanour on her part yet it made Joseph so afraid that he had intended in his heart priuatly to relinquish and forsake her and had so done indeede vnlesse Gods Angell had commanded the contrarie Neuerthelesse it was the Contract that discouered this trueth so preserued Maries virginity that the scripture might bee fulfilled which saith A virgin shall conceiue c. If this were not men might vpon knowledge or ignorāce make two seuerall contracts with seuerall persons and commit fornication and adulterie with other mens wiues either betrothed or married and so lose their honestie and chastitie to their great infamie hinderance Last of all it serueth to condemne and auoide all priuate contracts and secret mariages and contrarily to iustifie and grace the honourable estate of mariage aswell in the beginning as in the end thereof that all things touching the same might bee begunne continued and finished in the Lord according to his commandement that his promised blessings might ensue vpon it accordingly This being done the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God as they will answere at the day of iudgement plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues or in their children for which this Contract ought not to bee made If they say they know none or if they declare none then the consent of the parents is to be demaunded which if they yeeld then the consent of the parties is also to bee required And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words or such like I. N. doe willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will and I liue whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meet till which time I take thee for my only betrothed wife and thereto plight thee my troth In the name of the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost So be it The same is to bee done by the woman the name onely changed and all in the presence of the parents kinsfolkes and friends After this the parents are to bee admonished to set and appoint the day of mariage neither too neere nor too farre off but to appoint a competent space of time that it may bee sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised mariage might bee hindered and yet giue no occasion by reason of the length thereof to prouoke the parties to incontinencie In the meane time the parties affianced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of mariage and to behaue themselues wisely chastly louingly and soberly till the day appointed doe come And so with a Psalme and prayer to conclude the holy action 1. Because there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to housekeeping betweene that time and the celebrating of mariages but this is not a chiefe cause 2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts and men and betwixt the prophane and his children For they euen as beasts doe after a beast-like maner being led by a naturall instinct and motion fall together but God will haue this difference whereby his children should bee seuered from that brutish manner in that they should haue a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection and enioying one of another and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another 3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie and the duties of mariage for many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same nor thinke of the troubles and afflictions that follow mariage But the Lord would haue these things thought on and a consideration to be had both of the causes of mariage and the duties to be performed and the troubles to be vndergone A good and carefull householder so ordereth and frameth his household so as it may manifestly appeare that it is indeede the house of a faithfull Christian and that he himselfe is as a pastour ouer his familie that hee instructeth it diligently in the feare of GOD and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continuall exercise in godlines So that in his house you shall finde the chaste wife the shamefaced plaine and modest wife decked without as she is within no painted nor masked thing rendring true obedience to her husband and hauing a carefull eye vpon her familie seruants her children the master father and husband the children and seruants euerie one likewise in his degree imploying himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office approouing his dooings as before God Froward wicked qualities of the minde 1. Cor. 5.10.11 and 6.9 Now like as in the minde there are such vertues as wee haue before spoken of so are there in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions as vngodlinesse despising of Gods word vnbeleefe idolatrie superstition ignorance Gal. 5.19 20 21. 1. Tim. 3.2 3 4 5. churlishnesse lying falsehood hypocrisie vnrighteousnesse swearing backbyting mistemperance drunkennes gluttonie couetousnesse vnchastitie vnshamefastnesse misnourture rashnesse furiousnesse wantonnesse pride presumption vaine-glorie chiding brawling and vnhandsomnesse Who so now chooseth him a wife or shee a husband that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices hee seeketh not a spouse or shee a husband for a right peaceable good honest and christian life but an hell a painfulnesse and destruction of all expedient quiet and vertuous liuing but specially there is little good to bee hoped for of him or her whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth For like as the feare of GOD draweth the whole garland of vertues with it so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods worde bring all vice and abominations yea and shutteth vp the way to amendment When these points and rules are dulie and warilie obserued on either part they may ioyne together and say as Laban and Bethuel said This commeth of the Lord therefore we will not speake against it Oh how happie are those in whom faith loue and godlinesse are married together before they marrie themselues For none of these martiall carnall and clowdie and whining marriages can say that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to their bridall and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse doe flie from them 2. The riches of the bodie 2. After the riches of the minde doe the riches of the bodie follow next as is a comelie beautifull or well fauoured bodie health a conuenient age Beautie c. A beautifull bodie is such
by mutuall consent that they may the better giue themselues to prayer wherein notwithstanding they must consider what is expedient least by this long breaking off as it were from mariage they be stirred vp to incontinencie The second point which is that the husband should not bee bitter fierce or cruell vnto his wife which point is prooued by the sayd Apostle Collos 3.19 Anger in a husband is a vice saying Husbands loue your wiues and bee not bitter vnto them First and aboue all things the husband must bee circumspect to keepe the band of loue and beware that there neuer spring vp the roote of bitternes betwixt him and his wife If at any time there happen to arise any cause of vnkindnes betwixt them The roote of bitternesse to be weeded out with the spade of patience as it is vnpossible alwaies to bee free from it then he must be carefull to weede vp the same with all lenitie gentlenes and patience and neuer suffer himselfe nor his wife to sleepe in displeasure How when the husband ought to reproue Ephes 4.26 And if he shall haue occasion to speake sharply and sometimes to reproue he must beware that he do not the same in the presence of other but let him keepe hiâ— words vntill a conuenient time which is the point of a wise man and then vtter them in the spirit of meeknesse and in the spirit of perfect loue and he must not let sometimes to couer faults Faults sometimes must be couered with loue and winke at them if they be not too great and intollerable Whatsoeuer losse or mischance shall happen vnto him let him take it patiently and beare it cheerfully yea though the same should come partly through his wiues negligence yet let it rather bee a louing warning to take better heed in time to come then a cause of sorrow for that which is past and can not be holpen Euery wise man by his owne experience knoweth Not to take vnkindenesse for euery trifle that he is in this life subiect to manie inconueniences and that of nature he is prone to displeasure and readie to take vnkindnesse for euery trifle specially with his best friends yea soonest with his louing wife who is lothest to displease him Let him therefore beware of this cankered corruption and consider that hee ought most of all in loue to beare with his wife according to Christs example towards his Church who gaue himselfe for it that he might sanctifie it Fphes 5.25 26 27 28 29. and clense it by the washing of water through the word That he might make it vnto himselfe a glorious Church not hauing spot or wrinckle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blame So ought men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies hee that loueth his wife loueth himselfe For no man yet euer hated his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it euen as the Lord doth the Church As if the Apostle had said The husband is to the wife in Gods stead The husbands dutie is to loue their wiues as themselues of which loue the loue of Christ toward his Church is a liuely paterne And because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wiues to excuse their owne hardnesse and crueltie the Apostle willeth them to marke what maner of Church Christ gaue when he ioyned it to himselfe and how he doth not onely not lothe all her filth and vncleannesse but ceaseth not to wipe the same away with his cleannesse vntill he haue wholly purged it and made it holy And seeing that euery man loueth himselfe euen or nature therefore saith the Apostle the husband shall striue against nature if hee loue not his wife which hee proueth first by the mysticall knitting of Christ and the Church togither and then by the ordinance of God who saith that the husband and wife are one that is not to be diuided Husbands may not be rigorous towards their wiues especially when they be new married Prou. 20.3 The husband is alwaies to remember that hee bee not fierce rigorous hastie nor disordered with his wife for then there will neuer be vnitie and concord betwixt them If the wife do not learne to keepe silence and the husband to haue patience otherwise it shall rather bee the dwelling of fooles then the house of friends For where the husband wanteth wisedome tâ— gouerne and the wife patience to suffer they shal be forced it is to be feared in continuance of time to part house or else euery day to bee iarring and brauling The Wife is not to be vsed or intreated as a Handmaide or seruan◠〈◊〉 as a fellow Pro. 8.7 and 14 9. and 15.5 and 18.2 27.22 Pro. 9.1 9. and 19.25 Genes 16.6 Euery married man ought also to remember this that either his wife is wise and religious or else she is foolish and irreligious If he be matched with a wife that is sottish foolish and ignorant of God and his word it will little auaile or profit him to reprehend or chide her and if he be married to one that is wise and religious and knoweth her dutie out of Gods word then one sharpe and discreet word is sufficient because that if a woman be not corrected by that which is wisely and discreetly sayd she will neuer amend by that which is threatned VVhen the wife shall be inflamed with ire wrath malice or enuie the husband ought to suffer her and after the heate is somewhat cooled and the flame quenched then mildly to admonish her for if she once begin to lose her shamefastnesse in the presence of her husband then it is likelie that there will often follow braulings and quarels betwixt them And as the husband ought at all times to shun braulings and quarellings with his wife so much more he ought to auoide the same when they shall bee newly married For if at the beginning she shall haue cause to abhorre and hate him then late or neuer will â—â—e returne to loue him faithfully Therefore at the beginning of their mariage the wise and discreet husband ought to vse all good meanes to winne the good liking of his wife towards him for if then their loue be fixed and truly setled one toward the other The falling out of louers is the renewing of loue although afterwards they come to some household words and grudgings yet it proceedeth but of some new vnkindnes not of old rooted hatred therfore the sooner remedied For loue and hatred bee mortall enemies and the first of them that taketh place in the heart there it remaineth a dweller for the most part all the daies of life in such wise that the first loue may depart from the person but yet neuer forgotten at the heart But if the wife from the beginning of mariage doe take the heart to lothe and abhorre her husband then a miserable life will follow to them both For although
and wisedome vnto him As 1. Pet. 3.6 Ephes 5.33 Ester 1.1 2. c. 12. So that womē may not prouoke their husbands by disobedience in matters that may bee performed without offence to God neither to presume ouer him either in kindred or wealth or obstinately to refuse in a matter that may trouble household peace and quiet For disobedience begetteth contempt of the husband and cōtempt wrath and is many times the cause of troubles betweene the man and the wife If the obedience importeth any difficultie she may for her excuse gently propound the same yet vpon condition to obey in case the husband should persist in his intent so long as the discommoditie importeth no wickednesse For it is better to continue peace by obedience then to breake it by resistance And indeede it is naturall in the members to obey the conduct and gouernement of the head Yet must not this obedience so far extend as that the husband should command any thing contrary to her honour credit and saluation but as it is comely in the Lord Col. 3.18 Ephes 5.22 Therfore as it were a mōstrous matter and the means to ouerthrow the person that the body should in refusing all subiection obedience to the head take vpō it to guide it selfe and to commaund the head so were it for the wife to rebell against the husband Let her then beware of disordering and peruerting the course which God in his wisedome hath established and with all let her vnderstand that going about it she riseth not so much against her husband as against GOD and that it is her good and honor to obey God in her subiection obedience to her husband If in the practise of this dutie she finde any difficultie or trouble through the inconsiderate course of her husband or otherwise let her remember that the same proceedeth not of the order established by the Lorde but through some sin afterward crept in which hath mixed gall among the honie of the subiection and obedience that the womā should haue enioyed in that estate wherein together with Adam she was created after the image of God And so let her humble her selfe in the sight of God and be well assured that her subiection and obedience is acceptable vnto him Likewise that the more that the image of God is restored in her and her husband through the regeneration of the holie Ghost the lesse difficultie shall she finde in that subiection and obedience as many in their mariage haue in deede tried to their great contentment and consolation Further there is a certaine discretion and desire required of women to please the nature inclinations maners of their husbands so long as the same imports no wickednesse For as the looking-glasse howsoeuer faire and beautifully adorned is nothing woorth if it shew that countenance sad which is pleasant or the same pleasant that is sad so the woman deserueth no commendation that as it were contrarying her husband when he is merie sheweth her selfe sad or in his sadnesse vttereth her mirth for as men should obey the lawes of their cities so women the maners of their husbands To some women a becke of her husband is sufficient to declare that there is somewhat amisse that displeaseth him and specially if she beare her husband any reuerence For an honest matron hath no neede of any greater staffe but of one word or one sowre countenance Moreouer a modest and chaste woman that loueth her husband must also loue her house as remembring that the husband that loueth his wife cannot so well like of the sight of any tapestrie as to see his wife in his house For the woman that gaddeth from house to house to prate confoundeth her selfe her husband and familie Titus 2.5 But there are foure reasons why the woman is to goe abroad First to come to holie meetings according to the dutie of godlinesse The second to visit such as stand in neede as the dutie of loue and charitie doe require The third for employment and prouision in household affaires committed to her charge And lastly with her husband when hee shall require her The wife must keepe a good tongue Gen. 20.1 c. The euill and vnquiet life that some women haue and passe with their husbands is not so much for that they commit with and in their persons as it is for that they speake with their tongues When the wife doth holde her peace she keepeth the peace The cause of domesticall combats If the wife would keep silence when her husband beginneth to chide he should not haue so vnquiet dinners neither she the woorse supper which surely is not so for at the same time that the husband beginneth to vtter his griefe the wife then beginneth to scold and chafe wherof doth follow that now then most vnnaturally they come to handy gripes more beastlike thē christianlike which their so doing is both a great shame Silence becommeth a woman and a foule discredit to them both The best meanes therefore that a wife can vse to obtaine and maintaine the loue and good liking of her husband is to bee silent obedient peaceable patient studious to appease his choler if he bee angrie painfull and diligent in looking to her businesse Lacke of knowledge of Gods word is the principall cause why wiues doe not their dutie to their husbands to be solitarie and honest The chiefe and speciall cause why most women do faile in not performing this dutie to their husbands is because they be ignorant of the word of God which teacheth the same and all other duties and therefore their soules and consciences not being brought into subiection to God and his word they can neuer vntill then yeeld and performe true subiection and obedience to their husbands and behaue themselues so euery way as christian wiues are in dutie bound to doe But if wiues bee not so dutitiful seruiceable and subiect to their husbands as in conscience they ought the onely cause thereof for the most part is through the want and neglect of the wise discreet and good gouernment that should be in the husbands besides the want of good example that they shuld giue vnto their wiues both in word and deede One heart and one will For as the common saying is Such a husband such a wife a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. For so much as mariage maketh of two persons one How the loue faithfulnesse and dutie of maried folkes may be kept and increased therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better bee kept and increased and so continued if they remember the duties last spoken of as also not forget these three points following 1. They must be of one heart will and mind and neither to vpbraide or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any waies or to pride themselues in their gifts but rather the one to endeuour to supplie the others wants that
so they both helping doing their best together may be one perfect bodie 2. It doth greatly increase loue when the one faithfully serueth the other when in things concerning mariage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other and the one doth not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other and when of all that euer they obtaine or get they haue but one common purse together the one locking vp nothing from the other and also when the one is faithfull to the other in eating drinking and so in all their necessities and affaires Likewise when the one harkneth to the other and when the one thinketh not scorne of the other and when in matters concerning the gouernment of the house the one will be counselled and aduised by the other and alwaies the one to bee louing kind curteous plaine and gentle in words maners and deedes 3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequious diligent and seruiceable to the other in all other things And this will the sooner come to passe if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall or cannot away withall and what pleaseth or displeaseth them And so from thence-forth to do the one and to leaue the other vndone They must secretly keepe no euill will in their mindes but tell their griefe And if one of them bee angrie and offended with the other then let the partie grieued open and make knowne to the other their griefe in due time and with discretion for the longer a displeasure or euill will rageth in secret the worse will be the discord And this must bee obserued that it bee done in a fit conuenient time because there is some season in the which if griefes were shewed it should make greater debate As if the wife should goe about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience or moued with anger it should then bee no fit time to talke with him 1. Sam. 25.36 37. Therefore Abigail perceiuing Naball her husband to bee drunke would not speake to him vntill the morning Both the husband and wife must remember that the one be not so offended and displeased with the maners of the other 1. Cor. 7.10 11 12 13 14 15 16. Matth. 19.6 Matth. 19.9 5.33 Luke 16.18 that they should thereupon forsake the companie one of the other for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees would therefore forsake the honie And therefore no man may put away his wife for any cause except for whoredome which must be duly proued before a lawfull Iudge But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to commend their state mariage to God by humble and feruent prayer that he for his beloued sons sake would so blesse them and their mariage that they may so christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues that they may haue no cause of any separation or diuorcement For like as all maner of medicines and speciallie as they that goe nighest death as to cut off whole members c. are very lothsome and terrible euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine but a perilous and terrible medicine Therefore euery good Christian husband and wife ought with all care and heedfulnesse so to liue in mariage that they haue no need of such medicine As the holie Scripture maketh mention of many wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly as partly may be seene by these quotations 1. King 11.1 2. Prou. 21.9.22.14 and 25.24 and 27.15 Eccles 7.28.30 So contrariwise the same sacred Scripture also commendeth vnto vs many women that haue been deuout religious and vertuous as partly is manifest by that which hath already been said and also by these places of Scripture Ruth 3.11 1. Sam. 25.3 Pro. 14.1 and 31.10 Matt. 28.1.8.9.10 Luk. 8.2.3 23.55.56 and 14.1 Act. 16.14.15 and 1.14 and 17.4 and 9.36.39 2. Ioh. 1. 2. Tim. 1.5 And whosoeuer shall obserue it in the reading of the word of God shal finde that it speaketh of the praise of as many and moe good women as men yea and we are perswaded that if at this day a due suruey shuld bee taken of all men and women throughout her Maiesties dominions that there would bee found in number moe women that are faithful religious and vertuous then men The wife ought to obey her husband in all things that be honest and agreeable to Gods word Now if a wife be desirous to know how farre she is bound to obey her husband the Apostle resolueth this doubt where he saith Eph. 5.22 saying Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as to the Lord. As if hee had said Wiues cannot bee disobedient to their husbands but they must resist God also who is the author of this subiection and that she must regard her husbands will as the Lords will but yet withall as the Lord commandeth one that which is good and right so she should obey her husband in good and right or els she doth not obey him as the Lord but as the tempter The first subiection of the woman began at sinne for when God cursed her for seducing her husband when the Serpent had deceiued her he said He shall haue authoritie ouer thee Genes 3.16 And therefore as the man named all other creatures in signe that they should bee subiect to him as a seruant which commeth when his master calleth him by his name so he did name the woman also Hest 1.20.22 Numb 30.7 8 9. 1. Pet. 3.6 Iudg. 19.26 in token that she should bee subiect to him likewise And therefore Assuerus made a law that euery man should beare rule in his owne house and not the woman Because she sinned first therefore she is humbled most and euer since the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husbands Lord as Sarah called her husband that is to take them for heads and gouernours Amongst the particular duties that a Christian wife ought to performe in her familie It is a speciall dutie of a mother to giue her children sucke her selfe this is one namely that it belongeth to her to nurse her owne children which to omit and to put them forth to nursing is both against the law of nature and also against the will of God besides it is hurtfull both for the childes bodie and also for his wit and lastly it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe and it is an occasion that she falleth into much sicknesse thereby 1. First Nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end but that she should bestow it vpon her childe We see by experience that euery beast and euery fowle is nourished and bred of the same that did beare it onely some women loue to be mothers but not nurses And as euery tree doth cherish and nourish that which it bringeth forth euen so also it becommeth natural mothers to nourish their children with their owne milke 1. Tim. 5.10 2. Secondly the
neuer be that any vniting onely of flesh and blood should haue found a dispensation from that Law that bindeth mind and conscience Honour thy father and thy mother Exod. 20.12 The holy and faithfull bond of marriage betweene man and wife signifieth vnto vs that most holy Coniunction of vs and Christ with his Church Ephes 5.25 Seeing that this is a Coniunction both of body and soule then such as are christian parents ought to bee carefull that their children may reioyce in it How should that marriage speed well when the bridegrome marrieth such one as to whoÌ„ hee may not say God speed because she is none of Gods friends 2 Iob. 10. 1. Cor. 7.39 But how doe they marrie in the Lord who do marrie the Lords enemies howsoeuer it liketh other to marrie their children yet they ought to see that their children do settle themselues that they may knit their minds in religion where they make their bodies one that so their marriage may bee to them as a looking-glasse to view and behold the loue of Christ Saint Paul giueth this generall rule to all that will marrie that they marrie in the Lord. And to marrie onely in the Lord is not to be led by flesh and blood with fauour credit honour friendship riches or beautie but rather it is to marrie religiously in the feare of God and in the fellowship of the Church of Christ where true christians liue by one faith professe one religion and serue one God Now let vs a little call to our remembrance what fruit such vnequal marriages haue brought forth froÌ„ the beginning The sonnes of God Gen. 6.2.11 As the Iewes might not marrie with the Chananites so christians may not marrie with them which are like Chananites Gen. 24.3 and 28.1 Mal. 2.11 Ezra 9.12 saw the daughters of men that they were faire they tooke them wiues of all that they liked This aduenturous marriage in strange religion did so infect the world that all flesh had corrupted his wayes For this cause God gaue this plaine and expresse law vnto the people of Israel as touching all the Inhabitants of the land of Canaan Thou shalt not giue thy daughters vnto his sonnes Deut. 72.3 4. Exo. 34.16 Surely they will turne away thy heart 1. Kin. 11.2 Ezra 9.1.2 c. and 10.1.2 c. reade the places We may not here thinke that this inhibitioÌ„ serueth now vnto vs as touching Pagans Turkes or Infidels but rather we must assure our selues in the trueth and know that no people in the world are more within the coÌ„passe of this law theÌ„ the papist superstitious idolater The holy Ghost forbiddeth vs to keepe company with Idolaters If adulterie may separate marriage shal not idolatrie hinder marriage which is worse then it and such as are of a strange religion And how can he then permit that wee should marrie with them He commandeth straightly that we should not draw in one yoke with the vnbeleeuing 2. Cor. 6.14 which to doe is as vnseemely as an oxe and an asse to be yoked togither to plough Deut. 22.10 And how can wee possibly deuise to violate and breake this commandement more contumeliously then to yoke our selues in marriage with the vnfaithfull We are charged To offer vp our bodies a linely a holy and a reasonable sacrifice vnto God Rom. 12.1 But if we shall giue our bodies to Papists wee then shall make them one flesh with the Papists and then we may be sure that no corrupt sacrifice can bee a sweet smelling sacrifice vnto the Lord our God Parents may not giue their daughters to a man vnsanctified Gen. 34.14 Here godly parents ought then aduisedly to consider that the strengthning and constant standing in religion of their children is onely of God and from God and not of themselues and therefore although they haue brought vp their children religiously and vertuously and thinke they are so well grounded setled therein that they cannot bee remoued and drawne froÌ„ their sound profession yet they must beware that they doe not tempt God venture their children to walke in that way which so many haue fallen in How can they assure themselues that their children shall abide constant and stand vpright if they shall consent that they may couple themselues in Marriage with Papists Sampson was borne by Gods promise consecrated to the Lord from the day of his birth to the day of his death made Iudge of Israel a Deliuerer of Gods Church and a Reuenger of his enemies very great and especiall tokens of the grace of God in him that it should be continued yet when he would attempt to marrie one of a strange religion he lost his honour and became a laughing stocke vnto the enemies of God Iudg. the fourteenth Chapter and first verse c. and 16.4.17.18 c. Salomon was a wise man Miserable is that man which is fettered with a woman that liketh not his religion as euer was any before him or after him God had indued him with heauenly gifts and had set him vp as a figure of his Sonne Christ yet when he had married with Pharaohs daughter a woman of another religion and a stranger from the Common-wealth of Israel he then fell from worse to worse till at the last hee became a miserable Idolater 1. King 11.4 What was the cause that Ahab King of Israel did worse then all the Kings before him He feareth not sinne which doth not shun occasions he is worthy to be snared which leadeth himselfe into temptation â—o maketh a trap for himselfe Luke 11.4 a man euen sold to worke wickednes in the sight of the Lord aboue all his idolatries and walking in the most wretched wayes of Jeroboam the Scripture layeth this to his charge euen as his greatest sinne that he tooke the daughter of the King of the Sidonians to his wife 1. King 16.28 29 30 31. And least such parents as either haue or hereafter shall marrie their children to Papists should thinke their case to bee better then his because though they marrie theÌ„ to Papists or to Atheists yet they doe not marrie them to any Pagans The wife must be meet as God said Gen. 2.18 But how is she meet if the husband be a Christian and she a Papist Let them consider what the Scripture teacheth them more Iehoram king of Iudah hee maried neither with any Sidonian nor Egyptian neither with Pagan nor Infidell but with one of his owne people and of the Tribe of Israel yet because she had corrupted her religion in her fathers house the Scripture sheweth this to be the cause of all Iehorams sin He did euil in the sight of the Lord because the daughter of Ahab was his wife 2. King 8.18 Yea the Scripture maketh this sin so great that Iehosophat a good king was yet defiled with it and it is reported as a great blemish of his vertuous doings that euer he suffered his sonne
Gods ordinance is broken which is great sinne and wickednesse So then by the word of God none ought to liueâ—idly and to neglect his charge and dutie but ought to giue himselfe to some profitable calling to get his liuing by and to do good to others Although fathers prouide for their children great store of money and huge heaps of treasure yet in three or foure houres al may be wasted and come to nought For much euill commeth through idlenesse It is an euill teacher Hee that doth nothing is ill occupied The minde of man is euer stirring and doing somwhat If it be not doing wll it is doing ill As water though it be neuer so cleare and faire fresh and comfortable yet if it stand still in a pitte or hole or be kept long in a vessell whence it hath no issue it will putrifie and corrupt rotte and smell and be vnwholesome euen so it fareth with children yea and with all the sonnes of Adam if they haue nothing to do no way to bestow their witte they will rotte and prooue vnwholesome and deuise mischiefe all the day long Idlenesse bringeth much euill For as labour and exercise of body in one man industrie and diligence of mind in an other man are sure Fortes and strong Bulwarkes of Countries euen so idlenesse and negligence are the cause of all euil for an ydle mans braine becommeth quickly the shoppe of the diuell And as in all things naturall there is one thing or other which is the spoyle of it as the canker to the rose the worme to the apple and the caterpiller to the leafe so the common spoyle to all youth is the contrary to paines and labour which is idlenesse Therfore is idlenesse worthily called the mother of all euils and step-dame of all vertues The Prophet Ezechiel in his sixteenth chapter verse fortie nine teacheth that idlenesse was one of the principall sinnes of Sodome which pulled downe fire and brimstone from heauen vpon their heads this idlenesse is the diuels confederate for euen as the traiterous seruant while his maister is asleepe and all things at rest setteth open the doore for the theefe to enter in vpon him and spoyle him at his pleasure euen so idlenesse while wee are not aware lying soft vppon the pillowes of securitie openeth the doore for the euill to enter into vs with full swing to the destruction both of body soule S. Mathew saith chapter thirteene twentie fiue verse that while men slept the enemie came and sowed tares among the wheate so the fittest time that the deuill can finde to worke vpon vs is when we aree idle for that is the sleepe of the soule In the 11. chapter of the 2. Sam. wee reade that that while Dauid tarried idely at home in the beginning of the yeare when Kings vsed to goe foorth to battell hee was soone ouertaken with those two foule sinnes of adulterie man-slaughter Oh that men sawe to how many vices and euils they shutte the doore wheÌ„ they cease to be idle and giue theÌ„selues to honest labours and a lawful calling So long as Sampson Iudg. 19. warred with the Philistines he could neuer be takeÌ„ or ouercome but after that he gaue himselfe to idlenesse and pleasure he not only committed fornication with the strumpet Dalilah hut also was taken of his enimies and had his eyes miserably put out If those two which were such excellent meÌ„ indued of God with singular gifts the one of prophecie and the other of strength and such as no labour or trouble could ouercoÌ„e were notwithstanding ouerthrowne and fallen into greeuous sinnes by yeelding for a short time to ease then what crimes what mischiefes and inconueniences are not to be feared of theÌ„ who all their life long giue themselues to idlenesse and loytering But such hath alwaies been the peruerse incredulity of meÌ„s hearts that they wil not beleeue that other men haue perished vntill they themselues perish also If we be vtterly voyde of vnderstanding let vs go to the brute creatures which want these helpes of reason gouernment that man hath and learn of them Go to the Pismire ô sluggard saith Salomon Pro. 6.6 behold her waies be wise for she hauing no guide nor ruler prepareth her meate in the summer and gathereth her foode in the haruest What is it that filleth the prisons and bringeth so many to the gallowes and causeth so many Parents to lament and bewaile the vntimely death of their children but Idlenesse When the poore condemned wretches haue receiued their iudgement and come to the place of execution and stand on the ladder what counsell giue they to young men and to children but to beware of idlenesse What is the cause of such and so many diseases in the bodie Aske the Phisitians they wil tel you Idlenesse Whereof rise rebellions in kingdomes against Princes Whereof rise mutinies and mutterings in Citties against Magistrates You can giue no greater cause thereof then Idlenesse Christ our redeemer saith Of euery idle word that is vaine and vnprofitable trifles Math. 12.36 which the most part of people spend their liues in that men shall speake they shal giue account thereof at the day of iudgement If we shall make an account for idle words what shall we do for idle hands for idle feet for idle bodie for idle soule What account for all our idlenesse especially for wicked deeds shall we make at the day of iudgement Seeing theÌ„ that idlenesse is so noysome hurtful let all christian parents therefore labour and endeuour to auoyd it both in themselues and in their children as a plague or contagious disease Therefore it is most requisit necessary thar Parents doe bring vp their children eyther in learning to learne that science which they be most apt for Obiection or in some occupation handicraft whereby they may get their liuing another day and so liue the better But some vnaduisedly and foolishly doe reason saying What neede is it for noble and rich mens children to haue learning they shall haue ynough Wee answere Answere the greater the Ship is and the more marchandise it carrieth about the more need it hath of a cunning Ship-maister so the greater the childe is both by birth and by inheritance so much the more neede it is for him to be brought vp in learning and in good literature Pro. 3.13.24.15 For learning knowledge and vnderstanding is profitable both for rich and poore So that as the Grecians say Hee that is ignorant and vnlearned seeth nothing although hee haue eyes The life of such a one is as a tree without fruite a day without Sunne a night without moone and starres a house without a man and a head without a bodie It is found by experience which the best schoolemaister that vnto what occupation or science soeuer any young man shall be put to the more skill and knowledge he hath in the liberal sciences so much the more
bind them but also that they bee carefull that they liue honestly God made euery weeke one day of rest wherein seruants shuld be as free as their masters Gen. 2.2 vertuously and christianly And further they may not grieue their seruants with ouermuch labour but alwayes remember that they are not beasts but men so that they ought quietly to gouerne them and also quietly to chide theÌ„ when they shall neglect their dutie least they bee prouoked with ouer hard words remembring that they also haue a Lord master in heauen with whom there is no respect of persons As the laborer which worketh but one day is worthie his hire euen so much more the seruant which laboreth euery day Luke 10.7 As Dauid did limit Ioab that he should not kill Absolon so God hath bound masters that they should not oppresse their seruants 2. Sam. 18.5 Iob. 31.13.14.15 For a good man saith SalomoÌ„ Pro. 12.10 will be mercifull to his beast and therefore he ought to be more merciful to his seruants being his brethren Ephe. 6.9 And let them bountifully reward the iust and faithful labor of their seruants pay them their couenants in a fit conuenient time least being compelled by necessitie they should steale Masters ought not as Tyrants to vse their seruants as their Horses or Asses but to deale with them louingly christianly because they are all members of one bodie whereof Christ Iesus is the head There be some masters that vse their seruants and prentices more like beasts then like men their own members for which their so doing let them assure themselues they must yeeld to God their Master a straight account Oh that christian masters and mistresses would learne and so practise the example of Iobs good vpright dealing with his seruants which was far from rigor where he saith Jf I did contemne the iudgement of my seruant and of my maid when they did contend with mee that is when they thought themselues euill intreated by me What then shall J do when God standeth vp If I had oppressed others how should I haue escaped Gods iudgement and when he shall visit me what shall J answere He that hath made me in the wombe hath hee not made him which moued him to shew pitie and fauour vnto his seruants because they were Gods creatures as he was hath not hee alone fashioned vs in the wombe Hereby then may those masters dames see their wickednesses who wil not heare their seruants speake but vpon a simple surmise and brainsicknes doe euill intreat them by cruell stripes when in trueth there is no iust cause Reuiling words and vnreasonable fiercenesse doth much more hurt to seruants then good Phil. 16.17 Masters and Mistresses ought therefore to vse their seruants and prentices with mildnesse and equity as euery one shal deserue for they must remeÌ„ber that they haue all one God to honour worship one Prince to serue one law to keepe and one land to inhabit and one death to feare and therefore they must speake vnto them as vnto brethren and sisters and deale with them as with christians And let them alwayes remember this namely that God will neuer deale mercifully with theÌ„ if they make not greater account that their seruants doe serue him more carefully then themâ—elues and sanctifie his Sabboths Exod. 20.10 Deut. â— 14 And therefore that master is not worthie to bee serued which can not afford that his seruants should serue God as well as himselfe Hee must giue vnto God that which is Gods and then hee may the better take that wihch is his owne For 1. Tim. 5.8 Hee that careth not for his familie saith Paul is worse then an Infidell because Infidels care for their familie As it is the office of a good householder to carrie the burthen of care trauell and labour so it is the dutie of his wife to bee faithfull in keeping and well ordering of his goods house and to see his her owne their childrens best apparel brusht handsomely laid vp to be patient and carefull to see her husband doe well and both their duties is effectually to giue good examples to be diligent to entertaine peace amongst their familie and to see all things neat and handsome and to keepe due order measure For as the Sunne in the firmament giueth light to all the Regions round about him Seruants doe rather imitate the workes they see their Masters doe then the words which they heare them speake Pro. 29.21 and by his bright appearing expelleth the darknes comforteth cheareth the world euen so likewise should housholders labour to banish sin and corrupt religion out of their dwellings and to be a lanterne of godly life to comfort and shine to their whole familie that so they may direct their liues after their good examples Phil. 2.15 Matth. 5.16 A Master ought so to behaue himselfe with his seruants that hee bee not too familiar with them which many times breedeth contempt but to admonish them often and therewithall not to discourage them from well doing not to be too seuere nor too partiall but to moderate all by discretion For like as the Centurion Luke 7.8 who had many seruants vnder his authoritie and they were all at his becke and Commaundement most readie to obey him in any thing that hee set them about and this good order and submission hee had brought them vnto by the reason that his said seruants were deare vnto him that is hee made a speciall reckoning of them and was as a father vnto them so likewise all masters are in conscience bound to esteeme and account well of their seruants and to vse their authoritie that they haue ouer them mildly and christianly and then if their seruants doe perceiue that they are deare vnto their masters Ephes 6.9 so may the masters in time worke them like waxe to their owne minde except they be such as haue sold themselues to worke wickednesse It is very conuenient that a master of a familie should so dispose and order his affaires and busines that he depart absent himselfe from home as little us may bee for it is an olde saying and a true That the eye of the master doth make the horse fat and the ground fertile for al things are wel and fitly done when the master is present Such house-keepers as haue much and yet spend little are called niggards and they that haue little and yet spend much are holden fooles spend-thrifts and prodigall wasters and therefore they ought to liue in such sort that they be not noted mizers for their keeping either prodigall for their spending The couetous miserable niggard passeth great toyle and trauels in gathering of his riches danger in keeping theÌ„ law in defending them and torment in departing from them But a wise man is not carefull so much for riches and how to liue long as to liue well and die well Some householders