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A93568 The soundheads description of the roundhead. Or The roundhead exactly anatomized in his integralls and excrementalls, by the untwistling a threefold knott. 1. Who the roundheads be, or what a roundhead is in rerum natura, and his pedigree. 2. The reall causes producing a roundhead. 3. The properties and peculiarities of a roundhead. Now published to satisfie the whole world in the resolution of this monstrous beast, who and what he is, and by what markes he may be knowne and seene. Printed at the request of Gregory Scotch-marke (or thirteen-pence-half peny) inhabiting in Barber-surgeons alley, at the signe of the new fashioned Perriwigg: in the yeare of the roundhead his hopes confounded, 1642. 1642 (1642) Wing S4722; Thomason E148_7; ESTC R3274 8,425 12

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THE SOVNDHEADS DESCRIPTION OF THE ROVNDHEAD OR THE ROVNDHEAD Exactly Anatomized in his Integralls and Excrementalls by the untwisting a threefold Knott 1. Who the Roundheads be or what a Roundhead is in rerum natura and his Pedigree 2. The reall Causes producing a Roundhead 3. The properties and peculiarities of a Roundhead Now published to satisfie the whole world in the resolution of this monstrous Beast who and what he is and by what markes he may be knowne and seene Printed at the request of Gregory Scotch-marke or thirteen-pence-half peny inhabiting in Barber-Surgeons Alley at the signe of the new fashioned Perriwigg In the yeare of the Roundhead his hopes confounded 1642. LONDON Printed in the yeare 1642. for I. B. To the judicious Reader AMongst those infinite number of Pamphlets and Libells wherewith this knowing Island to wit the Citie and Countrey is pestered and the ayre thereof infected and poysoned with the sulphurous breathings of their vanitie prophanenesse and lyes every houre producing something new something wicked something foolish little true according to the severall constitutions and dispositions of the Climactericall men of this age from those hourely events and occurrences of persons things and times There is one ignorant foolish wicked Pamphlet or Libell of the Roundheads lately Printed receiving its monstrous prodigious and untimely birth from the wombe of an ignoramus And the which Pamphlet or Libell is as full of lyes and folly as a beggar of lice and a dog of fleas being the most false foolish and ignorant description of the Roundheads And hath occasioned this short discourse following in its due and full season to step forth in the clothing of a Pamphlet to meet with fooles in their folly And by good skill and strength of armes to bray him in a Morter till this ignoramus and his Proselytes be convinced and disarmed of their sordid sencelesse and grosse ignorance in framing so false and silly a description and applying the terme Roundhead to those persons whom there is not the least show of reason or honesty to evince it The judicious Reader is requested to behold really as in a glasse the reall and true description of a Roundhead indeed and to whom it may properly with sound and undeniable grounds and reasons be applyed unto according to the Inscription or Title of this short discourse referring the whole matter in hand to thy wisdome judgement and conscience ever resting a reall Servant to all vertuous Readers THE SOVNDHEADS DESCRIPTION OF THE ROVNDHEAD OR A Roundhead Anatomized in his Integralls or Excrementalls A Roundhead according to the title or inscription of this Discourse being the untying the first knot may be defined or expressed in these twelve severall Expressions or Definitions There be these twelve severall Definitions of a Round-head whereby all men may both know and see what and who he is A Roundhead in Rerum Natura is 1. A white bald smooth pate under a Perriwigg of the newest fashion 2. A smooth round bowle kissing his Mistresse in a long covered Bowling-alley 3. A very tender thing for it must at noone-day weare a long furr'd Night cap. 4. That which onely appeares in the night in bed-chambers like a Ghost or Hobgoblin 5. An Owle in an Ivie-bush who cannot endure the light and sight of truth and honesty as the Owle cannot behold the Sunne in the mid-day 6. In a Circular motion all the day time tossed up and downe like a Tennis-ball by the Racket of every foole from one hazzard to another till it hath worne out all its bowels That is It is a Roundheaded Gentleman in his new Periwigg his head and his wits running round led and carried up and down by every foole from one mischiefe to another till he hath worne out and lost all his wits and his money 7. Is a Civit-catt with a long tayle who is a perfumed odoriferous Perriwigd Roundhead 8. A sweetfac'd Puppy curled and crisped 9. The Counterfeit of a Holland Cheese with a Map on his head 10. A living skull wrapped up in a winding sheet of dead mens excrements 11. A strange homebred Monster carried up and downe in a little house one story high by the learned called a Sedan to a Play-house where any man may see him for twelve pence a peece upon the Stage 12 One covered with a narrow brimmd hatt With a top-top-gallant crowne very flatt And a round blocke under that Well bushed and shagg'd downe to his backe And strongly perfumed with Sacke While his braines doe ake and cracke And his tongue doth sweare and chatt And curse his Brother Roundheads that Turned him into a Counter Ratt These Twelve Definitions of a Roundhead anatomize the Monster to be one who would be thought and called a Gentleman when indeed he is one of the Raskally witles generation or a bladder preposterously blowne up by the stinking breath of some windy brained foole with a Peacocks feather in his hatt vapouring and flourishing in the circle of his owne conceit that he is a naturall Gentleman borne when he is but an artificiall Woodstreet or Poultrey-Counter-feit Gentleman at his best This Superlative admirable wonder among children and fooles is one that par la fortune de la guerre hath lost his naturall haire from his naturall head and thereupon he is deprived of his naturall witts his haire being newly gone his witts went presently after a wooll-gathering and along while scattered as fast as they gathered till at length meeting with a deere and neere friend of his Gregory Scotch-mark a mile beyond Holborne-hill a notable Mountebanke of approved skill in the cures of all diseases who adviseth him to some artificialists whom he furnisheth with all the dead men and womens wooll of their heads which comes under the shaying of his hands every Sessions who being of notable skill in the excrementall art doe at the proper cost and charges of this distressed Gentleman so compose contract and weave this wooll that it is made an excellent covering to hang about his noddle and then he becomes immediately at the first putting on and so forwards an artificiall Gentleman Roundhead And they passe and are esteemed by many for Squires and Gentlemen of no little wit and furnish the Arithmeticians of the age with figures and cyphers whereby in the Arithmeticians accompt they are reckoned and cast up in haire infinite but in wit meere Cyphers 2. The reall Causes producing this Roundhead There are severall causes in Nature naturall causes therefore according to our description in the Title we must anatomize this Roundhead in his integralls and excrementalls from his Round head to his round heele the discussion whereof will complete the causes producing this Roundhead For his Integralls in generall His soule and body throughout in all and every part his whole naturall frame and constitution is for the present a rude vast unpolished Chaos of sin iniquitie a person who is sold under sin a slave and vassall to sin the
Devill the world the flesh full of all darknesse corruption and filth being most contrary abominable to all beauty light goodnes libertie and sweetnesse So that where there is so universall a contagion and confusion such a leprosie of iniquitie throughout and all over it must needs follow undeniably that here is sufficient matter for the producing of this round-headed Monster As will more conspicuously appeare in the particular anatomizing or embowelling of this Monster in his Integralls First He is a person whose heart is filled with all manner of prophanenesse basenesse and wickednesse as pride uncleannesse adultery fornication idolatry superstition atheisme hardnesse of heart hatred envy full of all deceitfulnesse lves falshood evill thoughts purposes intents full of treasons and conspiracies against all that is pure good holy heavenly and spirituall witnesse the very consciences of the Round-heads themselves if they will looke into them and but heare and suffer them to speake Secondly He is a person whose mind and intellectuall part is full of blindnesse darknes simplicitie grosse ignorance yea palpable grosse thick darknesse that may be felt yea wilfull blindnesse knowing nothing in any distinct manner of God or of goodnes of vertue or themselves but yet strongly perswaded and conceited in the imagination of their own evill heart formerly described of their owne wisdome goodnesse and vertue And for the proofe of this witnesse all their Pamphlets all their discourses all their railings cursings and slanders from day to day Their Pamphlets filld with nothing but prophane foolish uncleane words and expressions there being nothing substantiall or wise according to truth in them Their discourses being irrationall simple shallow blind yea sottishly ignorant professing themselves wise and yet knowing nothing at least wise as they ought to know as the Wise man in the Proverbs 28 Chap. 5. ver proves in these words Evill men understand not judgement but they that seeke the Lord understand all things They are foolishly and wickedly ignorant They in their discourses brag of learning parts wits knowledge but they are ignorant and understand not Religion vertue manners It hath been as often proved as there be houres in the day minutes in each houre That these Roundheads according to the former description who are the Round-heads indeed in rerum natura when they have been in dispute and reasoning with those whom they and their proselytes formerly falsly called by the name of Roundheads who are indeed those whom the Wise man in the place aforecited called Seekers of God and who understand all things I say they have not been able to make a rationall or true answer to Questions demanded them nor defend any argument of their owne from being torne in pieces or vanishing into smoake and ayre but they have been forced like Ignoramus himselfe to hold their peace and learne wit or if shame and disgrace troubled them then when they wanted wit to make a rationall answer then to be sure their gracelesse hearts and tongues did not want curses lyes oaths slanders and railing 3. For his body both integralls and excrementalls see the causes producing a Roundhead He is one whose head and braines is elevated with Sack strong drink and Tobacco whose eyes are full of adultery his face with patches and plaisters or some of his Ladies favour-sports his whole body is embalmed to preserve his rotten carkase from offending the nostrills of his friends and companions or else his face is full of skarrs cuts and wounds in quarrells with brothers of his owne Tribe when they cannot agree in swearing and lying His nose if not falne downe flat dead on his face already yet it is to be feared it cannot stand upright long His tongue may be compared to the Devill yea hell it selfe breathing forth nothing but oaths curses railings bawdry every moment His hands and feet ever in one quarrell or other or employed in some brothell-house in the lustfull embraces and hellish claspings of some of his filthy and uncleane Mistresses and whorish Ladies till he returnes home lame full of the heavy disease by the vulgar sort called the Poxe And thus you have the Integralls of this Roundhead described from the particular causes producing a Roundhead which in plaine termes and few words is this The evill heart manners of these men bring them to the Poxe the Poxe eates of their naturall haire and so they become Roundheads And thus went the haire away the Gentleman becomes bald his witts here going first away and a very little returning to him upon the cure in part wrought he consults with the artificialists and excrementallists of the time that he may bring up a new fashion to make Perriwigd Gentlemen And so we passe to the untying of the third knot which is 3. The reall properties and peculiarities of a Roundhead whereby he may be notoriously knowne and seene by any judicious observant eye And these properties are not a few but so many as we shall really collect and comprise within the compasse of this short Discourse we shall endeavour to give the world information of The Gentleman Roundhead being now created and formed by those former producing causes now you shall see him fashioned in all his excrementall perfections The which I will comprise under these five heads and so finish the Discourse He may be described 1. By his cloathing 2. By his posture 3. By his discourse or language 4. By his associates and his bastard brood 5. By his actions First for his clothing a singular property he loves rich clothing and borrowes of all Nations a severall dresse attire he hath infinite mind for change of rayment as the haires of his Perriwig be infinite and past numbering Therefore we must begin to reckon from the first artificiall haire in his Perriwig to the last artificiall stitch in the soale of his Bootes hold hold hold what have we said we must begin there we must give our selves a just correction we doe take a cubit from his stature at least and detract from one of his greatest perfections by making a dwarfe of a proper Gentleman And our mistake would have been so grosse if we had not speedily collected and corrected our thoughts as to have undertaken to have given the description of the height of Pauls onely by relating the height of the Church when wee should describe the height of Pauls by the Steeple But having timely corrected our thoughts wee shall endeavour to begin at the height and top of this Roundheaded Gentlemans perfection Onely a little by the way observe it as one of his chiefest properties that he loves and prides to be clothed with the newest fashion And therefore he is full of invention and his thoughts multiplicious and fruitfull how he may have change of attire and fashion yea rather then he will want any one fashion he will so contrive by the advice of his grand and little and nimble councell the professors of the crosselegd art who