far from knowing how to end this Discourse as I profess I know not yet where to begin it and indeed when I have writ all I can on it I fancy I can make no other than this whole-sale judgment of it That beauties universal governing Power is of a miraculous nature like that of the Ebbing and Flowing of the Sea every body may daily see its strange effects but none can give a good reason for the true cause therefore I am sure my weakness ought not to attempt what the strength of wit and Philosophy could never perform So that I am resolv'd to venture on this Subject but as little Boys do on a great River not hazard far on it for fear of being lost in it but content themselves with wading a little on the Brink of it and there to dable and wash them out of the reach of its great depth and fierce stream And though I know that the cause of Mens so enslaving themselves to handsom Womens power cannot spring but from a mean slavish nature and so ought not to be look'd upon better by any considering Men than a kind of Kingdom in the Moon or Fairy Land only hatch'd by the fiery amorous Love of a high lustful and enflam'd distemper'd passion seated in the vain Aiery Region of meer foolish imagination being not grounded on any foundation of true reason or good consideration Yet I cannot imitate the Map makers who still leave a blank for their Terra Incognita but I must fill up my Paper and rather than not write more of it I will leave of scratching my head and breaking my brain any longer about it to find out how and where to begin this desperate Subject it being like a Coal all over red hot there 's no touching it in any part without burning one finger 't is like a Hedge-Hogg all over prickles so that 't will be almost as hard a task for me to know how to hit upon a safe good way to begin this Discourse as to find a sure means to put an end to Womens governing power But since I must begin I will as all Builders do never mind to have the first foundation stone cut into any shape so I am resolv'd to lay my first entrance into this Discourse on the Courtships and power of the Welch Ladies for there I fancy the Men take no pains nor use any arts to square or polish their Addresses but only take what comes uppermost as they arise out of pure Natures Quarry And truly I am of opinion that according to the Rules of sober reason and naked truth the Welch ought to be esteem'd the more for it since as 't is a general approv'd Rule that of evils we ought still to choose the least so sure by the same rule of proportion we ought of troubles to choose the shortest which being granted we must necessarily come to own that the Welch Courtship and manner of making Love must needs surpass our great Masters of that Trade the French for the Welch are all plain honest dealing Men and good kind friends who are well acquainted with one anothers humors and therefore esteem it superfluous to make many words to a Bargain which makes them railly both the English and the French who they say dare not approach their Mistrisses but with humble looks and obedient postures speaking as Solomon says Prov. 6.13 With their feet by making so many Legs before they come to them and those with as much exactness as Poets make Verses where every syllable must be weigh'd that they may keep just Measures and true Cadence as well in their approaches as addresses Nor dare they speak to them but with large Harangues of Praises still besieging their Mistrisses with Armies of Complements in admiration of their beauty and perfections and most of these fierce great Lovers I had almost said worse differ and excel one another in their manner of Addresses means of Approaches expences in Presents degrees of Courtship and ways of Treating and the like whereas the plain dealing honest Welch-men are most of an equal kind of breeding and birth being all Gentlemen of Wales and most of them high born which is a truth all that have Travell'd thorow their Country will easily believe since really in one sense few of them can be other considering the many elevated Mountains their Country is made up with and yet I often observ'd in my Travelling through it that the Men of that Country are generally of a very plain breeding and much of a level Capacity for though Wales is highly seated yet 't is but of a short extent which occasions the whole Country to lie under the same degree of Elevation And as the Welch Gentry have for the most part an aversion to the Roman Doctrin so they have no fancy for Romance Courtship few studying the one and fewer practising the other and yet for all they are both great Vertuosos and expert Soldiers in the Art of expeditiously managing a Venus War and can sooner take by storm the Fort of their Welch Mistrisses heart than the English or French can finish their Approaches to gain so much as the outworks of their Mistrisses civil and favourable Looks But I am stray'd from my Theme and therefore I 'll conclude my Welch Travels and Interloping Discourses of Wales leaving the Welch Cavaliers to the power of their own Country Mistrisses And take notice how we are now in England shrunk into such a Brood of unmasculine Petticoat Men that are such adorers of their Mistrisses beauty as they cannot behold them but through the magnifying Prospective of their own enflam'd lustful passion and amorous folly which renders their Mistrisses beauty so large and Charming and their Power so high and Mighty that like the possessed man in the Gospel they will run thorow fire and water in their Love fit and to feed their momentary flames will venture those of everlasting Burning This wretched sort of Slaves to Womens Power who in their Courtship and Addresses to gain their Mistrisses hearts do so desperatly hazard the loss of their own Souls by offending God in their words and actions resemble exactly those People of Jerusalem and Judah which the Prophet Isaiah cap. 3. v. 8. speaks of They are fallen down because their Tongue and doings are against the Lord provoking the Eyes of his Glory And now the Prophet has told you their fault he will also tell you their punishment The Lord of Host will take from them the Judg and the Prophet the Prudent and the Ancient and will give Children to be their Princes and Babes to be their Governors and pray what is the consequence of this noble Infant Government why the Prophet tells you Vers 5. And the People shall be oppressed one by another every one by his Neigbour the Child shall behave himself proudly against the Ancient and the base against the honourable c. And as 't is a practical Art in Oratory to keep
of their Visiters esteeming it but a part of modish Repartee and fine breeding to ralily at and censure others and to make sport at their infirmities nay often create falts meerly to make sport so they be but wittily invented no matter how unjustly they are raised sure such Ladies never read that saying of Solomon That to do mischief is the sport of a fool and he that uttereth a slander is one and therefore she must be much worse than a fool that not only vents but invents slanders How common is it among our vain witty Ladies to make a quarrel rather than lose a Jeer and disoblige a good Neighbour sooner than stifle a witty Jest and so as the Wise man says make sport with casting out Fire-brands never considering at least not caring that an unjustice done to your Neighbour is a sin against God for tho you really only aim it at your Neighbour yet being forbidden by God your disobedience renders it a sin against God himself And 't is little less to Jeer at any ones natural defects or infirmities as being born ugly crooked or the like since 't is in a manner reproaching God for making them so But why should I spend time in taking notice of Ladies jeering at others ill shapes bad faces or little wit when many of the young Atheistical fry of our times are so profane as to pick out faults in Gods sacred Word and so railly at what they ought to adore and can only hope to be saved by I am sure our blessed Saviours Doctrin is so far against the scandalous abuses and censures of the Age wherewith some reproach their Neighbours who have been possibly injurious to them that he forbids us to return them never so little tho they are giving us never so much but commands us not to rail and jeer at them that jeer and rail at us but to pray for our Enemies and to do good to those that spitefully use us God having instituted it as a Fundamental Law to Mankind not to do our Neighbours any harm in Body Goods or good Name but to do them all the good we can in every of them In short this is the sad and unequal deportment of most vain handsom Ladies both as to themselves and others which is to be angry with their Neighbours without a Cause and never to be angry at themselves tho they have one many of the vain Ladies esteeming it a sufficient ground of quarrel and anger at other young Ladies for being more handsom than they but forget at the same time to be offended at themselves for being less pious than them in not loving their Neighbours as themselves for if they did they would never offer what they would not take But so vain and wicked is our Age as common Custom and little Consideration makes many of the vain witty Ladies to fancy that Romantick Lies and detracting Jeers are but Wind which if granted yet it cannot be denied but the often repetition may unite them into a storm of sins for does not experience teach us that light flakes of Snow that singly scarce weigh any thing being but a kind of half congealed Atoms yet do often by their long united Confluence swell into an ability of destroying Houses and Families in spite of their greatest resistance Solomon says Prov. 16.27 That an ungodly Mans lips is as a burning fire and in the very next Verse seems to explain what he means by a burning fire a froward Man soweth strife and a whisperer separateth chief Friends as I said before how common is it among the vain Ladies of the times to lessen their handsom Neighbours beauty meerly on design that by Eclipsing it they might make their own shine out the Clearer and often to raise scandalous Reports to blemish her Reputation among her Friends and Lovers it being indeed too common a practice among them to whisper about ill Reports of their Neighbours as told them abroad from others when really they were Coin'd at home by themselves O vain Ladies if you will not for your own and shame sake at least for vertue and honour sake abandon raising all wicked scandals on your Neighbours and banish from your practice all impertinent senseless strifes all censuring twatles and sharp offensive scoffs which tho a mode vice is so great a Crime as it truly requires a strict Repentance and a high Reparation for the offence to the Persons so injured and that such scandalous Jeerers would for the future as David says Keep a Bridle in their Mouth that they offend not with their Tongue and so new mould and well regulate it as instead of using it as an Engine to rack their Neighbours Reputation with they may henceforward employ and consecrate it to the setting out and stretching forth their vertue and good name and let all your strife be in a pious Emulation of vertue and holiness and in religious endeavors who shall excel and take place in the true and constant practice of them in their lives and conversation for in them consists not only the greatest wisdom highest wit but also the best breeding and most sublime and splended beauty being the everlasting one of holiness besides that of pure honour indeed for Gospel Heraldry must ever be the very best for the greatest Monarch in this World must live a sinner but the mean est Woman in it by her living a godly and vertuous life may die a Saint and therefore it must certainly be much better to live well and so die happily than to be born great left rich or look handsom for the beauty of a fair delicate Complexion may be a Womans own purchase not Natures gift and her high Title and great Estate may be left her by her friends without being in the least merited by her self but to be highly pious and truly vertuous must most certainly be the true and lawful Issue of a Womans own Religious inclinations Therefore I shall conclude this Discourse with this undeniable Truth That true goodness is true greatness and that Lady will be the greatest in the other World that lives the best in this THE TENTH DISCOURSE Of French Fashions and Dresses now used in England by the modish Ladies and young Sparks DIvines tell us that perfect life may be seen in short measures and Painters assure us that exact beauty may be drawn in small proportions and experience shews us that an infinity of words is made of a few letters and 't is approv'd by the great Wits and Poets of the Stage that a short Prologue may suit well with a long Play and since I do not here pretend nor indeed so much as ambition to keep company with their great Wit I hope they will admit me to follow their short measures and by their example justifie this my small discourse from appearing very unsuitable to this large Theme Solomon in his Character of a Covetous Person says He is one whom God hath given riches and
do you no real good therefore to apply to your self the right use of both instead of being angry at others for accusing you of some vices you do not act be angry with your self for acting the many you do which is the true way of having Praises and deserving them too Praise is not only the dearly beloved Mistris of Christendom but also of Turky for 't was Praise that was the occasion of making the grand Vizier Mustapha lose so many Men before Vienna for his Story tells us that he did not attempt that Siege so much to serve his Master as to Court his Mistris more out of design to gain her than out of hopes to take it but Mustapha was as much mistaken in his measures of Conquering his Mistrisses heart as in those of taking Vienna for by destroying her Husbands life he totally destroyed her Love and so made his Mistris to revenge her Husbands death to beg the Grand Seignior to take away Mustapha's Life which he did and by it she shew'd her kindness to her Husband and the Grand Seignior his Justice to her 'T is desire of praise and ambition that makes the French King imploy such vast Sums of Mony and Armies of Soldiers to work about his Palace of Versaillies which is rather a Prodigy of Riches than a Miracle of Nature fitter to be wondred at for the vast expences laid out on it than to be praised for any agreableness about it except the Gardens and Water-works which indeed excel all either of Rome or Florence and consequently the whole World but for the House it self I could observe nothing in it extraordinary except the rich Gildings both within and without and therefore as to my own opinion of the Place I think there 's nothing so wonderful in all that glory as that any one should so much admire it having neither River Wood good Land or pleasant Prospect about it being all round about close besieg'd by great coarse and ragged Hills which cannot add much lustre and glory to the Situation of any place of such vast Expence and Magnificence so as to be Celebrated by some as one of the Wonders of the World. We read in History that Alexander the Great expressed much trouble that he had no more Kingdoms left him to Conquer I am sure the French King needs no cause of trouble for want of more Hills to Conquer and site about his Palace of Versaillies as long as he lives tho he had more Men and Mony to employ about levelling them than now he has Indeed such a Royal Building of Magnificence well deserved a most pleasant and Stately Situation but it seems that King thought it more noble better becoming his greatness to make one by the expence of Art than to be beholden to one of Natures free bounty that the World might know he scorn'd so mean an offer whilst he has Armies that can level Mountains as plain as he pleases and Mony to mount Rivers as high as he desires And indeed if we range over not only France and Turky but all the whole World we shall find that Praise is the Butt all Shoot at tho few hit the Mark for if we but look narrowly into Praises and consider the Actions as well as the Persons they are commonly great Flatterers and the breath of such Praises is but like a Rain-bow which is no other than a meer seeming Collection of many bright Colours without any true substance or long duration one day discovering the folly of the other and a few days will shew you your own end and with it the vanity of them all Therefore if the young Ladies could but perswade themselves to think seriously of the little reality there is in the Praises Men present them and the vain pastimes the World deludes them with both Women and Men will find that most of their delights are vain and despicable for the possession of much beauty breeds great pride and high concern and the decay of it creates in such as much discontent and envy at what they then lose and afterwards see others enjoy And so 't is the same with many of Mens Worldly delights which soon become uneasie to the Mind and often destructive to the Body for a debauch of drinking makes most sick and out of order after it and the enjoyment of handsom ill Women causes usually foul Pocky Diseases such French punishment suiting well with such an English transgression for the fondness of an unvertuous Love placed on an unchast Womans beauty is like the Fire of a Candle which lasts no longer than it flames and Candle like assoon as its flame is consum'd it presently expires in a stinking snuff So such a debauch'd Love I should have said Lust commonly ends with the odious detesting thoughts of such a foul and lustful passion which makes him then loath the sinner as he ought still the sin and himself for having committed the folly And if any one of these Venus Courtiers falls in Love with a truly vertuous Beauty hopes to gain his base unchast desires of her by fierce Courtship great adoration large offers of Presents all these thick larded with the common false Oaths of the praises of her great beauty and his great and constant Love the Lingua franca of all Gallants which all still swear to observe but few ever design to perform and therefore handsom Ladies never ought to Credit for surely he that speaks what he does not believe none ought to believe what he speaks but is bound in Conscience and Honour to slight his Courtship and scorn his Offers or else she must do much worse slight her self and reputation too 'T is a Proverbial saying that Love is blind I am sure such a sort of Love is for he will not see the unjust desires he makes to her but only minds the unkind returns she makes to him without ever considering that they spring from her Love to Vertue and a good Reputation but vainly fancies 't is her Love to some happy Lover that 's in her favour and keeps him out which disquiets and torments his Amorous mind with a fierce Jealousie which Solomon calls the Rage of Love and tho young Men are more naturally enflam'd with eager desires in the pursuit of beauty than old Men are for Age to Love is like Water to Wine the more quantity of Water the less strength in the Wine but t is most certain old Men are as able Courtiers and Lovers of Wealth as any young Men can possibly be Riches being like the Sun agreeable and comfortable to all and indeed nothing is more common than to see Covetousness to grow in most with their Age and the reason of it in my Opinion is that all other youthful sprightly delights but that of gaining Wealth decreases as Age increases but the pleasure of Mony all Men can keep as the Heathen do their Gods they adore under Lock and Key But yet this so adored