Gods ordinance is broken which is great sinne and wickednesse So then by the word of God none ought to liueâ—idly and to neglect his charge and dutie but ought to giue himselfe to some profitable calling to get his liuing by and to do good to others Although fathers prouide for their children great store of money and huge heaps of treasure yet in three or foure houres al may be wasted and come to nought For much euill commeth through idlenesse It is an euill teacher Hee that doth nothing is ill occupied The minde of man is euer stirring and doing somwhat If it be not doing wll it is doing ill As water though it be neuer so cleare and faire fresh and comfortable yet if it stand still in a pitte or hole or be kept long in a vessell whence it hath no issue it will putrifie and corrupt rotte and smell and be vnwholesome euen so it fareth with children yea and with all the sonnes of Adam if they haue nothing to do no way to bestow their witte they will rotte and prooue vnwholesome and deuise mischiefe all the day long Idlenesse bringeth much euill For as labour and exercise of body in one man industrie and diligence of mind in an other man are sure Fortes and strong Bulwarkes of Countries euen so idlenesse and negligence are the cause of all euil for an ydle mans braine becommeth quickly the shoppe of the diuell And as in all things naturall there is one thing or other which is the spoyle of it as the canker to the rose the worme to the apple and the caterpiller to the leafe so the common spoyle to all youth is the contrary to paines and labour which is idlenesse Therfore is idlenesse worthily called the mother of all euils and step-dame of all vertues The Prophet Ezechiel in his sixteenth chapter verse fortie nine teacheth that idlenesse was one of the principall sinnes of Sodome which pulled downe fire and brimstone from heauen vpon their heads this idlenesse is the diuels confederate for euen as the traiterous seruant while his maister is asleepe and all things at rest setteth open the doore for the theefe to enter in vpon him and spoyle him at his pleasure euen so idlenesse while wee are not aware lying soft vppon the pillowes of securitie openeth the doore for the euill to enter into vs with full swing to the destruction both of body soule S. Mathew saith chapter thirteene twentie fiue verse that while men slept the enemie came and sowed tares among the wheate so the fittest time that the deuill can finde to worke vpon vs is when we aree idle for that is the sleepe of the soule In the 11. chapter of the 2. Sam. wee reade that that while Dauid tarried idely at home in the beginning of the yeare when Kings vsed to goe foorth to battell hee was soone ouertaken with those two foule sinnes of adulterie man-slaughter Oh that men sawe to how many vices and euils they shutte the doore wheÌ„ they cease to be idle and giue theÌ„selues to honest labours and a lawful calling So long as Sampson Iudg. 19. warred with the Philistines he could neuer be takeÌ„ or ouercome but after that he gaue himselfe to idlenesse and pleasure he not only committed fornication with the strumpet Dalilah hut also was taken of his enimies and had his eyes miserably put out If those two which were such excellent meÌ„ indued of God with singular gifts the one of prophecie and the other of strength and such as no labour or trouble could ouercoÌ„e were notwithstanding ouerthrowne and fallen into greeuous sinnes by yeelding for a short time to ease then what crimes what mischiefes and inconueniences are not to be feared of theÌ„ who all their life long giue themselues to idlenesse and loytering But such hath alwaies been the peruerse incredulity of meÌ„s hearts that they wil not beleeue that other men haue perished vntill they themselues perish also If we be vtterly voyde of vnderstanding let vs go to the brute creatures which want these helpes of reason gouernment that man hath and learn of them Go to the Pismire ô sluggard saith Salomon Pro. 6.6 behold her waies be wise for she hauing no guide nor ruler prepareth her meate in the summer and gathereth her foode in the haruest What is it that filleth the prisons and bringeth so many to the gallowes and causeth so many Parents to lament and bewaile the vntimely death of their children but Idlenesse When the poore condemned wretches haue receiued their iudgement and come to the place of execution and stand on the ladder what counsell giue they to young men and to children but to beware of idlenesse What is the cause of such and so many diseases in the bodie Aske the Phisitians they wil tel you Idlenesse Whereof rise rebellions in kingdomes against Princes Whereof rise mutinies and mutterings in Citties against Magistrates You can giue no greater cause thereof then Idlenesse Christ our redeemer saith Of euery idle word that is vaine and vnprofitable trifles Math. 12.36 which the most part of people spend their liues in that men shall speake they shal giue account thereof at the day of iudgement If we shall make an account for idle words what shall we do for idle hands for idle feet for idle bodie for idle soule What account for all our idlenesse especially for wicked deeds shall we make at the day of iudgement Seeing theÌ„ that idlenesse is so noysome hurtful let all christian parents therefore labour and endeuour to auoyd it both in themselues and in their children as a plague or contagious disease Therefore it is most requisit necessary thar Parents doe bring vp their children eyther in learning to learne that science which they be most apt for Obiection or in some occupation handicraft whereby they may get their liuing another day and so liue the better But some vnaduisedly and foolishly doe reason saying What neede is it for noble and rich mens children to haue learning they shall haue ynough Wee answere Answere the greater the Ship is and the more marchandise it carrieth about the more need it hath of a cunning Ship-maister so the greater the childe is both by birth and by inheritance so much the more neede it is for him to be brought vp in learning and in good literature Pro. 3.13.24.15 For learning knowledge and vnderstanding is profitable both for rich and poore So that as the Grecians say Hee that is ignorant and vnlearned seeth nothing although hee haue eyes The life of such a one is as a tree without fruite a day without Sunne a night without moone and starres a house without a man and a head without a bodie It is found by experience which the best schoolemaister that vnto what occupation or science soeuer any young man shall be put to the more skill and knowledge he hath in the liberal sciences so much the more
19. â— Mark 10.7 1. Cor. 6.16 Ephes 5.31 straighter then any other coniunction in the societie of mankinde Insomuch that it is a lesse offence to forsake father and mother and to leaue them succourles which notwithstanding ought by Gods commandement to be honored then it is to do the like toward his lawfull maried wife Wherfore let them looke well what they doe that are readie for light and small causes to separate maÌ„ man and wife seeing that Christ himselfe saith Matth. 19.9 That whosoeuer is separated from his wife sauing for whoredome and marrieth another committeth adulterie This is a thing worthie to bee remembred both on the behalfe of the Suter and Woer as also on her part that is woed namely that they deale plainly and faithfully one with the other and not guilefully and craftily goe about to deceiue one the other in bodie or goods for so doing they shall neuer vse one the other so louingly and commodiously as they hoped and desired they might when the one hath fraudulently and deceitfully inticed and beguiled the other either in bodie or substance for naturally wee hate him or her that doth beguile vs. Neither is there any thing that displeaseth a man or woman more then to lacke and faile of the thing they both hoped and looked for And therefore it were conuenient and also much better that both parties should disclose the one to the other such imperfections infirmities and wants in either of their bodies as also the mediocritie and meannesse of their goods and substaÌ„ce as in truth it is yea though it should be with the perill and losse one of the other rather then the one to obtaine and get the other with fraud guile and discord But before wee shall come to speake of the causes of mariage we purpose God so willing briefly to shew how euery one that entendeth to marrie should chuse him a meete fit and honest mate for there lieth much weight in the wise election and choise of a wife Gen. 2.18 As hee that will plant any thing doth first consider the nature of the ground in the which he mindeth to plant euen so much more ought a man to haue respect to the condition of the woman out of whom hee desireth to plant children the fruits of honestie and welfare The first thing that is to bee remembred of such a one as mindeth to marrie is Such as are of kindred in the flesh may not contract matrimonie that hee doe not chuse his wife within such degrees of consanguinitie and affinitie as are by f Leuit. 18.6 c. Gods law forbidden Secondly g Deut. 7.3 2. Cor. 6.14.15 c. Religion and faith must be considered least he make diuorce of the true faith or bring it into perill For although hee thinke himselfe as wise as h 1. King 11.4 Salomon and as strong as i Iudg. 16.17.18 Sampson yet may he bee ouercome as they were Therefore great aduisement before hand is to be taken in this behalfe least afterwards with much griefe and sorrow of hart he doe too late repent Now if any that hath matched himselfe with a wife that is an infidell irreligious or of a corrupt religion and would put her away for this matter herein he deceiueth himselfe 1. Cor. 7.12.13 c. 1. Pet. 3.1 as the Apostle manifestly proueth for wee must put a difference betweene that mariage that is made and done alreadie and it that is yet to doe Wherefore he that is snared and matched with such a wife as is either froward wayward or els is poysoned with superstition and poperie in such a case he must call vpon God and liue in his feare in faithfulnesse in patience and with discretion and godly counsell labour to winne her from the same For like as that Husbandman doth with great labour and diligence till that ground which hee hath once taken to farme although it be neuer so full of faults as if it be drie if it bring forth weedes bâ—ambles or briers or though the same ground cannot beare much wet yet through good husbandry he winneth fruit thereof Euen so in like maner he that hath maried a wife that is irreligious or froward if he shall vse like diligence to instruct and order her minde if he diligently and courteously apply himselfe to weede out by little and little the noysome weeds out of her minde both by holesome and godly precepts and by Christian conuersation it cannot bee but in time he shall feele the pleasant fruit thereof to both their comforts for as it is commonlie said a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. Euery one therefore that purposeth to marrie ought also to remember that there be three maner of riches in man Three maner of riches in man 1. The riches of the minde 2. The riches of the bodie 3. The riches of temporall substance The best and the most precious are the riches of the minde as without which the other two are more hurtfull then profitable The riches of the mind Riches of the minde are the feare of God faith Gods glorie knowledge of his will sobernesse liberalitie chastitie silence humblenes honestie and such like vertues These vertues lie not still neither hide themselues wheresoeuer they be but will break out diuers waies so that they may well bee spied and discerned As a traueller hath markes in his way that he may proceede aright so likewise the man or woman that intendeth to marrie haue also marks in their waies by which they may make a right choise There bee certaine signes of this fitnes and godlinâ—s both in the man and in the woman So that if the man be desirous to know a godly woman or the woman would know who is a godly man then let them obserue and marke these sixe points Sixe rules to be obserued in the choise of a good wife or a good husband 1. The report 2. The lookes 3. The speech 4. The apparell 5. The companions 6. And lastly the education and bringing vp which are like the pulses that shew whether a man be sick or whole well or ill 1. The report 1. Report name or fame he or she hath had and yet haue and what opinion honest folkes haue of them because as the market goeth so the market-men will talke A good man and a good woman commonlie haue a good name Prou. 10.7 and 22.1 Preach 7.3 because a good name is one of the blessings which God promiseth to good men and good women Psal 112.6 but a good name is not to bee praised from the wicked Luk. 6.26 And therfore our Sauiour Christ saith Woe be to you wheÌ„ all men speake well of you that is when euill men praise and commend you for that is a plaine argument that you are ambitious vain-glorious and of the world For the world liketh and praiseth her own Ioh. 15.19 Neuerthelesse it is conuenient that euery Christian should so
to loue his wife as his owne flesh 2. Then to gouern her in all duties that properly concerne the state of marriage in knowledge in wisedome iudgement and iustice Thirdly to dwell with her Fourthly to vse her in all due beneuolence 1. Pet. 13.7 1. Cor. 7.45 honestlie soberly and chastly 1. The wife her dutie is in all reuerence and humilitie to submit and subiect her selfe to her husband in al such duties as properly belong to marriage Secondly therein to be an helpe vnto him according to gods ordinance Thirdly to obey his commandements in all things which hee may commaund by the authoritie of an husband Fourthly and lastly to giue him mutuall beneuolence As for the rest of mutuall duties as they may be all comprehended vnder these so there shall be a fitter occasiō to speake thereof Thirdly wee call this promise of marriage voluntary because it must not come from the lippes alone but from the wel-liking and consent of the heart for if it be onely a verball promise without any wil at all and so meer hypocriticall and dissembled though it bindeth the partie that promiseth to the performance of his promise made before God and man yet if the Parents afterwards shall certainly know this and that there was no will nor vnfained meaning at all in the party neither yet is but rather a loathing and abhorring of his spouse betrothed though hee bee not able to render iust and sufficient cause thereof they maye vpon this occasion either deferre the day of marriage the longer to see if God wil happily change the minde of the partie or vtterly breake and frustrate the promise if all good meanes and occasions hauing been vsed none wil preuaile but that the partie rather groweth woorse and woorse For a Contract beeing a willing and a voluntarie consent there is no cause why the Parents and such as haue authoritie and power in such cases when they shall vndoubtedly knowe that the promise was altogither vnwilling and therefore made in meere hypocrisie and dissimulation neither can bee by tract of time or any other good meanes vsed be bettered but rather waxeth woorse and woorse may not breake and frustrate the same For why did Rebeccaes Parents deny her to Isaack neither would send her with Abrahams seruant to bee married Gen. 24 57.58 before such time as they had asked her consent yea when as they said Wee will call the maide and aske her consent do they not plainely shewe that both the law of Nature and the law of God taught them that this consent was of great moment and absolute necessitie And when the Apostle doth commaund men and women to marrie in the Lorde how can that marriage be in the Lord when the one partie doth not onely not loue but hate the other And how can such two become one flesh lawfully when as there wanteth the vnion and coniunction of the heart the true naturall mother of all marriage duties Wherefore this promise must be in this respect at least willing and voluntarie For albeit it is not necessarie neither yet possible that there should bee such great measure of true holy and sanctified loue at that time as afterward for that groweth by little and little according to the blessing of God and the faithfull performance of other duties afterward euen to their liues end yet if it bee voluntarie and vnfained it is enough and fully sufficient to make a true contract in the Lord. So as no man ought to separate those whom God hath thus ioyned Secondly wee call it voluntarie in respect of constraint and compulsion contrarie to a free consent for if eyther partie bee vrged constrained or compelled by great feare of their Parents or others by threatning of losse of preferment of health of limme of life or of any such other like or by any other violent manner of dealing whatsoeuer to yeeld their promise cleane contrarie to the motion of good liking of their hearts This kinde of promise as it doth not binde the partie to keepe it so it ought to bee frustrated and broken by the Parents themselues or by such maisters as may and ought to commaund and rule them in such cases If this were not so how could the parties keepe the commaundements of God giuing them direction whom to marrie First that they should marrie onely in the Lord. Againe that they should not bee vnequally yoked with the infidels neither whereof they can keepe if their parents might compell them or Contract marrie It becommeth rather the Parents to perswade their children by all good meanes to yeelde their consent rather then to drawe them by wicked sleight and cunning drunkennesse or any other wicked and violent meanes For as that is not to marrie in the Lord so all such forced Contracts may bee broken and frustrated by the Magistrate who is Gods Lieutenant to redresse such intollerable enormities among the societies of men For if Parents may deny marriage to such as haue not onely by force and violence obtained the word and body of their childe much more may the Magistrate denie marriage where onely a verball promise hath beene gotten by violent compulsion and so for these causes and in this sence and meaning alone wee conclude that Contract must bee voluntarie Fourthly it must bee a mutuall promise that is either partie must make it to other not the man onely nor the woman onely but both the man and the woman though decencie and order require the man to doo it first and then the woman because hee is her head and shee his glorie and ought to leade and guide her in all things wherein the Lorde hath put a preheminence For if this promise bee not mutually made of them both but of one alone it is no true and perfect Contract And therefore may bee broken by Parentes and such as haue authoritie heerein because the partie vnpromising is not bound by word nor deede but is free insomuch that such a Contract is rather so termed then for that it is any true Contract indeede But if it bee mutuall then it doth mutually and inuiolably binde both so that in this regard neither Parent Magistrate nor any other can or ought to breake it For this beeing fully performed and accomplished is one principall cause of making two one flesh in such sort as it is written Therefore shall man leaue his father and mother and shall bee ioyned to his wife and they two shall bee one flesh c. Genes 2.24 Also that the man hath not power ouer his owne body nor the woman ouer hers and so to bee short hence ariseth all mutuall beneuolence between them And therefore a poynt of great waight and necessitie in no wise to bee omitted in Contract Fiftly we say it must be betweene one man and one woman Where first it is to bee noted that it may not nor ought not to bee betweene any other creatures but mankinde nay neither among brute beastes
her out of which fountaine springeth this dutie that hee must beare with her infirmities and not by and by to enter into bitternesse and wrath Colos 1. Pet. 3.7 3.16 To the same end S. Peter exhorting husbands to behaue themselues discreetly and with knowledge and wisedome toward their wiues her requireth of them 2 things First that they neuer say nor do any thing that may iustly offend their wiues as some there be who being prodigall great spenders or idle and slacke in their businesse do cause their wiues and children to languish in pouertie Others who haunting Tauernes Alehouses and Gaming doe consume and waste that which should maintaine their familie Others who cōming home drunke doe beat and vexe their wiues and as it were driue them into dispaire Others who by vile bitter speeches by threatnings other vnchristian actions vnworthy a husband doe prouoke their wiues and so stirre vp such strife and debate as do conuert the cōfort of marriage into an hell Seeing therefore that the husband is head he ought in such wisedome reason and discretion to beare himselfe that he giue his wife no iust occasion of offence or prouocation yea he must remember that if the head be drunke the whole body is in danger of weake gouernment euen of lying in the myre Secondly that albeit the wife should minister iust cause of griefe and displeasure yet that the husband should not thereof take occasion against his wifes infirmities or enter into bitternesse tauntes or disquietnesse but discreetly and patiently beare with her that so they might quietly and louingly liue togither The hurt or weaknesse of any one member of the bodie prouoketh not the head to wrath or bitternesse but rather to compassion and an inclination to helpe it And indeed whereas God hauing created woman the weaker vessell as Saint Peter noteth did so ioyne her to man it was not to the end that hee striuing with so fraile a vessel should bruise and breake it but that by gentle and discreet intreating he should quietly enioy the helpe that God hath giuen him Let him therefore after the counsell of Saint Peter 1. Pet. 3.7 Gen 3.18 so respect her as one who albeit she be weake is neuerthelesse a profitable vessell for him Moreouer let him loue and honour her as one whom notwithstanding the frailtie of her sexe God hath so honoured and Jesus Christ so loued that being togither with man redeemed with his blood shee is togither with her husband coheite of life euerlasting A christall Glasse is a precious and profitable vessell yet brittle so is the married woman For albeit she be brittle yet is she profitable to her husband and precious in the sight of God as a child of God and member of Christ As therefore a man doth more carefully take heed of breaking such a glasse then some earthen or tinne vessell the one being more base and the other more strong so likewise should the husband haue such regard of the frailetie of his wife that hee may beare with her and intreate her with gentlenesse and discretion that hee may vse her as a precious and profitable vessel to his comfort ioy And in as much as prayer is an excellent seruice that God requireth of vs and the ready meanes to purchase his blessings let the husband discreetly beare with his wife least otherwise through their strife and contention their prayers as S. Peter saith might be letted and interrupted 1. Pet. 3.7 Yet must we not say but the husband both may and ought to tell his wife of her infirmimities that she may amend But here we are to enter into consideration of sundrie points First hee is especially to reproue her offences against God As when Rachell said vnto Iacob Gen. 30.1 Giue me children or else I die Hee reproued her of importunitie saying Am I in Gods stead who hath withholden from thee the fruite of thy wombe Also when Iobs wife saide to her husband Doest thou abide in thy integritie Iob. 2.9 Curse God and die He wisely reproued such a wicked speech saying Thou speakest as an vnwise woman What shall we receiue good at the hand of God and not receiue euill Secondly that it be with gentlenesse and testimony of good will as Helcana dealt with his wife Hanna 1 Sam. 1. when she mourned because she had no children And indeede it is meet that the husband should reproue his wife louingly rather by perswasion then by force For as in a great stormie winde a man lappeth his cloake about him and holdeth it fast for feare of loosing but when the wind is downe and the weather calme he letteth it hang easily so when husbands will as it were perforce wrest away their wiues infirmities many of them will obstinatly resist yet contrariwise by sweet words and louing exhortations they might bee wonne voluntarily to forsake them Thirdly the husband must seeke diligently to remoue the occasion and stone whereat his wife stumbleth and taketh occasion of griefe So when Sarah was moued against Abraham Gen. 16. because of Agar and obiected vnto him albeit wrongfully that hee was the cause that shee contemned her bearing with his wife hee remoued the cause of the contention in suffering her to turne Agar out of doores He must also take heed that he himselfe bee not tainted with the same vice which hee reproueth in his wife least shee stop his mouth with the reproach of the same fault but rather by giuing her example by the contrary vertue let her be induced and led to follow him In reprouing the wife the husband must alwayes vse such discretion that shee be not brought into contempt and therefore it should neuer bee done in the presence of moe then themselues For as it is meere folly for a husband to praise and commend his wife in company so is it as dangerous to checke and reproue her before witnesse For indeed thereof it commeth that women not being able to beare that disgrace will replie and so prouoke strife and dissention in open presence which wil redound to great reproch offence And therefore as the husband must not flatter his wife so hee must not reproue her before strangers A wise husband and one that seeketh to liue in quiet with his wife must obserue these three rules Often to admonish Seldome to reproue And neuer to smite her Let the husband also remember that the infirmities of his wife must bee eyther taken away or borne withall So that he that can take them quite away maketh his wife farre more commodious and fit for his purpose and hee that can beare with them maketh himselfe better and more vertuous The husband is also to vnderstand that as God created the woman not of the head and so equall in authoritie with her husband so also he created her not of Adams foote that shee should be troden downe and despised but hee tooke her out of the rib that she might
and wisedome vnto him As 1. Pet. 3.6 Ephes 5.33 Ester 1.1 2. c. 12. So that womē may not prouoke their husbands by disobedience in matters that may bee performed without offence to God neither to presume ouer him either in kindred or wealth or obstinately to refuse in a matter that may trouble household peace and quiet For disobedience begetteth contempt of the husband and cōtempt wrath and is many times the cause of troubles betweene the man and the wife If the obedience importeth any difficultie she may for her excuse gently propound the same yet vpon condition to obey in case the husband should persist in his intent so long as the discommoditie importeth no wickednesse For it is better to continue peace by obedience then to breake it by resistance And indeede it is naturall in the members to obey the conduct and gouernement of the head Yet must not this obedience so far extend as that the husband should command any thing contrary to her honour credit and saluation but as it is comely in the Lord Col. 3.18 Ephes 5.22 Therfore as it were a mōstrous matter and the means to ouerthrow the person that the body should in refusing all subiection obedience to the head take vpō it to guide it selfe and to commaund the head so were it for the wife to rebell against the husband Let her then beware of disordering and peruerting the course which God in his wisedome hath established and with all let her vnderstand that going about it she riseth not so much against her husband as against GOD and that it is her good and honor to obey God in her subiection obedience to her husband If in the practise of this dutie she finde any difficultie or trouble through the inconsiderate course of her husband or otherwise let her remember that the same proceedeth not of the order established by the Lorde but through some sin afterward crept in which hath mixed gall among the honie of the subiection and obedience that the womā should haue enioyed in that estate wherein together with Adam she was created after the image of God And so let her humble her selfe in the sight of God and be well assured that her subiection and obedience is acceptable vnto him Likewise that the more that the image of God is restored in her and her husband through the regeneration of the holie Ghost the lesse difficultie shall she finde in that subiection and obedience as many in their mariage haue in deede tried to their great contentment and consolation Further there is a certaine discretion and desire required of women to please the nature inclinations maners of their husbands so long as the same imports no wickednesse For as the looking-glasse howsoeuer faire and beautifully adorned is nothing woorth if it shew that countenance sad which is pleasant or the same pleasant that is sad so the woman deserueth no commendation that as it were contrarying her husband when he is merie sheweth her selfe sad or in his sadnesse vttereth her mirth for as men should obey the lawes of their cities so women the maners of their husbands To some women a becke of her husband is sufficient to declare that there is somewhat amisse that displeaseth him and specially if she beare her husband any reuerence For an honest matron hath no neede of any greater staffe but of one word or one sowre countenance Moreouer a modest and chaste woman that loueth her husband must also loue her house as remembring that the husband that loueth his wife cannot so well like of the sight of any tapestrie as to see his wife in his house For the woman that gaddeth from house to house to prate confoundeth her selfe her husband and familie Titus 2.5 But there are foure reasons why the woman is to goe abroad First to come to holie meetings according to the dutie of godlinesse The second to visit such as stand in neede as the dutie of loue and charitie doe require The third for employment and prouision in household affaires committed to her charge And lastly with her husband when hee shall require her The wife must keepe a good tongue Gen. 20.1 c. The euill and vnquiet life that some women haue and passe with their husbands is not so much for that they commit with and in their persons as it is for that they speake with their tongues When the wife doth holde her peace she keepeth the peace The cause of domesticall combats If the wife would keep silence when her husband beginneth to chide he should not haue so vnquiet dinners neither she the woorse supper which surely is not so for at the same time that the husband beginneth to vtter his griefe the wife then beginneth to scold and chafe wherof doth follow that now then most vnnaturally they come to handy gripes more beastlike thē christianlike which their so doing is both a great shame Silence becommeth a woman and a foule discredit to them both The best meanes therefore that a wife can vse to obtaine and maintaine the loue and good liking of her husband is to bee silent obedient peaceable patient studious to appease his choler if he bee angrie painfull and diligent in looking to her businesse Lacke of knowledge of Gods word is the principall cause why wiues doe not their dutie to their husbands to be solitarie and honest The chiefe and speciall cause why most women do faile in not performing this dutie to their husbands is because they be ignorant of the word of God which teacheth the same and all other duties and therefore their soules and consciences not being brought into subiection to God and his word they can neuer vntill then yeeld and performe true subiection and obedience to their husbands and behaue themselues so euery way as christian wiues are in dutie bound to doe But if wiues bee not so dutitiful seruiceable and subiect to their husbands as in conscience they ought the onely cause thereof for the most part is through the want and neglect of the wise discreet and good gouernment that should be in the husbands besides the want of good example that they shuld giue vnto their wiues both in word and deede One heart and one will For as the common saying is Such a husband such a wife a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. For so much as mariage maketh of two persons one How the loue faithfulnesse and dutie of maried folkes may be kept and increased therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better bee kept and increased and so continued if they remember the duties last spoken of as also not forget these three points following 1. They must be of one heart will and mind and neither to vpbraide or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any waies or to pride themselues in their gifts but rather the one to endeuour to supplie the others wants that
be both wayward and full of affections which though his bodie bee but small yet he hath a great heart and is altogether inclined to euill and the more hee waxeth in reason by yeares the more he groweth proude froward wilfull vnruly and disobedient If this sparkle bee suffered to increase it will rage ouer and burne down the whole house For we are changed and become good not by birth but by education For like as planting and carefulnesse hath great power in all growing things euen so hath Education greater vertue and strength yea and better fruit in the diligent bringing vp of children Therefore parents must bee warie and circumspect that they neuer smile or laugh at any words or deedes of their children done lewdly vnhonestly naughtily wantonly or shamefully nor to kisse or commend them for so doing For children will commonly accustome themselues vnto such things as they shal see and perceiue to bee pleasing and delightfull to their father and mother Therefore they must correct and sharply reproue their children for saying or doing ill and make it knowne vnto them that they be neither wel pleased nor contented with their so doing but that it greatlie disliketh them And againe on the other side let them kisse and make much of them whensoeuer they shal see or heare them do any thing that is a signe of goodnesse But such is the fond and too much cockering affection of some parents towards their children that there is more neede in these daies to teach and admonish them not to loue them too much then to perswade them to loue them For Dauids darling was Dauids traytor 2. Sam. 15. all and 18.33 And this is the maner of God and his iust iudgemēt that when any father or mother begins as it were to set their childe or any thing els in the roome of God and so loue the same aboue him which gaue it either to take away the child or the thing or els to take away the parents before they prouoke him too much For as the Ape doth with too much embracings well neere kill her young whelpes so likewise some vndiscreet parents through immoderate loue and ouer-much pampering and cherishing do vtterly spoyle and marre their children Therefore if parents would haue their children liue they must take heede that they loue them not too much for the giuer is displeased when the gift is more esteemed then he Ill bringing vp is a cause of marring many which are of a good towardnesse and wit We may see by experience how that many children of good wit and towardnesse are marred and spoyled for want of good education and so get those vices from their tender yeares which all their life after doe for the most part accompanie them For when parents doe either too much cocker their children or by their lewd example allure them to naughtinesse or neglect due instruction what other thing I pray you can come to passe then which wee see in trees which from the beginning being neglected become crooked and vnfruitfull Contrariwise they that are pruned erected ordered and watered with the hand and cunning of the Husbandman are made straight fertile and fruitfull So that the manner of life education and custome are of great importance to moue to vertue What a great follie is it in parents to toyle themselues and bee occupied in getting riches and to bee nothing carefull for their children for whose sake riches are gotten Assuredly there can none more precious and better heritage bee left vnto children then if they bee well and vertuously brought vp from their tender age and be rightly instructed vnto vertue from their infancie This patrimonie remaineth with them continually nothing at all subiect to the stormes and troubles of fortune But wee see two speciall causes Two things which much hinder good education why some parents doe more negligently prouide that their children be instructed to wit too much cockering and niggardship In cockering mothers do more often offend and especially those which haue but few children These doe like as if some Husband man should refuse to till his field because hee hath but one onely Who could suffer this mans follie and peruersenesse of iudgement Is it not much more to be tilled because it is onely one Yes verely that so the profit and increase of one may recompence the want of many euen so after the same sort wee iudge it to bee the dutie of mothers so much more diligently to bring vp their children by how much they are fewer But wee see what doth let mothers The fewer the children the more diligently to be cared for that they bewel brought vp that they loue their children more dearely then that they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight but this is cruel loue so to loue their children that they should bee as it were giuen ouer of their mothers vnto all naughtinesse of which peruerse and cruell loue not a fewe shall suffer the iust punishment which with great griefe of minde and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbrideled wantonnesse and vngratiousnesse of their children vnto which they doe now all too late goe about to prouide a remedie The second cause which hindereth good education On the other side niggardship is oftentimes greater then that parents will bestow the cost Whatsoeuer is spent vpon horse-keepers or horse-breakers fooles minstrels dogs hawkes c. that some thinke well bestowed but if they see any thing to be spēt about instructing their children they thinke all that ill bestowed and are much more carefull that an horse bee well framed to vauting and leaping then that their childe bee well instructed to vertue This inconuenience commeth to the minds of children if they bee not well brought vp that they become seruile and open to all sin and naughtines For if a man leaue his field vntilled hee shall finde it to haue brought forth fearne and thistles and such vnprofitable weedes after the same sort if he shall leaue the wittes of his children vnlooked vnto and vnexercised hee shall be sure to reape most aboundant fruite of wantonnes and vngratiousnes The holie Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sonnes as that he that begetteth such a one getteth himselfe sorrow and that the father of a foole hath no ioy Prou. 17.21 meaneth it not so much of naturall fooles or idiots and such as are destitute of common reason although it is true that is a lamentable iudgemēt of God and a heauinesse to the parents of such a childe as of wicked children such as either are ignorant in the word or not knowing how to order one right steppe to the kingdome of God or els hauing some knowledge abuse it to maintaine their carnall lusts and appetite For this cause as it would griue parents to haue naturall fooles to their children or such as either in some imperfection of nature are dismembred or deformed and misfigured in the
parts of their bodie so much more should it grieue them to haue such children as either for want of knowledge and heauenly wisedome cannot walke in the feare of God or abusing the knowledge giuen them prostitute and giue themselues to all sinne and wickednesse it is marueilous how greatly parents can bewaile the wāt of one naturall gift proceeding of some imperfection and how easily they can passe ouer without any griefe the want of all spirituall graces springing from corrupt education In like maner is it strange that men can take the matter so heauilie when their children breake into such offences as either haue open shame or ciuill punishment following them and yet can make no bones but passe ouer such sins as are against the maiestie of God accompanied with euerlasting cōfusion and vnspeakable torments Wherein what doth the most part of men bewray but their great hypocrisie in that neither their ioy nor their griefe is found to their children and that they loue themselues more in their children then either their saluation or the glorie of God the tender loue and care whereof no doubt did increase the sorrow of Dauid for the death of his sonne Absolon 2. Sam. 18.33 who was not so much grieued for the losse of a sonne as for that vntimely end of his son to whom the time of repentance for his saluation and the glorie of God was denied which happily if he had liued his father Dauid might haue reioyced in Let parents therefore learne to correct their affections to their children and bee grieued for their ignorance impietie and sinnes whereof either their carnall copulation the not lamenting of their naturall corruption the want of prayer and holie seede or prophane education armed with the wrath of God may be a most iust occasion Can parents hope for a holie posteritie or doe they maruell if the Lord crosse them in the children of their bodies when they make as bolde and brutish an entrance into that holie ordinance of the Lord as is the meeting of the neighing horse with his mare when being ioyned in that honourable estate of matrimonie either as meere naturall men without all knowledge of God they beget their children or as too carnall men without the feare and reuerence of the Lord neither bewayling their corruptions which they receiued of their ancestrie nor praying against their infirmities which may descend to their posteritie they abuse the mariage bed Lastly when hauing receiued the fruit of the wombe they haue no care by good and vertuous bringing vp to offer it to the Lord that their childe by carnall generation may bee the childe of God by spirituall regeneration Surely no and yet men looking vp to God his prouidence and secret counsell without all bethinking themselues of their corrupt generation from which their children are descended without all looking backe into their wicked and godlesse bringing of them vp will fret against their sinnes fume against their children yea often they wil correct them and that to serue their owne corruptions not so much grieued for that they haue sinned against God as that they haue offended them Christians therfore must know that when men and women raging with boyling lust meete together as brute beasts hauing no other respect then to satisfie their own carnall concupiscence when they make no conscience to sanctifie the marriage bedde with prayer when they haue no care to increase the Church of Christ and the number of the elect it is the iust iudgement of God to send them either monsters or naturall fooles or else such as hauing good gifts of the minde and well proportioned bodies are most wicked gracelesse and prophane persons Againe on the contrarie wee shall finde in the word of God that noble and notable men commended vnto vs for rare examples of vertue and godlinesse were children asked and obtained of God by prayer Gene. 4.2.25 Our first parents Adam and Eue being humbled after the birth of their wicked sonne Caine obtained a righteous Abel of whom when by his bloodie brother they were bereft they receiued that holie man Seth. Abraham begetting in the flesh had a cursed sonne Ismael but waiting by faith for the accomplishment of God his couenant he obtained a blessed Isaack Gene. 21 2. Iacob not content with one wife according to the ordinance of God was punished in his children yet afterward being humbled he receiued faithfull Ioseph Gene. 30.24 1. Sam. 29. Elkana and Hannah praying and being cast downe had a Samuel that did minister before the Lord. Dauid and Bethsheba lamenting their sinnes 2. Sam. 22.24 obtained Salomon a man of excellent wisedome Zacharie and Elizabeth fearing the Lord Luke 1.13 receiued Iohn the Baptist a forerunner of Christ Looke what sinnes parents haue receiued naturally without God his great blessing without prayer and humbling of themselues they shall conuey them to their posteritie And although the Lord graunteth sometimes ciuill gifts vnto the children of naturall and carnall men yet for the most part they receiue their naturall sinnes But if the children of God by regeneration doe see in themselues and lament their sinnes of generation praying that their naturall corruptions may be preuented in their posterities they shall see the great mercies of God in some measure freeing their children from the same Now when thou shalt see such sinnes to be in thy children enter into thine owne hart examine thy selfe whether they are not come from thee consider how iustly the hand of GOD may bee vpon thee and when thou wouldest be angrie against thy childe haue an holy anger with thy selfe and vse this and such like meditation with thine owne soule Lord shal I thus punish mine owne sinne and that in mine own childe shall I thus persecute the corruptions of my ancestors nay I see O Lord and proue that thou art displeased with mee for the too carnall conception of my childe I lay then in some sinne I asked it not of thee by prayer bee mercifull vnto mee O Lord and in thy good time shew some pitie vpon my childe Thus thinking thou goest about to correct nature in thy childe which he could not helpe arming thy selfe with prayer repenting with Iacob thou shalt bee so affected as desirous to draw thy child out of sinne yet with the mildest meanes and least rigor And one thing is most wonderfull that some will teach their children to speake corruptly and doe wickedly whilest they are young and yet beate them for it when they are old Againe some will imbolden their little ones to practise iniquitie towards others which when by the iust iudgement of God they afterwards exercise towards the parents themselues they are corrected for it And yet deale with these and such like men for the euill education of their children and they will answere Doe not wee as much as is of vs required wee send our children to the church to be instructed of the Pastor and to