you were the chief concerns Talk of the Devil and see his horns When of thy dangers I did hear It cost me many a sigh and tear For fear thou shou'dst in passing thorough So many difficulties know sorrow He having made conclusion his Son Began with mannerly submission Had I come of my own head you 'l Quoth he dear Father call me fool Wer 't not for your continual haunting My presence now had here been wanting But seeing my time 's but short Father Come let 's for shame shake hands together 'T is fit Father and Son shou'd hug Puh quoth Anchises Coxen pug Then tears began to trickle out As fast as water from a spout Have you not read of Aesops dog That instead of substantial prog With greedy snarie at shadow snapt Whilst real flesh in water dapt Or rather as Ixion woed With wanton grasps an empty cloud Aeneas just in such a sort Did incorporeal Father court But Ghost was in compliance shy And like a coy wench put him by Have you not in Glamorgan-shire From mountain high up in the air Lookt down upon the Countrey under And seen blind houses lie asunder Houses of turf and thatcht wherein People do live that card and spin Aeneas such a Valley spi'd From ascent where he did abide And once again have you not seen In any place where you have been In Summer-season swarms of bees Or Chafers roaming 'bout the trees Or Grashoppers or eager Ants A tugging to relive their wants So many folks he did descry And if you will believ 't you may And as 't is the nature of those So these did also hum and buz Or rather like as you may hear In Market or tumultuous Fair. Aeneas was at first amaz'd And like one knockt in the head gaz'd Quoth he what means that yonder feud So much disorder can't be good Quoth Anchises these drink a liquour Call'd Lethe which is by much quicker Than March beer bottle-ale or mead And sooner flyes up to the head They drink this so long till the Elves Grow sottish and forget themselves And here they madly drink whole ones Till they put on new flesh and bones I cou'd tell many pleasant stories Relating to these drunken Tories But I must tell of noble Heroes That shall be to the world meer scare-crows Who though we look like fools shall be Dasht from the loins of I and thee But hold quoth Aeneas pray hold Father if I may be so bold Let me before you proceed on Propose to you one question Why shou'd the staring Jacanoddies Desire to resume new bodies Quoth Anchises I 'l tell thee all By notions Philosophical As orderly as Probleme is When Ergo follows premisses The Sun and Moon Stars Earth and Ocean Internal Spirits have and motion And as the Stoicks have defin'd There rules in them a certain mind Which does material part controul As body manag'd is by Soul These second causes are whence spring Existency to every thing To all sorts of beasts fish and fowl Let it be Badger Dace or Owl There 's not an individual being But from these Elements you see spring For nothing Nature can create Without earth water air and heat These four as it were being tried And in a Limbick rarified Turns into life which leaps and mounts Like quicksilver upon the joints And as 't is variously compos'd So variously it is dispos'd For now in appetite 't is boil'd Another time in grief turmoil'd To day it sneaks and shrinks for fear With jealousie doubt and despair To morrow fits of joy come in Making it ready leap from skin Now when this life forsakes the lump Of body by deaths utmost thump It 's tost and tumbled in the air Like smoak or feather here and there It has no cloaths no not a smock So much to keep it from a shock Sometimes it feels the heavy rap Of hail-stones or a thunder-clap In Sun-beams fryed in frost benum'd By showers half-drown'd and by storms thrumb'd Thus being naked becomes more Weather-beaten than before But like a ship that has been banded By waves and winds at length is landed So after difficulties have been It shall arrive to quiet haven Then when time 's snake is wreath'd about This life is cleans'd and purg'd throughout From filthy thoughts with which 't was tainted When with the lower air acquainted 'T is put into a modish dresse Pester'd with weather lice or fleas Anchises had his fair speech ended Which nothing to the purpose tended Then down the way he led along Towards the giddy-headed throng Himself the Sibyl and his Son Got up upon a tomb of stone Because they thought it not so good To be at flats with multitude Besides if there had been no less thing 'T was cause enough to avoid pressing Now quoth Anchises fix your eyes And mark what Spirits shall arise I 'l shew you plainly to your face The Chavalieroes of our race Who shall in Italy bear sway And from the rest bear bell away He there that wears his Hat a cockt With Javelin in his clutches lockt Shall first drop from the womb of night Into the Regions of light Whom thou shalt get upon thy wife At the latter end of life So that people of the town Shall say the child is not thy own One that shall be as stout I 'l warrant As any Knight that ere rid errant The next is Procas of high worth With Capys Numitor and so forth But look what yonder fellows are See how they swagger huff and swear As if they wou'd drink dry a fountain And swallow at one bit a mountain These shall convert wild heaths and downs Into Mart and Burrough-towns Nomentum Fidenae and Bola Pomety Gabii and Cora In every one of which a Mayor Shall the sword of Justice bear With reverend Aldermen assistants To Carbonadoe rogues and miscreants Next Romulus the Bully Rock Comes strutting like a Turky-cock Fame and report in time to come Shall sound as loud as trump and drum And glory with a golden stamp Shall coin his name as bright as lamp Have you not seen town full of people Wherein stands a Cathedral steeple Which for it's bulk and antiquity Is term'd by Geopraphers a City Such a Town Romulus shall found And call it Rome for stately sound With walls and seven Towers lofty To keep it in defence and safety House-keepers dwelling in this place Shall be very well to passe By the advantages of trade And traffick which shall seldom fade From Bankers Scriveners and Drapers To old shoos boots and kennel-scrapers Scarce one but shall have in his purse Enough to buy a score of us But bend both eyes hitherward son Here are the men when all is done These are Romans against weather As true as ever trod shoe-leather Fierce Julius sirnamed Caesar Who domineer shall
Flouncing about in such large doses As made the Trojans hold their noses She lookt o' th' sudden pale as ashes And smear'd with excremental dashes As if she had taken a full cup Of Chymick potion or jallop With that she swell'd as big as quack Drinking toad in glass of sack Stomach and belly then she puts out As if she meant to squirt her guts out At last she howl'd and gave a squawle And thus did ' pon Aeneas call Quoth she I mar'l where thou wert bred To see a woman almost dead And not with helping hand come nigh her Nor lend so much as simple prayer For if thou do'st not come and shake me Another fitt will straightway take me Unless I 'm stir'd and jumbled soundly My guts will never discharge roundly With that for fear of another spatter The Trojans turn'd as weak as water They trembled so in every joint Many in breeches loos'd a point Aeneas then with stomach groans Fell down upon his marrow bones O Phoebus that didst ever pitty Troy town O hearken to my ditty O thou that clapst upon the shoulder Paris and madest him ' gainst foe bolder If to me now thou art difficile Thou maist for the future go whistle I hate ingratitude as the divel I must confess thou hast been civil And willing wert with all thy heart To serve me more than my desert Thou when I was founder'd and weary Hast often made me brisk and merry When candle has been out of socket Thou hast put money in my pocket And when I have been put to shift Thou hast helpt me out at a dead lift In journey and in tedious travel When shooes were stockt with filth and gravel For Italy I am now bound Pray let me come there safe and sound For I had never hither come Were I not drove from house and home Wretched I Anchises poor son Am forc'd to range and seek my fortune Up and down to see me lurk Wou'd move even pitty in a Turk O therefore all ye ranting Heroes That were to Ilium bugs and scare-crows And all ye proud dames that did straddle Scimmington ' pon warlike saddle I hope you are of that good nature To pitty a distressed Creature And you too mother whom I guess To be a witch or Prophetess Pray I may O beldam hag sage To Latium come with bag and baggage To Phoebus by th' foot of Priam And to his simpring sister Dian I 'le dedicate a house though little And resign my right and title I 'le do it there 's my hand believe me Let me be hang'd if I deceive thee 'T is not my nature to be base In honour I 'le not bate an ace But to confirm the bargain well I 'le give thee here my hand and seal And for more convenient tie Witness all the company Let not the writings be destroi'd For then you know the case is void And we shall be but jeer and sport When we come to appear in court At this he prudently gave o're And to that purpose said no more At which the woman 'gan again To be troubled with her pain He that had at that time seen her Would think the Devil had been in her See winst and caper'd as if some Had clapt hot iron to her bum 'T was labour much for one of her age To suffer so much belly garbage At last with volly loud and full She made in cave another stool Rat a tat tat the spirit bounst out And flakes of fierce St. Reverence flounst out After which crack from out behind Broke such an impetuous wind You would have swore her guts were broken As straight set all the trap doors open Her pop gun gave as loud report As Canon charg'd from ' laram'd port At length having appeas'd tail frothing And cleans'd the filth of inner clothing She opt her mouth dropping like snowt Of heavy Winter-idling lowt O thou whom Juno fell with whipcord Has often firkt and claw'd a ship bord Art now ashoar from water butches And out at present of her clutches Yet do'nt thou think thou art secure For thou 'lt o'land more stripes endure The whorson quean before shee'th done Will catch thee again at long run Thou and this thy wretched rabble With much ado at length shall scrabble Into the borders of Lavinus But hold you coxcomb why dost whine thus And there thou 'lt be tormented so Thou 'lt wish thou wert at Jericho And reason have to curse the hour Thou first didst stir foot out of door For I foretel there will be scuffles Many blows bastings and buffles There are a whorson surly tribe there That live about the river Tiber From whom you shall have knocks and raps And thumps and dowses in the chops 'T is well if after all these crosses You shall come home with bloudy noses You 'l meet huge raw-bone Sander huffs As good as Graecian lowts at cuffs They 'r lusty fellows and stand to 't shall At wrestling cudgels or at footbal They 'l kick ye up and down with clump foot Until they make your bellies bump out Unless you caution from me can take They 'l kick thy breech as flat's a pancake Juno agen shall make thee smart And vex thee to thy very heart Nay thou shalt come to such a pass With scarce a rag to hide thy arse And ramble through high-way and street With scarce a stockin to thy feet Thou shalt be when thy food grows scant Ready to eat thy nails for want Thou 'lt begging go from door to door Through Town and Countrey lean and poor Also thou shalt have scratch and battel Tooth and nail with black-list cattle A wench there is given to flickring Who shall be cause of all this bickring However prithee hap what hap Don't in anger burn thy cap. Be bold and when things go amiss Bid fortune and the slaves go kiss But to set thy spirits agog Out of Greece thou shalt have prog Hogs puddings oat-cakes milk and butter Bacon eggs poultrey and a clatter Of pease and beans with pannier'd baggage Of parsnips turnips carrots cabbage These words the Sibyl chopt from cell low And gave as Author says cow-bellow She puzzled him with words and phrases That Janus like had diff'rent faces On one side was vizard uncouth On t'other was the naked truth When in a trice her rage and madness Was turned into sober sadness Her breast that was with fury cramb'd Was now as quiet as a Lamb. So that Aeneas had his leisure And liberty to speak his pleasure Mother quoth he I speak from heart I value not these things a fart I knew before you gave me note I should have holes pickt in my coat Therefore you might have kept your breath To cool your porridge proverb saith I 'me
rendevouz They found an honest fellow nam'd Misenus to all fortune damn'd Who was in filthy pickle laid Dead as a herring and beraid This whipster had a plaguy knack At trumpet blowing and horn-crack By which he cou'd raise sullen coward And make him for the battel toward He had serv'd Hector all the wars In open and in civil jarrs And for his merit had come up To be trumpeter of a troop But when Achilles had in field The Trojan Captain Hector kill'd He made friends to Aeneas for The office that he had before Aeneas pittying his condition Gave him at first word a commission Now how he came dead if you 'l know According to report 't was so Close by a River as he sate A playing ' pon a Flagellate Crying out ever and anon Come who will I 'le yield to none One Triton that was a Sowgelder And in a house of rushes dwelt near Taking it in snuff and dudgeon To hear boasting of vile Curmudgeon Ran and caught him by the shank And shak't him roughly till he stank Then knocking out his brains he slew him And madly into water threw him Aeneas therefore and the rout Stood the mangled corps about Yelling like hounds in a full cry With Irish note why wouldst thou die But 'fore they cou'd in solemn plights Duly perform the funeral rights They put themselves in equipage For work which Sibyl did engage Helter skelter every man In among the thickets ran Where Snakes and Adders without number Did the ground and hedges cumber Some with Hatchets some with Chopping Knives went up and down a lopping Some with Hand-saws some with crooks Axes and wedges pruning-hooks Down went Crab-tree and bush of sloe I marry Elm Oak ground-ash too Nor was Aeneas idle seen But labour'd with tool sharp and keen Suggesting in the rest an ample Encouragement by his example Seeing at last but little hopes To find the bough in spacious copse He 'gan to be quite out of heart Then from his mouth these words did part If in a wood so wide as this I shall not bough I look for miss Then I 'le be sworn O beldam Nun Thou art a Witch as sure 's a gun No sooner had he spake these words But o're his head he spied two birds Flying to ground where grain did grow As swift as arrow out of bow Grammercy quoth Aeneas to 'em My trusty Pidgeons are ye come You being Letter-carriers know All the by-places here I trow My mother Venus has I warrant Sent you to me on an errant I do beseech you of all love Lead me directly to the grove Where glitt'ring bough like Sun-burnt apple Doth the twining branches dapple And Venus if thou dost forsake me In nick of time the Devil take thee The birds well knowing what he utter'd Into the air with all speed clutter'd He stood stark still and markt their flight Till they were almost out of sight Where 't was their aukward luck to hover A stinking house of office over From whence such fumes and hogo's broke forth Enough in all reason to choke both Which made them with a murrain fly Something loftier in the sky Then in a trice whilst you can say What 's this through ayr they cut their way And on the tree concerning which We had discourse before they pitch From whence the place being dark a cluster Of glow-worms cast a dainty lustre Or have you seen in Winter-time On hedge a kind of brittle-slime Or frothy trash which sluggish snail Draws along the ground at tail Such was the brightness of the bough Of which I gave a hint e'ne now Aeneas finds by sign and token It was the same which was fore-spoken Then up he skips as quick and pat As Squirrel or mouse-hunting Cat And off he snapps it at one grapple As greedy as boy Orchard apple With half face-snears and shoulder shrugs He with it to the Sibyl trugs But course of story doth confine us To say something more of Misenus The woful Trojans cryed right out Sniv'ling and casting snot about Some of the rabble men of mettal Heat water in a copper kettal And with purgative soap and wash ball They cleanse away the body's trash all Then on their shoulders forth they fetch it And on a knotty deal-board stretch it His shirt that stood him much in stead Alive must serve him now he 's dead This for a shrowd must wrap his arse Cause linnen was amongst 'em scarce Because there was no Joyner near And Coffins too besides were dear They made a shift and thought it best To lay the corpse in gentle chest Which worms had eaten so all o're There scarce was food for any more His doublet made of hardy leather Which proof was ' gainst all sorts of weather And breeches of undaunted freese Hanging in quirpo down at knees And jerkin lin'd with skin of dog In which he look't like armed hog With other rayment which we may Suppose he wore on holy day Were advantagiously displaid And woollen blanket overlaid Others very busie were at Preparing diet-bread and burnt claret Then up the loaded corpse they fix On backs of brawny Porters six And on to burial place they bore it With links and wax candles before it They pil'd up heaps of faggots higher Than usually are at bonfire And in they cast the carcase whole Burning it straightway to a coal Assoon as e're they saw the fire gone They put reliques in tub of iron Pouring in that little bub That lest was into the said tub Then where we all decline to must It was committed to the dust And many a wish and prayer was given Hoping his soul was gone to heaven Aeneas sent to a stone-cutter To have a tomb-stone fitly put o're On which an Epitaph in Text Was cut with coat of arms annext And there if ever you have been The fellows name is to be seen I know nothing to the contrary But it may there for ever taâ—ry Aeneas after this ado Was in a readiness to go Without faâ—ther stay or quibble As he was order'd by the Sibyl There was a hole broader than what Cou'd cover'd be by buttock fat Much like unto a privy dungeon For quagging Scuâ—t of baud to lunge on Around which an offensive lake In ropes of excrement did flake From whence came such a noisome smell Enough to choak the Devil of hell ' Twoud kill Kites Vultures Ravens Crows Bustards Magpies and Jack-daws Wherefore 't is call'd Avernus by Pedantick Etymologie Aeneas fearing greatly to make An entrance with a fasting stomach Good store of Beef he did command To be roasted out of hand Which soon as e're 't was took from spit He and his men eat every bit And knuckles with promiscuous clatter Scrap't