me like a dead man in the caue of obscurity My soule is highly greeued within mee and mine heart is astonished like vnto his who walking with an erected countenance is by misfortune fallen into the bottome of some pit his sences are forth-with troubled he forthwith loseth his reason and torments himselfe hee knowes not what to will or do till calling his wits together he takes notice of the place where he is and the maner how he fell downe for then hee begins by little and little to get vp againe and to climbe with great labour from the place whereinto hee easily fell 5. Euen so I hauing called to memory from farre the remembrance of things past and representing to my selfe in a deepe meditation the workes of thine hands and considering exactly the things which thou hast wrought namely remembring the state wherein thou diddest create vs and then calling to minde that wherein I finde my selfe now as it were crusht downe in the ruines of sinne I curse the houre wherein my mother conceiued mee I detest the daye which first opened mine eye-liddes to cause mee to looke vppon heauen and earth the witnesses of my weaknesse and at last finding nothing in this world which can comfort mee in this distresse I come againe vnto thee 6. I fall downe on my knees before thee I lift vppe vnto thee mine armes and hands and my soule thirsteth after thy grace with as great a desire as the earth gaping with heate waiteth for a pleasing shower of raine in the hottest time of summer 7. Runne then hastily vnto me ô my God for I am already out of breath my courage faileth and loe I fall fainting downe wilt thou tarry till I am dead I am so already if thou make not the more hast for my sences faile by little and little my soule slideth sweetly out of my body leauing it without motion and I am like vnto him who is let bloud in his foote in hot water whose life runnes out with his bloud not feeling the cause of his death 8. Now ô Lord if thou keepest thy selfe farre from me turning thy countenance away I shall become like vnto those who goe downe into the bottome of the graue pale death will discolour my visage and benum my sences and that which is worsse spirituall death ô my God will kill my soule will fill it with feare and horror and bereaue it of the knowledge of thy singular goodnesse and the hope of grace which shineth in thy wonders like a glistering star in an obscure night 9. Cause me then betimes to vnderstand and feele the effects of thy mercy and in the morning when the sunne shall arise vpon the earth let thy clemency rise vpon me to enlighten mine ignorance and to direct mee in the way of thy commandements But let it not doe ô Lord like thy Sunne who at the end of his race plungeth it selfe in the sea hiding his light for a time from poore mortalls but let it perpetually assist me let it bee no more seperated from mee then my soule from my body for thy mercy is far more the soule of my soule then my soule is the life of my body 10. Let it not then leaue me let the brightnesse thereof still direct my pathes in thy waies let it still guide mee in the way which I must walke to come vnto thee For my spirit which hath throwne it selfe into the middest of the briers of this world which hath gonne astray amongest her thickest bushes can no more finde out her right way but walking at all aduentures loseth both her way and her labour going still back-wards from the place whether shee thought to arriue But my GOD I still waite for thy helpe I hope for succour from an high 11. I am prisoner in the hands of the cruellest enemies of my life make hast ô Lord to deliuer mee thou art my refuge receiue mee into thy protection teach mee what thou wouldest haue mee to doe for thou art my God vnto whome onely I now resolue my selfe to doe seruice Away far far from mee deceitfull pleasure which hereto fore diddest bewitch my soule and poyson my mind thou hast by thy lickorish delights inueigled me and with a little honney thou hast made me swallow a most bitter and deadly pill which spredding it selfe thorow my members hath in such sort mortified and made me giddy as there is small difference betwixt mee and a dead person and my body is not only thus mortified but my soule likewise wherein consisteth the originall of my life present and to come 12. It behooueth then thine holy spirit to come vnto me to warme againe my dying soule to take it by the hand to leade it into safety and to quicken it imprinting in it the image of thy righteousnesse which may defend it against the temptation which on eueryside doth beseege it and threaten her ruine 13. Thou wilt come then and at thine arriuall thou shalt draw my soule out of trouble and in shewing mercy vnto me thou shalt destroy all those which haue conspired against me Then shall my greefe haue an end and theirs beginne it shal be a beginning of their forrow which shall neuer end but as riuers rising out of their springs run on stil bigger bigger vntill they fall into the bosome of the sea which hath no bottome euen so shall their miseries encrease and at the last shall heape vpon them extreame torments and infinite distresse In this manner shall all those perish which vex my soule for ô GOD I am thy faithfull seruant whome thou hast remembred and thou wilt not forget those who in disdaine of my Lord haue so shamefully abused me they laughed at my misery but the time drawes on when they shall bewayle their owne Thy vengeance begins to bee kind bee against them and they shall wither like leaues vpon the trees at the approach of winter O GOD what glory shall I giue vnto thy name and how shall I beginne to declare thy praise shall I publish thy goodnesse in the creation of so many wonderfull workes which are vnderneath the sun thy wisedome in thy preseruation of them shall I preach thy Iustice in the condemnation and punishment of the pride of the Angels and disobedience of men Shall I sing of thy mercy in the redemption of those who offending thy lawe had throwne themselues head-long into the bondage of eternall death to what part of thy prayses may the humble sound of my voyce attaine and though my voyce were able what eares are capable to receiue it All things faile mee ô Lord in this businesse except courage and will which full of feruent affection doe crye out vnto thee Ayde with thy grace their weake strength and seeing the teares of my penitence haue washed away the filth of sinne wherewith my soule was heauily loden giue it now the winges of faith and hope which may carry it with a swift flight into thine armes to reunite
admirable face of thine Thy warth ô Lord is onely vpon such as glory in their sinne and wax stubborne in their iniquity But I thy seruant doe humble my selfe before thee and doe acknowledge that being an vnworthy sinner as I am I durst not appeare in thy presence but that thy clemēcy brings me before thee Thou shalt not then reiect me for thou must forthwith then reiect thy mercy wherevnto I am so strictly bound and tied that as it is not to be seperated from thee euen so can it not bee seauered from my penitence 15. If it please thee then thou shalt dwell with me and seeing it hath pleased thee to aduouch mee for thy seruant and to put mee to this combat thou shalt not forsake mee therein otherwise my destruction would turne to thy shame whereas my victorie will redound to thy glory Now ô Lord cause this ayde to be continually with me For as mine owne infirmity doth ordinarily fight against mee euen so is it needfull that my succour should euer bee at hand If thou estrange thy selfe from mee neuer so little my soule will vanish away in the same maner as would my body by the losse of my soule For thou ô Lord art more the soule of my soule then my soule is the life of my body I do very well know that in mee thou shalt finde a dwelling place in no sort worthy thy diuine Maiestie yet for all that disdaine not to enter into mee where thou commest all magnificence abounds and where thou art there is alwaies honor enough Thou doest not ô Lord honor thy selfe by visiting me but thou thereby doest honor vnto mee thy poore seruant wherefore shouldest thou leaue the brightnesse of the heauens and the glistering of the starres to come downe here on earth to so dishonorable a subiect But as I thinke thou dooest it to giue warning to thine Angels not to growe proud in their magnificence in regarde they are thy creatures and that thou art able to make the basest dweller vpon earth as glorious as they That is the reason why thou descendest from heauen to shew mercy vpon vs and bearing a part in our misery thou commest to re-establish vs in our ancient perfection And because we as much as in vs was haue defaced the image of the diuinity which thou hadst imprinted in vs thou of thine especiall grace commest to renew those beauties and sparkes of our first nature It is thou then which art not onely content to bee our Creator but our redeemer likewise and as thou art our father in like manner it pleaseth thee to bee our protector and defender When all the world forsooke vs thou stretchedst out thine armes vnto vs and diddest receiue vs vnder the wings of thy clemencie 16. I stood in great neede thereof for I knew no more whether to goe My father and mother had forsaken mee that father I say who had tenderly fed and brought mee vp did abhorre mee when hee perceiued that I delighted wholy in thee and that I had left the vanities of this world They beheld mee with sorrow and accounted mee for a lost child The kinde embraces of my bretheren were conuerted into disdaine the sweet friendship of my sisters changed to contempt and the louing welcomes of my friends turned into derision Whether now should I make retreate If my deerest friends vse mee in this manner what will mine enemies doe whose mouth is all bitternesse and tongue poyson whose actions and ordinary exercises are wrongs and reproches But when I am most of all forsaken then art thou neerest vnto mee then doest thou most fauourably embrace mee and most liberally powrest vpon mine head the treasures of thy mercy 17. Now seeing it pleaseth thee in this aboundant manner to bestow thy grace vpon mee to the end I may be able to keep it teach mee how I ought to serue thee Learne mee thy law and how to direct my paths to walke alwayes aright in this narrow thornie way which should conduct mee to the hauen of health For ô Lord I haue left long since that easie beaten way strewed with earthly pleasures and which leadeth those that follow it to destruction and damnation Shew mee then my God thy way for vnder such a guide I shall neuer goe astray shew it I say vnto me ô Lord for if I stray neuer so little I am vndone mine enemies watch to surprise mee and to finde matter to dishonor mee and thy selfe likewise because they know I serue thee truely and faithfully 18. Giue mee not ouer then into their hands to do with me after their hearts desire for they would soone depriue mee both of life and honour They haue already laide their plotte inuented a thousand accusations practised a world of witnesses but their lyes returne vppon themselues and beare witnesse against them Falsehood cannot bee hidden shee lyeth open and truth pierceth it thorow on all sides It is compounded of peeces ill ioyned together which fall a sunder at the first blowe they receiue and beeing opposed against innocencie it melts away like Snowe before the sunne 19. But if as they desir they should heape slanders vpon me and smother me vnder the burthen of their wrongs I would not for all that be discouraged I haue not put my trust ó Lord in the richesse and honours of this world they are commonly the portion of the wicked they are for the most part the rewardes of their perfidious wickednesse and deceits this marchandize is commonly bought with none other money All my trust and hope ô Lord is in thee the world is not able to containe it the fruit of my labours dooth not grow in the land of the dead it is in the land of the liuing that I waite to gather them there doe I hope to see my wealth nay rather thine ó my GOD. Other men looke for the fruite after the blossome but I expect it after the fall of the leafe After that the leafe of my body shall bee fallen I hope that my soule shall flourish with new fruite and shall bee cloathed with the eternall verdure of immortallity 20. Bee patient then my soule and beare thy selfe valiantly redouble thy courage and waite till my GOD come towards thee Bee not astonisht at the prosperitie of the wicked feare thou not though they doe oppresse good men And because thou seest ó Lord that I am not strong enough of my selfe assist and vnderproppe mee least that the affections of the wicked cause mee to remooue foorth of the place where thou diddest set mee second my feruent zeale to the end that hauing fought valiantly in the assault which the wicked make vppon mee I may stand ready when thou shalt open the gate and beeing entred in triumph with thee I may sitte at thy feete at such time when thou shalt iudge the quick and the dead Then wee shall see the great difference betwixt their liues and ours and what reward attends them they haue
thee to inlighten my mind of those things which thou hast ordaided in heauen in the seate of thine eternity Yet ô Lord thou hast supplied that defect and hast led me by the hand to see the secrets of thine eternal wisedome thou hast in a manner rauished me and taken my soule out of my body to make it capable of the diuine light of thy wise purposes 25. In very deed when I enter into the consideration of these wonders my heart fainted and I fell into a swoune what is this ô my God my God what hast thou made mee to see God of my heart God of my thoughts God of my hope God whome I account all my wealth to loue whome I haue hence-forward destined all my affections I know now ô Lord what thou art how iust how mighty and I will neuer more be astonisht to see strange matters in this world the reason whereof I am not able to comprehend For thy councells are wondrous high this wisdome is merueilous deepe But in the ende ô LORD whatsoeuer thou disposest in this world endeth in iustice 26. For all those who forsake thine obedience and leaue thy fauour shall most miserably perrish all those which violate the faith of the alliance which they haue sworne vnto and yet serue their owne concupiscences and commit whoredome with the earth and their fleshly affections all those which polute their consciences and prostitute their soules to wickednesse and impious cogitations shal be rooted out and passe through the fury of thy reuenging hands 27 But as for me ô my God I will neuer depart from thee I will neuer hope for any other good but to be first ioyned to thy sides I will fixe mine eyes vppon thee to the end to obserue thy becke and to conforme my selfe to whatsoeuer thou desirest of me and I will follow steppe by steppe all that which thou shalt commaund me I meane to put all my trust in thee and seeing that I know thee to be al good and almighty as I steedfastly beleeue that thou louest mee I will likewise firmely beleeue that thou wilt ayde mee and giue me whatsoeuer shal be necessary for me ô how goodly and certaine is the hope which is builded on the promise of almighty God who hath giuen mee so many earnest pence of his bounty so many pawnes of his liberallitie and all to make me beleeue that the recompence which he hath promised me for seruing him faithfully is most certaine and sure Wherefore ô my GOD doest thou thus prodigally lode mee with blessings why doest thou promise mee such aboundance of them seeing there is in mee nothing but sinne and infirmitie 28. I know very well ô Lord that it is because I shall haue matter enough to spred abroad euery where of thine immense mercy and vnspeakable goodnesse to the end I may publish thy praise in all the gates in all the streetes of thy holy Sion that going vp into thine holy hill in the middest of those whom thou hast gathered together in thy Church to receiue thy blessings and to serue to thy glory I may acquaint them with the secrets of thy wisdome which thou hast pleased to reueale vnto mee And that directing my voyce by the stile which thy holy spirit hath framed I may bee able to vnfold the sacred mysteries of thine incomprehensible wisedome to the ende that as many as shall heare mee to discourse of the knowledge wherein thou hast instructed mee may admire not mee which am but an hoarce instrument of thy glory but the wonderfull effects of thy quickning spirit which shall animate mee to this godly holy and worthy worke And after ô Lord that thou hast a while kept vs at this stay in this earthly Sion lift vp our eies towards the holy Sion encourage vs to aspire to this blessed dwelling place and teach vs who they are vnto whom thou hast promised it and how wee ought to carry our selues to become worthy of so faire so holy and so glorious an habitation Domine quis habitabit in Tabernaculo Psalme 15. IT is thy pleasure then ô Lord thar this world to vs should be a wearisome Pilgrimage Al day long we walk vp downe in it and at night we can find no rest for our tired members If we thinke to lay downe our heads on our pillowes to giue slumber to our eye-liddes afflictions like so many flies disquiet vs and the very passions which are ingendred in our flesh like dangerous scorpions do waken and poison vs and at the last kill vs vnles we kil them on the wound What may we hope for seeing that as strength decreaseth our euills doe encrease seeing that on what side so euer wee turne our selues wee walke in the middest of this world and this world is euery where full of miseries Where shall wee then expect rest not in this miserable life where wee are sent like champions to the game to encounter with all manner of aduersities but onely ô Lord in thy Tabernacle in the sacred dwelling place of thy diuinity where our trauailes are to bee crowned O happy yea thrice happy hee for whom thou hast prepared this goodly and delectable place of retreate which will sweeten and comfort our passed griefes in the bosome of thy grace and refresh vs in the armes of thy mercy But who are they who shall one day dwell with thee as beholders of thy felicity and glorie for to heare so much as is spoken thereof that place is not accessible to all the world it is a place of fearefull heigth of infinite largenesse decked with incredible magnificence I can no otherwayes describe it then that it is a very high hill on the toppe whereof a maruailous goodly garden is to bee seene set with all sortes of flowers hedged in with an infinite number of fruit-trees watered with cleere and running fountaines it is verely an hill for to mount it it behooues vs to climbe vpon all sides on tribulations a hundred times harder then flint or rocks And in ascending it we must goe still farther and farther from the center of the earth that is to say from the loue thereof and to put all sensuall and earthly affections vnder foot It is indeed like a flourishing garden for there groweth seedes and causes of all thinges which do daily flourish with infinite faire effects and excellent workmanship it hath for compartiments the goodly disposing of the worlds parts so iustly measured as nothing more the fruits are the sweete and sauory contemplations of wisedome wherewith it nourisheth and filleth those soules that dwell there it hath for fountaines the springs gushing foorrh of the eternall goodnes which poures it selfe from on high into all the parts of the world doth continnually bath and refresh them O faire and holy hill who shall ascend thy toppe who shall rest in the very bosome of so goodly and so delectable a mansion 2. He who purified in the sacred flames of an