Selected quad for the lemma: cause_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) |
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A34159
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The Complaisant companion, or, New jests, witty reparties, bulls, rhodomontado's, and pleasant novels
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1674
(1674)
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Wing C5627; ESTC R20756
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109,488
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244
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took two Iron Chests the bigger of the two he filled with Lead and the other with Silver and bid his Page take which he would of them in recompence of his Service the Page took the biggest which the Emperour caused him to open and there he found nothing but Lead the other he opned himself and show'd him it was Silver Now said the Emperour thou knowest thy Fortune the fault was none of mine that thy choice was no better and that thou wert not made rich for thou hast refused thy good fortune when it was offered thee On the Duke of Millain THE Duke of Millain being besieged in a Castle by the Florentines one day at dinner he quarrell'd with his Victuals and child his Cook severely for the ill ordering of his meat and sauce whereupon the witty Cook reply'd My Lord your meat is well enough dressed but the florentines have put your mouth out of taste On the Marquess of Guast BEfore the Battle Fought at Serrizales the Marquess of Guast assuring himself of the Victory gave his Jester a Suit of Armour fairly guilt and a Spanish Jennet with a promise of five hundred Duckets if he would be the first should carry news to his Wife of his Victory but it so hapned that the French did beat the Emperour's Army and the Jester was taken and brought before the Lord Anguien who perceived who he was asked who had furnish'd him in that splendid manner My Lord replyed he The Marquess who gave me my Horse and Armes and should have given me Five hundred Duckets to go and tell my Lady his Wife the first tidings of his Victory but to save the money I believe he is posted thither in person Vpon two Scholars and an Ass TWO young Scholars Travelling from Roan to Paris there to study met by the way with a Countrey-fellow riding on an Ass which bray'd in such manner as if he had been overjoy'd to be in such Learned Society these Students thinking to put a trick on the Paisant said Friend why do you let your Brother cry in that manner cannot you find out any way to still and quiet him The Paisant who was none of the most ignorant of the Parish wherein he dwelt answered My Ass Sirs is so extreamly pleased to meet with his Relations and old Acquaintance he could do no less then sing a Song of Mirth and merry glee in testimony of your hearty welcome to him On a Painter drawing a Maid at Paris A Gentlewoman of singular beauty but highly conceited thereof went to an Eminent Painter at Paris ordering him to draw her Picture like a Maid to the Life in little and yet represent her in full proportion The Painter did as much as in him lay and carried home the Picture to the Gentlewoman who misliked nothing therein but that he had drawn her too little The Painter excusing himself said Madam I believe considering your Age it is very hard to find a Maid so big as you On a Rheumatick Gentleman Courting a Lady A Gentleman of Paris that was much troubled with Rheum was Complementing a Lady in the Loure who by reason of that distemper was forced to spit at every Sentence the Lady perceiving it who was furnished with whatever Art or Nature could bestow upon her said in reality Sir your mouth overflows you would do well to take some course to drain that Fenny Body of yours least in time it lye totally drown d in that Phlegmatick humour Pardon me Madam wittily Repartied this Gentleman If I say you are the cause of this distemper if it be any for how is it possible for a man to look on such a dainty curious piece of Flesh as yours is and his mouth not water On Charles the Fifth CHarles the Fifth going privately to visit the Convent of the Jacobins in Vienna met by the way with a Fellow who got his living by Hogs and then had a sucking Pig in his Arms going to market which in the way grunted so much that the Emperour could not endure it wherefore said do you hear friend have you not got the art of stilling a Pig when he Cryes the Fellow not knowing him to be the Emperour seeing him not only meanly clad but slenderly attended said Sir it is a secret I understand not however I shall be much obliged if you will inform me how to do it Why then said the Emperour if you will have your Pig leave off grunting take and hold him by the tail which the Fellow trying found effectual hereupon he said In troth Sir be whom you will I see you have not your trade to learn now for though I have been a Pig-merchant this thirty years you 'r more knowing in it then I. The Soldiers witty Repartie LEwis the Twelfth King of France taking a view one day of his Army in the Plain of Chartrese saw three Soldiers together terribly slasht over the Face and carrying their Armes in a Scarf whereupon he said Gentlemen how came you thus to be so roughly handled by our Enemies said one of the three it seems then said the King they were too hard for you and so consequently the better men your pardon â—r said one we judge it no such matter for as they hurt â—â— so we kilâ—'d them On a proud Parisian Curtizan A Cyprian Dame who had spent a considerable time in the Service of Venus growing old bethought her self how she should spend the residue of her days and resolved upon the ancient and Venerable Profession for a Bawd and that she might not be altogether destitute of these pleasures she procur'd others she painted egregiously A Gentleman one time coming to her house and taking notice how ill she had laid on the Fucus or paint Drollingly said Most incomparable Madam I cannot look in your face but the lustre thereof makes my Eyes dazle do they so said she I am sorry your Eyes are so weak the Bastard Eagle cannot look against the Sun I wish your Eyes better that they may be able to Contemplate my greater splendour Cuckoldry wittily return'd A Young married Gentlewoman of the Town of Alerson in Normandy had a Parrot whom amongst other things used to say walk Cuckold walk One day a Doctor of Physick of her acquaintance coming that way she perceiving him by often repeating those words the Parrot spoke nothing else as he past along the Doctor seeing the Gentlewoman by the Cage made a stop and said Madam you have done very well to teach your Parrot to call men by their proper names as Walk Cuckold walk but you would have done much better if you had taught him how to distinguish persons which I perceive he is ignorant of for he takes me to be your Husband On a blind man and a Royal Bastard THE Count D' Avergne going with a Natural Son to the King of France to the Church in Paris call'd Quinze Vingts a place designed for the relief of the poor blind in the Church-yard