mee with the blessings of thy sweetnesse even from the beginnings for thou O Lord and my hope from the very time that I was a suckling yea before I was borne hast provided and prepared the waies that I should walk in and by them attain to the glory of thy heavenly Kingdome thou hast knowne mee before thou didst forme mee in my mothers belly and before I issued out of my mothers wombe thou hast preordained of mee whatsoever seemed good to thy divine pleasure I know not O Lord what things are written of me in thy Booke in the secret of thy Consistory which make me to feare exceedingly but thou knowest them all particularly because that which I expect by succession of dayes and times a thousand yeeres hence to bee fulfilled in the sight of thy Eternity is already accomplished and that which is to come is already done but I for that I know not these things living heer in a darke and obscure night cannot but feare and tremble whilest I see sundry dangers on every side assaulting me troupes of enemies pursuing me and infinite miseries of this life invironing me And were it not that the ayd of thy grace doth succour me in these my manifold tribulations I should soon fall into desperation but I have a great hope and confidence O my God in thee who art a God of unspeakable mercy and pity and the consideration of thy infinite mercies are no small comfort unto mee in my miseries The former tokens likewise of thy love and mercies shewed towards me before my nativity but appearing now especially doe put mee in hope for the time to come to receive more ample and greater favours from the hands of thy bountifull liberality which thou doest reserve for thy friends and those that love thee to the end that my hope may rejoice in thee O Lord my God with a sacred and lively cheerefulnesse with which thou doest continually comfort my old disconsolate years CHAP. XII O God of Gods O Lord in mercy surmounting the malice of men I know thou wilt not alwaies be silent then I meane when a flaming fire shall burne before thee and a terrible tempest shall showre down round about thee when thou shalt call both Heaven and earth to judge and discerne thy people and lo in the presence of so many millions of people all mine iniquities shall be revealed before so many troops of Angels all my abominations shall be displayed not only of my actions but likewise of my words and cogitations there shall I poore wretch stand to be judged by so many as have gone before me in doing good I shall by so many accusers be thought worthy of Hell as have given mee example to live well I shall be convinced by so many witnesses as have admonished me by their wholsome speeches and by their godly pious conversation have carried themselves worthy of imitation O my Lord I know not what to say I know not what to answer and albeit I am as yet free from that terrible danger neverthelesse my conscience doth afflict me the hidden secrets of my heart do torment mee coveteousnesse doth presse me pride doth accuse me envy doeth consume mee concupiscense doeth enflame me lust doeth molest me gluttony doth disgrace me drunkennesse doth convince me detraction doth rent me anger doth disturbe me behold O my deliverer who hast delivered me out of the hands of cruell people behold with whom I have lived from the day of my birth with whom I have studied and with whom I have kept promise those very studies which heertofore I affected doe condemne mee which in times past I praysed do now dispraise me These are the friends to whom I have assented the teachers whom I have obeyed the masters whom I have served the counsellours whom I have beleeved and the familiar acquaintance to whom I have consented Woe is me O my God for that my abode heere is prolonged woe is me O my light for that I have lived with those that live in darkness and seeing holy David sayd so much how much more may I bee able to say my soule hath dwelt too long in a strange land O my God my force my fortress no man can be justified in thy sight my hope is not in the sons of men Whom wouldest thou finde justified if thou shouldest judge severely setting mercy aside neither is there any thing whereof a just man may vaunt or which can bring him to glory unlesse thou prevent him before hand with thy mercy and pitty I therefore O my Saviour believe what I have heard that it is thy goodnesse that doth draw mee to repentance thy holy lips have told it me No man can come to me unless my Father who hath sent me draw him Seeing therefore it hath pleased thee to instruct me and by instruction hast vouchsafed mercifully to informe me I beseech thee with all the forces of my heart and mind O Almighty Father together with thy most beloved Son I beseech thee likewise O most blessed Saviour with the holy and blessed Spirit vouchsafe to draw me unto thee that I may run after thee and forsaking all things transitory I may only adhere unto thee and devote my soule and body only to thy service Who is like unto thee O Lord my God thou art great in sanctity terrible and worthy to be praised doing things that deserve to be admired too too late have I knowne thee O true light too late have I known thee and the cause was for that there was a great and dark cloud before my eies that delighted in vanity which hindered me from beholding the Sun of justice and the Light of all verity I was wrapt in darknesse being the child of darkness I loved darkness because I knew not the light I was blind and loved blindness and walked through one darknes into another who hath delivered me from thence where I remained as a blind man sitting in darknesse and in the shaddow of death who hath taken me by the hand and led met forth of the same who is he that hath thus enlightened me I sought him not and he called me but who is he thou art he O Lord my God being most mercifull and pittifull yea the father of mercies and God of all comfort Thou O Lord my God most holy art he that hath done the same whom I confesse with my whole heart rendring thanks to thy holy Name I did not seeke thee thou hast sought me I did not call upon thee thou hast called me Thou hast thundred from Heaven with a great voyce into the internall care of my heart saying let light be made and light was made whereupon that great and dark cloud which had covered my eies departed and was dissolved whereby I have seene thy light and known thy voyce I said truly O Lord thou art my God who hast delivered mee out of darkness and from the shaddow of death calling mee into the admirable
sing O happy soule who present dost Behold so great a King And from thy lofty throne surviewst The underwheeling Globes The sun the moon al the heavens In star bespangled robes O Christ the palme of warriors Vouchsafe me of thy pity To make me when I end my war A freeman of this City Grant me among these Citizens Thy bounties to pertake Meane while assist me with thy ayd A happy fight to make That warring out my time the rest In quiet I may spend And for my guerdon thee injoy For ever without end Amen A serious discourse concerning the Day of Death LET us imagine how the time being now come in which the sinfull soule is to be separated from the bands of the body with how grievous feare it is terrified with how great anguish of an afflicted conscience it is tormented it remembers the things forbidden which it hath committed it beholdeth the Commandements of God which through negligence and contempt it hath omitted it grieveth that the time which it had to repent hath been so vainly imployed it grieveth the imutable moment of severe revenge is so near at hand not possible to bee avoyded it would fain stay it is forced to depart it would faine recover that which it hath lost and cannot be heard it looketh backward upon the course of its whole life past and esteemeth it to be but as it were one onely little pace it looketh forward and seeth infinite worlds of time which shall never have end It lamenteth therfore for having lost the joyes of all eternity which it might have gained so quickly it weepeth likewise that for the short pleasure of the alluring flesh it is bereaved of everlasting happinesse it blusheth that for the substance sake which is to be meat for wormes it hath neglected that which should have been placed amongst the quires of Angels At length it lifteth up the eyes of its mind and considering the glory of the immortall riches of Heaven it is ashamed that for the love of the beggery of this present life it hath lost that glory againe when it looketh downwards upon the vaile of this world as upon a mist and contrariwise seeing above it the brightnesse of that eternall light it plainly perceiveth that that which was loved was but darknesse and night Oh if it could obtaine the favour to have some little time for repentance how austere would it be in life and conversation how many and how great matters would it promise to perform how strictly would it binde it selfe to piety and devotion in the meane season whilst the eye-sight faileth and whilst the heart panteth and the throat doth draw breath with difficulty whilst the countenance groweth pale and all the members of the body become stiffe through cold whilst these things and other such like happen as certain signes of death approaching all its works and words present themselves before it yea it s very thoughts are not wanting and all these give bitter testimony against it as against the Authour of them All its sins and iniquities are laid as it were in heaps before its eyes and those which it is unwilling to see it is forced to behold whether it will or no. Moreover on the one side of it it beholdeth a terrible troop of dreadful Devils on the other side a multitude of heavenly Angels the soule that lyeth in the middest quickly perceiveth to which of these companies it appertaineth for if there bee seen in it the signes and tokens of goodnesse it is comforted by the comfortable speeches of the Angels and by the sweetness of their harmonious melody it is allured to come forth of the body contrariwise if the darkness of its deserts and deformity of its filthinesse do adjudge it to the left hand it is forthwith strucken with intolerable fear it is troubled through the foâ—ce of the sudden violence that is used it is throwne down headlong and assaulted and poor soule is forcibly pluckt out of the prison of the flesh that it may be drawn to eternall torments with unspeakable bitternesse Now after it is departed out of the body who is able to expresse how many troops of wicked spirits do lie in wait to intrap it how many bands of frowning fiends being ready with cruell torments to afflict it doe beset the way to hinder his passage and to the end it may not escape and passe through them whole legions of them do assault the same Wherefore to consider these and such like things by frequent meditation is a soveraigne meanes to contemne the inticing allurements of sin to abandon the world and to subdue the unlawfull motions of the flesh and finally doth cause and conserve in us a continuall desire of attaining to perfection which God of his mercy grant us Amen ALmighty God and all mercifull Father which art the Physitian of my body and soule in thy hands are life and death thou bringest to the grave and pullest backe againe I came into the world upon condition to forsake it whensoever thou wouldest call me and now the Sumners are come thy fetters hold mee and none can loose mee but hee that bound me I am sick in body and in soule but he hath strucken me which in judgement sheweth mercy I deserved to die so soon as I came to life but thou hast preserved me till now and shall this mercy be in vaine as though I were preserved for nothing who can praise thee in the grave I have done thee no service since I was borne but my goodness is to come and shall I die before I begin to live but Lord thou knowest what is best of all and if thou convert me I shall be converted in an instant and as thou acceptedst the will of David as well as the act of Solomon so thou wilt accept my desire to serve thee as well as if I had lived to glorifie thee the spirit is willing but the flesh is fraile and as I did live sinfully whensoever thy spirit was from me so I shal die unwillingly unlesse thy spirit prepare me therefore dear Father give me that minde which a sick man should have and increase my patience with my pain and call unto my remembrance all which I have heard or read or felt or meditated to strengthen mee in this hour of my triall that I which never taught any good while I lived may now teach others how to dye to bear their sickness patiently apply unto me all the mercies and merits of thy beloved Son as if he had died for me alone be not far from me when the enemy comes but when the tempter is busiest let thy spirit be busie too and if it please thee to loose me out of this prison when I shall leave my earth to earth let thy Angels carry up my soule to Heaven as they did Lazarus and place me in one of those Mansions which thy Son is gone to prepare for me this is my Mediator which hath
truth Chap. 6. HOld friendship with many nevertheless have but one Councellor of a thousand Depart from thy enemies and bee wary of thy friends Chap. 7. LEt not them that weep be without comfort Bur mourne with such as mourne Whatsoever thou takest in hand remember the end and thou shalt never do amiss Chap. 8. DEspise not a man that turneth himselfe away from sin nor cast him not in the teeth withall but remember that we are all worthy of blame Chap. 9. TRy thy neighbor as near as thou canst and ask Counsell of the wise Let thy talk be with the wise and all thy communication in the Law of the most high Let just men eat and drink with thee and let thy rejoycing be in the fear of the Lord. Chap. 10. GOd destroyeth the memoriall of the proud and leaveth the remembrance of the humble Pride was not created in men neither wrath in the generation of women The feare of the Lord is the glory as well of the rich and the noble as of the poore It is not meet to despise the poore man that hath understanding neither is it convenient to magnifie the rich that is a wicked man The great man and the Judge and the man in authority are honourable yet is there none greater then he that feareth the Lord. Chap. 11. VVIsdome setteth up the head of him that is low and maketh him to sit among great men Commend not a man for his beauty neither despise a man in his outward appearance Be not proud of clothing and rayment and exalt not thy selfe in the day of honour for the works of the Lord are wonderfull and glorious secret and unknown are his works among men Blame no man before thou hast inquired the matter understand first and then reforme righteously Give no sentence before thou hast heard the Cause neither interrupt men in the midst of their tales Prosperity and adversity life and death poverty and riches come of the Lord. The gift of the Lord remaineth for the godly and his good will giveth prosperity for ever In thy good state remember adversity and in adversity forget not prosperity For it is an easie thing unto the Lord in the day of death to reward a man according to his wayes The adversity of an houre maketh one to forget pleasure and in a mans end his works are discovered Judge no man blessed before his death Chap. 12. VVHen thou wilt doe good know to whom thou dost it so shalt thou be thanked for thy benefits Do good unto the righteous and thou shalt find great reward though not of him yet of the most high Bind not two sins together for there shall not one be unpunnished Chap. 14. BLessed is the man that hath not falne by the word of his mouth and is not tormented with the sorrow of sinne Blessed is the man that is not condemned in his conscience and is not falne from his hope in the Lord. Doe good unto thy friend before thou dye and according to thy ability stretch out thy hand and give him He that feareth the Lord will doe good and he that hath the knowledge of the Law will keep it sure Chap. 21. MY son hast thou sinned do so no more but pray for the former sins that they may be forgiven thee Flye from sinne as from a serpent for if thou commest neare it it will bite thee the teeth thereof are as the teeth of a Lyon to slay the soules of men All iniquity is as a two edged sword the wounds where of cannot be healed The prayer of the poore going out of the mouth commeth unto the ears of the Lord and justice is done unto him incontinently Whoso hateth to be reformed is in the way of sinners but he that feareth the Lord converteth in heart Chap. 23. ACcustom not thy mouth to swearing for in it there are many falls neither take up for a custome the naming of the Holy one for thou shalt not bee unpunished for such things A man that useth much swearing shall be filled with wickednesse and the plague shal never go frō his hous when he shall offend his fault shal be upon him and if he acknowledge not his sinne he maketh a double offence and if he sweare in vaine he shall not be innocent but his house shall be full of plagues Who shall set a watch before my mouth and a seale of wisdome upon my lips that I fall not suddenly and that my tongue destroy me not O Lord Father and Governour of my whole life leave me not to the Counsell of the wicked and let mee not fall by them Who will correct my thought and put the doctrine of wisdome in mine heart lest my ignorances increase and my sins abound to my destruction and lest I fall before my adversaries and my enemies rejoyce over mee whose hope is far from thy mercy O Lord Father and God of my life leave me not in their imaginations neither give me a proud looke but turne away from thy servant a haughty minde Take from me vaine hope and concupiscence and retaine him in obedience that desireth continually to serve thee Let not the greedinesse of the belly nor lust of the flesh hold me and give not me thy servant over into an impudent minde FINIS