i_o remain_v so_o alter_v yea_o and_o so_o astonish_v that_o i_o intend_v to_o see_v that_o person_n no_o more_o it_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n that_o i_o know_v not_o at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o one_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n but_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o body_n and_o the_o devil_n be_v careful_a enough_o to_o continue_v i_o in_o that_o erroneous_a opinion_n and_o to_o make_v i_o still_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v impossible_a and_o therefore_o that_o i_o have_v but_o fancy_v certain_a thing_n to_o myself_o and_o that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v a_o work_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o he_o bring_v many_o suggestion_n like_o this_o upon_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o be_v very_o confident_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o be_v god_n and_o no_o conceit_n or_o fancy_n at_o all_o but_o yet_o still_o because_o it_o induce_v i_o to_o do_v thing_n which_o be_v against_o my_o gust_n i_o do_v the_o best_a i_o can_v even_o to_o belie_v my_o very_a self_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o dare_v not_o confer_v with_o any_o body_n about_o this_o particular_a and_o find_v myself_o also_o extreme_o importune_v afterward_o and_o be_v wish_v to_o be_v assure_v that_o it_o can_v not_o be_v ill_o do_v to_o see_v such_o a_o person_n as_o that_o and_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o loss_n of_o honour_n by_o it_o but_o rather_o gain_v i_o return_v to_o enjoy_v the_o same_o conversation_n yea_o and_o also_o at_o other_o time_n i_o converse_v in_o like_a manner_n with_o other_o for_o they_o be_v many_o year_n wherein_o i_o take_v this_o pestilential_a recreation_n and_o when_o once_o i_o be_v far_o embark_v therein_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o i_o to_o be_v so_o very_a ill_n as_o yet_o indeed_o it_o be_v though_o still_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o sometime_o i_o discern_v clear_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v not_o good_a but_o yet_o no_o other_o conversation_n distract_v i_o so_o much_o as_o this_o in_o particular_a do_v by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a affection_n which_o i_o bear_v to_o the_o party_n but_o myself_o be_v afterward_o again_o with_o the_o same_o person_n we_o both_o of_o we_o see_v come_v towards_o we_o and_o there_o be_v other_o also_o present_a who_o see_v it_o too_o a_o certain_a thing_n which_o have_v the_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a toad_n and_o it_o press_v and_o pass_v on_o with_o very_o much_o more_o speed_n than_o such_o creature_n use_v to_o have_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o conceive_v how_o such_o a_o filthy_a beast_n as_o that_o shall_v get_v into_o that_o room_n through_o that_o part_n from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v at_o noon_n day_n nor_o have_v ever_o any_o such_o thing_n be_v see_v there_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o wrought_v with_o i_o seem_v not_o to_o have_v be_v void_a of_o some_o mystery_n and_o this_o also_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o can_v never_o forget_v but_o o_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n with_o how_o much_o care_n &_o pity_n be_v thou_o admonish_v i_o in_o so_o many_o kind_n and_o by_o so_o many_o way_n &_o how_o little_a do_v i_o permit_v that_o all_o these_o warning_n shall_v help_v there_o be_v also_o there_o at_o that_o time_n a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n of_o my_o kindred_n and_o she_o be_v ancient_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o of_o much_o discipline_n in_o her_o religious_a order_n she_o also_o will_v sometime_o be_v give_v i_o good_a counsel_n but_o i_o do_v not_o only_o not_o believe_v she_o but_o be_v also_o disgu_v with_o she_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o will_v needs_o take_v scandal_n at_o i_o without_o cause_n and_o this_o i_o here_o relate_v to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o my_o wickedness_n and_o the_o great_a goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v be_v the_o better_o understand_v and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v know_v how_o well_o i_o deserve_a hell_n for_o my_o great_a ingratitude_n and_o i_o do_v it_o also_o to_o this_o end_n that_o if_o our_o lord_n may_v so_o ordain_v &_o be_v please_v that_o any_o religious_a woman_n may_v fall_v upon_o read_v this_o discourse_n they_o may_v be_v bring_v to_o be_v careful_a to_o take_v warning_n by_o i_o and_o i_o beg_v of_o they_o that_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n they_o will_v take_v heed_n of_o such_o recreation_n as_o these_o and_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o some_o one_o of_o they_o may_v be_v disabused_n who_o i_o have_v deceive_v when_o i_o tell_v they_o that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_a and_o when_o be_v in_o such_o blindness_n at_o that_o time_n i_o procure_v to_o assure_v they_o that_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n at_o all_o and_o in_o regard_n also_o that_o by_o the_o ill_a example_n which_o i_o give_v give_v they_o as_o i_o have_v relate_v here_o i_o be_v a_o cause_n to_o they_o of_o great_a mischief_n while_o yet_o i_o think_v not_o that_o i_o do_v so_o much_o hurt_v and_o though_o also_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o i_o have_v no_o design_n at_o all_o to_o deceive_v they_o but_o now_o even_o 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declare_v grow_v to_o settle_v himself_o so_o very_o well_o in_o this_o exercise_n that_o he_o come_v within_o five_o or_o six_o year_n for_o so_o long_o i_o think_v it_o be_v to_o be_v so_o well_o improve_v and_o advance_v therein_o that_o i_o bless_v our_o lord_n much_o for_o the_o favour_n and_o it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a consolation_n the_o trouble_n and_o cross_n which_o he_o endure_v be_v very_o great_a and_o of_o many_o kind_n and_o he_o pass_v through_o they_o all_o with_o much_o conformity_n to_o the_o will_n of_o our_o lord_n he_o come_v to_o see_v i_o often_o and_o be_v great_o comfort_v to_o treat_v of_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o when_o now_o i_o live_v so_o distract_v and_o diffuse_v without_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o see_v withal_o that_o he_o conceive_v i_o to_o be_v still_o the_o very_a same_o that_o i_o have_v be_v before_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o endure_v to_o live_v without_o undeceaving_a he_o for_o i_o have_v then_o be_v a_o year_n and_o more_o without_o mental_a prayer_n as_o think_v it_o more_o humility_n for_o i_o to_o abstain_v and_o this_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o be_v the_o great_a and_o worst_a temptation_n that_o ever_o i_o have_v for_o by_o this_o mean_n iranne_n headlong_o upon_o my_o total_a ruin_n whereas_o when_o i_o frequent_v prayer_n if_o i_o offend_v god_n one_o day_n i_o return_v to_o recollect_v myself_o upon_o another_o and_o so_o to_o absent_v myself_o from_o the_o occasion_n but_o that_o bless_a man_n my_o father_n come_v to_o see_v i_o in_o such_o state_n as_o this_o it_o be_v too_o much_o for_o i_o as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o let_v he_o walk_v on_o so_o far_o in_o error_n as_o to_o think_v that_o i_o still_o converse_v with_o god_n in_o prayer_n as_o former_o i_o have_v do_v and_o so_o i_o tell_v he_o then_o that_o i_o do_v no_o long_o use_v mental_a prayer_n though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o tell_v he_o the_o cause_n thereof_o but_o i_o allege_v my_o infirmity_n for_o the_o reason_n and_o that_o although_o i_o be_v recover_v of_o the_o main_n sickness_n i_o have_v yet_o disease_n yea_o and_o very_o great_a one_o still_o and_o that_o although_o of_o late_a they_o have_v not_o assault_v i_o with_o so_o very_a great_a fierceness_n as_o before_o yet_o they_o fail_v not_o still_o to_o continue_v and_o to_o exercise_v i_o also_o in_o many_o kind_n in_o particular_a that_o i_o have_v certain_a vomit_n for_o twenty_o year_n together_o every_o morning_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o can_v never_o break_v my_o fast_n till_o noon_n be_v past_a yea_o and_o
a_o firm_a foundation_n so_o that_o the_o true_a love_n of_o god_n consist_v not_o in_o have_v tear_n or_o tenderness_n or_o spiritual_a gust_n which_o we_o be_v wont_n for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o desire_v and_o to_o take_v comfort_n in_o but_o to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o word_n justice_n and_o fortitude_n and_o humility_n for_o in_o that_o other_o course_n i_o think_v we_o be_v rather_o on_o the_o take_a hand_n then_o on_o the_o give_n any_o thing_n of_o our_o own_o as_o for_o poor_a weak_a silly_a woman_n and_o who_o be_v of_o little_a courage_n like_v i_o i_o think_v i_o can_v find_v it_o fit_a that_o our_o lord_n shall_v carry_v they_o on_o with_o regalo_n that_o so_o they_o may_v be_v the_o better_o induce_v to_o suffer_v those_o affliction_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o they_o shall_v bear_v but_o for_o the_o true_a servant_n of_o god_n man_n of_o substance_n and_o solid_a way_n man_n of_o learning_n and_o understanding_n to_o make_v so_o much_o reflection_n upon_o god_n be_v not_o give_v they_o tenderness_n of_o devotion_n as_o i_o see_v they_o do_v i_o confess_v it_o give_v i_o disgust_v even_o to_o hear_v it_o i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o they_o shall_v receive_v these_o spiritual_a delight_n when_o god_n give_v they_o yea_o and_o that_o they_o shall_v esteem_v they_o very_o much_o because_o in_o that_o case_n his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v have_v see_v that_o they_o be_v convenient_a for_o they_o but_o only_o that_o when_o they_o have_v they_o not_o they_o shall_v not_o vex_v themselves_o and_o that_o they_o shall_v also_o understand_v that_o when_o god_n give_v they_o not_o they_o be_v not_o convenient_a for_o they_o but_o that_o they_o ought_v to_o be_v and_o remain_v the_o lord_n of_o themselves_o in_o all_o thing_n let_v they_o believe_v that_o this_o be_v a_o defect_n and_o fault_n in_o they_o for_o i_o have_v see_v and_o try_v it_o let_v they_o believe_v that_o this_o be_v a_o imperfection_n and_o that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o walk_v on_o with_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o rather_o like_o weak_a and_o cowardly_a people_n who_o dare_v not_o set_v upon_o difficulty_n and_o i_o say_v not_o this_o so_o much_o for_o they_o who_o be_v but_o beginner_n though_o yet_o i_o press_v it_o so_o far_o because_o it_o import_v very_o much_o that_o they_o begin_v with_o this_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n and_o resolution_n but_o even_o for_o other_o also_o for_o there_o be_v many_o who_o have_v already_o begin_v and_o yet_o who_o never_o in_o fine_a resolve_v upon_o do_v herein_o home_n what_o they_o ought_v and_o i_o believe_v that_o this_o proceed_v in_o great_a part_n from_o their_o not_o resolve_v to_o take_v up_o and_o carry_v this_o cross_n from_o the_o very_a beginning_n for_o such_o shall_v go_v on_o still_o afflict_v as_o conceave_a that_o all_o that_o be_v nothing_o which_o they_o do_v because_o when_o the_o understanding_n gives-ove_a to_o work_v and_o act_n they_o use_v not_o to_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o and_o yet_o perhaps_o they_o will_v grow_v even_o fat_a and_o strong_a at_o the_o very_a self_n same_o time_n though_o themselves_o understand_v it_o not_o to_o be_v so_o we_o be_v to_o think_v and_o know_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v not_o consider_v and_o care_n for_o these_o thing_n for_o howsoever_o ourselves_o may_v think_v that_o they_o be_v fault_n yet_o they_o be_v not_o so_o indeed_o and_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v our_o misery_n and_o base_a condition_n much_o better_o than_o ourselves_o and_o consider_v that_o these_o soul_n desire_v to_o be_v think_v always_o upon_o he_o and_o that_o they_o desire_v to_o love_v he_o and_o this_o be_v that_o firm_a purpose_n which_o he_o value_v and_o expect_v at_o our_o hand_n but_o that_o other_o be_v but_o a_o affliction_n which_o we_o bring_v upon_o ourselves_o for_o it_o serve_v but_o to_o disquiet_v the_o soul_n and_o to_o give_v occasion_n that_o if_o before_o it_o be_v unable_a to_o take_v any_o benefit_n by_o serve_v god_n for_o one_o hour_n it_o may_v now_o be_v so_o for_o four_o and_o many_o time_n for_o i_o have_v very_o great_a experience_n of_o this_o case_n and_o know_v it_o to_o be_v true_a because_o i_o have_v both_o consider_v it_o with_o care_n and_o have_v also_o treat_v about_o it_o with_o spiritual_a person_n this_o grow_v even_o from_o our_o corporal_a indisposition_n for_o we_o be_v so_o very_o total_o infirm_a that_o this_o poor_a little_a wretched_a soul_n of_o we_o participate_v in_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o body_n and_o even_o the_o alteration_n of_o the_o weather_n and_o the_o revolution_n of_o their_o own_o natural_a humour_n be_v many_o time_n the_o occasion_n why_o without_o even_o any_o fault_n of_o their_o own_o they_o can_v well_o do_v even_o what_o they_o will_v but_o be_v fain_o to_o suffer_v thus_o in_o all_o kind_n and_o when_o they_o strive_v to_o force_v themselves_o in_o these_o coniuncture_n of_o time_n it_o prove_v to_o be_v so_o much_o the_o worse_o with_o they_o and_o the_o inconvenience_n will_v last_v so_o much_o the_o long_o but_o discretion_n must_v be_v use_v herein_o to_o weigh_v when_o this_o effect_n proceed_v from_o this_o cause_n and_o they_o must_v not_o oppress_v and_o stifle_v this_o poor_a soul_n but_o understand_v and_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v sick_a let_v the_o hour_n of_o prayer_n in_o god_n name_n be_v change_v yea_o and_o many_o time_n it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o do_v so_o for_o some_o day_n and_o let_v they_o pass_v through_o this_o bannishment_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o they_o can_v since_o it_o be_v misfortune_n and_o misery_n enough_o for_o a_o soul_n which_o do_v indeed_o love_v almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o she_o live_v in_o so_o great_a misery_n and_o that_o she_o be_v no_o way_n able_a to_o do_v even_o what_o herself_o desire_v in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v lodge_v with_o so_o untoward_a and_o ill_o a_o host_n as_o this_o body_n be_v i_o say_v this_o be_v to_o be_v do_v with_o discretion_n because_o sometime_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v a_o cause_n of_o these_o thing_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v good_a neither_o always_o to_o leave_v the_o usual_a &_o set_a time_n of_o prayer_n whensoever_o there_o may_v be_v great_a disturbance_n and_o distraction_n in_o the_o understanding_n nor_o yet_o always_o to_o stand_v torment_v the_o soul_n towards_o the_o make_n it_o do_v more_o than_o it_o can_v there_o be_v also_o other_o exterior_a work_n of_o charity_n &_o of_o read_v also_o which_o may_v be_v use_v though_o yet_o sometime_o the_o soul_n will_v not_o be_v so_o much_o as_o fit_a even_o for_o that_o but_o in_o that_o case_n let_v the_o mind_n be_v even_o subject_a as_o it_o be_v to_o the_o body_n for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o many_o other_o time_n the_o body_n serve_v the_o soul_n and_o let_v the_o party_n in_o such_o case_n take_v the_o entertainment_n and_o pastime_n of_o conversation_n with_o other_o so_o that_o it_o be_v holy_a or_o divert_v himself_o with_o go_v a_o little_a abroad_o to_o take_v the_o air_n as_o the_o ghostly_a father_n shall_v advise_v for_o experience_n be_v a_o great_a schoolmistress_n in_o all_o thing_n towards_o the_o give_v any_o one_o to_o understand_v what_o may_v be_v fit_a and_o almighty_a god_n be_v serve_v in_o all_o this_o business_n for_o his_o yoke_n be_v sweet_a and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o much_o importance_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o servile_o drag_v as_o one_o may_v say_v but_o that_o it_o be_v carry_v sweet_o on_o towards_o the_o receive_n of_o more_o benefit_n and_o profit_n so_o that_o i_o advise_v again_o and_o again_o for_o though_o i_o say_v it_o often_o it_o will_v do_v no_o hurt_n because_o the_o matter_n import_v so_o much_o that_o no_o body_n be_v to_o afflict_v nor_o oppress_v himself_o either_o through_o dryness_n or_o disquiet_v or_o distraction_n of_o thought_n nor_o yet_o to_o go_v up_o and_o down_o with_o any_o such_o kind_n of_o tribulation_n if_o 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continue_v to_o remain_v in_o a_o very_a inferior_a degree_n in_o this_o way_n nor_o never_o also_o any_o one_o cowardly_a soul_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o have_v the_o safeguard_n of_o humility_n which_o be_v able_a to_o make_v so_o much_o way_n in_o many_o year_n as_o i_o have_v find_v those_o other_o do_v in_o very_a few_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v when_o i_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o work_v in_o this_o kind_n for_o one_o to_o animate_v himself_o towards_o the_o do_n of_o great_a thing_n though_o instant_o he_o may_v perhaps_o not_o have_v force_n where_o with_o to_o perform_v for_o the_o soul_n put_v herself_o to_o make_v a_o flight_n and_o arrive_v to_o be_v in_o a_o high_a place_n though_o yet_o like_o some_o young_a bird_n she_o be_v not_o so_o well_o feather_v yet_o and_o therefore_o as_o be_v weary_a she_o can_v but_o pause_v and_o hover_v in_o former_a time_n i_o often_o remember_v and_o consider_v what_o s._n paul_n affirm_v of_o himself_o namely_o that_o he_o can_v do_v 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and_o i_o believe_v it_o have_v be_v more_o than_o a_o month_n wherein_o i_o do_v almost_o nothing_o else_o but_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o will_v bring_v this_o soul_n back_o to_o himself_o and_o be_v in_o prayer_n one_o day_n i_o see_v a_o devil_n hard_a by_o i_o with_o certain_a paper_n in_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o be_v tear_v and_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a rage_n but_o this_o put_v i_o into_o much_o comfort_n because_o i_o conceive_v thereby_o that_o my_o suit_n be_v grant_v and_o so_o it_o be_v as_o i_o come_v to_o know_v afterward_o for_o the_o party_n have_v be_v at_o confession_n and_o have_v do_v it_o with_o great_a contrition_n and_o he_o return_v in_o so_o very_o good_a earnest_n to_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o hope_v in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n he_o will_v ever_o go_v advance_v in_o his_o service_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_n in_o this_o particular_a of_o procure_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o bring_v soul_n out_o 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i_o see_v i_o be_o able_a to_o beg_v often_o and_o that_o with_o great_a importunity_n and_o though_o i_o carry_v not_o the_o particular_a care_n of_o they_o about_o i_o yet_o i_o think_v they_o come_v before_o i_o of_o themselves_o so_o that_o the_o difference_n between_o these_o two_o way_n of_o ask_v be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o declare_v for_o though_o i_o ask_v in_o one_o of_o these_o kind_n of_o thing_n wherein_o i_o forbear_v not_o to_o urge_v myself_o to_o beg_v they_o of_o our_o lord_n howsoever_o i_o feel_v not_o that_o kind_n of_o fervour_n in_o myself_o which_o i_o do_v in_o those_o other_o and_o though_o they_o chance_v to_o import_v my_o own_o particular_a very_o much_o yet_o be_v it_o in_o effect_n but_o as_o when_o a_o man_n chance_v to_o be_v toung-tyed_n who_o although_o he_o will_v fain_o speak_v yet_o he_o can_v do_v it_o and_o if_o he_o speak_v it_o be_v but_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o he_o see_v it_o can_v be_v understand_v 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himself_o tell_v i_o once_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n many_o of_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o write_v here_o be_v by_o no_o mean_n of_o my_o own_o head_n but_o they_o have_v be_v tell_v i_o by_o that_o heavenly_a master_n of_o i_o and_o because_o in_o all_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o be_o wont_a to_o affirm_v after_o a_o direct_a and_o positive_a manner_n i_o use_v to_o express_v myself_o by_o these_o word_n this_o i_o understand_v or_o else_o our_o lord_n tell_v i_o this_o i_o find_v myself_o with_o a_o very_a great_a scruple_n of_o either_o add_v or_o any_o way_n alter_v so_o much_o as_o any_o one_o syllable_n thereof_o and_o so_o whensoever_o i_o do_v not_o most_o express_o remember_v every_o circumstance_n of_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o be_v to_o be_v relate_v by_o i_o i_o be_o wont_a to_o deliver_v that_o always_o as_o in_o my_o own_o name_n or_o else_o because_o sometime_o they_o proceed_v from_o my_o own_o particular_a dictaman_n i_o use_v not_o to_o call_v any_o thing_n i_o which_o be_v good_a in_o itself_o because_o indeed_o i_o be_o far_o enough_o from_o be_v ignorant_a that_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v in_o i_o be_v good_a but_o i_o affirm_v only_o those_o thing_n as_o in_o my_o own_o name_n and_o they_o be_v deliver_v as_o by_o myself_o which_o do_v not_o come_v into_o my_o understanding_n and_o knowledge_n by_o way_n of_o revelation_n but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o my_o god_n and_o how_o often_o do_v it_o happen_v to_o we_o here_o that_o even_o in_o the_o most_o spiritual_a occasion_n we_o be_v resolve_v many_o
near_o they_o with_o hallow_v candle_n candle_n a_o excellent_a advice_n take_v heed_n of_o this_o great_a danger_n danger_n consider_v this_o point_n much_o and_o often_o often_o note_v this_o good_a conclusion_n upon_o the_o praemise_n praemise_n note_v this_o very_o well_o for_o nothing_o import_v more_o they_o this_o this_o a_o great_a and_o gross_a error_n error_n a_o point_n of_o very_o great_a importance_n importance_n note_n note_n this_o be_v the_o beginning_n of_o many_o great_a blessing_n blessing_n her_o entrance_n into_o the_o receave_n supernatural_a favour_n favour_n it_o work_n not_o indeed_o by_o way_n of_o use_v discourse_n or_o make_v inference_n but_o yet_o it_o work_v by_o way_n of_o contemplation_n and_o admiration_n of_o the_o infinite_a object_n be_v god_n who_o be_v set_v before_o it_o it_o note_n note_n a_o great_a &_o foolish_a error_n error_n behold_v here_o the_o true_a &_o great_a impediment_n impediment_n this_o saint_n be_v admirable_a in_o all_o the_o comparison_n which_o the_o use_n use_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o engine_n with_o certain_a little_a leather_n bucket_n fasten_v to_o the_o side_n of_o a_o very_a great_a wheel_n which_o dra_n be_v up_o very_o much_o water_n with_o great_a ease_n in_o spanish_a it_o be_v call_v a_o noria_n noria_n a_o good_a lesson_n lesson_n a_o consideration_n of_o much_o comfort_n comfort_n a_o hard_a question_n most_o clear_o and_o excellent_o answer_v answer_v mark_v well_o these_o masculine_a and_o massy_a word_n word_n note_n note_n this_o suspending_a of_o the_o thought_n or_o understanding_n of_o which_o the_o saint_n speak_v be_v a_o present_v a_o multitude_n of_o supernatural_a and_o divine_a object_n before_o it_o together_o with_o a_o copious_a infusion_n of_o light_n which_o be_v decern_v by_o it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o intuitive_a way_n at_o once_o without_o discourse_n or_o trouble_v and_o this_o light_n rest_v not_o there_o but_o passes-on_a to_o the_o will_n and_o grow_n to_o be_v as_o so_o much_o fire_n for_o the_o inflame_a it_o in_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o the_o soul_n do_v more_o proper_o suffer_v here_o then_o act_n and_o now_o the_o saint_n give_v great_a warning_n that_o people_n be_v not_o so_o foolish_a as_o to_o offer_v at_o these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o a_o great_a truth_n truth_n a_o dangerous_a &_o proud_n foolish_a error_n error_n observe_v the_o generous_a way_n of_o this_o great_a saint_n saint_n note_v this_o very_a well_o well_o a_o great_a praise_n of_o a_o large_a hart_n hart_n how_o saint_n be_v to_o be_v imitate_v &_o how_o admire_v admire_v note_v this_o well_o well_o a_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n our_o daily_a bread_n bread_n a_o description_n of_o a_o good_a director_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n spirit_n note_n note_n how_o the_o will_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o to_o the_o other_o faculty_n of_o the_o mind_n mind_n the_o blessing_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n note_n note_n how_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o in_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n a_o true_a &_o happy_a comparison_n comparison_n the_o good_a spirit_n very_o easy_o discern_v from_o the_o bad_a bad_a note_v this_o point_n above_o all_o all_o a_o most_o necessary_a document_n document_n a_o great_a blessing_n by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n prayer_n these_o be_v the_o more_o generous_a mind_n mind_n as_o when_o one_o be_v die_v die_v this_o be_v a_o admirable_a state_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o true_a state_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n in_o this_o prayer_n how_o there_o be_v a_o union_n in_o this_o prayer_n &_o how_o there_o be_v none_o none_o the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n the_o difference_n betweme_v elevation_n and_o union_n union_n she_o proceed_v in_o declare_v the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n a_o consideration_n of_o strange_a comfort_n comfort_n this_o be_v strange_a indeed_o indeed_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n prayer_n consider_v this_o very_a well_o well_o take_v heed_n heed_n a_o most_o dangerous_a temptation_n temptation_n consider_v and_o admire_v this_o passage_n passage_n the_o manner_n &_o nature_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o strange_a state_n of_o mind_n which_o perhaps_o be_v describe_v in_o the_o whole_a book_n book_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n this_o saint_n it_o admirable_a in_o her_o comparison_n comparison_n other_o great_a effect_n of_o true_a rapt_n rapt_n her_o great_a zeal_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o king_n king_n she_o allude_v to_o comet_n and_o blaze_a star_n star_n a_o rare_a expression_n expression_n anopinion_n which_o be_v more_o probable_a then_o true_a true_a this_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v a_o foolish_a and_o ill-favoured_a kind_n of_o error_n in_o those_o other_o other_o that_o be_v by_o several_a vision_n vision_n a_o sweet_a and_o just_a complaint_n and_o worthy_a of_o the_o saint_n who_o make_v it_o it_o by_o vision_n vision_n believe_v and_o consider_v this_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o doubt_n which_o can_v easy_o be_v solue_v solue_v she_o grow_n now_o to_o make_v serious_a enquiry_n after_o a_o good_a director_n director_n the_o only_a excellent_a course_n course_n this_o holy_a man_n enter_v often_o into_o the_o story_n of_o our_o saint_n saint_n this_o be_v no_o improbable_a opinion_n though_o it_o be_v no_o true_a one_o one_o so_o good_a a_o begin_n be_v almost_o a_o kind_n of_o perfect_v the_o work_n work_n the_o saint_n begann_v here_o to_o be_v happy_a happy_a this_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n &_o likely_a to_o work_n wonder_v upon_o a_o soul_n soul_n he_o lose_v nothing_o by_o leave_v to_o be_v a_o duke_n for_o god_n sake_n sake_n this_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o a_o wise_a man_n man_n a_o little_a of_o this_o go_v far_o far_o so_o true_a it_o be_v that_o god_n be_v god_n god_n the_o mighty_a force_n and_o power_n of_o any_o one_o supernatural_a word_n word_n the_o infinite_a difference_n betweme_v supernatural_a word_n of_o god_n &_o all_o other_o other_o a_o strange_a encounter_n encounter_n great_a power_n of_o our_o lord_n lord_n how_o quick_o she_o get_v courage_n against_o the_o devil_n devil_n a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n this_o be_v a_o very_a ill_a advice_n indeed_o indeed_o the_o incredible_a dear_a sweetness_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n to_o a_o soul_n soul_n observe_v this_o well_o well_o this_o saint_n you_o see_v be_v certain_o no_o protestant_n protestant_n the_o masque_n of_o pride_n pride_n a_o admirable_a example_n of_o penance_n penance_n humane_a frailty_n and_o celestial_a glory_n be_v not_o compatible_a compatible_a imaginary_a vision_n represent_v to_o &_o by_o the_o sense_n be_v of_o the_o low_a rank_n &_o most_o subject_a to_o danger_n danger_n the_o great_a effect_n of_o a_o admirable_a and_o most_o sublime_a vision_n vision_n the_o difference_n be_v easy_o find_v both_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o false_a and_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o fancy_n fancy_n a_o plain_a demonstration_n demonstration_n in_o order_n to_o the_o guide_v of_o other_o a_o director_n may_v easy_o have_v too_o mean_a a_o optnion_n of_o himself_o himself_o this_o saint_n be_v huge_o vex_v by_o the_o insatisfaction_n which_o she_o receive_v from_o many_o spiritual_a man_n man_n this_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o be_v know_v know_v this_o be_v a_o true_a fortiter_fw-la sed_fw-la suaviter_fw-la suaviter_fw-la this_o saint_n be_v most_o strange_o familiar_o and_o supernatural_o visit_v by_o our_o b_o lord_n lord_n a_o strange_a task_n which_o be_v put_v even_o by_o holy_a man_n upon_o this_o saint_n saint_n the_o more_o she_o be_v discountenance_v even_o by_o good_a man_n so_o much_o the_o more_o high_o be_v she_o favour_v by_o our_o lord_n lord_n a_o rare_a comparison_n comparison_n still_o more_o &_o more_o excellent_a comparison_n comparison_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n a_o strange_a mixture_n of_o affection_n but_o such_o as_o god_n know_v how_o to_o give_v give_v this_o grief_n be_v after_o the_o rate_n of_o the_o love_n love_n a_o very_a safe_a and_o wise_a way_n of_o proceed_v proceed_v this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n here_o follow_v a_o whole_a world_n of_o sad_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n trouble_n the_o difference_n betweme_v divine_a and_o diabolical_a grief_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o way_n &_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a desolation_n desolation_n a_o pretty_a humour_n humour_n a_o happy_a state_n state_n she_o make_v along_o discourse_n of_o the_o diabolical_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n to_o which_o she_o be_v subject_a subject_a the_o excellency_n of_o holy_a water_n water_n a_o great_a and_o just_a consolation_n consolation_n a_o question_n worthy_a of_o he_o that_o ask_v it_o it_o this_o be_v a_o very_a great_a truth_n but_o the_o accent_n must_v be_v put_v upon_o the_o word_n indeed_o indeed_o and_o though_o she_o shall_v have_v continue_v to_o ask_v it_o i_o dare_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v not_o have_v grant_v it_o it_o a_o must_v certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o wise_a &_o solid_a truth_n truth_n exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o love_n of_o honour_n agree_v not_o well_o together_o together_o this_o be_v not_o to_o be_v literal_o understand_v for_o the_o devil_n can_v prepare_v no_o place_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o hell_n but_o by_o the_o decree_n of_o almighty_a god_n upon_o the_o particular_a judgement_n give_v at_o the_o death_n of_o the_o party_n party_n the_o sin_n of_o ingratitude_n discorrespondence_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o creature_n which_o she_o do_v commit_v and_o the_o great_a and_o mortal_a sin_n which_o she_o will_v most_o certain_o have_v commit_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v and_o withhold_v she_o she_o hell_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o in_o spirit_n after_o a_o most_o subtle_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v show_v to_o she_o and_o describe_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o the_o imagination_n of_o the_o party_n and_o they_o chief_o serve_v as_o testimony_n &_o sign_n of_o those_o interior_a grace_n &_o virtue_n which_o use_v to_o be_v imprint_v upon_o soul_n at_o those_o very_a time_n by_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n lord_n she_o mean_v herself_o herself_o this_o saint_n be_v a_o excellent_a person_n to_o make_v a_o friend_n of_o of_o a_o very_a strange_a demonstration_n of_o a_o most_o civil_a noble_a and_o friendly_a hart_n hart_n our_o bless_a lord_n be_v still_o as_o good_a as_o his_o word_n word_n the_o great_a charity_n &_o humility_n of_o the_o saint_n saint_n how_o devout_a this_o dear_a saint_n be_v be_v they_o be_v very_o noble_a though_o they_o be_v poor_a poor_a the_o devil_n be_v still_o himself_o himself_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o world_n as_o wherein_o thing_n will_v ever_o go_v thus_o thus_o a_o true_a answer_n to_o all_o the_o devil_n objection_n objection_n note_v the_o description_n which_o the_o saint_n make_v here_o of_o her_o religious_a religious_a this_o fast_a of_o the_o order_n be_v not_o so_o strict_a and_o rigorous_a as_o that_o of_o the_o church_n but_o be_v rather_o a_o forbearance_n of_o half_a the_o meal_n than_o a_o fast_a fast_a this_o point_n of_o have_v so_o very_a few_o in_o a_o monastery_n be_v partly_o mean_v for_o they_o who_o be_v to_o live_v in_o any_o place_n on_o alm_n and_o partly_o because_o the_o saint_n have_v see_v some_o disorder_n by_o have_v too_o many_o religious_a in_o other_o house_n and_o yet_o the_o saint_n herself_o come_v afterward_o to_o admit_v of_o twenty_o in_o stead_n of_o twelue_v and_o will_v perhaps_o have_v admit_v more_o if_o she_o have_v find_v reason_n for_o it_o it_o she_o inveigh_v with_o much_o reason_n against_o vain_a compliment_n and_o especial_o among_o religious_a people_n people_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o useful_a document_n document_n a_o true_a noble_a &_o most_o generous_a hart_n hart_n great_a effect_n of_o a_o vision_n
very_o little_a which_o i_o can_v do_v but_o yet_o as_o soon_o as_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v understand_v this_o deceit_n and_o trick_n of_o the_o devil_n if_o he_o object_v to_o i_o my_o loss_n of_o health_n i_o tell_v he_o it_o import_v little_a that_o i_o must_v die_v if_o he_o tempt_v i_o with_o love_n of_o rest_n and_o ease_n i_o tell_v he_o that_o it_o be_v not_o ease_v which_o i_o need_v now_o but_o the_o sufferance_n of_o a_o cross_n and_o so_o also_o in_o other_o thing_n for_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o in_o very_a many_o it_o be_v either_o a_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n or_o my_o own_o lazine_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n i_o be_v sickly_a enough_o but_o howsoever_o i_o now_o enjoy_v much_o better_a health_n since_o i_o be_o not_o so_o very_o curious_a and_o dainty_a as_o i_o be_v than_o i_o do_v before_o and_o it_o be_v therefore_o of_o great_a importance_n for_o they_o who_o begin_v to_o hold_v mental_a prayer_n that_o they_o do_v not_o subtilise_v too_o much_o with_o their_o thought_n and_o let_v they_o believe_v i_o herein_o for_o i_o know_v it_o by_o experience_n and_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v of_o good_a use_n for_o i_o to_o recount_v my_o fault_n that_o so_o other_o may_v take_v warning_n by_o i_o there_o be_v also_o another_o temptation_n and_o it_o be_v very_o usual_a to_o desire_v forsooth_o that_o every_o body_n may_v grow_v to_o be_v very_o spiritual_a when_o once_o themselves_o begin_v to_o taste_v of_o this_o great_a quiet_a &_o how_o much_o be_v to_o be_v gain_v by_o this_o mean_n it_o be_v not_o a_o ill_a thing_n to_o desire_v it_o but_o to_o procure_v it_o may_v peradventure_o not_o be_v good_a unless_o much_o discretion_n and_o as_o it_o be_v dissimulation_n be_v use_v in_o do_v it_o so_o as_o that_o they_o seem_v not_o to_o take_v upon_o they_o to_o teach_v for_o such_o as_o will_v procure_v to_o do_v good_a upon_o their_o neighbour_n in_o such_o case_n as_o this_o have_v need_n have_v their_o own_o virtue_n very_o strong_a lest_o else_o they_o breed_v temptation_n for_o other_o it_o happen_v just_a thus_o to_o i_o and_o therefore_o i_o understand_v it_o that_o when_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o procure_v that_o other_o may_v use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o on_o the_o one_o side_n they_o hear_v i_o speak_v of_o high_a matter_n and_o of_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o it_o bring_v to_o use_v that_o exercise_n and_o when_o they_o see_v on_o the_o other_o how_o very_o poor_a i_o be_v in_o point_n of_o virtue_n i_o occasion_v they_o to_o be_v tempt_v and_o disorder_v and_o they_o be_v so_o with_o reason_n enough_o and_o themselves_o tell_v i_o as_o much_o afterward_o for_o they_o know_v not_o how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o one_o of_o those_o thing_n to_o be_v compatible_a with_o the_o other_o and_o it_o cause_v they_o not_o to_o think_v that_o to_o be_v ill_a which_o yet_o indeed_o be_v so_o because_o forsooth_o they_o see_v i_o do_v it_o sometime_o when_o they_o hold_v a_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o and_o this_o do_v the_o devil_n effect_n who_o it_o seem_v can_v serve_v his_o turn_n even_o of_o the_o virtue_n which_o we_o have_v that_o so_o he_o may_v the_o better_a grow_v to_o authorise_v the_o mischief_n which_o he_o desire_v to_o do_v we_o and_o how_o little_a soever_o that_o be_v in_o itself_o yet_o when_o that_o be_v do_v in_o a_o community_n he_o gain_v very_o much_o by_o the_o bargain_n and_o how_o much_o more_o when_o that_o which_o i_o do_v ill_a be_v very_o ill_o and_o so_o in_o many_o year_n there_o be_v only_o three_o person_n who_o take_v benefit_n by_o what_o i_o tell_v they_o and_o when_o our_o lord_n be_v already_o please_v to_o bestow_v more_o strength_n of_o virtue_n upon_o i_o they_o be_v many_o who_o profit_v by_o i_o even_o in_o two_o or_o three_o year_n as_o i_o will_v show_v afterward_o beside_o there_o be_v this_o other_o great_a inconvenience_n that_o the_o soul_n lose_v her_o progress_n in_o virtue_n for_o the_o chief_n thing_n which_o she_o be_v to_o procure_v at_o first_o be_v only_o to_o take_v care_n of_o herself_o alone_o and_o to_o make_v account_n that_o there_o be_v not_o in_o the_o whole_a world_n any_o one_o thing_n but_o god_n and_o she._n and_o this_o be_v a_o certain_a point_n which_o import_v the_o same_o soul_n very_o much_o there_o be_v also_o yet_o another_o temptation_n and_o all_o such_o as_o this_o show_v themselves_o ever_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o zeal_n of_o virtue_n and_o they_o be_v fit_a to_o be_v understand_v and_o that_o we_o walk_v with_o much_o circumspection_n and_o this_o be_v a_o trouble_n which_o man_n receive_v from_o the_o defect_n and_o fault_n which_o they_o discern_v in_o other_o for_o the_o devil_n procure_v to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o this_o grief_n be_v entertain_v by_o we_o but_o only_o because_o we_o will_v nor_o have_v they_o offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o that_o forsooth_o we_o be_v trouble_v because_o his_o honour_n be_v interest_v thereby_o and_o than_o it_o come_v present_o in_o that_o we_o will_v fain_o procure_v to_o redress_v it_o and_o this_o care_n disquiet_v we_o so_o much_o that_o it_o hinder_v our_o prayer_n yea_o and_o the_o great_a mischief_n of_o all_o be_v that_o we_o think_v that_o this_o be_v virtue_n and_o perfection_n and_o great_a zeal_n of_o god_n service_n i_o speak_v not_o of_o those_o affliction_n which_o public_a sin_n must_v give_v when_o they_o be_v usual_o commit_v by_o a_o community_n or_o when_o they_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o prejudice_n to_o the_o church_n as_o these_o heresy_n do_v whereby_o we_o find_v so_o many_o soul_n to_o be_v lose_v for_o this_o be_v a_o very_a good_a affliction_n and_o trouble_v and_o in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v so_o good_a it_o disorder_v not_o and_o disturb_v not_o he_o who_o have_v it_o but_o well_o the_o secure_a way_n for_o that_o soul_n which_o desire_v to_o give_v itself_o to_o prayer_n be_v to_o seek_v to_o forget_v both_o all_o thing_n and_o all_o person_n and_o to_o attend_v to_o keep_v all_o reckon_n straight_o with_o herself_o and_o so_o to_o give_v contentment_n to_o almighty_a god_n now_o this_o be_v both_o very_a convenient_a and_o important_a and_o if_o i_o shall_v stand_v to_o tell_v you_o what_o error_n i_o have_v see_v fallout_a to_o be_v commit_v upon_o the_o confidence_n which_o man_n have_v put_v in_o their_o good_a intention_n i_o shall_v never_o make_v a_o end_n let_v we_o therefore_o always_o procure_v to_o consider_v the_o virtue_n and_o good_a work_n which_o we_o shall_v discern_v in_o other_o and_o to_o shut_v our_o eye_n from_o see_v their_o defect_n by_o the_o consideration_n of_o our_o own_o great_a sin_n now_o this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o work_v wherein_o though_o we_o arrive_v not_o instant_o to_o do_v it_o with_o perfection_n yet_o we_o come_v thereby_o to_o gain_v a_o great_a virtue_n which_o be_v to_o hold_v every_o body_n better_o than_o ourselves_o and_o we_o begin_v to_o get_v it_o through_o the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n whereof_o we_o have_v need_n in_o all_o thing_n for_o whensoever_o that_o be_v want_v to_o we_o all_o other_o diligence_n serve_v to_o little_a purpose_n and_o we_o must_v therefore_o humble_o pray_v he_o to_o bestow_v this_o grace_n upon_o we_o wherein_o certain_o he_o will_v not_o be_v want_v if_o we_o be_v as_o careful_a as_o we_o ought_v let_v they_o also_o consider_v well_o of_o this_o advice_n who_o use_v to_o discourse_n much_o with_o the_o understanding_n and_o have_v power_n to_o draw_v many_o consideration_n and_o conceit_n out_o of_o some_o one_o for_o as_o for_o they_o who_o be_v not_o able_a to_o work_v with_o this_o faculty_n as_o i_o can_v not_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n of_o give_v they_o this_o advice_n but_o only_o that_o they_o will_v be_v content_a to_o have_v patience_n till_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o help_v they_o to_o matter_n upon_o which_o to_o work_v and_o light_n where_o with_o to_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o since_o they_o be_v able_a to_o perform_v so_o little_a for_o themselves_o as_o that_o their_o understanding_n part_n do_v rather_o give_v they_o trouble_v than_o help_n but_o return_v now_o to_o such_o other_o as_o be_v able_a to_o serve_v themselves_o of_o discourse_n they_o must_v take_v care_n that_o their_o whole_a time_n be_v not_o spend_v in_o that_o for_o howsoever_o it_o be_v very_o meritorious_a yet_o conconsider_v how_o savoury_a a_o thing_n they_o conceive_v that_o mental_a prayer_n shall_v be_v they_o fear_v that_o they_o shall_v never_o live_v to_o see_v sunday_n nor_o any_o season_n wherein_o they_o be_v not_o to_o labour_v and_o drudge_n and_o therefore_o they_o present_o think_v that_o
and_o so_o make_v those_o wretch_n tremble_v for_o already_o we_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o lord_n permit_v he_o what_o then_o may_v be_v the_o ground_n of_o all_o these_o disorder_n it_o be_v certain_o that_o i_o be_o more_o afraid_a of_o they_o who_o be_v so_o fright_v by_o the_o devil_n then_o of_o the_o devil_n himself_o for_o he_o be_v utter_o unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v whereas_o these_o other_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v ghostly_a father_n may_v put_v soul_n to_o much_o disquiet_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v pass_v some_o year_n through_o so_o great_a trouble_n that_o now_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o consider_v how_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o in_o so_o good_a earnest_n amen_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v her_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o beleif_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o i_o esteem_v the_o courage_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o against_o all_o the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o do_v i_o since_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o go_v cowardly_o on_o and_o to_o be_v fearful_a indeed_o of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o to_o offend_v the_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v a_o extreme_a inconvenience_n for_o since_o we_o have_v a_o king_n who_o be_v omnipotent_a and_o so_o great_a a_o lord_n that_o he_o can_v do_v what_o he_o list_n and_o who_o bring_v all_o thing_n into_o subjection_n under_o himself_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v and_o therefore_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o have_v no_o cause_n to_o doubt_v so_o that_o we_o walk_v sincere_o and_o with_o purity_n of_o conscience_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n i_o shall_v be_v glad_a to_o have_v all_o the_o fear_n in_o the_o world_n to_o offend_v he_o in_o any_o one_o instant_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n who_o be_v able_a in_o the_o very_a selfsame_a instant_n to_o destroy_v and_o annihilate_v we_o all_o as_o long_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v with_o we_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n who_o can_v stand_v against_o we_o without_o have_v his_o head_n break_v for_o his_o pain_n you_o will_v peradventure_o say_v that_o this_o be_v very_o true_a but_o yet_o now_o on_o the_o other_o side_n where_o shall_v we_o find_v that_o soul_n which_o stand_v so_o straight_o as_o that_o she_o may_v be_v whole_o please_v to_o he_o and_o because_o she_o be_v not_o so_o she_o be_v in_o fear_n i_o answer_v that_o i_o be_o sure_a that_o that_o pure_a and_o innocent_a soul_n be_v none_o of_o i_o which_o indeed_o be_v very_o wretched_a and_o unprofitable_a and_o surcharge_v even_o with_o a_o thousand_o misery_n but_o yet_o still_o we_o have_v this_o comfort_n that_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o proceed_v with_o such_o rigour_n as_o man_n do_v for_o he_o know_v and_o consider_v our_o frailty_n and_o the_o soul_n have_v way_n of_o understanding_n and_o find_v in_o itself_o by_o great_a conjecture_n whether_o real_o she_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o no_o for_o in_o such_o as_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o state_n our_o love_n to_o he_o be_v not_o now_o a_o kind_n of_o dissemble_a or_o disguise_v love_n as_o it_o use_v sometime_o to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n but_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuosity_n of_o desire_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n as_o i_o shall_v afterward_o declare_v or_o rather_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o all_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o afflict_v all_o thing_n to_o weary_a &_o tire_v and_o all_o thing_n do_v even_o torment_v she_o unless_o it_o be_v only_a god_n or_o for_o god_n there_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o any_o repose_n which_o do_v not_o displease_v she_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o absent_a from_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o so_o it_o falls-out_a to_o be_v very_o evident_a that_o thing_n pass_v not_o here_o in_o a_o dissemble_a way_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o in_o former_a time_n that_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o great_a tribulation_n and_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o many_o detraction_n by_o occasion_n of_o a_o certain_a business_n whereof_o i_o may_v have_v cause_n to_o speak_v afterward_o from_o all_o that_o house_n where_o i_o live_v yea_o and_o from_o my_o order_n and_o i_o be_v afflict_v upon_o many_o accident_n which_o occur_v then_o at_o which_o time_n it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o utter_v these_o express_a word_n to_o i_o of_o what_o be_v thou_o afraid_a do_v thou_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o omnipotent_a i_o will_v accomplish_v all_o that_o which_o i_o have_v promise_v thou_o and_o indeed_o he_o accomplish_v it_o afterward_o very_o well_o but_o even_o instant_o there_o remain_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o strength_n in_o i_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v present_o have_v put_v myself_o to_o adventure_v upon_o other_o thing_n though_o they_o shall_v cost_v i_o much_o more_o trouble_n for_o the_o do_v he_o service_n and_o can_v have_v suffer_v also_o much_o more_o for_o he_o and_o this_o very_a self_n same_o thing_n have_v happen_v to_o i_o so_o often_o that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o count_v the_o time_n and_o he_o have_v make_v i_o and_o make_v i_o still_o such_o reprehension_n by_o occasion_n of_o those_o imperfection_n which_o i_o commit_v sometime_o that_o they_o be_v able_a even_o as_o it_o be_v to_o annihilate_v the_o soul_n at_o least_o they_o bring_v so_o much_o in_o their_o company_n as_o that_o she_o be_v mend_v by_o they_o for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o i_o have_v say_v do_v not_o only_o give_v we_o the_o counsel_n but_o the_o remedy_n at_o other_o time_n he_o bring_v back_o to_o i_o the_o memory_n of_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a life_n and_o this_o he_o most_o ordinary_o use_v to_o do_v whensoever_o he_o intend_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o any_o extraordinary_a favour_n and_o he_o do_v it_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n discern_v herself_o as_o if_o she_o be_v real_o plant_v at_o the_o very_a day_n of_o the_o last_o universal_a judgement_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o perspicuity_n and_o claritie_n that_o she_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o at_o other_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o inform_v i_o of_o certain_a danger_n concern_v both_o myself_o and_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o do_v not_o happen_v till_o three_o or_o four_o year_n after_o but_o they_o all_o be_v ever_o fulfil_v and_o some_o of_o they_o may_v also_o be_v name_v if_o there_o be_v cause_n so_o that_o there_o be_v so_o many_o particular_n whereby_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v that_o these_o thing_n be_v of_o almighty_a god_n as_o that_o in_o my_o opinion_n they_o can_v but_o be_v know_v and_o acknowledge_v the_o most_o secure_a proceed_n consist_v in_o that_o such_o a_o person_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o impart_v her_o whole_a soul_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n and_o that_o she_o do_v entire_o obey_v he_o at_o least_o this_o be_v the_o course_n which_o i_o take_v and_o without_o this_o i_o can_v have_v no_o rest_n nor_o be_v it_o indeed_o fit_a that_o we_o woman_n shall_v have_v any_o since_o we_o have_v no_o learning_n and_o there_o can_v be_v no_o hurt_n at_o all_o in_o this_o but_o many_o advantage_n and_o benefit_n as_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v tell_v i_o many_o time_n i_o say_v many_o time_n i_o have_v once_o a_o ghostly_a father_n who_o mortify_v i_o very_o much_o and_o sometime_o he_o do_v even_o afflict_v i_o and_o bring_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n and_o disquiet_v i_o in_o extraordinary_a manner_n and_o yet_o it_o be_v he_o who_o in_o my_o opinion_n do_v i_o the_o most_o good_a of_o they_o all_o and_o though_o i_o love_v he_o very_o much_o yet_o i_o have_v some_o temptation_n to_o leave_v he_o for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v much_o prejudice_v by_o those_o inconvenience_n which_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o concern_v my_o prayer_n but_o yet_o ever_o when_o i_o be_v determine_v to_o do_v this_o i_o instant_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v to_o forbear_v it_o and_o i_o receive_v such_o a_o reprehension_n from_o our_o lord_n as_o defeat_v and_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v i_o more_o than_o all_o that_o which_o my_o ghostly_a father_n can_v
it_o say_v he_o this_o can_v grow_v but_o from_o one_o of_o these_o two_o occasion_n namely_o that_o either_o it_o be_v because_o they_o will_v murmur_v against_o you_o orel_n for_o that_o they_o will_v praise_v and_o magnifye_v i_o mean_v that_o they_o who_o shall_v believe_v it_o will_v praise_v he_o and_o they_o who_o shall_v not_o believe_v it_o will_v condemn_v i_o though_o yet_o without_o any_o fault_n at_o all_o of_o i_o but_o he_o say_v that_o both_o those_o thing_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v of_o advantage_n to_o i_o and_o that_o therefore_o i_o must_v no_o long_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o this_o quiet_v i_o very_o much_o then_o and_o it_o also_o comfort_v i_o now_o whensoever_o i_o call_v it_o to_o mind_n this_o temptation_n come_v on_o so_o far_o that_o it_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n to_o quit_v this_o place_n and_o to_o carry_v my_o fortune_n with_o i_o to_o another_o monastery_n which_o be_v very_o much_o more_o enclose_v and_o shut_v up_o then_o that_o wherein_o i_o be_v for_o the_o present_a and_o i_o like_v it_o also_o the_o rather_o for_o that_o i_o have_v hear_v it_o extreme_o praise_v many_o way_n and_o beside_o it_o be_v a_o house_n of_o my_o own_o order_n yea_o and_o also_o very_o far_o off_o from_o my_o former_a abode_n and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o will_v have_v comfort_v i_o much_o to_o remain_v where_o i_o be_v utter_o unknown_a but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n will_v never_o permit_v it_o these_o fear_n do_v much_o deprive_v i_o of_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o that_o it_o be_v no_o good_a humility_n since_o it_o give_v i_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o disquiet_n and_o our_o lord_n upon_o that_o occasion_n teach_v i_o this_o truth_n that_o if_o indeed_o indeed_o i_o be_v resolve_v and_o assure_v that_o nothing_o at_o all_o of_o i_o be_v good_a but_o that_o it_o be_v all_o of_o god_n it_o will_v follow_v that_o just_a so_o as_o i_o will_v not_o be_v sorry_a to_o hear_v other_o person_n praise_v but_o rather_o will_v be_v great_o comfort_v and_o joy_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v show_v himself_o in_o they_o so_o neither_o will_v i_o be_v sorry_a that_o his_o work_n may_v be_v also_o see_v in_o i_o i_o fall_v also_o upon_o another_o extreme_a and_o it_o be_v to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o i_o make_v particular_a prayer_n to_o this_o purpose_n that_o when_o by_o accident_n any_o person_n shall_v enter_v into_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v be_v please_v to_o declare_v my_o sin_n to_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o man_n may_v see_v how_o absolute_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o it_o please_v our_o b._n lord_n to_o do_v i_o favour_n and_o this_o do_v i_o ever_o much_o desire_n though_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v command_v i_o it_o not_o to_o ask_v it_o but_o hitherto_o till_o very_o late_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o see_v any_o person_n who_o think_v extraordinary_o well_o of_o i_o i_o take_v the_o best_a mean_n i_o can_v find_v by_o some_o devise_n or_o other_o to_o tell_v he_o my_o sin_n and_o thus_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o find_v ease_n but_o yet_o hereby_o they_o have_v put_v i_o into_o a_o kind_n of_o scruple_n that_o this_o proceed_v not_o in_o i_o from_o humility_n and_o that_o it_o rather_o grow_v from_o a_o temptation_n in_o regard_n that_o many_o come_v to_o i_o and_o i_o seem_v to_o have_v cozen_v they_o all_o but_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o they_o be_v indeed_o deceive_v if_o they_o think_v that_o there_o be_v any_o goodness_n in_o i_o yet_o have_v i_o no_o desire_n at_o all_o to_o deceive_v they_o nor_o do_v i_o ever_o pretend_v any_o such_o thing_n but_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v have_v perhaps_o permit_v it_o and_o so_o for_o the_o selfsame_a reason_n i_o will_v never_o have_v impart_v any_o private_a accident_n of_o i_o which_o be_v no_o sin_n even_o to_o my_o very_a ghostly_a father_n themselves_o unless_o i_o have_v find_v it_o to_o be_v whole_o necessary_a for_o i_o shall_v otherwise_o have_v have_v much_o scruple_n to_o do_v it_o but_o now_o i_o see_v very_o well_o that_o all_o these_o little_a truth_n fear_n and_o trouble_n &_o superfluity_n of_o ill-grounded_a humility_n do_v savour_n very_o sufficient_o of_o imperfection_n and_o proceed_v from_o the_o immortification_n of_o the_o soul_n for_o to_o a_o soul_n which_o be_v well_o resign_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o do_v not_o import_v she_o a_o iott_n more_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v well_o of_o she_o then_o ill_o if_o once_o she_o understand_v well_o and_o home_n forasmuch_o as_o god_n will_v give_v she_o that_o grace_n that_o she_o have_v nothing_o at_o all_o of_o herself_o but_o let_v she_o confide_v in_o he_o who_o impart_v it_o and_o she_o shall_v know_v in_o time_n why_o he_o discover_v it_o and_o in_o the_o mean_a while_n let_v she_o prepare_v herself_o for_o persecution_n for_o it_o will_v most_o certain_o arrive_v in_o such_o a_o age_n as_o this_o upon_o any_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o know_v that_o he_o do_v she_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o for_o upon_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o this_o a_o thousand_o watchful_a eye_n will_v be_v cast_v whereas_o there_o will_v not_o be_v one_o upon_o a_o whole_a thousand_o of_o such_o other_o soul_n as_o be_v of_o a_o contrary_a make_n and_o there_o be_v real_o much_o cause_n to_o fear_v this_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v my_o fear_n that_o the_o other_o be_v truth_n not_o humility_n but_o pusillanimity_n for_o a_o soul_n which_o almighty_a god_n permit_v to_o be_v expose_v thus_o to_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o world_n may_v expect_v to_o be_v a_o martyr_n of_o the_o same_o world_n for_o if_o she_o will_v not_o die_v to_o it_o she_o shall_v die_v by_o it_o for_o my_o part_n i_o real_o see_v nothing_o in_o this_o thing_n call_v world_n which_o seem_v good_a to_o i_o except_o only_o that_o it_o give_v not_o way_n that_o worthy_a and_o good_a people_n shall_v be_v permit_v to_o do_v ill_a without_o be_v murmur_v at_o for_o their_o labour_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n they_o grow_v to_o perfect_v themselves_o but_o there_o be_v need_n of_o more_o fortitude_n and_o courage_n for_o a_o man_n who_o be_v yet_o imperfect_a to_o walke-on_a towards_o a_o way_n of_o perfection_n then_o even_o to_o be_v instant_o make_v a_o martyr_n for_o perfection_n be_v not_o so_o quick_o get_v unless_o it_o be_v by_o some_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v vouchsafe_v that_o favour_n by_o way_n of_o a_o particular_a privilege_n but_o the_o world_n discern_v once_o that_o a_o man_n begin_v to_o aspire_v to_o do_v well_o will_v needs_o account_v he_o perfect_a at_o a_o instant_n and_o then_o will_v it_o present_o see_v any_o fault_n in_o he_o if_o he_o have_v any_o though_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o league_n off_o yea_o and_o perhaps_o that_o which_o they_o hold_v to_o be_v a_o fault_n in_o he_o shall_v indeed_o be_v a_o virtue_n and_o the_o other_o who_o condemn_v he_o and_o be_v wont_a peradventure_o to_o do_v the_o selfsame_a thing_n by_o a_o impulse_n of_o vice_n will_v judge_v ill_a of_o it_o in_o another_o so_o that_o according_a to_o his_o dictamen_fw-la that_o other_o man_n shall_v neither_o eat_v nor_o sleep_n nor_o even_o as_o it_o be_v draw_v his_o breath_n and_o the_o more_o also_o they_o esteem_v such_o person_n the_o more_o apt_a be_v they_o to_o forget_v that_o how_o perfect_a soever_o their_o soul_n be_v and_o how_o absolute_o soever_o they_o tread_v the_o whole_a world_n under_o their_o foot_n yet_o still_o they_o be_v in_o the_o body_n and_o live_v upon_o earth_n and_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o misery_n of_o their_o condition_n and_o therefore_o still_o i_o say_v that_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o courage_n because_o such_o man_n have_v a_o mind_n that_o the_o poor_a soul_n which_o have_v not_o yet_o begin_v to_o walk_v shall_v already_o fly_v she_o have_v not_o yet_o overcome_v and_o mortify_v her_o passion_n and_o yet_o these_o man_n will_v needs_o expect_v that_o she_o shall_v remain_v as_o entire_a and_o firm_a as_o they_o have_v read_v of_o saint_n themselves_o after_o they_o be_v confirm_v in_o grace_n the_o particular_n which_o occur_v in_o this_o kind_n be_v to_o give_v a_o man_n cause_n to_o wonder_n and_o withal_o even_o to_o afflict_v we_o to_o the_o hart_n to_o see_v so_o many_o soul_n turn_v back_o again_o which_o know_v not_o poor_a creature_n as_o they_o be_v what_o shift_n to_o make_v for_o themselves_o and_o so_o do_v i_o believe_v that_o i_o have_v also_o do_v if_o our_o
that_o time_n to_o give_v they_o the_o habit._n but_o now_o since_o the_o house_n where_o the_o monastery_n fall_v out_o to_o be_v make_v be_v that_o wherein_o my_o brother-in-law_n have_v dwell_v before_o for_o he_o as_o i_o say_v have_v buy_v it_o the_o better_a to_o disguise_v this_o business_n i_o have_v leave_v to_o stay_v there_o and_o i_o do_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o by_o the_o opinion_n of_o learned_a man_n that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v sure_a not_o to_o depart_v one_o hair_n breadth_n from_o my_o obedience_n and_o when_o they_o see_v that_o the_o thing_n be_v to_o be_v so_o advantageous_a to_o the_o whole_a order_n in_o many_o respect_n they_o tell_v i_o i_o may_v do_v as_o i_o do_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v fit_a to_o proceed_v with_o great_a reservation_n and_o secrecy_n and_o to_o take_v care_n that_o my_o superior_n may_v not_o know_v what_o i_o be_v do_v for_o how_o little_a soever_o the_o imperfection_n have_v be_v which_o i_o must_v have_v commit_v therein_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o will_v have_v given-ove_a the_o erect_n i_o say_v not_o of_o one_o monastery_n but_o of_o a_o thousand_o rather_o than_o have_v fall_v into_o it_o and_o this_o be_v certain_a and_o though_o i_o desire_v to_o sever_v myself_o whole_o from_o the_o world_n that_o so_o i_o may_v follow_v my_o profession_n and_o call_v with_o more_o perfection_n and_o clausure_n i_o desire_v it_o yet_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o whensoever_o i_o shall_v come_v to_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v to_o be_v for_o the_o great_a service_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o give_v it_o over_o i_o will_v instant_o have_v be_v sure_a to_o do_v it_o with_o entire_a peace_n and_o repose_v but_o the_o while_n it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o be_v even_o in_o glory_n for_o i_o to_o see_v the_o b._n sacrament_n expose_v and_o that_o four_o poor_a poor_a orphan_n be_v provide_v for_o since_o they_o be_v take_v without_o dowry_n and_o they_o be_v very_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o be_v much_o endeavour_v at_o the_o begin_n that_o such_o person_n shall_v enter_v and_o be_v receive_v as_o may_v lay_v a_o good_a foundation_n by_o their_o example_n for_o the_o better_a effect_v the_o intention_n and_o design_n which_o we_o have_v to_o carry_v all_o thing_n on_o with_o much_o perfection_n and_o prayer_n and_o that_o such_o a_o work_n in_o fine_a may_v be_v finish_v as_o be_v to_o prove_v for_o the_o service_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o in_o honour_n of_o the_o habit_n of_o his_o glorious_a mother_n for_o upon_o this_o do_v all_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o care_n work_n and_o beat_v and_o it_o give_v i_o also_o great_a comfort_n to_o have_v do_v express_o that_o which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o command_v i_o and_o that_o there_o may_v be_v one_o church_n more_o and_o the_o same_o be_v dedicate_v under_o the_o name_n of_o my_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n then_o there_o be_v before_o not_o yet_o that_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n in_o it_o at_o all_o for_o i_o never_o have_v any_o such_o conceit_n neither_o have_v i_o yet_o but_o i_o ever_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v our_o bless_a lord_n who_o do_v it_o and_o that_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v my_o part_n be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a imperfection_n that_o i_o rather_o plain_o see_v that_o there_o be_v much_o more_o for_o which_o to_o blame_v i_o then_o to_o thank_v i_o but_o yet_o i_o must_v confess_v that_o it_o go_v with_o i_o for_o a_o great_a regalo_n to_o see_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o use_v i_o as_o a_o instrument_n i_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a as_o i_o be_o for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n as_o this_o so_o that_o in_o fine_a i_o remain_v with_o much_o satisfaction_n and_o gust_n in_o this_o behalf_n and_o as_o it_o be_v even_o out_o of_o myself_o in_o great_a depth_n of_o prayer_n but_o now_o upon_o the_o end_n of_o all_o this_o which_o may_v last_o about_o some_o three_o or_o four_o hour_n the_o devil_n procure_v to_o give_v i_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o spiritual_a battle_n as_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v he_o himself_o represent_v to_o i_o a_o doubt_n whether_o that_o which_o i_o have_v do_v have_v be_v well_o do_v whether_o i_o have_v not_o go_v against_o my_o obligation_n of_o obedience_n by_o procure_v to_o effect_v certain_a thing_n without_o have_v be_v direct_v therein_o by_o my_o provincial_n that_o i_o may_v very_o well_o imagine_v that_o my_o carriage_n have_v be_v of_o disgust_n to_o he_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v submit_v the_o business_n to_o the_o ordinary_a and_o that_o without_o have_v acquaint_v he_o with_o it_o before_o though_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n it_o be_v true_a that_o when_o he_o will_v not_o admit_v of_o the_o foundation_n and_o see_v that_o i_o do_v not_o alter_v my_o course_n i_o may_v probable_o enough_o imagine_v that_o he_o will_v not_o care_n much_o though_o it_o go_v on_o and_o whether_o these_o new_a religious_a will_v be_v content_a to_o live_v in_o so_o great_a restraint_n whether_o they_o be_v not_o to_o want_v bread_n to_o eat_v whether_o the_o whole_a business_n be_v not_o a_o absurd_a and_o foolish_a thing_n and_o who_o in_o fine_a must_v put_v i_o upon_o it_o since_o already_o i_o have_v a_o monastery_n of_o my_o own_o but_o now_o all_o that_o which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v command_v i_o and_o all_o those_o opinion_n of_o the_o learned_a man_n who_o i_o have_v consult_v and_o all_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o have_v cause_v to_o be_v make_v and_o that_o in_o effect_n without_o cease_v yea_o and_o also_o for_o the_o space_n of_o more_o than_o two_o whole_a year_n all_o this_o i_o say_v be_v as_o absolute_o slip_v out_o of_o my_o memory_n as_o if_o it_o have_v never_o be_v there_o and_o i_o only_o remember_v now_o that_o i_o do_v it_o according_a to_o my_o own_o opinion_n but_o all_o the_o virtue_n and_o faith_n which_o i_o have_v before_o be_v suspend_v in_o i_o then_o without_o my_o have_a strength_n either_o to_o act_v any_o thing_n or_o even_o so_o much_o as_o to_o defend_v myself_o against_o so_o many_o assault_n the_o devil_n be_v also_o tamper_n with_o i_o and_o examine_v i_o how_o it_o come_v to_o pass_v that_o i_o will_v needs_o go_v shut_v myself_o up_o in_o so_o straight_o a_o house_n and_o that_o with_o so_o many_o infirmity_n upon_o my_o back_n and_o how_o i_o will_v be_v able_a to_o undergo_v so_o great_a penance_n and_o give_v over_o to_o live_v in_o so_o goodly_a and_o delightful_a a_o place_n as_o the_o other_o be_v where_o i_o have_v always_o have_v so_o much_o gust_n and_o so_o many_o friend_n and_o perhaps_o these_o other_o will_v not_o prove_v so_o that_o i_o have_v take_v very_o much_o upon_o i_o that_o perhaps_o it_o will_v cost_v i_o despair_v at_o the_o last_o that_o the_o devil_n have_v pretend_v but_o to_o deprive_v i_o of_o repose_n and_o peace_n that_o so_o i_o may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o frequent_v prayer_n and_o to_o make_v i_o grow_v disorder_v and_o disturb_v and_o so_o by_o those_o degree_n to_o loose_v my_o soul_n such_o thing_n as_o these_o assemble_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o have_v relate_v do_v the_o devil_n take_v care_n to_o set_v before_o i_o and_o so_o as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o almost_o in_o my_o power_n so_o much_o as_o once_o to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n do_v he_o bring_v such_o a_o affliction_n and_o obscurity_n or_o rather_o downright_a darkness_n upon_o my_o hart_n as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v but_o now_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o this_o case_n i_o go_v to_o visit_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n though_o yet_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o recommend_v my_o soul_n to_o it_o as_o find_v myself_o in_o my_o opinion_n with_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o profound_a affliction_n as_o if_o then_o i_o have_v be_v in_o no_o less_o than_o the_o very_a agony_n of_o death_n to_o treat_v with_o any_o body_n about_o it_o i_o be_v not_o yet_o to_o presume_v for_o there_o be_v not_o yet_o so_o much_o as_o a_o ghostly_a father_n appoint_v for_o i_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n what_o a_o miserable_a kind_n of_o life_n be_v this_o which_o we_o lead_v where_o there_o be_v no_o secure_a contentment_n nor_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o subject_a to_o change_v it_o thus_o be_v so_o very_o very_o late_o that_o i_o think_v i_o will_v not_o have_v exchange_v my_o condition_n in_o the_o way_n of_o be_v content_a with_o any_o creature_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o now_o the_o selfsame_a cause_n even_o of_o the_o selfsame_a contentment_n do_v so_o torment_v i_o
that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o o_o that_o we_o will_v look_v with_o attention_n upon_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n for_o every_o body_n will_v then_o be_v quick_o able_a to_o find_v by_o experience_n how_o little_a he_o be_v to_o lodge_v either_o his_o contentment_n or_o discontentment_n upon_o it_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a in_o my_o opinion_n that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o feirce_v kind_n of_o fit_n of_o affliction_n that_o ever_o i_o have_v endure_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n and_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o my_o very_a spirit_n have_v half_o prophesy_v how_o much_o do_v still_o rest_v behind_o to_o be_v endure_v though_o yet_o that_o arrive_v not_o so_o far_o as_o this_o if_o it_o have_v continue_v but_o now_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o poor_a servant_n of_o he_o to_o suffer_v long_o nor_o do_v he_o ever_o fail_v to_o succour_v i_o in_o my_o tribulation_n nor_o do_v he_o also_o in_o this_o for_o now_o he_o give_v i_o a_o little_a objection_n light_n wherewith_o to_o see_v that_o all_o this_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o i_o may_v discern_v the_o truth_n and_o that_o the_o whole_a business_n be_v but_o to_o put_v i_o into_o a_o fright_n by_o lie_n and_o so_o i_o come_v by_o degree_n to_o call_v to_o mind_n and_o to_o recover_v the_o great_a resolution_n which_o i_o have_v former_o conceive_v towards_o the_o service_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o also_o my_o desire_n to_o suffer_v for_o he_o and_o so_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v that_o if_o real_o i_o intend_v to_o fulfil_v they_o i_o be_v not_o to_o busy_v myself_o about_o procure_v rest_n and_o ease_n but_o if_o i_o will_v endure_v affliction_n that_o this_o be_v the_o true_a way_n to_o merit_v and_o that_o if_o i_o will_v goe-through_a with_o they_o for_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n they_o will_v be_v in_o stead_n of_o purgatory_n for_o i_o &_o of_o what_o be_v i_o afraid_a &_o that_o since_o i_o desire_v affliction_n these_o which_o be_v offer_v now_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a &_o good_a and_o that_o where_o the_o great_a contradiction_n be_v feel_v the_o rich_a gain_n will_v be_v find_v and_o why_o shall_v my_o hart_n fail_v i_o for_o his_o service_n to_o who_o i_o owe_v so_o much_o and_o by_o these_o and_o other_o consideration_n and_o employ_v all_o the_o courage_n i_o have_v i_o make_v a_o promise_n in_o presence_n of_o the_o b._n sacrament_n to_o do_v all_o the_o very_a uttermost_a that_o i_o can_v to_o get_v leave_n to_o come_v to_o this_o monastery_n as_o also_o if_o i_o may_v do_v it_o with_o safe_a conscience_n to_o promise_n clausure_n but_o now_o at_o my_o resolve_v upon_o this_o the_o devil_n flee_v instant_o away_o and_o leave_v i_o very_o quiet_a and_o content_v and_o so_o i_o have_v remain_v ever_o since_o and_o all_o that_o which_o be_v observe_v in_o this_o house_n either_o by_o way_n of_o enclosure_n or_o penance_n in_o any_o kind_n have_v make_v itself_o both_o very_a delightful_a and_o seem_v 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subject_a be_v amaze_v at_o it_o bless_a be_v our_o lord_n who_o give_v it_o all_o and_o have_v power_n enough_o wherewith_o to_o do_v it_o but_o i_o fail_v not_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n to_o be_v very_o well_o weary_v with_o such_o a_o stiff_a contention_n and_o strife_n as_o this_o though_o yet_o i_o laugh_v at_o the_o devil_n for_o i_o clear_o see_v it_o be_v he_o and_o i_o conceive_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v permit_v it_o because_o i_o never_o know_v till_o then_o what_o it_o be_v to_o be_v in_o any_o disgust_n for_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n nor_o do_v i_o ever_o find_v any_o during_o the_o space_n of_o eight_o and_o twenty_o year_n and_o more_o that_o i_o have_v be_v one_o but_o now_o his_o divine_a majesty_n permit_v it_o to_o come_v upon_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v the_o better_o understand_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v i_o in_o that_o state_n yea_o and_o the_o torment_n from_o which_o he_o have_v free_v i_o as_o also_o to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o afterward_o i_o see_v any_o one_o who_o shall_v be_v afflict_v in_o the_o same_o kind_n i_o may_v not_o be_v fright_v at_o it_o but_o may_v both_o have_v compassion_n of_o she_o and_o know_v also_o how_o to_o give_v her_o comfort_n if_o there_o shall_v be_v cause_n but_o now_o have_v pass_v this_o brunt_n and_o be_v desirous_a to_o rest_v a_o little_a when_o i_o shall_v have_v dine_v for_o in_o all_o the_o night_n before_o i_o have_v take_v none_o as_o also_o in_o many_o other_o night_n i_o have_v not_o fail_v of_o care_n and_o trouble_n enough_o when_o yet_o i_o be_v also_o tire_v out_o in_o the_o day_n as_o they_o know_v very_o well_o what_o pass_v not_o only_o in_o the_o monastery_n but_o in_o the_o city_n there_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o noise_n and_o disquiet_v upon_o the_o occasion_n which_o have_v be_v former_o touch_v yea_o and_o there_o seem_v to_o be_v some_o colour_n for_o the_o same_o just_o then_o the_o prioress_n require_v i_o to_o be_v call_v and_o that_o i_o must_v go_v to_o she_o at_o the_o instant_n and_o meet_v with_o her_o commandment_n i_o leave_v my_o religious_a full_a of_o pain_n and_o care_n and_o so_o instant_o go_v to_o she_o but_o i_o than_o perceive_v well_o that_o i_o be_v to_o be_v sure_a of_o trouble_n enough_o though_o yet_o the_o house_n be_v then_o dispatch_v i_o be_v not_o in_o very_a much_o pain_n howsoever_o i_o betake_v myself_o to_o prayer_n beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o be_v good_a to_o i_o and_o beg_v of_o my_o father_n s._n joseph_n that_o he_o will_v bring_v i_o back_o again_o to_o his_o house_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o offered-up_a all_o that_o which_o i_o may_v chance_v to_o endure_v for_o his_o sake_n and_o i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o well_o please_v if_o it_o fall_v out_o that_o i_o may_v suffer_v any_o thing_n for_o he_o or_o be_v able_a to_o serve_v he_o and_o so_o i_o go_v away_o with_o opinion_n that_o they_o will_v instant_o 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majesty_n or_o yet_o against_o the_o order_n i_o conceive_v not_o that_o i_o have_v offend_v but_o rather_o have_v endeavour_v to_o augment_v it_o to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o my_o power_n and_o will_v be_v glad_a with_o my_o whole_a hart_n to_o die_v for_o it_o for_o all_o my_o desire_n be_v that_o it_o may_v be_v fulfil_v according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a perfection_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o call_v to_o mind_v the_o sentence_n which_o be_v pass_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o i_o acknowledge_v what_o a_o nothing_o this_o be_v