a_o firm_a foundation_n so_o that_o the_o true_a love_n of_o god_n consist_v not_o in_o have_v tear_n or_o tenderness_n or_o spiritual_a gust_n which_o we_o be_v wont_n for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o desire_v and_o to_o take_v comfort_n in_o but_o to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o word_n justice_n and_o fortitude_n and_o humility_n for_o in_o that_o other_o course_n i_o think_v we_o be_v rather_o on_o the_o take_a hand_n then_o on_o the_o give_n any_o thing_n of_o our_o own_o as_o for_o poor_a weak_a silly_a woman_n and_o who_o be_v of_o little_a courage_n like_v i_o i_o think_v i_o can_v find_v it_o fit_a that_o our_o lord_n shall_v carry_v they_o on_o with_o regalo_n that_o so_o they_o may_v be_v the_o better_o induce_v to_o suffer_v those_o affliction_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o they_o shall_v bear_v but_o for_o the_o true_a servant_n of_o god_n man_n of_o substance_n and_o solid_a way_n man_n of_o learning_n and_o understanding_n to_o 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that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o walk_v on_o with_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o rather_o like_o weak_a and_o cowardly_a people_n who_o dare_v not_o set_v upon_o difficulty_n and_o i_o say_v not_o this_o so_o much_o for_o they_o who_o be_v but_o beginner_n though_o yet_o i_o press_v it_o so_o far_o because_o it_o import_v very_o much_o that_o they_o begin_v with_o this_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n and_o resolution_n but_o even_o for_o other_o also_o for_o there_o be_v many_o who_o have_v already_o begin_v and_o yet_o who_o never_o in_o fine_a resolve_v upon_o do_v herein_o home_n what_o they_o ought_v and_o i_o believe_v that_o this_o proceed_v in_o great_a part_n from_o their_o not_o resolve_v to_o take_v up_o and_o carry_v this_o cross_n from_o the_o very_a beginning_n for_o such_o shall_v go_v on_o still_o afflict_v as_o conceave_a that_o all_o that_o be_v nothing_o which_o they_o do_v because_o when_o the_o understanding_n gives-ove_a to_o work_v and_o act_n they_o use_v not_o to_o be_v 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by_o serve_v god_n for_o one_o hour_n it_o may_v now_o be_v so_o for_o four_o and_o many_o time_n for_o i_o have_v very_o great_a experience_n of_o this_o case_n and_o know_v it_o to_o be_v true_a because_o i_o have_v both_o consider_v it_o with_o care_n and_o have_v also_o treat_v about_o it_o with_o spiritual_a person_n this_o grow_v even_o from_o our_o corporal_a indisposition_n for_o we_o be_v so_o very_o total_o infirm_a that_o this_o poor_a little_a wretched_a soul_n of_o we_o participate_v in_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o body_n and_o even_o the_o alteration_n of_o the_o weather_n and_o the_o revolution_n of_o their_o own_o natural_a humour_n be_v many_o time_n the_o occasion_n why_o without_o even_o any_o fault_n of_o their_o own_o they_o can_v well_o do_v even_o what_o they_o will_v but_o be_v fain_o to_o suffer_v thus_o in_o all_o kind_n and_o when_o they_o strive_v to_o force_v themselves_o in_o these_o coniuncture_n of_o time_n it_o prove_v to_o be_v so_o much_o the_o worse_o with_o they_o and_o the_o inconvenience_n will_v last_v so_o much_o the_o long_o but_o discretion_n must_v be_v use_v herein_o to_o weigh_v when_o this_o effect_n proceed_v from_o this_o cause_n and_o they_o must_v not_o oppress_v and_o stifle_v this_o poor_a soul_n but_o understand_v and_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v sick_a let_v the_o hour_n of_o prayer_n in_o god_n name_n be_v change_v yea_o and_o many_o time_n it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o do_v so_o for_o some_o day_n and_o let_v they_o pass_v through_o this_o bannishment_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o they_o can_v since_o it_o be_v misfortune_n and_o misery_n enough_o for_o a_o soul_n which_o do_v indeed_o love_v almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o she_o live_v in_o so_o great_a misery_n and_o that_o she_o be_v no_o way_n able_a to_o do_v even_o what_o herself_o desire_v in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v lodge_v with_o so_o untoward_a and_o ill_o a_o host_n as_o this_o body_n be_v i_o say_v this_o be_v to_o be_v do_v with_o discretion_n because_o sometime_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v a_o cause_n of_o these_o thing_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v good_a neither_o always_o to_o leave_v the_o usual_a &_o set_a time_n of_o prayer_n whensoever_o there_o may_v be_v great_a disturbance_n and_o distraction_n in_o the_o understanding_n nor_o yet_o always_o to_o stand_v torment_v the_o soul_n towards_o the_o make_n it_o do_v more_o than_o it_o can_v there_o be_v also_o other_o exterior_a work_n of_o charity_n &_o of_o read_v also_o which_o may_v be_v use_v though_o yet_o sometime_o the_o soul_n will_v not_o be_v so_o much_o as_o fit_a even_o for_o that_o but_o in_o that_o case_n let_v the_o mind_n be_v even_o subject_a as_o it_o be_v to_o the_o body_n for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o many_o other_o time_n the_o body_n serve_v the_o soul_n and_o let_v the_o party_n in_o such_o case_n take_v the_o entertainment_n and_o pastime_n of_o conversation_n with_o other_o so_o that_o it_o be_v holy_a or_o divert_v himself_o with_o go_v a_o little_a abroad_o to_o take_v the_o air_n as_o the_o ghostly_a father_n shall_v advise_v for_o experience_n be_v a_o great_a schoolmistress_n in_o all_o thing_n towards_o the_o give_v any_o one_o to_o understand_v what_o may_v be_v fit_a and_o almighty_a god_n be_v serve_v in_o all_o this_o business_n for_o his_o yoke_n be_v sweet_a and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o much_o importance_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o servile_o drag_v as_o one_o may_v say_v but_o that_o it_o be_v carry_v sweet_o on_o towards_o the_o receive_n of_o more_o benefit_n and_o profit_n so_o that_o i_o advise_v again_o and_o again_o for_o though_o i_o say_v it_o often_o it_o will_v do_v no_o hurt_n because_o the_o matter_n import_v so_o much_o that_o no_o body_n be_v to_o afflict_v nor_o oppress_v himself_o either_o through_o dryness_n or_o disquiet_v or_o distraction_n of_o thought_n nor_o yet_o to_o go_v up_o and_o down_o with_o any_o such_o kind_n of_o tribulation_n if_o they_o pretend_v to_o gain_v liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o let_v he_o once_o begin_v not_o to_o be_v in_o such_o a_o fright_n upon_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o cross_n and_o he_o shall_v see_v how_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v help_v he_o to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o contentment_n he_o will_v grow_v to_o have_v and_o how_o he_o will_v be_v able_a to_o make_v his_o profit_n of_o all_o thing_n for_o already_o we_o may_v sufficient_o perceive_v that_o if_o there_o be_v no_o spring_n of_o water_n in_o the_o well_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o put_v any_o there_o true_a it_o be_v that_o we_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v negligent_a and_o careless_a but_o endeavour_v to_o draw_v it_o out_o if_o there_o be_v
they_o but_o all_o goodness_n and_o all_o care_n also_o of_o my_o good_a but_o pass_v on_o from_o that_o tender_a age_n to_o be_v able_a to_o begin_v to_o understand_v the_o benefit_n and_o gift_n of_o nature_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o which_o other_o esteem_v and_o say_v to_o be_v great_a in_o steed_n of_o give_v he_o thanks_n for_o the_o same_o i_o begin_v to_o serve_v myself_o of_o they_o all_o towards_o the_o offence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v the_o second_o chapter_n which_o show_v how_o she_o go_v lose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o how_o very_o much_o it_o import_v to_o converse_v in_o childhood_n with_o virtuous_a person_n i_o believe_v that_o a_o certain_a thing_n whereof_o i_o will_v now_o give_v account_n begin_v to_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n sometime_o i_o grow_v to_o consider_v how_o ill_o those_o parent_n do_v who_o procure_v not_o that_o their_o child_n shall_v be_v ever_o see_v example_n of_o virtue_n in_o all_o kind_n for_o though_o my_o mother_n be_v very_o eminent_a that_o way_n as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o yet_o i_o take_v not_o so_o much_o of_o that_o good_a to_o myself_o when_o first_o i_o come_v to_o the_o use_n of_o reason_n no_o nor_o almost_o even_o any_o thing_n at_o all_o and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n whatsoever_o there_o be_v of_o imperfect_a and_o ill_a do_v hurt_v i_o much_o my_o mother_n be_v very_o particular_o affect_v to_o read_v book_n of_o cavalleria_n or_o vain_a history_n but_o she_o take_v not_o so_o much_o hurt_v by_o that_o entertainment_n as_o i_o do_v because_o it_o hinder_v not_o that_o work_n the_o while_n about_o which_o she_o be_v but_o disengage_v we_o from_o other_o thing_n that_o so_o we_o may_v read_v they_o and_o perhaps_o she_o do_v it_o also_o the_o rather_o that_o she_o may_v so_o have_v her_o thought_n less_o bend_v upon_o the_o memory_n of_o the_o great_a affliction_n which_o she_o feel_v and_o to_o employ_v also_o her_o child_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o to_o divert_v they_o from_o the_o thought_n of_o worse_a thing_n my_o father_n be_v yet_o so_o much_o trouble_v at_o this_o that_o particular_a care_n be_v have_v that_o he_o may_v not_o kouw_v it_o but_o i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n remain_v with_o the_o custom_n of_o read_v these_o book_n and_o that_o little_a fault_n of_o i_o which_o even_o i_o myself_o discern_v therein_o begin_v to_o cool_v my_o good_a desire_n and_o be_v the_o reason_n why_o i_o also_o grow_v to_o fail_v in_o the_o rest_n and_o i_o make_v myself_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v not_o very_o ill_o do_v though_o yet_o i_o spend_v many_o hour_n both_o of_o the_o day_n and_o night_n in_o so_o vain_a a_o exercise_n and_o though_o it_o be_v still_o conceal_v from_o my_o father_n but_o i_o be_v possess_v heerwith_n in_o such_o extremity_n that_o if_o perhaps_o i_o can_v not_o get_v some_o new_a book_n i_o see_v not_o how_o i_o can_v be_v in_o contentment_n i_o begin_v also_o to_o make_v myself_o fine_a and_o to_o desire_v to_o grow_v acceptable_a in_o seem_v handsome_a and_o i_o take_v much_o care_n of_o my_o hand_n and_o of_o my_o hair_n and_o to_o get_v choice_a perfume_n together_o with_o all_o those_o vanity_n which_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o incurte_n by_o this_o mean_n which_o i_o confess_v be_v enough_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o be_v very_o curious_a in_o this_o kind_n i_o have_v only_o no_o ill_a intention_n nor_o desire_v i_o upon_o any_o term_n that_o any_o creature_n shall_v offend_v almighty_a god_n upon_o any_o occasion_n of_o i_o but_o i_o continue_v in_o so_o great_a a_o curiosity_n for_o daintiness_n and_o cleanlines_n as_o be_v even_o beyond_o all_o reason_n and_o those_o thing_n which_o for_o many_o year_n i_o conceive_v to_o be_v of_o no_o sin_n at_o all_o i_o find_v now_o how_o very_o ill_o they_o be_v now_o i_o have_v certain_a cousin-german_n who_o frequent_v my_o father_n house_n in_o familiar_a manner_n no_o other_o have_v any_o such_o liberty_n as_o that_o for_o my_o father_n be_v very_o wary_a and_o reserve_v in_o this_o kind_n but_o i_o will_v to_o god_n he_o have_v also_o be_v so_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o cousin_n because_o now_o i_o discern_v the_o danger_n that_o it_o be_v for_o such_o as_o be_v to_o begin_v to_o plant_v virtue_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o treat_v with_o person_n who_o know_v not_o in_o true_a account_n how_o great_a the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n be_v but_o rather_o be_v incline_v to_o awake_v &_o stir_v other_o up_o to_o cast_v themselves_o also_o into_o the_o same_o danger_n these_o kinsman_n of_o i_o be_v in_o effect_n of_o my_o own_o age_n or_o rather_o a_o little_o elder_a than_o i._o we_o be_v usual_o together_o and_o they_o carry_v great_a affection_n to_o i_o and_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o give_v they_o contentment_n i_o be_v willing_a to_o uphold_v the_o discourse_n and_o give_v ear_n to_o the_o success_n of_o their_o love_n to_o other_o and_o such_o other_o foolery_n as_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o yea_o and_o which_o be_v worse_o i_o grow_v by_o these_o mean_n to_o lay_v my_o soul_n open_a to_o be_v look_v upon_o by_o certain_a idle_a thought_n which_o be_v the_o cause_n of_o all_o the_o ensue_a ill_a if_o i_o be_v worthy_a to_o advise_v parent_n i_o will_v wish_v they_o to_o take_v great_a heed_n what_o kind_n of_o person_n they_o admit_v to_o converse_v with_o their_o child_n for_o much_o harm_n may_v grow_v from_o thence_o since_o the_o natural_a condition_n of_o mankind_n will_v never_o climb_v up_o so_o easy_o towards_o good_a as_o decline_v towards_o ill_n at_o least_o it_o happen_v so_o to_o i_o i_o have_v a_o sister_n much_o elder_a than_o myself_o of_o who_o purity_n and_o goodness_n whereof_o she_o have_v great_a store_n i_o take_v no_o part_n but_o i_o fail_v not_o to_o take_v all_o hurt_n from_o a_o certain_a other_o kinswoman_n of_o i_o who_o have_v also_o familiar_a entry_n into_o our_o house_n now_o she_o be_v of_o so_o light_a and_o guiddie_a a_o conversation_n that_o my_o mother_n have_v use_v several_a diligence_n to_o divert_v she_o from_o familiarity_n with_o us._n for_o it_o seem_v she_o do_v even_o half_o foresee_v the_o mischief_n which_o be_v to_o grow_v upon_o i_o by_o her_o mean_n and_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n the_o occasion_n be_v so_o great_a &_o fair_a whereby_o she_o be_v to_o enter_v that_o even_o my_o mother_n can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o decline_v it_o with_o this_o creature_n as_o i_o be_v say_v do_v i_o come_v to_o have_v much_o delight_n to_o entertain_v myself_o with_o she_o be_v my_o conversation_n and_o my_o discourse_n because_o i_o find_v that_o she_o employ_v herself_o willing_o upon_o all_o those_o way_n of_o pass_v my_o time_n wherein_o i_o delight_v most_o yea_o and_o sometime_o she_o will_v embark_v i_o in_o they_o of_o herself_o give_v i_o part_n and_o knowledge_n of_o all_o her_o own_o conversation_n and_o vanity_n till_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v familiar_a with_o she_o when_o i_o think_v i_o be_v some_o fourteen_o year_n old_a or_o rather_o a_o little_a more_o i_o mean_v till_o she_o have_v wrought_v herself_o into_o so_o much_o friendship_n with_o i_o as_o to_o make_v i_o partake_v the_o knowledge_n of_o all_o her_o little_a affair_n i_o be_o much_o incline_v to_o think_v that_o i_o have_v never_o forfeit_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o any_o mortal_a sin_n nor_o ever_o forsake_v the_o fear_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o fear_v more_o to_o loose_v my_o honour_n this_o last_o point_n be_v of_o power_n enough_o with_o i_o for_o not_o permit_v i_o to_o loose_v it_o outright_o nor_o do_v i_o conceive_v that_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n can_v make_v i_o change_v that_o resolution_n nor_o be_v there_o any_o person_n alive_a who_o can_v win_v i_o to_o yield_v myself_o up_o to_o that_o misery_n i_o will_v to_o god_n i_o have_v so_o abound_v in_o strength_n &_o courage_n as_o not_o to_o make_v one_o pace_n against_o the_o honour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o natural_a constitution_n of_o mind_n confirm_v i_o towards_o the_o not_o lose_v that_o wherein_o i_o hold_v the_o honour_n of_o this_o world_n to_o consist_v though_o yet_o i_o consider_v not_o the_o while_n that_o i_o lose_v even_o that_o also_o many_o way_n for_o the_o vain_a uphold_v hereof_o i_o have_v even_o a_o extreme_a resolution_n though_o yet_o for_o the_o proper_a and_o fit_a mean_n which_o be_v necessary_a for_o preserve_v it_o i_o use_v none_o at_o all_o only_o i_o be_v earnest_a in_o take_v care_n that_o i_o may_v by_o
all_o their_o hope_n be_v lose_v though_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o all_o that_o loss_n be_v gain_n but_o let_v they_o advice_n as_o i_o have_v say_v represent_v themselves_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o without_o weary_v of_o the_o understanding_n be_v speak_v and_o regal_v themselves_o with_o he_o and_o not_o tire_v their_o wit_n to_o find_v out_o and_o frame_v certain_a discourse_n but_o let_v they_o only_o present_v their_o necessity_n and_o the_o reason_n which_o he_o may_v have_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o endure_v they_o there_o some_o one_o of_o these_o consideration_n will_v serve_v at_o one_o time_n and_o some_o other_o at_o a_o other_o that_o so_o the_o soul_n may_v not_o be_v weary_a of_o feed_v always_o upon_o one_o dish_n these_o particular_n be_v both_o very_a gustfull_a and_o very_o profitable_a also_o if_o once_o the_o party_n be_v accustom_v to_o feed_v on_o they_o for_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v great_a support_n and_o 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of_o quiet_a prayer_n she_o treat_v how_o many_o soul_n come_v to_o arrive_v to_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o that_o few_o pass_v beyond_o it_o the_o particular_n which_o be_v touch_v here_o be_v not_o only_o very_o profitable_a but_o very_o necessary_a let_v we_o now_o return_v to_o our_o purpose_n this_o quietness_n and_o recollection_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v easy_o perceive_v by_o the_o satisfaction_n and_o peace_n which_o be_v infuse_v into_o she_o with_o a_o very_a great_a contentment_n and_o calmness_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o say_a soul_n together_o with_o a_o very_a great_a delight_n and_o now_o it_o seem_v to_o she_o because_o she_o be_v not_o come_v yet_o any_o further_a that_o already_o she_o have_v nothing_o leave_v to_o desire_v and_o that_o with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n she_o can_v make_v the_o same_o suit_n with_o s._n peter_n that_o her_o abode_n may_v be_v ever_o there_o she_o dare_v not_o stir_v or_o move_v nay_o she_o will_v hardly_o give_v herself_o 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and_o little_a spark_n if_o indeed_o it_o be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n and_o not_o a_o gust_n either_o give_v by_o the_o devil_n or_o yet_o procure_v by_o ourselves_o though_o yet_o still_o one_o who_o have_v experience_n can_v possible_o but_o understand_v at_o the_o very_a instant_n that_o it_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n as_o can_v be_v acquire_v save_o that_o even_o in_o our_o very_a natural_a condition_n we_o be_v so_o greedy_a of_o all_o that_o which_o be_v savoury_a that_o we_o will_v needs_o taste_v of_o all_o but_o if_o as_o i_o say_v it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n we_o quick_o grow_v again_o to_o be_v very_o cold_a and_o how_o much_o soever_o we_o ourselves_o may_v begin_v to_o make_v this_o fire_n also_o burn_v for_o the_o procure_n of_o this_o gust_n we_o seem_v to_o have_v indeed_o a_o mind_n to_o do_v no_o other_o business_n hereby_o then_o to_o cast-on_a water_n enough_o to_o quench_v it_o whereas_o if_o in_o very_a deed_n this_o little_a spark_n be_v of_o divine_a love_n and_o be_v convey_v by_o almighty_a god_n into_o the_o soul_n how_o small_a and_o poor_a soever_o it_o be_v it_o will_v find_v some_o shift_n or_o other_o to_o make_v a_o mighty_a noise_n and_o if_o the_o soul_n do_v not_o quench_v it_o by_o her_o own_o fault_n this_o prove_v that_o very_a thing_n which_o begin_v to_o make_v a_o huge_a kind_n of_o fire_n and_o send_v forth_o great_a flame_n from_o itself_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v in_o fit_a place_n of_o that_o mighty_a love_n of_o god_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v gracious_o please_v that_o perfect_a soul_n shall_v enjoy_v and_o this_o very_a spark_n be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o sign_n and_o even_o pawn_v
be_v never_o so_o much_o alone_o though_o yet_o i_o feel_v still_o that_o i_o know_v there_o be_v a_o god_n and_o i_o find_v also_o that_o it_o be_v my_o imagination_n and_o my_o understanding_n which_o do_v i_o so_o much_o hurt_v in_o these_o occasion_n and_o cafe_v for_o as_o for_o my_o will_n i_o think_v it_o stand_v right_a in_o i_o and_o that_o it_o be_v dispose_v to_o all_o goodness_n but_o this_o understanding_n of_o i_o be_v so_o entire_o lose_v that_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n than_o some_o furious_a and_o mad_a kind_n of_o fool_n who_o no_o body_n be_v able_a to_o bind_v nor_o be_o i_o so_o far_a mistress_n thereof_o as_o that_o i_o can_v make_v it_o quiet_a for_o one_o credo_fw-la sometime_o i_o fall_v on_o laugh_v and_o yet_o then_o do_v i_o know_v my_o misery_n and_o stand_v look_v upon_o my_o soul_n and_o permit_v she_o to_o do_v what_o she_o will_v and_o yet_o our_o lord_n be_v thank_v she_o never_o by_o any_o mean_n apply_v herself_o to_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v ill_a but_o only_o about_o thing_n which_o be_v indifferent_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v occur_v to_o be_v do_v either_o here_o or_o there_o or_o any_o where_o else_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v better_o the_o incomparable_a mercy_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o upon_o his_o tying-up_a this_o mad_a fool_n when_o we_o be_v in_o perfect_a contemplation_n and_o here_o i_o consider_v what_o will_v become_v of_o i_o if_o such_o person_n as_o hold_v i_o now_o for_o good_a can_v discern_v i_o to_o have_v these_o idleness_n and_o impertinency_n which_o i_o have_v describe_v here_o but_o now_o i_o have_v very_o great_a compassion_n of_o a_o soul_n to_o find_v she_o in_o so_o ill_a company_n as_o this_o i_o will_v fain_o see_v she_o rather_o in_o liberty_n and_o i_o express_v myself_o in_o this_o manner_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n when_o o_o my_o god_n shall_v i_o arrive_v to_o see_v my_o soul_n all_o conjoin_a and_o unite_v together_o in_o celebrate_v thy_o praise_n that_o so_o all_o the_o power_n thereof_o may_v admire_v thou_o permit_v not_o heerafrer_n o_o lord_n that_o she_o wander_v up_o and_o down_o by_o piece_n for_o now_o it_o seem_v no_o otherwise_o then_o as_o if_o every_o one_o of_o the_o same_o power_n be_v run_v up_o and_o down_o in_o a_o several_a way_n these_o thing_n pass_v thus_o very_o often_o and_o i_o understand_v also_o very_o well_o that_o sometime_o the_o little_a corporal_a health_n i_o have_v contribute_v much_o to_o these_o inconvenience_n i_o also_o reflect_v much_o by_o these_o occasion_n upon_o the_o hurt_n which_o the_o sin_n of_o our_o first_o parent_n have_v do_v we_o for_o i_o think_v it_o be_v grow_v from_o thence_o that_o we_o be_v incapable_a to_o enjoy_v so_o great_a a_o good_a and_o my_o own_o sin_n be_v a_o great_a part_n of_o the_o cause_n for_o certain_o if_o i_o have_v not_o commit_v so_o many_o i_o shall_v have_v remain_v more_o entire_a and_o free_a towards_o the_o do_n of_o good_a i_o be_v subject_a also_o by_o time_n to_o another_o very_a great_a inconvenience_n for_o conceave_a that_o i_o understand_v all_o the_o book_n that_o treat_v of_o prayer_n which_o i_o come_v to_o read_v and_o that_o already_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o some_o such_o kind_n of_o favour_n as_o that_o i_o need_v they_o not_o for_o this_o reason_n i_o do_v not_o read_v they_o but_o apply_v myself_o to_o read_v the_o live_v of_o saint_n and_o find_v myself_o also_o very_o short_a in_o that_o wherein_o they_o have_v so_o heroical_o serve_v almighty_a god_n this_o seem_v to_o do_v i_o good_a and_o give_v i_o strength_n but_o yet_o i_o think_v this_o be_v a_o sign_n of_o little_a humility_n for_o i_o to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v already_o arrive_v to_o hold_v that_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o quiet_v myself_o otherwise_o i_o continue_v much_o in_o pain_n till_o certain_a learned_a man_n and_o particular_o that_o bless_a creature_n fray_n pedro_fw-la de_fw-fr alcantara_n declare_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o to_o be_v trouble_v at_o that_o i_o be_o not_o ignorant_a that_o in_o the_o serve_v of_o almighty_a god_n i_o have_v not_o yet_o so_o much_o as_o begin_v though_o yet_o the_o way_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v hold_v in_o do_v i_o favour_n be_v the_o same_o which_o he_o have_v use_v towards_o such_o as_o be_v good_a whereas_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o no_o more_o than_o a_o direct_a downright_a mere_a imperfection_n unless_o it_o be_v in_o my_o desire_n to_o love_v he_o for_o in_o this_o indeed_o i_o see_v well_o that_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v i_o favour_n that_o so_o i_o may_v perform_v some_o little_a thing_n for_o he_o i_o confess_v i_o think_v i_o love_v he_o but_o my_o action_n and_o the_o many_o imperfection_n which_o i_o discern_v therein_o give_v i_o great_a discomfort_n at_o other_o time_n my_o soul_n fall_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o foolery_n for_o so_o it_o be_v when_o i_o think_v i_o do_v neither_o good_a nor_o ill_a but_o follow_v on_o after_o the_o walk_n of_o other_o folk_n and_o this_o neither_o with_o pain_n nor_o glory_n nor_o with_o thought_n of_o life_n or_o death_n nor_o gust_n nor_o trouble_n yea_o i_o think_v she_o feel_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o rather_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o walk_v on_o like_o some_o little_a ass_n who_o seed_n and_o sustain_v himself_o because_o they_o give_v he_o somewhat_o to_o eat_v and_o he_o eat_v almost_o without_o think_v what_o he_o be_v do_v for_o the_o soul_n when_o she_o be_v in_o this_o state_n be_v not_o likely_a to_o be_v without_o feed_v upon_o some_o great_a favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o she_o be_v not_o trouble_v with_o live_v in_o so_o miserable_a a_o life_n as_o this_o but_o pass_v through_o it_o with_o patience_n and_o equality_n of_o mind_n but_o yet_o these_o motion_n and_o effect_n be_v not_o find_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o the_o soul_n be_v make_v to_o understand_v herself_o by_o they_o 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able_a to_o do_v and_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v contain_v in_o itself_o as_o it_o seem_v the_o water_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v not_o able_a to_o continue_v in_o the_o earth_n which_o still_o be_v cast_v it_o up_o from_o thence_o and_o just_o so_o be_v it_o very_o usual_a for_o the_o soul_n not_o to_o be_v at_o quiet_a or_o in_o contentment_n with_o herself_o through_o the_o love_n she_o bear_v to_o almighty_a god_n but_o she_o be_v so_o bathe_v and_o soak_v and_o fill_v with_o it_o that_o she_o wish_n that_o other_o will_v drink_v too_o since_o for_o her_o part_n she_o can_v want_v that_o so_o they_o may_v assist_v she_o to_o sing_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n o_o how_o often_o do_v i_o call_v to_o mind_n that_o live_a water_n whereof_o our_o lord_n speak_v to_o the_o samaritan_n as_o indeed_o i_o be_o very_o much_o devote_a to_o that_o gospel_n and_o real_o it_o be_v most_o true_a that_o i_o be_v so_o even_o from_o my_o childhood_n though_o i_o do_v not_o then_o understand_v this_o benefit_n as_o now_o i_o do_v but_o i_o often_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o bestow_v of_o this_o water_n upon_o i_o and_o always_o i_o have_v the_o image_n or_o figure_n of_o it_o at_o hand_n with_o this_o motto_n or_o word_n of_o she_o when_o he_o be_v so_o near_o the_o well_o domine_fw-la da_fw-la mihi_fw-la hanc_fw-la aquam_fw-la o_o lord_n bestow_v this_o water_n upon_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o as_o a_o fire_n which_o be_v very_o great_a needs_o matter_n upon_o which_o to_o work_v to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v not_o be_v extinguish_v so_o also_o for_o
near_o they_o with_o hallow_v candle_n candle_n a_o excellent_a advice_n take_v heed_n of_o this_o great_a danger_n danger_n consider_v this_o point_n much_o and_o often_o often_o note_v this_o good_a conclusion_n upon_o the_o praemise_n praemise_n note_v this_o very_o well_o for_o nothing_o import_v more_o they_o this_o this_o a_o great_a and_o gross_a error_n error_n a_o point_n of_o very_o great_a importance_n importance_n note_n note_n this_o be_v the_o beginning_n of_o many_o great_a blessing_n blessing_n her_o entrance_n into_o the_o receave_n supernatural_a favour_n favour_n it_o work_n not_o indeed_o by_o way_n of_o use_v discourse_n or_o make_v inference_n but_o yet_o it_o work_v by_o way_n of_o contemplation_n and_o admiration_n of_o the_o infinite_a object_n be_v god_n who_o be_v set_v before_o it_o it_o note_n note_n a_o great_a &_o foolish_a error_n error_n behold_v here_o the_o true_a &_o great_a impediment_n impediment_n this_o saint_n be_v admirable_a in_o all_o the_o 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as_o so_o much_o fire_n for_o the_o inflame_a it_o in_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o the_o soul_n do_v more_o proper_o suffer_v here_o then_o act_n and_o now_o the_o saint_n give_v great_a warning_n that_o people_n be_v not_o so_o foolish_a as_o to_o offer_v at_o these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o a_o great_a truth_n truth_n a_o dangerous_a &_o proud_n foolish_a error_n error_n observe_v the_o generous_a way_n of_o this_o great_a saint_n saint_n note_v this_o very_a well_o well_o a_o great_a praise_n of_o a_o large_a hart_n hart_n how_o saint_n be_v to_o be_v imitate_v &_o how_o admire_v admire_v note_v this_o well_o well_o a_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n our_o daily_a bread_n bread_n a_o description_n of_o a_o good_a director_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n spirit_n note_n note_n how_o the_o will_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o to_o the_o other_o faculty_n of_o the_o mind_n mind_n the_o blessing_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n note_n note_n how_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o in_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n a_o true_a &_o happy_a comparison_n comparison_n the_o good_a spirit_n very_o easy_o discern_v from_o the_o bad_a bad_a note_v this_o point_n above_o all_o all_o a_o most_o necessary_a document_n document_n a_o great_a blessing_n by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n prayer_n these_o be_v the_o more_o generous_a mind_n mind_n as_o when_o one_o be_v die_v die_v this_o be_v a_o admirable_a state_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o true_a state_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n in_o this_o prayer_n how_o there_o be_v a_o union_n in_o this_o prayer_n &_o how_o there_o be_v none_o none_o the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n the_o difference_n betweme_v elevation_n and_o union_n union_n she_o proceed_v in_o declare_v the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n a_o consideration_n of_o strange_a comfort_n comfort_n this_o be_v strange_a indeed_o indeed_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n prayer_n consider_v this_o very_a well_o well_o take_v heed_n heed_n a_o most_o dangerous_a temptation_n temptation_n consider_v and_o admire_v this_o passage_n passage_n the_o manner_n &_o nature_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o strange_a state_n of_o mind_n which_o perhaps_o be_v describe_v in_o the_o whole_a book_n book_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n this_o saint_n it_o admirable_a in_o her_o comparison_n comparison_n other_o great_a effect_n of_o true_a rapt_n rapt_n her_o great_a zeal_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o king_n king_n she_o allude_v to_o comet_n and_o blaze_a star_n star_n a_o rare_a expression_n expression_n anopinion_n which_o be_v more_o probable_a then_o true_a true_a this_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v a_o foolish_a and_o ill-favoured_a kind_n of_o error_n in_o those_o other_o other_o that_o be_v by_o several_a vision_n vision_n a_o sweet_a and_o just_a complaint_n and_o worthy_a of_o the_o saint_n who_o make_v it_o it_o by_o vision_n vision_n believe_v and_o consider_v this_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o doubt_n which_o can_v easy_o be_v solue_v solue_v she_o grow_n now_o to_o make_v serious_a enquiry_n after_o a_o good_a director_n director_n the_o only_a excellent_a course_n course_n this_o holy_a man_n enter_v often_o into_o the_o story_n of_o our_o saint_n saint_n this_o be_v no_o improbable_a opinion_n though_o it_o be_v no_o true_a one_o one_o so_o good_a a_o begin_n be_v almost_o a_o kind_n of_o perfect_v the_o work_n work_n the_o saint_n begann_v here_o to_o be_v happy_a happy_a this_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n &_o likely_a to_o work_n wonder_v upon_o a_o soul_n soul_n he_o lose_v nothing_o by_o leave_v to_o be_v a_o duke_n for_o god_n sake_n sake_n this_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o a_o wise_a man_n man_n a_o little_a of_o this_o go_v far_o far_o so_o true_a it_o be_v that_o god_n be_v god_n god_n the_o mighty_a force_n and_o power_n of_o any_o one_o supernatural_a word_n word_n the_o infinite_a difference_n betweme_v supernatural_a word_n of_o god_n &_o all_o other_o other_o a_o strange_a encounter_n encounter_n great_a power_n of_o our_o lord_n lord_n how_o quick_o she_o get_v courage_n against_o the_o devil_n devil_n a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n this_o be_v a_o very_a ill_a advice_n indeed_o indeed_o the_o incredible_a dear_a sweetness_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n to_o a_o soul_n soul_n observe_v this_o well_o well_o this_o saint_n you_o see_v be_v certain_o no_o protestant_n protestant_n the_o masque_n of_o pride_n pride_n a_o admirable_a example_n of_o penance_n penance_n humane_a frailty_n and_o celestial_a glory_n be_v not_o compatible_a compatible_a imaginary_a vision_n represent_v to_o &_o by_o the_o sense_n be_v of_o the_o low_a rank_n &_o most_o subject_a to_o danger_n danger_n the_o great_a effect_n of_o a_o admirable_a and_o most_o sublime_a vision_n vision_n the_o difference_n be_v easy_o find_v both_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o false_a and_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o fancy_n fancy_n a_o plain_a demonstration_n demonstration_n in_o order_n to_o the_o guide_v of_o other_o a_o director_n may_v easy_o have_v too_o mean_a a_o optnion_n of_o himself_o himself_o this_o saint_n be_v huge_o vex_v by_o the_o insatisfaction_n which_o she_o receive_v from_o many_o spiritual_a man_n man_n this_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o be_v know_v know_v this_o be_v a_o true_a fortiter_fw-la sed_fw-la suaviter_fw-la suaviter_fw-la this_o saint_n be_v most_o strange_o familiar_o and_o supernatural_o visit_v by_o our_o b_o lord_n lord_n a_o strange_a task_n which_o be_v put_v even_o by_o holy_a man_n upon_o this_o saint_n saint_n the_o more_o she_o be_v discountenance_v even_o by_o good_a man_n so_o much_o the_o more_o high_o be_v she_o favour_v by_o our_o lord_n lord_n a_o rare_a comparison_n comparison_n still_o more_o &_o more_o excellent_a comparison_n comparison_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n a_o strange_a mixture_n of_o affection_n but_o such_o as_o god_n know_v how_o to_o give_v give_v this_o grief_n be_v after_o the_o rate_n of_o the_o love_n love_n a_o very_a safe_a and_o wise_a way_n of_o proceed_v proceed_v this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n here_o follow_v a_o whole_a world_n of_o sad_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n trouble_n the_o difference_n betweme_v divine_a and_o diabolical_a grief_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o way_n &_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a desolation_n desolation_n a_o pretty_a humour_n humour_n a_o happy_a state_n state_n she_o make_v along_o discourse_n of_o the_o diabolical_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n to_o which_o she_o be_v subject_a subject_a the_o excellency_n of_o holy_a water_n water_n a_o great_a and_o just_a consolation_n consolation_n a_o question_n worthy_a of_o he_o that_o ask_v it_o it_o this_o be_v a_o very_a great_a truth_n but_o the_o accent_n must_v be_v put_v upon_o the_o word_n indeed_o indeed_o and_o though_o she_o shall_v have_v continue_v to_o ask_v it_o i_o dare_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v not_o have_v grant_v it_o it_o a_o must_v certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o wise_a &_o solid_a truth_n truth_n exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o love_n of_o honour_n agree_v not_o well_o together_o together_o this_o be_v not_o to_o be_v literal_o understand_v for_o the_o devil_n can_v prepare_v no_o place_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o hell_n but_o by_o the_o decree_n of_o almighty_a god_n upon_o the_o particular_a judgement_n give_v at_o the_o death_n of_o the_o party_n party_n the_o sin_n of_o ingratitude_n discorrespondence_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o creature_n which_o she_o do_v commit_v and_o the_o great_a and_o mortal_a sin_n which_o she_o will_v most_o certain_o have_v commit_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v and_o withhold_v she_o she_o hell_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o in_o spirit_n after_o a_o most_o subtle_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v show_v to_o she_o and_o describe_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o the_o imagination_n of_o the_o party_n and_o they_o chief_o serve_v as_o testimony_n &_o sign_n of_o those_o interior_a grace_n &_o virtue_n which_o use_v to_o be_v imprint_v upon_o soul_n at_o those_o very_a time_n by_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n lord_n she_o mean_v herself_o herself_o this_o saint_n be_v a_o excellent_a person_n to_o make_v a_o friend_n of_o of_o a_o very_a strange_a demonstration_n of_o a_o most_o civil_a noble_a and_o friendly_a hart_n hart_n our_o bless_a lord_n be_v still_o as_o good_a as_o his_o word_n word_n the_o great_a charity_n &_o humility_n of_o the_o saint_n saint_n how_o devout_a this_o dear_a saint_n be_v be_v they_o be_v very_o noble_a though_o they_o be_v poor_a poor_a the_o devil_n be_v still_o himself_o himself_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o world_n as_o wherein_o thing_n will_v ever_o go_v thus_o thus_o a_o true_a answer_n to_o all_o the_o devil_n objection_n objection_n note_v the_o description_n which_o the_o saint_n make_v here_o of_o her_o religious_a religious_a this_o fast_a of_o the_o order_n be_v not_o so_o strict_a and_o rigorous_a as_o that_o of_o the_o church_n but_o be_v rather_o a_o forbearance_n of_o half_a the_o meal_n than_o a_o fast_a fast_a this_o point_n of_o have_v so_o very_a few_o in_o a_o monastery_n be_v partly_o mean_v for_o they_o who_o be_v to_o live_v in_o any_o place_n on_o alm_n and_o partly_o because_o the_o saint_n have_v see_v some_o disorder_n by_o have_v too_o many_o religious_a in_o other_o house_n and_o yet_o the_o saint_n herself_o come_v afterward_o to_o admit_v of_o twenty_o in_o stead_n of_o twelue_v and_o will_v perhaps_o have_v admit_v more_o if_o she_o have_v find_v reason_n for_o it_o it_o she_o inveigh_v with_o much_o reason_n against_o vain_a compliment_n and_o especial_o among_o religious_a people_n people_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o useful_a document_n document_n a_o true_a noble_a &_o most_o generous_a hart_n hart_n great_a effect_n of_o a_o vision_n
be_v extreme_o fierce_a of_o a_o double_a quartane_a which_o i_o be_v also_o then_o grow_v to_o have_v about_o this_o time_n i_o make_v so_o very_o great_a haste_n to_o return_v to_o the_o monastery_n that_o i_o get_v myself_o to_o be_v carry_v away_o as_o i_o be_v and_o they_o receive_v she_o who_o they_o expect_v for_o dead_a with_o a_o soul_n which_o be_v yet_o in_o the_o body_n but_o the_o body_n itself_o worse_o than_o dead_a through_o the_o pain_n they_o see_v it_o endure_v the_o great_a extremity_n of_o my_o weakness_n can_v be_v relate_v for_o i_o have_v nothing_o leave_v but_o my_o skin_n and_o bone_n and_o i_o must_v say_v that_o i_o continue_v thus_o above_o eight_o month_n for_o i_o be_v direct_o a_o cripple_n though_o yet_o i_o be_v then_o on_o the_o mend_a hand_n upon_o the_o very_a point_n of_o three_o year_n when_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o go_v upon_o all_o four_o i_o thank_v god_n as_o for_o a_o good_a degree_n of_o amendment_n but_o i_o pass_v through_o all_o these_o affliction_n with_o great_a comformitie_n to_o the_o holy_a will_n of_o almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o unless_o it_o be_v in_o the_o very_a beginning_n with_o much_o alacrity_n and_o joy_n for_o i_o esteem_v it_o all_o as_o nothing_o be_v compare_v with_o those_o pain_n and_o torment_n wherein_o i_o have_v be_v before_o and_o i_o be_v whole_o resign_v then_o to_o god_n holy_a will_n although_o he_o shall_v have_v leave_v i_o in_o that_o state_n for_o ever_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o all_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o desire_n to_o recover_v be_v only_o that_o i_o may_v apply_v myself_o to_o prayer_n all_o alone_a as_o i_o have_v be_v instruct_v but_o for_o this_o there_o be_v no_o mean_n in_o the_o infirmarie_n i_o confess_v my_o sin_n very_o often_o i_o speak_v with_o they_o much_o of_o god_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o edifyed_a they_o all_o and_o indeed_o they_o be_v amaze_v to_o see_v the_o patience_n which_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o i_o for_o if_o it_o have_v not_o come_v from_o the_o hand_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n to_o endure_v such_o a_o deal_n of_o torment_n with_o so_o much_o contentment_n a_o point_n of_o great_a moment_n that_o favour_n be_v which_o our_o b._n lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o do_v i_o by_o give_v i_o prayer_n for_o this_o make_v i_o come_v to_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o love_v he_o and_o from_o that_o little_a time_n which_o i_o spend_v therein_o i_o find_v these_o virtue_n to_o be_v grow_v up_o fresh_a in_o i_o though_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o strong_a nor_o able_a to_o hold_v i_o upright_o in_o strict_a account_n i_o speak_v not_o ill_o of_o any_o creature_n how_o little_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v but_o my_o ordinary_a custom_n be_v to_o avoid_v all_o manner_n of_o detraction_n for_o i_o always_o have_v this_o thought_n present_a with_o i_o that_o i_o be_v never_o to_o wish_v nor_o to_o say_v any_o such_o thing_n of_o any_o creature_n as_o i_o will_v not_o have_v they_o say_v of_o i_o and_o i_o take_v this_o so_o extreme_o to_o hart_n in_o all_o such_o occasion_n as_o may_v occur_v though_o yet_o not_o still_o so_o very_o perfect_o when_o sometime_o any_o great_a occasion_n be_v offer_v i_o to_o break_v my_o rule_n that_o this_o be_v my_o constant_a use_n and_o i_o persuade_v such_o as_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v much_o in_o my_o company_n and_o conversation_n so_o earnest_o to_o this_o practice_n that_o it_o grow_v also_o up_o with_o they_o into_o custom_n by_o this_o mean_n it_o come_v to_o be_v common_o understand_v that_o wheresoever_o i_o chance_v to_o be_v all_o absent_a person_n be_v safe_a and_o so_o be_v they_o also_o much_o more_o conceived_a to_o be_v when_o any_o of_o my_o near_a friend_n or_o kindred_n or_o other_o who_o i_o have_v instruct_v be_v concern_v though_o in_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v a_o great_a account_n to_o make_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o the_o ill_a example_n which_o i_o give_v they_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o forgive_v those_o many_o ill_a thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v be_v cause_n howsoever_o i_o be_v not_o so_o with_o so_o wicked_a intention_n as_o the_o action_n succeed_v ill_o afterward_o i_o still_o remain_v with_o great_a like_n to_o enjoy_v solitude_n and_o i_o also_o love_v in_o particular_a manner_n to_o discourse_v and_o treat_v of_o thing_n concern_v almighty_a god_n and_o if_o still_o i_o can_v find_v with_o who_o that_o give_v i_o more_o contentment_n and_o even_o recreation_n than_o all_o the_o politenes_n or_o rather_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v grossness_n of_o the_o conversation_n of_o the_o world_n can_v do_v and_o i_o love_v to_o confess_v and_o communicate_v often_o than_o i_o have_v do_v and_o to_o desire_v it_o much_o and_o to_o be_v extreme_o affect_v with_o read_v good_a book_n and_o to_o have_v so_o extraordinary_a a_o sorrow_n for_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n that_o many_o time_n i_o remember_v how_o i_o dare_v not_o adventure_v to_o put_v myself_o into_o prayer_n because_o i_o fear_v that_o excessive_a pain_n which_o i_o be_v sure_a i_o shall_v feel_v in_o the_o quality_n of_o a_o great_a punishment_n for_o my_o offence_n and_o this_o grow_v afterward_o to_o such_o a_o extremity_n that_o i_o know_v not_o to_o what_o in_o fine_a i_o may_v well_o compare_v this_o torment_n but_o now_o this_o never_o happen_v to_o i_o either_o more_o or_o less_o for_o any_o fear_n at_o all_o but_o only_o when_o i_o remember_v those_o regalo_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o in_o my_o prayer_n and_o the_o very_a much_o that_o i_o owe_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o those_o high_a favour_n and_o when_o i_o see_v how_o ill_o i_o pay_v he_o for_o all_o his_o goodness_n i_o be_v no_o long_o able_a to_o endure_v it_o yea_o and_o i_o find_v myself_o also_o extreme_o offend_v with_o myself_o even_o for_o the_o many_o tear_n which_o i_o shed_v for_o the_o fault_n when_o i_o see_v the_o so_o little_a amendment_n which_o i_o make_v whilst_o neither_o my_o resolution_n nor_o the_o pain_n and_o care_n wherein_o i_o be_v not_o to_o fall_v back_o again_o when_o once_o the_o occasion_n shall_v be_v offer_v be_v sufficient_a to_o stay_v i_o for_o then_o even_o my_o very_a teat_n will_v seem_v deceitful_a to_o my_o very_a self_n and_o my_o fault_n will_v also_o appear_v so_o much_o the_o fowler_n because_o i_o see_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o by_o impart_v those_o tear_n to_o my_o eye_n and_o so_o great_a repentance_n to_o my_o hart_n i_o procure_v also_o to_o confess_v myself_o often_o and_o so_o in_o my_o opinion_n i_o do_v what_o i_o can_v on_o my_o part_n to_o restore_v myself_o to_o the_o state_n of_o grace_n but_o all_o my_o misery_n indeed_o consist_v in_o that_o i_o pluck_v not_o the_o occasion_n of_o sin_n up_o by_o the_o root_n and_o partly_o also_o in_o those_o ghostly_a father_n who_o assist_v i_o little_a for_o if_o they_o have_v once_o direct_o declare_v to_o i_o the_o danger_n wherein_o i_o be_v from_o time_n to_o time_n and_o that_o i_o be_v in_o obligation_n not_o to_o have_v pass_v my_o hour_n in_o such_o conversation_n i_o be_o very_o confident_o persuade_v that_o all_z will_v have_v be_v quick_o redress_v for_o i_o shall_v never_o have_v endure_v to_o pass_v one_o day_n in_o mortal_a sin_n if_o i_o have_v understand_v the_o case_n all_o these_o sign_n and_o hope_n of_o my_o endeavour_v to_o fear_v and_o serve_v almighty_a god_n be_v come_v to_o i_o by_o mean_n of_o prayer_n and_o the_o great_a of_o they_o all_o be_v that_o i_o walk_v as_o it_o be_v all_o wrap_v up_o in_o love_n for_o as_o for_o the_o punishment_n of_o sin_n it_o never_o once_o appear_v before_o i_o all_o the_o while_n that_o i_o be_v so_o sick_a i_o continue_v to_o keep_v a_o very_a close_a guard_n upon_o my_o conscience_n for_o as_o much_o as_o may_v concern_v mortal_a sinne._n but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o vehement_o do_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v restore_v to_o my_o health_n that_o i_o may_v procure_v to_o serve_v thou_o so_o much_o the_o better_o whereas_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n it_o be_v the_o occasion_n of_o all_o my_o misery_n but_o now_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o lame_a and_o even_o such_o a_o cripple_n and_o that_o whilst_o i_o be_v yet_o so_o very_o young_a and_o how_o the_o physician_n of_o this_o world_n have_v dress_v i_o and_o to_o what_o state_n they_o have_v bring_v i_o i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v apply_v myself_o to_o those_o of_o the_o other_o to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v cure_v i_o for_o
which_o they_o who_o be_v good_a may_v well_o enjoy_v without_o any_o disadvantage_n to_o their_o goodness_n because_o they_o owe_v no_o more_o since_o they_o do_v not_o promise_n clausure_n but_o as_o for_o i_o who_o be_o wicked_v it_o will_v certain_o have_v carry_v i_o down_o to_o hell_n unless_o our_o lord_n have_v draw_v i_o out_o of_o this_o danger_n by_o very_a many_o remedy_n and_o mean_n and_o most_o particular_a favour_n and_o so_o i_o think_v a_o monastery_n of_o woman_n with_o liberty_n expose_v they_o to_o very_o great_a hazard_n and_o rather_o appear_v in_o my_o eye_n as_o a_o way_n whereby_o they_o who_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v wicked_a may_v walk_v on_o towards_o hell_n then_o as_o a_o remedy_n for_o their_o weakness_n i_o mean_v not_o this_o by_o my_o monastery_n for_o therein_o be_v so_o many_o who_o serve_v our_o lord_n so_o much_o in_o earnest_n and_o with_o so_o great_a perfection_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n through_o his_o goodness_n can_v fail_v of_o do_v they_o favour_n neither_o be_v this_o monastery_n also_o of_o the_o most_o open_a and_o dis-enclosed_n and_o beside_o all_o good_a religious_a order_n be_v observe_v in_o it_o but_o i_o speak_v what_o i_o be_v speak_v of_o other_o which_o i_o know_v and_o have_v see_v i_o say_v therefore_o that_o those_o other_o give_v i_o cause_n to_o have_v great_a compassion_n of_o they_o for_o they_o have_v need_n of_o particular_a motion_n and_o call_v from_o our_o lord_n and_o not_o once_o but_o very_o often_o that_o so_o they_o may_v be_v save_v consider_v how_o much_o the_o honour_n and_o recreation_n of_o the_o world_n be_v now_o grow_v to_o be_v authorize_v and_o how_o little_a such_o as_o they_o be_v understand_v the_o very_a much_o to_o which_o they_o be_v oblige_v so_o that_o i_o beseech_v god_n they_o hold_v not_o that_o sometime_o for_o virtue_n which_o be_v sin_n as_o myself_o do_v often_o yea_o and_o there_o be_v so_o great_a difficulty_n in_o make_v this_o be_v well_o understand_v that_o there_o be_v need_n of_o no_o less_o then_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o shall_v serious_o put_v his_o hand_n to_o the_o work_n if_o father_n will_v take_v my_o counsel_n since_o they_o will_v not_o procure_v to_o put_v their_o daughter_n where_o they_o may_v walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o salvation_n but_o rather_o be_v in_o more_o danger_n than_o they_o shall_v perhaps_o have_v meet_v with_o in_o the_o world_n i_o will_v advise_v they_o at_o least_o to_o consider_v their_o own_o honour_n and_o rather_o to_o marry_v they_o very_o mean_o then_o to_o put_v they_o into_o such_o monastery_n as_o those_o unless_o they_o be_v very_o virtuous_o incline_v yea_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o even_o this_o may_v serve_v the_o turn_n yea_o or_o else_o let_v they_o rather_o continue_v they_o in_o their_o own_o house_n for_o if_o they_o will_v needs_o be_v wicked_a it_o can_v be_v there_o keep_v private_a but_o for_o a_o very_a short_a time_n but_o here_o it_o may_v be_v 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and_o friendship_n which_o the_o devil_n find_v mean_n sometime_o to_o bring_v into_o monastery_n i_o can_v therefore_o meet_v with_o no_o reason_n why_o we_o shall_v be_v amaze_v to_o see_v so_o many_o misery_n in_o the_o church_n since_o they_o who_o ought_v to_o be_v pattern_n for_o other_o that_o so_o all_o man_n may_v grow_v to_o be_v virtuous_a by_o their_o example_n have_v total_o blot_v out_o that_o work_v which_o the_o spirit_n of_o the_o saint_n in_o old_a time_n leave_v register_v in_o our_o religious_a order_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o give_v such_o remedy_n to_o these_o mischief_n as_o he_o know_v best_o to_o be_v needful_a amen_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n when_o i_o begin_v to_o use_v such_o conversation_n as_o these_o i_o little_o think_v that_o so_o great_a distraction_n and_o other_o damage_n will_v grow_v to_o my_o soul_n by_o that_o kind_n of_o proceed_v when_o i_o see_v they_o be_v so_o much_o 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give_v i_o also_o advise_v and_o light_n in_o so_o great_a a_o darkness_n as_o that_o be_v for_o christ_n our_o lord_n represent_v himself_o before_o i_o with_o much_o rigour_n and_o give_v i_o well_o to_o understand_v how_o great_o he_o be_v disgu_v at_o my_o proceed_n i_o see_v he_o only_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n but_o yet_o much_o more_o distinct_o and_o more_o clear_o than_o i_o can_v possible_o have_v do_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o body_n and_o he_o remain_v so_o deep_o imprint_v there_o that_o although_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o above_o six_o and_o twenty_o year_n ago_o i_o think_v he_o be_v still_o as_o present_v to_o i_o now_o as_o he_o be_v then_o but_o i_o be_o sure_a
i_o remain_v so_o alter_v yea_o and_o so_o astonish_v that_o i_o intend_v to_o see_v that_o person_n no_o more_o it_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n that_o i_o know_v not_o at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o one_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n but_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o body_n and_o the_o devil_n be_v careful_a enough_o to_o continue_v i_o in_o that_o erroneous_a opinion_n and_o to_o make_v i_o still_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v impossible_a and_o therefore_o that_o i_o have_v but_o fancy_v certain_a thing_n to_o myself_o and_o that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v a_o work_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o he_o bring_v many_o suggestion_n like_o this_o upon_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o be_v very_o confident_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o be_v god_n and_o no_o conceit_n or_o fancy_n at_o all_o but_o yet_o still_o because_o it_o induce_v i_o to_o do_v thing_n which_o be_v against_o my_o gust_n i_o do_v the_o best_a i_o can_v even_o to_o belie_v my_o very_a self_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o dare_v not_o confer_v with_o any_o body_n about_o this_o particular_a and_o find_v myself_o also_o extreme_o importune_v afterward_o and_o be_v wish_v to_o be_v assure_v that_o it_o can_v not_o be_v ill_o do_v to_o see_v such_o a_o person_n as_o that_o and_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o loss_n of_o honour_n by_o it_o but_o rather_o gain_v i_o return_v to_o enjoy_v the_o same_o conversation_n yea_o and_o also_o at_o other_o time_n i_o converse_v in_o like_a manner_n with_o other_o for_o they_o be_v many_o year_n wherein_o i_o take_v this_o pestilential_a recreation_n and_o when_o once_o i_o be_v far_o embark_v therein_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o i_o to_o be_v so_o very_a ill_n as_o yet_o indeed_o it_o be_v though_o still_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o sometime_o i_o discern_v clear_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v not_o good_a but_o yet_o no_o other_o conversation_n distract_v i_o so_o much_o as_o this_o in_o particular_a do_v by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a affection_n which_o i_o bear_v to_o the_o party_n but_o myself_o be_v afterward_o again_o with_o the_o same_o person_n we_o both_o of_o we_o see_v come_v towards_o we_o and_o there_o be_v other_o also_o present_a who_o see_v it_o too_o a_o certain_a thing_n which_o have_v the_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a toad_n and_o it_o press_v and_o pass_v on_o with_o very_o much_o more_o speed_n than_o such_o creature_n use_v to_o have_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o conceive_v how_o such_o a_o filthy_a beast_n as_o that_o shall_v get_v into_o that_o room_n through_o that_o part_n from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v at_o noon_n day_n nor_o have_v ever_o any_o such_o thing_n be_v see_v there_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o wrought_v with_o i_o seem_v not_o to_o have_v be_v void_a of_o some_o mystery_n and_o this_o also_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o can_v never_o forget_v but_o o_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n with_o how_o much_o care_n &_o pity_n be_v thou_o admonish_v i_o in_o so_o many_o kind_n and_o by_o so_o many_o way_n &_o how_o little_a do_v i_o permit_v that_o all_o these_o warning_n shall_v help_v there_o be_v also_o there_o at_o that_o time_n a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n of_o my_o kindred_n and_o she_o be_v ancient_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o of_o much_o discipline_n in_o her_o religious_a order_n she_o also_o will_v sometime_o be_v give_v i_o good_a counsel_n but_o i_o do_v not_o only_o not_o believe_v she_o but_o be_v also_o disgu_v with_o she_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o will_v needs_o take_v scandal_n at_o i_o without_o cause_n and_o this_o i_o here_o relate_v to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o my_o wickedness_n and_o the_o great_a goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v be_v the_o better_o understand_v and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v know_v how_o well_o i_o deserve_a hell_n for_o my_o great_a ingratitude_n and_o i_o do_v it_o also_o to_o this_o end_n that_o if_o our_o lord_n may_v so_o ordain_v &_o be_v please_v that_o any_o religious_a woman_n may_v fall_v upon_o read_v this_o discourse_n they_o may_v be_v bring_v to_o be_v careful_a to_o take_v warning_n by_o i_o and_o i_o beg_v of_o they_o that_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n they_o will_v take_v heed_n of_o such_o recreation_n as_o these_o and_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o some_o one_o of_o they_o may_v be_v disabused_n who_o i_o have_v deceive_v when_o i_o tell_v they_o that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_a and_o when_o be_v in_o such_o blindness_n at_o that_o time_n i_o procure_v to_o assure_v they_o that_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n at_o all_o and_o in_o regard_n also_o that_o by_o the_o ill_a example_n which_o i_o give_v give_v they_o as_o i_o have_v relate_v here_o i_o be_v a_o cause_n to_o they_o of_o great_a mischief_n while_o yet_o i_o think_v not_o that_o i_o do_v so_o much_o hurt_v and_o though_o also_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o i_o have_v no_o design_n at_o all_o to_o deceive_v they_o but_o now_o even_o while_o i_o be_v yet_o much_o indispose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o health_n both_o concern_v body_n and_o mind_n and_o so_o before_o i_o be_v able_a to_o help_v myself_o in_o either_o kind_n i_o grow_v into_o a_o extreme_a desire_n to_o do_v other_o good_a which_o be_v a_o very_a ordinary_a temptation_n for_o new_a beginner_n though_o yet_o it_o happen_v now_o to_o succeed_v well_o with_o i_o and_o consider_v how_o dear_o i_o love_v my_o father_n i_o wish_v he_o the_o self_n same_o benefit_n which_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v get_v and_o gain_v by_o mean_n of_o mental_a prayer_n and_o esteem_v that_o in_o this_o life_n there_o be_v no_o great_a blessing_n then_o to_o obtain_v and_o enjoy_v that_o gift_n i_o begin_v by_o certain_a way_n of_o discourse_n to_o procure_v the_o best_a i_o can_v that_o he_o will_v endeavour_v to_o obtain_v it_o and_o i_o give_v he_o certain_a book_n for_o this_o purpose_n now_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o much_o virtue_n as_o i_o have_v already_o declare_v grow_v to_o settle_v himself_o so_o very_o well_o in_o this_o exercise_n that_o he_o come_v within_o five_o or_o six_o year_n for_o so_o long_o i_o think_v it_o be_v to_o be_v so_o well_o improve_v and_o advance_v therein_o that_o i_o bless_v our_o lord_n much_o for_o the_o favour_n and_o it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a consolation_n the_o trouble_n and_o cross_n which_o he_o endure_v be_v very_o great_a and_o of_o many_o kind_n and_o he_o pass_v through_o they_o all_o with_o much_o conformity_n to_o the_o will_n of_o our_o lord_n he_o come_v to_o see_v i_o often_o and_o be_v great_o comfort_v to_o treat_v of_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o when_o now_o i_o live_v so_o distract_v and_o diffuse_v without_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o see_v withal_o that_o he_o conceive_v i_o to_o be_v still_o the_o very_a same_o that_o i_o have_v be_v before_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o endure_v to_o live_v without_o undeceaving_a he_o for_o i_o have_v then_o be_v a_o year_n and_o more_o without_o 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although_o i_o be_v recover_v of_o the_o main_n sickness_n i_o have_v yet_o disease_n yea_o and_o very_o great_a one_o still_o and_o that_o although_o of_o late_a they_o have_v not_o assault_v i_o with_o so_o very_a great_a fierceness_n as_o before_o yet_o they_o fail_v not_o still_o to_o continue_v and_o to_o exercise_v i_o also_o in_o many_o kind_n in_o particular_a that_o i_o have_v certain_a vomit_n for_o twenty_o year_n together_o every_o morning_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o can_v never_o break_v my_o fast_n till_o noon_n be_v past_a yea_o and_o
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prosecute_v the_o same_o argument_n about_o this_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o finish_v the_o declaration_n of_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o work_n and_o declare_v also_o the_o disadvantage_n which_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n be_v wont_a to_o bring_v in_o this_o case_n i_o have_v already_o speak_v to_o some_o good_a proportion_n of_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o of_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o perform_v therein_o or_o rather_o of_o what_o god_n do_v in_o she_o for_o now_o it_o be_v himself_o who_o take_v the_o office_n of_o gardner_n
for_o so_o many_o foul_a treason_n as_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o thou_o by_o these_o few_o poor_a little_a tear_n of_o i_o which_o yet_o be_v give_v i_o by_o thyself_o and_o which_o real_o for_o my_o part_n thereof_o be_v but_o as_o so_o much_o water_n of_o a_o stinke_v well_o for_o still_o i_o be_o commit_v sin_n &_o procure_v to_o frustrate_v &_o even_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v the_o favour_n which_o thou_o have_v do_v i_o but_o be_v thou_o please_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n to_o give_v value_n to_o these_o poor_a tear_n and_o do_v thou_o purifye_v this_o so_o trouble_a water_n of_o my_o soul_n though_o it_o shall_v be_v for_o no_o other_o reason_n then_o only_o to_o keep_v man_n free_a from_o the_o temptation_n of_o make_v rash_a judgement_n as_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v be_v subject_a to_o this_o thought_n why_o o_o lord_n do_v thou_o pass_v over_o those_o other_o holy_a people_n who_o have_v always_o serve_v and_o suffer_v for_o thou_o and_o have_v be_v bred-up_a in_o the_o way_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n and_o be_v indeed_o true_o religious_a and_o not_o like_o i_o who_o have_v no_o more_o thereof_o than_o the_o name_n and_o yet_o i_o clear_o see_v that_o thou_o do_v they_o not_o those_o favour_n which_o thou_o have_v do_v i_o but_o yet_o here_o i_o discern_v very_o well_o o_o thou_o my_o eternal_a good_a that_o thou_o keep_v their_o reward_n in_o store_n that_o so_o thou_o may_v give_v it_o they_o all_o together_o and_o that_o my_o weakness_n be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o have_v need_v to_o be_v proceed_v with_o thus_o whereas_o they_o like_o gallant_a person_n be_v content_a to_o serve_v thou_o still_o without_o these_o help_n and_o so_o thou_o treat_a they_o as_o valiant_a people_n who_o have_v no_o interest_n of_o their_o own_o but_o yet_o i_o with_o all_o this_o o_o my_o lord_n cryed-out_a many_o time_n before_o thou_o excuse_v they_o who_o murmur_v against_o i_o because_o i_o think_v they_o have_v too_o much_o reason_n for_o what_o they_o 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clapp_n and_o in_o my_o opinion_n not_o without_o much_o cause_n and_o therefore_o i_o undertake_v no_o enmity_n against_o any_o creature_n but_o only_o beseech_v thy_o divine_a majesty_n to_o consider_v what_o little_a reason_n they_o have_v they_o say_v that_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v myself_o a_o saint_n and_o that_o i_o invent_v certain_a novelty_n though_o i_o have_v not_o arrive_v yet_o by_o a_o great_a deal_n to_o fulfil_v all_o my_o own_o rule_n nor_o overtake_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n those_o many_o good_a and_o holy_a religious_a woman_n who_o be_v in_o that_o monastery_n nor_o do_v i_o think_v indeed_o that_o i_o shall_v ever_o arrive_v so_o far_o unless_o almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n will_v be_v please_v to_o perform_v it_o all_o on_o his_o part_n but_o rather_o that_o i_o be_v likely_a to_o abolish_v that_o which_o be_v good_a and_o to_o establish_v certain_a custom_n which_o be_v not_o so_o at_o least_o i_o do_v what_o i_o can_v to_o introduce_v they_o and_o i_o have_v always_o power_n enough_o to_o do_v hurt_v so_o that_o they_o blame_v i_o without_o any_o fault_n of_o they_o nor_o do_v i_o say_v that_o they_o be_v only_o religious_a woman_n but_o other_o also_o who_o tell_v i_o truth_n because_o it_o be_v permit_v by_o thou_o when_o once_o i_o be_v say_v my_o office_n i_o who_o have_v sometime_o be_v subject_a to_o this_o temptation_n come_v to_o this_o verse_n justus_n es_fw-la domine_fw-la &_o rectum_fw-la iudicium_fw-la tuum_fw-la thou_o be_v just_a o_o lord_n and_o thy_o judgement_n be_v right_a and_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v how_o true_a this_o be_v for_o in_o this_o kind_n the_o devil_n have_v never_o power_n to_o tempt_v i_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v i_o doubt_v but_o that_o thou_o o_o lord_n be_v the_o owner_n and_o author_n of_o all_o goodness_n no_o nor_o yet_o in_o any_o thing_n at_o all_o which_o belong_v to_o faith_n nay_o rather_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o more_o they_o be_v above_o nature_n the_o more_o firm_o do_v i_o believe_v they_o yea_o and_o they_o cause_v even_o more_o devotion_n in_o i_o and_o in_o regard_n that_o thou_o be_v omnipotent_a all_o such_o greatness_n as_o thou_o shall_v be_v please_v to_o act_v and_o execute_v be_v resolve_v upon_o and_o conclude_v in_o i_o and_o of_o this_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o never_o have_v doubt_n so_o that_o when_o i_o come_v afterward_o to_o consider_v how_o thou_o can_v permit_v that_o there_o shall_v be_v so_o many_o dear_a servant_n of_o thou_o as_o i_o be_v say_v who_o yet_o receive_v not_o those_o favour_n and_o regalos_n which_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o i_o be_v so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n as_o i_o be_v thou_o answer_v i_o thus_o o_o lord_n do_v thou_o serve_v i_o and_o do_v not_o trouble_v thyself_o with_o that_o now_o this_o be_v the_o very_a first_o word_n of_o that_o kind_n which_o ever_o i_o perceive_v thou_o to_o speak_v to_o i_o and_o therefore_o it_o amaze_v i_o much_o and_o i_o will_v hereafter_o declare_v this_o manner_n of_o understand_v thing_n together_o with_o diverse_a other_o i_o speak_v not_o of_o it_o here_o for_o it_o be_v to_o go_v from_o the_o purpose_n and_o i_o believe_v i_o have_v go_v from_o it_o already_o and_o in_o effect_n i_o scarce_o know_v what_o i_o have_v say_v nor_o can_v it_o indeed_o well_o be_v otherwise_o but_o your_o reverence_n must_v needs_o bear_v with_o these_o interual_n and_o interruption_n for_o when_o i_o once_o consider_v how_o much_o god_n endure_v at_o my_o hand_n and_o withal_o behold_v myself_o in_o this_o condition_n it_o be_v not_o to_o go_v for_o a_o strange_a thing_n that_o i_o lose_v my_o aim_n both_o in_o that_o which_o i_o say_v and_o be_o to_o say_v and_o i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o all_o my_o impertinency_n and_o roaving_n may_v always_o be_v of_o this_o kind_n and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n may_v not_o permit_v that_o i_o may_v ever_o vary_v one_o hair_n breadth_n from_o he_o but_o rather_o that_o i_o may_v be_v consume_v even_o in_o this_o moment_n for_o it_o may_v well_o be_v sufficient_a for_o i_o to_o have_v observe_v and_o discern_v his_o great_a mercy_n not_o once_o but_o often_o in_o that_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o pardon_v so_o great_a a_o ingratitude_n as_o i_o he_o pardon_v s._n peter_n once_o but_o i_o often_o so_o that_o the_o devil_n have_v some_o kind_n of_o reason_n to_o tempt_v i_o as_o hope_v that_o i_o will_v not_o pretend_v to_o hold_v straight_a friendship_n with_o one_o with_o who_o i_o have_v be_v in_o so_o public_a enmity_n but_o how_o great_a o_o lord_n be_v this_o blindness_n of_o i_o for_o where_o can_v i_o ever_o think_v o_o my_o lord_n to_o find_v any_o remedy_n but_o by_o thou_o what_o a_o senseless_a kind_n of_o folly_n be_v it_o for_o i_o to_o fly_v from_o the_o light_n that_o so_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o go_v stumbling-on_a in_o the_o dark_a what_o a_o foolish_a kind_n of_o proud_a humility_n be_v that_o which_o the_o devil_n invent_v for_o i_o when_o he_o persuade_v i_o to_o depart_v from_o lean_v against_o that_o staff_n and_o pillar_n prayer_n which_o may_v support_v i_o that_o so_o my_o fall_n may_v not_o be_v so_o great_a at_o this_o instant_n do_v i_o bless_v myself_o with_o the_o cross_n for_o i_o think_v i_o never_o pass_v a_o danger_n so_o very_o hazardous_a in_o my_o whole_a life_n as_o this_o invention_n be_v which_o the_o devil_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o teach_v i_o by_o way_n of_o humility_n for_o he_o put_v it_o into_o my_o conceit_n to_o think_v how_o it_o can_v be_v possible_a that_o so_o wicked_a a_o thing_n as_o
which_o i_o feel_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a yea_o and_o that_o many_o time_n it_o be_v such_o that_o i_o can_v not_o avoid_v it_o though_o yet_o withal_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o see_v cause_n of_o very_o great_a security_n that_o it_o be_v god_n especial_o when_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n and_o i_o find_v also_o that_o i_o be_v much_o better_v by_o it_o and_o still_o remain_v with_o more_o strength_n of_o mind_n towards_o virtue_n but_o yet_o whensoever_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v a_o little_a divert_v i_o return_v again_o to_o fear_n whether_o the_o devil_n may_v not_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v i_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v good_a for_o i_o to_o suspend_v the_o use_n of_o my_o understanding_n and_o so_o deprive_v myself_o of_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o think_v upon_o the_o passion_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n nor_o to_o serve_v myself_o as_o i_o be_v say_v of_o my_o understanding_n part_n which_o seem_v to_o i_o a_o very_a great_a inconvenience_n but_o now_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v already_o to_o give_v i_o light_n to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o and_o may_v also_o grow_v able_a to_o know_v how_o much_o i_o owe_v he_o for_o this_o goodness_n this_o fear_n come_v now_o to_o increase_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o put_v i_o upon_o a_o diligent_a director_n search_n after_o some_o person_n of_o spirit_n with_o who_o i_o may_v communicate_v my_o affair_n and_o already_o i_o have_v get_v notice_n of_o some_o for_o by_o this_o time_n they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n be_v come_v hither_o to_o which_o order_n though_o i_o yet_o know_v no_o one_o of_o they_o i_o be_v very_o affectionate_a upon_o the_o only_o reason_n of_o my_o understanding_n what_o kind_n of_o life_n they_o lead_v and_o what_o prayer_n they_o use_v but_o i_o find_v not_o myself_o worthy_a enough_o to_o speak_v with_o they_o nor_o constant_a and_o strong_a enough_o to_o obey_v they_o and_o this_o give_v i_o yet_o great_a fear_n for_o in_o fine_a to_o treat_v with_o they_o and_o yet_o to_o continue_v still_o what_o i_o be_v represent_v itself_o to_o i_o as_o a_o odd_a and_o ill-favoured_a business_n in_o these_o cogitation_n of_o i_o do_v i_o pass_v some_o time_n till_o now_o by_o the_o much_o battery_n which_o i_o make_v upon_o myself_o and_o through_o the_o fear_n to_o which_o still_o i_o be_v subject_a i_o resolve_v to_o treat_v with_o one_o who_o be_v a_o spiritual_a person_n and_o to_o ask_v he_o what_o kind_n of_o prayer_n that_o be_v which_o i_o use_v and_o to_o desire_v he_o to_o give_v i_o light_n if_o he_o find_v i_o to_o be_v in_o error_n and_o i_o resolve_v to_o use_v all_o possible_a diligence_n not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n for_o the_o want_n which_o i_o find_v in_o myself_o of_o courage_n do_v continue_v i_o still_o in_o my_o fear_n o_o my_o dear_a god_n &_o how_o great_a a_o deceit_n and_o error_n be_v this_o in_o i_o to_o separate_v myself_o from_o good_a that_o so_o i_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v good_a the_o devil_n it_o seem_v be_v willing_a to_o labour_n much_o upon_o this_o point_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o our_o aspire_n to_o virtue_n for_o i_o can_v not_o in_o fine_a conquer_v myself_o herein_o he_o well_o know_v that_o the_o mean_n of_o do_v good_a to_o a_o soul_n consist_v in_o that_o she_o resolve_v to_o confer_v in_o particular_a manner_n with_o such_o as_o be_v the_o friend_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o therefore_o i_o will_v never_o set_v any_o time_n to_o resolve_v upon_o this_o i_o expect_v to_o reform_v myself_o first_o as_o i_o have_v also_o do_v before_o when_o i_o leave_v my_o prayer_n and_o perhaps_o i_o shall_v never_o have_v go_v through_o with_o it_o for_o i_o be_v already_o decline_v so_o low_a towards_o certain_a little_a thing_n of_o ill_a custom_n and_o consequence_n which_o yet_o in_o fine_a i_o will_v not_o conclude_v to_o be_v ill_a that_o i_o be_v in_o need_n to_o be_v assist_v by_o some_o 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of_o almighty_a god_n the_o benefit_n do_v very_o evident_o appear_v &_o if_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n yet_o he_o can_v do_v i_o no_o hurt_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o will_v be_v put_v to_o sit_v down_o with_o loss_n if_o i_o shall_v procure_v to_o please_v almighty_a god_n and_o not_o offend_v he_o at_o all_o and_o now_o have_v resolve_v upon_o this_o and_o ever_o humble_o pray_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o he_o will_v assist_v i_o and_o take_v the_o same_o course_n several_a day_n i_o yet_o find_v that_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o strength_n enough_o all_o alone_a to_o go_v through_o with_o the_o obtain_n so_o great_a perfection_n in_o regard_n of_o some_o inclination_n and_o like_v which_o i_o carry_v to_o certain_a thing_n which_o howsoever_o they_o be_v not_o very_o ill_a of_o themselves_o yet_o they_o serve_v the_o turn_n to_o spoil_v all_o they_o tell_v i_o then_o of_o a_o certain_a priest_n in_o this_o place_n who_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n and_o who_o virtue_n and_o good_a 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lord_n through_o his_o goodness_n make_v i_o see_v it_o and_o show_v it_o i_o in_o a_o certain_a rapt_v of_o i_o so_o also_o shall_v it_o be_v here_o in_o this_o world_n and_o that_o so_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o soul_n may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v one_o another_o and_o that_o upon_o this_o sole_a cause_n and_o reason_n in_o regard_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v do_v so_o without_o any_o other_o artifice_n or_o mean_n that_o so_o the_o mutual_a love_n which_o these_o two_o dear_a friend_n carry_v to_o one_o another_o may_v be_v give_v by_o they_o to_o be_v mutual_o understand_v just_o so_o as_o in_o this_o world_n when_o two_o person_n love_v one_o another_o very_o dear_o and_o be_v endue_v with_o a_o good_a understanding_n and_o wit_n they_o seem_v able_a to_o understand_v themselves_o together_o even_o without_o so_o much_o as_o sign_n and_o by_o only_a look_v well_o upon_o one_o another_o thus_o ought_v it_o to_o be_v in_o our_o 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have_v proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n even_o with_o i_o and_o advance_v i_o to_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o you_o see_v consider_v also_o that_o this_o which_o i_o be_o say_v now_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o a_o little_a cipher_n of_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v say_v but_o only_o so_o much_o be_v here_o deliver_v as_o be_v necessary_a for_o the_o give_v this_o manner_n of_o vision_n and_o favour_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o do_v to_o a_o soul_n to_o be_v in_o some_o sort_n understand_v but_o now_o it_o be_v in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o to_o declare_v that_o which_o she_o find_v and_o feel_v when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v those_o secret_n and_o greatness_n of_o he_o together_o with_o that_o delight_n which_o be_v so_o high_o superior_a to_o all_o those_o other_o which_o can_v possible_o be_v impart_v by_o this_o world_n and_o that_o they_o do_v with_o a_o mighty_a deal_n of_o reason_n make_v they_o who_o possess_v the_o same_o even_o abhor_v all_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o earth_n which_o when_o they_o be_v all_o clap_v together_o be_v no_o better_o then_o mere_a dung_n and_o dirt_n nay_o it_o be_v after_o a_o sort_n even_o to_o give_v one_o a_o vomit_n to_o bring_v these_o into_o any_o comparison_n at_o all_o with_o those_o other_o even_o though_o they_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o last_v for_o ever_o and_o yet_o of_o these_o celestial_a joy_n what_o kind_n of_o poor_a proportion_n of_o they_o be_v that_o which_o he_o be_v please_v to_o impart_v in_o this_o world_n no_o more_o then_o as_o it_o be_v one_o slight_a single_a drop_n of_o water_n of_o that_o huge_a full_a flow_a river_n which_o be_v prepare_v for_o we_o in_o heaven_n it_o be_v a_o very_a shame_n &_o scorn_n and_o real_o i_o employ_v it_o all_o against_o myself_o and_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o soul_n to_o be_v affront_v even_o in_o heaven_n i_o shall_v have_v cause_n to_o find_v myself_o ashamed_a when_o i_o be_v there_o more_o than_o any_o creature_n to_o think_v that_o we_o shall_v expect_v to_o enjoy_v protestant_n so_o great_a benediction_n and_o delight_n and_o glory_n as_o be_v to_o be_v infinite_a in_o that_o next_o life_n and_o all_o at_o the_o only_o cost_v of_o our_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n and_o shall_v we_o not_o weep_v perhaps_o at_o least_o with_o the_o daughter_n of_o jerusalem_n since_o we_o will_v hot_a help_v he_o to_o carry_v the_o cross_n as_o simon_n cyreneus_n do_v or_o can_v we_o ever_o think_v of_o come_v to_o enjoy_v that_o by_o the_o way_n and_o mean_n of_o pleasure_n and_o pass-time_n which_o he_o vouchsafe_v to_o get_v and_o gain_v for_o we_o upon_o the_o price_n of_o his_o own_o most_o precious_a blood_n this_o be_v absolute_o impossible_a and_o can_v we_o think_v by_o our_o aspire_n to_o vain_a honour_n that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o remedy_n and_o redress_v that_o huge_a contempt_n and_o scorn_v which_o he_o endure_v for_o we_o there_o be_v no_o manner_n of_o sense_n in_o any_o such_o conceit_n no_o no_o the_o course_n be_v utter_o mistake_v and_o we_o shall_v never_o be_v able_a to_o arrive_v at_o that_o journey_n end_n by_o any_o such_o erroneous_a way_n as_o this_o your_o reverence_n must_v cry-out_a aloud_o to_o make_v these_o truth_n be_v hear_v and_o believe_v by_o the_o world_n and_o since_o it_o have_v please_v almighty_a god_n to_o take_v this_o power_n and_o liberty_n from_o i_o i_o will_v always_o be_v cry_v they_o out_o to_o myself_o but_o both_o he_o hear_v i_o and_o i_o come_v also_o to_o understand_v he_o so_o very_o late_o as_o may_v be_v see_v by_o what_o i_o have_v write_v here_o and_o it_o be_v no_o less_o than_o matter_n of_o extreme_a confusion_n to_o i_o to_o speak_v of_o it_o and_o therefore_o i_o will_v now_o hold_v my_o peace_n and_o for_o the_o present_a will_v only_o say_v that_o which_o i_o have_v be_v consider_v sometime_o which_o be_v that_o i_o humble_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n to_o bring_v i_o once_o to_o such_o term_n as_o that_o i_o may_v enjoy_v 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the_o very_a first_o by_o experience_n which_o be_v indeed_o the_o only_o thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v need_v at_o that_o time_n for_o then_o i_o can_v not_o give_v myself_o so_o well_o to_o be_v understand_v as_o now_o i_o can_v at_o least_o not_o so_o far_o as_o to_o express_v it_o home_o for_o since_o that_o time_n it_o have_v please_v our_o lord_n to_o enable_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o to_o declare_v to_o i_o the_o favour_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v i_o but_o former_o it_o be_v necessary_a enough_o for_o i_o to_o find_v a_o person_n who_o have_v pass_v through_o the_o same_o thing_n by_o experience_n if_o i_o will_v hope_v that_o he_o shall_v perfect_o understand_v i_o and_o declare_v to_o i_o what_o every_o thing_n be_v now_o this_o father_n give_v i_o very_o great_a light_n for_o i_o can_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n understand_v what_o that_o can_v be_v which_o concern_v those_o vision_n which_o be_v not_o imaginary_a or_o represent_v by_o the_o imagination_n and_o i_o think_v also_o that_o i_o understand_v as_o little_a of_o those_o other_o which_o i_o see_v with_o the_o only_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n for_o as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o those_o only_a which_o be_v visible_a by_o our_o corporeal_a eye_n seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v indeed_o of_o importance_n and_o of_o these_o i_o have_v receive_v none_o at_o all_o but_o now_o this_o holy_a man_n give_v i_o light_n in_o all_o and_o declare_v it_o to_o i_o and_o require_v i_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v any_o long_o but_o that_o i_o shall_v bless_v and_o praise_v almighty_a god_n and_o that_o i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o sure_a that_o these_o be_v true_a effect_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o that_o although_o it_o be_v no_o article_n of_o faith_n yet_o nothing_o can_v be_v more_o certain_o true_a nor_o which_o i_o may_v more_o firm_o believe_v and_o he_o comfort_v himself_o very_o much_o with_o i_o and_o show_v i_o all_o courtesy_n and_o favour_n and_o ever_o after_o he_o have_v great_a care_n of_o i_o and_o 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it_o vet_n but_o as_o for_o he_o he_o have_v extraordinary_a compassion_n of_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o one_o of_o the_o very_o great_a affliction_n of_o this_o life_n be_v that_o which_o i_o have_v endure_v namely_o the_o opposition_n and_o contradiction_n of_o good_a man_n and_o that_o still_o i_o will_v be_v a_o little_a obnoxious_a in_o the_o same_o kind_n because_o i_o must_v ever_o be_v in_o need_n of_o help_n and_o that_o he_o fear_v there_o be_v no_o body_n in_o that_o city_n who_o will_v understand_v i_o but_o that_o he_o will_v speak_v with_o my_o ghostly_a father_n &_o to_o one_o also_o of_o those_o other_o who_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o most_o discomfort_n which_o be_v that_o marry_v cavallier_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o for_o he_o as_o be_v a_o person_n who_o love_v i_o perhaps_o more_o than_o the_o rest_n do_v continual_o make_v war_n upon_o i_o and_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o a_o tender_a and_o holy_a soul_n and_o consider_v how_o late_o before_o he_o have_v find_v how_o wicked_a i_o be_v he_o know_v not_o how_o to_o make_v himself_o sure_a that_o all_o be_v right_a but_o now_o the_o holle_fw-ge man_n fray_n pedro_n grow_v to_o talk_v with_o those_o two_o person_n afforesayd_a and_o he_o show_v they_o cause_n and_o reason_n why_o they_o shall_v both_o quiet_a and_o assure_v themselves_o and_o disturb_v i_o no_o more_o as_o for_o my_o ghostly_a father_n there_o be_v no_o very_a great_a need_n of_o much_o diligence_n but_o as_o for_o the_o cavalier_n it_o suffice_v not_o for_o he_o to_o hear_v what_o fray_n pedro_n say_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v a_o mean_n to_o keep_v he_o from_o fright_v i_o so_o very_o much_o as_o he_o have_v do_v before_o but_o then_o we_o resolve_v together_o that_o i_o shall_v write_v to_o fray_n pedro_n of_o all_o that_o which_o may_v succeed_v to_o i_o afterward_o and_o to_o recommend_v one_o another_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n for_o so_o great_a be_v his_o humility_n as_o to_o make_v some_o little_a account_n of_o the_o prayer_n of_o this_o miserable_a creature_n which_o give_v i_o confusion_n enough_o but_o he_o leave_v i_o with_o extreme_a comfort_n and_o gust_n and_o direct_v i_o to_o proceed_v secure_o on_o with_o my_o prayer_n and_o to_o make_v no_o doubt_n at_o all_o but_o that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o whensoever_o i_o may_v be_v in_o any_o doubt_n for_o my_o own_o great_a security_n i_o shall_v impart_v whatsoever_o occur_v to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o then_o i_o shall_v hold_v myself_o for_o safe_a but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o counsel_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o be_v entire_o secure_a because_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o guide_v i_o still_o by_o the_o way_n of_o fear_n which_o sometime_o make_v i_o apt_a to_o doubt_v that_o the_o devil_n have_v a_o hand_n in_o the_o business_n whensoever_o they_o will_v needs_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v so_o and_o thus_o indeed_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n no_o creature_n be_v able_a to_o give_v i_o either_o so_o much_o security_n or_o so_o much_o fear_n as_o to_o make_v i_o yield_v more_o credit_n to_o either_o of_o they_o than_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o infuse_v into_o my_o soul_n so_o that_o howsoever_o this_o holy_a man_n do_v help_v i_o both_o to_o quiet_a and_o comfort_n yet_o do_v i_o not_o so_o entire_o believe_v he_o as_o to_o remain_v without_o any_o fear_n at_o all_o especial_o when_o our_o lord_n come_v sometime_o to_o leave_v i_o in_o certain_a trouble_n of_o mind_n which_o i_o shall_v instant_o relate_v yet_o howsoever_o as_o i_o be_v say_v my_o comfort_n be_v then_o much_o increase_v but_o i_o can_v not_o then_o satisfy_v myself_o with_o give_v humble_a thanks_n enough_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o that_o glorious_a father_n of_o i_o s._n joseph_n who_o as_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v have_v bring_v fray_n pedro_n thither_o for_o he_o be_v commissarie_n general_n of_o the_o custodia_fw-la of_o s._n joseph_n to_o who_o as_o also_o to_o our_o b._n lady_n i_o use_v to_o recommend_v myself_o much_o now_o it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o former_o sometime_o yea_o and_o so_o it_o do_v also_o yet_o though_o not_o so_o often_o to_o find_v myself_o in_o so_o excessive_a trouble_n and_o affliction_n of_o mind_n together_o with_o fierce_a infirmity_n affliction_n and_o torment_n of_o body_n that_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v be_v subject_a to_o corporal_a misery_n which_o be_v more_o grievous_a but_o yet_o not_o find_v myself_o subject_a then_o to_o the_o sense_n of_o such_o sorrow_n of_o mind_n as_o now_o i_o have_v i_o pass_v with_o much_o alacrity_n through_o they_o all_o but_o whensoever_o they_o of_o both_o kind_n come_v together_o the_o misery_n of_o it_o be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o it_o give_v i_o affliction_n enough_o and_o as_o for_o those_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o i_o then_o forget_v they_o all_o and_o there_o only_o remain_v but_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o memory_n of_o they_o as_o of_o a_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v dream_v and_o this_o serve_v but_o to_o give_v i_o so_o much_o the_o more_o pain_n for_o the_o understanding_n grow_v in_o those_o case_n to_o be_v all_o obscure_v and_o dull_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o make_v i_o enter_v into_o a_o thousand_o suspicion_n trouble_n and_o doubt_n as_o if_o i_o have_v not_o former_o understand_v thing_n well_o and_o that_o perhaps_o i_o follow_v fancy_n in_o stead_n of_o truth_n and_o that_o it_o may_v have_v be_v misery_n enough_o for_o i_o to_o be_v deceive_v myself_o without_o seek_v
may_v hope_v from_o those_o terrible_a and_o perpetual_a torment_n since_o that_o time_n as_o i_o be_v say_v there_o be_v nothing_o which_o seem_v not_o easy_a to_o i_o in_o comparison_n of_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v suffer_v there_o and_o i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a wonder_n that_o have_v so_o often_o read_v diverse_a book_n which_o give_v i_o some_o notice_n of_o a_o part_n of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n i_o fear_v they_o so_o little_a and_o hold_v they_o in_o so_o small_a account_n consider_v in_o what_o case_n i_o be_v then_o and_o how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o receive_v contentment_n in_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o final_o be_v to_o carry_v i_o on_o to_o so_o wretched_a a_o place_n as_o that_o be_v be_v thou_o eternal_o bless_v o_o my_o god_n for_o how_o well_o have_v thou_o make_v it_o appear_v that_o thou_o love_v i_o incomparable_o better_a than_o i_o do_v myself_o how_o often_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n have_v thou_o deliver_v i_o from_o that_o dark_a and_o horrible_a dungeon_n and_o how_o often_o have_v i_o return_v to_o cast_v myself_o in_o thither_o again_o even_o against_o thy_o will_n from_o hence_o also_o i_o get_v a_o facility_n to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a pain_n for_o the_o many_o soul_n of_o these_o lutheran_n which_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o especial_o because_o they_o have_v once_o be_v member_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n by_o their_o baptism_n i_o gain_v also_o great_a impulse_n to_o do_v good_a to_o soul_n and_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o for_o the_o save_n of_o any_o of_o they_o from_o so_o grievous_a and_o everlasting_a torment_n i_o can_v suffer_v many_o death_n with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n for_o i_o consider_v that_o if_o we_o see_v a_o person_n in_o this_o world_n who_o we_o love_v undergo_v any_o great_a affliction_n or_o pain_n it_o seem_v that_o even_o our_o natural_a disposition_n invite_v we_o to_o have_v compassion_n of_o the_o case_n and_o so_o much_o as_o that_o pain_n be_v great_a so_o much_o the_o more_o and_o therefore_o now_o to_o see_v a_o soul_n which_o be_v for_o ever_o to_o be_v enchain_v to_o the_o endure_v of_o that_o supreme_a affliction_n and_o misery_n of_o all_o misery_n who_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o hart_n can_v ever_o brook_v it_o without_o strange_a trouble_n and_o since_o we_o be_v move_v here_o to_o so_o much_o compassion_n of_o man_n who_o misery_n have_v yet_o a_o term_n prefix_v and_o at_o the_o further_a they_o be_v to_o end_v with_o their_o life_n how_o shall_v we_o be_v able_a to_o get_v patience_n for_o think_v of_o the_o infinite_a torment_n of_o those_o other_o consider_v what_o a_o huge_a number_n of_o soul_n the_o devil_n be_v daily_o carry_v into_o hell_n this_o consideration_n also_o make_v i_o desire_v that_o in_o a_o business_n of_o so_o mighty_a importance_n we_o may_v not_o be_v satisfy_v with_o less_o than_o the_o do_v of_o the_o very_a uttermost_a we_o can_v on_o our_o part_n and_o that_o we_o leave_v nothing_o at_o all_o unattempted_a to_o secure_v ourselves_o by_o that_o mean_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o give_v we_o all_o his_o grace_n for_o this_o purpose_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o howsoever_o i_o be_v former_o most_o wicked_a yet_o have_v i_o some_o little_a care_n to_o ferue_v almighty_a god_n not_o yet_o do_v i_o then_o commit_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v take_v and_o swallow_v down_o by_o the_o world_n as_o familiar_o as_o to_o turn_v the_o hand_n and_o with_o this_o i_o endure_v huge_a sickness_n and_o i_o do_v it_o with_o that_o great_a patience_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o for_o that_o purpose_n and_o i_o be_v also_o not_o incline_v to_o murmur_v and_o detract_v or_o to_o speak_v hardly_o of_o any_o creature_n nay_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o scarce_o have_v power_n to_o with_o any_o body_n any_o ill_n nor_o be_v i_o covetous_a nor_o envious_a for_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v ever_o remember_v at_o least_o to_o any_o such_o proportion_n as_o may_v result_v to_o the_o great_a offence_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o some_o other_o thing_n also_o there_o be_v wherein_o though_o i_o be_v very_o wicked_a i_o have_v usual_o the_o fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n before_o i_o and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o i_o see_v where_o the_o devil_n 471._o have_v take_v up_o and_o provide_v my_o lodging_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o consider_v what_o my_o fault_n have_v be_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o yet_o deserve_v more_o punishment_n but_o howsoever_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o most_o horrible_a torment_n and_o and_o that_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v take_v contentment_n and_o be_v at_o rest_n which_o be_v fall_v every_o minute_n into_o mortal_a sinne._n nay_o rather_o for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n let_v we_o remove_v all_o the_o occasion_n thereof_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v help_v we_o all_o as_o he_o have_v do_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n not_o to_o give_v over_o to_o hold_v i_o fast_o in_o his_o hand_n least_z if_o he_o do_v i_o return_v to_o fall_v for_o in_o that_o case_n i_o see_v already_o what_o be_v to_o become_v of_o i_o for_o ever_o but_o i_o beseech_v our_o b._n lord_n again_o not_o to_o suffer_v it_o even_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n amen_n but_o now_o after_o my_o see_v all_o this_o as_o also_o many_o other_o great_a thing_n and_o secret_n which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o own_o mercy_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o concern_v the_o glory_n which_o be_v design_v in_o the_o next_o life_n for_o the_o good_a and_o the_o torment_n for_o the_o wicked_a and_o i_o procure_v now_o to_o light_v upon_o some_o way_n or_o mean_n whereby_o i_o may_v do_v penance_n for_o so_o much_o ill_a as_o i_o have_v commit_v and_o may_v be_v able_a also_o to_o do_v somewhat_o towards_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_a i_o desire_v even_o to_o fly_v out_o of_o the_o sight_n of_o mankind_n and_o now_o at_o length_n once_o for_o all_o to_o divide_v myself_o from_o the_o world_n and_o to_o part_v from_o it_o and_o my_o hart_n will_v now_o be_v quiet_a no_o long_o but_o yet_o be_v not_o that_o disquiet_n of_o i_o any_o troublesome_a kind_n of_o thing_n but_o rather_o of_o contentment_n and_o gust_n and_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o it_o come_v from_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v heat_n enough_o to_o this_o soul_n of_o i_o for_o the_o digest_v of_o other_o and_o strong_a meat_n than_o she_o have_v former_o take_v cause_n and_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v what_o i_o may_v possible_o he_o able_a to_o do_v for_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o first_o thing_n i_o think_v be_v to_o follow_v that_o first_o call_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v i_o to_o lead_v a_o religious_a life_n and_o that_o by_o the_o observance_n of_o my_o rule_n with_o the_o great_a perfection_n that_o i_o can_v practice_v and_o though_o there_o be_v in_o the_o monastery_n wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n many_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o who_o he_o be_v very_o much_o serve_v in_o that_o place_n yet_o in_o regard_n they_o want_v temporal_a mean_n many_o of_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v cast_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o necessity_n to_o go_v abroad_o sometime_o for_o relief_n of_o the_o house_n but_o yet_o they_o do_v it_o so_o as_o to_o pass_v with_o all_o kind_n of_o chastity_n and_o piety_n and_o beside_o that_o house_n be_v not_o found_v according_a to_o the_o first_o rigour_n of_o the_o rule_n but_o only_o the_o same_o rule_n be_v observe_v in_o conformity_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o order_n according_a to_o the_o bull_n of_o relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n there_o be_v also_o some_o other_o inconvenience_n and_o beside_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o place_n be_v of_o much_o regalo_n in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v both_o large_a and_o pleasant_a but_o especial_o the_o inconvenience_n of_o go_v sometime_o out_o of_o the_o monastery_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o very_a great_a one_o for_o i_o though_o former_o i_o have_v be_v one_o who_o make_v most_o familiar_a use_n of_o it_o myself_o in_o regard_n that_o sometime_o some_o person_n who_o the_o superior_n be_v importune_v can_v not_o well_o refuse_v take_v contentment_n that_o i_o shall_v accompany_v they_o who_o go_v abroad_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n according_a to_o the_o use_n which_o be_v hold_v i_o may_v grow_v by_o degree_n to_o remain_v very_o
too_o much_o if_o any_o such_o thing_n can_v be_v find_v in_o it_o as_o may_v put_v i_o into_o any_o fear_n of_o the_o inquisition_n that_o if_o i_o think_v there_o be_v any_o ground_n or_o cause_n myself_o will_v be_v the_o first_o to_o go_v thither_o and_o that_o if_o it_o be_v a_o slander_n raise_v up_o against_o i_o our_o lord_n will_v deliver_v i_o from_o it_o and_o i_o shall_v prove_v the_o gainer_n by_o that_o bargain_n now_o i_o treat_v of_o this_o matter_n with_o the_o dominican_n father_n who_o as_o i_o say_v be_v so_o very_o learned_a a_o man_n that_o i_o may_v well_o assure_v myself_o upon_o whatsoever_o he_o shall_v declare_v to_o i_o herein_o and_o i_o tell_v he_o then_o upon_o this_o occasion_n with_o the_o great_a clearness_n that_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v of_o all_o the_o vision_n which_o i_o have_v have_v and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o prayer_n which_o i_o have_v use_v and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o pray_v he_o to_o consider_v all_o these_o thing_n very_o well_o and_o to_o let_v i_o understand_v if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o in_o any_o of_o they_o against_o holy_a scripture_n and_o that_o also_o he_o will_v acquaint_v i_o with_o the_o judgement_n which_o he_o make_v thereof_o now_o all_o this_o he_o do_v and_o so_o settle_v and_o secure_v i_o very_o much_o and_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v also_o of_o opinion_n that_o this_o accident_n be_v of_o much_o advantage_n even_o to_o he_o for_o though_o he_o be_v former_o very_o good_a yet_o he_o give_v himself_o much_o more_o to_o prayer_n from_o that_o time_n forward_o and_o withdraw_v himself_o to_o a_o certain_a retire_a monastery_n of_o his_o own_o order_n which_o be_v a_o place_n of_o great_a solitude_n and_o silence_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o he_o may_v exercise_v himself_o the_o better_a in_o prayer_n he_o remain_v there_o above_o two_o year_n and_o then_o obedience_n to_o his_o order_n take_v he_o from_o thence_o for_o which_o he_o be_v sorry_a enough_o but_o they_o have_v need_n of_o such_o a_o man_n as_o he_o be_v &_o i_o be_v no_o less_o grieve_v when_o he_o go_v from_o i_o through_o the_o great_a want_n which_o i_o be_v sure_a i_o shall_v have_v of_o he_o though_o yet_o i_o know_v withal_o that_o he_o will_v be_v a_o gainer_n by_o it_o and_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o pain_n about_o his_o journey_n our_o lord_n bid_v i_o be_v comfort_v and_o not_o trouble_v for_o that_o he_o go_v away_o to_o good_a purpose_n and_o indeed_o he_o come_v back_o again_o afterward_o with_o his_o soul_n so_o well_o improve_v and_o advance_v in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n that_o himself_o tell_v i_o at_o his_o return_n how_o he_o will_v not_o for_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n but_o that_o he_o have_v go_v and_o i_o also_o can_v say_v the_o same_o for_o whereas_o he_o have_v former_o give_v i_o assurance_n and_o comfort_n but_o only_o by_o his_o letter_n he_o be_v now_o grow_v able_a to_o do_v it_o also_o through_o the_o great_a experience_n which_o he_o be_v come_v to_o have_v in_o spirit_n and_o of_o supernatural_a thing_n and_o it_o also_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o bring_v he_o back_o to_o we_o at_o such_o a_o time_n as_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n see_v that_o there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o he_o for_o assist_v his_o work_n concern_v this_o monastery_n which_o his_o will_n be_v shall_v go_v forward_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v in_o silence_n for_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o five_o or_o six_o month_n not_o hear_v or_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o this_o business_n nor_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n command_v i_o any_o thing_n about_o it_o nor_o understand_v i_o the_o reason_n thereof_o but_o yet_o still_o i_o can_v not_o part_v with_o the_o beleif_n but_o that_o the_o business_n will_v be_v do_v soon_o or_o late_a but_o at_o the_o end_n of_o that_o time_n aforesaid_a the_o rectour_n of_o the_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o have_v be_v there_o till_o then_o be_v now_o to_o remove_v from_o hence_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bring_v another_o to_o be_v in_o his_o place_n who_o be_v a_o very_a spiritual_a person_n and_o of_o great_a courage_n and_o understanding_n and_o learning_n and_o he_o come_v at_o a_o certain_a time_n when_o i_o be_v in_o very_o great_a need_n of_o help_n for_o in_o regard_n that_o he_o who_o be_v my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v a_o superior_a over_o himself_o and_o by_o reason_n that_o they_o have_v this_o virtue_n in_o perfection_n not_o so_o much_o as_o once_o to_o stir_v but_o in_o conformity_n to_o the_o will_n of_o their_o superior_n and_o though_o this_o ghostly_a father_n of_o i_o have_v a_o very_a good_a understanding_n of_o my_o spirit_n and_o desire_v that_o i_o may_v profit_v &_o proceed_v he_o yet_o adventure_v not_o to_o conclude_v some_o thing_n with_o a_o firm_a resolution_n for_o diverse_a reason_n which_o he_o have_v for_o it_o and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n my_o spirit_n do_v press_v already_o to_o pass_v on_o with_o certain_a impulse_n and_o impetuosity_n which_o be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o find_v it_o a_o very_a troublesome_a thing_n to_o be_v tie_v short_a and_o yet_o for_o all_o this_o i_o resolve_v not_o to_o exceed_v those_o bound_n at_o all_o which_o he_o have_v prescribe_v and_o be_v one_o day_n in_o much_o affliction_n as_o conceave_a that_o my_o ghostly_a father_n do_v not_o believe_v i_o it_o please_v our_o b._n lord_n to_o require_v i_o not_o to_o trouble_v myself_o affirm_v that_o that_o difficulty_n will_v be_v soon_o at_o a_o end_n for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v much_o joy_v by_o this_o as_o conceave_a that_o i_o be_v quick_o to_o die_v and_o i_o be_v wont_n particular_o to_o rejoice_v when_o i_o remember_v it_o but_o afterward_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o his_o speech_n concern_v the_o come_n of_o this_o new_a rectour_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v and_o afterward_o i_o never_o have_v any_o occasion_n to_o be_v in_o pain_n in_o regard_n that_o this_o say_v new_a rectour_n contradict_v not_o the_o sub-rectour_a who_o be_v my_o confessarius_fw-la but_o rather_o man_n direct_v he_o to_o give_v i_o comfort_n and_o scope_n and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n of_o fear_n and_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o such_o straight_a &_o narrow_a way_n and_o with_o such_o restriction_n but_o shall_v permit_v the_o spirit_n of_o our_o lord_n to_o work_v in_o i_o for_o indeed_o at_o some_o time_n it_o seem_v that_o by_o reason_n of_o those_o great_a impetuosity_n of_o spirit_n the_o soul_n have_v scarce_o room_n for_o so_o much_o as_o to_o breath_n i_o go_v then_o to_o visit_v this_o rectour_n and_o my_o ghostly_a father_n require_v i_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o with_o all_o liberty_n and_o clearness_n as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o find_v very_o great_a difficulty_n to_o declare_v myself_o in_o that_o kind_n but_o yet_o real_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o even_o at_o my_o very_a first_o entrance_n into_o the_o confessionarie_n i_o feel_v a_o kind_n of_o i_o can_v tell_v what_o to_o call_v it_o in_o my_o spirit_n which_o i_o remember_v not_o myself_o to_o have_v ever_o find_v by_o occasion_n of_o any_o creature_n either_o before_o or_o after_o nor_o can_v i_o distinct_o tell_v how_o it_o be_v nor_o yet_o be_o i_o able_a to_o express_v it_o full_o by_o any_o way_n of_o comparison_n but_o it_o be_v a_o certain_a spiritual_a joy_n and_o a_o kind_n of_o understanding_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v that_o the_o soul_n of_o that_o man_n will_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v i_o and_o that_o there_o will_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o conformity_n in_o judgement_n between_o we_o two_o although_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o understand_v not_o how_o if_o indeed_o i_o have_v ever_o speak_v with_o he_o before_o or_o if_o other_o have_v peradventure_o give_v i_o any_o great_a news_n of_o the_o man_n it_o have_v not_o be_v very_o strange_a that_o it_o shall_v joy_v i_o when_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v to_o hear_v i_o but_o neither_o he_o nor_o i_o have_v ever_o speak_v word_n to_o one_o another_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o one_o by_o who_o mean_n i_o have_v ever_o have_v any_o notice_n at_o all_o of_o he_o and_o yet_o since_o that_o time_n i_o have_v see_v very_o well_o that_o my_o spirit_n deceive_v i_o not_o because_o it_o have_v be_v of_o great_a advantage_n in_o all_o kind_n both_o to_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o for_o his_o kind_n of_o conversation_n and_o way_n of_o conference_n and_o communication_n be_v a_o thing_n of_o great_a importance_n for_o such_o person_n as_o
whilst_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o that_o condition_n i_o be_v apparel_v with_o a_o certain_a lord_n garment_n of_o much_o whiteness_n and_o clearness_n and_o at_o the_o first_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v who_o it_o be_v that_o clothe_v i_o but_o afterward_o i_o see_v our_o b._n lady_n on_o the_o right_a hand_n and_o my_o father_n s._n joseph_n on_o the_o left_a who_o apparel_v i_o then_o with_o that_o robe_n and_o it_o be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v that_o i_o be_v now_o grow_v to_o be_v cleanse_v from_o my_o sin_n when_o thus_o i_o be_v apparel_v and_o find_v myself_o full_a of_o joy_n and_o glory_n it_o instant_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o our_o b._n lady_n lay_v hold_v upon_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o content_v she_o much_o to_o see_v i_o serve_v the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n that_o i_o be_v to_o believe_v that_o what_o i_o pretend_v concern_v the_o monastery_n shall_v be_v effect_v and_o that_o our_o lord_n and_o they_o two_o will_v be_v much_o serve_v there_o that_o i_o must_v not_o be_v afraid_a that_o ever_o there_o will_v be_v any_o fail_v therein_o howsoever_o some_o commandment_n which_o may_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v impose_v upon_o i_o will_v not_o be_v according_a to_o my_o gust_n for_o even_o themselves_o in_o fine_a will_v defend_v and_o keep_v we_o that_o her_o son_n have_v already_o promise_v that_o he_o will_v be_v and_o remain_v with_o we_o and_o in_o testimony_n that_o all_o this_o shall_v prove_v true_a she_o cast_v a_o fair_a and_o bright_a chain_n of_o gold_n about_o my_o neck_n with_o a_o cross_n fasten_v to_o it_o of_o great_a value_n but_o this_o gold_n and_o these_o precious_a stone_n be_v so_o very_o different_a from_o those_o of_o this_o world_n that_o there_o be_v no_o manner_n of_o comparison_n between_o they_o for_o the_o beauty_n of_o these_o be_v far_o other_o than_o any_o thing_n which_o we_o can_v imagine_v here_o nor_o do_v humane_a understanding_n arrive_v to_o know_v of_o what_o the_o garment_n be_v make_v nor_o how_o to_o fancy_v that_o clear_a whiteness_n to_o itself_o which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o represent_v for_o all_o that_o of_o this_o inferior_a world_n be_v no_o better_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o scratch_n with_o a_o coal_n as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v in_o respect_n of_o the_o other_o the_o beauty_n also_o which_o i_o see_v in_o our_o b._n lady_n be_v excessive_a though_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o determine_v the_o form_n or_o figure_n of_o any_o particular_a part_n which_o i_o may_v assign_v she_o but_o only_o the_o frame_n and_o air_n of_o the_o whole_a face_n together_o she_o be_v apparel_v in_o white_a with_o excess_n of_o splendour_n but_o yet_o of_o no_o such_o kind_n as_o dazzle_v but_o most_o dear_o sweet_a as_o for_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n i_o see_v not_o he_o so_o clear_o though_o yet_o i_o well_o perceive_v that_o he_o be_v there_o like_o those_o vision_n whereof_o i_o speak_v which_o be_v not_o see_v our_o b._n lady_n be_v extraordinaty_o young_a and_o she_o remain_v with_o i_o a_o very_a little_a while_n and_o i_o have_v excessive_a glory_n and_o gust_n by_o it_o and_o more_o in_o my_o opinion_n than_o ever_o i_o have_v enjoy_v before_o and_o i_o will_v certain_o have_v be_v glad_a enough_o if_o i_o may_v never_o have_v leave_v it_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o see_v they_o both_o ascend_v to_o heaven_n with_o a_o very_a great_a multitude_n of_o angel_n and_o i_o the_o while_n remain_v in_o much_o solitude_n though_o yet_o withal_o so_o comfort_v and_o elevate_v and_o even_o dissolve_v and_o recollect_v in_o prayer_n that_o i_o remain_v for_o some_o space_n of_o time_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o not_o to_o be_v able_a either_o to_o speak_v or_o stir_v but_o i_o be_v whole_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o myself_o and_o i_o continue_v with_o a_o great_a impulse_n of_o desire_n to_o be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v for_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o find_v also_o such_o effect_n thereof_o and_o the_o whole_a passed-on_a in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o be_v never_o able_a though_o i_o endeavour_v much_o to_o doubt_v but_o that_o this_o visitation_n be_v of_o almighty_a god_n the_o queen_n of_o the_o angel_n leave_v i_o topp-full_a of_o comfort_n and_o of_o profound_a peace_n by_o what_o she_o say_v to_o i_o of_o obedience_n and_o the_o case_n be_v this_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v very_o unwilling_a not_o to_o give_v this_o house_n up_o to_o the_o order_n and_o indeed_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v not_o fit_a that_o they_o shall_v have_v it_o and_o he_o also_o deliver_v i_o the_o reason_n why_o it_o be_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n fit_a but_o that_o i_o shall_v send_v about_o it_o to_o rome_n by_o a_o certain_a way_n and_o he_o also_o make_v i_o know_v that_o he_o will_v cause_v it_o to_o be_v dispatch_v from_o thence_o and_o so_o it_o be_v and_o it_o be_v send_v by_o that_o very_a mean_n whereof_o our_o lord_n have_v tell_v i_o but_o we_o shall_v never_o have_v final_o be_v able_a to_o dispatch_v it_o of_o ourselves_o and_o upon_o the_o occasion_n which_o succeed_v afterward_o it_o be_v very_o fit_a that_o it_o shall_v be_v submit_v by_o way_n of_o obedience_n to_o the_o bishop_n yet_o then_o i_o know_v he_o not_o nor_o understand_v what_o kind_n of_o prelate_n he_o be_v but_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o he_o shall_v be_v so_o good_a and_o shall_v favour_v this_o house_n as_o much_o as_o be_v fit_a yea_o and_o even_o necessary_a for_o the_o encounter_v of_o that_o great_a contradiction_n which_o occur_v herein_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o and_o to_o put_v it_o into_o that_o state_n wherein_o now_o it_o be_v and_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v who_o have_v so_o dispose_v of_o all_o amen_n the_o four_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o declare_v how_o at_o this_o time_n she_o be_v necessary_o to_o go_v from_o that_o place_n and_o she_o show_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o how_o her_o superior_a command_v she_o to_o go_v for_o the_o comfort_n of_o a_o certain_a lady_n who_o be_v much_o afflict_v she_o begin_v to_o treat_v of_o that_o which_o happen_v to_o she_o there_o and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v by_o her_o mean_n in_o stirring-up_a a_o very_a principal_a person_n to_o do_v he_o great_a service_n and_o how_o afterward_o she_o receive_v much_o favour_n and_o protection_n from_o he_o this_o be_v a_o admirable_a discourse_n and_o very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v but_o notwithstanding_o all_o the_o care_n i_o take_v that_o man_n may_v not_o know_v what_o we_o be_v do_v this_o whole_a business_n can_v not_o be_v carry_v with_o so_o much_o secrecy_n but_o that_o many_o must_v needs_o understand_v it_o and_o some_o of_o they_o do_v believe_v it_o and_o other_o not_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v hearty_o afraid_a that_o if_o the_o provincial_n shall_v come_v and_o they_o chance_v to_o tell_v he_o of_o it_o he_o will_v command_v i_o to_o give_v it_o over_o and_o then_o the_o whole_a design_n will_v be_v at_o a_o end_n but_o our_o lord_n ordain_v thing_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o about_o à _fw-fr matter_n of_o twenty_o league_n off_o it_o occur_v that_o there_o be_v a_o certain_a lady_n very_o much_o afflict_v by_o the_o death_n of_o her_o husband_n and_o she_o find_v herself_o in_o such_o extremity_n thereby_o that_o her_o health_n be_v much_o concern_v and_o fear_v now_o she_o have_v get_v some_o notice_n of_o herself_o this_o miserable_a poor_a wretched_a sinner_n for_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n have_v ordain_v already_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v well_o of_o i_o in_o her_o hear_n for_o the_o effect_n of_o other_o good_a thing_n which_o depend_v upon_o this_o this_o lady_n be_v very_o well_o acquaint_v with_o this_o provincial_n and_o he_o consider_v what_o a_o principal_a person_n she_o be_v and_o that_o i_o be_v in_o a_o monastery_n which_o keep_v not_o clausure_n our_o lord_n give_v she_o so_o great_a a_o desire_n to_o see_v i_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o shall_v receive_v comfort_n by_o my_o mean_n that_o it_o be_v almost_o no_o long_o now_o in_o her_o power_n not_o instant_o to_o procure_v by_o all_o possible_a endeavour_n to_o get_v i_o thither_o and_o so_o she_o send_v to_o the_o provincial_n who_o be_v very_o far_o off_o at_o that_o time_n and_o according_o he_o also_o send_v i_o a_o express_a commandment_n under_o obedience_n that_o forthwith_o i_o shall_v transport_v myself_o thither_o with_o a_o companion_n now_o i_o come_v to_o know_v of_o this_o upon_o a_o christmasse-day_n at_o night_n and_o it_o put_v i_o into_o much_o disorder_n and_o give_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n
ruin_n if_o he_o love_v thou_o and_o not_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n such_o a_o one_o walk_v by_o the_o valley_n of_o humility_n nor_o be_o i_o able_a to_o understand_v why_o any_o creature_n shall_v be_v afraid_a to_o put_v himself_o into_o this_o way_n of_o perfection_n and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n even_o by_o what_o he_o be_v that_o he_o will_v give_v we_o right_o to_o understand_v how_o ill_o that_o security_n be_v which_o we_o look_v for_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o such_o manifest_a danger_n as_o where_o one_o be_v to_o be_v still_o trudge_v on_o in_o the_o rank_n and_o row_v of_o the_o world_n and_o that_o we_o may_v believe_v our_o true_a security_n and_o safety_n to_o consist_v in_o our_o procure_n to_o be_v still_o go_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o do_v service_n to_o almighty_a god_n away_o away_o let_v we_o all_o fix_v our_o eye_n upon_o he_o and_o let_v we_o not_o have_v any_o fear_n that_o this_o sun_n of_o justice_n will_v set_v or_o ever_o permit_v we_o to_o walk_v in_o such_o sort_n by_o night_n as_o that_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v lose_v unless_o we_o first_o resolve_v to_o leave_v he_o nor_o let_v we_o fear_v to_o walk_v even_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o lion_n of_o who_o every_o one_o seem_v greedy_a to_o be_v carryingaway_o his_o several_a piece_n and_o these_o be_v certain_a thing_n which_o the_o world_n be_v wont_a to_o call_v by_o the_o name_n of_o honour_n and_o great_a estate_n and_o delight_n and_o the_o devil_n on_o the_o other_o side_n seem_v also_o willing_a here_o to_o fright_v we_o with_o certain_a frivolous_a toy_n a_o be_v thousand_o time_n over_o i_o be_o amaze_v and_o ten_o thousand_o time_n will_v i_o desire_v even_o to_o dissolve_v myself_o with_o pour_v forth_o my_o tear_n &_o to_o cry-out_a to_o the_o whole_a world_n all_o at_o once_o to_o proclaim_v my_o own_o great_a wickedness_n and_o blindness_n so_o to_o try_v if_o that_o may_v do_v any_o good_a towards_o the_o make_n man_n at_o last_o open_v their_o eye_n let_v he_o open_v they_o through_o his_o own_o infinite_a goodness_n who_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o and_o not_o permit_v that_o ever_o i_o may_v turn_v blind_a again_o amen_n the_o six_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o subject_n which_o she_o have_v begin_v and_o declare_v the_o final_a conclusion_n of_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n and_o of_o the_o great_a contradiction_n and_o persecution_n which_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v put_v to_o suffer_v even_o after_o they_o have_v take_v the_o habit_n and_o of_o the_o many_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n which_o she_o be_v fain_o to_o undergo_v and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n draw_v she_o out_o of_o all_o with_o victory_n to_o his_o own_o praise_n and_o glory_n be_v part_v from_o that_o city_n where_o i_o be_v i_o pass_v with_o much_o contentment_n by_o the_o way_n resolve_v to_o undertake_v and_o go_v through_o with_o all_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o lay_v upon_o i_o and_o that_o with_o a_o most_o frank_a and_o entire_a submission_n of_o my_o whole_a hart_n now_o the_o self-same_a night_n when_o i_o arrive_v at_o auila_n our_o dispatch_n with_o the_o breve_fw-la from_o rome_n arrive_v also_o there_o so_o that_o i_o be_v amaze_v at_o it_o and_o so_o also_o be_v all_o they_o who_o know_v of_o the_o haste_n wherewith_o our_o lord_n have_v solicit_v i_o to_o come_v away_o when_o they_o also_o know_v withal_o the_o great_a necessity_n which_o there_o be_v thereof_o and_o the_o coniuncture_n also_o otherwise_o which_o appear_v then_o for_o i_o find_v the_o bishop_n there_o and_o that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o a_o certain_a cavalier_n also_o a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o our_o lord_n in_o who_o house_n that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n be_v lodge_v for_o that_o cavalier_n be_v a_o person_n with_o who_o general_o the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v ever_o wont_a to_o find_v a_o safe_a retreat_n now_o both_o those_o person_n join_v together_o obtain_v so_o much_o at_o the_o bishop_n hand_n as_o that_o he_o be_v content_a to_o admit_v of_o the_o monastery_n which_o be_v not_o a_o thing_n of_o small_a importance_n consider_v that_o it_o must_v live_v upon_o alm_n but_o the_o bishop_n be_v real_o a_o friend_n to_o such_o as_o be_v indeed_o resolve_v to_o serve_v our_o lord_n for_o instant_o he_o will_v apply_v himself_o to_o do_v they_o favour_n but_o the_o approbation_n of_o that_o holy_a old_a man_n and_o his_o deal_n earnest_o with_o several_a person_n to_o assist_v we_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o make_v a_o end_n of_o the_o work_n if_o i_o have_v not_o chance_v to_o arrive_v in_o this_o very_a coniuncture_n as_o i_o have_v say_v i_o know_v not_o how_o the_o besines_n can_v possible_o have_v be_v dispatch_v for_o this_o holy_a man_n stay_v a_o very_a little_a while_n here_o and_o i_o think_v not_o above_o eight_o day_n and_o even_o then_o he_o be_v very_o ill_a at_o ease_n and_o short_o after_o that_o time_n our_o lord_n take_v he_o out_o of_o the_o world_n to_o himself_o and_o it_o seem_v indeed_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v preserve_v he_o in_o this_o world_n till_o just_a this_o business_n may_v be_v dispatch_v for_o it_o have_v be_v long_o that_o be_v i_o think_v a_o matter_n of_o two_o year_n since_o he_o have_v be_v very_o ill_o in_o point_n of_o health_n but_o all_o that_o which_o they_o resolve_v now_o be_v to_o be_v govern_v with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o secrecy_n for_o else_o nothing_o will_v have_v take_v effect_n so_o ill_o be_v the_o people_n conceit_v of_o it_o as_o appear_v afterward_o now_o our_o lord_n dispose_v thing_n so_o that_o a_o brother-in-law_n of_o i_o shall_v be_v sick_a at_o that_o very_a time_n and_o that_o his_o wife_n shall_v not_o be_v here_o but_o that_o he_o must_v be_v in_o so_o very_o great_a need_n of_o help_n that_o they_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o go_v and_o be_v with_o he_o and_o so_o by_o occasion_n of_o that_o there_o be_v nothing_o know_v howsoever_o somewhat_o grow_v to_o be_v suspect_v concern_v some_o person_n though_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o full_o believe_v and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n to_o make_v man_n wonder_v how_o my_o brother-in-law_n continue_v no_o long_o sick_a then_o seem_v to_o be_v just_a necessary_a for_o our_o business_n and_o shall_v recover_v his_o health_n just_a as_o soon_o as_o it_o be_v fit_a to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o both_o i_o may_v be_v disengage_v and_o he_o may_v leave_v his_o house_n free_a but_o our_o lord_n as_o i_o be_v say_v do_v instant_o restore_v his_o health_n at_o which_o the_o patient_n be_v in_o wonder_n yet_o even_o then_o have_v i_o difficulty_n enough_o to_o procure_v by_o mean_n of_o many_o different_a person_n to_o make_v they_o give_v way_n that_o the_o business_n may_v go_v forward_o and_o both_o with_o the_o sick_a man_n and_o with_o the_o workman_n that_o the_o house_n may_v be_v finish_v out_o of_o hand_n and_o be_v put_v into_o the_o form_n of_o a_o monastery_n for_o there_o be_v very_o much_o of_o it_o unfinished_a at_o that_o time_n and_o my_o companion_n be_v then_o not_o here_o for_o we_o hold_v it_o indeed_o more_o convenient_a that_o she_o shall_v be_v absent_a for_o the_o better_a hide_v of_o the_o business_n and_o i_o see_v that_o it_o be_v of_o extreme_a importance_n that_o all_o shall_v be_v dispatch_v with_o diligence_n for_o many_o reason_n and_o for_o this_o among_o the_o rest_n because_o it_o be_v fear_v every_o hour_n that_o they_o will_v send_v i_o away_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o have_v so_o many_o occasion_n of_o vexation_n and_o trouble_v that_o i_o may_v have_v cause_n to_o doubt_v whether_o this_o be_v not_o that_o cross_n whereof_o i_o be_v warn_v though_o on_o the_o other_o side_n it_o seem_v that_o this_o be_v but_o a_o little_a one_o in_o comparison_n of_o that_o other_o great_a cross_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v former_o say_v that_o i_o be_v to_o bear_v but_o yet_o all_o be_v now_o conclude_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o some_o shall_v take_v the_o habit_n upon_o s._n bartholomews_n day_n at_o which_o time_n the_o b._n sacrament_n be_v expose_v with_o all_o the_o solemnity_n and_o devotion_n which_o we_o can_v possible_o use_v and_o so_o the_o monastery_n of_o our_o most_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n fall_v out_o to_o be_v erect_v and_o make_v in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n one_o thousand_o five_o hundred_o seventy_o two_o and_o it_o come_v then_o to_o my_o turn_n together_o with_o two_o other_o of_o our_o former_a monastery_n who_o by_o accident_n be_v abroad_o at_o
in_o respect_n of_o he_o i_o accuse_v myself_o then_o as_o in_o fault_n yea_o and_o as_o very_o faulty_a and_o so_o i_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o i_o be_v in_o the_o opinion_n of_o all_o they_o who_o know_v not_o very_o much_o of_o the_o cause_n and_o after_o they_o have_v give_v i_o a_o great_a reprehension_n though_o not_o yet_o with_o so_o much_o rigour_n as_o the_o fault_n may_v seem_v to_o deserve_v and_o as_o many_o of_o they_o tell_v the_o provincial_n that_o i_o have_v commit_v i_o be_v absolute_o for_o my_o part_n resolve_v to_o hold_v on_o this_o course_n and_o so_o i_o rather_o desire_v that_o they_o shall_v pardon_v i_o and_o then_o punish_v i_o if_o they_o will_v but_o by_o no_o mean_n remain_v unkind_a or_o ill-affected_a towards_o i_o in_o some_o thing_n i_o plain_o see_v that_o they_o have_v no_o reason_n at_o all_o against_o i_o but_o that_o they_o condemn_v i_o without_o cause_n as_o when_o they_o say_v i_o have_v do_v whatsoever_o i_o have_v do_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v be_v hold_v in_o great_a opinion_n and_o to_o be_v talk_v of_o and_o such_o other_o toy_n as_o that_o but_o in_o other_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o they_o say_v true_a as_o namely_o that_o i_o be_v much_o worse_o than_o the_o rest_n and_o that_o since_o i_o have_v not_o keep_v the_o observance_n of_o that_o house_n which_o be_v maintain_v with_o so_o much_o piety_n and_o devotion_n there_o how_o can_v i_o come_v to_o think_v of_o perform_v another_o rule_n of_o more_o rigour_n and_o that_o this_o be_v but_o to_o raiseup_a novelty_n in_o the_o world_n and_o to_o scandalize_v the_o people_n but_o yet_o all_o this_o cause_v no_o tumult_n in_o my_o hart_n nor_o put_v i_o to_o any_o pain_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o i_o show_v to_o be_v in_o some_o lest_o otherwise_o they_o may_v conceive_v that_o i_o undervalue_v what_o they_o say_v but_o in_o fine_a the_o provincial_n command_v i_o to_o give_v account_n of_o myself_o to_o they_o of_o the_o former_a monastery_n and_o that_o i_o must_v necessary_o do_v it_o and_o so_o be_v at_o great_a peace_n within_o myself_o and_o our_o lord_n assist_v i_o therein_o i_o give_v such_o a_o discharge_n of_o my_o action_n as_o that_o neither_o the_o provincial_n nor_o the_o religious_a woman_n who_o be_v in_o that_o assembly_n find_v any_o thing_n for_o which_o to_o condemn_v i_o after_o this_o i_o speak_v more_o plain_o to_o he_o in_o private_a and_o i_o do_v it_o also_o more_o at_o large_a and_o he_o be_v very_o well_o satisfy_v with_o i_o and_o promise_v i_o that_o if_o the_o city_n shall_v proceed_v towards_o a_o be_v quiet_a again_o he_o will_v give_v i_o leave_v to_o go_v to_o my_o monastery_n but_o the_o disorder_n and_o distemper_n of_o the_o city_n be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v within_o two_o or_o three_o day_n after_o that_o time_n the_o governor_n and_o other_o magistrate_n of_o the_o town_n and_o some_o also_o of_o the_o chapter_n of_o the_o cathedral_n church_n meet_v together_o and_o they_o all_o declare_v joint_o that_o by_o no_o mean_n they_o must_v permit_v the_o work_n to_o go_v forward_o that_o it_o will_v result_v to_o the_o evident_a disadvantage_n of_o the_o commonwealth_n that_o they_o must_v not_o fail_v to_o remove_v the_o b._n sacrament_n from_o thence_o and_o by_o no_o mean_n permit_v the_o business_n to_o proceed_v one_o only_o doctor_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n although_o he_o be_v of_o a_o contrary_a opinion_n to_o we_o i_o mean_v not_o in_o that_o point_n of_o the_o monastery_n but_o in_o that_o other_o of_o be_v incapable_a of_o revenue_n and_o poor_a say_v that_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n why_o the_o house_n shall_v instant_o be_v dissolve_v after_o that_o manner_n but_o that_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v well_o consider_v that_o there_o will_v be_v time_n enough_o for_o this_o that_o it_o be_v a_o case_n which_o belong_v to_o the_o bishop_n and_o diverse_a other_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o do_v very_o much_o good_a to_o the_o business_n for_o consider_v how_o great_a the_o fury_n of_o the_o people_n be_v it_o be_v happy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o put_v the_o dissolve_v of_o the_o house_n present_o in_o execution_n and_o this_o show_v that_o the_o thing_n in_o fine_a be_v to_o take_v effect_n and_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o have_v it_o so_o and_o that_o they_o all_o can_v do_v little_a against_o his_o will_n and_o pleasure_n but_o yet_o they_o all_o assign_v their_o reason_n and_o express_v good_a zeal_n in_o what_o they_o say_v and_o yet_o thus_o without_o their_o give_a offence_n to_o almighty_a god_n they_o make_v both_o i_o and_o diverse_a other_o suffer_v who_o favour_v the_o business_n the_o tumultuous_a disposition_n of_o the_o people_n be_v so_o great_a that_o now_o there_o be_v no_o talk_n of_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o they_o all_o agree_v in_o condemn_v i_o and_o in_o go_v to_o complain_v of_o i_o to_o the_o provincial_n and_o to_o my_o monastery_n as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v no_o more_o trouble_v at_o what_o they_o say_v then_o if_o they_o have_v not_o say_v it_o but_o the_o only_o fear_v i_o have_v be_v whether_o or_o no_o they_o will_v dissolve_v the_o house_n for_o this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n and_o so_o also_o do_v it_o to_o see_v that_o the_o person_n who_o assist_v i_o lose_v credit_n and_o be_v otherwise_o also_o put_v to_o much_o inconvenience_n by_o it_o but_o as_o for_o that_o which_o they_o say_v of_o i_o i_o be_v rather_o glad_v of_o it_o than_o otherwise_o and_o if_o i_o have_v have_v any_o faith_n it_o will_v have_v make_v no_o alteration_n in_o i_o at_o all_o but_o when_o there_o be_v a_o want_n in_o some_o one_o virtue_n all_o the_o rest_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v cast_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o slumber_n and_o so_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v during_o those_o two_o day_n wherein_o the_o two_o assembly_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v make_v among_o the_o people_n and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o afflict_v our_o lord_n say_v these_o word_n to_o i_o do_v thou_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o powerful_a of_o what_o be_v thou_o afraid_a and_o thus_o do_v he_o assure_v i_o that_o the_o house_n shall_v not_o be_v dissolve_v whereby_o i_o remain_v full_a of_o comfort_n but_o then_o do_v they_o dispatch_v their_o agent_n or_o sollicitour_n to_o the_o council_n royal_a with_o their_o information_n and_o so_o there_o come_v order_n from_o thencÄ—_n to_o send_v a_o relation_n thither_o of_o the_o whole_a proceed_n so_o that_o heet_n we_o may_v behold_v the_o beginning_n of_o a_o great_a suit_n in_o law_n for_o already_o some_o be_v go_v to_o the_o court_n on_o the_o part_n of_o the_o city_n &_o other_o be_v instant_o to_o go_v on_o the_o part_n of_o the_o monastery_n and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n neither_o have_v we_o any_o money_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v what_o to_o do_v but_o our_o lord_n provide_v all_o thing_n for_o us._n and_o as_o for_o i_o my_o father_n provincial_a do_v never_o forbid_v i_o to_o deal_v in_o it_o for_o he_o be_v so_o true_a a_o friend_n to_o all_o virtue_n that_o although_o he_o do_v not_o assist_v in_o the_o work_n yet_o he_o will_v not_o be_v against_o it_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o he_o will_v never_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o pass_v to_o this_o new_a monastery_n till_o he_o may_v see_v what_o kind_n of_o end_n the_o business_n will_v have_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n the_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v all_o alone_a and_o do_v more_o with_o their_o prayer_n than_o all_o that_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o do_v by_o way_n of_o negotiation_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o be_v necessary_a to_o use_v diligence_n enough_o sometime_o it_o will_v seem_v that_o all_o be_v want_v and_o especial_o one_o day_n before_o the_o provincial_n come_v hither_o when_o the_o prioress_n command_v i_o not_o to_o treat_v any_o more_o about_o that_o business_n but_o to_o give_v it_o utter_o over_o but_o than_o go_v i_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o say_v o_o my_o lord_n this_o house_n be_v not_o i_o but_o it_o be_v make_v for_o thou_o and_o now_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n to_o negotiate_v the_o business_n for_o we_o and_o therefore_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n must_v be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o heerupon_o i_o find_v myself_o real_o and_o instant_o at_o so_o great_a ease_n and_o so_o without_o any_o manner_n of_o trouble_n as_o if_o i_o have_v have_v the_o whole_a world_n on_o my_o side_n to_o employ_v itself_o for_o i_o and_o so_o i_o hold_v all_o the_o business_n to_o be_v in_o safety_n upon_o this_o a_o certain_a priest_n a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o
and_o i_o believe_v it_o have_v be_v more_o than_o a_o month_n wherein_o i_o do_v almost_o nothing_o else_o but_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o will_v bring_v this_o soul_n back_o to_o himself_o and_o be_v in_o prayer_n one_o day_n i_o see_v a_o devil_n hard_a by_o i_o with_o certain_a paper_n in_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o be_v tear_v and_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a rage_n but_o this_o put_v i_o into_o much_o comfort_n because_o i_o conceive_v thereby_o that_o my_o suit_n be_v grant_v and_o so_o it_o be_v as_o i_o come_v to_o know_v afterward_o for_o the_o party_n have_v be_v at_o confession_n and_o have_v do_v it_o with_o great_a contrition_n and_o he_o return_v in_o so_o very_o good_a earnest_n to_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o hope_v in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n he_o will_v ever_o go_v advance_v in_o his_o service_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_n in_o this_o particular_a of_o procure_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o bring_v soul_n out_o of_o grievous_a sin_n upon_o my_o humble_a suit_n and_o of_o other_o who_o be_v bring_v many_o time_n to_o more_o perfection_n and_o of_o fre_a soul_n also_o out_o of_o purgatory_n and_o of_o do_v other_o thing_n also_o of_o great_a importance_n the_o favour_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o shall_v both_o weary_a myself_o and_o my_o reader_n if_o i_o will_v pretend_v to_o relate_v they_o and_o these_o thing_n have_v happen_v often_o to_o i_o for_o the_o benefit_n of_o soul_n then_o of_o body_n and_o this_o be_v so_o very_o well_o know_v that_o it_o have_v many_o witness_n but_o then_o instant_o there_o grow_v a_o kind_n of_o scruple_n upon_o i_o since_o i_o can_v not_o choose_v but_o believe_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v diverse_a thing_n through_o my_o prayer_n for_o in_o this_o case_n and_o at_o this_o time_n i_o abstract_n from_o his_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n which_o be_v ever_o the_o chief_n cause_n of_o all_o thing_n but_o for_o the_o rest_n these_o be_v now_o so_o many_o particular_n and_o so_o well_o know_v by_o other_o that_o i_o have_v no_o difficulty_n at_o all_o to_o believe_v they_o and_o i_o bless_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o same_o and_o they_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n because_o i_o still_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v more_o and_o more_o a_o debtor_n but_o that_o consideration_n make_v my_o desire_n to_o serve_v he_o increase_n and_o revive_v my_o love_n and_o which_o yet_o amaze_v i_o more_o those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n find_v not_o to_o be_v convenient_a i_o can_v scarce_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o almost_o although_o i_o will_v and_o if_o i_o do_v it_o be_v with_o so_o little_a strength_n and_o spirit_n and_o care_n that_o although_o i_o will_v fain_o force_v myself_o yet_o it_o be_v even_o impossible_a for_o i_o to_o do_v it_o in_o these_o as_o i_o do_v it_o in_o those_o other_o which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o effect_v for_o such_o i_o see_v i_o be_o able_a to_o beg_v often_o and_o that_o with_o great_a importunity_n and_o though_o i_o carry_v not_o the_o particular_a care_n of_o they_o about_o i_o yet_o i_o think_v they_o come_v before_o i_o of_o themselves_o so_o that_o the_o difference_n between_o these_o two_o way_n of_o ask_v be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o declare_v for_o though_o i_o ask_v in_o one_o of_o these_o kind_n of_o thing_n wherein_o i_o forbear_v not_o to_o urge_v myself_o to_o beg_v they_o of_o our_o lord_n howsoever_o i_o feel_v not_o that_o kind_n of_o fervour_n in_o myself_o which_o i_o do_v in_o those_o other_o and_o though_o they_o chance_v to_o import_v my_o own_o particular_a very_o much_o yet_o be_v it_o in_o effect_n but_o as_o when_o a_o man_n chance_v to_o be_v toung-tyed_n who_o although_o he_o will_v fain_o speak_v yet_o he_o can_v do_v it_o and_o if_o he_o speak_v it_o be_v but_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o he_o see_v it_o can_v be_v understand_v whereas_o the_o other_o be_v as_o when_o a_o man_n speak_v clear_a and_o plain_a to_o a_o man_n who_o he_o find_v very_o willing_a to_o hear_v he_o or_o else_o let_v we_o say_v that_o one_o of_o those_o favour_n be_v beg_v as_o by_o a_o vocal_a prayer_n and_o the_o other_o as_o in_o a_o way_n of_o contemplation_n which_o be_v so_o very_o sublime_a that_o our_o lord_n represent_v himself_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o we_o understand_v that_o he_o understand_v we_o and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v joy_v to_o see_v that_o we_o beg_v any_o thing_n of_o he_o that_o so_o he_o may_v do_v we_o favour_n bless_a be_v he_o for_o ever_o who_o give_v we_o so_o much_o and_o to_o who_o i_o give_v so_o little_a for_o what_o o_o my_o lord_n do_v any_o man_n who_o do_v not_o even_o defeat_v himself_o whole_o for_o thou_o and_o yet_o how_o much_o how_o much_o how_o much_o and_o a_o thousand_o time_n more_o i_o may_v say_v how_o much_o be_o i_o want_v herein_o and_o now_o upon_o this_o reason_n i_o shall_v not_o so_o much_o as_o once_o desire_v even_o to_o live_v though_o yet_o i_o have_v other_o reason_n also_o not_o to_o desire_v it_o because_o i_o live_v not_o according_a to_o my_o obligation_n towards_o thou_o nay_o how_o full_a do_v i_o see_v myself_o of_o imperfection_n and_o with_o what_o faintness_n and_o baseness_n do_v i_o serve_v thou_o and_o real_o i_o think_v sometime_o i_o wish_v that_o i_o be_v even_o deprive_v of_o sense_n that_o so_o i_o may_v not_o understand_v so_o very_a much_o ill_n of_o myself_o as_o i_o do_v yet_o i_o beseech_v he_o to_o redress_v it_o all_o who_o know_v so_o well_o how_o to_o do_v it_o but_o i_o remember_v i_o speak_v before_o of_o my_o be_v in_o the_o house_n of_o a_o certain_a great_a lady_n where_o i_o assure_v you_o folk_n have_v good_a reason_n to_o have_v their_o wit_n well_o about_o they_o and_o always_o to_o be_v consider_v the_o vanity_n which_o worldly_a thing_n carry_v with_o they_o for_o she_o be_v a_o person_n very_o much_o esteem_v and_o very_o much_o praise_v and_o there_o be_v temptation_n enough_o towards_o less_o perfection_n through_o much_o distraction_n whereby_o one_o may_v easy_o have_v be_v shrewd_o take_v if_o i_o have_v look_v upon_o nothing_o but_o myself_o but_o he_o who_o judge_v right_o and_o look_n upon_o we_o with_o true_a sight_n indeed_o be_v careful_a not_o to_o give_v over_o the_o keep_v i_o ever_o safe_a in_o his_o hand_n and_o now_o when_o i_o be_o speak_v of_o have_v a_o true_a and_o real_a sight_n of_o thing_n i_o remember_v and_o consider_v the_o great_a trouble_n which_o any_o such_o person_n as_o who_o it_o have_v please_v almighty_a god_n to_o endue_v with_o a_o knowledge_n of_o that_o which_o indeed_o be_v truth_n must_v needs_o be_v put_v to_o when_o he_o be_v force_v to_o treat_v with_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o concern_v this_o transitory_a and_o troublesome_a world_n where_o all_fw-mi in_o fine_a be_v much_o disguise_v and_o mask_v as_o our_o lord_n himself_o tell_v i_o once_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n many_o of_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o write_v here_o be_v by_o no_o mean_n of_o my_o own_o head_n but_o they_o have_v be_v tell_v i_o by_o that_o heavenly_a master_n of_o i_o and_o because_o in_o all_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o be_o wont_a to_o affirm_v after_o a_o direct_a and_o positive_a manner_n i_o use_v to_o express_v myself_o by_o these_o word_n this_o i_o understand_v or_o else_o our_o lord_n tell_v i_o this_o i_o find_v myself_o with_o a_o very_a great_a scruple_n of_o either_o add_v or_o any_o way_n alter_v so_o much_o as_o any_o one_o syllable_n thereof_o and_o so_o whensoever_o i_o do_v not_o most_o express_o remember_v every_o circumstance_n of_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o be_v to_o be_v relate_v by_o i_o i_o be_o wont_a to_o deliver_v that_o always_o as_o in_o my_o own_o name_n or_o else_o because_o sometime_o they_o proceed_v from_o my_o own_o particular_a dictaman_n i_o use_v not_o to_o call_v any_o thing_n i_o which_o be_v good_a in_o itself_o because_o indeed_o i_o be_o far_o enough_o from_o be_v ignorant_a that_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v in_o i_o be_v good_a but_o i_o affirm_v only_o those_o thing_n as_o in_o my_o own_o name_n and_o they_o be_v deliver_v as_o by_o myself_o which_o do_v not_o come_v into_o my_o understanding_n and_o knowledge_n by_o way_n of_o revelation_n but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o my_o god_n and_o how_o often_o do_v it_o happen_v to_o we_o here_o that_o even_o in_o the_o most_o spiritual_a occasion_n we_o be_v resolve_v many_o
i_o have_v to_o converse_v with_o they_o but_o our_o lord_n do_v ever_o counsel_v i_o in_o all_o thing_n yea_o so_o far_o as_o even_o to_o tell_v i_o how_o i_o shall_v carry_v myself_o towards_o weak_a person_n and_o some_o other_o also_o and_o he_o never_o lay_v the_o care_n of_o i_o aside_o but_o i_o be_o much_o trouble_v to_o find_v that_o i_o be_o good_a for_o so_o little_a in_o his_o service_n as_o also_o that_o i_o can_v do_v the_o less_o through_o my_o spend_v more_o time_n than_o i_o wiâ—h_v upon_o so_o weak_a and_o waste_v a_o body_n as_o i_o be_v as_o i_o be_v once_o in_o prayer_n and_o the_o hour_n of_o our_o go_v to_o rest_n come_v on_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n and_o know_v that_o my_o ordinary_a vomit_n will_v arrive_v and_o obserue_v myself_o to_o be_v so_o tyed-up_a to_o these_o care_n and_o the_o spirit_n on_o the_o other_o side_n desit_v to_o have_v some_o time_n for_o itself_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v even_o so_o tire_v that_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v great_o afflict_v and_o to_o weep_v much_o and_o that_o happen_v very_o often_o to_o i_o and_o this_o condition_n put_v i_o to_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o anger_n that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v in_o those_o time_n even_o abhor_v myself_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v true_a withal_o that_o i_o do_v not_o abhor_v myself_o indeed_o nor_o yet_o be_o want_v in_o what_o be_v necessary_a for_o i_o and_o i_o rather_o pray_v god_n that_o i_o take_v not_o more_o care_n of_o myself_o than_o i_o shall_v and_o so_o i_o fear_v i_o do_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o grief_n our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o and_o regale_v i_o very_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v endure_v these_o trouble_n and_o goe-through_a with_o they_o for_o love_n of_o he_o and_o that_o my_o life_n be_v necessary_a yet_o and_o so_o i_o think_v i_o never_o see_v myself_o in_o any_o very_a great_a pain_n which_o i_o value_v since_o i_o resolve_v to_o serve_v this_o lord_n and_o comforter_n of_o i_o with_o all_o my_o power_n for_o though_o he_o permit_v i_o to_o suffer_v a_o little_a yet_o will_v he_o still_o be_v assist_v i_o so_o withal_o that_o i_o esteem_v not_o myself_o to_o do_v much_o in_o desire_v to_o suffer_v affliction_n for_o his_o sake_n so_o that_o now_o i_o think_v there_o be_v no_o reason_n why_o we_o shall_v even_o desire_v so_o much_o as_o to_o live_v but_o only_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v suffer_v and_o according_o this_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o i_o beg_v with_o most_o affection_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o sometime_o i_o be_o say_v to_o he_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n o_o lord_n let_v i_o either_o suffer_v or_o die_v for_o i_o beg_v no_o other_o thing_n of_o thou_o for_o myself_o and_o now_o it_o use_v to_o comfort_v i_o to_o hear_v the_o clock_n strike_v for_o so_o i_o think_v i_o be_o grow_v a_o little_a near_o to_o the_o see_v of_o god_n though_o it_o be_v but_o a_o little_a because_o one_o hour_n more_o of_o my_o life_n be_v past_a at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v myself_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o neither_o take_v much_o pleasure_n in_o live_v nor_o yet_o i_o think_v have_v any_o great_a mind_n to_o die_v and_o so_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o stupidity_n and_o darkness_n of_o mind_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o many_o time_n i_o also_o have_v some_o trouble_n and_o since_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o those_o favour_n shall_v be_v public_o know_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o show_v i_o as_o he_o himself_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o year_n ago_o that_o they_o shall_v be_v which_o give_v i_o vexation_n enough_o and_o it_o be_v not_o a_o little_a that_o i_o have_v endure_v therein_o as_o your_o reverence_n know_v for_o every_o body_n will_v understand_v thing_n as_o he_o list_n i_o comfort_v myself_o yet_o with_o this_o that_o it_o have_v not_o arrive_v by_o my_o fault_n because_o i_o never_o speak_v of_o any_o such_o thing_n but_o either_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n or_o other_o who_o i_o know_v even_o by_o they_o have_v understand_v thereof_o for_o of_o this_o i_o be_v very_o wary_a even_o to_o extremity_n though_o yet_o perhaps_o i_o abstain_v not_o so_o much_o for_o respect_n of_o humility_n as_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v pain_n enough_o to_o tell_v even_o my_o ghostly_a father_n thereof_o and_o therefore_o how_o much_o less_o will_v i_o impart_v thing_n of_o this_o nature_n to_o other_o but_o now_o i_o earnest_o desire_v that_o almighty_a god_n may_v receive_v glory_n by_o it_o howsoever_o there_o be_v some_o who_o murmur_n at_o i_o very_o much_o upon_o this_o occasion_n though_o even_o yet_o i_o think_v they_o may_v peradventure_o do_v it_o with_o good_a zeal_n and_o there_o be_v other_o who_o be_v afraid_a even_o to_o treat_v with_o i_o in_o any_o kind_n yea_o and_o even_o to_o receive_v the_o confession_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o other_o say_v also_o other_o thing_n but_o how_o soever_o since_o i_o understand_v that_o it_o have_v please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o reduce_v many_o soul_n by_o this_o mean_n and_o because_o i_o see_v clear_o and_o remember_v continual_o how_o much_o himself_o will_v be_v please_v to_o endure_v for_o the_o gain_n of_o one_o soul_n i_o allow_v myself_o to_o take_v little_a trouble_n for_o any_o thing_n which_o man_n can_v say_v of_o i_o and_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o or_o no_o this_o may_v not_o have_v be_v a_o part_n of_o the_o cause_n why_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v place_v i_o in_o this_o little_a corner_n of_o the_o world_n where_o i_o be_o so_o shut_v up_o and_o where_o i_o think_v there_o will_v be_v no_o more_o memory_n of_o i_o then_o of_o a_o thing_n which_o be_v dead_a but_o their_o forgerfulnes_n be_v not_o so_o great_a as_o i_o wish_v and_o so_o i_o have_v be_v constrain_v to_o speak_v sometime_o with_o some_o person_n yet_o howsoever_o i_o be_o not_o now_o where_o the_o world_n may_v easy_o see_v i_o for_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o drive_v i_o from_o sea_n to_o this_o port_n and_o i_o trust_v in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o will_v prove_v a_o very_a safe_a one_o for_o i_o and_o since_o now_o i_o be_o out_o of_o the_o world_n and_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o company_n of_o few_o but_o they_o holy_a creature_n i_o look_v down_o upon_o the_o world_n as_o from_o a_o place_n which_o be_v very_o high_a and_o so_o it_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v of_o little_a moment_n with_o i_o what_o they_o below_o do_v either_o say_v or_o think_v and_o i_o will_v make_v much_o more_o account_n to_o understand_v that_o any_o one_o soul_n shall_v have_v profit_v to_o the_o weight_n of_o one_o little_a grain_n in_o god_n service_n by_o my_o mean_n then_o of_o all_o which_o can_v be_v say_v of_o i_o in_o any_o kind_n for_o since_o i_o have_v find_v myself_o in_o this_o place_n our_o lord_n have_v be_v gracious_o please_v that_o all_o the_o desire_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v have_v no_o other_o aim_n but_o this_o and_o he_o have_v also_o give_v i_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o sleep_n in_o this_o life_n which_o make_v i_o find_v that_o whatsoever_o i_o see_v be_v but_o dream_v nor_o be_o i_o able_a to_o say_v that_o i_o reap_v either_o much_o contentment_n or_o trouble_v by_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o if_o yet_o some_o thing_n give_v i_o any_o it_o pass_v away_o with_o so_o very_o great_a speed_n that_o i_o even_o wonder_v at_o it_o and_o it_o make_v but_o just_a such_o a_o kind_n of_o impression_n upon_o i_o as_o a_o thing_n will_v do_v whereof_o i_o have_v dream_v and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o perfect_a truth_n that_o although_o i_o shall_v afterward_o have_v a_o piece_n of_o a_o mind_n either_o to_o be_v glad_a of_o any_o contentment_n or_o to_o be_v sorry_a for_o any_o mis-accident_n and_o trouble_v it_o be_v real_o no_o more_o now_o in_o my_o power_n but_o just_a so_o as_o any_o man_n who_o be_v discreet_a will_v take_v either_o trouble_n or_o joy_n from_o a_o dream_n of_o his_o own_o for_o now_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o be_v please_v to_o awake_v and_o open_v the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n from_o out_o of_o that_o folly_n wherein_o it_o be_v and_o whereas_o by_o my_o not_o be_v mortify_v nor_o dead_a to_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_v wont_a to_o have_v much_o feel_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o happen_v his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v now_o that_o i_o shall_v loose_v my_o true_a sight_n no_o more_o in_o this_o sort_n sir_n do_v i_o live_v now_o and_o i_o
have_v begin_v to_o obey_v she_o also_o declare_v for_o how_o little_a purpose_n it_o serve_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v daily_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o after_o a_o more_o complete_a manner_n chap._n 25._o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o understand_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o utter_v to_o the_o soul_n though_o yet_o without_o hear_v any_o voice_n or_o sound_n and_o of_o some_o error_n or_o abuse_n which_o may_v happen_v herein_o and_o how_o the_o right_a may_v be_v know_v from_o the_o wrong_n it_o be_v of_o much_o use_n and_o profit_n for_o such_o as_o see_v themselves_o in_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n for_o it_o be_v declare_v very_o well_o and_o the_o doctrine_n contain_v great_a instruction_n 26._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v she_o to_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o belief_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o 27._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o another_o way_n how_o our_o lord_n instruct_v a_o soul_n and_o give_v she_o to_o understand_v his_o will_n after_o a_o very_a admirable_a manner_n without_o any_o speech_n at_o all_o she_o also_o declare_v a_o certain_a vision_n and_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o and_o this_o vision_n be_v not_o imaginary_a this_o chaepter_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 28._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o and_o how_o he_o appear_v to_o she_o the_o first_o time_n she_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o vision_n which_o show_v itself_o by_o way_n of_o the_o imagination_n and_o discover_v the_o great_a effect_n and_o testimony_n which_o such_o thing_n leave_v in_o the_o soul_n when_o they_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n this_o chapter_n be_v of_o great_a instruction_n and_o deserve_v to_o be_v note_v much_o 29._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o discourse_n which_o she_o have_v begin_v and_o relate_v some_o high_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o and_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v further_o for_o the_o secure_n and_o encourage_a her_o mind_n and_o for_o the_o enable_v she_o to_o answer_n her_o contradictour_n 30._o chap._n she_o return_v to_o recount_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o our_o lord_n give_v remedy_n to_o many_o of_o her_o trouble_n by_o bring_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v 31_o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o certain_a exterior_a temptation_n and_o representation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o of_o the_o torment_n which_o he_o give_v she_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v very_o fit_a for_o the_o advice_n and_o instruction_n of_o such_o person_n as_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o perfection_n 32._o chap._n she_o treat_v how_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o put_v she_o in_o spirit_n into_o a_o place_n of_o hell_n which_o she_o say_v she_o have_v deserve_v for_o her_o sin_n she_o relate_v what_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o there_o which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n 33._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n she_o declare_v how_o she_o be_v command_v to_o attend_v to_o that_o business_n and_o of_o the_o time_n when_o she_o forbear_v to_o follow_v it_o and_o of_o some_o trouble_n which_o she_o have_v and_o how_o she_o be_v comfort_v in_o they_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n chap._n 34._o she_o declare_v how_o at_o this_o time_n she_o be_v necessary_o to_o go_v from_o that_o place_n and_o she_o show_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o how_o her_o superior_a command_v she_o to_o go_v for_o the_o comfort_n of_o a_o certain_a lady_n who_o be_v much_o afflict_v she_o begin_v to_o treat_v of_o that_o which_o happen_v to_o she_o there_o and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v by_o her_o mean_n in_o stirring-up_a a_o very_a principal_a person_n to_o do_v he_o very_o great_a service_n and_o how_o afterward_o she_o receive_v much_o favour_n and_o protection_n from_o he_o this_o be_v a_o admirable_a discourse_n and_o very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 35._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o subject_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v 36._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o subject_n which_o she_o have_v begunn_v and_o declare_v the_o final_a conclusion_n of_o this_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n and_o of_o the_o great_a contradiction_n and_o persecution_n which_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v put_v to_o suffer_v even_o after_o they_o have_v take_v the_o habit_n and_o of_o the_o many_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n which_o she_o be_v fain_o to_o undergo_v and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n draw_v she_o out_o of_o all_o with_o victory_n to_o his_o own_o praise_n and_o glory_n 37._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o effect_n which_o use_v to_o remain_v in_o her_o soul_n when_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o any_o favour_n and_o she_o accompany_v this_o discourse_n with_o very_o profitable_a doctrine_n she_o declare_v also_o how_o we_o be_v to_o procure_v and_o great_o esteem_v the_o gain_n of_o one_o degree_n of_o glory_n more_o and_o how_o we_o must_v not_o for_o any_o trouble_n or_o pain_n forsake_v those_o benefit_n &_o blessing_n which_o be_v everlasting_a 38._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o some_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o as_o well_o in_o acquaint_v she_o with_o certain_a secret_n of_o heaven_n as_o by_o give_v she_o other_o great_a vision_n and_o revelation_n she_o declare_v also_o the_o effect_n which_o they_o leave_v in_o her_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o she_o obtain_v by_o they_o 39_o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o show_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o she_o declare_v how_o he_o be_v please_v to_o promise_v his_o favour_n to_o they_o for_o who_o she_o shall_v beg_v it_o and_o she_o relate_v some_o important_a particular_n wherein_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v do_v her_o extraordinary_a favour_n of_o this_o kind_n 40._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o discourse_n by_o relate_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o whereby_o good_a instruction_n be_v to_o be_v get_v and_o with_o the_o end_n of_o this_o chapter_n she_o end_v also_o the_o discourse_n of_o her_o life_n 41._o a_o letter_n write_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n which_o she_o send_v together_o with_o the_o book_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n approbatio_fw-la haec_fw-la vita_fw-la s._n teresae_fw-la primùm_fw-la hispanico_fw-la sermone_fw-la à _fw-la se_fw-la conscripta_fw-la &_o postea_fw-la taliter_fw-la edita_fw-la nunc_fw-la verò_fw-la felicissimè_fw-la anglicè_fw-la reddita_fw-la per_fw-la ill_n m_o virum_fw-la m._n t._n iussu_fw-la r_o mi_fw-mi antuerpiensis_n à _fw-la i_o attentè_fw-fr perlecta_fw-la fuit_fw-la &_o in_o eadem_fw-la nihil_fw-la dum_fw-la reperi_fw-la vel_fw-la contra_fw-la fidem_fw-la vel_fw-la quod_fw-la possit_fw-la meo_fw-la iudicio_fw-la pias_fw-la &_o christianas_n aures_fw-la offendere_fw-la imò_fw-la cum_fw-la amorem_fw-la eius_fw-la seraphicum_fw-la undique_fw-la lucentem_fw-la ac_fw-la inflammantem_fw-la lector_fw-la experiatur_fw-la censeo_fw-la dignissimam_fw-la ut_fw-la in_o communem_fw-la etiam_fw-la catholicorum_n anglorum_fw-la utilitatem_fw-la imprimatur_fw-la antuerpiae_fw-la 5._o augusti_fw-la m._n dc_o xlii_o richardus_n wake_v i._n v._o l._n cap._n 4._o cap._n 5._o cap._n 2._o cap._n 8._o cap._n 7._o cap._n 6._o cap._n 22._o 22._o note_v this_o great_a &_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n many_o use_v to_o repeat_v the_o creed_n in_o the_o presence_n and_o as_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o as_o be_v near_o expire_a by_o way_n of_o fortefy_v they_o at_o that_o time_n against_o the_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n devil_n when_o person_n be_v near_o expire_a attendant_n use_v to_o be_v very_o