whom shall I addresse my selfe Hell will not the earth cannot relieue me and I dare not lift vp mine eyes to Heauen hauing so highly offended against Heauen and before thee the great King of Heauen I am assailed on euery side assailed by mine own iniquities assailed by thy graces Where may I shrowd my selfe from my sinnes How can I hide mee from my selfe Where may I expect succour Whence may I hope for helpe sithence thy graces which I haue turned into wantonnesse doe conuince me of foule ingratitude doe multiply iniquities vpon me and euen arme thy mercies against me The extremity of my Condition is such as will afford no long time of deliberation In briefe there is one onely way left of escape and euasion and that is by flying from thee to fly to thee to appeale from thy seate of Iustice to thy throne of Mercy as to thy Court of last resort which is alwaies open Either that way or no way can I be rescued from vtter destruction The most odious sinne of desperation wil but plunge me further into the depth of damnation But with the Lord there is maruailous mercy and plenteous redemption By this meanes it is possible without it impossible to saue my sinfull soule Wherefore my resolution is in the lowest degree of humiliation in the deepest straine of contrition faithfully and yet in a sort fearefully to repose my selfe vpon his infinite and vnspeakeable compassion I will pierce mine entralles and pricke the heart of my corrupt heart to the quicke I will let out a flood of teares which are the bloud of my soule I will mingle my zealous and humble prayers with those salt and brackish teares I will knocke hard at his mercy gate and cry aloud Miserere A MEDITATION VPON THE PSALME of Mercy 1. Haue mercy vpon me O God according to thy great mercy and according to the multitude of thy tender compassions blot out my transgressions THAT which I begge at thy hands O God is mercy for of many properties in thee which are all essentiall to thee there is none so vsefull none so delightfull to my perplexed soule as is thy mercy Were it not for thy Mercy thy Maiesty would affright thy Wisedome confound thy Iustice condemne and thy Power destroy me as on the other part through the sweete mixture of thy Mercy thy Maiestie will reuiue thy Wisedome enlighten thy Iustice acquit thy Power preserue me and euery of thy other Attributes will contribute to the aduancement of my inestimable benefit and endlesse good In Mercy all my prayers and petitions are comprized by Mercy all my defects and desires are satisfied for Mercy all my prayses and thankes are returned Euery thing that hath being doth naturally affect continuance and well being Euery Man doth or should desire his chiefe good and true happinesse which consists in thy remission of his sinnes in his reconciliation to thee and that is the blessed and kindely fruite of thy gracious and tender mercy alone A sinner I am and who is not Therefore I cannot seeke for happines in freedome from sinne that is aboue the nature of man but in the free pardon of my sinne by grace which surmounts all the sinnes of all the world Thou didst looke downe O Lord from all eternity out of thy highest throne of Heauen by way of Suruey among the sonnes of men in all ages and generations all things and persons being euer present vnto thee to see if there were any that would vnderstand and seeke after thee But vpon exact enquiry returne was made they were all found corrupt and abominable There was not one that did good no not one Which for greater vehemency and euidence of the truth is repeated the second tyme and purposely recorded by an infinite foresight to take away all colour of doubt and to impose perpetuall Silence to such as afterwards might deceiue themselues and abuse others with an opinion of their owne iustice and holinesse as answerable to thy diuine law and meritorious of thy louing fauour Wherfore I present this lamentable supplication and sing this dolefull ditty though framed for my selfe 〈◊〉 yet fitting euery of the sonnes of Adam generally Haue Mercy vpon mee O God I call vpon thee O God at this time by the name of Elohim which purports the Trinity of Persons and not of Iehouah which denotes the Vnity of substance in the Godhead for my threefold sinne doth iustly occasion mee to fixe mine eyes vpon the Three persons distinctly Vpon thee O Father who art power against whom I haue offended by abuse of my regall Power in murdering Captaine Vriah and his whole troope Vpon thee O Sonne who art Wisedome by vsing finenesse and fraud in carrying closely and cunningly contriuing the murder Vpon thee O holy Ghost who art goodnesse whom I haue grieued by defiling my hands with blood and body with 〈◊〉 which is or should be thy temple and habitation When I implore thy great Mercie I imply my great misery The Phisick of the body must be attempered to the malady If the receipt be giuen vnder the due Dosis it may moue but it will not remoue the peccant humors Desperate diseases must haue soueraigne 〈◊〉 for meane medicines will neuer cure great griefes If the plaster bee too skant for the sore If the wound be not throughly teinted and wholy couered it will neuer bee well cured or soundly recouered As it is in the diseases and sores of he body so is it also in 〈◊〉 of the soule One deepe 〈◊〉 another the depth of sinne requires the depth of grace and a depth of misery calleth for a depth of mercy If I aske my selfe why is thy Mercy great for that there is no cause of thy mercy but thy Mercy I must answere by the effect Because thou canst 〈◊〉 my soule from the nethermost hell from such anguish of body from such perplexity of spirit from such terrors and torments as are ready to ouerwhelme mee in the pit of destruction If I aske how great is thy Mercy I must giue an answere answerelesse I know it to be meruailous great but how great it is I cannot comprehend The immensity of it I haue assayed to shadow out by such resemblances as the world affords to outward sence for the shallow conceits and weake capacities of mortall men being not able with my thoughts to reach much lesse with my tongue or penne to expresse it The height of thy mercy I 〈◊〉 to the altitude of the Heauen aboue the Earth the bredth to the distance of the East from the West the depth to the affection of parents to their children butalas these are no euen matches for that which is limited and finite hath no proportion at all with that which is vnlimited and infinite Thy Mercy O Lord is as thou art thou art great without quantity as thou art good without quality Thou art not merciful but mercy not good but goodnesse not louing but
THE PSALME OF MERCY OR A MEDITATION vpon the 51. Psalme by a true Penitent LONDON Imprinted by Felix Kyngston and are to be sold by Matthew Lownes 1625. TO MY REVEREND FRIEND Mr. IOHN DOVVNAME Bachelar in Diuinity and Preacher of Gods Word REVEREND SIR WHen first I fell into my grieuous affliction as a man surprized with a mighty Tempest I did in the midst of mine astonishment bethinke my selfe how to apply my courses to the appeasing of Gods anger whence 〈◊〉 crosse proceeded and the sauing of my perplexed soule the mayne marke whereat 〈◊〉 aymed In that case I suddainely and strongly resolued to take Gods Booke into my hand by it as by the true Card and compasse to saile safely thorow the sea of this worlds troubles in hope ioyfully in the end to arriue at the hauen of rest and true 〈◊〉 Among the bookes of holy Writ I 〈◊〉 mine eyes and thoughts specially vpon the Psalmes of Dauid which are a short and sweete 〈◊〉 of all Scripture and 〈◊〉 mysteries therein comprized Among the Psalmes I conuersed more frequently in those that are singled from the rest and stiled by a speciall title The Penitentialls as the fittest medicines for my malady which are as one saith the Anatomy of the spirit and the heart as it were of the new man True it is which I confesse ingenuously though to mine own reproach that albeit I had very often heretofore heard and red those Psalmes wherein Dauid his pangs and passions are liuely described with a kinde of 〈◊〉 delight and pleasing regret as men behold Tragedies on a stage and reade lamentable stories Yet could I not fully rellish and truly tast them whiles I liued in quietnesse and contentment nor indeed vntil I had by personall experience felt in some proportion Dauid his 〈◊〉 and wounded spirit So true is that which sundry of the Fathers haue obserued and Saint Bernard deliuers in these words You shall neuer rightly vnderstand Dauid vntill by experience you haue put on the very affections in which Dauid his Psalmes were endited for none can expresse a passion that feeles it not neither can the penne deliuer but what it copieth out of the 〈◊〉 Now being best acquainted with mine owne disabilities and defects I did 〈◊〉 chuse this Plaine-song to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 being the prime 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Penitentiall and a liuely Character of a true Mourner though shaped to the particular condition of Dauid yet fitting euery penitent sinner because it seemes to require the compunction of the heart rather then the consideration of the head an imitation rather then an interpretation an application rather then an explication This is The Psalme of Mercy by excellency so called because it beginneth with Miserere which prisoners indicted and conuicted for lesser fellonies at our Assizes and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 doe so often call and 〈◊〉 for at the Iudges hands For 〈◊〉 that can neither vnderstand nor reade the Latine tongue can say it by rote as they say and doe craue mercy in desiring to be put to reade this Psalme of mercy But without all question the most holy and iust man vpon earth had neede to beg of the great Iudge of heauen and earth that hee will 〈◊〉 to heare him read with his tongue and tune with his heart this sweete though 〈◊〉 Psalme of mercy in his daily 〈◊〉 lest he be condemned when hee comes to be arraigned at the grand Assizes When all offendors without witnesse or Iury are to be accused conuicted 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 of their own consciences 〈◊〉 not to appeare it will bee impossible and to appeare without this Psalme of mercy it will be intolerable For who is he among the sonnes of men that may not truly say with that ancient Father A sinner I am spotted with all manner of staines borne for nothing else in this life but to act repentance all my life what other person 〈◊〉 I sustaine vpon the stage of this world Vpon perusall of the Psalme and some few 〈◊〉 thereof for I did not 〈◊〉 many chewing the Cud as it were I haue cast it and them into mine own mold expressed the sense in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 plaine language and paralelling mine with Dauids perplexities applied his plaisters to my sores I 〈◊〉 with the same measure of spirit I hope with the like successe of grace If you meruaile that I being no Diuine should aduenture the conceiuing much more the publishing of a Meditation of this nature My answere is briefely That the subiect of it belongs to the art of Christianity which euery man is bound to know and not onely to the profession of Diuinity and that in absence of the Master one 〈◊〉 now and than teacheth another and he that learnes of his Schoolefellow will sometimes apprehēd it sooner from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 from his Master And I hope to suffer the more gentle censure for suffering this weake Essay to see light in this Age which is actiue in scribling and printing euen to ryot and excesse because I see mens wills of their gifts to charitable vses daily printed to incite others by their example to the like courses Why then may not any man declare publish the pious bequest of his soule as it were and set the presse on worke to expresse and record his repentance build his tombe of black-Marble erect it in the Temple of Gods people that by looking vpon 〈◊〉 Ensignes and reading the Epitaph others may be mooued as in Christian affection to condole with him so by a kinde of reflection to mourne for themselues If a man would prouide a mourning suite for his sorrowfull heart what hurt or losse were it to see diuers formes and fashions to make choyce of for patternes The more course the Stuffe and lesse curious the fashion the fitter for the grat Dueil or solemne mourning My model may better please some mourner then a better If no other vse be made The often iteration and frequent renouation of this matter 〈◊〉 vsuall and ordinary resort to houses of mourning may giue occasion to refresh and reuiue that diuine passion which should euer liue in vs till it dye with vs to wit Repentance What fruite others may reape by this my meditation I know not but sure I am that by entertayning the time and employing my thoughts vpon this subiect I haue excluded a world of idle fancies and tumultuous cogitations which otherwise would haue seized vpon me and swallowed many indignities and discontentments that would haue disturbed the peace of my soule had it not beene foreprized by an exercise of this nature as an Antidote against such poisons The cause why I present and submit it to your view and censure is not only for that I reuerence your great learning and singuler piety well knowne to our whole Church by your sundry books but specially in a recognition of the much contentment I found in that worke of yours which deseruedly beares the Title of Consolations for the afflicted or
distressed soule Wash mee wash mee againe and againe or wash me throughly from mine iniquity and cleanse mee from my sinne As my sinnes being in nature of debts are registred in thy book and set vpon thy score so like spots and staynes they blemish and deface the Image of thy diuine nature ingrauen in my soule at the Creation of it in such sort as thou canst hardly discerne it to be thy workemanship and therefore I intreate thee to wash me often and throughly that I may appeare cleane and holy in thy pure and piercing eyes There is nothing so pure O Lord as thou art in thy diuine nature nothing so foule as I am by naturall and actuall corruption Wherefore I thinke nothing too much to bring the most defiled thing on earth to the 〈◊〉 Essence in heauen and that makes me to beg againe and againe that thou wilt wash me againe and againe Sinne is filthy to thinke of more filthy to speake and heare of most filthy to act and commit there is nothing in it or any part or passage of it but vilenesse basenesse and filthinesse All the washings in thy Leuiticall Law were types and figures of this Spirituall washing in the blood of the Lambe slaine from the beginning of the world Wash me O Lord with the water of thy grace with that water whereof whoso drinketh shall neuer thirst wash mee with the water of mine owne teares with the water of thy Word with the water of thy Sacraments I know O Lord that vnlesse thou wash mee I can haue no part or portion in the. e Wherefore I beseech thee to wash not my feete onely but my head also and all the parts and members of my body yea to rince and scowre my soule and all the powers and faculties thereof that I may present both soule and body an holy and acceptable sacrifice vnto thee It is thy blessed busines O Christ to 〈◊〉 me in this worlde that thou maist render me spotlesse to thy Father in another world I sinne daily and therefore had neede of daily washing I sinne continually and therfore had 〈◊〉 of continuall washing for the word including a multiplication of washing doth imply a multiplication of sinning For if my soule lothing the filth and mire wherewith shee hath soiled her selfe euen to vglinesse take a course by the teares of contrition for the cleane washing of her face how soone doth the old dirt of sinne spurt into her visage againe So that the businesse of the soule in this life if it be a life of repentance is neuer at an end being indeed nothing else but the washing of that which is foule and the fouling of that which was washed There be as it is reported in the story of nature certain flying fishes whose wings by flying waxe dry and being dry lose their flying so as they must euer and anon returne to the Sea by the moisture thereof to enable their flight againe Euen so my soule washed in the lauer of regeneration and mounting vp towards heauen through this wicked world her wings euen her best purposes cogitations and conceptions easily grow dry by the contagion of earthly conuersation vnlesse they bee often bathed and moistened in the waters of repentance to carry her thorow to her iournies end So then my case and condition is such as in regard of many sports howerly falling and deepely staining my ill fauoured and disfigured Soule 〈◊〉 haue iust cause to pray earnestly that I may bee both often and throughly washed and by thee who canst alone make me cleane and clense me from my sinnes As I haue a great debt to be discharged much filthinesse to bee washed so haue I a loathsome Leprosie of sinne to be clensed wherefore I pray thee O Lord to clense mee from from my sinnes This Leprosie and the cure of it were shadowed out and figured also by sundry purgations clensings in thy Leuiticall law all poynting to that blood of the Lambe whereby my sinnes are purged The Leprosie as Physiicans tell vs is an hereditary disease descending from the Father to the Child An ignominious and odious disease banishing the Leper from all company a contagious disease spreading from man to man 〈◊〉 then the Plague a dull and stupid disease that makes him insensible altogether and a dangerous or rather desperate disease 〈◊〉 or not at all to be cured In all which 〈◊〉 sinne may fitly bee resembled to a 〈◊〉 for sinne comes by propagation from our first Parents to all their posterity It separates vs from thy presence from the company of thy 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of Angels and all good men It infecteth others and poyloneth not onely with the breath but with the sight of it too It benums vs so as wee feele not thy fearefull iudgements It is vtterly incurable otherwise then by the blood of the Lambe It hath been obserued that the teares of a Vine when it bleedes are a very good medicine for curing of the bodily Leprosie 〈◊〉 so the teares of the heart 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and lies lowe as doth 〈◊〉 Vine that 〈◊〉 and mournes in humility for sinne auaile much to 〈◊〉 clensing of this Leprosie of the soule My sinne as a Leprosie doth ouerspread both my soule and body from the crowne of the head to the sole of the foote from the highest faculty of my vnderstanding to the lowest affection of my will there is no sound part in mee my disease is growne to the height to full ripenesse or rather foule rottennesse it hath put out the scabbe as they say by enormious and scandalous actions Wherefore I beseech thee who art the prime and soueraigne Physician to looke vpon me with the eye of pitty and to clense and cure mee of my Leprous sinne and sinfull Leprosie 2. I know mine owne wickednesse and my sinne is euer before me or my sinne is euer against me BEfore the Prophet Nathan was sent as a speciall Bailife to summon me by a writ ad meliùs inquirendum I cast mine eye carelesly I did not fixe it fully I looked slightly and superficially as in passage not sadly and mournefully vpon my grieuous sins I did not behold them so seriously as I ought to haue done I saw but the Epitome or grosse summe of them I did not viewe them in the large volume written at length or rathere painted out as now they are in their true shapes and colours Euery man by the light of nature must needs see somewhat of this kinde in the glasse of his owne conscience but through the corruption of nature no man is willing to take a perfect suruay and make a full portraiture of his own transgressions There is in man an affected ignorance and blindnesse in this behalfe and who so blinde as he that will not see who so ignorant as hee that will not know As wee put off the euill day so long as we can so we put by the euill obiect so farre as wee may
grieuous and irkesome will the damage and disgrace be to euery or any of these respectiuely Thou O God art our Master and to serue thee is to raigne with thee Thou art our Father and what greater preeminence then to bee the Sonne of God Thou art our King and to be in subiection to thee is our chiefest dominion How then doth it concerne me being an vnfaithfull Seruant a prodigall Childe and a trayterous Subiect to beg earnestly of thee my bountifull Master my louing Father my gracious Soueraigne that thou wilt not take away thy 〈◊〉 banish me from thy fight nor expell mee from thy Courts As the soule doth excell the body and the 〈◊〉 the flesh beyond proportion so the one losse is incomparably greater then the other Thou O God art present with me by thy good Spirit and so long as I haue this Ghest in my soule I haue the fruition of thee and thy presence wherefore suffer not this noble Ghest to be dislodged and taken from mee Thou and thy Spirit are vndeuided companions If thou cast me from thy presence thou takest thy holy Spirit from me and if thou takest 〈◊〉 Spirit thou takest thy selfe from me I doe yet enioy thy presence in a sort I behold thy countenance though full of anger I feele thy Spirit within mee though sad and grieued for I find contrition in my heart confession in my mouth and confusion in my face for my grieuous offences I hate my sinnes and my selfe for my sinnes This smoake cannot ascend but from that fire of thy Spirit this fruit cannot grow but from that roote of repentance Howbeit when I behold the vglinesse of my offences with an vnpartiall eye and consider how hard harsh a thing it is for Purity and Holinesse to dwell or abide with wickednesse and filthinesse I tremble and quake in an awefull feare that thou wilt as iustly thou mayest depriue me of thy gracious presence and bereaue mee of thy blessed Spirit Lord thou art in all things by thine Essence thou art in all places and at once by thy Power and presence I may well bee asked Whither wilt thou flye from his Spirit or whither wilt thou goe from his presence c If thou shalt say The darkenesse shall couer me euen the night shall bee light about thee Yet thou canst and wilt cast me from thy presence and withdraw thy holy Spirit from me if I be settled vpon the dregs of my sinnes without remorse in contempt of thy Maiestie and abuse of thy mercie If thou in thy iust iudgement and wrathfull indignation abandon mee from thy presence thou castest me out of thy prouidence and protection thy blessed Spirit doth quite desert mee I am banished out of the land of the liuing into the Desert of desolation which is without the compasse of the whole Vniuerse that thou didst create and d'st vphold In that case happy were I to bee no more but I shall be most vnhappy to bee and continue helpelesse and hopelesse in endlesse misery Thy holy Spirit is by a speciall title stiled The Comforter by excellencie because all other comforters and comforts are cold and vncomfortable without and beside it I haue I confesse with griefe many times checked this Spirit when it hath presented good motions to my minde and good desires to my hart I haue grieued it exceedingly while I carelesly neglected and stubbornely refused the good counsell it ministred vnto me Howbeit sithence without this Comforter I must bee for euer comfortlesse in the depth of discomfort I 〈◊〉 thee not to take vtterly and finally thy holy Spirit from me Thy gifts O Lord are without repentance therefore I trust I shal neuer be without repentance whō thou louest once thou doest euer loue if thou begin thou wilt perseuere to loue Although I doe not alwayes feele the graces of thy Spirit in my sinfull soule yet I shall 〈◊〉 trust haue 〈◊〉 euer because once I had them My sinne may take away the sence and 〈◊〉 for a while but not the interest and property if I may so say which I haue in thy blessed Spirit Which notwithstanding the fruition of this Spirit being so precious and the losse of it so inualuable I cannot but in feare and anxiety of soule instantly pray that it may not be taken from me Although the seed of thy Word whereby I am begotten againe to a liuely Hope be immortall and incorruptible yet it is so choked with the weeds of fleshly desires so intangled with worldly allurements it lyeth so buried in the furrowes of my hard and stony heart as I may much doubt and in a manner distrust the shooting and springing of it vp againe without an extraordinary influence of thy heauenly grace which cannot descend vpon me vnlesse my humble and earnest prayers ascend vp to thee Wherefore retaine mee O Lord in thy fauour and permit thy blessed Spirit not onely to soiourne for a season but to remaine continually with me Let me so keepe a doore in the Sanctuary of my soule which is one of thy Courts as I may neuer suffer this Ghest to goe out of it 12 Restore vnto mee the ioy of thy saluation and vphold mee with thy firme Spirit or stablish mee with thy free Spirit I Doe not say Giue mee what I neuer had but restore vnto mee what I had and haue lost by mine owne fault and folly It is a greater fauour to restore then to giue in as much as it is a greater vnhappinesse to lose a Iewell which I had then neuer to haue had it Priuation is a greater punishment then want It is the height of misery to haue beene happy To come out of darknesse into light out of sicknesse into health out of perplexity into security out of sorrow sadnesse into ioy and gladnesse and so by the contrary to come out of cheerfulnesse into pensiuenesse sets out more liuely and causes to be felt more sensibly both the one and the other condition One contrary is a foyle vnto another We then make the tru est valuation of thy greatest mercies O Lord when we are for a time depriued of them which is one speciall cause why thou takest them from vs that by the want we may learne the worth of them and shew our selues accordingly thankefull because thou diddest vouchsafe vs the fruition of them so long and much more ioyfully imbrace and charily preserue them when thou pleasest to restore them to vs againe For as the eyes cannot discerne a goodly obiect when it is held close vnto them but when it is remoued in some distance so our vntoward vnthankfull hearts cannot iudge of the excellency and sweetnesse of present graces but when they are withdrawne a while from vs then doe we more cheerefully behold and fully obserue the riches of thy bounty mercy in them This ioy of thy saluation consisteth in an assured
hope and hopefull assurance of eternall happinesse This hope is the heart of my soule and the very life of my life It putteth spirit into my decayed spirit and vigor into my dead heart for a hopelesse is a heartlesse life and were it not for this hope amidst the inward and outward crosses of this life my very heart would breake All the ioyes vpon earth cannot make me cheerfull vntill I bee seized of this ioy nor can all the crosses and calamities which the world affoords dishearten me while I finde and feele this ioy of thy saluation What greater ioy to an afflicted soule lying 〈◊〉 oppressed vnder the heauy apprehension of thy wrathfull indignation and for a long and tedious time suffering euen hell out of hell then to receiue a gracious pardon of all his sinne freely granted vnto him by thee through the mediation of thy Christ sealed by thy blessed Spirit and deliuered to his spirit into the hand of faith Wherefore turne O Lord my mourning into dancing loose my sackcloth and gird mee with gladnesse O Lord let me shout out songs of deliuerance from the captiuity and thraldome of sinne and Satan I haue wilfully put my selfe out of possession of this ioy which I so happily enioyed O Lord restore it vnto me againe by a new order iniunction out of thy Court of equity and mercie let mee returne into it by Remitter hold it as in my former ancient right I haue iust cause to stile it Thy saluation For I am the patient onely thou O God the onely agent thou hast not the greatest share but all the interest in this affaire Thou art the sole not only Author but also actor in it For the purchase thereof I neede thy first grace of Initiation and thy second of Confirmation thy preuenient and thy subsequent grace thy accompanying and thy perseuering grace All is thy grace and thou art all in all and therefore to thee alone I ascribe all the honour and glory It is meerely and intirely thy saluation Christ his righteousnesse imputed and imparted to me is the true roote ioy and peace are the happy fruite and faith is the rooting of it in my soule Though there come a winter of affliction to restraine the sap and hinder the shewe yet the Summer of cheerefulnesse will make all to flourish againe in perfect lustre But how can I expect the serenity and Sunshine of this ioy in the valley of teares Why should I desire this garment of gladnesse when my heart ought cōtinually to weare the sables of sadnesse and the mourning weede of repentance for my daily or rather howrely sinnes how can there be any time or place left for ioy when there is almost a 〈◊〉 of sorrow enioyned He that will reconcile himselfe to thee O God may easily reconcile these different passions make them dwell together in his soule with amity and vnity Else thou that hast required mee oft-times to mourne wouldest neuer haue commanded mee to reioyce alwaies The faithfull man hath a sorrow mingled with ioy and a ioy mingled with sorrow There is a griefe in ioy as there is a ioy in griefe nay which may yet seeme more strange the greater griefe sometimes the greater ioy and the greater ioy the greater griefe for one and the same man at one and the same time may bee exceeding sorry for his sin and excceding ioyous with the apprehension of thy mercy in the free forgiuenesse of his sinne The greater griefe hee conceiueth for his sinne the more comfort he may iustly take euen in that regard And the greater ioy hee feeleth in the hopefull assurance of thy fauour the greater sorrow must hee needs conceiue for his sinne that bred thy displeasure for the more assurance hee hath of thy loue towards him the more hee will loue thee Loue is the loadstone 〈◊〉 loue and will draw loue euen from an yron heart and the more hee loueth thee the more his soule must melt into teares when he recounts considers how by his wicked and rebellious courses he hath demeaned himselfe wretchedly and vnworthily towards that God whom he findeth so graciously and pittifully affected towards him Sorrow may bee sometimes vnseasonable but this spirituall ioy as wee say of some kinde of meates is neuer out of season The precept of reioycing though conceiued in the affirmatiue doth alwaies binde at all times Reioyce in all things and euermore reioyce The grace I beg is the complement crowne and garland of all the graces I haue formerly craued For although I be washed neuer so cleane from my former staynes though my hart be neuer so throughly purged from old corruptions my spirit neuer so well renewed and rectified for the time to come yea though I obtaine a full restauration of the ioy of thy saluation which I had and haue lost yet vnlesse thou bee pleased to confirme and stablish me with thy firme and free 〈◊〉 none of those blessings apart nor all of them 〈◊〉 together can much auaile me For without this 〈◊〉 and establishment I 〈◊〉 neuer be able to 〈◊〉 and perseuere in true Piety of Religion in sincere probity of 〈◊〉 Well I may like a bankrupt Marchant supplied by friends or credit set vp my trade of godlinesse awhile but I shall soone be enforced to shut vp shop againe Well I may beginne to runne the race of godlinesse but I shall neuer get the goale well I may enter the lists afresh with my old and deadly enemy the Deuill and his two valiant Champions the World and the Flesh but I shall quickly be foyled I shall neuer 〈◊〉 the victory fully and finally Wherefore do not onely raise mee that am falne but vphold me when I am raised sustaine mee continually with thy firme Spirit that I may not onely begin well and proceed cheerefully but also perseuere constantly and end happily I did endeauour when time was in some sort to serue and please thee I frequented publike assemblies in thy holy Tabernacle I sent vp sundry Prayers from my priuate Oratory and the secret closer of my heart vnto thy Maiestie I laboured to gouerne my people with Iustice and equity to punish wilfull offenders seuerely to reward well-deseruers cheerefully to deliuer the oppressed to relieue the needy but this notwithstanding how soone alas was I taken with the sight of Bathsheba and through my frailty carried captiue into Adultery to satisfie my 〈◊〉 and into Murther to conceale my Adultery Wherefore settle confirme and establish me O Lord. I haue directed generally All you that trust in the Lord be strong and hee shall establish your heart he keepeth the faithfull and vpholdeth the iust by him alone the steps of men are established that is firmely directed and perfected My spirit which must bee wrought vpon by thy Spirit through the contagion of my flesh and the carnality of it is become almost wholly carnall and by that meanes weake and fraile soone weary of well doing it