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A34632 Burlesque upon burlesque, or, The scoffer scoft being some of Lucians dialogues, newly put into English fustian for the consolation of those who had rather laugh and be merry, then be merry and wise. Cotton, Charles, 1630-1687.; Lucian, of Samosata. Dialogi. 1675 (1675) Wing C6380A; ESTC R355 59,158 210

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and stink to boot Not hindred but thou took'st delight Both in his service and his sight Jupit. Thou dreadful scold thy din surcease And if thou can'st once hold thy peace Thy Jealousie does but improve My indignation and my Love Let Vulcan serve thee as he did If thou dislikest Ganimed But hang me if I drink a sup Unless my Boy present the Cup. Nay at each draught I 'le tell thee more Hee'st give me kisses half a score Come come my pretty Favourite Do not thou whimper for her spite Let who dares vex my Boy thou 'st see I 'le order'um I warrant thee DIALOGUE Juno and Jupiter Juno NOw Jupiter that none is near us To hearken or to over-hear us Tell me I prethee and be clear What think'st thou of this Ixion here Jupit. Why I think Ixion wife true-blew An honest man as e're I knew A sturdy piece of flesh and proper A merry Grig and a true Toper Nor had I but I thought him so Made so much on him as I do Neither but that I understood His Company was very good Had I be sure been so affable As to admit him to my Table Juno See see how one may be deceiv'd 'T is odds I shall not be believ'd But Ixion is without offence The sawci'st piece of insolence That ever came within thy doors And fitter mate for Rogues and Whores By much than Jupiter for thee Or any of thy Family Nay fitter for his former pranks As well as these the Hang-mans thanks As he now handled has the matter Than put his spoon into thy platter Yet thou may'st entertain him still Only to Gourmandize and swill But for my part I 'le ne're endure him Nor shall he stay here I 'le assure him Jupit. What has he done to move thee thus Come prethee now be serious And tell me true nay quickly do it For I am resolute to know it Juno What has he done why 't is so wicked That truly I 'me asham'd to speak it Jup. What with some Goddess hee 'd have been Playing belike at In and In And would be at the Rutting sport For so thy words seem to import Juno Well and do'st thou conceive that fit That thou do'st make so light of it Is that no fault nay could he yet A Crime more capital commit That 's it indeed th' ast hit upon 't And greater still to make th' affront No body else could serve the Youth But even I my self forsooth I did not heed his love at first Not dreaming that the Rascal durst Have aim'd at me but at the last Observing what Sheeps-eyes he cast What sighs he fetch 't how now and then He wept and sigh't and wept agen Drank after me and then would leer And kiss the Cup I then saw clear Though ne're before I did suspect it His folly was to me directed Yet still I thought time would blow over This humor of my sawcy Lover Wherefore though vext I thus long drove it Asham'd I swear to tell thee of it Till now at last the sawcy Ass Has put on such a brazen face As without all respect to be So bold as to solicit me But now to speak 't is more than time When to conceal it were a crime And therefore flying from his tears And stopping with both hands both ears From being guilty Auditors Of what my Vertue so abhors I straight came running unto thee Fast as my leggs would carry me To tell thee how this Goat this Satyr This Rogue this Slave this Fornicator Whom thou hast entertain'd and fed Attempts the honor of thy Bed To th' end thou may'st the Whelp chastise In just and exemplary wise Jupit. This is a daring Rogue I swear T' attempt to cuckold Jupiter It was the Nectar in his pate That did this insolence create But I my self I must confess Am cause of these miscarriages By over-loving Mortals so Extravagantly as I do And by permitting them to be Over-familiar and too free With my Divinity and me He else had ne're attempted thee For 't is no wonder when they eat The very same provoking meat And liquor drink the blood that fires If they have then the same desires And quite forgetting then their duties Are sinitten with immortal Beauties Besides thou know'st as well as I So much of Cupids Tyranny So great no Tyrant here above is Near as that little Bastard Love is Juno He master is of thee indeed And thee still by the nose does lead As the old saying is and makes Thee play a thousand sensless sreaks But come I faith I faith I know What makes thee pity Ixion so To pardon him thou art inclin'd 'Cause he but pays thee in thy kind Time was thou his wife did'st dishonor And gatt'st Perithoüs upon her Jupit. Fie will that never be forgot Come I 'le acquaint thee with my plot It would to banish him appear A sentence somewhat too severe His being o're head and ears in love Does I confess my pity move Since therefore he 's so woe begun So sighs and cries and so takes on I tell thee plain I do protest Things being thus I think it best Juno What that I lye with him I warrant Jupit. Do'st think I am a sot so errant No I 'me not so kind to him neither I prethee hold thy leggs together That 's more than will be well allow'd But I will dizen him a Cloud So like to thee as shall perswade him He has made me what I have made him And that in pure commiseration In part to satisfie his passion Juno Why this will be for to reward him For what thou should'st at least discard him Jupit. But speak in pure sincerity What harm will this do thee or me Juno Why he will think it me that 's flat Then I shall pass for I know what Jupit. No matter what 's by him believ'd 'T is only he will be deceiv'd And if a Cloud like thee I make No Juno 'tis but a mistake And he by this my pretty cheat A race of Centaurs shall beget Juno But if as now adayes thou know'st Men are too apt to make their boast This Rogue so soon as he has done As they all do should straight-way run And publish to the world that he Has had his filthy will of me Pray after such a fine Oration Where then were Juno's reputation Jup. Should he do such a thing as that I 'de teach the Rascal how to prate And if he needs must kiss and tell I 'le kick him headlong into Hell Where to a wheel he shall be bound And like a Mill-horse still turn round And never have a moments rest Nor thence shall ever be releast Juno If he do prove so damn'd a Dog 'T will be but Justice on the Rogue DIALOGUE Vulcan and Apollo Apollo GOod speed of fire thou sooty King I ever hear thy Anwoile ring Thy smoak still mounts from Aetna hill I think thy Bellows ne're lye still Surely it costs thee much