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A25808 A pleasant comedie, entituled Hey for honesty, down with knavery translated out of Aristophanes his Plutus by Tho. Randolph, augmented and published by F.J. Randolph, Thomas, 1605-1635.; Jaques, Francis, fl. 1642. 1651 (1651) Wing A3685; ESTC R7554 59,602 54

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me O this grinds me to peece•… Tail O 't is the worst stitch that was ever sowed with the needle of misfortune O iron age that like the Ostrich makes me feed on my own Goose Shoo. O this false Cordwainer Plutus that stretches the leather of my flesh on the Tree of fatality that unmercifully puts me into the Stocks of adversity and gives me no relief at the Last Tail Nay he has made me so slender that I can measure me by my own Yard three quarters quarter and half nail This crosse-leg'd infelicity sharper then my needle makes me eat my own Cabbage Shoo. Nothing but a general insurrection like a shooing-horn can draw on help Let us combine and patch together Om. Agreed agreed Exeum Enter Dull-pate solus It is a signe Plutus has lost his eyes when Dull-pates grow rich if my name had not been Dull-pate I had lost half my preferment It is thought J have as many Ecclesiastical Livings as Spalato had in England Never a fat Benefice falls now adayes but J catch it up J can have 'um now without lustful Simony in taking Bishops kinswomen in•…o the bargain J have often wondred how it comes about that my head is so black but the hairs of my chin gray A merry fellow once told me 't was because I used my chops more then my brains T is true indeed I fare well because J was born under a rich Constellation but the learned sort under a poor Psanct As for example here comes the Pope Iupiters Vicat blesse thy wicked Holinesse thou the Devil Cardinal Richli•…u and the French faction at Court have brought all the wars into England Enter Pope selus Pope VVho can instruct me which is Chremylus house Dul. Grave reverend Father 〈◊〉 's the 〈◊〉 with you How does your 〈◊〉 Pop. Ill as ill may 〈◊〉 Since Plutus eye-sight is restored Dul. VVhat is the cause of this your heavinesse Doth the proud Emperor refuse to kisse Your sacred toe or does it vex your Bonnyface To lose your Peter-pence what is the cause Great catholique Bishop Monarch of the Church The supreme Judge Ecclesiastical That you are thus perplext why do you not curse •…m VVith your Bell Book and Candle that molest you Pop. O J am dead with hunger a saucy hunger VVith heresie as bad as Arrianisme Knawes on my sacred guts J the great father And Prince of Rome have not a crust Not a brown crust to knaw on Iove's own Vicar Nay Iove himself on earth would beg on knees For one small peece of Sawsedge This sad morn For a broil'd Sprat J paun'd my triple crown And now for one Red-herring will J morgage All Peters large possessions Dul. Aha great Pope can your Pontificial teeth Be glad to gnaw upon a catholique Tripe Can your great metropolitan stomach feed On a Hogs-cheek 't is strange me thinks that you Being the universal Bishop should not Have one poor porredge-pot in all your Diocesse Never a soule in Limbo ready fryed Is all the Roast in Purgatory spent Are all your Bulls devoured faith kill a Bull Good Pope a Bull to make your Holinesse Beef There must be meat somwhere or other sure Or can you open heaven hell at pleasure And cannot Peters Keyes unlock the Cupboard VVhy sure our Ladies milk is not all spent No Reliques left nor chips o th' Crosse to feed on Sure at 〈◊〉 or •…t Compostella None of the Capuchins at Somerset house How can it be an 't please your Holinesse Pop. O no since Plutus hath received his eyes Indulgencies are grown cheap at no price An absolution for a Rape made now Is nothing worth Give me but one poor crust before J faint And J will canonize thee for a Saint Dul. Or let me purchase for a Muttonbone Your Apostolical benediction Pop. A messe of Broth or rib of Beef from thee •…n my esteem shall meritorious be Dul. Nay J will have it more such a donation Shall be a work of supererogation Pop. O how J thirst Dul. M•… reverende Pater cannot you drink a cup of Holy-water Now you that could drink Tyber dry and more Cannot obtain a Jug upon the score Go try they 'll hardly trust you for a drop At the Popes-head Mitre or Ca•…dinals-Cap Or any place t is mony draws the tap Pop. So irreligious are these ages grown They think it charity to rob the Clergy How comes it that you dare with impudence Deny the Priests their tithes Dul. O easily sir A learned Antiquary that has search't The breech of Saturn for Antiquities Proves by a reason an infallible reason VVith bugle-horn writ in the Saxon tongue That neither praedial nor personall tithes Are due ex jure divino and you know The Clergie Bishops your old quondam Patrons Are voted down too and ever since w' have learnt A liberty of Conscience to pay no tithes We hear some teach too they are An•… christian Like Steeple-houses hence we learn to be Too cunning now for your Apostolique See Pop. Now worms devoure that Antiquaries nose And those that preach against all Steeple-houses That powre in papers half consumed with Mothes To prove some absurd opinions fain'd to be Found in the wals of some old Nunnery But ô my guts wish for a Benedicite Dull VVilt please your holinesse to call a Synod You may chance to catch trowt•… in the Councel of Trent Pop. O I do smel the scent of Pipp•…n-pies Dull You do indeed your Holinesse Nose I see Has the true spirit of Infallibility I finde you cannot erre VVhat would you do To be of our house now to have free-quarter Pop. I would resigne my right to heaven and hell Dull Ti-he-he well said good Pope I•…nocent But that 's too much resign your heaven only Retain your right to hell your title there Is held 〈◊〉 VVell now Stay here a whil•… 〈◊〉 sing a merry song As we to Plutus go and I will free Thy guts from the Purgatory of fasting Enter Anus An. Is this the Pope Goddy godden good Father I do not come unto thy Holinesse To beg a Licence to eat flesh on Fridaies But I desire thy Apostolical Curse On a young man that has abused me grosly May it please thy Catholicknesse the perjur'd Boy Swore to lie with me while he lived but he Grown rich does think to buy out perjury Now good your Holinesse give him not absolution Pop. VVould he were here for three pence I could sell him A g•…neral remission of his sins I am almost famisht for want of customers Dull Go woman fetch the Quire in for sacrifice But bid them bring no Copes nor Organs with them And I will get his Holinesse to command him To ly with thee this night what •…re come on 't It is enjoyn'd him for his pennance is' t not An. It is an 't please your Holinesse Pop. Any thing shall please my holinesse if you give me But the least hopes to feed my Holinesse T is a