alone to driue sheepe before they haue them or to Trundle cheeses downe a hill So saluting you with more prespect then the Mayor of Loo did the Queenes Ape I take leaue to leaue you and rest yours to bid you welcome if you came within a mile of my house to stay all night Yours Rolihaytons To Nobody VPon a Christmas Euen somewhat nigh Easter anon after Whitsuntide walking in a Coach from London to Lambeth by water I ouertooke a Man that met me in the morning before Sun set the wind being in Capricorne the Signe Southwest with silence I demanded many questions of him and he with much pensiuenesse did answer me merrily to the full with such ample and empty replications that both our vnderstaÌ„dings being equally satisfied we contentiously agreed to finish and prosecute the narratio of the Vnknowne Knight Sir Gregory Nonsence so sitting downe vpon our shoulders resting vneasily on a banke of Sicamors vnder a tree of Odoriferous and contagious Camomile after three sighs smilingly vttered in the Hebrew Character two grones from the Chaldean Dialact fiue sobs from the Arabian Sinquapace sixe dum ps from the Germane Idiome nine Moods of Melancholly from the Italian tongue with one hub hub from the Hibernian outcry And last he laughed in the Cambrian tongue began to declare in the Vtopian speech what I haue here with most diligent negligence Translated into the English Language in which if the Printer hath placed any line letter or sillable whereby this large volume may be made guilty to be vnderstood by any man I would haue the Reader not to impute the fault to the Author for it was farre from his purpose to write to any purpose so ending at the beginning I say as it is ap plawsefully written and commended to posterity in the Midsummer nights dreame If we offend it is with our good will we came with no intent but to offend and shew our simple skill Rolihayton The names of such Authors Alphabetically recited as are simply mentioned in this Worke. AMadis de Gaul Archy Arms. Beuis of Hampton Boe to a Goose. Charing Crosse. Coakley Dunsmore Cow Dauy Wager Euanwich Muffe Friâ—r and the boy Fubs his Trauels Garagonâ—ua Gammon of West phallia Grigs Granam Hundred merry tales Huon of Burdeux Iacke Drum Knight of the Sunne Knaue of Diamonds Lanum Long Meg. Mad Mawlin No body O toole Proofes of OOOO Quinborough Oysters Ready money Shooters Hill Singer Sir Thomas Persons Tarleton Tom Derry Tom Thumbe Vnguentum Album Will Summers Wit whither wilt thou Woodcocke of our side Xampelloes Quiblines Yard of Ale Zany on tumbling SIR GREGORY NONSENCE HIS NEWES FROM NO PLACE IT was in Iune the eight and thirtieth day That I imbarked was on highgate Hill After discourteous friendly taking leaue Of my young Father Madge and Mother Iohn The Wind did ebbe the tide flou'd North Southeast We hoist our Sailes of Colloquintida And after 13. dayes and 17. nights With certaine Hiroglyphiâ—ke houres to boot We with tempestuous calmes and friendly stormes â—plit our maine top-mast close below the keele â—ut I with a dull quicke congruity â—ook 19. ounces of the Westerne winde And with the pith of the pole Artichocke Saild by the flaming Coast of Trapezond There in a Fort of melting Adamant Arm'd in a Crimson Robe as blacke as Iet I saw Alcides with a Spiders thred â—ead Cerberus to the Prononticke Sea Then cutting further through the marble Maine â—â—ongst flying Buls and 4. leg'd Turkicocks A dâ—mbe faire spoken welfac'd aged youth Sent to me from the stout Stimphalides With tonguelesse silence thus began his speech â—â—ustrious flap-iacke to thy hungry doome Low is the ground I eleuate my cause As I vpon a Gnat was riding late In quest to parley with the Pleiades I saw the Duke of Hounsditch gaping close â—n a greene Arbour made of yellow starch Betwixt two Brokers howling Madrigales A Banquet was semed in of Lampraieâ— bones Well pickel'd in the Tarbox of old time When Demogorgon saild to Islington Which I perceiuing with nine chads of steele Straight flew vnto the coast of Pimlico â—T ' informe great Prester Iohn and the Mogull What exlent Oysters were at Billingsgate The Mogull all inraged with these newes Sent a blacke snaile post to Tartaria To tell the Irishmen in Saxony The dismal downefall of old Charing Crosse. With that nine butter Firkins in a flame Did coldly rise to Arbitrate the cause Guessing by the Sinderesis of Wapping Saint Thomas Watrings is most ominous For though an Andiron and a paire of Tongs May both haue breeding from one teeming womb Yet by the Calculation of Pickt-hatch Milke must not be so deere as Muskadell First shall Melpomene in Cobweb Lawnâ— Adorne great Memphis in a Mussell boat And all the muses clad in Robes of Ayre Shall dance Leuoltons with a Whirligig Faire Pluto shall descend from Brazen Dis And Poliphensus keepe a Seamsters shop The I le of Wight shall like a diue-dapper Deuoure the Egyptian proud Piramides Whilst Cassia Fistula shall gurmundize Vpon the flesh and bloud of Croydon cole dust Then on the bankes of Shoreditch shall be seene What 't is to serue the great Vtopian Queene This fearefull period with great ioyfull care Was heard with acclamations and in fine The whilst a lad of aged Nestors yeeres Stood sitttng in a Throne of massy yeast Not speaking any word gaue this reply Most conscript Vmpire in this various Orbe I saw the Caedars of old Lebanoâ— Read a sad Lecture vnto Clapham heath At which time a strange vision did appeare His head was Buckrum and his eyes were sedge His armes were blue bottles his teeth were straw His legs were nine wel squar'd Tobacco Pipes Cloath'd in a garment all of Dolphins egges Then with a voyce erected to the ground Lifting aloft his hands vnto his feet He thus beganne Cease friendly cutting throtes Clamor the Promulgation of your tongues And yeeld to Demagorgons policy Stop the refulgent method of your moodes For should you liue old Paphlagonias yeeres And with Sardanâ—pâ—lus match in vertue Yet Airoâ—os will with a Marigold Runne through the Mountains of the Caspian Sea When you shall see aboue you and beneath That nothing kils a man so soone as death Aquarius ioyn'd with Pisces in firme league With Reasons and vindictiue Arguments That pulueriz'd the King of Diamonds And with a diogoricall relapse Squeaz'd through the Sinders of a Butterflye Great Oberon was mounted on a Waspe To signifie this newes at Dunstable The Weathercock at Pancrage in a fume With Patience much distracted hearing this Repli'd thus briefly without feare or wit What madnesse doth thy Pericranion seaze Beyond the Dragons taile Artyphilax Think'st thou a Wolfe thrust through a sheep-skin gloue Can make me take this Gobling for a Lambe Or that a Crocadile in Bariy broth Is not a dish to feast don Belzebub Giue me a Medler in a field of blue Wrapt vp stigmatically in a dreame And I
he wrong'd him whilst he liu'd And after death is Eâ—â—â—â—â— dâ—â—m'd To be of liue lesse sencelâ—â—sie limbs depria'd If this be true none will deny I hope That Enuie is ingâ—aâ—ted in the Pope r It is too true that the Pope enuying the glory of other Princes hath by fraud of sorce gotten all the earthly glory to â—â—â—â—â—â— Pope Stephen the 6 caused the deâ—d body of â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— â—â—â— to be digged vp to be cut and mangled and cast into the Riuer Tyber Epigram 23. HE whose fierce s Those that remember the powder Treasonâ—â—â— tell if I lyâ—â—â—â—â— not besides many horrible murâ—hers committed by Popes which â—â— are extant in many learned Authors of their owne sect Wrath with bloudy ragâ—â—doth swell That cakes delight in â—â—aughtering Gods â—â—â— He that is sworne the Champion of Hell That Wrath and Murther onely doth effect He whose combuâ—â—â—ous all deuouring ire Depopulates and layes whole Empires waste Whose Wrath like a consuming quenchlâ—â—le fire Hath blessed peace from Châ—stendome dâ—â—plac't If I should need one skild in Wrath and Murther His Holinesse commands me goe no further Epigram 24. VVHO dares for t it is a pittifull pining gluttonâ—us fast to refraine ficâ—h and eate all manner of fish and other Delicates which they cause to swim in their bellâ—es with the strongest Wine which makes his Holinesse and all his crew to looke as leaue as so many Brawnes styed vp against Christmas Glutony the Pope accuse Or ' gunst voluptuous dyet make complaintsâ—â— His Holinesse so many Fasts doth vse As Lâ—nts and Fasting dayes and Eeucs of Saints Yet where Pride Lust and Auarice are found Heart gnawing Enuie and fell murthering Wraâ—â—â— There rauenous Gluttoxy must needs abound Else other vices will be out of breath For Papists Fasts are generally more deare Then Feasts of Protestants with all their cheare Epigram 25. THose u I meane the seuen deadly sinnnes liberall Sciences in number soanen Began with Pride ends with drowsie Slâ—â—â—b Yet Christs command vnto the Apostles giuen Was feed my sheepe that faith in them haue growth Now I suppose the feeding of Christs flocke Is truly Preaching of his sacred word x His Holinesse knowes â—â— should feed the Sheepe of Christ with such food as he comâ—â—â—ded they would soone finde out his knauery Which word 's the Key that opes the heauenly locke Which y If the Pope â—â—â—â—â—â— this sword to be drawne it would cut his throat and â—â—â—â—â—â—â—es both Sword and Word his Holinesse doth hoord Which drawne cuts his throat and the Diuels both For scare of which he lets it sleepe in sloath The beliefe of a Romane Catholske Epigram 26. I Doe beleeue the holy Pope of Rome Is Lord of z I would wish that this were not so but I need not stand long is perswading men to beleeue it for their owne Authors will teâ—â—â—â—this and a hundred times more Scriptures Fathers Church and all Of Councels of the world whose dreadfull doome Can at his pleasure make all rise or fall I doe beleeue though God forbids the same That I should worship Images and Saints I hope by mine owne workes I heauen may claime â—â— tongues vnknown I must make praiers plaints I doe beleeue Christs bodie made of bread And may be eaten by Dogs Cats or Mice Yet is a sacrifice for quicke and dead And may be bought and sold for rated price I further doe beleeue the Pope our Lord â—â—n at his pleasure all my sinnes forgiue I doe beleeue at his commanding * I thinke as you thinke â—â—â—â— thinke you word Subiects must Kings of liues and land depriue Like as the Church beleues so I beleeue By which I hope the Heauens I shall atchieue Epigram 27. LIke as the Vipers birth 's his mothers bane So the Popes full hath been the Emperors wane The Empires Autumne was the Popish Spring And Kings subiection made the Pope a King Then did his Holinesse become a God When Princes children-like gan feare his rod. Whil'st earthly Potentates their owne did hold Thâ—â— Popes then Shepheard-like did keepe their fold And fore the sacred truth should be o'ercome They willingly would suffer Martyrdome But farewell Martyrs nows and welcome Myters For painefull Preachers now contentions fighters With bloud or gold ascends â—he Papall Chayre Vnder the title of Saint Peters heyre I thinke if truth were brought vnto the tryall The Pope is heyre to Peter in denyall But want of penitence proclaimes him base A Bastard not of Pâ—â—ers blesied race Vnlesse when Christ did call th' Apostle diuell He 's Bastard to the good and heyre to th' euill Epigram 28. MEâ— thinkes I heare a swarme of Romaniâ—â—â— Reuile and curse with Candle Booke Beâ—lâ— Yea all the polâ—eshorne crew of Antichrists Condemnes me all without remorse to Hell But I with resolution so doe arme me Their blessings doe no good nor cuâ—sings harme me Epigram 29. I That haue rowed from Tyber vnto Thames Not with a Sculler but with Scull and braâ—â—â— If none will pay my Fare the more 's their shames I am not first vnpaid that hath tane paâ—nes Yet I le bee bold if payment be delay'd To say and sweare your Sculler is not pay'd To his approued good friend Master Robert Branthwayt DEere friend to thee I owe a countlesse dâ—bt Which though I euer pay will ne're be pay'd T is not base coyne subiect to cankers â—â—â—t If so in time my debt would be defray'd But this may debt I would haue all men know Is loue the more I pay the more I owe. I.T. To his well esteemed friend Master Maximilian Waad VVlt Learning Honesty and all good parts Hath so possest thy body and thy minde That couetously thou steal'st away mens hearts Yet'gainst thy theft there 's neuer none repin'd My heart that is my greatest worldly pelse Shall euer be for thee as for my selfe I.T. To my friend Master William Sherman THou that in idle adulating words Canst neuer please the humours of these dayes That greatest workes with smallest speech affords Whose wit the rules of Wisedomes lore obeyes In few words then I wish that thou maist be As well belou'd of all men as of me I.T. FINIS Epigram 1. ALl you that stedfastly doe fixe your eye Vpon this idle issue of my braine Who void of any intricate disguise Describes my meaning rusticall and plaine My Muse like â—â—phus with roylesome trade Is euer working yet hath neuer done Though from â—â— Rom. â—â—â— Sea she well gan wade Yet is her labour as 't were neâ— begun For hauing at the Papists had a sling Great Britaâ—â—es vice or vertues now I sing Epigram 2. THen cause I will not hug my selfe in sinne First with my selfe I meane for to begin Confessing that in me there 's nothing good My vaines are full of sinne-polluted bloud Which all my corps insects with helâ—-boâ—â—â— crimes Which make my actions lawlesse like these times That had I power
them with his eye Ah wofull London I thy griefe bewayle And if my sighes and prayers may but preuaile â—â—mbly beg of God that hee 'le be pleas'd â—â— Iesus Christ his wrath may be appear'd With-holding his dread Iudgements from aboue And once more graspe thee in his armes of loue In mcrcy all our wickednes remit â—â—r who can giue thee thankes within the piâ— Strange was the change in lesse then 3-months space â—ioy in woe in grace and in disgrace â—healthfull Aprill a diseased Iune â—nd dangerous Iuly brings all out of tune â—hat City whose rare obiects pleas'd the eyes With much content and more varieties â—â—â— that was late delightfulâ— to the eares With melody Harmonious like the Spheares She that had all things that might please the scent And all she felt did giue her touch content Her Cinque Port scences richly fed and cloyd With blessins bountifull which she enioy'd Now 3-monthes change hath fill'd it full of feare As if no Solace euer had beene there What doe the Eyes see there but grieued sights Of sicke oppressed and distressed wights Houses shut vp some dying and some dead Some all amazed flying and some fled Streets thinly man d with wretches euery day Which haue no power to flee or meanes to stay In some whole streete perhaps a Shop or twayne Stands open for small takings and lesse gaine And euery closed window dore and stall Makes each day seeme a solemnt Festiuall Dead Coâ—â—es carried and recarried still Whilst â—â—ty Corpâ—es scarce one graue doth fill With LORD HAVE MERCIE VPON VS on the dore Which though the words be good doth grieue men sore And o're the doore-posts fix'd a crosse â—â—ed Betol-â—ning that there Death some blood hath shed Some with Gods markes or Tâ—kens doe espte These Marks or Takens shew them they must die Some with their Carbuncles and sores new burst Are fed with hope they haue escap'd the worst Thus passeth all the weeke till Thuedayes Bill Shewâ—vs what thousands death that weeke did kil That fatal Rel doth like a razor cut The dead tl â—â—uing in a maze doth put And he that hath a Christian heart I know Is grieud and wounded with the deadly blow These are the obieâ—s of the Eye now heare And marke the mournefull musicke of the Eare There doe the brazen Iron tongu'd loud bells Deaths clamorous musicke ring continuall knells Some losty in their notes some sadly towling Whilst fatali dogs made a most dismall how ling a Thus it was in Iune Iuly August and September Some frantickâ— raâ—ing some with anguish crying Some singing praying groaning and some dying The healthfull grieuing and the sickly groaning All in mournefull diapâ—ten mâ—aning Here Parents for their Childrens loâ—â—e lament There Childrens griefe for Parents life that 's spent Husbands deplore their louing Wines decease Wines for their Husbands weepe remedilesse The Brother for his Brother friend for friend Doe each for other mutuall sorrowes spend Here Sister mournes for Sister Kin for Kin As one grife ends another doth begin There one lies languishing with slender fare Small comfort lesse attendance and least care With none but Death and he to tugge together Vntill his corps and soule part each from either In one house one or two or three doth fall And in another Death playes sweepe-stake all Thus vniuersall sorrowfull complaining Is all the musicke now in London raigning Thus is her comfort sad Calamitie And all her Melodie is Maladie These are the obiects of the eyes and eares Most wofull sights and sounds of griefes and feares The curious rast that while me did delight With cost and care to please the Appetite What she was went to hate she doth adore And what 's high priz'd she held despis'd before The drugs the drenches and vntoothsome drinks Feare giues a sweetnes to all seuerall stinks And for supposed Anudotes each Palate Of most contagious weedes will make a Sallate And any of the simplest Mountebankes May cheat them as they will of Coine thankes With scraped pouder of a shooing-home Which they 'le beleeue is of an Vmcorne Angelicacs distastfull roote is gnaw'd And hearbe of Grace most Ruefully is chaw'd Garlick offendeth neither tast nor smell Feare and opinon makes it rellish well Whilst Beazer stone and mighty Mitbridate To all degrees are great in estimate And Triacles power is wonderously exprest And Dragon Water in most high request These 'gainst the Plague are good preseruatiue But the best cordiall is t' amend our liues Sinne 's the maine cause and we must first begin To cease our griefes by ceasing of our sinne I doe beleeue that God hath giuen in store Good medcines to cure or case each fore But first remoue the cause of the disease And then no doubt but the effect will cease Our sinn's the Cause remoue our sinnes from hence And God will soone remoue the Pestileace Then euery medicine to our consolation Shall haue his power his force his operation And till that time experiments are not But Paper walls against a Cannon shot On many a post I see Quacke-sainers Bills Like Fencers Challenges to shew their skills As if they were such Masters of defente That they date combat with the Pestilence Meete with the plague in any deadly fray And bragge to beare the victory away But if then patients pariently beleeue them They 'le cure them without faile of what they giue them What though ten thousands by their dreÌ„ches perish They made them parposely themselues to cherish Their Art is a meere Artlesse kind of lying To picke their liuing out of others dying This sharpe inucctiue no way seemes to touch The learn'd Physician whom I honour much The Paracelsians and the Galennists The Philosophicall graue Herbahsts These I admire and reuerence for in those God doth dame Natures secrets fast inclose Which they distribute as occasion serue Health to reserue and health decai'd conserue 'T is 'gainst such Rat-catchers I bend my pen Which doe mechanically murther men Whose promises of cure like lying knaues Doth begger men or send them to their graues a Feeling Now London for the sence of feeling next Thou in thy feeling chiefely art perplext Thy heart feeles sorrow and thy body anguish Thou in thy feeling feel'st thy force to languish Thou feelst much woe and much calamity And many millions feele thy misery Thou feel st the fearefull Plague the Flix and Feur Which many a soule doth from the body suter And I beteech God for our Sauiours merit To let thee feele the Comfort of his Spirit Last for the solace of the b Smeling smell or â—â—â—â— Some in contagious roomes are closely penâ— Whereas corrupted Aire they take and giue Till time ends or lends liberty to liue One with a piece of tasseld well tarr'd Rope Doth with that nose-gay keepe himselfe in hope Another deth a wispe of worme-wood pull And with great Iudgement crams his nostrils full A third takes off his socks from 's sweating
pretences vnder the inchanting and various colours of pleasure profit estimation loue reputation and many more the like But of all the e Mrithmetiske Arts I thinke shee bee most vnperfect in Arithmeticke for though she hath beene brought vp to know Diuisions and Multiplications yet she hath traded but by Retaile altogether in Fractions and broken Numbers so that her accounts were seldome or neuer to number her dayes not caring for the past or the future her minde like a Dyall alwayes fixed vpon the present giuen much to ouer and vnder-reckonings for at forty yeeres old she would be but twenty one and at threescore she will be no lesse then fourescore so that the marke being out of her mouth wee must take the Apocryphall account of her age from her owne Arithmeticke without any further warrant Cornelius Agrippa approues a Bawd for an excellent Geometrician for deuising engines to climbe into windowes as Ladders of Ropes or such like to scale the Castle of comfort in the night or the making of Picklockes or false keyes wherein the Bawds care and prouidence is great in greazing and oyling lockes bolts and hinges to auoid noise shee knowes her Angles Triangles Quadrangles squares rounds circles semicircles and centers her altitudes longitudes latitudes and demensions yet for all this skill of hers she hath much adoe to liue squarely according to Geometricall rules or to liue within any reasonable Compasse As for Musicke It is to be coniectured by her long practice in prickesong that there is not any note aboue Ela or below Gammoth but she knowes the Diapason a Bawd is old dogge at a hornepipe her chiefest instrument is a Sackbut her female minikins doe bring in her meanes and her trebles the tenor of all is that her selfe is the Base Besides there are many pretty prouocatory dances as the kissing dance the cushin dance the shaking of the sheets and such like which are important instrumentall causes whereby the skilfull hath both clyents and custome Poetry many times though she vnderstand it not doth her as good seruice for the most of our great Bawds are diligently waited on by scurrilous oylie sonneting practicall Poeticall a Geometry b Musicke d Poetry Panegyricall Panders quaint trencher Epigrammatists hungry and needy Anagraâ—â— mongers their conceits being either commending or prouoking Bawdry as one being requested by a Gentleman to inuent him a poesie for a Ring which hee ment to giue his Loue the conceit was Haue you any Logges to cleaue Painting and grauing are now and then profitable seruants to Bawds as the naked Pictures of Venus and Diana and her darlings Aretine and diuers other in that kinde can testifie but commonly all she Bawds are or haue beene painters themselues or painters of themselues by which bold practice they are bold aduenturous impudent and audacious fearing no colours As for Physicke and Chirurgery shee hath beene so much practis'd vpon that by long continuance shee 's a most excellent Empericke so that a man need not doubt but an ancient professed Bawd can play the Mountebanke Moreouer many old Bawds are skil'd in Palmestry or Chiromancy by looking into the hand of a man or woman or Phisiognomy and Metoposcopi in viewing of the face or forehead by which shee professeth to tell the parties how many husbands or wiues they shall haue how long they shall liue when they are neere a good or bad turne but aboue all her skill is much credited to helpe yong women breed and fructifie so that if shee be as barren as a Stockfish yet the matronly medicines and instructions of this wise cunning woman will iâ— a little time make her encrease with a vengeance and multiply with a mischiefe Besides her skill in these forenamed Arts and sciences she hath an insight and practice into all Mysteries and manuall trades she caâ— imitate a deceitfull Mercer in setting out her ware faire to the eye and false in the dye with an outside of glorious glosse and an inside of rotten decayed drosse more for pride or pleasure then for prouidence or profit a Painting b Physicke and Chirurgerie c Taimâ—â— and Fortune-telling d Mercer Like a bold a Grocer Grocer she cares not a Figge for any man she knows flesh is fraile yet she hath many Reasons to liue by she runs her race long and she is able to Pepper as many as haue any dealing with her tooth Lickorish tongue Lickorish c. shee knowes a bribe to a Catchpole is as sufficient as an Almond for a Parrot to free her from the heate of the Mace Master Cloue at the signe of the Sugar-loafe is a sweet youth whose Candied Visitation will keepe her estate Currant till age and diseases weare her quite out of date b Draper A yong rich heire newly come to his lands or portion is a Bawds Broadcloth whom shee measures out in parts I will not tell you with what yard but I thinke no London measure till in the end onely a poore remnant remaines her meaner Merchandise are tradesmen and poore seruing-men these serue for course Kerseyes Bayes Cottons and Pennistones to line her inside with Sacke hot waters and Aqua vitae Though she liue after the flesh all is c Fishmongers and Fishermen Fish that comes to the net with her shee is a cunning Angler and gets her liuing by hooke or by crooke shee hath baits for all kind of Frye A great Lord is her Groneland Whale a Countrey Gentleman is her Gods-head a rich Citizens sonne is her sows'd Gurnet or her Gudgeâ—n A Puritan is her Whitingmop her Lobster is a scarlet Townsman and a seuere Iustice of Peace is her Crab her meanest customers are Sprats and Pilchards whilest the Puncke is her salt Eele and the Pander her Sharke and Sword-fish And though shee deale most in Scorpio yet shee holds correspondency with Pisces for they both are signes that attend vpon Venus Fryday is her day and a day of doome to more fish then all the dayes in the weeke beside And fish by nature is prouocatory as appeares by the chaste liues of fasting fish-eating Fryers and Nuns whose notorious qusia meritorious continency is touched partly afore Shee differs from the d Goldsmith Goldsmith in the Tutch the Test and the weight yet she puts the best side of her ware outward shee casts and hammers her wenches into all fashions thee hath them burnished pollish'd punch'd and turnd and if any of them by a fall or too much heat be bruis'd crack'd or broken shee can soder them together againe and make them marketable There is scarce any Art mystery trade or manuall occupation but a Bawd hath a reference or allusion to it or it to her Therefore to runne diuision through them all would be long labour to little purpose In which respects hauing spoken of a few He sâ—ip ouer the rest to auoid tediousnesse and to free my selfe from the imputation
expressed by Saint Paul Romans 9. 3. Where he saith For I would wish myselfe to be separated from Christ for my brethren that are my kinsmen according to the flesh Thus these two blessed Lamps or Beacons which God appointed to illuminate his Church did desire the dreadfull Curse of Gods heauy and eternall wrath to fall vpon them for euer rather then Gods honour should be violated or their brethren befor euer reprobates These two last Curses of Moses and Paul against themselues were so great and good examples of true zeale to God and loue to our neighbours that though it be long since they liued yet I haue not read or heard of any that euer imitated them Moses as a Type of Christ before his Incarnation and Paul as a follower of Christs example after his bitter death and passion did both wish themselues to be accursed to the end that thereby so many of their miserabeb rethren might be blessed so our Sauiour Christ though hee were and is the fountaine of all blessing yet hee was contented to be made a Curse for as many as would lay hold on the promises of God by faith in him Galatians 3 23 14. And thus I conclude my third part of this Treatise of Man Cursing himselfe Fourthly When Man Curseth or Blasphemeth God THis sinne is as it may rightly be called a degree beyond sinne for this is the sword which the Deuill doth put into mad-mens hands wherewith they doe wound themselues mortally for there were neuer yet any that durst to lift vp this Cursed weapon of Blasphemy against God but that the point thereof did alwayes turne into their owne bosomes to their destructions or most grieuous calamities as Pharaoh when hee said Who is the Lord I know not the Lord neither will I leâ—â— Israel goe Exodus 5. 2. and Sennacherib King of Assyria by the mouth of his seruant Rabshakeh blasphemed the Name of the Lord of Hoasts 2. Kings 18. Where he doth impiously extoll the Heathen Idols aboue the God of Israel saying verse 34. and 35. Whence is the God of Hamath and of Arpad Where is the God of Sepharuatm Heua and Iuab How haue they deliuered Samaria out of mine hand The like did Holophernes Iudith 6. 3. when he threatned the Israelites in Bethuliah saying That their God should not deliuer them When he had set vp his golden Image threatning all that would not fall down and worship it with most cruell torments to death he proudly said Who is that God that can deliuer you out of mine hands Nicanor Lieutenant Generall or Captaine of the Host of King Demetrius 2. Machabeus 15. Against Iudas Machabeus and the Host of Israel whom he purposed to inuade vpon the Sabbath day said verse 3. Is there a Lord in Heauen that commandeth the Sabbath day to be kept and verse 4. when they said There is a liuiâ—â— Lord which ruleth in the Heauen who commanded the seuenth day to be kept then he said And I am mighty vpon Earth to command them for to arms themselues and to performe the Kings busines But this Blasphemons miscreant had his hire for he lost 35000. of his men in the battell and himselfe was slaine and his head hand and shoulder brought in triumph to the City of Ierusalem and his accursed tongue cut out and cut in small pieces and giuen to the fowles of the Ayre as the same chapteâ— doth declare The Scribes and Pharises Marke 3. 22. did Blaspheme our Sauiour and said hee had Deuill and that through the power of Beelzebub he did cast out Deuils out of the possessed But as the liues of these and all other Blasphemers were odious and execrable so were their deaths and punishments miserable and remarkable for Pharaoh after the enduring of many most grieuous plagues lost his Kingdome and his life he and all his Army being drowned in the red Sea Exod. 14. 27 28. Sennacherib for his Blasphemy lost in one night 185000. men all of them being slaine by the Angell of the Lord himselfe being forced to flee to saue his life where at his returne to his Kingdome he was slaine by his owne sonnes in the Temple at Nineueh as he was at the vngodly worship of his god Nisroch 2. Kings 19. 37. Holophernes that blasphemous Champion was by Gods iust Iudgement being asleepe in his Tent and drunken although he were in his Camp amidst a great Army of his owne rusty Souldiers yet was his head smote from his shoulders by a woman and carried â—nto the City of Bethulia and there vpon the highest place of the walles set vp in memoriall of Gods vengeance and his peoples victory â—deth 14. 1. Nebuchà dnezzar was for his blasphemy depriued of his manly reason and Kingdome â—nd for seuen yeeres space liued as a beast among the beasts of the field Daniel 4. 30. The Scribes and Pharises who were the onâ—y men in reuerend estimation amongst the â—ewes as being the writers and expounders of the Lawes for their blasphemy were deliuered vp into most miserable captiuity and â—â—erpetuall slauery as is before expressed God is iealous of the honour of his Name that he commanded the blasphemer â—o be stoned to death Leuiticus 24. 14. Which was forthwith executed vpon him in the â—3 verse For which cause when that blessed man Iob was in his greatest afflictions sitting in â—â—shes full of Byles and sores then his wife perswaded him to Curse or blaspheme God and dye Iob 2. 9. She well knowing that the Law was so strict that for euery such â—ffence there was a speedy execution of death and so by that meanes shee would haue perswaded him to haue been quickly dispatched out of his paine and misery Briefly then to conclude this short Treatise Cursing I beseech you brethren by the â—percies of God that you all haue an especiall â—â—are not to blaspheme the holy and glorious Name of our good and gracious Creator Redeemer and Sanctifier that we by our Cursing doe not turne his blessings into a Curse vpon vs and our posterity here and eternally thereafter that wee bee not so much out of â—oue charity and obedience as to Curse our Superiours neighbours or any other persons or lastly that wee bee not so wilfully â—â—ad to Curse ourselues all which Cursed â—â—eanes are the causes to plucke downe vpon our heads the dreadfull Curses of the Almighty as it hath done in all times and ages vpon Blasphemers and Cursers Against Swearing WHen man hath so farre offended God by his disobedience that hee had thereby purchased to himselfe and all his posterity perpetuall damnation not knowing which way to turne himselfe from the Almighties wrath and much lesse knowing how to bee repossest in his fauour when vndeserued vnknowne vnhoped for mans infinite misery was to bee cured by his Creators infinite mercy then at that time if God had giuen man leaue to aske some great gift which he might be redeemed by had he had licence to desire or request what
Grasse And for a Sawce he seldome is at charges For euery Crabtree doth affoord him Vergis His banket sometimes is greene Beanes and Peason Nuts Peares Plumbes Appies as they are in season His musicke waytes on him in euery bush The Mauis Balfinch Blackbird and the Thrush The mounting Larke sings in the lofty Sky And Robin-redbrest makes him melody The Nightingale chants most melodiously The chirping Sparrow and the chattering Pye My neighbour Cuckow alwayes in one tune Sings like a Townesman still in May and Iune These feather'd Fidlers sing and leape and play The Begger takes delight and God doth pay Moreouer to accomplish his Content Ther 's nothing wants to please his sight or sent The Earth embrodered with the various hew Of Greene Red Yellow Purple Watched Blue Carnation Crimson Damaske spotles White And euery colour that may please the sight The odoriferons Mint the Eglantine The Woodbine Primcrose and the Cowslip fine The Honisuckle and the Dasfadill The fragrant Time delights the Begger still He may plucke Violets in any place And Rue but very seldome hearbe of Grace Hearts-case he hath and Loue and Idle both It in his bones hath a continuall growth His Drinke he neuer doth goe farre to looke Each Spring 's his Host his Hostesse is each Brooke Where he may quasse and to 't againe by fits And neuer stands in feare to hurt his wits For why that Ale is Grandam Natures brewing And very seldome sets her Guests a spewing Vnmixt and vnsophisticated drinke That neuer makes men stagger reele and winke Besides a Begger hath this pleasure more He neuer payes or neuer goes on score But let him drinke and quasse both night and day Ther 's neither Chalke nor Post or ought to pay But after all this single-soar'd small Ale I thinke it best to teâ—l a merry tale There was a Rich hard miserable Lord That kept a knauish Foole at bed and boord As Great men oft affected haue such Elues And lou'd a Foole as they haue lou'd themselues But Nature to this Foole such vertue gaue Two simples in one Compound Foole and Knaue This Noble Lord ignobly did oppresse His Tenants raising Rents to such excesse That they their states not able to maintaine They turn'd starke Beggers in a yeere or twaine Yet though this Lord were too too miserable He in his House kept a wels furnish'd Table Great store of Beggers dayly at his Gate Which he did feed and much Compassionate For 't is within the power of mighty men To make fiue hundred Beggers and feed Ten. At last vpon a time the Lord and 's Foole Walk'd after dinner their hot bloods to coole And seeing three or fourescore Beggers stand To seeke reliefe from his hard-clutched hand The Nobleman thus spake his Foole vnto Quoth he what shall I with these Beggers doe Since quoth the Foole you for my Iudgement call I thinke it best we straightwayes hang them all That were great pitty then the Lord reply'd For them and me our Sauiour equall dy'd to Th' are Christians although Beggers therefore yet Hanging 's vncharitable and vnfit Tush said the Foose they are but beggers tho And thou canst spare them therefore let them goe If thou wilt doe as thou hast done before Then canst in one yeere make as many more And he that can picke nothing from this tale Then set him with the Bergger drinke small Ale Thus is a Begger a strange kinde of creature And begg'ry is an Art that liues by Nature For he neglect all Trades all Occupations All functions Mysteries Artes and Corporations Hee 's his owne Law and doth euen what he sist And is a perfit right Gimnosophist A Philosophicall Pythagoras That without care his life away doth passe * A Begger neuer growes mad with too much study A Lawyer must for what he gets take paines And study night and day and toyle his braines With diligence to sift out Right from wrong Writes trauels pleads with hands feet tong And for to end Debate doth oft debate With Rhetoricke and Logicke Intricate And after all his trauell and his toyle If that part which he pleads for get the soyle The Clyent blames the Lawyer and the Lawes And neuer mindes the badnes of his Cause T is better with a Begger that is dumbe Whose tongue-lesse mouth doth onely vtter mam In study and in care no time he spends * Dumbe Rhetoricke mooues Charity And hath his businesse at his fingers ends And with dumbe Rhetoricke with Logick mute Liues and gaines more then many that Dispute * The weake Beggers haue great aduantage ouer the strong If case a Begger be old weake or ill It makes his gaines and commings in more still When Beggers that are strong are paid with mocks Or threatned with the Cage the Whip or Stocks Hee 's better borne then any Prince or Peere In 's Mothers wombe three quarters of a yeere * Beggers for the most pâ—â— well borne And when his birth hath made her belly slacke Shee foure or fiue yeeres beares him at her backe He liues as if it were grim Saturnes Raigne Or as the golden age were come againe * Vertues that Beggers haue Moreouer many vertues doe attend On Beggers and on them doe they depend * Humility Patience Fortitude Temperance Humility's a Vertue and they are In signe of Humblenesse continuall bare And Patience is a vertue of great worth Which any begger much expresseth forth I saw a Begger Rayl'd at yet stood mute Before a Beadle of but base repute For Fortitude a Begger doth excell There 's nothing can his valiant courage quell Nor heate or cold thirst hunger Famines rage He dares out-dare Stocks whipping-posts or Cage Hee 's of the greatest Temperance vnder heauen And for the most part feeds on what is giuen He waytes vpon a Lady of high price * It waytes on Charity worthy bountifull Mistris Whose birth-place was coelestiall Paradice One of the Graces a most heauely Dame And Charity 's her all-admired Name Her hand 's ne'r shut her glory is in giuing On her the Begger waytes and gets his liuing His State 's more * Antiquity ancient then a Gentleman He from the Elder brother Cain began Of Runagates and vagabonds he was The first that wandring o're the earth did passe But what 's a Vagabond and a Runagate â—â—ie Anagramatiz'd I will relate RVNAGATE Anagram A GRAVNTE VAGABONDE Anagram GAVE A BOND And many well-borne Gallants mad and fond Haue with a Graunt so often Gaue a Bond And wrap'd their states so in a Parchment skin They Vagabonds and Runagates haue bin * Beggery descended from Cain who was the first man that euer was borne and heire apparant to the whole world A Begger 's nob'ly borne all men will yeeld His getting and his birth b'ing in the field And all the world knowes 't is no idle fable To say and sweare the field is * Honour
Carthusians these are they that haue made a perpetuall diuorce betweene beasts and birds these are they that haue confirm'd an euerlasting league with Lent and all the ragged Aquarian Regiments of the spacious Kingdome of Pisces For when they enter into their order first they are inioyned neuer to touch or taste any manner of flesh whatsoeuer which they doe inuiolably performe for let hunger and thin-gutted famine assault them neuer so cruelly so that there were no fish to be had yet they hold it meritorious to starue and famish rather then to eate flesh For indeed in cases of necessity they haue power to metamorphose flesh into fish as for example when any Towne is besiedged and sharply assailed with warre without and famine within that meate is fallen into such a consumption that fish is gone and flesh is scarce then these â—enerable fathers by Apostaticall power which they haue can take a Sir-loyne of Beefe and thrust his knighthood into a tub of water and command him to come forth transform'd into a Ling and so for all kind of flesh else they can turne a Pig to a Pike a Goose â—o a Gurnet a Hen to a Herring a Sow to a Salmon and an Owle to an Oyster and all these are no wonders to them for they are all as nothing to their exorcising tricke of Transsubstantiation in the Sacrament for it is not possible for any thing to be impossible to them that can make their Maker and coniure their Sauiour into a peece of bread and eate him when they haue done With these enemies of â—â—arnalitie Lent hath domesticall perpetuitie â—â—ese obserue his Lawes more firmely then they doe either the first or second Table and twenty Citizens shall breake politickely and take vp their lodging in Luds vnlucky gate before they will cracke the least Iniunction that is articulated betwixt Lent and them Thus hauing shewed the progresse egresse and regresse of this Mediterranian Atlanticke Belgicke Gallobelgicus this Caspian Ibeâ—rian British Celticke Callidonian commanding Marine countermander I thinke it not amisse to declare what good he doth in this Kingdome the time of his being here and how much more good he would doe if he were rightly obserued As it is a matter of conscience to obey superiour and supreme Magistrates so in that respect I hold it a conscience to abstaine from flesh-eating in Lent not that I thinke it to bee â—vncleane to the cleane or that the eating or not eating is meritorious for I am perswaded that a man may goe to heauen as well with a legge of a Capon as with a red Herring But seeing Lent is ordained to a good intent for the increase and preseruation of Calues Lambs Swine and all kind of beasts and birds whatsoeuer whereby the breeding and multiplicitie of these creatures makes our Land the terrestriall Paradise of plenty and so is by the bountifull blessings of the Almighty all-giuing Giuer able to maintaine her selfe and relieue many neighbouring Realmes and Regions Surely they are no good Common-wealths men that wilfully will breake so tolerable aninstitution as to refraine sixe or seuen weekes in a yeere from flesh hauing so much variety and change of fish and other sustenance more then sufficient It is most certaine that if Lent were truely kept and the fish dayes in euery weeke duely obserued and that euery house in this Kingdome did spend but the quantity of two Haberdine or Greenfish in a weeke that then this Kingdome of great Britaine both for meat and Mariners would be the Mistresse of the world and for wealth and riches superlatiue to the Mynes of America But the nature of man is so peruerse that like Pandoraes Boxe hee will be tooting and prying soonest into that which he is most restrained from wherein hee shewes himselfe to bee no changeling but the naturall sonne of Adam and heire to his frailtie and disobedience for in common reason for a common good if there were no statutes no precepts or commands for the keeping of Lent and fish-dayes men would of themselues and by their owne instigation bridle their fleshly appetites with the inafle of discretion It is an vnmeasurable detriment to this Kingdome the abuse neglect contempt of this so laudable and commodious an institution and the due obseruing of it duely would be vnualuable I thinke past the reach of Arithmeticke but I haue often noted that if any superfluons feasting or gurmondizing pancsi-cramming assembly doe meete the disordered businesse is so ordered that it must bee either in Lent vpon a Friday or a fasting day for the meat doth not relish well except it be sawe'd with disobediente and contempt of Authority And though they eate Sprat on the Sunday they care not so they may be full gorg'd with flesh on the Friday night Then all the zealous Puritans will feast In detestation of the Romish beast For mine owne part as I haue before written I hold fish or flesh no Maxims Axiomes or grounds of Religion but those that wilfully and contemptuously doe care flesh in the Lent except such whose appetites are repugnant to fish and whose nature hath not beene vsed to it except such as are sicke and women with childe for all which there is a lawfull toleration except such I say he that feasts with flesh in Lent I wish he might bee constrained to fast with fish all the yeere after for his contempt Wide and large is the way that I might trauell in this spacious businesse but few words are best especially if they bee spoken to the wife and if any poore Iacke-a-Lent doe haâ— pen into the hands of a foole t is but a Fooâ— and a Iacke or two fooles well met but heâ— is the ods a wise man will make much ofâ—â— Iacke for his plaine dealing when a foole will quarrell with him and falling together by the eares teare one anothers cloathes and the Iacks paper-ierkin goes to wracke CERTAINE BLANKE VERSES VVRITTEN of purpose to no purpose yet so plainely contriu'd that a Childe of two yeeres old may vnderstand them as well as a good Scholler of fifty GReat Iacke-a-Lent clad in a Robe of Ayre Threw mountaines higher then Alcides beard Whilst Pancradge Church arm'd with a Samphier blade Began to reason of the businesse thus You squandring Troglodites of Amsterdam How long shall Cerberus Tapster be What though stout Asax lay with Proserpine Shall men leaue eating powdred Beefe for that I see no cause but men may picke their theeth Though Brutus with a Sword did kill himselfe Is Shooters-hill turn'd to an Oyster pie Or may a May-pole be a butterd Plaice Then let Saint Katherins saile to Bride-well Court And Chitterlings be worne for statute lace For if a Humble bee should kill a Whale With the butt-end of the Antarticke Pole 'T is nothing to the marke at which we ayme For in the Commentaries of Tower Ditch A fat stew'd Bawd hath bin a dish of state More might be said but then more must be
that happens accidentall We will examine wisely what the Foe sent And whether he be innocent or nocent In weighty matters let 's not be too serious Ther 's many an Eunuch hath bin thought veneriousâ— And 't is a thing which often hath bin heard on That he that labours doth deserue his Guerdon Let vs the first precadent time examine You le find that hunger is the cause of famine The Birds in Summer that haue sweetly chirped Ere winter hath beene done haue beene extirped He may weare Robes that nere knew what a RagmeÌ„t And hoâ— haâ— feasts may fast without a fragmeÌ„t The end proues all I care not for the Interim Time now that summers him wil one day winter him To outward view and Senses all exterier Amongst all fooles I neuer saw a verier Then he that doth his liberty prohibit To fall in danger of a fatall Iibbit Nor for this purpose here to talke come I How siluer may be mock't with Alcamy I oft haue heard that many a Hawke hath muted Whereby the Faulkners Clothes haue bin polluted This may be auoyded if the Knight Sir Reuerence Be waâ—y with a negligent perseuerance For men of Iudgement neuer thinke it decent To loue a stinking Pole-cat well for thefent But if a man should seriously consider Where Charity is fled or who hath hid her He in the end would giue this worthy sentence The earth hath beene accursed since she went henceâ— The times are biting and theâ— dayes Caniculer And mischiefe girds about the Globes orbiculeâ— How from the Countrey all the plaine Rusticity Liues by deceit exiling plaine simplicity A face like Rubies mix'd with Alablaster Wastes much in Physicke and her water-caster That whosoe'r perceiues which way the stink went May â—â—â—â— and censure shee 's a great delinquent Why should a Bawd be furr'd with Budge Miniuer As if she were a Lady or Queene Guiniuer When as perhaps there 's many a modest Matron Hath scarcely meat or money clothes or patron And wherefore should a man be growne so stupid To be a slaue to Venâ—u or to Cupâ—a Hee 's but a foole that hoping for a vaine prize Being captiued can haue no baile or maine prize For he that hath no shift let him determine He shall be bitten with Fleas Lice or vermine This being all his speeches Pia Mater He call'd a Sculler and would goe by water When straite the Stygian Ferriman a rare one Old amiable currish curteous Caron Row'd with a whirl-wind through the Acheron tick And thence vnto the AzureSea proponticke There Neptune in a burning blue Pauilion In state did entertaine this slow Postillion There Proteus in a Robe of twifted Camphire With a graue beard of monumentall Samphire Quoth he shall we whose Ancestors were war-like Whose rich Perfumes were only Leeks and Garlike Whose noble deeds nocturnall and diurnall Great Towns and Towers did topâ—ie turuy turne al Shall all their valour be in vs extinguish'd Great loue forbid there should be such a thing wish'd Though Cleopatra was Octanian's riuall It is a thing that we may well conniue all Amongst the Ancient it is vndisputable That women and the winds were euer mutable And 't is approu'd where people are litigious There euery Epicure is not religious Old Occamus knowing what they ment all Brought Zâ—phirus vnto the Orientall And he by Argument would proue that loue is A thing that makes a wise man oft a Nouice For t is approu'd a Greyhound or a Beagle Were not ordain'd or made to hunt the Eagle Nor caâ— the nimblest Cat that came from Gottaâ—â— Search the profundity of Neptunes boâ—tom Let roaring Cannons with the Welkin parley It 's known good liquor may be made with Barley And by experience many are assured Some grounds are fruitfull if they be manureâ— For in the rudiments of health or sanity An arrant Whore is but a price of vanity Some men with fury will procrastinate And some with leaden speed make haste in at But in conclusion many things impurely Die in the birth and neuer end maturely The man that seeketh straying minds to weane all From veniall vices or offences penall Had he the forces of the Turkish Nauy He would ly downe at last and cry pecâ—â—â—â— Of one thing I haue oftentimes tooke notice The foole that 's old and rich much apt to dote is And by the light of Pollux and of Castâ—â— A Woolfe in Shepheards weeds is no good Pastor Those that do liue a Commicke life by Magicke Their Scâ—anes in their Catastrophes are tragick And he that one the world would be chiefe Primat May giue occasion for wise men to rime at Before men fell to wrangling disagreement A Lawyer vnderstood not what a fee ment It was a time when Guilt did feare no censure But loue and peace and charity was then sure Now fathers for their bread dig and delue it The whilst the Sutten Sons are liu'd with Veluet Thus doe I make a hotch potch mesle of Neâ—sâ—â—â— In darke Enigmaes and strange sence vpon sence It is not foolish all nor is it wise all Nor is it true in all nor is it lies all I haue not shâ—w'd my wits acute or fluent Nor told which way of late the waÌ„dring Iew were For mine owne part I neuer cared greatly So I fare well where those that dresse the meat â—â— A miserable Knaue may be close fisted And prodigall expence may be resisted I neither care what Tom or Iacke or Dicke sed I am resolu'd and my mind is fixed The case is not as he or I or you sed Truth must be fonnd and witnesses produced My care is that no captious Reader beare hence My vnderstanding wit or reason here-hence On purpose to no purpose I did write all And so at noone I bid you here good night all THen with a tuchbox of transalpine tarre Turning thrice round and stirring not a iot He threw fiue tunne of red hot purple Snow Into a Pigmeis mouth nine inches square Which strait with melancholly mou'd Old Bembus Burgomaster of Pâ—ckt-hatch That plunging through the Sea of Turnebull streeâ—â— He safely did ariue at Smithfield Barres Then did the Turnetripes on the Coast of Francâ— Catch fifteene hundred thousand Grashoppers With foureteene Spanish Needles bumbasted Poach'd with the Egs of fourscore Flanders Mares Mounted vpon the foote of Cancasus They whorld the football of conspiring fate And brake the shinnes of smugfac'd Mulciber With that grim Pluto all in Scarlet blue Gaue faire Proserpina a kisse of brasse At which all Hell danc'd Trenchmore in a string Whilst Achâ—ron and Termagant did sing The Mold warp all this while in white broth bath'd Did Carroll Didoes happinesse in loue Vpon a Gridiron made of wâ—â—ting-mops Vnto the tune of Iohn come kisse me now At which Auernus Musicke gan to rore Inthron'd vpon a seat of three-leau'd grasse Whilst all the Hibernian Kernes in multitudes Did feast with Shamerags stew'd in Vsquebagh At which a banquet made of Monopolies Tooke
exprest Which to require my thankfulnesse I 'l show â—nd that I 'l euer pay and euer owe. On Tuesday morning we with maine and might From Portsmouth crost vnto the â—â—e of Wight By Cowes ftout Castle we to â— armouth hasted And still the windes and Seas fierce fury lasted On Wedn'â—day we to Hursts strong Castle crost Most dangerously sowsd turmoyl'd and tost Good harbour there we found and nothing deere I thanke kinde * â—atthew Figge a right good fellow M. Figge the Porter there He shew'd vs there a Castle of defence Most vsefull of a round circumference Of such command that none can passe those Seas Vnsunke or spoyl'd except the Castle please On Thursday we our Boat row'd pull'd and hal'd Vnto a place which is Kâ—y Hauen call'd The winde still blowing and the Sea so high As if the lofty waues would kisse the skie That many times I wish'd with all my hart My selfe my Boat and Crue all in a Cart Or any where to keepe vs safe and dry The weather raged so out ragiously For sure I thinke the memory of man Since windes aâ—d Seas to blow or flow began Cannot remember so stormy weather In such continuance held so long together For ten long weekes e'r that t is manifest The wind had blown at South or west Southwest And rais'd the Seas to shew each others power That all this space caâ—me weather not one hower That whether we did goe by Sunne or Moone At anytime at midnight or at noone If we did launce or if to land we set We still were sure to be halfe sunke and wet Thus toyling of our weary time away That Thursday was our last long look'd for day For hauing past with perill and much paine And plow'd furrow'd o'r the daugerous maine O'r depths and flats and many a ragged Rocke We came to Christ-Church Hau'n at fiue a clocke Thus God in mercy his iust iudgement sparing Gainst our presumption ouer-bold and daring Who made vs see his wonders in the deepe And that his power alone aloft did keepe Our weather-beaten Bonte aboue the waues Each moment gaping to be all our Graues We sinking seap'd then not to vs to Him Be all the Glory for he causd vs sâ—im And for his mercy was so much extended On me whose temptings had so farre offended Let me be made the scorne and scoffe of men If euer I attempt the like agen My loue my duty and my thankfulnesse To Sir George Hastings I must here expresse His deedes to me I must requite in words No other payment poore mens state affords With fruitlesse words I pay him for his cost With thanks to M r. Templeman mine host So leauing Christ-Church and the Hauen there With such good friends as made vs welcome â—â—â— Some serious matter now I must compile And thus from verse to prose I change my stile GOD who of his infinite wisdome made Man of his vnmeasured mercy redeemed him of his boundlesse bounty immense power and eternall eye of watchfull prouidence relieues guards and conserues him It is necessary that euery man seriously consider and ponder these things and in token of obedience and thankfulnesse say with Dauid What shall I render and the man hauing thus searched considerately the Causer of his being then let him againe meditate for * Men should consider why God hath giuen them a being in this life what cause hee hath a being indeed it may be obiected that almost euery thing hath a being as stones haue being trees hearbs and plants haue being and life Beasts fowles and fishes haue being life and sence but to man is giuen a Being life sence and reason and after a mortal an immortal euer-being This coÌ„sideration will make a man know that hee hath little part of himselfe which hee may iustly call his owne his body is Gods he made it his soule is his who bought it his goods are but lent him by him that will one day call him to a reckoning for the well or ill disposing of them so that man hauing nothing but what he hath receiued and receiued nothing but what is to be imployed in the seruice of God and consequently his Prince and Countrey it is plainely to be perceiued that euery man hath * No man is owner of himselfe the least share or portion of himselfe to boast of I haue written this Preamble not onely to enforme such as know not these things already but also to such whose knowledge is as it were falne into a dead sleepe who doe liue as though there were no other being then here and that their life and being was ordayned onely of themselues neither God Prince or Countrey hauing no share or portion of them or of what they call theirs But oh you Inhabitants of Salisbury I hope there are â—â—â— such crawling Cankerwormes or Commâ—â— wealth Caterpillers amongst you Nay I â—â—â— assured of the contrary that there are maâ—â—â— who with religious piety open hands â—â—â— relenting hearts doe acknowledge that yoâ—â— goods are but lent in trust vnto you and â—â—â— patiently beare the ouer-burthensome â—â—â—uing of many hundreds of poore wretâ—â—â— which were it not for your charity woâ—â—â— perish in your streets This being entred into my consideration that your City is so * Here is an honest course set downe for the inrichingâ—â— your rich and the relieuing of your poore much ouercharged â—â—â— poore as hauing in three Parishes neere â—â—â— besides decayed men a great many and â—â—â— those few which are of the wealthier sort â—â—â— continually onerpressed with sustaining â—â— wants of the needy the City being as it â—â—â— at the last gaspe the poore being like Phâ—â—ohs leane Kine euen ready to eat vp the â—â—â— ones I haue made bold to write this Trâ—â—tise ensuing both to entreat a constant perâ—uerance in those who haue begun to doe goâ—â— workes and an encouragement or animaâ—â—â— of all others who as yet seeme slow in theâ—â— good proceedings And if any thing heâ—â— written by me be either impertinent exâ—â—uagant rude harsh or ouer-bold I humbâ—â— entreat you to impute it rather to my want â—â—â— iudgement learning and capacity then to â—ny presumption or want of loue and duty â—â—â— the City cause which is hereafter handled It is sufficiently knowne that my intent and purpose at this time was not to make any profit to my selfe ' vpon any aduenture as it is deemed by many by my passage from London â—â— Salisbury with a Wherry but I was entread by a * His â—â—â—â— Gregory Bastable and his ordinary place where he â—â—â— or attends his labour is at the Temple and there also â—â—â— Thomas Estman another Wiltshire man which wiâ—â—â—â— Waterman which was born in Salisbury that I would beare him company for the discouery of the sands flats depths shoales Mils and Weares which are impediments and ' lets whereby the Riuer is not Nauigable from Christ-Church or the Sea to Salisbury Which after many dangerous gusts
Comick straine In Tragedy or any other vaine In nipping Satyrs or in Epigrams In Odes in Elegies or Anagrams In eare-bewitching rare Hexameters Or in Iämbicke or Pentameters I know these like a Sculler not a Scholler And therefore Poet pray asswage your choller If as a theese in writing you enuy me Before you iudge me doe your worst and try me TO THE MIRROR OF TIME THE MOST REFVLGENT SPLENDIDIO VS REFLECTING COVRT Animal Don Archibald Armstrong Great M. Comptroller Commander and Countermander of mirth alacrity sport and ridiculous confabulations in this Septentrionall â—â—â— Westerne Monarchie of Magna Britania Your poore and daily Orator IOHN TAYLOR wisheth increase of your wisdome in your owne person and that your eminence and spirit may be infused into the bosoms of most mens heires that esteeme more of Wealth then of Wisdome RIght worthy worthlesse Patron the dayes and times being such wherein wit goes a wooll-gathering in a thredbare Iacket and folly is well reputed amongst those that seeme wise I considering this hauing but little wit in a mad humour bade farewell it and neuer so much as asked the question Wit whither wilt thou Being certainly perswaded that playing the foole will repaire the â—â—reaches which my vnhappy wit hath made in the Bulwarke of my reputation as it hath done to many others wherefore good sir with reuerence I hearing that so great a member in your esteemed quality as M. Thomas Coriat of Odcomb was drowned in his passage towards Constantinople and knowing that many good and worthy writers haue graced his liuing trauels So I haue made bold vnder your great Patronage to write his tragicall supposed Death-song or Funerall Eâ—legie not knowing any man of that worthy worth besides your selfe to whom I might dedicate these sad Epicediums Thus not doubting of your acceptance and protection I commit my selfe and my labors to your wonderfull wisdomes cenâ—ure alwaies hauing a poore Muse to trauell in your seruice Iohn Taylor TO THE GENTLEMEN READERS THAT vnderstand A.B. from a Battledore No Sooner newes of Coriats death was com But with the same my Muse was strookeÌ„ dom â— whilst he liued he was my Muses subiect Her onely life and sense sole pleasing obiect OdeoÌ„bian Graecian Latin Great ThomAsse He being dead what life hath she alasse â— yet I hope his death was false Report Or else 't was rumord to beget some sport To try how his deare friends would take his death And what rare Epicediums they would make T' accompany his all-lamented Herse In hobling iobling rumbling tumbling verse Some smooth some harsh some shorter some long As sweet Melodious as Madge Howlets song But when I saw that no man tooke in hand To make the world his worth to vnderstand Then vp I bussled from Obliuions den And of a Ganders quill I made a pen With which I wrote this following worke of woe Not caring much if he be dead or noâ— For whilst his body did containe a life The rarest wits were at continuall strife Who should exceed each other in his glory But none but I haue writ His Tragick story If he be dead then farewell he if not At his returne his thankes shall be thy lot Meane time my Muse doth like an humble Pleaâ—â— Intreat acceptance of the gentle Reader Remaining yours euer IOHN TAYLOR A SAD IOYFVLL LAMENTABLE DELIGHTFVLL MERRY-GO-SORRY ELEGY OR FVNERALL POEM VPON the supposed death of the famous Cosmographicall Surueior and Historiographicall Relator M r THOMAS CORIAT of Odcomb O For a rope of Onions from Saint Omers And for the muse of golden tongued Homers That I might write and weepe and weep and write Odcombian Coriats timelesse last good-night O were my wit inspir'd with Scoggins vaine Or that Will Summers ghost had seaz'd my braine Or Tarlton Lanum Singer Kempe and Pope Or she that danc'r and umbled on the rope Or Tilting Archy that so brauely ran Against Don Phebâ—â— knight that wordy man O all you crue in side pi'd coloured garments Assist me to the height of your preferments And with your wits and spirits inspire my pateful That I in Coriats praise be not ingratefull If euer age lamented losse of folly If euer man had cause of Melancholly Then now 's the time to waile his ruthlesse wracke And weepe in teares of Clares and of Sack ANd now according to my weake inuention His wondrous worthles worthines I 'l mention Yet to describe him as he is or was The wit of Men or monsters would surpasse His head was a large poudring tub of phrases WheÌ„ce men would pick delites as boys pick daises O head no head but blockhouse of fierce wars Where wit and earning were at daily lars Who should possesse the Mansion of his pate But at the last to end this great debate Admired learning tooke his heads possession And turnd his wit a wandring in progression But Miny on Muse hold whither wilt thou goe Thinkst thou his rare anatomy to shew None borne a Christian Turke nor yet in Tartary Can write each veyne each sinew and each artery His eyes and eares like Broakers by extortion Ingrost strange forraine manners and proportion But what his eyes and eares did see or heare His tongue or pen discharg'd the reckoning cleare That sure I thinke he well could proue by law He vttered more then e'r he heard or saw His tongue and hands haue truly paid their score And freely spent what they receiu'd and more But lord to see how farre o'r-shot am I To wade thus deepe in his Anatomy What now he is I 'l lightly ouerpasse I 'l onely write in part but what he was That as Grim Death our pleasures thus hath crost T is good because he 's gon to know what 's lost HEe was the Imp whilst he on earth suruiu'd From whom this west-worlds pastimes were deriu'd He was in City Country field Court The Well of dry braind lests and Pump of sport He was the treasure-house of wrinckled laughter Where melancholly moods are put to slaughter And in a word he was a man 'mongst many That neuer yet was paralleld by any Who now like him in spite of wind and weather Will weare one shiftlesse shirt 5. months together Who now to doe his natiue country grace Will for a Trophee execute his case Who now will take the height of euery Gallowes Or who 'l describe the signe of euery Alchouâ—e Whether his Host were bigge or short or tall And whether he did knock e'r he did call The colour of his Host and Hostesse haire What he bought cheap what he paid for deare For Veale or Mutton what he paid a ioynt Where he sate down and where he loos'd a poynt Each Tower each Turret and each lofty steeple Who now like him wil tel the vulgar people Who now will set a worke so many writers As he hath done in spite of his back-biters With Panegericks Anagrams Acrosticks â—emblazon him the chiefe among fantasticks â—las not one not one
aliue doth liue That to the world can such contentâ— ent giue Should Poets stretch their Muses on the racke And study till their pericranions cracke Should foot-back trotting Trauellers intend To match his trauels all were to no end Let Poets write their best and trotters run They ne'r shall write nor run as he hath done BVt Neptune and great AEdus contending Gainst one another all their forces bending Which of them soon'st should rob the happy earth Of this rare man of men this map of mirth And like two enuious great ambitious Lords They fell at deepe and dangerous discords The sea-god with his three-tin'd angry Rod com And swore by Styx he would haue Tom of Odcomb With that sterne Eole blew a boystrous blast And in his rage did gusts and tempests cast â—n showring vollyes at fierce Neptunes head Who like a valiant Champion scorning dread â—â—ne blow for blow with his commanding Mace And spitting stormes in spitefull Eols face That golden Titan hid his glistring ray As fearing to behold this horrid fray â—â—â— darknesse curtain'dall the world â—a Ebon Mantle o'r the Globe was hurld The wallowing waues turmoild the restless ships Like School-boies shuttlecocks that leaps skips The Top-mast seemes to play with Phoebus nose â—trait downe toward Erebus amaine she goes â—ow wind quoth Neptune till thy entrails breake Against my force thy force shall be too weake Then like two sooles at variance for a trisle They split the ship they enter and they risle Like cursed Law-wormes enuious and cruell Striuing to seaze the peerelesse matchlesse Iewell Whilst Eole sought aboue the skies to crown him Blue-bearded Neptune in his arms did drown him The Wind-god sees the prize and battell lost Blowes stormes and rages to be curb'd and crost And vow'd to rowze great Neptune in his Court And in his teeth his iniury retort Then he commands retreat to all his forces Who riding sundry waies on winged horses Bigge Boreas to the freezing North went puffing And slauering Auster to the South went husling Eurus went East and Zephyrus went West And thus the warres of windes and seas did rest ANd now dame Thetis in thy vasty womb Is odde Odcombians Coriats timelesse Toomb Where Nayads Dryads and sweet sea-nimphs tend him And with their daily seruice do befriend him There al-shap'd Protens and shrill trumping Triton And many more which I can hardly write on As if it were the thing they glory at In seruile troopesâ— they wait on Coriat That though like hell the sea were far more dark as Yet these would guard his vnregarded carkasle You Academick Latine Greeke Magisters You off-springs of the three times trebleâ— Sisters Write study teach vntil your touÌ„gs haue blisters For now the Haddocks and the shifting Sharks That feed on Coriat will become great Clarks The wri-mouth'd Place mumping Whiting-mops Wil in their mawes keep Greeke and Latine shops The Pork-like Porpose Thorn-back and the State Like studious Grecian Latinists will prate And men with eating them by inspiration With these two touÌ„gs shall fill each barbarous Nation Then though the Sea hath rudely him berest vs Yet midst our woes this onely comfort 's left vs That our posterities by eating fishes Shall pick his wisdome out of diuers dishes And then no doubt but thousands more will be As learned or perhaps all as wise-men as he But to conclude affection makes me cry Sorrow prouokes me sleep griefe dries mine eye EPITAPH in the Barmooda tongue which must be pronounced with the accent of the grunting of a hogge HOugh gruntough weâ—gh I homough Coriâ— tough Odcough robunguogh Warawogh hogh Coâ—â—â—togh sâ—gh wogh tâ—rmonatogrogh Callimogh gogh whohogh Ragâ— mogh demagorgogh palemogh Lomerogh nogh Tattertogh illvâ— mortogh â—â—gh Allaqueâ—quogh Toracominogh Iagogh Iaâ—erogh mogh Carmogh pelepsogh Animogh trogh deradrogh maramogh hogh Flondrogh calepsâ—gh Epitaph in the Vtopian tongue NOrtumblum callimuÌ„quash â—mystoliton quasbâ—â— burashteâ— Scribuke â—osâ—tay solusbay per ambulatushte Grekay sons Turkay Paphay â—â—â— Ierusalushteâ— Neptus esht Ealors Interremoy diâ— Delorushte Confabuloy Odioumbay â—â—â— Omul â—â—â—shte paraleseus tolition umbroy The same in English translated by Caleb Quishquash an Vtopian borne and principall Secretary to the great Adelentado of Barmoodoes HEre lies the wonder of the English Nation Inuoln'd in Neptunes brinish valty maw For fruitlesse trauell and for strange relation He past and repast all that e'r eye saw Odcomb produc'd him many Nations fed him And worlds of Writers through the world hâ—e spred him FINIS CERTAINE SONNETS IN PRAISE OF M r. THOMAS THE DECEASED FASHIONED OF diuers stuffs as mockado fustian stand-further off and Motly all which the Author dedicates to the immortall memory of the famous Odcombian traueller COnglomerating Aiax in a fogge Constulted with Ixion for a tripe At which Gargantua tooke an Irish bogge And with the same gaue Sifipbus a stripe That all the bumbast forrests 'gan to swell With Triple treble trouble and with ioy That Lucifer kept holiday in hell Cause Cupid would no more be cald a boy Delucitating Flora's painted hide Redeemes Arion from the hungry Wolfe And with conglutinating haughty pride Threw Pander in the damb'd Venetian gulfe The Mediterrane mountaines laught and smil'd And Libra wandred in the woods so wild Bright Cassia Fistula was wondrous sad To heare Zarzaparillas great mis-hap And Coloquintida was raging mad When Saxafrage was set in Rubarbs lap Dame Lickorish was in a monstrous fume Against the Iushious Reasons of the sunne And Trinidad smoake auoids the roome Whil'st Gmâ—â—â— sweares she is vndone Vuguentum album is so pale and wan That Paracelsus plaister mournes in blackâ— The Spanish Eliborus strongly can Make Lignuin vita's hide with neezing crack Lo thus with vnguents plaisters oyles and drugges We coniure vp the fierce infernall bugges The head strong Torchlight of Cimerian waues With fiery frozen wonder leaps and vaults And on th' Altantick Ocean cuts and shaues Whilst thunder thwacking Ossalimps and hales Robustious AEtna drownes the Artick Pole And forked Vulcan hath forsooke his forge Apollo'es piebald mare hath cast her fole And Mulley Mahomet hath fild his gorge Don Belzebub sits fleaing of his breech And Marble Proteus dances leaps and skips Belerophon hath pend an excellent speech And big-boand Boreas kist Auroraes lips The Welkin rumbles Argos lies asleepe And Tantalus hath slaine a flocke of sheepe When flounder-flapping Termagant was slaine The snâ—gâ—-fac'd Cerberus did howle and yell And Polypheâ—â—â— rid in Charles his Waine Whilst Gergous head rung great Alcides knell The rip-rap-riffe-raffe thwick thwack stout Babooâ— Gripes in his downy clotoh the spungy Oake And young Andromeda at night rings noone Whilst Asdrubal at tick tack lost his cloake Prâ—â—erbus couering the Vmbranoes head And Tyâ—bon tumbles through the solid Ayre Proud Pegasus on Cheese and Garlick fed And Proserpina went to Sturbidge faire Pope Hildebr and bade Pluto home to supper And Dâ— Diâ—â—oes horse hath broke his crupper Dick Swash drew out his
He like a partiall Iaylor oft doth deale Permits his goodnesse neuer to appeare And lets his badnesse ramble any where So Rorers Rascals Banquerouts politicke With money or with friends will finde a tricke Their Iaylor to corrupt and at their will They walke abroad and take their pleasure still Whilst naked vertue beggerly despis'd Beleguerd round with miseries surpris'd Of hope of any liberty defeated For passing of his word is meerely cheated And dungeond vp may tell the wals his mones And make relation to the senselesse stones Where sighs and grones teares may be his feast Whil'st man to man is worse than beast to beast Till death he there must take his fad abode Whil'st craft and coozenage walke at will abroad Thus these comparisons doe well agree Man to a Iayle may fitly likened bee The thought whereof may make him wish with speed To haue his prisoned soule releast and freed Thus Iayles and meditations of a Iayle May serue a Christian for his great auaile But now my Muse thus long in bondage pent Begins to thinke of her infranchizement And hauing of a Prison spoke her part She mounts vnto the Hangman and his Art THE NECESSITIE OF HANGING OF Hangings there 's diuersity of fashions Almost as many as are sundry Nations For in the world all things so hanged are That any thing vnhang'd is strange and rare Earth hangs in the concauity of Water And Water hangs within the Ayeres matter The Ayre hangs in the Fierie continent Thus Element doth hang in Element Without foundation all the Massie Globe Hangs which the skies encompasse like a Robe For as an a Simile egge the yolke within the white The white within the skin 's enuellop'd quite The skin within the shell doth outmost lye Eu'n so these Elements hang midst the side First all the world where mortals liue we see Within the Orbe of Luna hanged be Aboue her Mercurie his course doth steere And next aboue him is bright Vâ—â—â—s Sphere And in the fourth and middle firmament Sol keepes his hot and fiery Regiment Next aboue that rans Mars that star of warre Beyond him Iupiter that Iouiall starre Then last is fullen Saturnes ample bounds Who once in thirty yeeres the world surrounds This earthly Globe for which men fight brawle Compar'd to Heauen is like an b All the world is in comparison for greatnesse to the eauens as a hand-worme of a Nit may be compared to the world Attom small Or as a Needles point compar'd to it So it to Heauen may be compared fit And it doth Hang and hath its residence I' th centre of the skies circumference Thus to proue Hanging naturall I proue c Wee liue in a hanging world We in a Hanging world doe liue and moue Man is a little world wherein we see The great worlds abstract or epitomie And if we note each linament and lim There are not many parts vnhang'd of him His haire which to his head and beard belongs Hangs if not turn'd vp with the Barbers tongs His armes his hands his legges and feet we know Doe all hang pendant downe wards as they grow Ther 's nothing of him that doth hanging skip Except his eares his nether teeth and lip And when he 's crost or sullen any way He mumps and lowres and hangs the lip they say That I a wise mans sayings must approue Man is a tree whose root doth grow aboue Within his braines whose sprigs branches rooâ— From head to foot grow downward to the ground Thus world to world and man to man dothcall And tels him Hanging is most naturall The word Dependant doth informe our reason That Hanging will be neuer out of season All that depends doth hang which doth expresse That d Rich men are poore mens Gallowses Great men are like Iybbets for the lesse It is an old phrase many yeeres past gone That such a Lord hath many hangers on Thereby describing that all mens Attendants As it were hangers on were call'd e All dependants are hangers on Dependance And sure of all men they are best indeed Who haue most hangers on to cloath and feed For he that hath the meanes and not the grace To helpe the needie is a Miser base Hee 's no good Steward but a hatefull Thiefe That keepes from good Dependants their reliefe And of all Theeues he hanging doth deserue Who e All dependants are hangers on hath the power to feed and lets men steâ— To end this point this consequence I 'll grant He that hath wealth no hangers on can want For since the time that mankinde first began It is a destinie ordain'd to man The meane vpon the mighty should depend And all vpon the Mightiest should attend Thus through all ages Countries and Dominions We each on other hang like ropes of Onions Some wealthy slaues whose consciences condem Will hang themselues left others hang on them And some spend all on Hangers on so fast That they are forc'd to steale and hang at last If they from these Extremes themselues could weâ—â— There is betwixt them both a Golden meane Which would direct their superfluities They would not hang themselues for niggardine Nor wastefully or prodigally spend Till want bring them to hanging in the end And they and many others by their purse Might scape that hanging which is cald a curse f That 's a Roague There 's many a * That 's an Asse Gallant made of foole and feather Of Gold and Veluet Silke and Spanish leather Whose lagged Hangers on haue mou'd my minde â—osce prids goe goe before and shame behinde With scarce a button or an elboe whole â—â—ch or any shooe that 's worth a sole These that like golden Iybbets and their traines â—â— like poore tatter'd Theeues hang'd vp in chains â—â—â— that doth suffer Whores or Theeues or Knaues â—â—â— flattering Villaines or such kinde of slaues To hang vpon him and knowes what they are That man into a Gallowse I compare That Vintner I account no friend of mine Who for good money drawes me scuruie wine â—â—â— by the rule of Conscience not of Law That he is fitter made to hang then draw The Lawyer that at length doth spin mens causes With false delays and dilatory clauses Who makes a trade to broach and draw contention For him a hanging were a good preuention â—â— hols Muse come backe you beare my Rime To hanging in good carnest ere the time There are a many sorts of hangings yet Behinde which I by no meanes must forget The hanging is a necessary thing Which is a pretty gamball cald a a A Swing or stretch for exercise andâ— Swing And men of good repute I oft haue seene To hang and stretch and totter for the spleene This hanging is a military course Not by the Law but strength of armes and force Thâ—s euery morning for a little spurt â—â—â—man may hang himselfe and doe no hurt This hanging oft like Tyburne hath a tricke
treasure Sir Philip Sidâ—â—y histimes Mars and Muse That word and sword so worthily could vse That spight of death his glory lin's â—â—waiâ—â— For Conquelts and for Poesie crown'd with bayes What famous nien liue in this age of ours As if theâ— Sister 's nine had left theâ— bowres With more post hâ—â—â—e then expeditious wings They â—eere haue found the Heliconian springs We of our mighty Monarch IAMES may boast Who in this heau'nly Arte exceeds the most Where men may see the Muses wisdome well When such a glorious house they chose to dwell The Preacher whose instructions doe afford The soules deare food the euerliuing Word If Poets skill be banisht from his braine His preaching sometimes will be but too plaine Twixt Poetry and best diuinity There is such neere and deare affinity As'twere propinquity of brothers blood That without tone the other 's not so good The man that takes in hand braue verse to write And in Diuinitie hath no insight He may perhaps make smooth and Art-like Rimes To please the humours of these idle times But name of Poet hee shall neuer merit Though writing them he waste his very spirit They therefore much mistake that seeme to say How euery one that writes a paltrie play A sottish Sonnet in the praise of loue A song or jigge that fooles to laughter moue In praise or dispraise in defame or fame Deserues the honour of a Poets name I further say and further will maintaine That he that hath true Poesie in his braine Will not profane so high and heau'nly skill To glory or be proud of writing ill But if his Muse doe stoope to such deiection T is but to shew the world her sinnes infection A Poets ire sometimes may be inflam'd To make foule Vices brazen face asham'd And then his Epigrams and Satyres whip Will make base gald vnruly Iades to skip In frost they say 't is good bad blood be nipt And I haue seene Abuses whipt and stript In such rare fashion that the wincing age Hath kick'd and flung with vncontrouled rage Oh worthy Withers I shall loue thee euer And often maist thou doe thy best indeuer That still thy workes and thee may liue together Contending with thy name and neuer wither But further to proceed in my pretence Of nat'rall English Poetries defence For Lawreat Sidney and our gracious Iames Haue plunged been in Arts admired streames And all the learned Poets of our dayes Haue Arts great ayde to winne still liuing Bayes All whom I doe confesse such worthy men That I vnworthy am with inke and pen To carry after them But since my haps Haue been so happy as to get some scraps By Nature giu'n me from the Muses table I 'le put them to the best vse I am able I haue read Tasso Virgill Homer Ouid Iosophus Plutark whence I haue approued And found such obseruations as are fit With plenitude to fraught a barren wit And let a man of any nation be These Authors reading makes his iudgement fee Some rules that may his ignorance refine And such predominance it hath with mine No bladder-blowne ambition puff's my Muse An English Poets writings to excuse Nor that I any rule of art condem Which is Dame Natures ornamentall Iem But these poore lines I wrote my wits best pelse Defending that which can defend it selfe Know them vnnat'ral English Mungril Monster Thy wandring iudgemet doth too much misconster When thou affirm'st thy Natiue Country-man To make true verse no art or knowledge can Cease cease to do this glorious Kingdome wrong To make her speech inferiour to each tongue Shew not thy selfe more brutish then abeast Base is that bird that files her homeborne neast In what strange tongue did Virgils Muse commerce What language wast that Ouid wrote his verse Thou sâ—yst 't was Latin why I say so too In no tongue else they any thing could doo They Naturally did learne it from their mother And must speake Latin that could speake no other The Grecian blinded Bard did much compile And neuer vsde no foreigne far-fetcht stile But as hee was a Greeke his verse was Greeke In other tongues alas he was to seeke Du Bartas heauenly all admired Muse No vnknowne Language euer vs'de to vse But as he was a Frenchman so his lines In natiue French with fame most glorious shines And in the English tongue t is fitly stated By siluer-tongued Siluester translated So well so wisely and so rarely done That he by it immortall same hath wonne Then as great Mars and renowned Nasâ— Braue Homer Petrarke sweet Italian Tasse And numbers more past numbring to be numberd Whose rare inuentions neuer were incumberd With our outlandish chip chop gibrish gabblings To fill mens eares with vnacquâ—iated babbling Why may not then an English man I pray In his owne language write as crst did they Yet must we suit our phrases to their shapes And in their imitations be their Apes Whilst Muses haunt the fruitfull forked hill The world shall reuerence their vnmatched skill And for inuention fiction methood measure From them must Poets seeke to seeke that treasure But yet I think a man may vse that tongue His Country vses and doe them no wrong Then I whose Artlesse studies are but weake Who neuer could nor will but English speake Do heere maintaine if words be rightly plac'd A Poets skill with no tongue more is grac'd It runnes so smooth so sweetly it doth flow From it such heauenly harmony doth grow That it the vnderstanders sences moues With admiration to expresse their loues No musicke vnder heauen is more diuine Then is a well-writ and a well-read line But when a witlesse selfe-conceited Rooke A good inuention dares to ouerlooke How pitteous then mans best of wit is martyr'd In barbrous manner totter'd torne and quarter'dâ— So mingle mangled and so hack't and hewd So scuruily bescuruide and be me wde Then this detracting durty dunghill Drudge Although he vnderstand not yet will iudge Thus famous Poesie must abide the doome Of euery muddy-minded raskall Groome Thus rarest Artists are continuall stung By euery prating stinking lumpe of dung For what cause then should I so much repine When best of writers that ere wrote a line Are subiect to the censure of the worst Who will their follies vent or eise they burst I haue at idle times some Pamphlets writ The fruitlesse issue of a nat'rall wit And cause I am no Scholler some enuy me With soule and false calumnious words belie me With brazen fronts and flinty hard beleefe Affirming or suspecting me a theefe And that my sterrile Muse so dry is milch'd That what I write is borrow'd beg'd or filch'd Because my name is Taylor they suppose My best inuentions all from stealing growes As though there were no difference to be made Betwixt the name of Taylor and the Trade Of all strange weapons I haue least of skill To mannage or to wield a Taylors bill I cannot Item it for silke and facing For
cutting edging stiffning and for lacing For bumbast stitching binding and for buckram For cotton bayes for canuas and for lockram All these I know but know not how to vse them Let trading Taylors therefore still abuse them My skil's as good to write to sweate or row As any Taylors is to steale or sow In end my pulsiue braine no Art affoords To mine or stamp or forge new coyned words But all my tongue can speake or pen can write VVas spoke and writ before I could indite Yet let me be of my best hopes berest If what I euer writ I got by theft Or by base symony or bribes or gifts Or beg'd or borrowd it by sharking shifts I know I neuer any thing haue done But what may from a weake inuention runne Giue me the man whose wit will vndertake A substance of a shaddow for to make Of nothing something with Arts greatest aide With Naâ—â—â— onely all his Muse arraide The solid matter from his braine can squeez â—â—â—â— some lame Artists wits are drawn to 'th leez â—â—â—â—aching Parrots prate and prattle can 〈…〉 ght an Ape will imitate a man And â—â—â— his hors shew'd tricks taught with much labor â—â—â— did the hare that plaid vpon the tabor â—â—â—ll man I pray so witlesse be besotted â—â—â—ll men like beasts no wisdome be allotted Without great studie with instinct of Nature Why then work man the worst and basest creature â—â—â—â— are made the other creatures Kings â—â—â—â— superiour wisdome from them springs â—â—â— therefore Mâ—â—â— vnto thee againe â—â—â— dost suspect the issues of my braine â—â— but my bastards now my Muse doth flie â—nd in thy throat giues thy suspect the lie â—nd to the triall dares thee when thou dar'st Accounting thee a coward if thou spar'st â—â—â— little wit and braine and spleene And gall memorie and mirth and teene â—â—d passions and affections of the minde â— other Mortals vse to be enclinde Aâ—â— hauing all this wherefore should men doubt â—â—â— wit should be so crippled with the Gowt â—â—â— it must haue assistance to compile â—â—â—a lâ—â—e dog that 's limping or a stile â—â—â—o no thou Zâ—ylâ—â— thou detracting else â—â—â—gh thou art insufficient in thy selfe â—nd hast thy wit and studies in reuersion â—â—â—â—â—â— on me that scandalous aspersion â—â—â— such ballad-mongring timing slaues â—â—â—â—â—ygging rascals such audacious knaues â—â—e bane of learning the abuse of Arts â—â—â—me of Natures worst defectiue parts The scorne of schollers poison of rewards â—â— dlesse vassalls of true worths regards The shame of time the canker of deserts The death of liberall and heroicke hearts â—â—â— like so many bandogs snarle and snatch â—â—â— all 's their owne they can from others catch â—â—â— licke the scraps of Schollers wits like dogs â—â—â—â—â— old draffs good enough for hogs â—â—yning line by line and peece by peece â—â—â— from each place they read will filch a sleece â—â—â— thinks my Muse should piecemeale teare these rogues â—â—â— base vile theÌ„ tatter'd Irish brogues â—â—â— kissing raskals flattering parasites â—â—â—ne vices vassalls vertues opposites â—â—â— you daâ—â—bde curs haue murderd liberall minds â—â—â— made best Poets worse esteem'd then hindes â—â—â— wherefore doe I take a Schollers part â—â—â— haue no ground or Axioms of Art â—â—â— in Poesie an artlesse creature â—â—â— haue no learning but the booke of Nature No Academicall Poeticke straines But homeâ—â—puâ— medley of my mottley braines Thâ—â—â—â—â— on â— a Schâ—â—â—r's wants bewaile And why against â—â—fe litter'd whelps I raile Iâ— this that they long time should time beftow In paint fall study secret Arts to know â—â—d after liue in want contempt and scorne By euery dâ—â—g-hill pâ—asant ouer-borne Abâ—â—d reiected doggedly disgrac'd De'pâ—ed ragged Iowzie and out-fac'd Whilst Bag-pipe-poets stuft with others wind Are gâ—â—c'd for wit they haue from them purloind Now in my owned fence once more I 'l say Their too rash iudgements too much runne astray That ' câ—â—se my name is Taylor I doe theeue it I hope their wisdomes will no more beleeue it Nor let my want of learning be the cause I should be bitten with blacke envies iawes For whose'r by nature is not a Poet By rules of Art he neuer well can show it Ther 's many a wealthy heire long time at Schoole Doth spend much study and comes home a foole A Poet needs must be a Poet borne Or else his Art precures his greater scorne For why if Art alone made men excell Me thinks Tom Coriat should write ex'lent well But he was borne belike in some crosse yeere When learning was good cheap but wit was deare Then to conclude as I before began Though nought by Schollership or Art I can Yet if my stocke by nature were more bare I scorne to vtter stolne or borrowed ware And therefore Reader now I tell thee plaine If thou incredulous dost still remaine If yea or nay these reasons doe perswade thee I leaue thee and thy faith to him that made thee To the Kings most excellent Maiesty Anagramma Iames Stuart MVSKS TARI AT GReat Soueraigne as thy sacred Royall brest Is by the Muses whole and sole possest So do I know Rich Precious Peereleffe Iem In writing vnto Thee I write to them The Muses tarry at thy name why so Because they haue no further for to goe To the high and mighty Prince CHARLES STVART Anagramma Calls true hearts BRaue Prince thy name thy fame thy selfe and all With lone and seruice all true hearts doth call So royally indude with Princely parts Thy Reall vertues alwaies calls true hearts To Anna Queene of Great Brittaine THese back-ward and these forward lines I fend To your right Royall high Maiesticke hand And like the guilty prisoner I attend Your censure wherein blisse or bale doth stand If I condemned be I cannot grudge For neuer Poet had a iuster Iudge These lines are to bee read the same backward as they are forward Deer Madam Reed Deem if I meed Loues Iabyrinth with the description of the seuen Planets I Trauel'd through a wildernesse of late Ashady darke vnhaunted desart groue Whereas a wretch explain'd his piteous state Whose mones the Tygers vnto ruthe would moue Yet though he was a man cast downe by Fate Full manly with his miseries hee stroue And dar'd false Fortune to her vtmost worst And e'r he meant to bend would brauely burst Yet swelling griefe so much o'r-charg'd his heart In scalding sighes he needs must vent his woe Where groans and teares and sighes all beare a part As partners in their masters ouerthrow Yet spight of griefe he laught to scorne his smart And midst his depth of care demean'd him so As if sweet concord bore the greatest sway And snarling discord was inforc'd t' obey Thou Saint quoth he I whilome did adore Thinke not thy youthfull feature still can last In winters age thou shalt in vaine implore That thou on me such coy disdaine didst cast Then then remember old said fawes of yore Time was Time is but then thy Times is past And in the
Sword and Flame â—â—d almost all that Kingdome ouer-run â—â—ll where I fought triumphantly I won â—hrough Blood and Death my glory I obtain'd â—â— in the end when all my Acts were done â—â— Sepulcher was all the game I gain'd For though great Kings contend for earthly sway Death binds them to the peace and parts the fray An. Dom. 1272. Nouember Wednesday Edward the first was 35 yeares old when he beganne to reigne but at the death of his Father he was in warres in the Holy Lâ—â—d against the Saracens So that he returned not home till the next yeere a â—time hee was crowned the 14 day of December in the second yeere of his reigne the â—â—â—â—minsâ—ty of â—â—â— Coroâ—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— performed by Robert Kâ—lwarby Arâ—â—â—â—â—â— of Canterbury at Westminster Thus King brought Wales wholy vnto subsection to the crowne of England he effect â—â—â—â— peace be caused all coâ—â—â—â—tred Iudges and Officers of Note to be must exemplertly pâ—â—nâ—â—ea with sines â—â— priâ—â—men and bantshment A Nauy of 60 English sâ—â—ps ouâ—â—â—ams and tooke 800 ships of France An. 1293. Sir William Wallace A Noble vaâ—â—â—ant Scoâ— aâ—d warrâ— vpon King Edward and in the seruice of his Countrey did much â—â—â—â—â—â— to England The King caâ—â—â— this Sonne Edward being an inâ—â—rt to be the first Prince of Wales that was of toâ— English blood Since when all the Kings of Englands elaest Sonnes are by right Princes of Wales 284 Iewes were executed for â—â—â—ptes of the Kings coyne An 1280. King Edward caused Bayâ—trds Castle to be buils in London now the mansion house of the Right Honourable Earle of Pembâ—â—â—â— In the 15 yeers of this kings reigne Wheate was sold for 3 d the Bâ—sheâ— and the next yeere being 1288 it was sold for 18 d the Bushâ—â— which in those dâ—â—ies was accouÌ„ted a great price but after as long as The King liued the price came to 5â— the Bashell King Edwards Armiâ—â—â—ew 70000 of the Scots in one day as the â—â—ttâ—k of Fauâ—â—rke Sir William Wallace was betrayed taken and brought out of Scotland and executed in Smithfield has head being set on London Bridge and his quarters sent into Scotland yes be is by â—â—â—â—â— men had in Honorable remembrance The warres â—â—â— so set in this Kings reigne betwixt him and the Scots that as â—enerall times there were more then 130000 men slaine on both parts yet amongst all our English Kings that past before him Edward was not inferiour today he was religious valiant victorious wise affable of a comely Maâ—estmall Aspect and proportion he had two wiues the first was Eleanor daughter to Ferdinand the third King of Castile the second was Margaret daughter to Philip surnamed Hardy King of France by them hee had 4 Sonnes and 10 Daughters bee reigned neere 35 yeeres and was burried at Westminster 1307. July 7. EDWARD THE II KING OF ENGLAND LORD OF IRELAND DVKE OF AQVITAINE c. SOone after was my fathers corps inter'd Whilst Fate and Fortune did on me attend And to the Royall Throne I was prefer'd With Aâ—e Ceaser euery knee did bend But all these fickle ioyes did fading end Peirce Gaueston to thee my loue combind My friendship to thee scarce left me a friend But made my Queene Peeres People all vnkind I tortur'd both in body and in mind Was vanquisht by the Scots at Bannocki Rourne And I enfor'cd b flight some safety find Yet taken by my Wife at my returne A red-hot Spit my Bowels through did gore Such misery no slaue endured more Anno Dom. 1307 Iuly 8. Edward the second surnamed Carnaruan â—… cause he was born at Carnaruan Castle is Wales was crowned at Westminster by the hands of William Bishop of Winchester deputy for Robert Archbishop of Canterbury then absent in exile â—â— 24 of February next following He was much â—â—â—â—cted to follow the aduice and counsell of light â—â—â—â— which caused the Nobility to rebel against him â—â—â— at the first he ouercame them and tooke Thomas Earle of Lancaster a Peers of the blood their chief Leader fate in iudgment himself on him at Pomfret where the Earle had iudgment giuen against him to be drawne for is Treason for his murder spoyle burning robberies to be hangd and for his shamefull flying away to be beheaded but because â—â—â— was of the Kings kindred he was only beheaded â—â—â— the last such of the Barons as had escap'd â—â—â— the Mortimers with the helpe of the Queene â—â—â— the yong Prince then come out of France newly tooke the King and imprisoned him neuer â—â—â— kingdome in more â—â—sery then this Kings â—â—â— for his immoderate loue to Peirce Gauâ—â—â—â— a meane Gentleman of France was the cause of the Kings and has owne destruction with the â—â—â— calamity of the â—â—â—â—â— kingdom This Gaueston â—â—â— banished hence by the Kings father was in â—â—â— times exil'd but at his third â—â—â—rne Guy â—â—â— Watwick took him in Warwick Castle â—â—â— his head to be snore off which so inraged the â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—ing King that bee vowed reuenge vpon all â—â—â— Lords others who were the causers of Gauestâ— death in the meane space Robert Bruce King Scots gaue King Edward a mighty ouerâ—â—â— place cal'd Bannocksbourne where the English â—â—â— their confederates Hollanders Brabanders â—â—â— landers Flemings Picards Gascognes â—â—â— mans Poloiners wer in number ooooo â—â—â— foot yet were discomfited with the losse of 5000 â—â—â— the King in great danger to be taken famine foul and pestilence at once afflicted England so that â—â—â— ple did eat one another halfe-aliue and the â—â—â— scarce able to bury the deed The King prepares for reuenge against his Lords for Gaueston â—â—â— Hugh Dispencer from meane estate to be â—â—â— Chamberlaine The King caused 2â— of his â—â—â— suffer death diuers â—â—â—â—â—â— He makes a second â—â—â— against Scotland â—â—â—â— againe with great â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— This was the miserable â—â—â— this King who was deposed the Spencers â—â—â— Edward reign'd 19 years 7 months and 17 days EDWARD THE IIJ KING OF ENGLAND And FRANCE LORD OF IRELAND IN Peace and War my Stars auspicious stood False Fortune stedfast held her wauering wheele I did reuenge my Fathers butcher'd blood I forced France my furious force to feele I warr'd on Scotland with triumphing Steele Afflicting them with slaughtering Sword and Fire That Kingdome then diuided needs must reele Betwixt the Bruces and the Balliols ire Thus daily still my glory mounted higher With black Prince Edward my victorious Sonne Vnto the top of honour wee alpire By manly Princely worthy actions done But all my Triumphs fortunes strength and force Age brought to death death turn'd to a Coarse Anno 1327 Ianuary 25 Saturday Edward the 3 being borne at Windsor being 15 yeers old was crowned by Walter Reignolds Arcbishop of Canterbury â— in his 2 yeere Edward his Father was murthred The Court in those daies was seldome without a vipeÌ„ for as Gaueston was the foreruÌ„ner of the Spencers in ambition rapine pride and confusion So the Spencers were the
and be Tombd with him together Sonnets 3. FRom two strong Iailes thy corps â—onâ—â— acquitted The one compact of flesh and bloud and bone The other vnrelenting sencelesse stone By God to one by man to one committed I euer did expect a happy time When thou shouldst shake by bondage from thy backer I euer hop'd that thy vnwilling crime Would be forgot and thou secur'd from wracke For this I wish'd and prat'd both day and night I onely aym'd to haue thy body freed But heau'n beyond my reason had decreed Soule body both at once to free thee quite Thou in thy life hast past a world of trouble But death from double Iailes hath freed thee double Sonnet 4. COrruption Incorruption hath put on Immortall weake mortality is made Earths wo hath gain'd a happy heauenly throne By death life dyes by life deaths force doth fade Though death kill life yet life doth conquer death Death but puts off our Rags of shame and â—ine When for a moment's an eternall breath Life passing through the dore of death doth win This thou well knowst my much beloued friend And therefore thou didst dare death to his worst But he much busied could not thee attend Or durst not till thy cares thy heart had burst And then the slaue came stealing like a thiefe And 'gainst his will did giue thy woes reliefe Sonnet 5. THou fortunes foot-ball whom she vs'd to tosse From wrong to wrong from wo to wo againe From griefe rebounding backe to pinching paine As 't please the blind-fold Dame to blesse or crosse But thou vnmou'd with either gaine or losse Nor ioy nor care could vexe they constant braine Thou smil'dst at all her buffets with disdaine And all her fauours thou esteem'dst as drosse Her and her Fauorites thou still didst deeme Iust as they are not as they seeme to be Her Minions all as fooles thou didst esteeme And that 's the cause she would not fauour thee Then since such reck'ning she of fooles doth make Would thou hadst beene one for her fauours fake Sonnet 6. T Is written in the euer liuing Word The Rule and Square that men should liue thereby Afflictions are the tuch-stones of the Lord. By which he onely doth his seruants try Then Noble Moray thou hadst many a tuch And still the patience good and currant prou'd Thy manly carriage in thy griefs were such Which made thee more then much admir'd and lou'd What yeer what month week day or fading houre Wherein some mischiefe did thee not befall Yet had Affliction ouer thee no power To conquer thee but thou didst conquer all Vnnumbred times thou wast both toucht and tri'd And in thy Makers feare and fauour dy'd Sonnet 7. VVEep heart weepe eyes weep my vnable pen In teares of blood of water and lake With bread of sorrow and afflictions drinke I liue for I haue lost a man of men Yet heart eyes pen dry vp your teares agen He is not lost he 's rather newly found Enfranchis'd from a dolefull theeuish den And with a rich Immortall Crowne is crownd Then hart eies pen no more with teares be drownd Weepe not for him that doth reioyce for euer Yet this againe my comfort doth confound Hee 's lost to mee and I shall find him neuer Then weep Muse heart eies pen lament and weepâ— My ioyes are buried in eternall sleepe Sonnet 8. SLeepe gentle spirit in Eternall rest Free from all heart-tormenting sorrow sleepe Whilst I doe vent from my care-crazed brest Hart-wondring sighs that there their mansion keepâ—â— And let my grones from out that Cauerne deepe With lamentations and cloud-cracking thunder And let mine eyes an Inundation weepe Let sighs grones teares make all the world to wonder I meane my little Microcosmo world Sigh stormes grone thunder weep a floud of tearesâ— Through eu'ry part of me let griefe be hurld That whosoeuer my lamenting heares May mone with me the cause of this my Ditty Or if not mone with me vonchsafe to pitty Sonnet 9. SInce cursed fates haue fatally decreed To tosse and tumble harmelesse Innocence And all the crue of hels abortiue breed Haue glutted Enuies maw by lawes defence Yet God whose knowledge knows the least offence Who all things sees with his all-searching eye Doth with his glorious great omnipotence Right wronged wrongs heares his seruants cry His mercie 's not immur'd within the sky But freely he doth powre it downe on earth He with afflictions scourge his sonnes doth try And when he pleases turnes their mone to mirth And though man liues in care and dies in sorrow A heauy euening brings a ioyfull morrow Sonnet 10. WEll hast thou runne in this â—y weary race Well hast thou fought with Satan hand to haÌ„d Th' ast won the Goale and gain'd the blessed Land That 's neither limitted with time or place There thou attendest on the thâ—â—â—â—â—â—e of Grace There Angels and Archangels sweetly sing Eternall praises to th' eternall King And see the glorious brightnesse of his face All this I doubt not but thou wâ—ll hast done Not of thy selfe with shamefull sinne pollated But thy Redeemer hath the coâ—â—iest wonne And vnto thee the victorie's imputed He paid the score and cancell'd all thy bands And gaue thee to his blessed Fathers hands Sonnet 11. NOw may you theeuing Poets filch and steale Without controlement breaking Priscians pate For he that whilom could your theft reueale Your Criticke and your Hypercriticke late Now may you cog and lye and sweare and prate And make your idle verses lame and halt For by the pow'r of euiternall Fate Hee 's gone that could and would correct each fault But you haue greatest cause to moane his want You sacred heau'nly Sisters three times thrice He from your Gardens could all weeds supplant And replant fruites and flowres of pecrelesse price He kept vnbroke your Numbers Tipes Tropes But now hee 's dead dead are your onely hopes Sonnet 12. AS Solon to rich haplesse Croesus said No man is happy till his life doth end The proofe in thee so piainly is displaid As if he thy Natiuity had kend What mortall miseries could mischiefe send But thou therein hast had a treble share As if Calamities their powers should bend To make thy Corps a treasure-house of care Yet fell Aduersity thou didst out-dare And valiantly 'gainst stormes of woe resisted Loue of the world they minde could not insnare Thou knewst wherein the best of best consisted And as old Solon said so I agree Death makes men happy as it hath done thee Sonnet 13. NO 〈…〉 Trophee Vertue needes And good report a marble Tombe out-weares â—â—â—â—â— plaies the Herald proclaimes mens deeds Her Trumps Thrill sound the spacious world heares And such an vniuersall Tombe hast thou Borne on the tops of thousand thousand tongs Thy liuing merit doth thy name allow A Monument for euer which belongs To none but such as whilom was thy selfe Who vs'd the world as if they vs'd it not And did
he fell Which she perceiuing lets her Daughter drowne And rashly ran to saue her burning Sonne Which finding dead she hastily casts downe And all agast doth to the water runne Where seeing t'other was depriu'd of breath She ' gainst the earth falls down dasht her braines Her husband comes and sees this worke of death And desperate hangs himselfe to ease his palnes Thus Death with all the Elements conspire To reaue mans life Earth Water Ayre and Fire FINIS An Inkhorne Disputation or Mungrell conference betwixt a Lawyer and a Poet. With a Quarterne of new catcht Epigrams caught the last Fishing tide sit for heaute stomackes in Ember-weekes Fridayes and Fasting-euens A Poet and a Lawyer in dispute And one the other striued to confute The Poet talk't of great Apolloes shrine Of mount Pernassus and the Muses nine The Lawyer 's all in Cases and in Causes In Fixes in Fees Recou'ries and in Clawses The Poet answers him with Elegies With Madrigals and Epithalamies The Lawyer with his Writs and his Attachments His Habeas Corpus and his strong Apeachments His Executions and his Molestanaums His Score facies and Testificanaums His desperate Outlaries his Capiendoes His Sursararies and his Proscdendoes The Poet at the Lawyer layes on loads Of Dactiles Spondees Annagrams and Oades Of Satyres Epigrams Apostrophies Of Stops of Commaes of Parenthesis Of Accents Figures Tautologia Of Types Tropes and Amphibologia Of Saturne Ioue of Mars of Sol's hot ranging Of Venus Mercurie of Lunaes changing Of Tragicall and Comicall predictions Of Truth of Suppositions and Fictions Of Homer Virgil Ouâ—d Taâ—â—o Terence Dâ—bartas Petrach Plutarke Horace from whence Hee hath the Art the Knowledge and the skill To win the Lawrell from the forked hill The Lawyer then begins to thunder lowder As if hee meant blow him vp with Powder With Actions Cases Capias vt legatums With Decemtales Scandala Magnatums With his Sede fendendoes and Demurs With Proffes Supplicauits Praemumrs With his Scitations Latitats Delayes And diuers more tearmes which the Law displayes With Littleton Fitzherbert Ployden Brooke With many a lawfull and Law-wrested Booke The Poet boldly yet maintaines the field And with his Inkhorne termes disdaines to yeeld Vpon the Lawyer all a fresh hee comes With Eglagues and with Epicediums With Palinodies and Pentameters With sharpe Iambicks and Hexamiters The Lawyer saw the Poet had such store Of pickeld words said hold wee 'le talke no more For thou by mee or I shall not by thee By prating neuer edified bee And for Conclusion let vs both parâ— friends And for our profits this shall bee our ends Wee Lawyers liue vpon the times Abuses Whil'st Poets starue by waâ—â—â—ng on the Muses Epigram 1. Vpon the world Notwithstanding TOm swore to Kate he neuer more would wooe her Kate wish't him hangd when â—ext he com's vnto her But Lou's great litle God the man coÌ„manding That Tom must needs goe to her Notwithstanding Kate rayld and brawld and scoulded curst and band And 'gainst Toms not withstanding did withstand At last the Notwithstanding had â—or sooke And Kate affords her Tom a welcome looke Thus Not withstanding did the warres increase And Stiffe withstanding made the friendly peace Epigram 2. HAll and his wife into the water slipt She quickly Hall fast by the Codpeece gript And reason good shee had to catch him there For hold she fast she need no drowning leare She oft had try'd and prou'd and found it so That thing would neuer to the bottome goe Epigram 3. GOod Besse forbeare â—â—â—be are thou canst full well For thou for bearing bear'st away the bell Thy patience in thy bearing men admires That bearing many wrongs yet neuer tires Epigram 4. T Is onely womens manners and their carriage That maketh them vnfit or fit for Marriage Then Madge thy carriage still so good hath bin Thou getst the Dlu'll and all by commings in Epigram 5. MAll doth commend Sims comlinesse of slature But most she likes his freenesle of his Nature For she will sweare indeed la and in truth That Sim euer a sweet natur'd youth Epigram 6. A Messenger declaring of his mind In making curtesie let a scape behind Hee looking backe peace Sirrha peace quoth he For it you talke I sure will silent be Epigram 7. THe Merchant Drubo hyer'd a seruant lasse And for her wages he doth duly pay From Christmas quarter vnto Michatlmas She hath it payd her to haire they say Sometimes betwixt the quarters she doth take it For let it come when 't t will shee'ie not forsake it And for her Master honest Drubo hee He often payes her with a standing fee. Epigram 8. FIe what an idle life man liues quoth Dicke How idely they their linâ—s away doâ— passe Whil'st paint full women wins both praise and p. Induring as they were compos'd of Brasse I thinke mens idlenesse was neuer such And women ne're were occupi'd so much Epigram 9. IT is no wonder wherefore little Nell So bigge below the waste begins to swell For being hungry in the darke she stole A hastie Pudding and deuour'd it whole Epigram 10. AS through the Citie I did lately passe At a Carts tayle a Beadle whipt a lasse I slept vnto him and I ask'd the cause Quoth he I whipt her for she brake the Lawes In letting out her for most Roome for pelfe And for her pleasure backward lay her selfe Epigram 11. A Little woman did a bigge man wed And he was loath to lye with her in bed For feare to hurt her then she spyed a Mouse That play'd and leapt and skipt about the house O Husband would I had that Mouse quoth she Her skin would make a paire of gloues for me So wide quoth he I know t will neuer tretch Content your selfe qd she young things will reach Epigram 12. A Lustie wench as nimble as an Eele Would giue a Gallant leaue to kisse and feele His itching humour straight-way was in hope To toy to wanton dally busse and grope Hold Sir quoth she my word I will not faile For you shall feele my hand and kisse my Taâ—â— Epigram 13. On Mistresse Charitie IN very deed la and sinceritie There is much Charitie in Charitie She hath so kinde so free a liberall heart That euery man of her shall haue a part Epigram 14. TWo Sheepe in Law did lately long contend And Wolfe the Lawyer must the matter end Who with his fine fines and his firking fees Dâ—awes both their purâ—es to the very lâ—es The mony gone the strife of Law did cease They fooles fell out and beggers made the peace Epigram 15. MAd dapper Dicke doth very often shift And yet hee 's lowzâ—e through the want of â—â—â—â— Epigram 16. On Madam Temperance A Man that went to trauaâ—le swore to 's wife He would loue Temp'rance as he lou'd his life Indeed he lou'd a faire and beauteous Dame Although intemperate Temp'rance was her name On whom he spent his loue his lust his â—â—â—â—â— He might as well haue
Bottle Bag Pipe Dog and all Shall breed no iarres in Westminsters great Hall Peace and tranquility was all his life And dead his goods shall breed no cause of strife Thus Shepheards haue no places meanes or times To fall into these hell-deseruing crimes Which Courtiers Lawyers Tradesmen men of arms Commit vnto their soules and Bodies harmes And from the Shepheards now I le turne my stile To sundry sorts of sheepe another while The Lambs that in the Iewes passeouer dy'd Were figures of the Lambeâ— that 's crucifi'd Esa. 53.7 And Esay doth compare our heauenly food 1. Ioh. 1.29 T'â— Sheepe which dumb before the shearer stood Whose death and merits did this title win The Lambe of God which freed the world from sin LAMBE Anagram's BLAME LAMBE Anagram's BALME The Anagram's of Lambe is Blame and Balme And Christ the Lambe Vpon him tooke our Blame His precious Blood Gods heauy wrath did calme ' I'was th' onely Blame for Sinne to cure the same All power and praise and glory be therefore Ascribed to the Lambe for euermore And in the threescore nineteenth Psalme we read That like a Sheepe our God doth Ieseph lead Againe of vs he such account doth keepe That of his Paffure we are called Sheepe And euery day we doe confesse almost That we haue err'd and stray'd like Sheepe that 's lest Our Saueour that hath bought our Soules so deare Hath said his Sheepe his voice will onely heare And Thrice did Christ vnto Saint Peter call In which he spake to his Disciples all Iab 21.15.16 If you doe loue me feed my Sheepe quoth he And feed my Lambs well if you doe loue me Moreouer in the final Iudgement day There is the right hand and the left hand way Whereas the sheepe he to himselfe doth gather With saying Come Ye blessed of my Father c And to the Goats in his consuming ire He bids Depars into eternall fire Thus our Redeemer and his whole elect The name of Sheepe held euer in respect And the comparison holds reference To profit and to harmelesse innocence For of all beasts that euer were or are None can for goodnesse with a Sheepe compare Indeed for bone and burthen I must grant He 's much inferiour to the Elephant The Dromedarie Camell Horse and Asse For loade and carriage doth a Sheepe surpasse Strong Taurus Eunuch sonne the labouring Oxe The stately Stagge the bobtaild craftie Foxe These and all rauenous beasts of prey must yeeld Vnto the Sheepe the honour of the field An Oxe is the Eunuch sonne of a Bull. I could recount the names of many more The Lyon Vnicorne the Beare and Bore The Wolfe the Tyger the Rhinoscerot The Leopard and a number more I woe But all these greedie Beasts great Ouids pen Doth say are metamorphos'd into men For Beast to Beast afford more conscience can And much lesse cruelty than man to man I le therefore let such Beasts be as they be For feare they Kicke and snap and snarle at me â—â— Vnto the Sheepe againe my Muse doth flye For honest safetie and commoditie He with his flesh and fleece doth feed and clad All Languages and Nations good and bad What can it more but dye that we may liue And euery yeare to vs a liuery giue 'T is such a bountie and the charge so deepe That nothing can afford the like but Sheepe For should the world want Sheepe but 5. whole yere Ten thousand millions would want cloathes to And wer 't not for the flesh of this kind beast weare The world might fast when it doth often feast There 's nothing doth vnto a Sheepe pertaine But'tis for mans commoditie and gaine For men to men so much vntrusty are Tolye to couzen to forsweare and sweare That oathes and passing words and ioyning heads Is like assurance written in the sands To make men keepe their words and mend all this The silly Sheepe skin turn'd to parchment is There 's many a wealthy man whose whole tstate Lyes more in Parchment then in coyne or Plate Indentures Leafes Euidenoes Wills Bonds Contracts Records Obligations Bils With these although the sherpeskin is bat weake It binds men strongly that they dare not breake Bâ—â— if man eates Spiders no. v and then The oyle of Parchment cures him oftagen And what rare stuffes which in the world are fram'd Can be value like to Parchment nam'd The richest cloth of gold that can befound A yard of it was nere worth fiftie pound And I haue seene two foot of Sheepeskin drest Which hath bin worth ten thousand pounds at least A peece of parchment well with Inke Iac'd ouer Helps many a gallant to a Sattin couer Into the Mercer it some Faith doth strike It giues the Silkeman Hope of no dislike The Taylor it with Charitie assailes It thrusts him last betwixt his Bill and Vailes And by these meanes a piece of parchment can Patch vp and make a Gull a Gentleman The Nature of it very strange I finde 'T is much like Physicke it can loose and binde 'T is one mans freedome and anothers noose And like the Pope it doth both binde and loose If the Taylors Bill be out of measure to the Gentleman then be can make a fit measure for him with his owne bond And as the Ram and Ewe doe fructifie And euery yeare a Lambe doth multiply So doth a sheepe-skin Bond make money breed And procreate as seed doth spring from seed â—â— hundred pounds the Ewe which euery yeare Doth breed a ten pound Lambe all charges cleare A Bond is the Ewe the borrower and lender are both Rams and the Interest is the Lambe Thus is a sheepe-skin prou'd the onely Tie And stay whereon a world of men relye Which holds a crew of Earth wormes kin more awe Then both the Tables of the sacred Law Past number I could many functions name Who as 't is parchment liue vpon the fame But 't is sufficient this small homely touch Should all be writ my Booke would swell too much Now for the Ram the Ewe the Lambe and Weather I le touch their skins as they are turn'd to Leather And made in Purses Pouches Laces Strings Gloues Points Book Couers ten thousand things And many Tradesmen line and thriue thereby Which if I would I more could amplifie Their Guts serue Instruments which sweetly found Their Dung is best to make most fruitfull ground Their Hoofes burnt will most venom'd Serpents kill Their grated Hornes are good 'gainst poyson still Their Milke makes Cheese mans hunger to preuent As I haue seen in suffex and in Keut Their Trotters for the healthy or the sicke Drest as they should be are good meat to picke The Cookes and Butchers with the Ioints doe gaine And poore folkes eate the Gather Head and braine And though all wise mens iudgement will allow A Sheepe to be much lesser then a Cow Yet in a Leg of Mutton I can see More meat then in a leg of Beefe can be A liue Sheepe
triuiall matters 2 The Names of most of the Pagan and Heathenish Idols that haue beene and are honoured at this present 3 The profit and pleasure all Countries haue by Hemp-seed 4 How it propagates the Gospell 5 Nauigation with the Commodities it brings and carries 6 How many Trades and Functions liue by it 7 How when it is worne to ragges it is made into Paper 8 How many liue by it being Paper 9 The sacred memory of Patriarchs Prophets Euangelists Apostles and Fathers 10 The foure Monarchies 11 The seauen Wonders 12 Philosophers Historians Chronographers Poets ancient and moderne the best fort mentioned 13 The Anatomy of a Brownist or precise Amsterdamd Puritane 14 A Voyage in a Paper-boat to Quinborough 15 The description of a Sea-storme 16 The Names of the most famous Riuers in the World 17 The praise of the noble Riuer of Thames A. Preamble Preatrot Preagallop Preauick Preapace or Preface and Proface my Masters if your stomackes serue BOoke goe thy wayes and honest mirth prouoke And spightfull spirits with Melancholy choake â—â—â— I command thee where thou dost resort To be the bad mens terrour good mens sport Netre as thou canst I pray thee doe not misse In make them vnderstand what Hempseed Me thinkes I heare some knauish foolish head Accuse condemne and judge before bee read Saying the fellow that the same hath made It ame bouicke Waterman by trade And therefore it cannot worth reading be Being compil'd by such anoue as he Another spends his censure like Tom ladle Brings in his fine egs soure of which are adle Mewes and makes faces yet scarce knowes what 's what Hemp. seed quoth he what canbe writ of that Thus these deprauing minds their iudgements scatter Eyber against the Writer or the Matter But let them if they please reade this Preamble And they will finde that I haue made a scamble To sâ—ew my pocre plentious want of skill How Hemp-seed doth deserue preserue and kill I muse that neuer any exe'lent wit Of this forgotten subiect yet bath writ The theams is rich although esteemed meane Not scuvrulous prophane nor yet obsceane And such as taske may well become a quill To blaze it that hath all the grounds of skill This worke were no dishonour or abuse To Homer Ouid or to Marots Muse. A thousand Writers for their art renown'd Haue made farrt baser things their studies ground That men haue cause to raile ' gainst fruitlesse Rimes Vainely compil'd in past and present times And say O Hemp-seed how art thou forgotten By many Potts that are dead and rotten I And yet how many will forget the still Till they put on a Tyburne Pickadill The Names of most of such Authors or their Workes as haue writ vpon many poore subiects Erasmus that great Clerke of Rotterdam In praise of Folly many lines did frame The summe and pith of all his whole intents Showes Fooles are guilty and yet Innocents Another briefly barely did relate The naked honour of a bare bald Pate And for there 's not a haire twixt them and heau'n The title of tall men to them is giuen And sure they put their foes in such great dread That none dares touch a haire vpon their head Mountgomerie a fine Scholler did compile The Cherrry and the Sloe in learned stile Homer wrote brauely of the Frog and Rat And Virgil versifi'd vpon a Gnat Ouid set forth the Art of lustfull Loue. Another wrote the Treatise of the Deue. One with the Grashopper doth keepe a rut Another rimes vpon a Hazell Nut. One with a neat Sophisticke Paradoxe Sets sorth the commendations of the Poxe Signout Inamorato's Muse doth sing In honour of his Mistris Gloue or Ring Her Maske her Fanne her Pantosle her Glasse Her Any thing can turne him to an Asse Plinie and Aristotle Write of Bees Some write of Beggeries twenty foure degrees One of the Owle did learnedly endite And brought the Night bird welcome to day-light A second did defend with tooth and nayle The strange contentment men may find in Iayle A third doth the third Richard much commend And all his bloudy actions doth defend A fourth doth shew his wits exceeding quicknesse In praise of Tauerns healths and Drunken sicknesse A fift doth toyle hit Muse quite out of breath Of aduerse Fortune banishment or death A sixt the very Firmament doth harrow Writes of the Parret Popinjay and Sparrow The Storke the Cuckoe Nothing can escape The Horse the Dog asse foxe ferret and the ape Mounsieur de Gallia writes all night till noone Commending highly Tenâ—is or Baloone Anothers Museus high as Luna flies In praise of hoar sursse dropsies and bleare eyes The Gout Sciatica scab'd hams small legs Of thred-bare cloakes a jewes-trump or potch'd egges One all his wit at once in Rime discloses The admirable honour of red noses And how the nose magnificat at doth beare A tincturs that did neuer colour feare One doth her â—icke it throng hout our coast The vertue of muld-facke and ale and toast Another takes great paints with inke and pen Approuing fat men are true honest men Out makes the haâ—â—ig hâ—y vaâ—ty welkin ring In praise of Custards and a bag pudding Another â—theâ—â—â— inke and paper Exalting Dauncing makes his Muse to caper Anothers humour will nothing allow To bee more profitable â—â—â— a Cow Licking his lips in thinking that his theame Is milke cheese butter whay whig curds and creame Leather ana Veale and that which is most chiefe Tripes chitterlings or fresh powder'd beefe A number haue contagiously rehearsed And on Tobacco vpouriz'd and vearsed Maintaining that it was a drug deuine Fit to be seru'd by all the Sisters nine Yet this much of it I shall euer thinke The more men stirre in it the more 't will stinke A learned Knight of much esteeme and worth A pamphlet of a Priuie did set forth Which strong breath'd Ajax was well like'd because T was writ with wit and did deserue applause One wrote the Nightingale and lab'ring Ant. Another of the Flea and th'Elephant Tom Nash a witty pamphlet did endite In praise of Herrings both the red and write And some haue writ of Maggots and of Flies A world of fables fooleriâ—s and lies And this rare Hempsee a that such profit brings To all estates of subiects and of Kings Which rich commoditie of man should lacke He were not worth a shirt vnto his backe And shall is no tryamphant honour haue But lye dead buried in obliuions graue Some Critticks will perhaps my writing tax With falshood and maintaine their shirts are flax To such as those my answer shall be this That Flax the male and Hemp the female is And thier engendring procreatiue seed A thousand thousand helpes for man â—ath breed And as a man by glauncing vp his eye Sees in the aire a stocke of wilde Geese flye And ducks and woodcocks oyboth sexes be Though men doe name but one forbreuity There'eganders 'mongst the geese hens with the
commanded to be kept holiday so that no shops were opened no manner of worke was done from morning to night but carying and recarying Wood to make Bonfires ringing filling emptying of pots thaâ—al seemed as if the world was newly preserued from some second Flood as indeed our whole Kingdome was from a flood of griefe to the sale happy hauen of happinesse Moreouer his Highnesse happy and ioyfull comming on that day was a putting off an execution which sixe men and two women condemned male factors were to suffer at Tyburne wherby hee was the most fortunate cause of their reprieues and sauing and a larger time of repentance to amend their iiues The very Vintners burnt their bushes in Fleetstreet and other places and their wine was burnt all ouer London and Westminster into all colours of the Rainebow whole Pints Quarts Pottles and Gallons were made into Bonefires of Sacke and Claret whilst good fellowes like louing Salamanders swallowed those liquid fires most sweetly and affectionately But as concerning this fuell of Bacchus a great many would not stay or could not endure to see it burnt and so deuoured those French and Spanish Billets and Faggots raw which afterwards being warmed with shooting laughing singing and Leaping the heat burst out so hotly that it appeared in many a high coloured face till in the end the fire was quenched in the embers and ashes of sleepe And to the intent all estates should be merry there were diuers Noblemen Gentlemen and other that gaue store of gold to the poore some gaue vessels of wine in the streets Thu was the whole day spent till the darke night came and then began the second part of Englands joy for the nights Loue did as it were scorne to be outstripped with the dayes affection and obedience Amongst the rest the Spanish Ambassadors both at Exeter house in the Strand and at Ely house in Holborne did expresse their Loues by their charges and reioycings Then began a most merry and ioyfull confusion of Billets Faggots Bauins and Logs Baskets buckets and tubs were hotly and merrily consumed Buts Pipes Hogsheads Teirces puncheons Barrels Kilderkins Firkins Ruâ—lets and Dryfats most brauely blazed and suffered Some in Smithfield burnt their old Coaches and I wish they had all beene so well bestowed washing boules and beetles went to wracke old graters and stooles were turn'd to ashes mouse-traps and tinder boxes came tolight and hee or shee that had but foure tokens or as much credit committed their whole estate to fire and faggot insomuch that Chandlers-shops and store-houses were almost willingly emptied But in Paules Churchyard was exceeding benighted tryumphs for on the crosse round about were placed on the batlements and on the top of it as many burning Linkes as the Prince his Hignesse was yeares old and in some good distance from the Crosse were two mighty bone fires besides there was a crosse of wood erected which extended into foure branches and vpon euery branch a pitch barrel was fastned and one in the middest on the top which made a braue shew in the burning â— then were there Crâ—ssit Lights and most excellent fire-workes with squibs cracker rackets which most delightfully flew euery way And it is certaine to be proued that betwixt Paules Churchyard and London bridge in the nearest way that could be gone there were 108. Bonefires told many of them hauing at least one Load of wood in each some lesse I speake not of othe Streets Lanes which are out of that way besides the Strand Westminster and Holborne with hundreds of places which I saw not All these and much more was done here in London Westminster and the adioyning places nor is it to be doubted but that all Cities Townes and Villages will generally and particulary shew their louing obedience and affections Here is set forth the long and tedious Iourney with the seuerall stages or places where men take Post-horse quite through the Spacious Kingdome of France and so throughout into Spaine to the Citty of Madrid being in all 141. seuerall stages or PosteTowns some 8 some 10.12 or 16. miles from each other being in all about 1100. miles London Saint Leu Darford Lufarder Rochester Escouen Sittingbourne Saint Dennis Canterbury PARIS Douer La Burlarayur CALLICE Longuemeaux Le Bison Chator Marquessa Bonur Bulloigne Estampe Newchattell Guillerua Franeaz Angueruille Montruell Shaupillary Newpon Shateâ—gaillad Bernai Artenay Noieane Sercott Abeuille ORLEANCâ— Aillyle hanc dordes Saint Minion Flaircourt Nostra Dama Piguigny de Clara. Amiens Lestroya shemina Hancourt Le Laurena der â—ux Flaire Maide Briteur Mondinaux Rauigny BLOIS Saint Remy Les Montriba Cleremont Lambin Râ—ucellei Mont Richard Vr Leige Lochez Vr voya de Lion Varenur Cusac Liguer Le port de Crussac La bay Le Charbon blanc Perlane Le port de la Ba. Shatibben stil La Tredeuir BOVRDEAVX Chaffener Le petit Burdeaux POICTIERS Rufigni Hauborre Vr porte Aiâ—utete Troia Vinour Pooter Vmenicur Belleene Couer Muret Chour Allispostel Chouffa Le Brouheer Villafoignant Ien Guiller Aiger Laharee Gouruille Les Sperroone St. Seuerdeau x Chastel Villara Maior Chasteauneuf Saint Vincent Nonnauille Le Cabalon Barbefieux Les Anders Raignar Vnposte Aioutee La Grole BAYON Mou Lien Bidarbe Plonte Balc S. Ian de Luz Chauignon Arinanat What Townes are named in this Catalogue since you read Callice are all standing in France Now we come to relate of the passage through Spaine to the City of Madrid And first after your passage from Bayon you come shortly into the Kingdome of Nauarre which is now in the King of Spaines Dominions the first place therein where they take Post-horse is named Yron or Feria Poypela Oyason Miranda Eseruand Maiogur Tollousette Sogure Tolosa Brenica Verafrangij Castil de pione Segaur Quinta Pallâ— Gallarette BVRGOS Andiâ—amer Bisbregur VITORIA Songâ—ide â—â—â—ma â—â—habon â—â—andadeduera â—â—â—ubia Fressenuille Canaâ—uille Chastel St. Augustine St. Mresieur Acauenda Bouteagur MADRID Thus hauing shewed the long and dangerous tract by Land and from London to Madrid wee may herein see is part how much we are all bound to be thankfull to our great good God who hath so healthfully happily and timely preserued and â—â—â—â—ned our gracious Prince so wishedly after so many perils past on his part so many doubts and feares on ours vpon the which I haue for a conclusion written these following verses THe Prince of Princes and the King of Kings Whose Eye of Prauidence foresees all things To whom what euer was or ere shall be Is present still before his Maiesty Who doth dispose of all things as he list And graspeth Time in his eternall fist He sees and knowes for vs what 's bad or good And all things is by him well vnderstood Mens weake coniectures no way can areed What 's in th' immortall Parlament decreed And what the Trinitie concludeth there We must expect it with obedience here Then let not any man presume so farre To search what the Almighties councels are
The Warders knowes each Bottleman but I Had alwayes a crack'd crowns â—â—â— blacke eye Oft beaten like a Dog with a sâ—arch'd faee Turn'd empty beaten backe with vile disgrace These iniuries my selfe did bring â—â— qâ—iet And still with peace I fild you free from Ryot My labours haue beene ded care to you And you haue dealt with me as with a Iew For vnto thousand witnâ—ssâ—s 't is knowne I did esteeme your welfare as mine owne But an obiection from my words may runne That seeing nothing by you may be wonne Why I doe keepe this deale of doe about you When as I say I can liâ—â— best wiâ—â—o â—t you I answer though no profit you doe bring Yet there is many a profitable thing Which I of s This course neuer came into my minde in 14. yeares whilst I kept the place Mâ—â—â—â—s mighâ— often buy Which vnto me would yeeld câ—â—â—dâ—â—ty And I expected when the time should be That I should fill you as ' twâ—â— promâ—t me Whereby some other profit might be got Which I in formâ—r times remâ—â—â—â—d not All which could do the Câ—â—toâ—â—â—â—â—â—â— t A Iarre of Oliues and â—yle a few Poâ—atoes Oranges Leâ—mons and diuers other things which a man may buy get and sane by no wrong Which to repeate here would â—â— ouer-long But I was slâ—ighted with most vile disgrace And one that was my Prentise place'd in u The fellow was euer a true man to me and I enoy not his happinesse but yet â—â—â— very â—ouâ—e play oâ—â—erd me place x They are made of a Beast hide But holla holla Muse come backe come backe I speake to none out you you Bottles blacke You that are now turn'd Monsters most ingrate Where you haue cause to loue most most doe hate You that are of good manners quite dâ—priu'd Worse then the Beast from whence you are deriu'd If you be good for nothing but what 's naught Then sure you haue bin better sed then taught Besides the world will taxe me and say still The fault was mine that nurtur'd you â—o ill Perfisting thus in your iniurious wrong It shewes y' are drunke with being Eâ—â—â— long Long fasting sure hath made you weaâ— and dull For you are stedyest when you are most full Me thinkes I heare you say the fault's noâ— yours You are commanded by Superiouâ— powers But if the choyce were yours you had much rather That I than any one the Wines should gather Alasse poore fooles I see your force is weake Complaine you cannot wanting power to speake If you had speech it may be you would tell How with you and the Merchants I dealt well But 't is no matter though you silent be My fourteene yeares long seruice speakes for me And for the Merchants still my friends did proue I 'le tell them somewhat to reqâ—ite their Loue. First let their wisdomes but collect and summe How many ships with wine doe yearely come And they will finde that all these Bottles shall Not fill y At 1. gallons from a ship and from some but I â—â—â— and a â—â—â— I account 30. ships allowance is the quanâ—â—â—â—â—â— Hog head had â—â—â—â—â—â— may be easily found in the Custome house if I speake true or not nine Hogsheads at the most of all Then he that for them Three Tonne dares to giue The ease is plâ—iâ—e he must or beg or thieue I doe not say that you haue beene abus'd But you may partly guesse how you were vs'd Indeed z Now I speake of the bordes againe I thinke we nere so soone had parted Had friendly outsides bin but friendly harted The sweet bate couers the dâ—ceiuing hookes And false harts can put on good wards and lookes All is not gold the Prouerbesayes that gâ—â—â—ters And I could with their tongues were full of Blisters That with their flatt'ring diligence most double Themselues and you and I thus much did trouble For misinforming pâ—lâ—ry Knaues must be The instâ—â—â—nâ—â— of such indignity But as the fairest Gardens haue some weeds And mongst the cleanest flocke some â—cab'd sheepe breeds Or as the Tare amongst the wheat doth grow Good onely for what 's ill yet makes a show So there 's no greatnesse fixed on the ground But Claw backe Sycophants may there be found For 't is a Maxime held in euery Nation Great men are waited on by Adulation No doubt but some doth to the Court resort And sure the Tower must imitate the Court As Caesars Pallace may perhaps haue many So Caesars Castle cannot say not any I haue found some that with each wind would moâ—e With harts all hatred and with tongues all Loue Who with hats mou'd would take me by the fist With Complements of honest Iacke how i st I 'm glad to see thee well with all my heart Long haue I long'd to drinke with thee a quart I haue beleeu'd this Drosse had beene pure Gold When presently I haue beene bought and sold Behind my backe for no desert and Cause By those that kindly Cap'd and kist their Clawer For one of them an ancient Reuerend Scribe Receiued forty shillings for a Bribe On purpose so to bring the case about To put another in and thrust me out Long was the time this businesse was a brewing Vntill fit oportunity accruing I was displac'd yet spight the bribed Sharke The man that gaue the bribe did misse the marke O Bottles Bottles Bottles Bottles Bottles Platoes Diuine workes not great Aristoteles Did ne're make mention of a guist so Royall Was euer bought and sold like slaues disloyall For since King Richard second of that name I thinke your high Prerogatius you Claime And thus much here to write I dare be bold You are a guist not giuen to be sold For sence or reason neuer would allow That you should e're be bought and sold till now Phylosophers with all their Documents Not aged Times with all their monuments Did euer mention such vntoward Elues That did more idlely cast away themselues To such low ebbe your basenesle now doth shrinke Whereas you yearely did make thousands drinke The hatefull title now to you is left Y' are instruments of begg'ry and of Theft But when I fild you I dare boldly sweate From all these imputations you were cleare Against which I dare dare who dare or can To answer him and meet him man to man Truth armes me with the which I will hold Bias Against the shocke of any false Golias Bottles you haue not wanted of your fill Since you haue left me by your heedlesle will You scarce haue tasted penury or want For cunning Theeues are seldome ignorant Yet many times you haue beene fild with trash Scarce good enough your dirty skins to wash All this I know and this I did deuine But all 's one Draffe is good enough for Swine I doe not here inueigh or yet Enuy The places profit none can come thereby And in my hand it lyes if so I please To spoyle it and not make it worth
extreme pumping Auaunt dull Morpheus with thy leaden spirit Can matter want of him that wants no merit As he through Syria and Arabia's coasting My lines from Asia into Africke poasting I 'l follow him alongst the Riuer Nilus In Egypt where false Crocodiles beguile vs. Through Mauritania to the towne of Dido That flew her selfe by power of god Cupido The Kingdomes vnsuruaid he 'l not leaue one From Zona Foride to the Frozen Zone With Prester Iohn in AEthiopia And th' ayrie Empire of Eutopia A SHORT DESCRIPTION OF THE LONGING desire that AMERICA hath to entertaine this vnmatchable Perambulator AMerica A merry K Peru. Vnhappy all in hauing not thy view Virginia of thy worth doth onely heare And longs the weight of thy foot-steps to beare Returne thee O returne thee quickly than And see the mighty Court of Powhatan Then shall great Volumes with thy Trauels swell And Fame ring lowder then Saint Pulchers Bell. Then maist thou if thou please despight the Deuil End thy good daies within the Towne of Euill And then at Odcombe thou entomb'd maist be Where Trauellers may come thy shrine to see By which the Sexton may more money get Then Mecaes Priests doe gaine by Mahomet These Letters following which thou didst subscribe Vnto thy Mother and th' Odcombian Tribe Declare thy Art and also whence thou art And whence from thence thy purpose is to part Thy learn'd Oration to the mighty Mogull All men thereby may see if thou beest no gull T is so compactly and exactly writ It shewes an extraordinary wit For write thou what thou please 't is thy good lot Men like it though they vnderstand it not A LITTLE REMEMBRANCE OF HIS VARIETY OF TONGVES AND Politicke forme of Trauell A Very Babel of confused Tongues Vnto thy little Micrâ—cosms belongs That to what place socuer thou doest walke Thou wilt lost nothing through the want of talke For thou canst kisse thy hand and make a legge And wisely canst in any language begge And sure to beg 't is policy I note It sometimes saues the cutting of thy throat For the worst thiefe that euer liu'd by stealth Will neuer kill a begger for his wealth But who is' t but thy wisedome doth admire That doth vnto such high conceits aspire Thou tak'st the bounty of each bounteous giuer And drink'st the liquor of the running riuer Each Kitchin where thou com'st thou hast a Cook Thou neuer runst on score vnto the Brooke For if thou didst the Brook and thou wouldst gree Thou runst from it and it doth run from thee In thy returne from Agra and Assmere By thy relation following doth appeare That thou dost purpose learnedly to fling A rare Oration to the Persian King Then let the idle world prate this and that The Persian King will giue thee God knows what And furthermore to me it wondrous strange is How thou dost meane to see the Riuer Ganges With Tigris Euybrates and Nimrode Babel And the vnhappy place where Cain slew Abel That if thou were in Hebrew circumcised The Rabbyes all were wondrous ill aduised Nay more they were all Coxcombs all stark mad To thinke thou wert of any Tribe but Gad. Sure in thy youth thou at'st much running fare As Trotters Neates-feet and the swift-foot Hare And so by inspiration fed it bred Two going feet to beare one running head Thou filst the Printers Presse with griefe mourning Still gaping and expecting thy returning All Pauls Church-yard is fild with melancholly Not for the want of bookes or wit but folly It is for them to greeue too much for thee For thou wilt come when thou thy time shalt see But yet at one thing much my Muse doth muse Thou dost so many commendations vse Vnto thy mother and to diuers friends Thou hast remembred many kind commends And till the last thou didst forget thy Father I know not why but this conceit I gather That as men sitting at a seast to eat Begin with Beefe Porke Mutton and such meat And when their stomacks are a little cloyd This first course then the Voyder doth auoyd The anger of their hunger being past The Pheasant and the Partridge comes at last This I imagine in thy minde did fall To note thy Father last to close vp all First to thy Mother here thou dost commend And lastly to thy Father thou dost send Shee may command in thee a Filiall awe But he is but thy Father by the Law To heare of thee mirth euery heart doth cheere But we should laugh out-right to haue thee heere For who is it that knowes thee but would chuse Farther to haue thy presence then thy newes Thou shew'st how wel thou setst thy wits to work In tickling of a misbeleeuing Turke He call'd thee Giaur but thou so well didst answer Being hot and fierie like to crabbed Caucer That if he had a Turke ' of ten pence bin Thou toldst him plaine the errors he was in His Alkaren his Moskyes are whim-whams False bug-beare bables fables all that dams Slights of the Diuell that bring perpetuall woe Thou wast not mealy mouth'd to tell him so And when thy talke with him thou didst giue ore As wise he parted as he was before His ignorance had not the power to see Which way or how to edifie by thee But with the Turke thus much I build vpon If words could haue done goâ—d it had beene done The superscription Sent from Azmere the Court of the great and mightiest Monarch of the East called the great MOGVLL in the Easterne India To be conuaid To my deare and louing Mother M rs Garthered Coriat at her house in the Towne of Euill in Somersetshire I pray you deliuer this letter at Gerards Hall to Christopher Guppie a Carrier if he be yet liuing or else to some other honest trusty Messenger to be conuaid with all conuenient speed to the place aforesaid MASTER THOMAS CORIATS COMMENDATIONS TO HIS friends in England From Agra the Capitall City of the Dominion of the Great MOGOLL in the Easterne India the last of October 1616. Most deare and welbeloued Mother THough I haue superscribed my letter from Azmere the Court of the greatest Monarch of the East called the Great Mogoll in the Eastern India which I did to this end that those that haue the charge of conueiance thereof perceiuing such a title may be the more carefull and diligent to conuey it safely to your hands yet in truth the place from which I wrote this letter is Agra a City in the said Eastern India which is the Metropolitan of the whole Dominion of the foresaid King Mogoll and tenne daies iourny from his Court at the said Azmere From the same Azmere I departed the 12 day of September An. 1616 after my â—â—bode there 12 moneths and 60 daies which though I confesse it were a too long time to remaine in one and the selfesame place yet for two principall causes it was very requisite for me to remaine there some
reasonable time first to learne the languages of those Countries through which I am to passe betwixt the bounds of the Territories of this Prince and Christendome namely these three the Persian Turkish and Arab which I haue in some competent measure attained vnto by my labour and industry at the said Kings Court matters as auaileable vnto me as mony in my purse as being the chiefest or rather onely meane to get me mony if I should happen to be destitute a matter very incidentall to a poore Footman Pilgrim as my selfe in these heathen and Mahometan Countries through which I trauell Secondly that by the helpe of one of those languages I meane the Persian I might both procure vnto my selfe accesse vnto the King and bee able to expresse my mind vnto him about the matter for the which I should haue occasion to discourse with him These were the reasons that moued me so long to tarry at the Mogols Court during which time I abode in the house of the English Merchants my deare Countrimen not spending one little peece of mony either for diet washing lodging or any other thing And as for the Persian tongue which I studied very earnestly I attained to that reasonable skill and that in a fewe moneths that I made an Oration vnto the King before many of his Nobles in that language and after I had ended the same discoursed with his Maiesty also in that tongue very readily and familiarly the Copy of which speech though the tongue it selfe will seeme to an Englishman very strange and vncouth as hauing no kind of affinity with any of our Christian languages I haue for nouelty sake written out in this letter together with the translation thereof in English that you may shew it to some of my learned friends of the Clergy and also of the Temporalty in Euil and elswhere who belike will take some pleasure in reading so rare and vnusuall a tongue as this is The Persian is this that followeth The Copie of an Oration that I made in the Persian tongue to the Great Mogoll before diuers of his Nobles HAzaret Aallum pennah salamet fooker Daruces ve tehaungeshta hast am kernia emadam az wellagets door ganne az mulk Inglizan ke kessanaion petheeÌ„ mushacas cardand ke wellagets mazcoor der akers magrub bood ke mader hamma iezzaerts dunmast Sabebbe amadane mari mia boosti char cheez ast au val be dedane mobarreckdeedars Hazaret ke seete caramat ba hamma Trankestan reeseedast ooba tamam mulk Musulmanan der sheenedan awsaffe Hazaret daueeda amadam be deedane ast awne akdas mushar af geshtans duum bray deedane feelbay Hazaret kin chunm ianooar der heech mulk ne dedam seu in bray deedane nauswer dary ace shuâ—ma Ganga ke Serdare hamma daryaba dumiest Chaharum cen ast keyec ferm awne alishaion amayet fermoy and ke betwanam der wellayetts Vzbeck raftan ba shahre Samarcand bray Zeerat cardan cabbre mobarrec Saheb crawncab awsaffe tang oe mosachere oo der tamans aallum meshoor ast belkder wellagette Vzbec cencader meshoor neest chunan cheder mulc Iuglisan ast digr bishare eshteeac darambe deedane mobarrec mesare Saheb crawnca bray â—â—n saheb che awne samanche focheer de shabr stâ—lâ—l boodam ycaiaeb cohua amarat deedam dermâ—n yecush bawg nasdec sbaht mascoor coia che paâ—â—aâ— Eezawiawn che namesh Manuel bood che Saâ—â—â—â— crawnea cush mehmannec aseem cards bood beâ—dâ—â—â—â—â— gristane Sulten Baiasetra as iange aseem che sâ—â—â— bood nas dec shahre Bursa coimache Saheb craâ—â— Sultan Baiasetra de Zenicera tell aio bestand codâ— cafes nahadond cen char chees meera as mulche mâ—ium baneed tamia as mulc Room oo Arrac peeâ—â— geshta as door der cen mulc reseedam che châ—r bâ—sar pharsang raw dared beshare derd co moâ—â—â— casheedam che heech ches der een dunnia cencâ—â—â—n mohuet ne casheedast bray deedune mobarrec dedâ—â—s Hasereret own roos che be tacte shaugh ne shaughâ—â— musharaf fermoodand The English of it is this LOrd * This is the ordinary title that is giuen him by all strangers Protector of the world all haile to you I am a poore Traueller and worldseer which am come hither from a farre country namely England which ancient Historians thought to haue beene situated in the fartheâ— bounds of the West and which is the Queene of all the Ilands in the world The cause of my comming hither is for foure respects First to see the blessed face of your Maiesty whose wonderfull fame hath resounded ouer all Europe the Mahometan Countries When I heard of the fame of your Maiesty I hastened hither with speed and trauelled very cheerefully to see your glorious Court Secondly to see your Maiesties Elephants which kind of beasts I haue not seene in any other countrey Thirdly to see your famous Riuer Ganges which is the Captaine of all the Riuers of the world The fourth is this to intreat your Maiesty that you would vouchsafe to grant me your gracious Passe that I may travell into the Country of Tartaria to the City of Samarcand to visit the blessed Sepulcher of the Lord of the Corners this is a title that is giuen to Tamberlaine in this Country in that Persian language and whereas they call him the Lord of the Corners by that they mean that he was Lord of the corners of the world that is the highest and supreme Monarch of the Vniuerse whose fame by reason of his wars and victories is published ouer the whole world perhaps he is not altogether so famous â—n his own Country of Tartaria as in England Moreouer I haue a great desire to see the blessed Toombe of the Lord of the Corners for this cause for that when I was at Constantinople I saw a notable old building in a pleasant garden neere the said City where the Christian Emperor that was called Emanuel made a â—umptuous great Banquet to the Lord of the Corners after he had taken Sultan Baiazet in letters of Gold and put him in a cage of Iron These foure causes moued me to come out of by natiue Counrrey thus farre hauing trauelled a foot through Turkie and Persia so far haue I traced the world into this Countrey that my pilgrimage hath accomplished three thousand miles wherin I haue sustained much â—bour and toyle the like whereof no mortall â—â—an in this World did euer performe to see â—â—e blessed face of your Maiesty since the first day that you were inaugurated in your glorious Monarchall throne After I had ended my speech I had some â—â—ort discourse with him in the PersiaÌ„ tongue â—ho amongst other things told me that concerning my trauell to the City of Samarcand â—â— was not able to doe me any good because â—here was no great amity betwixt the Tartaâ—â—an Princes and himselfe so that his commendatory letters would doe mee no good â— Also he added that the Tartars did so deadly hate all Christians that they would certainely kill them when they came